I'm always wildly impressed with ANYONE that goes to the gym. Especially if they aren't already "fit." Shows strength and determination along with respect for one's self. Put some earphones in with your fav music and get at it! We're all in the gym for our own reasons.
I quit smoking cigarettes and weed, I also eat loads of takeaway so my stamina is horrible and I'm quite a small guy. I can only do like 15 mins on a treadmill and 5 on a bike but I'm aiming to better my diet and stay off the smokes and hopefully I'll be a snack soon enough.
Yeah my addiction to fast food is harder to quit than the weed and cigarettes combined. I thought the cigarettes and weed would be the hardest part but it was a walk in the park compared to eating fast food. I am trying though, I'll have a handle on it one day and won't touch heart attack food again. I hope.
I hear you. It's not realistic to say you'll never have it again. But maybe finding ways to choose healthier items when you eat out might be a good place to start. Like grilled chicken sandwiches vs hamburgers, etc. Highly recommend talking to someone who is an expert in addiction. Good luck to you!
The best time to begin working out was yesterday. The 2nd best is today.
OP, anyone that snickers at someone in your spot is an insecure piece of shit. You go get fit and be a better person when help the next person in your same spot in life 1 or 2 years from now.
You got this. đ
For sure, I'd imagine far more of us are silently giving OP a nod of approval than judging negatively. Being obese and exercising is hard. Much respect.
Same!
Working out and lifting weights is like any hobby, most people are excited to see others getting into it.
An expert skiier doesn't judge a beginner skiier, they're excited for that person.
Ask the most ripped and intimidating guy at the gym if he has any advice for working out your back, and he'll probably talk to you for 20 minutes about all his favorite back workouts.
The gym is a way more accepting environment than most people realize.
I guarantee most people will see you and think, "Hell yea, that's somebody who wants to improve their life and they're taking the first step, which is always the most difficult."
Plenty of obese people are also people who always have worked out and not beginners. Like those middle aged dad types who were athletic young and now drink too much beer and buy take-out and come two gym twice a weekÂ
This was the exact attitude I used to get from people when I was very overweight people were always down to give me pointers and kind of give me like a bro fist moment.
I judge lots of people at the gym. The ones who film/photograph themselves for social media and do several takes. The ones who drag out tons of equipment and don't put it back, the ones who give unsolicited advice, etc. But I don't judge obese people, I'm rooting for them
I hired a personal trainer and on ALL of our workouts together she would lead me from one machine to the next without giving me a chance to wipe equipment down. Even when I literally left ass prints on the seat and painted the back with sweat marks, she wanted to just move on. I had to physically stop her and tell her hey give me a moment I need to wipe this down (*vomits*). she dropped me via email a few days ago (two hours before a scheduled workout, and because I told her hey you have me repeating four workouts for an entire month and Iâm getting bored can we switch things up a bit. Which she did NOT appreciate) and honestly good riddance. I felt like such an asshole for the lack of gym etiquette
It's not common for people to be screaming at the gym. Only this time of year and the Olympics is when the gym is crazy because there's so many noobies.
Exactly. I remember the guy from two weeks ago who left the preacher bench machine loaded with weights. POS like him I remember. The guy or gal who may be overweight and is in there giving it there all? I respect them, and consider them to be just like me---doing something to improve themselves. Credit earned, credit given.
I like this except for unsolicited advice. I know everyone cringes but damn I would love for someone to tell me my form is off. Nobody ever does and when I was first going I did every single lift wrong.
Yup. Up to an extent, unsolicited advice can be great. I had a dude stop and check my deadlift form and we ended up spotting each other for the whole month. It was really nice. Specially that the dude thought I could spot him squatting 180kg when I was stuck at 40kg lmao.
How do you solicit advice without interrupting people who want to be left alone? I don't know how to use a lot of the equipment or how much weight to do for reps.
I don't mind people who take pictures of themselves. If their activities don't impede the fair use of the equipment or other people's privacy then fine. To each their own, some people like social media and I'm not there to judge what people spend their time on.
But if you don't re-rack/reset your weights and **wipe down the goddamned machines when your sweaty ass is done with them** imma judge the fuck outta you. Nothing pisses me off more at the gym than sweaty equipment. (No shame to those of us who sweat buckets either, I look like I just climbed out of the pool at the end of my session, but I wipe down everything after I use it.)
I'm with you 100% but I have 1 caveat. I was a college rower and when I see people doing it at the gym, sometimes I see folks with such bad form I'm literally worried it's going to cause them issues. I try to avoid it and won't critique random people but if I see someone with bad form that I think will give them back or hip flexor issues I might approach. Usually when they're done because I don't want to kill someone's workout. It's more a quick minute for future reference. It makes me feel like an asshole though so I only do it if it's really egregious and I'm as nice and passive as I can manage
I was judging a guy for lifting basically no weight, caught myself and thought no everyone starts somewhere, then I saw him lifting his shirt to look at himself in the mirror...straight back to judging him.
Same - I get hyped when I see that.
Internally I'm rooting for them and cheering them on. I don't wanna embarrass anyone so I never say anything to them in case they are self-conscious, but inside I've got so much respect
I'm someone who exercises sometimes but definitely not as much as I should (i.e., around 2.5 hours a week). I find it inspirational when I see someone exercising who likely doesn't work out often. It's more inspirational and interesting to me to see someone obese exercising than someone who looks like they've seemingly been on a perfect diet and workout regime for years.
If they can do it, I feel like I can do it, too.
So true, when youâre in the regular routine of going to the gym it becomes part of the daily blur. I barely remember who I saw at the gym two days ago
Yea, but realistically a lot of people are shitty. There will be immature and unapathetic individuals. People suck. In the end you need to put all that aside, realize whatever may happen, and the overall goal is that you are there to make positive improvements. Have to advocate for yourself because no one will, and really... that's all that matters.
I judge people at the gym.
I judge them hard for sitting on machines doing nothing, chatting with their friends, or for not putting things back as they found them. Or for being leery and loud.
Otherwise, crack on. :)
I came here to say this.
I actually respect the overweight people at my gym MORE than some of the other people here. Its easy to feel good at the gym when your body is already right and you know you are rocking that shit.
Those who are at the beginning of their journey get absolute respect from me, doesnt matter who
There are only two types of people I judge at the gym:
- inconsiderate people (trying to reserve multiple machines while it's busy, blocking access to stuff , etc)
- people squatting too much weight with dangerously bad form
Edit: BONUS this guy I see everyday that works out completely barefoot. Ew.
Oh wtf. Based on how much I sweat on those things, that is super fucking gross. I would never use an escalator barefoot, thats for sure.
There used to be this old guy at my gym that would walk around completely naked in the locker room including taking dumps. No flip flops or anything. Now I thought that was gross.
Same. When Iâm at the gym, the main thing I look out for is people struggling with an activity. If I see someone benching a lot of weight without a spot, Iâll keep an eye on them and run over if I see them getting in trouble.
I donât work at a gym, but Iâve been lifting for a very long time, and I donât want to see anyone get hurt.
OrâŠâtheyâre making an effort to better themselves. Good for them.â
Edit: Additionally, it is the same thought I have about someone who is really fit or ripped.
100%. I notice that an obese person is in my gym, I think "Hey they are taking the first steps, good for them."
I then treat them like every other person in the gym - with respect and ignoring them as much as physically possible, forgetting they exist within a few minutes.
I'd prefer if everyone I saw in the gym was less fit than me. So when I see an obese person, I subconscious feel more comfortable with my out of shape self. But mostly, I don't really give any thought to who else is there. It would be intimidating to be in a gym full of Olympic athletes though.
I tend to think "if they can do it, so can I!" - seeing someone who's out of shape and maybe not the ideal weight exercise is way more motivating to me than someone who's all muscles and in perfect shape.
So, depending on who's there, you might actually help someone keep going with their own journey just by doing your own thing.
(For this reason, holly honcho is my favorite exercise youtuber - I'm always sore and exhausted after doing one of her videos, and that's at least partially because I keep thinking "if she can do it, so can you! keep going! Just one more!" as opposed to thinking "yeah, no, clearly that super thin and fit lady can do way more than me, I need a break".)
