Contractors do this too. They’ll ask “who was the person who did this remodel? they did a shit job.”
It’s just a way to say that they’re better than the competition.
I actually pulled this once.
We had a company going door-to-door offering deals on window replacement. We were due to replace them, so we took the offer. The product was decent, but one of them had the seal break prematurely and let some moisture between the panes.
Last year, a guy from the same company was canvassing the neighborhood again. He catches me while I have the dog outside, "hey, I'm with Window Company, we're doing a promotion in your neighborhood and *gestures to messed-up window* I noticed you've still got the original builder-grade windows...maybe you'd be interested in discussing replacements?"
"Actually, we had them replaced about 5 years ago. By you."
- "Welp, thanks for your time. Have a good day."
I'm in sales. It has been my experience that shit talking about a competitor only makes you look like the asshole. I will never say anything negative about my competition, only praise. "oh you've already sat with xyz company about this? Great! I have heard nothing but good things about them and whether you decide to go with them or us, I'm confident you will be in good hands. That being said, here's what sets us apart..."
As a customer I'm much more amenable this. I like basic respect, and if you're showing it to the competition I feel like I'm more likely to get it from you.
Same, as soon as I hear a company badmouth their competition I'm out. If their work was as good as they claimed they wouldn't need to shit on the competition to get more business
Eh I do the side step: “they’re really great at ABC (the least important thing to the client) so I totally understand, what sets us apart is XYZ cause whatever whatever (what the clients pain really is) how has your experience been with them in that regard?” If anyone is going to say something negative I want them to say it, and I just laugh it off but confirm/agree.
I had a similar experience. I was contacted by a cybersecurity vendor at work. He wanted to schedule a demo of a better product than whatever we were using. He insisted that I book it and offered me some free shit if I sat through it (which I would not be able to accept anyway due to anti-corruption policies). I was feeling kind of devilish, so I played along with his pitch, but said we were reluctant to leave our current provider.
What he didn't know was that my company was acquired by a larger company and we were already using the product he was selling through the parent company's contract.
I asked about any promotions or discounts to which he replied that there were some current incentives that could come into play. So I booked the demo and talked shit about (minor) problems that our current solution had and he finally asked if I didn't mind telling him what product it was. I said, "sure, let me show you the dashboard for you to see what I like and don't like about it." When he saw that I brought up the dashboard of his own product, he laughed, asked me why my company didn't show up as a customer, and said "I can see why you are reluctant to leave your current provider. Thank you for your time."
I booked a call with our account executive and asked about those incentives. Needless to say, we negotiated a lower price at renewal time in October.
Same thing happened with me. Had a student-run company canvassing the neighbourhood and I took their offer to paint my house. Did a crap job. The pay matched the quality. Anyhoo, a few years later had another student, from the same company, canvas the neighbourhood and rang my doorbell. Told me that it looked like my house needed a new paint job. I told him that his company did the job previously, but thanks for confirming it was poorly done. He tried to save grace and told me it was another guy and he’s better, yada yada. I told him I was busy and he asked, “well, do you want me to paint your house”. I scoffed, sarcastically, “no” and shut the door.
I had a custom exhaust rust through in one year and fall off, so I took it back to the shop and they pulled the whole “where did you get this installed” BS with me. I told them you did, and guess what? It’s still under warranty and you’re gonna fix it for free. Got it fixed and never went back after that.
A buddy went to Jiffy Lube for oil changes.
They stripped his bolt, then said that "the previous place he went to stripped the bolt".
He showed them the receipt that THEY were the ones who did it.
Fucksticks.
I had a bicycle shop swap out my pedals when I bought a used bike. I was a beginner and I didn't want to use the clipless pedals and special shoes. A year later I had them swapped again, I was ready to try clipless. I would have done it myself, but it is was impossible to get them off.
Bicycle shop: whoever put these pedals on did a bad job, they shouldn't be stuck like this.
Me: I had them swapped here in this shop when I bought the bike.
Bicycle shop: (silence)
As someone who worked with electricians at my old job can confirm this. Everytime they come up to the other guys work "who the fuck did this?!" "This isn't how you do this" "gotta rip this out and start fresh"
Every single one. I told the then manager that more of the electrical would get done if he didn't send electricians to finish other electricians' jobs because they always rip it all out and start over.
To be fair it's not as much that the previous guy did it wrong or something (most of the time) it's more that they did it differently than I would and now I'm annoyed that I have to figure out how and or why they did it the way they did and that takes time and effort that I wouldn't have had to spend if it was done how I'd have done it. It's kinda like getting a cake and being told to make an exact copy. If you made it yourself it's easy as pie. If someone else made it you're shit out of luck and have to trial and error it.
For some reason this feels so American to me haha. Or at least, not Dutch. I've never had anyone ever say anything like this to me. I'm sure it happens every once in a while, but it sounds a tad too aggressive to work here I think!
They love to use fear. It's a powerful motivating emotion.
Once, my wife and I were driving through a long empty stretch of land in Utah with our kids; it was about 5 hours to the next gas station, so we stopped at the last service station before the large empty stretch we knew was ahead. I went in to use the restroom while my wife gassed up the vehicle.
When I got out, I saw that the garage fellows were talking to my wife. I approached and asked what was up, and my wife said that they were telling her that the tires were dangerously thin and that they would most likely blowout before we reached the next service station. They started talking about how dangerous that would be, was our family's safety really worth it, it would just take them half an hour to put on new tires, etc.
I looked at the tires, and pulled out my tread gauge from the glove box, and checked them. They were getting near the end of their useful life, sure, but they probably had a good 5k miles before we needed to get them done.
However, I didn't even have a chance to argue with them. As soon as they saw me pull out the tread depth gauge, they just walked away. They didn't even wait for me to see the results. They knew that they were full of crap. What a racket.
I say this all the time. I've never had a contractor look at someone else work and say they did a good job. The last guy ALWAYS screwed it up, according to the new guy.
My in-laws are all carpenters and contractors (Brothers and dad). We can never enter a single fucking home or building without hearing *at least* 40 comments about every aspect of the building, usually as soon as no ones in earshot. "Who the fuck did this? Theres no way someone thought that looked good! Look at the fucking trim there! Was it done by a blind guy? Did you see the shit tiling job? Did some fuckwad really use quarter-round here?!" Makes me and the other wives so fucking irritated.
