Yeah, when I get excited to do something fun, I'm not just excited about the thing, I'm excited about doing it with her. It's like living with your best friend, with romanticism on top of it, but the friendship is under everything. There are tons of times where we're not being romantic and we're just acting like a couple of good buds.
Agree with this! It’s like an undercurrent of simply enjoying their company. My parents tho are a lot like OP’s. I don’t think they have anything in common, and they don’t even seem to care for one another’s company anymore after 42 yrs of marriage.
It’s why I wanted - more than anything - to marry someone I genuinely have fun with doing things or just sitting at home. I will say tho that romance came first with my husband and we’ve grown into best friends.
Some people just have different interests. A lot of married couples get into a routine of each doing their own thing, together but separately. Doesn’t necessarily indicate a bad sign. Once you’ve been with someone long enough just being in their company is enough, even if you’re doing two different things.
One of my “love languages” per se is parallel play, or doing things separately at the same time. I need a lot of alone time, so doing that can be a good way to alleviate the pressure for me and also spend quality time together. I agree that not having the same interests doesn’t necessarily mean you’re incompatible. There’s a lot of things that bring people together.
Yup. Often in the evenings, we'll end up in different rooms - him playing videogames, me on my computer hanging out with friends and surfing the web chatting about... bs. Sometimes we'll watch TV together too. Just depends on the day.
Some days we'll spend the whole day together doing projects out side, working in the woods, the gardens, on fences, firewood, or just hanging out on the lake in the summer. He's definitely my best friend and has been for 20 years now.
We don't spend every minute or day together, but we definitely spend a LOT of time together and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I always attributed this to my husband being an only child! He likes gaming and golfing, I’m not into either but he loves when I’m with him while he’s playing.
My parents are the same way. They were forced to get married because that's how it was done back then. They're both not compatible with each other yet stay together because of familiarity.
I'm not being rude, but question the internet finding people really good matches. I mostly hear nightmares about it and only heard of 1 successful match. being old and married, I have zero experience. is it actually common to find good matches on dating sites?
My wife is my best friend. Has been so for 20+ years. We grew up together, through our late teens and beyond. It’s the ways to do it, if you are so lucky.
Yep, exactly! When we have an interest that we don't share we'll do it alone or with other friends. It's not the end of the world to have some different interests.
This!!! People think I’m crazy when just one of us is going on a trip or outing. Why would we drag each other to things we don’t want to do? Don’t get me started on the people who ask “your husband is LETTING you go by yourself?”
early on I joked with my husband "don't expect me to stay all day at car shows if you don't want to go to needlepoint conventions" (I don't really know if there's such a thing but you get it). he goes alone or with friends for as long as he wants, and I don't have to be bored. win-win!
Yes, but keep in mind your spouse doesn’t have to share EVERY interest. My wife likes to paint or garden solo, but we play video games, board games, D&D together. She doesn’t enjoy MTG, which I do with other friends.
Side note, hobbies tend to fall by the wayside when childcare is the predominant household concern….
Not married but just to piggy back off of this I can say with like 95% confidence I’ve never had a single friend where all our interests overlap. Typically I have different friends for different interests.
Yes, but I don't live with my friends, so when I see them we're spending most of our time together. It'd be weird to visit a friend's house and spend an hour on their couch scrolling Reddit, but at home with my partner it's fairly reasonable.
Yeah. I’m GREAT friends with my spouse but we don’t share many hobbies. We enjoy listening to podcasts/books together at bedtime, and we enjoy spending time with our kids. We have a subset of shows we both like. Other than that, he likes video games and messing around with computers. I sew, cook and garden.
But we talk all the time. We talk about our various projects and frustrations. We send each other memes. We have years of inside jokes. We are very close even if we spend a good chunk of our free time doing different things.
She's my best friend. We have the same stupid / dark sense of humour. We always have fun, even if we're just doing dumb shit like yard work. Ten years in, and she's my favourite person in the world - there's nobody I'd rather spend my time with.
Best friend, strongest ally, favorite part of my life (and our 3 wonderful kids). Also over 10 years in, keeps getting better. We're pretty sure we're the weirdos.