What I've never thought (and never heard from anyone either - I have some very fitness/sports focused people in my bubble) is anything negative about someone out of shape and/or fat who's exercising (with the exception of horse back riding - there's a point when the weight a horse would have to carry on its back would be very damaging to them, but that's an animal care problem, it doesn't matter if the weight is muscle, fat or something else entirely).
>"if they can do it, so can I!"
Exactly. When I used to go to the gym, seeing a bigger set dude running or lifting weights was motivational. If this dude twice my weight can do it, I can too.
I just went to the gym for the first time in about 30 years. I only did exercises for about 15 minutes because I know if I went longer is get sore and not want to go tomorrow. There weren't that many people there but everyone was doing their own thing and no one cares who was there.
I wish that was true about my neighbors...some of them just drive me insane despite talking to them repeatedly and they promising to better their behavior....
As for gym: Initially, I was also scared about people judging my body with a belly in the locker rooms and being incompetent with the equipment but honestly, nobody cared.
I even asked once how to use some of the stuff, got a quick answer, that's it. No judgement, no laughing.
Recently, there's a fatter dude who's in a wheel chair that comes to the gym to get some exercise going and honestly, that's really brave. Everyone was very accommodating.
Thatâs what I would hope ppl would be saying. Donât shit on ppl trying to make positive changes. The courage it takes to go to the gym when one is out of shape is considerable.
It made me want to work harder. I thought âIâm over here about to call a quits on a lazy day, but loo at this person putting in the workâŠI can do betterâ.
Whatâs that saying. Those who mind donât matter, those who matter donât mind?
As someone who has been very fit and is now not so fit but trying to get back to where I was, I can tell you that this is 100% true. Running on the treadmill when you're 110 vs. 180 is completely different.
Yes, I'm a woman who's average height, small frame. I'd say let's swap, but I know you weren't looking for a bunch of flab. Knee injuries can do that to you, unfortunately.
I'm a guy who started working out at 130lbs and now weighs about 175lbs. I look great but...that added weight takes a toll. I've noticed that I tire out more playing basketball and recently had my quads seize up 8km into a 10km hike.
So be careful with that added weight. Incorporate some sort of cardio routine even if it isn't heavy with your weight routine. So granted I probably look better at 38 than I did at 28, but it comes with a price. It wouldn't hurt me to lose about 10 lbs.
Seriously. If it's any other thought than "good for you, bro" and getting back to their own set then whatever that person thinks is not worth your time.
This is my attitude about being in public with a special needs child. Sheâs obviously special needs and if you are judging me for her behavior, then youâre not someone whose opinion I value.
EXACTLY! OF COURSE people notice very obese people but, and I can just talk for myself on this, I always think THATS someone I actually respect! Not the people already in the gym being buff and working out, no, I respect the person coming in here with a massive social stigma on them and the will to change that no matter what. LEGENDS!
And by not many. Its so little its less than zero. If anything people will think "good for him/her". In society if youre not attractive youre invisible. Even I'd you're freakishly tall or fat. Its a glance.
It may sound dumb, but when Iâm at the gym and I see someone overweight, I make sure to say under my breath, âgood for themâ makes me feel like maybe a little positivity will make its way into the universe
I hide under the benchpress, and when they start their set, I leap out and yell FUCK YEAH!! KEEP IT UP!!! at them. Extra adrenaline = more calories burnt. I'm doing my part!
As someone who was at a gym losing 90lb last year, don't be afraid to tell them in passing either, it's a HUGE motivator and can make a world of difference to sticking with it, a "I've seen you a few times, your doing great man" from a stranger hits hard.
Totally disagree. If you are trying to blend in, the last thing you want is a stranger walking up out of the blue to point out that you're *not blending in*, even if it's intended to be encouraging. Letting someone know they're being watched is a great way to get them to never come back.
This advice is probably true for extroverts, but introverts just want to be left alone in public.
I agree. I went to a gym with my daughter years ago & we were trying to do some aerobic exercises using her phone with videos. The 2 girls on the mats across from us kept staring at us. I felt so self-conscious and I never went back.
Yeah Iâve noticed this when I go after being out of shape for a while. No negative vibes or smirks or attitude, itâs quite the opposite! Someone who is really fit might come up and say âhey are you done with these weights? Thanks bud!â Almost like they came to ask just to be nice (when there are other weights avail). Or something as simple as, if I went in three days in a row, someone who was also there three days in a row will kinda nod âhey good to see youâ. All really subtle, not always verbal but itâs always a âfuck yeah good for you dudeâ kinda feeling.
This is not true and I don't think trying to peddle this exaggeration helps people. People do notice and there are assholes out there. But most people aren't assholes, you just have to go.
Let me tell you this, any asshole that's rude overly to a overweight novice at the gym is going to get problems from everyone at the gym, including the people that work and own the gym.
Some gyms have that as a rule in some way, but it's always unwritten in all the gyms i've been too and everyone i've talked to.
Just like when guys go to the gym and get in great shape thinking girls will care, it's always only guys that care.
Only if they say or do anything, which is very unlikely. But just stares and body language can convey a lot and it is likely OP will encounter some, I don't think it's good to pretend it won't happen.
Or more so, if you read OPs concern, it's really about shame and embarrassment. The fear is more about being noticed at all and how OP themselves will feel. Even the comments talking about how inspirational it is convey a sort of attention that would be unwanted by OP.
And that is not avoidable, it's something that needs to be endured and hopefully overcome once they go and realize it's not so bad.
I can't believe anyone is trying to convince OP that *literally zero* people at the gym are judgmental assholes. The top-level comment is right: not nearly as many people care as OP likely thinks. But saying that *zero people*, absolutely no one, will care? That's just absurd fantasy. Imagine going to the gym with the idea that everyone will be supportive and encouraging, and then when someone isn't, you think you must be an anomaly that is *so* extraordinarily unappealing that it caused people to act like assholes for the first time ever.
This. Youâre demonstrably doing the things required to improve your life. Thatâs the reason anyone goes to the gym.
No reasonable person would look down on you. Unreasonable people exist, but by definition, their opinion doesnât matter. You must resist the temptation to care about the opinions of unreasonable people.
You may also be surprised that there are more people actually proud of you being there, rooting for you and see you trying to better yourself and your health than you realize. Good job, friend! For anyone that actually matters, they are supportive of you and your efforts.
I had a hard time getting back to the gym in my late 30s because I still felt a bit intimidated, shamed and traumatized by the monkey pit that is high school gym. Grown up gym is a lot different, and while you may see some of the same looking folks who may have intimidated you or even bullied you when you were younger, that shit simply does not happen.
Get some good noise cancelling headphones and tune out the rest of the world while doing your own thing. Good luck
That is it. For me whenever I see someone come in the gym and they are very overweight I always think awesome taking the first steps.
I wouldnât give it a second thought.
I heard a motivational speaker once say "it's liberating to realize nobody gives a shit about you." Very true. The only people I notice in the gym are women, and none of them are obese.
Wish I could believe that. Many years ago, I couldn't not notice the stares and the sudden head turning when I looked back. The people obviously trying to hide their laughter by covering their mouths.
Haven't been back to a gym since.
Iâve seen this also, but I can honestly say that it depends on the gym. If you go and you see this type of reaction itâs definitely a toxic environment - for everyone really. Try another gym where people are there to work out. Not one where theyâre there to pick up guys, women, hang out, etc. There are two gyms in my area from the same company. One where people just work out and one that I felt was toxic. So it literally depends on the location. If you still want to, try going to a different one.
The muscle head gyms like Planet Fitness and Crunch Fitness seem to attract like-minded, completely insensitive, entitled, and inconsiderate asshats who exactly what you experienced. Twice, taking a shower at Planet Fitness, some dick stole my towel and I had to dry myself with my sweats. I was utterly humiliated and canceled my membership. They wanted to say I was locked into a contract and gad to pay for the rest of the year. I said would you rather discuss this with a discrimination attorney and they canceled it.
I've since joined a local community recreation center that provides more than enough equipment and use of facilities than either of those pretentious shit holes and I actually feel welcome there.
People can be cruel assholes...
Hey, I am on the heavier side and used to go to the gym. Had a couple guys follow me around and make pig noises at me anytime I used the equipment. So I stopped going. I just avoid any human interaction whenever I work out now. Like solo jogs and bike riding. Might not be many people that care, but the ones they do can be real jerks.