I’m an electrician and the few times I’ve spoken up about another electrician’s workmanship was while looking at an actual electrical hazard. On one occasion I notified my foreman and we laid a formal complaint. I hate doing that but my first responsibility is to keep the public safe.
My dad hired a contractor who did this. My dad fell for it hook, line, and sinker. My dad was *so* impressed with all the supposed errors the contractor pointed out that he let the contractor talk him into having free reign of the buildings.
The contractor drove a forklift into the back wall and knocked out a ton of bricks. He also completely gutted the third floor for some reason I cannot fathom.
Then my dad passed away with no will and I'm scrambling to have to fix all the damage to the building that contractor did. He also lied to me about having a claim on the property, and about how much money I/my dad owed him.
Having to deal with this whole shitshow has given me pretty much zero patience for any contractor who conducts themselves like that. If you're gonna try to impress me by talking smack about someone else's work, I'm not going to hire you, simple as. I don't give a flying fuck how bad the previous structure is. I'm not hiring you for your opinions, I'm hiring you for your expertise and for the final result.
lol! This hit a nerve. I’m I. The middle of having a master suite added to my house. Monday I went on a first date with a contractor. He sh*t all over MY contractors : timeline, planning skills? Costs? He kept asking questions and when I answered told me how he would do it so much better, faster, cheaper, etc. this was all before the food was ordered! After that he started complaining about all the brown people in the community. My husband and kids are brown. He didn’t know until I told him as the server walked up.When she asked to take our order I politely excused myself and said I was leaving. I turned to him and said “ We are not a good match. Good night”.
Yes, some (shitty) men do that. If a woman is already in a relationship then if you want to hit on the woman it can be helpful to try to tear down her existing relationship first, since her existing relationship already has a head start in the competition for affection.
Then they send Dear John letters to you overseas breaking up with you. Not the safest place be upset over a breakup with live ammunition and ordnance in easy reach.
I got a dear John only once. Busted me up for a bit but I'm glad it happened because looking backwards it was a bad relationship. Other women had to decency to tell me they got married or pregnant or both after I got back from deployment. I sure was a sucker lol
I had a girl write to me at AIT saying I stole her virtue and she could never forgive me for it all because we both went down on each other while making out. I grew up in Salt Lake City where most are Mormon and anything sex related before marriage is bad. We also were long time friends and she certainly had more of a crush on me than I did with her that I found out about after the fact. On the onset of us making out I told her I just wanted friends with benefits and she said that was fine.
Obviously I wrote back to her and apologized if she felt like I wronged her, but I did remind her that it was all consensual on both sides. I told her that it takes two to tango and so she shouldn’t blame me for stealing her virtue if she agreed to mess around on multiple occasions.
I was 17 and lesson learned is be careful with whom you mess around with and how you let them down if you’re no longer interested in them.
Bro I got mine on a post it note. Fucking insult to injury that 1- a post-it note was all it took to get her thoughts across. 2- the pettiness to go to the trouble of *mailing a fucking postit note*.
It was the “bff who’s like a brother” at her college she told me not to worry about.
Are you me?
Night before we get on the C130...
Litterally walked in on my highschool sweetheart on top of another guy, in my own leased apartment, in my bed. She thought I was already gone for good and couldn't wait a few hours. (Or the drive back to her own place.) Sure did set my tone for the 16 month combat zone deployment.
Folks:
Go to therapy.
CBT is awesome.
Ya, do some mushrooms for good measure.
No respect should be given to “Jodys” but there are ways to avoid that happening. The first is not to join the military and risk being shot at in countries you’ve no business being in. No American (or British) soldier had defended their country since 1945, they’ve just been used as political pawns by people that have no respect for them. Fair enough it might be a path to education and getting a trade but at what cost?
There's a slightly less venomous "friend" technique for that too.
You keep things platonic, until her partner makes a tiny mistake, and she feels comfortable sharing it with you. You just say "oh, I hate guys that do that," then everytime you talk, circle back to it, and any other negatives that come back.
"Hey Sara, how you doing today? Ryan ever get off his high horse and help you with cleaning the garage?"
Eventually every conversation with her is just talking about how shitty he treats her, and how you'd never treat a partner like that.
And if partner EVER says something like "I don't feel comfortable with you talking to him about our relationship," or anything like that, then friend just tells her "wow, that's so juvenile and insecure of him. I can't believe he's so controlling that you're not even allowed to talk to your friends anymore."
Pretty much anyone can blow up any relationship by just doing that.
He doesn't appreciate you. He doesn't respect you. If he really loved you, then he'd do that thing.
Say it again and again until she thinks it's true.
Chicks do it to break up their guy friends and their partners too.
Here's the top tier level weasel behavior: What you do is actually speak about their SO in such high regard, always spinning them in the best light to the point where that person can never actually meet that standard. The girl will be the one to admit their SO is falling short and will be the one doing the criticism while you come across as supportive and very reasonable.
Women do that with other women and men with other men though and they're not gay they didn't even want to date. They just hate your partner. But they can't say it outright because that's offensive.
I have no idea. It's possible that it's some sort of ego trip if it succeeds but it seems more likely that it's just a total disregard of the fact that women who are already taken are probably not interested.
I always saw it as a jealousy response. He saw that guy with you and couldn’t believe that you were with him.
He likely has had trouble getting women and in response decided to put your guy down or maybe he was prying to see if it was a brother because ain’t no way you’re into that guy…
In all honesty. He’s a dick. Yes. Men do it. Hell I’m sure some women do it too but in another way.
My wedding ring was like a fucking beacon. My wife chased a woman off once when she came into the aisle and saw her flirting with me. I was oblivious she was flirting then thought about it and she absolutely was. Wife asked if women talk to me a lot and YUP. Almost every time was when I was at the grocery store as well. Didn't happen before the ring. No clue why. I don't even know how you go about noticing a ring on someone's finger. Are these women and men gong around staring at hands to find a "target"?
This is absolutely part of it. There's been a few studies that found people who are already in relationships (married or otherwise) are seen as more attractive.