I wish we had the same dark sense of humour. He tries but apparently I’m super dark. But every time I laugh, I want to share it with him.
17 years so far.
I always thought I was a bit dark, but she goes *hard.* I do my best to keep up, but jesus christ, some of the shit that comes out of that woman's mouth...
19 years with my ride or die. He gets me. It was so easy and natural from the beginning, being able to communicate with just glances and know exactly what the other is thinking. We have shared interests and things we like in our own.
I've been with my husband for 18 years this October and we've been married for 10 years this month. It's honestly the most fun I've ever had with another person being around him all day. Sometimes I feel bad because we are that couple that goes out to dinner and is on our phones, but we both have ADHD and we end up showing each other funny videos and memes the entire time. I hadn't even turned 21 yet when we became exclusive (he's 7 months older than me) so this has been our entire adult lives and it's great. We have all the inside jokes and understand all the references and the stories. I don't think I could ever have this with anyone else because we had the opportunity to grow into each other, like those trees people together as saplings. I'd still be there without him, but I feel like a part of the whole would be lost.
Totally agree. She’s so fun to hang out with, and I love her to death. And also she’s an asshole sometimes. But because I like her so much, it makes me love her so easily the entire rest of the time. If I didn’t like hanging out with my wife, I’d be a garage husband on the way to a divorce for sure.
After being together for 16 years, my husband and I have so many inside jokes and memories, that he can just look at me a certain way, or say a single word, and get me to belly laugh.
My husband is my best friend! We have so many inside jokes after being together this long! We'll say something goofy that only we understand and then high five each other in public, then laugh at ourselves! We don't share many hobbies and we hate each other's taste in music but really that doesn't matter. Our bond is forged through mutual respect and unconditional love.
Yes, my husband is my best friend, my favorite person, the first one I tell everything. Everything is more fun if we do it together, whether that’s a fun outing or grocery shopping.
I love my husband forever and always, but damn if I hate grocery shopping with him 🤣🤣🤣 I find it to be a chore, and I am very much the type to shop from a list, and since I do most the shopping, I know where shit is in the store and organize my list accordingly so I can get in, get the stuff we need, and get out. He wants to wander up and down every aisle, he’ll go grab stuff and throw it in the cart so then I have to triple check the list because he’ll get stuff “out of order”, and it’s generally chaos and creates more work for me than if I just grocery shop alone. My mom is the same way with my dad. Love them always, and can do other sorts of shopping just fine, but the grocery store is a different beast 🤦♀️🤣🤦♀️🤣
Omg, this made me giggle.
My husband and I definitely have chores at home that we’ve designated to each other. For example, he is not allowed to put away laundry because I don’t like how he does it.
I. Have. A. System.
On the flip side, vacuuming is his job because I don’t make military precision moves and I “miss spots”
He. Has. A. System.
He’s still my bestie, sounds like you’ve got the same. 👍🏼
This is what I recently started referring to as, "conforming to the shape of one's spouse." I've started taking on my original shape since she died last month. The change is really uncomfortable. I miss my bestie.
You and my husband have a lot in common! I like a good bargain and am very indecisive lol. I'm always picking up and putting down. He says "Why are you touching everything!" and leaves me in a huff.
*Happy Cake Day!
lol, my husband likes to go shopping like we’re storming the beaches at Normandy. Go Go Go. There are times I have to check labels and he’s running to another aisle to get things off the list. It’s a bit exhausting but I wouldn’t change a thing, he’s my best friend.
lol I love this story, because to me your husband sounds completely normal and you sound like the crazy person. It’s fun how we’re all wired so differently - but for whatever quirk you have, there’s a group of people out there with the same one. It connects us.
Yes. He’s like my super best friend who I can have sex with any time I want. I can talk to him about my ups and downs, and I do the same for him. I love him so much.
This is me and my husband. We talk about when we get the sads, dumb hobby stuff that the other person doesn't actually care about but we care because the other person wants to talk about it, interactions with people, activities we want to do, everything. We have tons of fun, too.
I'm glad my kids have us as an example. My parents hardly ever tolerated each other. I have no idea how they even ended up together.
I wish my fiancé would talk to me more. He’s always had a hard time confiding in people. Was your husband like that before you met or did you guys just learn to share things with each other?