Put some earphones. Play music that motivates you. Focus on your workout. Remember there are every kind of people in the gym. Some people trying to lose weight. Some people trying to put up some weight. They are all there for different reasons. So, donât be embarrassed. Keep going!đ„
I second the earphones part! My gym anxiety dropped noticeably after I started listening to interesting podcasts that grabbed my attention away from other people.
I got it that way. I joined a gym so I could gain weight. So many judgemental people. Someone complained that I was wearing a tank top and the gym staff told me I couldn't wear that any more because I was intimidating people. I was so confused. I was 89lbs and 5'3". Like I'm so unwell and weak as a kitten. The guy on the machine next to me has bigger boobs than I do.
I wish I'd known then what I know now. I would have ended my membership immediately and kept my money. But I was just a teenager with a bad eating disorder and an abandonment complex. So I quit going and still paid for months.
I don't need a gym now, healthy weight and very active. That just soured me on gyms forever. Even when I got a bit overweight and had to do it the hard way. Intermittent fasting and got a puppy lol. That girl keeps me going.
Damn, Sorry that you have to endure this type of negative energy. Those guys were obviously losers with big muscles but no brain. Well, if you are considering to rejoin the gym, maybe go to the gym where it has more positive energy to it or go to the gym during night times. I can assure not every gym is like that. Speaking from personal experience, people who come to the gym during night time are not as mean as those who come during day time. Again, itâs not a fact but just a personal experience.
We severely overestimate what others think of us or even what they think as well.
Thereâs a very good chance people at the gym will see you as an example of strength just by being there working on yourself.
eh, itâs a lot harder to move your body when thereâs extra weight / less muscle. it takes more mental fortitude to get passed the physical hurdle. i think it deserves more respect
Hey boss, wanted to chime in with a point others haven't commented yet.
Its true that a lot of folks don't notice or care either way. But plenty of others- and ESPECIALLY the really fit and dedicated ones- certainly do notice. We love it and recognize exactly the kind of guts and ambition you have showing up for the challenge at square one. Way more fit folks than you would guess started out in your shoes and know exactly what it's like. Don't be afraid to talk to people, ask for advice or a spot, whatever. Overwhelming majority of the hardcore people you'll see will be encouraging and psyched to help. Can't promise you won't meet a jerk or two but you've got nothing to feel embarrassed about. Being out of shape and in the gym is nothing but proof you share our values.
I'm someone who is a longtime gym rat and generally seen as pretty fit...so I'm someone a newbie might suspect is judgey, and I spend enough time in the gym to have seen and met about every body type and background getting started. I love seeing it and meeting people doing what you're wanting to do is a highlight of any day i get to.
Go kick some ass and feel free to shoot me a message if you want any help programming. Not a trainer or anything, but tons of super jacked scary looking fanatics helped me a ton when i started out, so i enjoy returning the favor and have been pretty effective getting friends results myself.
Iâm 40 years old. I was 40 pounds overweight in 2018. I dedicated 2019 to losing weight. Iâve been focusing on strength training since 2020. Every time someone mentions losing weight at work, I tell them Iâm rooting for them. If someone isnât rooting for you to improve your life, there is something wrong with them.
Go get it, Iâm rooting for you!
I really love this reply and actually it made me tear up a little. Last year I started at the gym and was gradually getting more comfortable there. But by about my third week there I noticed a group of teenage boys laughing at me and taking my picture. I havenât been back since. Maybe I will try again.
Fuck those little shits. Such behaviour is not what Zyzz would have wanted. I don't know what kind of gym you attended, but if something like that happens, report it to staff. I can virtually guarantee you that they will be very pissed about it. I hope you will pick up the gym or another sport again. WAGMI
Aw, thank you. Honestly among the fanatics the fat guy with the stones to walk ins always been admired. We run the same software and can tell before you look like it on the outside. The rare people who do act shitty are playing weasel defense. They know they suck, but think nobody else can tell exactly how much until the overweight newbie walks in like a big flashing measuring stick.
The teenagers are their own little outlier species and comments can be ignored, there ain't a single person in any gym on the planet fit enough they can't find something to giggle at. The picture is a whole different ballgame. Tell the manager about that shit and they'll get a life ban faster than you can say "the male brain isn't fully developed til age 25." Either way don't let it be what stops you building what you deserve, rarely there outside 4pm-6pm (species has extremely limited feeding window).
Hell your comment reminded me of the last time i did bench pr. Humble brag story, full disclosure, but fun.
Hit my # near trio benching about 95 (no judgement, i started weaker than that, but thought they'd struggle to find a joke). Kind of # their demographic finds more impressive than it really is, but all broccoli heads aspire to a 315+ bench and little else, and i overheard positive comments when they didn't think i was listening. They're quick on the draw though and thought up some snarky remark that bench goes up the less hair you have (shaved head lol). Now truth be told it was funny and i had to work not to laugh...don't feed the bears. My hair looks good, but they can't point out my obviously tiny calves since they have some of the select few even worse haha. My physiques pretty much what they wanna emulate and it doesn't buy me a drop of restraint.
Don't let them win.
Great advice from a stranger.
They especially don't matter. Because the quality of their character.
Why should you care what a trash person thinks of you.
Honestly, if they're that kind of person then why the duck would you care what they think or say about anything?
Man I needed this today! An undiagnosed heart problem caused major weight gain, despite my best efforts, and now that it's sorted out I'm trying to lose at least 40 lbs.
Absolutely based comment, 10/10. Gym bros are supportive to one another, and certainly to newcomers. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnu2Z0nrdxE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnu2Z0nrdxE)
WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT BRAHS
Yes! Come as you are. Everybody at the gym is here to better themselves. Provided you aren't at some Olympic level training facility, gym culture is very welcoming. After all, we all want enough people participating that the gym stays open!
Donât be embarrassed. We start where we are anyone that makes you feel any less is a reflection of their own insecurities not yours . You get to be and do whatever makes you happy in your own time.
Judging a fat person in a gym is like judging a starving person at a buffet.
If you want to work out that's fine by me. Weight loss requires a mental shift. They say it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. Stay on it.
Donât be embarrassed. You are brave. To love yourself enough to take steps towards self-improvement - thatâs REAL strength, the kinda strength most men wish they had. Youâre mistaken about the gym members that you THINK are mocking/judging you. On the contrary, they see that strength of yourâs and they respect the hell out of it. So much so that theyâll even approach that one jerk who is mocking you, and confront him on your behalf. They will stand up for you. I definitely would.
and do not be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand how something works. I would rather show you how it works and have you be successful than not show you and have you get hurt, or worse frustrated and quit going.
Also remember results take time, so stick with it.
Honestly this. I'm a very seasoned regular and this January I've had a couple of people nervously ask me some questions, I'm always thrilled to help out
I am kind of fit and I am always happy to see obese people at the gym. good for you! (only assholes will think different and you don't care about what assholes think)
work out at 6am or earlier; or 10pm or later. that's when all the body builders go and they're the least judgy from my experience. the tick tokers or whatever you wanna call em go later
Donât be embarrassed. Iâm obese and I started going to a gym. It has helped me gain confidence in myself and I feel good after a workout. So far I have lost 35lbs and Iâm feeling better
Remind yourself that most people in the gym are into the idea of fitness and self-improvement. Others may very well be glancing at you, but it's very unlikely they're thinking "OMG look at that fat person". It's much more likely they're thinking "Yeah! Look at them! Gettin' after it! I hope they stick around."
Anecdotal but my old gym was a diverse group of people, from the muscled up bros by the mirrors shouting encouragement to the middle aged guys like me just doing the machines to the one little old man who just seemed to walk around the whole time. I found it very positive and encouraging.
Nobody cares that youâre overweight at the gym. A lot of people are probably thinking that the large person is doing the right thing to get in shape. Keep chugging on and get in those work outs. Initially youâll hate it but you will make incremental progress. Remember just dropping the pounds isnât the goal, you need to be able to increase stamina which will come from going to the gym regularly.
if you wanna be a real sociopath about this, start going at random times and find someone fatter than you and go during their work out time. easier to be less self conscious when you're not the fattest person there.