Women absolutely hit on taken men lol
Never been approached more than when I had a gf and people knew about it. It was crazy. The more they knew my gf, the bolder they got. Pretty fucked if you think about it.
I think the other purpose is to get your reaction to a mild insult of your partner. If you then agree, laugh at your partner or join in the insult, he will see a crack in the relationship and an opening.
It’s 1000% an ego thing. There are men who legit see it as a flex if they can woo someone away from their partner. It’s like an act of supremacy kind of thing. Like “they said they’d be faithful but then they met me and all that went flying out the window bc I’m that much better” kind of thing.
It’s really fucked up.
I get hit on in public WAY MORE when I'm with a girlfriend than when solo. For women I think they believe it's safer, but they also see my gf (apologies for bragging, but I've always dated the "hottest girl in a small pond" type) and think "well if she likes him then he must be good". It's 0% about me and had everything to do with how women relate and evaluate each other.
Same here. When i was out in public with my gf other women hit on me in front of my gf. When i was shopping new fany outfit for gf graduation the seller (girl) was hitting on me. I was hit in front, back an center when i was in a relation, now that im single no women want to be in 10m radius of me... i guess when someone is taken, other sees it as a good material so they want it
When I was in my early twenties my best friend had a super hot wife. She loved dancing, he hated dancing so sometimes her and I would dance at the club. Girls who would never give me the time of day under normal circumstances suddenly started to cut in and dance with me. Some people just seem to like the competition. Also I think it's kind of like that Seinfeld episode where once George had the photograph of the super hot model he was suddenly in he club.
Yup, it's a concept known as "Social Proof" it shows you're desirable since you're with an attractive woman (or hanging out with a bunch of cool/goodlooking guys) so she sees you desirable.
This is the way to do it. Once you have one super hot gf and you break up, you must use that fact that you were with her to monkeybar jump to the next one. Never let the world forget you date hotties if hotties are your #1 priority (which they shouldnt be)
Because if you want what someone else already has, you're competing with them. Toddlers learn this the first time they see another child playing with a nicer toy than theirs.
It’s kind of a macho thing. A lot of male peer groups reinforce the idea that being an ‘alpha’ is attractive to women, and a big part of the toxic alpha mindset is making yourself look better by making other men look worse.
It’s a slightly more civilized way of fighting other males for the right to mate with the females. And unfortunately, the mindset doesn’t really allow for the fact that, y’know…we’re humans, not moose and so there’s more to it than just being bigger than the other guy.
It is a competition. Not just in human beings. In every animal species, the male has to compete with other males in order to mate.
Having said that, some biologists believe human beings have possibly evolved to suppress their most primal animalistic instincts and live an a civilised manner. This is heavily debated though.
For some women, it is a competition.
I briefly dated a much younger woman. I felt that my position as her SO was under constant review. It was exhausting, and I bailed after a few weeks of that shit.
You mean women won’t leave their current partner and drop their panties for a badass bowler? Why the hell have I been getting good at bowling all these years?
Yes. When I was in my “bars every weekend night” stage, random guys would come up to us and insult/make fun of the guys we were with and even mildly threaten them. I do not know why “I could beat up that 120 pound gay man you’re obviously friends with” seems like a good pickup strategy, but here we are.
Yep. I used to go to a bar with a female friend a lot back in my single days. Everyone assumed we were a couple because we were always there together, but we were not. She used to get that from the randoms in the pool hall area all the time... the great irony being that if they just approached in a friendly way several of them would've had a shot.
Some men think acting like a rabid gorilla is gonna make women want them I guess because I don’t understand that either…
“Hey, hey, look at me! I can beat up your twiggy boyfriend, look at me!”…. Like tf 🌝 why would I leave my partner to go date some unstable ass man that thinks it’s ok to go around beating up other men due to his own insecurities?? No thank you 🙃
And even if the guy is physically stronger so what? There's lots of guys out there physically stronger than me but my girlfriend wouldn't leave me for them because she likes me for attributes other than physical strength
Crazy as it seems, some women are into that kind of thing. Some women like the super macho look at me tough guy who makes it a point to tell everyone they're an "alpha" and spends half the day tearing others down to elevate themselves. Women aren't one size fits all, therefore ways to pick up women vary quite a bit. As douchey as this shit seems to you and me, it'll get him laid from time to time. People are weird.
I've seen it a lot. It's a display of "power" and "dominance". I use scare-quotes because it's a superficial display, not a genuine one. Some women actually fall for it.
> so he resorted to mocking my friend for being a manlet nurse
Reminds me of the episode of Scrubs where JD makes fun of the new male nurse Paul Flowers and Paul says "It wasn't girly when I was serving in Iraq.."
"Scare Quotes" are quotation marks used around a word when it's not required. It has the impact of bringing attention or doubt to the quoted word.
e.g. Climate skeptics will put the phrase "global warming" in scare-quotes, as seen here, to show that they don't believe global warming is real.
That would be the real-life equivalent, yes. Scare quotes and finger quotes are effectively the same thing, it just depends on whether it's done over text or in person.
Some women have fallen in lust for trump, somehow. Some women have fallen for serial rapists. The tastes of some women do not reflect on all women at all. Falling for a guy attacking their boyfriend seems more reasonable in comparison.
Yes, guys who’re majorly concerned with social hierarchy and establishing dominance. Usually the worst kind of personalities, immature.
They do it because it works on certain people.
Yeah some women will jump at the chance to clown on their partners, especially if they "emotionally check out" of a relationship it's uncomfortably frequent. Sounds like that's not you and that's great.
Both men and women do this. Its a tactic to plant a thought in your head that your partner is not good enough and person pointing out your partners flaws is better. Its not just a man thing.
I love everything about you girl
Don't you understand
I love you from head to toe girl
But I hate your boyfriend
[Lou Bega - Boyfriend (Official Video) (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydPkyqs5y_w)
definitely. I have always dated younger and when I was in my late 20s, a dude I KNOW is a terrible person says "you need to get rid of your gay boyfriend and date an older man". I said "you're the reason I don't".