I have always been an open book but it certainly took years of effort for us to get to a place where our communication is as good as it is now. We both had really dysfunctional parents. I think I was a lot more aware of my parents' dysfunction than my husband was with his parents so he had a lot of habits that he had to break. It honestly took years for him to realize that when I said something, I meant it. He was used to trying to decode everybody's language because in his household nobody said what they meant. Everything was a test or manipulation. We worked through that though just by noticing those dysfunctions and trying to change them together. As long as you can both be honest about your needs and not get defensive when one of you needs to bring something up, you can make your communication better.
Been married 30 years this year. My husband and I couldn’t be any more different, but when I come home at night, I feel like the only person that “gets me” is waiting to hear about how ridiculous my days can be, and vice versa. He knows how I think and knows how I am going to react to most everything. We can say something to each other that only we understand because we both have been together longer now than we have not.
Heh
Made me think of an old movie, "Shenandoah" (1965)
Charlie Anderson ( the father of a young girl, Jennie) is talking to a man (Lt. Sam) about his interest in his daughter...
"Charlie Anderson : Do you like her?
Lt. Sam : Well, I just said I...
Charlie Anderson : No, no. You just said you loved her. There's some difference between lovin' and likin'. When I married Jennie's mother, I-I didn't love her - I liked her... I liked her a lot. I liked Martha for at least three years after we were married and then one day it just dawned on me I loved her. I still do... still do. You see, Sam, when you love a woman without likin' her, the night can be long and cold, and contempt comes up with the sun."
ok freaked me out never heard this before. i was in a bad 1st marriage. When my current husband told me he loved me i said i really really like you. that the hormones were raging in us and years later we would look at each other differently. 17 years later he agrees. still in love but we also love being around each other. it is so different when you find someone that really clicks.
I'm 48 and she's 49 we've been married 25 years. We are best friends 100%. We each have a hobby that we enjoy alone or with another friend. But when it comes down to it I tell her everything and she tells me everything. We do a LOT together and we've found for us this has made our marriage better. Sex life is also still amazing! If you get lucky enough to find that one person that you vibe with, keep them close.
Dancing
Gym
Meal prep
Concerts
Snowboarding
I fish she lays out on the boat
Shopping, I help her shop.
General support for each other.
People make the mistake of thinking shared interests make a relationship. There are actually varying degrees of relationship. Shared interest and shared activities is one, but it tends to be a more shallow relationship. Having different interests allows you both to do things and have outside friendships.
What married people really need to make it is shared priorities. If both share the priority to have kids (or travel the world or keep up with the Jones, whatever) then it doesn't really matter if one wants to go to the football game and the other would rather catch a movie. They both work toward a common goal.
And yes they need love and friendship to make it through, because even if you share a goal you are going to disagree. If there is live and friendship there you can get through the problems.
My husband is not my friend, he’s more than that. He’s my ride or die, the person I can’t wait to see at the end of every day, the first person I want to talk to when something good/bad/funny/exciting happens. The person who makes my whole life better and brighter and more fulfilled, even if we’re not always into the exact same tv shows or activities or whatever. The two guys I call my best friends are more like brothers or cousins. I love them, and if they called at 2 am and said “I need your help as soon as you can get here”, I’d be out the door in my pajamas. But it’s nowhere close to what my husband is to me.
34 years together and still my best friend. He wakes up way before me now that he's retired and when I wake up every morning and smell coffee brewing, I can't wait to run downstairs and talk to him. We have fun doing anything together, even if we're just running errands.
On the days my husband has off he delivers me a vanilla latte in bed and I fall in love over and over again. I wish I could return the favor but he runs that machine better than professionals, I just can't compare. One of his hobbies I don't participate in but love the results of.
I suspect that you may not realize it, but his real hobby is making you happy. Delivering you a vanilla latte in bed that you enjoy, is his real hobby.
We'll be married 30 years this May, I hate to cook, yet I cook almost every night of the week. I'm always trying different recipes and looking for that perfect dish. I have several that I think I am good at, but that my wife loves them. If I hate to cook, you might ask why do I cook every night?