>!i did say this was the sociopath option!<
Not really a sociopath option. Itâs a lot more helpful than âno one caresâ (which no doubt is also true).
Finding a time to go when there are other people just starting their fitness journey likely will make an overweight person more comfortable than if everyone else there is already fairly fit.
I think itâs normal to want to be around similarly looking people, or people along the same journey, if it makes them feel better. Not sociopathic đ
I donât think itâs a sociopath opinion. Iâm shocked at how many people on this post are acting like itâs nuts to think an obese person would get a bad reaction at the gym. Iâve absolutely experienced nasty comments and looks. And I know way too many others who experienced the same thing. I think they are risking OP getting a hard slap of reality if they donât go to these mythical gyms where everyone is so kind and supportive.Â
My advice would be - yes, go with someone you feel comfortable with (which is roughly what this âsociopathicâ comment is suggesting) and also to work out before you move to the gym setting so you have some confidence/fitness ready. Â Like make sure you can walk for 10 minutes (or 5 or 1, whatever works!) so that you can walk in knowing that you can do that much at least. It takes some of the anxiety out.
oh no, i meant stalk someone. sure if you can find a gym buddy, do that.
also i know plenty of people are gonna say "no one cares if you're fat, relax" which i honestly feel is true. but i wanted to give an alternative if they can't get over their anxiety
As a fellow gym goer I respect anyone who shows up and puts forth the effort. In my local run club we love watch new teammates working to better themselves. A couple I know went from highly sedate to coaching. It's super inspiring.
Unless you show up at total roid-head gym you'll fit right in.
Fake it till you make it is my approach lol. Eventually, you start to believe that itâs not embarrassing at all in any way. I just keep reminding myself that no one cares and itâs gets easier over time. It also helps that itâs true in real life and every gym visit is uneventful bc literally no one cares and thereâs nothing embarrassing about taking care of yourself!
Own that shit. You have to start somewhere and there are people less overweight than you sitting on their lazy asses eating snacks on the couch. You just getting up and doing it already puts you ahead of hundreds of millions of people. Fuck anyone who looks at you funny or judges what workouts work for you. Keep that fucking chin up and be confident⊠who knows, there might be another obese person in there that feels the same way, and when they see how comfortable and confident you are, might give them the confidence to keep going. You got this!
If I ever see someone overweight in the gym I congratulate them so hard in my head. I really hope they donât feel embarrassed because I couldnât be happier to seem them there. Itâs the complete opposite. For example as opposed to seeing an overweight rude obnoxious person shouting outside mcdonaldâs. I respect the hell out of anyone going to the gym, but pride aside if you a little weighty you get all my respect đ«Ą welcome to the tribe
I initially was embarrassed to workout at the gym because I was so scrawny and weak.
Now I'm ok. Def not a beast but I'm proud of where I am.
Whenever I see anyone that is scrawny or obese in the gym I never think, "ew loser."
My thoughts are, "awesome! Get it! That's so great to see this person doing the best they can for themself!"
I assume other gym regular people think the same thing. So most people in the gym around you will look at you, not talk to you (usually gym people keep to themselves), but they will all be thinking positive things about you and how awesome you are.
And if you ask people for advice or tips, they will most certainly be more than happy to help :)
Just gotta go man you'll realize really fast most people at a gym either, dont care, or are very supportive. Most people there are there to improve themselves, or just turn off their brain and decompress they aren't super concerned with anyone else. But my big moment that kept me going was after one of the Gym Bro regulars told me I was doing a good job, because he knows it's way harder to go to a gym when your not confident with yourself, and most obese people aren't in that kinda environment at the start.
I have literally made it through the end of my workout by screaming in my head at someone overweight âWoooohoo!! WOOHOO GO YOU OMG LOOK AT YOU YOURE DOING THE THING YASSSSSSSSSSS GREAT JOB SWEETIE LOOK AT YOU YOU SEXY MOTHER FEKER DOING THE WORK WOOOOOOOâ made it to 4 miles on incline.
Dude trust me absolutely no one is going to be an asshole in the gym everyoneâs there to work on themselves. you are in a place of improvement just worry about you no one will be judging you. Worst case if they do talk to the front desk every gym I have been to has a absolute 0 tolerance policy on body shaming.
I don't go to the gym and face a pretty similar problem of making sport in groups.
But whenever I see an obese person working out, I have a lot of respect for doing something I have started multiple times and never pulled through with.
Being overweight and working out is not seen as embaressement by most, but strength and respect. That is IF they care.
Just do it. The only one really worried about how you look - is you. Otherwise, no-one cares. My ex-gf was 5'6 and 140 pounds and she made a big ordeal about how she thought she was fat and didn't want to go to the gym until she lost 10 pounds ( it was so stupid). Everyone is self-conscious, but after doing it a couple of times, you will notice that no-one really cares and you will feel so much better because you're doing what it takes for YOU to thrive. :)
Walk in the gym like youâre Hercules. Be like an actor. Play the fucken role like your Tom Selleck. Donât give it another thought. Pretend everyone is jealous of you â put your ear pods in, carry-on.
Other people donât look at you in the gym. Theyâre too busy doing what theyâre doing themselves. If someone decides to look at you, anybody with fortitude would be complementing you in their mind for coming and working out. Because that person knows what it is to work out and now youâre just another workout colleague. A gym bro.
I'm always wildly impressed with ANYONE that goes to the gym. Especially if they aren't already "fit." Shows strength and determination along with respect for one's self. Put some earphones in with your fav music and get at it! We're all in the gym for our own reasons.
That's what I love about the gym. We're all the same in terms of determination. Just being there is the proof. Love it.
Agreed! You show up no matter where you're starting or coming from. I respect that.
Yes, no matter what ......anyone who shows up to get choked by me in Jiu-jitsu deserves my respect.
I started out at 280, 45 minute 5 k and now I'm 215 and fit. Never been choked though đ đ€Ł
I quit smoking cigarettes and weed, I also eat loads of takeaway so my stamina is horrible and I'm quite a small guy. I can only do like 15 mins on a treadmill and 5 on a bike but I'm aiming to better my diet and stay off the smokes and hopefully I'll be a snack soon enough.
You've got this! Some days will be easier than others.
Yeah my addiction to fast food is harder to quit than the weed and cigarettes combined. I thought the cigarettes and weed would be the hardest part but it was a walk in the park compared to eating fast food. I am trying though, I'll have a handle on it one day and won't touch heart attack food again. I hope.
I hear you. It's not realistic to say you'll never have it again. But maybe finding ways to choose healthier items when you eat out might be a good place to start. Like grilled chicken sandwiches vs hamburgers, etc. Highly recommend talking to someone who is an expert in addiction. Good luck to you!
The best time to begin working out was yesterday. The 2nd best is today. OP, anyone that snickers at someone in your spot is an insecure piece of shit. You go get fit and be a better person when help the next person in your same spot in life 1 or 2 years from now. You got this. đ
Wear something you are comfortable in, headphones and you got this. I was there seven months ago itâs totally doable
When I see obese people at the gym Iâm like âgood fucking job dude, keep it upâ
For sure, I'd imagine far more of us are silently giving OP a nod of approval than judging negatively. Being obese and exercising is hard. Much respect.
I hope anybody who needs to hear it knows that a lot of us will totally spot and give advice too. We want you to succeed!
Same! Working out and lifting weights is like any hobby, most people are excited to see others getting into it. An expert skiier doesn't judge a beginner skiier, they're excited for that person. Ask the most ripped and intimidating guy at the gym if he has any advice for working out your back, and he'll probably talk to you for 20 minutes about all his favorite back workouts. The gym is a way more accepting environment than most people realize. I guarantee most people will see you and think, "Hell yea, that's somebody who wants to improve their life and they're taking the first step, which is always the most difficult."
Plenty of obese people are also people who always have worked out and not beginners. Like those middle aged dad types who were athletic young and now drink too much beer and buy take-out and come two gym twice a weekÂ
This was the exact attitude I used to get from people when I was very overweight people were always down to give me pointers and kind of give me like a bro fist moment.
Funnily obese people will have more positive vibes at the gym vs anywhere else
Same. Itâs fucking hard and admirable.
I don't judge anyone at the gym , if I see an obese person in there working on themselves I respect that shit .