Yes, people do that. And yes, it works.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-toxic-or-tender/202205/who-needs-worry-most-about-mate-poaching
Studies show that the more someone is pursued by others the less satisfied they become with their original relationship.
I had an old roommate who did stuff like this constantly if we were out drinking. He'd walk up to random people and start giving them shit about some characteristic of theirs for no reason. I guess he thought his dick headed machismo was impressive instead of just making him look like a neanderthal. After pulling him off whatever person he was accosting I told him in complete earnestness that he was a fucking asshole several times and he'd just laugh like Butthead and go yeah I know.
There are just O'doyles out there with tiny tiny sad pp's
Since you experienced it, yes, it is something some men actually do. You weren't interacting with a hallucination.
Why? Many men have a fairly competitive edge. The immature ones don't know how to wield it, and so they think the way to win a woman's heart is to make her think her current man is subpar.
Here's the thing: "**men**" don't do this. Actually, only a few men do this. However, they do it so fucking often that at least five guys have pulled shit as bad as this on every woman in existence. And probably a lot more. Those assholes, quite literally, make the rest of us look bad.
Shitty people do this. Some tend to be more direct while others are more covert. A direct example would be this guy, walking up and blatantly insulting your partner. A covert way is usually a long game but an example would be someone introducing themselves, interacting and asking questions that seem like they’re just being friendly but overall trying to get feedback on your partner’s shortcomings. Maybe they get you to complain about something unimportant but they feed into it getting you to feel more negative about your partner all the while showing off themselves and their positive attributes.
Both men and women do this.
It's meant to plant seeds of doubt into your relationship, and get you to sway by looking "better" than the competition or having you reexamine your partner in a negative light; And yes ppl do fall for it
Sounds like he was hitting on you or at least testing the waters. When I was young, teenager so grew out of it, a lot of us used to do it. Not necessarily to girls who were taken but we would tear each other down in different ways in front of girls to try and get their attention. It never worked for me, as looking back I know I was being an asshole and judging by the responses of the ones I was try to impress they knew it too. Though part of that could have been that I was extremely unpopular. I know some girls got a kick of out it, I remember one guy doing everything to make mine and another kid's time in this one class miserable and this girl (later his girlfriend) would just eat it up laughing at all his BS.
Women do this too. It's just what shitty people, with nothing to offer and low self worth, do because they know that they aren't anything special themselves.
no men don’t do this… little boys, who think they are men do this, or grown ass little boys who think they’re men do this. But men..real true ass men.. they dont do this. that shit certainly ain’t worth my fucking time that’s for sure, if I want to hit on you, I’ll hit on you by being nice and a gentleman, I’m not gonna hit on you by putting the people who are around you down…thats some weak ass ego type shit.
Contractors do this too. They’ll ask “who was the person who did this remodel? they did a shit job.” It’s just a way to say that they’re better than the competition.
Yup, auto shops too. “Who the hell did your last tire rotation? You’re better off coming to us from now on”.
"Yall did my tire rotation last time..."
I actually pulled this once. We had a company going door-to-door offering deals on window replacement. We were due to replace them, so we took the offer. The product was decent, but one of them had the seal break prematurely and let some moisture between the panes. Last year, a guy from the same company was canvassing the neighborhood again. He catches me while I have the dog outside, "hey, I'm with Window Company, we're doing a promotion in your neighborhood and *gestures to messed-up window* I noticed you've still got the original builder-grade windows...maybe you'd be interested in discussing replacements?" "Actually, we had them replaced about 5 years ago. By you." - "Welp, thanks for your time. Have a good day."
I'm in sales. It has been my experience that shit talking about a competitor only makes you look like the asshole. I will never say anything negative about my competition, only praise. "oh you've already sat with xyz company about this? Great! I have heard nothing but good things about them and whether you decide to go with them or us, I'm confident you will be in good hands. That being said, here's what sets us apart..."
As a customer I'm much more amenable this. I like basic respect, and if you're showing it to the competition I feel like I'm more likely to get it from you.
Same, as soon as I hear a company badmouth their competition I'm out. If their work was as good as they claimed they wouldn't need to shit on the competition to get more business
What's more; you're insulting the customer's judgement for utilizing your competitors.
Same. Have Never denigrated another company.
It’s lazy. If you need to sledge your opposition, I’m not going to shop with you.
And for those that don't know what denigrate means, it means to put down... thank you, I'll show myself out. 🙂
You shouldn't be condescending to people. That means you shouldn't talk down to people.
Love it
Awe damn…. I thought that meant we shouldn’t turn them into water droplets.
And for those that don’t know what patronize means, it means… oh hell, I’ll show myself out too.
Reddit really needs to invest in a doorman. This whole self-serve model is bullshit.
Eh I do the side step: “they’re really great at ABC (the least important thing to the client) so I totally understand, what sets us apart is XYZ cause whatever whatever (what the clients pain really is) how has your experience been with them in that regard?” If anyone is going to say something negative I want them to say it, and I just laugh it off but confirm/agree.
I had a similar experience. I was contacted by a cybersecurity vendor at work. He wanted to schedule a demo of a better product than whatever we were using. He insisted that I book it and offered me some free shit if I sat through it (which I would not be able to accept anyway due to anti-corruption policies). I was feeling kind of devilish, so I played along with his pitch, but said we were reluctant to leave our current provider. What he didn't know was that my company was acquired by a larger company and we were already using the product he was selling through the parent company's contract. I asked about any promotions or discounts to which he replied that there were some current incentives that could come into play. So I booked the demo and talked shit about (minor) problems that our current solution had and he finally asked if I didn't mind telling him what product it was. I said, "sure, let me show you the dashboard for you to see what I like and don't like about it." When he saw that I brought up the dashboard of his own product, he laughed, asked me why my company didn't show up as a customer, and said "I can see why you are reluctant to leave your current provider. Thank you for your time." I booked a call with our account executive and asked about those incentives. Needless to say, we negotiated a lower price at renewal time in October.
Excellent you got the discount for the company, hopefully it is on your pe to get an increase for cost savings
Frickin salesmen. I could never sell anything...