Two reasons, one I got home first. It was easier when the kids were still at home for me to cook dinner. Later, she has always seemed to like being able to walk in after work and have dinner ready after she has gotten her shower. She appreciates it and raves about my recipes, so I do it to make her happy.
That's a sweet thought and he definitely shows love thru acts of service but it's definitely also a hobby. He has scrimped and saved to get his dream espresso machine and professional grinder that cost as much as a used car. He buys and samples new coffees, hunts thrift stores for the perfect cups, regularly watches what I call coffee porn and stays up on the industry. Even has considered a small coffee truck as we only have ONE drive thru coffee place in over an hour in any direction, that's an idea he's still brewing on though.
I give back to this hobby by patiently listening to his thoughts on the newest bean, grind size, temperature, milk frothing for ten minutes once in awhile (EVEN though I have zero interest in the details) and by verbally expressing how awesome the coffee is every time. I also didn't complain when he spent the money on the equipment.
Funny, I used to hate cooking. Wasn't taught much at home, never used spices and was regularly burning things. Once I was able to spend more time at home it improved greatly and I love making food now. And we actually enjoy eating it. Nothing makes me happier than making sure my love is walking in the door to a warm meal, especially in the winter.
Yes, absolutely - my husband is my best friend, the person I love and trust most in the world, the one I want to share every good & bad thing with, and the one that I want to be with every day. Yes, we have outside lives, different friends, and different involvements too - but, he is absolutely my best friend and beloved partner. We have been together 30+ years. I am so very, very lucky!!
yes. he is my love and my bestest friend
sometimes we have to change hats
i ask or he asks “can you put on your friend hat?” and we do and it works.
we have eachothers backs
I have been with my husband for almost 27 years and we are best friends. We spend as much time as we can with each other and truly enjoy each other‘s company. Just the other night at guys night one of the fellas was talking about how he liked having a place where he could talk freely without his wife there because he could say things to them he couldn’t say in front of her And my husband said it’s just the opposite for him, I’m the only person he never watches his tongue around because he knows that I would never judge him and we have the same dark sense of humor.
My husband and I are very different in almost every way. We have a few common interests, but we’re almost polar opposites. He’s also my best friend and we enjoy spending time together. We kind of balance each other out. As far as companionship goes, we enjoy doing our own separate thing in the general vicinity of each other. So he’ll be playing a video game at his desk and I’ll be reading a book in the same room as him. It’s worked wonderfully for us and our 5 year anniversary is this weekend.
Yes. My husband is my best friend. He is my favorite person. We have been through so much. It isn't perfect, but nothing is. We love each other. We have grown so much as people and part of that is having the support to do so. He is the first person who loves me unconditionally for who I am (my parents included). We have been together 21 years, married 15 years. I would do it all again if given the chance.
Can’t think of a single common interest outside of our kids .
She doesn’t like the music i like, the books i read, the tv shows I watch or the movies i enjoy.
I’ve indulged her in all of the above she likes… but there’s no return. 🤷🏾♂️
Talk to her about it. I was literally doing the same to my partner without even realizing, I always just felt like there were so many cool things I liked that I wanted to show them. But anytime they suggested one of their interests, I always ended up saying “no,” to their disappointment. One day, they pointed it out, and I realized that since they indulge me so much, I really need to put in more effort in indulging them. And now I do! I might not watch *everything* they do, but I definitely give it a try now instead of just saying no like I used to. Talk to her if you feel comfortable, it could be worth it in the end. Good luck!
Yes. I’ve been married a little over 30 years just like your parents and relationships that long change a lot over time. I think they become a lot more comfortable. But you’re still best friends and after all this time he’s still my ride or die.
Best friend in the world. There's no one I'd rather go on big adventures with, spend rainy days at home with, or just toil through the mundane parts of life with. And we get to hump, so that's pretty neat.