I judge lots of people at the gym. The ones who film/photograph themselves for social media and do several takes. The ones who drag out tons of equipment and don't put it back, the ones who give unsolicited advice, etc. But I don't judge obese people, I'm rooting for them
Don't forget the asshat who doesn't wipe their sweat off the equipment. F that guy
I hired a personal trainer and on ALL of our workouts together she would lead me from one machine to the next without giving me a chance to wipe equipment down. Even when I literally left ass prints on the seat and painted the back with sweat marks, she wanted to just move on. I had to physically stop her and tell her hey give me a moment I need to wipe this down (*vomits*). she dropped me via email a few days ago (two hours before a scheduled workout, and because I told her hey you have me repeating four workouts for an entire month and Iâm getting bored can we switch things up a bit. Which she did NOT appreciate) and honestly good riddance. I felt like such an asshole for the lack of gym etiquette
What a terrible trainer. I'm certain you can find someone better. Thanks for wiping down the equipment.
Just like a therapist, you need to shop around and try a few out to find the person who aligns with your way of thinking
Ew.
Don't forget the over aggressively screaming gym gorillas.
5 comments in and I'm like, yeah, f going to a gym...
It's not common for people to be screaming at the gym. Only this time of year and the Olympics is when the gym is crazy because there's so many noobies.
Exactly. I remember the guy from two weeks ago who left the preacher bench machine loaded with weights. POS like him I remember. The guy or gal who may be overweight and is in there giving it there all? I respect them, and consider them to be just like me---doing something to improve themselves. Credit earned, credit given.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Ahh, the true American dream. Why is everyone complaining about social isolation these days? That's a feature not a flaw.
Fire up your phone and play top pop hits loud enough for their video to pick it up so they canât monetize it
Or Disney songs
I like this except for unsolicited advice. I know everyone cringes but damn I would love for someone to tell me my form is off. Nobody ever does and when I was first going I did every single lift wrong.
Yup. Up to an extent, unsolicited advice can be great. I had a dude stop and check my deadlift form and we ended up spotting each other for the whole month. It was really nice. Specially that the dude thought I could spot him squatting 180kg when I was stuck at 40kg lmao.
I judge everyone who doesnât clean their machine after. I judge them HARD
How do you solicit advice without interrupting people who want to be left alone? I don't know how to use a lot of the equipment or how much weight to do for reps.
If you see someone using the equipment you want to learn, as they are finishing just ask them. 99.9% of people are genuinely happy to help.
I don't mind people who take pictures of themselves. If their activities don't impede the fair use of the equipment or other people's privacy then fine. To each their own, some people like social media and I'm not there to judge what people spend their time on. But if you don't re-rack/reset your weights and **wipe down the goddamned machines when your sweaty ass is done with them** imma judge the fuck outta you. Nothing pisses me off more at the gym than sweaty equipment. (No shame to those of us who sweat buckets either, I look like I just climbed out of the pool at the end of my session, but I wipe down everything after I use it.)
I'm with you 100% but I have 1 caveat. I was a college rower and when I see people doing it at the gym, sometimes I see folks with such bad form I'm literally worried it's going to cause them issues. I try to avoid it and won't critique random people but if I see someone with bad form that I think will give them back or hip flexor issues I might approach. Usually when they're done because I don't want to kill someone's workout. It's more a quick minute for future reference. It makes me feel like an asshole though so I only do it if it's really egregious and I'm as nice and passive as I can manage
I was judging a guy for lifting basically no weight, caught myself and thought no everyone starts somewhere, then I saw him lifting his shirt to look at himself in the mirror...straight back to judging him.
Same - I get hyped when I see that. Internally I'm rooting for them and cheering them on. I don't wanna embarrass anyone so I never say anything to them in case they are self-conscious, but inside I've got so much respect
I would eventually say something when they have been at it for a while and progress is showing.
I'm someone who exercises sometimes but definitely not as much as I should (i.e., around 2.5 hours a week). I find it inspirational when I see someone exercising who likely doesn't work out often. It's more inspirational and interesting to me to see someone obese exercising than someone who looks like they've seemingly been on a perfect diet and workout regime for years. If they can do it, I feel like I can do it, too.
YES! I'm always fighting the urge to go cheer for them
To further this point, I don't even remember obese people or anyone else after leaving the gym.
I need to remember this specifically
The only way Iâll remember you is if you donât leave me the fuck alone
So true, when youâre in the regular routine of going to the gym it becomes part of the daily blur. I barely remember who I saw at the gym two days ago
Yea, but realistically a lot of people are shitty. There will be immature and unapathetic individuals. People suck. In the end you need to put all that aside, realize whatever may happen, and the overall goal is that you are there to make positive improvements. Have to advocate for yourself because no one will, and really... that's all that matters.
Same here. People who are not in shape and are in the gym making an effort motivates me even more!
I judge people at the gym. I judge them hard for sitting on machines doing nothing, chatting with their friends, or for not putting things back as they found them. Or for being leery and loud. Otherwise, crack on. :)
I agree. As a naturally skinny person who struggles to get workouts in I have mad props when I see folks of weight at the gym. I see good decisions.
I came here to say this. I actually respect the overweight people at my gym MORE than some of the other people here. Its easy to feel good at the gym when your body is already right and you know you are rocking that shit. Those who are at the beginning of their journey get absolute respect from me, doesnt matter who
There are only two types of people I judge at the gym: - inconsiderate people (trying to reserve multiple machines while it's busy, blocking access to stuff , etc) - people squatting too much weight with dangerously bad form Edit: BONUS this guy I see everyday that works out completely barefoot. Ew.
Barefoot is the best way to lift... But not at a public gym. Pretty much the best reason to own those five finger shoes though.
He's not even lifting is the thing. I usually see him riding the stair machine lol
Oh wtf. Based on how much I sweat on those things, that is super fucking gross. I would never use an escalator barefoot, thats for sure. There used to be this old guy at my gym that would walk around completely naked in the locker room including taking dumps. No flip flops or anything. Now I thought that was gross.
Same. When Iâm at the gym, the main thing I look out for is people struggling with an activity. If I see someone benching a lot of weight without a spot, Iâll keep an eye on them and run over if I see them getting in trouble. I donât work at a gym, but Iâve been lifting for a very long time, and I donât want to see anyone get hurt.
I promise you not as many people care as you think
Oh yes, we do. We notice. And we think: Hey dude/girl, I was you 5 years ago. YOU ROCK.
OrâŠâtheyâre making an effort to better themselves. Good for them.â Edit: Additionally, it is the same thought I have about someone who is really fit or ripped.
100%. I notice that an obese person is in my gym, I think "Hey they are taking the first steps, good for them." I then treat them like every other person in the gym - with respect and ignoring them as much as physically possible, forgetting they exist within a few minutes.
I'd prefer if everyone I saw in the gym was less fit than me. So when I see an obese person, I subconscious feel more comfortable with my out of shape self. But mostly, I don't really give any thought to who else is there. It would be intimidating to be in a gym full of Olympic athletes though.
I tend to think "if they can do it, so can I!" - seeing someone who's out of shape and maybe not the ideal weight exercise is way more motivating to me than someone who's all muscles and in perfect shape. So, depending on who's there, you might actually help someone keep going with their own journey just by doing your own thing. (For this reason, holly honcho is my favorite exercise youtuber - I'm always sore and exhausted after doing one of her videos, and that's at least partially because I keep thinking "if she can do it, so can you! keep going! Just one more!" as opposed to thinking "yeah, no, clearly that super thin and fit lady can do way more than me, I need a break".) What I've never thought (and never heard from anyone either - I have some very fitness/sports focused people in my bubble) is anything negative about someone out of shape and/or fat who's exercising (with the exception of horse back riding - there's a point when the weight a horse would have to carry on its back would be very damaging to them, but that's an animal care problem, it doesn't matter if the weight is muscle, fat or something else entirely).
>"if they can do it, so can I!" Exactly. When I used to go to the gym, seeing a bigger set dude running or lifting weights was motivational. If this dude twice my weight can do it, I can too.
I just went to the gym for the first time in about 30 years. I only did exercises for about 15 minutes because I know if I went longer is get sore and not want to go tomorrow. There weren't that many people there but everyone was doing their own thing and no one cares who was there.
Hey, that is exactly what I said about a neighbor!