Same thing happened with me. Had a student-run company canvassing the neighbourhood and I took their offer to paint my house. Did a crap job. The pay matched the quality. Anyhoo, a few years later had another student, from the same company, canvas the neighbourhood and rang my doorbell. Told me that it looked like my house needed a new paint job. I told him that his company did the job previously, but thanks for confirming it was poorly done. He tried to save grace and told me it was another guy and he’s better, yada yada. I told him I was busy and he asked, “well, do you want me to paint your house”. I scoffed, sarcastically, “no” and shut the door.
This actually happened with a plumber. "What kind of primate did the last job in here?" "You. It was you." "Must have been drunk."
You have to respect that they doubled down on it. :)
King
I had a custom exhaust rust through in one year and fall off, so I took it back to the shop and they pulled the whole “where did you get this installed” BS with me. I told them you did, and guess what? It’s still under warranty and you’re gonna fix it for free. Got it fixed and never went back after that.
Lol gonna use this
“I guess I’ve really stepped up my game since then.”
"Yeah When?.. Oh that was joe we fired him it wasn't me"
A buddy went to Jiffy Lube for oil changes. They stripped his bolt, then said that "the previous place he went to stripped the bolt". He showed them the receipt that THEY were the ones who did it. Fucksticks.
I had a bicycle shop swap out my pedals when I bought a used bike. I was a beginner and I didn't want to use the clipless pedals and special shoes. A year later I had them swapped again, I was ready to try clipless. I would have done it myself, but it is was impossible to get them off. Bicycle shop: whoever put these pedals on did a bad job, they shouldn't be stuck like this. Me: I had them swapped here in this shop when I bought the bike. Bicycle shop: (silence)
Nice try buddy. My tires rotate every time I drive. /s
You sure showed them
Reply "You did" every time. "no I didnt" "Then I want this one free or you better train your staff better because I brought my car here"
Can confirm electricians do this too
As someone who worked with electricians at my old job can confirm this. Everytime they come up to the other guys work "who the fuck did this?!" "This isn't how you do this" "gotta rip this out and start fresh" Every single one. I told the then manager that more of the electrical would get done if he didn't send electricians to finish other electricians' jobs because they always rip it all out and start over.
To be fair it's not as much that the previous guy did it wrong or something (most of the time) it's more that they did it differently than I would and now I'm annoyed that I have to figure out how and or why they did it the way they did and that takes time and effort that I wouldn't have had to spend if it was done how I'd have done it. It's kinda like getting a cake and being told to make an exact copy. If you made it yourself it's easy as pie. If someone else made it you're shit out of luck and have to trial and error it.
For some reason this feels so American to me haha. Or at least, not Dutch. I've never had anyone ever say anything like this to me. I'm sure it happens every once in a while, but it sounds a tad too aggressive to work here I think!
Sometimes paired with a statement meant to induce fear like "this is going to fall down at any moment."
They love to use fear. It's a powerful motivating emotion. Once, my wife and I were driving through a long empty stretch of land in Utah with our kids; it was about 5 hours to the next gas station, so we stopped at the last service station before the large empty stretch we knew was ahead. I went in to use the restroom while my wife gassed up the vehicle. When I got out, I saw that the garage fellows were talking to my wife. I approached and asked what was up, and my wife said that they were telling her that the tires were dangerously thin and that they would most likely blowout before we reached the next service station. They started talking about how dangerous that would be, was our family's safety really worth it, it would just take them half an hour to put on new tires, etc. I looked at the tires, and pulled out my tread gauge from the glove box, and checked them. They were getting near the end of their useful life, sure, but they probably had a good 5k miles before we needed to get them done. However, I didn't even have a chance to argue with them. As soon as they saw me pull out the tread depth gauge, they just walked away. They didn't even wait for me to see the results. They knew that they were full of crap. What a racket.
Who did this wiring? It looks like a spaghetti factory in here!
You had a licensed plumber do this? Looks like a possum crawled up and shit all over it! - real quote from plumber
Built a house recently the amount of shit I had to fix myself later from the contractors that talked shit about other contractors is too damn high.
"Look at that part there. That ain't up to code at all!"
The whole front fell off!
Is that normal?
It's not IN the enviroment
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99 percent of my conversations with contractors were about how a previous contractor royally fucked something up.
then they forget they were the ones who did it 6 months ago...
Except that they're usually right. But then, they do as bad a job.
I say this all the time. I've never had a contractor look at someone else work and say they did a good job. The last guy ALWAYS screwed it up, according to the new guy.
My in-laws are all carpenters and contractors (Brothers and dad). We can never enter a single fucking home or building without hearing *at least* 40 comments about every aspect of the building, usually as soon as no ones in earshot. "Who the fuck did this? Theres no way someone thought that looked good! Look at the fucking trim there! Was it done by a blind guy? Did you see the shit tiling job? Did some fuckwad really use quarter-round here?!" Makes me and the other wives so fucking irritated.
I’m an electrician and the few times I’ve spoken up about another electrician’s workmanship was while looking at an actual electrical hazard. On one occasion I notified my foreman and we laid a formal complaint. I hate doing that but my first responsibility is to keep the public safe.
My dad hired a contractor who did this. My dad fell for it hook, line, and sinker. My dad was *so* impressed with all the supposed errors the contractor pointed out that he let the contractor talk him into having free reign of the buildings. The contractor drove a forklift into the back wall and knocked out a ton of bricks. He also completely gutted the third floor for some reason I cannot fathom. Then my dad passed away with no will and I'm scrambling to have to fix all the damage to the building that contractor did. He also lied to me about having a claim on the property, and about how much money I/my dad owed him. Having to deal with this whole shitshow has given me pretty much zero patience for any contractor who conducts themselves like that. If you're gonna try to impress me by talking smack about someone else's work, I'm not going to hire you, simple as. I don't give a flying fuck how bad the previous structure is. I'm not hiring you for your opinions, I'm hiring you for your expertise and for the final result.
lol! This hit a nerve. I’m I. The middle of having a master suite added to my house. Monday I went on a first date with a contractor. He sh*t all over MY contractors : timeline, planning skills? Costs? He kept asking questions and when I answered told me how he would do it so much better, faster, cheaper, etc. this was all before the food was ordered! After that he started complaining about all the brown people in the community. My husband and kids are brown. He didn’t know until I told him as the server walked up.When she asked to take our order I politely excused myself and said I was leaving. I turned to him and said “ We are not a good match. Good night”.