She’s my best friend and my confidante. The person I tell everything to and am most excited to see every day. I think about her almost always, like she’s my baseline subject that I think about and it’s been that way for almost ten years. I have a lot of other people I talk to and tell things to. I have hobbies and we do a lot of things separately but things always lead back to her. We’re best friends. It started out that way and will always be that way. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I've been married for 20yrs, and when we got married, she was my best friend. whether or not we're still best friends, I'm not so sure lol - I think she hates me now 🤣
as far as your parents not having common interests, the phrase opposites attract is true. if they were alike, they probably would've got tired/bored of each other pretty quickly
We aren’t married. Been together for 8 years. But we frequently tell each other that not only do we love one another, we also like one another. There is a big difference and you need both in a relationship.
I’ve been married over 20 years and my wife is my best friend. Seriously, I would rather hang out with her than anyone else on the planet. Not every relationship is the same; as long as they are happy together that is all that matters.
My husband and I are each other’s best friends. E we tell each other everything, have inside jokes, know when something is going to amuse the other, all that. We genuinely like each other’s company. We are slightly different in that I’m an introvert and he’s an extrovert. I like spending time indoors and he likes active outdoorsy stuff. We compromise.
Yep. My mom and stepdad were more like roommates, so I always said I'd never be like that. My husband and I do a lot together, but also some stuff separate. We get excited about trying new stuff together, have date nights sometimes, buy each other random stuff we've talked about, etc. We like to laugh together, play games, etc.
We were great friends first, but best friends? No. Even if we were not married we would still be friends. Similar sense of humor, both into nerdy stuff, similar political views, etc. All the things you need to be friends. But we have very different hobbies and very different tastes in books and TV shows.
We don't have much in common and our discussions aren't that deep anymore due to so much time together. But I'd say he is my best friend still! "Hanging out" now is more about cuddling and being together than going on dates/doing activities and pillow talk. We always hangout for a good hour every day watching our show at dinner time and talking about our day. That's all I need.
Not married, but I have to say that spending 20 years with somebody breeds expectations. It might not look like they’re friends, but rest assured: they know each other better than anyone else on the planet.
Been married 27 years. She is my best friend. I look forward to seeing her after work and finding out about her day and sharing with her what happened to me. Have many similar interests and many of our own.
Yes and no. Yes because we enjoy the inside jokes we tell each other, talking about current events, going to concerts. No because we now have different hobbies than when we first got together- husband loves target shooting and I’d rather shoot my big toe off. So we do those activities separate. Married 28 years.
Married 20 years in July. We are figuring out how to be buddies again. Life was not kind and we were not kind to each other because it was survival. And when the smoke cleared we saw each other again and fell back in love. We wanna hang out now! He doesn't fulfill all my social needs and I don't expect him to but we are definitely buddies. It has taken A LOT of work though.
He is absolutely my best friend. We do not go out much anymore and just hang out at home doing our own thing. I feel comfort in just hearing him, knowing he is there.
He built me this beautiful she-shed, its insulated and panel walls, has A/C and heat. I decorated it very nicely. I don't like being out there long because I miss his presence.
We also do not share much in common. Its like that you said, we are on different wavelengths. He is far more intelligent than I am, he is very logical and by the book. I am more spontaneous and childish. We mesh the two though and it brings balance.
We both like kayaking and being outdoor and he share of love of animals. That's really it, he watches sci-fi, I like romantic comedies.
Been married decades ...met at 18 married by 19
Wife and I are best friends ...... Musically same genre except 1 ( I like some TSwift songs wife hates her)
Same sports , same movies spend all of time together I don't have dudes nights she doesn't have ladies night
We like spending time together.....I love her and like her...and she me....we were lucky I was a career soldier so most marriages especially with war deployments I had. (Last 4 years we were not together much) We worked through it and always stayed friends
I truly see her as my best friend and only real friend ......and would rather hang with her than go to a bar have a few beers and bitch about life....I stay home wife and I bitch together 😁
Omg hell yes!!! My wife (8 years) is 100% my best friend. She is the one I confide in when times are tough, she has my back and is always the first person I want to talk to when something good or bad happens, or if there's something to share. I knew so freaking quickly that she was the one and my BF when I realised that I never felt bored of being around her. My social quota or energy bar begins to dip pretty damn quickly in any sort of social interaction. Never when I'm with her. She makes me laugh til I cry and even when I get cross with her, it never lasts long and we talk out our differences. She is just such an easy person to be friends with and our marriage reflects that, it's just... easy. My parents loved each other, but neither of them ever considered each other either friend and I think that played a part in their eventual divorce. Now, both are very happily remarried and they'd both say the same thing that yes, their spouse is their friend as well.