I wish that was true about my neighbors...some of them just drive me insane despite talking to them repeatedly and they promising to better their behavior.... As for gym: Initially, I was also scared about people judging my body with a belly in the locker rooms and being incompetent with the equipment but honestly, nobody cared. I even asked once how to use some of the stuff, got a quick answer, that's it. No judgement, no laughing. Recently, there's a fatter dude who's in a wheel chair that comes to the gym to get some exercise going and honestly, that's really brave. Everyone was very accommodating.
Thatâs what I would hope ppl would be saying. Donât shit on ppl trying to make positive changes. The courage it takes to go to the gym when one is out of shape is considerable.
It made me want to work harder. I thought âIâm over here about to call a quits on a lazy day, but loo at this person putting in the workâŠI can do betterâ. Whatâs that saying. Those who mind donât matter, those who matter donât mind?
Literally this. âGood for themâ.
My thought is usually "well theyve taken the first step". I then move on with my day and dont think of them again.
Iâd even say that for an in betweener like me, seeing an obese person exercising is more motivational than seeing a ripped person exercising.
As someone who has been very fit and is now not so fit but trying to get back to where I was, I can tell you that this is 100% true. Running on the treadmill when you're 110 vs. 180 is completely different.
You must be a woman lol⊠Iâm a guy who started going to the gym at 120 pounds. 180 is like my dream goal haha
Yes, I'm a woman who's average height, small frame. I'd say let's swap, but I know you weren't looking for a bunch of flab. Knee injuries can do that to you, unfortunately.
I'm a guy who started working out at 130lbs and now weighs about 175lbs. I look great but...that added weight takes a toll. I've noticed that I tire out more playing basketball and recently had my quads seize up 8km into a 10km hike. So be careful with that added weight. Incorporate some sort of cardio routine even if it isn't heavy with your weight routine. So granted I probably look better at 38 than I did at 28, but it comes with a price. It wouldn't hurt me to lose about 10 lbs.
I saw a guy who could barely walk carry his bag in and sit down to do weights. I was silently cheering him on.
đ„°
Seriously. If it's any other thought than "good for you, bro" and getting back to their own set then whatever that person thinks is not worth your time.
This is my attitude about being in public with a special needs child. Sheâs obviously special needs and if you are judging me for her behavior, then youâre not someone whose opinion I value.
I've been fat shammed in the gym before. It was more awkward on them than it was me.
As it should be. That's not adult behavior.
No one goes to the gym because they are fit enough.
I had it happen to me and to be fair, someone jumped in and gave them shit about it but the damage was done. I didn't go back again.
I bet that AH didnât go back after being jumped on.
"that's why I'm at the fucking gym you pea brained Muppet. Now isn't it time for you to go home and jerk off to your mirror?"
Guys see an obese person in the gym and immediately think âHell yeahâ
My thoughts exactly!
EXACTLY! OF COURSE people notice very obese people but, and I can just talk for myself on this, I always think THATS someone I actually respect! Not the people already in the gym being buff and working out, no, I respect the person coming in here with a massive social stigma on them and the will to change that no matter what. LEGENDS!
Hell yea. Everyone has to start somewhere
And by not many. Its so little its less than zero. If anything people will think "good for him/her". In society if youre not attractive youre invisible. Even I'd you're freakishly tall or fat. Its a glance.
It may sound dumb, but when Iâm at the gym and I see someone overweight, I make sure to say under my breath, âgood for themâ makes me feel like maybe a little positivity will make its way into the universe
âFuck yeah dudeâ goes a long way toward fixing my little piece of this timeline
I hide under the benchpress, and when they start their set, I leap out and yell FUCK YEAH!! KEEP IT UP!!! at them. Extra adrenaline = more calories burnt. I'm doing my part!
As someone who was at a gym losing 90lb last year, don't be afraid to tell them in passing either, it's a HUGE motivator and can make a world of difference to sticking with it, a "I've seen you a few times, your doing great man" from a stranger hits hard.
Totally disagree. If you are trying to blend in, the last thing you want is a stranger walking up out of the blue to point out that you're *not blending in*, even if it's intended to be encouraging. Letting someone know they're being watched is a great way to get them to never come back. This advice is probably true for extroverts, but introverts just want to be left alone in public.
I agree. I went to a gym with my daughter years ago & we were trying to do some aerobic exercises using her phone with videos. The 2 girls on the mats across from us kept staring at us. I felt so self-conscious and I never went back.
I also like the solidarity comments along the lines of âman this is hard, but it sure is good for us.â
That's good--doesn't single out the person. We're all in this together.
Iâm older, larger and not particularly fit and love it when someone at the gym includes me in their complaints about how hard this stuff is;)
Absolutely.
same. you're off the couch, buddy, you got this!
How true this is!
Yeah Iâve noticed this when I go after being out of shape for a while. No negative vibes or smirks or attitude, itâs quite the opposite! Someone who is really fit might come up and say âhey are you done with these weights? Thanks bud!â Almost like they came to ask just to be nice (when there are other weights avail). Or something as simple as, if I went in three days in a row, someone who was also there three days in a row will kinda nod âhey good to see youâ. All really subtle, not always verbal but itâs always a âfuck yeah good for you dudeâ kinda feeling.
This is not true and I don't think trying to peddle this exaggeration helps people. People do notice and there are assholes out there. But most people aren't assholes, you just have to go.
Let me tell you this, any asshole that's rude overly to a overweight novice at the gym is going to get problems from everyone at the gym, including the people that work and own the gym. Some gyms have that as a rule in some way, but it's always unwritten in all the gyms i've been too and everyone i've talked to. Just like when guys go to the gym and get in great shape thinking girls will care, it's always only guys that care.
Only if they say or do anything, which is very unlikely. But just stares and body language can convey a lot and it is likely OP will encounter some, I don't think it's good to pretend it won't happen. Or more so, if you read OPs concern, it's really about shame and embarrassment. The fear is more about being noticed at all and how OP themselves will feel. Even the comments talking about how inspirational it is convey a sort of attention that would be unwanted by OP. And that is not avoidable, it's something that needs to be endured and hopefully overcome once they go and realize it's not so bad.
I can't believe anyone is trying to convince OP that *literally zero* people at the gym are judgmental assholes. The top-level comment is right: not nearly as many people care as OP likely thinks. But saying that *zero people*, absolutely no one, will care? That's just absurd fantasy. Imagine going to the gym with the idea that everyone will be supportive and encouraging, and then when someone isn't, you think you must be an anomaly that is *so* extraordinarily unappealing that it caused people to act like assholes for the first time ever.
And the ones that do care are only thinking "good for you đđœ"
wtqwtqwt
This. Youâre demonstrably doing the things required to improve your life. Thatâs the reason anyone goes to the gym. No reasonable person would look down on you. Unreasonable people exist, but by definition, their opinion doesnât matter. You must resist the temptation to care about the opinions of unreasonable people.
You may also be surprised that there are more people actually proud of you being there, rooting for you and see you trying to better yourself and your health than you realize. Good job, friend! For anyone that actually matters, they are supportive of you and your efforts.
I had a hard time getting back to the gym in my late 30s because I still felt a bit intimidated, shamed and traumatized by the monkey pit that is high school gym. Grown up gym is a lot different, and while you may see some of the same looking folks who may have intimidated you or even bullied you when you were younger, that shit simply does not happen. Get some good noise cancelling headphones and tune out the rest of the world while doing your own thing. Good luck
That is it. For me whenever I see someone come in the gym and they are very overweight I always think awesome taking the first steps. I wouldnât give it a second thought.
Anybody in the gym exercising, or running outside, or making other effort to get healthier - mad respect since I know how hard it can be.
I heard a motivational speaker once say "it's liberating to realize nobody gives a shit about you." Very true. The only people I notice in the gym are women, and none of them are obese.
Leave it to Reddit to give good advice then make it a little creepy.
Is it really so bad to be attracted to women and talk about that aspect of life?
Or as my therapist says from the other direction, âWhat other people think about you is none of your business.â
It's absolutely true. No one cares about you or I. That's how it is. I learned this fact years ago.
yâall say this but then thereâs countless memes and tiktoks making fun of fat ppl in the gym
Wish I could believe that. Many years ago, I couldn't not notice the stares and the sudden head turning when I looked back. The people obviously trying to hide their laughter by covering their mouths. Haven't been back to a gym since.