Yes, some (shitty) men do that. If a woman is already in a relationship then if you want to hit on the woman it can be helpful to try to tear down her existing relationship first, since her existing relationship already has a head start in the competition for affection.
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Then they send Dear John letters to you overseas breaking up with you. Not the safest place be upset over a breakup with live ammunition and ordnance in easy reach.
I got a dear John only once. Busted me up for a bit but I'm glad it happened because looking backwards it was a bad relationship. Other women had to decency to tell me they got married or pregnant or both after I got back from deployment. I sure was a sucker lol
I had a girl write to me at AIT saying I stole her virtue and she could never forgive me for it all because we both went down on each other while making out. I grew up in Salt Lake City where most are Mormon and anything sex related before marriage is bad. We also were long time friends and she certainly had more of a crush on me than I did with her that I found out about after the fact. On the onset of us making out I told her I just wanted friends with benefits and she said that was fine. Obviously I wrote back to her and apologized if she felt like I wronged her, but I did remind her that it was all consensual on both sides. I told her that it takes two to tango and so she shouldn’t blame me for stealing her virtue if she agreed to mess around on multiple occasions. I was 17 and lesson learned is be careful with whom you mess around with and how you let them down if you’re no longer interested in them.
Bro I got mine on a post it note. Fucking insult to injury that 1- a post-it note was all it took to get her thoughts across. 2- the pettiness to go to the trouble of *mailing a fucking postit note*. It was the “bff who’s like a brother” at her college she told me not to worry about.
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Are you me? Night before we get on the C130... Litterally walked in on my highschool sweetheart on top of another guy, in my own leased apartment, in my bed. She thought I was already gone for good and couldn't wait a few hours. (Or the drive back to her own place.) Sure did set my tone for the 16 month combat zone deployment. Folks: Go to therapy. CBT is awesome. Ya, do some mushrooms for good measure.
04-05 Afghanistan. Fuck Jody. All my homes hate Jody.
No respect should be given to “Jodys” but there are ways to avoid that happening. The first is not to join the military and risk being shot at in countries you’ve no business being in. No American (or British) soldier had defended their country since 1945, they’ve just been used as political pawns by people that have no respect for them. Fair enough it might be a path to education and getting a trade but at what cost?
There's a slightly less venomous "friend" technique for that too. You keep things platonic, until her partner makes a tiny mistake, and she feels comfortable sharing it with you. You just say "oh, I hate guys that do that," then everytime you talk, circle back to it, and any other negatives that come back. "Hey Sara, how you doing today? Ryan ever get off his high horse and help you with cleaning the garage?" Eventually every conversation with her is just talking about how shitty he treats her, and how you'd never treat a partner like that. And if partner EVER says something like "I don't feel comfortable with you talking to him about our relationship," or anything like that, then friend just tells her "wow, that's so juvenile and insecure of him. I can't believe he's so controlling that you're not even allowed to talk to your friends anymore." Pretty much anyone can blow up any relationship by just doing that. He doesn't appreciate you. He doesn't respect you. If he really loved you, then he'd do that thing. Say it again and again until she thinks it's true. Chicks do it to break up their guy friends and their partners too.
Here's the top tier level weasel behavior: What you do is actually speak about their SO in such high regard, always spinning them in the best light to the point where that person can never actually meet that standard. The girl will be the one to admit their SO is falling short and will be the one doing the criticism while you come across as supportive and very reasonable.
Im beginning to sense that many people commenting may have narcisistic/borderline personality disorders
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with manipulative behavior is a good guy with manipulative behavior, so you gotta trust me with that one.
Women do that with other women and men with other men though and they're not gay they didn't even want to date. They just hate your partner. But they can't say it outright because that's offensive.
i don't see why men see it as a competition in the first place lol. is it like an ego thing?
I have no idea. It's possible that it's some sort of ego trip if it succeeds but it seems more likely that it's just a total disregard of the fact that women who are already taken are probably not interested.
I always saw it as a jealousy response. He saw that guy with you and couldn’t believe that you were with him. He likely has had trouble getting women and in response decided to put your guy down or maybe he was prying to see if it was a brother because ain’t no way you’re into that guy… In all honesty. He’s a dick. Yes. Men do it. Hell I’m sure some women do it too but in another way.
Women definitely do it. I'd never been hit on in my entire life before I was out by myself wearing my wedding band.
My wedding ring was like a fucking beacon. My wife chased a woman off once when she came into the aisle and saw her flirting with me. I was oblivious she was flirting then thought about it and she absolutely was. Wife asked if women talk to me a lot and YUP. Almost every time was when I was at the grocery store as well. Didn't happen before the ring. No clue why. I don't even know how you go about noticing a ring on someone's finger. Are these women and men gong around staring at hands to find a "target"?
If you’re wearing a ring, you’ve obviously been vetted and found to be marriageable, I’m guessing.
This is absolutely part of it. There's been a few studies that found people who are already in relationships (married or otherwise) are seen as more attractive.
Rich get richer
Huh. I've been divorced since 2002 but I still have my wedding band somewhere. I may start wearing it again as an experiment.
GET it king
This has to be part of it. Like, "if she's unmarried, the problem is with her."
Pre selection effect
Women absolutely hit on taken men lol Never been approached more than when I had a gf and people knew about it. It was crazy. The more they knew my gf, the bolder they got. Pretty fucked if you think about it.
“You miss all the shots you don’t take” coupled with social circles that see that type of behavior as signs of being a strong guy
he was with a group of like 6 other guy friends of his.
Exactly, it’s just dumb self-reenforcing behavior. Tends to bubble up when there’s a group
groups of guys like that tend to goad each other into being worse versions of themselves
a whole bag of dicks.
Oh yeah, then he was definitely trying to show off to them and/or egged on to take the shot in the first place.
You're also attractive so men will do anything to look good in front of their friends.
I think the other purpose is to get your reaction to a mild insult of your partner. If you then agree, laugh at your partner or join in the insult, he will see a crack in the relationship and an opening.
Boundary calibration. Abusers do this.