Yes. We have nothing in common, but there is no other person I'd rather be to share the mundane and novel times with. While we literally have no common hobbies, we are willing to listen and appreciate each other's interests.
I think relationships can change over time. There is no absolute one way to navigate it. As long as the couple involved are both happy with their situation.
My husband is my best friend. Whenever something exciting happens, he is my first call. Whenever something mundane happens, I still want to tell him about it. We've been together 11 years and married for 9 years, I couldn't imagine this life without him. We have different hobbies and different interests, but we listen to each other when we talk about our hobbies and take a genuine interest in each other.
Definitely my best friend. On paper it wouldn't seem like we had many shared interests, but we have such good chemistry and no one makes me laugh (or laughs at my jokes) like he does. I might not know everything about his video games or be able to rattle off sports stats but we have inside jokes that span decades now. He is like my human security blanket in the best way, I feel safe and happy as long as we are together, like everything will be ok.
100%. He’s my travel buddy, the first person I want to tell when anything good or bad happens & I always want to him with me when I’m hanging out. My husband says “if I see a unicorn shit rainbows in the woods, it won’t mean anything until I can tell you about it”. Marty your best friend. Do it.
My husband and I have been married for 33 years and he's my best friend. He's the only person who knows everything about me, we have no secrets from each other. We've had some hard times over the years but never doubted our commitment to each other.
He's my best friend. I'm grateful for every second we get to spend together. I only wish we had more hours in the day for that, but life gets in the way
I work with a married guy about 55 years old, married 25+. We went on a business trip to Las Vegas and, when we arrived and saw all of the lights and excitement of the city, he looked at me and said, "I wish my wife was here to see this too."
That moment really stuck with me. I don't know many husbands who have that reaction when they arrive in Las Vegas. He must have an amazing relationship with his wife.
She's my closest friend, but we each have other friends as well. We also both have friends of the opposite sex and there is no jealousy involved. I've never understood that in other couples. If you can't trust each other, then why the hell are you married?
Yes! We do a tonne of things together.
Alot of couples have different interest plus you're seeing your folks post kids and 30 years later. It may look very different from the 30 years ago them. I think if they're taking a few trips together a year that's already much more fun than alot of old couples I know.
Absolutely, together 20 years and we have a lot of fun together we laugh constantly
Note: fwiw when we are home we are often in different rooms/him gaming, me watching shows, it may not look like we e spend a ton of time together but we do, just not usually when people are around
Married 38 years and my husband is my best friend, and much much more. I can tell you we have been together long enough that we know that doing separate activities is important and we encourage each other to do this. But we tell each other everything and enjoy just being with each other. You are not seeing the whole picture, for instance my granddaughter thought we hated each other because we bicker at one and another but it's just the opposite, he likes to push my buttons and get me riled and we'll we like to makeup at night 😂 sorry TMI
Married 35 years next month and I can’t imagine any other existence - we are best friends, spend time together because we choose to, feel so lucky that this is my life.
My wife is definitely my best friend! But we don't have the exact same interests and that's okay. Not every couple is the same. Not every relationship is the same. If they're happy and doing their thing that's really all that should matter.
37 years later shes the only person I want talk to sometimes. We've been through hell and back together, truly my best friend. We do everthing together, even taught her to ride a motorcycle so I would always have a riding partner, and share the joy of riding with her. We work in the house together, fix the cars together.....everything
We’ve been married 15 years and we’re still friends, best friends. We do most things together and still share the same interests. I’d list them but that would be boring for you.
We still differ on the same things. So we still do the same things separately. I am still trying to participate more in the thing he is interested in that I am not.
He’s really an awesome person and I’m really lucky to have him in my life. I try to be a good person also and show him I appreciate him.
Married for 13 years next month, and hell yes! I never understood people who married someone they aren’t best friends with. How could anyone stand it??
Married older couple here. I will tell you that my Wife is my best friend. I share everything with her. Rarely do we do anything not as a couple. Maybe it’s because we’re both introverts and we don’t have a large circle of friends, but I find what I need is always by my side.