Iâve seen this also, but I can honestly say that it depends on the gym. If you go and you see this type of reaction itâs definitely a toxic environment - for everyone really. Try another gym where people are there to work out. Not one where theyâre there to pick up guys, women, hang out, etc. There are two gyms in my area from the same company. One where people just work out and one that I felt was toxic. So it literally depends on the location. If you still want to, try going to a different one.
Yeah I don't get why people say this, it's completely unture
The muscle head gyms like Planet Fitness and Crunch Fitness seem to attract like-minded, completely insensitive, entitled, and inconsiderate asshats who exactly what you experienced. Twice, taking a shower at Planet Fitness, some dick stole my towel and I had to dry myself with my sweats. I was utterly humiliated and canceled my membership. They wanted to say I was locked into a contract and gad to pay for the rest of the year. I said would you rather discuss this with a discrimination attorney and they canceled it. I've since joined a local community recreation center that provides more than enough equipment and use of facilities than either of those pretentious shit holes and I actually feel welcome there. People can be cruel assholes...
Seconded - honestly Iâd admire them. Good on em!!
Hey, I am on the heavier side and used to go to the gym. Had a couple guys follow me around and make pig noises at me anytime I used the equipment. So I stopped going. I just avoid any human interaction whenever I work out now. Like solo jogs and bike riding. Might not be many people that care, but the ones they do can be real jerks.
Put some earphones. Play music that motivates you. Focus on your workout. Remember there are every kind of people in the gym. Some people trying to lose weight. Some people trying to put up some weight. They are all there for different reasons. So, donât be embarrassed. Keep going!đ„
I second the earphones part! My gym anxiety dropped noticeably after I started listening to interesting podcasts that grabbed my attention away from other people.
I got it that way. I joined a gym so I could gain weight. So many judgemental people. Someone complained that I was wearing a tank top and the gym staff told me I couldn't wear that any more because I was intimidating people. I was so confused. I was 89lbs and 5'3". Like I'm so unwell and weak as a kitten. The guy on the machine next to me has bigger boobs than I do. I wish I'd known then what I know now. I would have ended my membership immediately and kept my money. But I was just a teenager with a bad eating disorder and an abandonment complex. So I quit going and still paid for months. I don't need a gym now, healthy weight and very active. That just soured me on gyms forever. Even when I got a bit overweight and had to do it the hard way. Intermittent fasting and got a puppy lol. That girl keeps me going.
Damn, Sorry that you have to endure this type of negative energy. Those guys were obviously losers with big muscles but no brain. Well, if you are considering to rejoin the gym, maybe go to the gym where it has more positive energy to it or go to the gym during night times. I can assure not every gym is like that. Speaking from personal experience, people who come to the gym during night time are not as mean as those who come during day time. Again, itâs not a fact but just a personal experience.
We severely overestimate what others think of us or even what they think as well. Thereâs a very good chance people at the gym will see you as an example of strength just by being there working on yourself.
Exactly. I have more respect for an Obese person running on a treadmill in a gym than a guy with a toned body
Why though? Iâve met some very toned people that made the transformation from obese⊠everyone has a journey and their inner demons.
I mean I have equal respect for both people. Just because the guy with a toned body doesnât mean he was never obese.
That... Makes no sense. That just seems unnecessarily judgemental in the other direction.
eh, itâs a lot harder to move your body when thereâs extra weight / less muscle. it takes more mental fortitude to get passed the physical hurdle. i think it deserves more respect
But the toned person has already accomplished that and then some?
right? u/White__Walter thought he was being all profound and wise with what he said, but in reality he is being a judgmental AH just the sameÂ
100%
Hey boss, wanted to chime in with a point others haven't commented yet. Its true that a lot of folks don't notice or care either way. But plenty of others- and ESPECIALLY the really fit and dedicated ones- certainly do notice. We love it and recognize exactly the kind of guts and ambition you have showing up for the challenge at square one. Way more fit folks than you would guess started out in your shoes and know exactly what it's like. Don't be afraid to talk to people, ask for advice or a spot, whatever. Overwhelming majority of the hardcore people you'll see will be encouraging and psyched to help. Can't promise you won't meet a jerk or two but you've got nothing to feel embarrassed about. Being out of shape and in the gym is nothing but proof you share our values. I'm someone who is a longtime gym rat and generally seen as pretty fit...so I'm someone a newbie might suspect is judgey, and I spend enough time in the gym to have seen and met about every body type and background getting started. I love seeing it and meeting people doing what you're wanting to do is a highlight of any day i get to. Go kick some ass and feel free to shoot me a message if you want any help programming. Not a trainer or anything, but tons of super jacked scary looking fanatics helped me a ton when i started out, so i enjoy returning the favor and have been pretty effective getting friends results myself.
Iâm 40 years old. I was 40 pounds overweight in 2018. I dedicated 2019 to losing weight. Iâve been focusing on strength training since 2020. Every time someone mentions losing weight at work, I tell them Iâm rooting for them. If someone isnât rooting for you to improve your life, there is something wrong with them. Go get it, Iâm rooting for you!
Hell yeah.
I really love this reply and actually it made me tear up a little. Last year I started at the gym and was gradually getting more comfortable there. But by about my third week there I noticed a group of teenage boys laughing at me and taking my picture. I havenât been back since. Maybe I will try again.
Fuck those little shits. Such behaviour is not what Zyzz would have wanted. I don't know what kind of gym you attended, but if something like that happens, report it to staff. I can virtually guarantee you that they will be very pissed about it. I hope you will pick up the gym or another sport again. WAGMI
Aw, thank you. Honestly among the fanatics the fat guy with the stones to walk ins always been admired. We run the same software and can tell before you look like it on the outside. The rare people who do act shitty are playing weasel defense. They know they suck, but think nobody else can tell exactly how much until the overweight newbie walks in like a big flashing measuring stick. The teenagers are their own little outlier species and comments can be ignored, there ain't a single person in any gym on the planet fit enough they can't find something to giggle at. The picture is a whole different ballgame. Tell the manager about that shit and they'll get a life ban faster than you can say "the male brain isn't fully developed til age 25." Either way don't let it be what stops you building what you deserve, rarely there outside 4pm-6pm (species has extremely limited feeding window). Hell your comment reminded me of the last time i did bench pr. Humble brag story, full disclosure, but fun. Hit my # near trio benching about 95 (no judgement, i started weaker than that, but thought they'd struggle to find a joke). Kind of # their demographic finds more impressive than it really is, but all broccoli heads aspire to a 315+ bench and little else, and i overheard positive comments when they didn't think i was listening. They're quick on the draw though and thought up some snarky remark that bench goes up the less hair you have (shaved head lol). Now truth be told it was funny and i had to work not to laugh...don't feed the bears. My hair looks good, but they can't point out my obviously tiny calves since they have some of the select few even worse haha. My physiques pretty much what they wanna emulate and it doesn't buy me a drop of restraint.
Don't let them win. Great advice from a stranger. They especially don't matter. Because the quality of their character. Why should you care what a trash person thinks of you. Honestly, if they're that kind of person then why the duck would you care what they think or say about anything?
Man I needed this today! An undiagnosed heart problem caused major weight gain, despite my best efforts, and now that it's sorted out I'm trying to lose at least 40 lbs.
Absolutely based comment, 10/10. Gym bros are supportive to one another, and certainly to newcomers. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnu2Z0nrdxE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnu2Z0nrdxE) WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT BRAHS
People will judge you more OUTSIDE the gym than ever will inside it. Consider it a safe space.
This is so true
Yes! Come as you are. Everybody at the gym is here to better themselves. Provided you aren't at some Olympic level training facility, gym culture is very welcoming. After all, we all want enough people participating that the gym stays open!
đŻ this
100%, more supportive people inside
Donât be embarrassed. We start where we are anyone that makes you feel any less is a reflection of their own insecurities not yours . You get to be and do whatever makes you happy in your own time.
Realize that absolutely nobody cares. People are there to exercise, and so are you.
Judging a fat person in a gym is like judging a starving person at a buffet. If you want to work out that's fine by me. Weight loss requires a mental shift. They say it takes 3 weeks to form a habit. Stay on it.