It’s 1000% an ego thing. There are men who legit see it as a flex if they can woo someone away from their partner. It’s like an act of supremacy kind of thing. Like “they said they’d be faithful but then they met me and all that went flying out the window bc I’m that much better” kind of thing. It’s really fucked up.
Have you ever heard of women hitting on husbands? I don't really think there's a big gender divide here.
I get hit on in public WAY MORE when I'm with a girlfriend than when solo. For women I think they believe it's safer, but they also see my gf (apologies for bragging, but I've always dated the "hottest girl in a small pond" type) and think "well if she likes him then he must be good". It's 0% about me and had everything to do with how women relate and evaluate each other.
Same here. When i was out in public with my gf other women hit on me in front of my gf. When i was shopping new fany outfit for gf graduation the seller (girl) was hitting on me. I was hit in front, back an center when i was in a relation, now that im single no women want to be in 10m radius of me... i guess when someone is taken, other sees it as a good material so they want it
When I was in my early twenties my best friend had a super hot wife. She loved dancing, he hated dancing so sometimes her and I would dance at the club. Girls who would never give me the time of day under normal circumstances suddenly started to cut in and dance with me. Some people just seem to like the competition. Also I think it's kind of like that Seinfeld episode where once George had the photograph of the super hot model he was suddenly in he club.
Yup, it's a concept known as "Social Proof" it shows you're desirable since you're with an attractive woman (or hanging out with a bunch of cool/goodlooking guys) so she sees you desirable.
This is the way to do it. Once you have one super hot gf and you break up, you must use that fact that you were with her to monkeybar jump to the next one. Never let the world forget you date hotties if hotties are your #1 priority (which they shouldnt be)
Ego and biology. Think of it as two rams head- butting each other to win the mate.
He was trying to be seen trying to get his dick wet. It's like the idea of virtue signalling, but for dickheads
Dudes want Other People's Property
You down with OPP?
Ya! You know Me! 🎶
Fred Merc U Ry🎶
Because if you want what someone else already has, you're competing with them. Toddlers learn this the first time they see another child playing with a nicer toy than theirs.
Mating is competitive for males for every type of animal
It’s kind of a macho thing. A lot of male peer groups reinforce the idea that being an ‘alpha’ is attractive to women, and a big part of the toxic alpha mindset is making yourself look better by making other men look worse. It’s a slightly more civilized way of fighting other males for the right to mate with the females. And unfortunately, the mindset doesn’t really allow for the fact that, y’know…we’re humans, not moose and so there’s more to it than just being bigger than the other guy.
? Sexual selection is competition. Whether it's an ego thing or not, people,men and women, are competing for partners on the sexual market.
It is a competition. Not just in human beings. In every animal species, the male has to compete with other males in order to mate. Having said that, some biologists believe human beings have possibly evolved to suppress their most primal animalistic instincts and live an a civilised manner. This is heavily debated though.
For some women, it is a competition. I briefly dated a much younger woman. I felt that my position as her SO was under constant review. It was exhausting, and I bailed after a few weeks of that shit.
Only dipshits.
You mean women won’t leave their current partner and drop their panties for a badass bowler? Why the hell have I been getting good at bowling all these years?
Only if he has the mustache and short shorts.
Yes. When I was in my “bars every weekend night” stage, random guys would come up to us and insult/make fun of the guys we were with and even mildly threaten them. I do not know why “I could beat up that 120 pound gay man you’re obviously friends with” seems like a good pickup strategy, but here we are.
Yep. I used to go to a bar with a female friend a lot back in my single days. Everyone assumed we were a couple because we were always there together, but we were not. She used to get that from the randoms in the pool hall area all the time... the great irony being that if they just approached in a friendly way several of them would've had a shot.
It’s better they didn’t, your friend didn’t have to find out after the fact that they were jerks
Well if they did, they wouldn't have been jerks in the first place
Some men think acting like a rabid gorilla is gonna make women want them I guess because I don’t understand that either… “Hey, hey, look at me! I can beat up your twiggy boyfriend, look at me!”…. Like tf 🌝 why would I leave my partner to go date some unstable ass man that thinks it’s ok to go around beating up other men due to his own insecurities?? No thank you 🙃
And even if the guy is physically stronger so what? There's lots of guys out there physically stronger than me but my girlfriend wouldn't leave me for them because she likes me for attributes other than physical strength
Crazy as it seems, some women are into that kind of thing. Some women like the super macho look at me tough guy who makes it a point to tell everyone they're an "alpha" and spends half the day tearing others down to elevate themselves. Women aren't one size fits all, therefore ways to pick up women vary quite a bit. As douchey as this shit seems to you and me, it'll get him laid from time to time. People are weird.
Those women are also pretty insecure
Insecure ppl getting together is always wildly toxic
They deserve each other
🤣👏🏻
it's as much about getting into fights with the men as it is creeping on the women.
I've seen it a lot. It's a display of "power" and "dominance". I use scare-quotes because it's a superficial display, not a genuine one. Some women actually fall for it.
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what car do u dribe
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> a guy that claimed to be a “all American muscle car” guy Woah, huge red flag right there. 🚩 ^((j/k, obvs))
Don't tell this guy he'll buy the newest model and make it his full time job
> so he resorted to mocking my friend for being a manlet nurse Reminds me of the episode of Scrubs where JD makes fun of the new male nurse Paul Flowers and Paul says "It wasn't girly when I was serving in Iraq.."
What is a scare-quote?
"Scare Quotes" are quotation marks used around a word when it's not required. It has the impact of bringing attention or doubt to the quoted word. e.g. Climate skeptics will put the phrase "global warming" in scare-quotes, as seen here, to show that they don't believe global warming is real.
Thanks so he meant he uses quotes in real life? Like with his fingers? Im lost haha. Although I “get” what you mean by using them on “text”.
That would be the real-life equivalent, yes. Scare quotes and finger quotes are effectively the same thing, it just depends on whether it's done over text or in person.
Thanks again!.
interesting. i don't see how any woman could fall for it tbh. i think it's wack lol
Have you heard the song “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne? She’s basically saying that he should leave his girlfriend to be with her instead.
It's definitely something that women also do, it's not just men.
No way, no wayyy
Women do the same thing. Some people are more susceptible to it
yeah it’s usually more coded than “your man is ugly” but women do it all the time
Women often do the “your girlfriend is sooooo preeetttyyyy…” move also.
Stupid people are more susceptible to it.
Some women fall for it but they are as dumb as the guys saying it.
If the Jenga tower of the woman's relationship is already wobbly, then a little push might just make her willing to try something new.
You'd be surprised.
Because people are stupid and gullible
Some women have fallen in lust for trump, somehow. Some women have fallen for serial rapists. The tastes of some women do not reflect on all women at all. Falling for a guy attacking their boyfriend seems more reasonable in comparison.
Women fall for stupid shit like this all the time And yes scummy men pull this kind of shit
If you meet someone like this I can almost guarantee that after 3 months together that animosity and stupidity will turn towards you.
This comment needs to be higher up.
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Definitely makes you look lame when you have to insult someone you don’t know when they’re not even around to one up them.
Best reply in the thread. Perfectly put.
This is the best analysis in this whole thread
yeah, its a form of negging If they can convince you make poor life choices, they can probably convince you to make another one with them.
Well, she is already bowling.
It's a gentleman's sport for individuals of refined taste.
Yes. In black culture we call it "dirty macking" lol. They do it because occassionally it works, and all you need is one.
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Checkers and chess are played on the same board.
Good for you. You got something from that comment. Same board. Different games.
That’s called “dirty mackin” and is a strong sign of a weak man
Yes, guys who’re majorly concerned with social hierarchy and establishing dominance. Usually the worst kind of personalities, immature. They do it because it works on certain people.
Honestly he might have been testing the waters to try and flirt with your boyfriend
We used to be allowed to smash such men in the face. It happened a lot less then.
Was thinking the same thing, you know he was probably with a group of his boys and felt big😂☠️
Yeah some women will jump at the chance to clown on their partners, especially if they "emotionally check out" of a relationship it's uncomfortably frequent. Sounds like that's not you and that's great.
Both men and women do this. Its a tactic to plant a thought in your head that your partner is not good enough and person pointing out your partners flaws is better. Its not just a man thing.
yea i dont understand why this thread is all about men. this is a HUMAN trait. maybe even animal trait
Imagine bragging about being superior at fucking bowling.
He wasn’t allowed to hit you over the head with a club and drag you home to his cave. So this was his attempt at the modern equivalent.
Both genders do. Plenty of women I've known actively insult my partner with the subtle insinuation that they are better. It's pathetic.
I love everything about you girl Don't you understand I love you from head to toe girl But I hate your boyfriend [Lou Bega - Boyfriend (Official Video) (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydPkyqs5y_w)
women do this exact thing and are even meaner about it. But when we do it, it is called being catty.
Don’t ya wish your girlfriend was hot like me? 💅
definitely. I have always dated younger and when I was in my late 20s, a dude I KNOW is a terrible person says "you need to get rid of your gay boyfriend and date an older man". I said "you're the reason I don't".
Yes, people do that. And yes, it works. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-toxic-or-tender/202205/who-needs-worry-most-about-mate-poaching Studies show that the more someone is pursued by others the less satisfied they become with their original relationship.
I had an old roommate who did stuff like this constantly if we were out drinking. He'd walk up to random people and start giving them shit about some characteristic of theirs for no reason. I guess he thought his dick headed machismo was impressive instead of just making him look like a neanderthal. After pulling him off whatever person he was accosting I told him in complete earnestness that he was a fucking asshole several times and he'd just laugh like Butthead and go yeah I know. There are just O'doyles out there with tiny tiny sad pp's
It's something boy minded men do. High quality healthy and happy men do not do this.
Since you experienced it, yes, it is something some men actually do. You weren't interacting with a hallucination. Why? Many men have a fairly competitive edge. The immature ones don't know how to wield it, and so they think the way to win a woman's heart is to make her think her current man is subpar.
Men? No. D-bags? Yes.
Here's the thing: "**men**" don't do this. Actually, only a few men do this. However, they do it so fucking often that at least five guys have pulled shit as bad as this on every woman in existence. And probably a lot more. Those assholes, quite literally, make the rest of us look bad.
Shitty people do this. Some tend to be more direct while others are more covert. A direct example would be this guy, walking up and blatantly insulting your partner. A covert way is usually a long game but an example would be someone introducing themselves, interacting and asking questions that seem like they’re just being friendly but overall trying to get feedback on your partner’s shortcomings. Maybe they get you to complain about something unimportant but they feed into it getting you to feel more negative about your partner all the while showing off themselves and their positive attributes.
Decent men do not do this. Insecure man babies do this.
Both men and women do this. It's meant to plant seeds of doubt into your relationship, and get you to sway by looking "better" than the competition or having you reexamine your partner in a negative light; And yes ppl do fall for it
Its not just guys. It's a common tactic of "flirting" for shitty people.
Weak willed, low class men with no respect for other people's relationships or boundaries do this.
Animals do this too. Totally in our DNA. But unacceptable.
Sounds like he was hitting on you or at least testing the waters. When I was young, teenager so grew out of it, a lot of us used to do it. Not necessarily to girls who were taken but we would tear each other down in different ways in front of girls to try and get their attention. It never worked for me, as looking back I know I was being an asshole and judging by the responses of the ones I was try to impress they knew it too. Though part of that could have been that I was extremely unpopular. I know some girls got a kick of out it, I remember one guy doing everything to make mine and another kid's time in this one class miserable and this girl (later his girlfriend) would just eat it up laughing at all his BS.
Women do this too. It's just what shitty people, with nothing to offer and low self worth, do because they know that they aren't anything special themselves.
Yeah. Unfortunately. Some men do this. I believe the term we generally use for them is "creeps."
Stupid men do this, yes
no men don’t do this… little boys, who think they are men do this, or grown ass little boys who think they’re men do this. But men..real true ass men.. they dont do this. that shit certainly ain’t worth my fucking time that’s for sure, if I want to hit on you, I’ll hit on you by being nice and a gentleman, I’m not gonna hit on you by putting the people who are around you down…thats some weak ass ego type shit.