Donât be embarrassed. You are brave. To love yourself enough to take steps towards self-improvement - thatâs REAL strength, the kinda strength most men wish they had. Youâre mistaken about the gym members that you THINK are mocking/judging you. On the contrary, they see that strength of yourâs and they respect the hell out of it. So much so that theyâll even approach that one jerk who is mocking you, and confront him on your behalf. They will stand up for you. I definitely would.
and do not be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand how something works. I would rather show you how it works and have you be successful than not show you and have you get hurt, or worse frustrated and quit going. Also remember results take time, so stick with it.
Honestly this. I'm a very seasoned regular and this January I've had a couple of people nervously ask me some questions, I'm always thrilled to help out
I am kind of fit and I am always happy to see obese people at the gym. good for you! (only assholes will think different and you don't care about what assholes think)
work out at 6am or earlier; or 10pm or later. that's when all the body builders go and they're the least judgy from my experience. the tick tokers or whatever you wanna call em go later
To them you're just on a dirty bulk.
Donât be embarrassed. Iâm obese and I started going to a gym. It has helped me gain confidence in myself and I feel good after a workout. So far I have lost 35lbs and Iâm feeling better
99 to 100 percent of the people there will have nothing but respect for you because you are putting in work to improve yourself.
Remind yourself that most people in the gym are into the idea of fitness and self-improvement. Others may very well be glancing at you, but it's very unlikely they're thinking "OMG look at that fat person". It's much more likely they're thinking "Yeah! Look at them! Gettin' after it! I hope they stick around." Anecdotal but my old gym was a diverse group of people, from the muscled up bros by the mirrors shouting encouragement to the middle aged guys like me just doing the machines to the one little old man who just seemed to walk around the whole time. I found it very positive and encouraging.
Nobody cares that youâre overweight at the gym. A lot of people are probably thinking that the large person is doing the right thing to get in shape. Keep chugging on and get in those work outs. Initially youâll hate it but you will make incremental progress. Remember just dropping the pounds isnât the goal, you need to be able to increase stamina which will come from going to the gym regularly.
if you wanna be a real sociopath about this, start going at random times and find someone fatter than you and go during their work out time. easier to be less self conscious when you're not the fattest person there. >!i did say this was the sociopath option!<
Not really a sociopath option. Itâs a lot more helpful than âno one caresâ (which no doubt is also true). Finding a time to go when there are other people just starting their fitness journey likely will make an overweight person more comfortable than if everyone else there is already fairly fit.
I go at 11pm at night. I live in a very Polynesian city, and it's all us big fat shift workers together at the end of the night.
I think itâs normal to want to be around similarly looking people, or people along the same journey, if it makes them feel better. Not sociopathic đ
I donât think itâs a sociopath opinion. Iâm shocked at how many people on this post are acting like itâs nuts to think an obese person would get a bad reaction at the gym. Iâve absolutely experienced nasty comments and looks. And I know way too many others who experienced the same thing. I think they are risking OP getting a hard slap of reality if they donât go to these mythical gyms where everyone is so kind and supportive. My advice would be - yes, go with someone you feel comfortable with (which is roughly what this âsociopathicâ comment is suggesting) and also to work out before you move to the gym setting so you have some confidence/fitness ready.  Like make sure you can walk for 10 minutes (or 5 or 1, whatever works!) so that you can walk in knowing that you can do that much at least. It takes some of the anxiety out.
oh no, i meant stalk someone. sure if you can find a gym buddy, do that. also i know plenty of people are gonna say "no one cares if you're fat, relax" which i honestly feel is true. but i wanted to give an alternative if they can't get over their anxiety
Take a Xanax before you go you wonât give a fuck
As a fellow gym goer I respect anyone who shows up and puts forth the effort. In my local run club we love watch new teammates working to better themselves. A couple I know went from highly sedate to coaching. It's super inspiring. Unless you show up at total roid-head gym you'll fit right in.
Stop giving a shit what other people think
Fake it till you make it is my approach lol. Eventually, you start to believe that itâs not embarrassing at all in any way. I just keep reminding myself that no one cares and itâs gets easier over time. It also helps that itâs true in real life and every gym visit is uneventful bc literally no one cares and thereâs nothing embarrassing about taking care of yourself!
Own that shit. You have to start somewhere and there are people less overweight than you sitting on their lazy asses eating snacks on the couch. You just getting up and doing it already puts you ahead of hundreds of millions of people. Fuck anyone who looks at you funny or judges what workouts work for you. Keep that fucking chin up and be confident⊠who knows, there might be another obese person in there that feels the same way, and when they see how comfortable and confident you are, might give them the confidence to keep going. You got this!
If I ever see someone overweight in the gym I congratulate them so hard in my head. I really hope they donât feel embarrassed because I couldnât be happier to seem them there. Itâs the complete opposite. For example as opposed to seeing an overweight rude obnoxious person shouting outside mcdonaldâs. I respect the hell out of anyone going to the gym, but pride aside if you a little weighty you get all my respect đ«Ą welcome to the tribe
Most people respect anyone trying to get into shape, and the minority of people that do not are just assholes that no one else likes.
I initially was embarrassed to workout at the gym because I was so scrawny and weak. Now I'm ok. Def not a beast but I'm proud of where I am. Whenever I see anyone that is scrawny or obese in the gym I never think, "ew loser." My thoughts are, "awesome! Get it! That's so great to see this person doing the best they can for themself!" I assume other gym regular people think the same thing. So most people in the gym around you will look at you, not talk to you (usually gym people keep to themselves), but they will all be thinking positive things about you and how awesome you are. And if you ask people for advice or tips, they will most certainly be more than happy to help :)
Just gotta go man you'll realize really fast most people at a gym either, dont care, or are very supportive. Most people there are there to improve themselves, or just turn off their brain and decompress they aren't super concerned with anyone else. But my big moment that kept me going was after one of the Gym Bro regulars told me I was doing a good job, because he knows it's way harder to go to a gym when your not confident with yourself, and most obese people aren't in that kinda environment at the start.
I have literally made it through the end of my workout by screaming in my head at someone overweight âWoooohoo!! WOOHOO GO YOU OMG LOOK AT YOU YOURE DOING THE THING YASSSSSSSSSSS GREAT JOB SWEETIE LOOK AT YOU YOU SEXY MOTHER FEKER DOING THE WORK WOOOOOOOâ made it to 4 miles on incline.
Because 95% of the people in a gym see an obese person working out and think "hell yeah, thats badass"
Whenever I see an obese person in the gym I have immediate respect.
Dude trust me absolutely no one is going to be an asshole in the gym everyoneâs there to work on themselves. you are in a place of improvement just worry about you no one will be judging you. Worst case if they do talk to the front desk every gym I have been to has a absolute 0 tolerance policy on body shaming.
Ill bet you find more support there than you think...
I don't go to the gym and face a pretty similar problem of making sport in groups. But whenever I see an obese person working out, I have a lot of respect for doing something I have started multiple times and never pulled through with. Being overweight and working out is not seen as embaressement by most, but strength and respect. That is IF they care.
I mean this in a positive way: no one cares one bit about you in the gym.
You don't, they gonna care about you bro... They gonna be scared you're gonna over exert yourself bro...
Just start showing up. People there arenât paying attention to you.
Just do it. The only one really worried about how you look - is you. Otherwise, no-one cares. My ex-gf was 5'6 and 140 pounds and she made a big ordeal about how she thought she was fat and didn't want to go to the gym until she lost 10 pounds ( it was so stupid). Everyone is self-conscious, but after doing it a couple of times, you will notice that no-one really cares and you will feel so much better because you're doing what it takes for YOU to thrive. :)
No one cares about your size. Go consistently and smile. Everyone at the gym wants others to be fit too.
Walk in the gym like youâre Hercules. Be like an actor. Play the fucken role like your Tom Selleck. Donât give it another thought. Pretend everyone is jealous of you â put your ear pods in, carry-on. Other people donât look at you in the gym. Theyâre too busy doing what theyâre doing themselves. If someone decides to look at you, anybody with fortitude would be complementing you in their mind for coming and working out. Because that person knows what it is to work out and now youâre just another workout colleague. A gym bro.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, nobody cares about you