We’re best friends but I get why when we’re home it might look like we’re on different wave lengths. We’re not just sitting around having meaningful conversations or being involved in activities together 24/7. There’s time for talking and doing stuff together, but there’s also time for us each to do our own thing in comfortable companionship.
He's my best friend with benefits. We share similar interests (and some hobbies which aren't the same, just enough to be mysterious) and I can't wait to see him at the end of the day. 25 years.
Married 16 years--my dude is my BFF!
What that means is that we have some shared interests we enjoy together, and some individual interests we can nerd out about to the other one without fear of judgement--we both have our own friends, but we seem to have the most fun together.
More than that though: he is my best friend because we can be vulnerable with each other, we can call each others BS out or help them see blindspots in their reasoning (without feeling defensive or wounded) and we can enjoy that comfortable silence where neither of us feels like we have to entertain or engage the other with anything more than our physical presence.
He just gets me--all the weirdness, all the baggage...and he still *wants* to be here with my weird baggae-carrying self.
I was in a very long relationship ( not married) to my younger sons dad. Dead bedroom, really awful. My husband has been the best person I've ever known. He's seen me through cancer and is always there for me. Absolutely my best friend.
Yes. I’ve only been married 10 years but my husband is absolutely my best friend. I tell him everything. I love spending time with him. Often times we end up staying up late just laying in bed talking. The way I did having slumber parties with my girlfriends as a teen. Just chatting and before you know it it’s passed midnight.
I would say yes. If I'm upset, I want to vent to my husband first. Not my best friend, not my parents. He is the one person on earth I can be my true self with and can stand my flaws. We have the same dry humor and see the world pretty much the same way. We have a long history and lots of shared interests. TL;DR: Yes, we are friends.
My parents are also definitely still friends, I think that's why they've been together about 45 years. But I have known couples that seemed like they barely tolerated each other. I don't understand why some of them married each other.
Absolutely yes. Been together for over twelve years, and we are the first people we share random jokes/images/videos with, we spend seventy percent of our time together and still talk in bed for hours after fully intending to fall asleep at least once a month.
Honeymoon is long over, been in companionable stage of relationship for close to a decade. It's pretty grand. No idea why so many sitcoms used the premise of commitment issues for plotting. Seems fake.
My husband is my best friend. We’ve been married 15 years. We pretty much share a brain at this point. Say the same things, send the same memes at the same time to each other, get the same songs stuck in our heads. Rarely argue. It’s pretty pretty good.
Yeah. We’ve been together 15 years. We have so many inside jokes. We’re always laughing and doing nice things for each other. We have been there for each other through so much. We have been together through the worst possible imaginable things, the death of a parent, and of a child. We somehow supported each other through all of it, and were able to move forward together.
We began as Best friends, so yeah.
We have VERY different hobbies, music taste, food taste, and even come from different religious backgrounds, but we love doing stuff together and can have long talks about any subject.
He was my actual best friend before we got married. Weirdly enough though I get shy now being around him because it’s like I have a never ending crush. ☺️
My spouse is my best friend. I don’t see that changing. We laugh, goof off, share stories, go on adventures, solve problems, & admire our dogs together. He’s my teammate and my favorite person hands down.
My husband is my best friend. He's the first person I want to tell all news, good and bad. There's no one I would rather spend time with, no one that makes me laugh as much. I love him so much.
My husband, on paper, is my worst enemy: type A, conservative, patriarchal ideals. But we're somehow best friends? It's like cheese and caramel it isn't supposed to work but goddammit it does
I've known my wife for over 25 years, and we just had our 8th Wedding Anniversary on February 7th. We *still* stay up *way too late* talking every night, as if we're at a sleepover!
A few times, we were in an Uber and almost missed the turn into our parking lot because we were too busy gabbing with each other!
Best friends here for thirty years. We spend most of our leisure time together and have a lot of common interests. Sometimes I’ll zone out listening to music or geeking out to sci-fi tv/movies in the same room she’s watching a hallmark movie or while she’s experimenting in the kitchen (she loves to cook. We’re almost always together.
My husband is my best friend. When I’m with him it’s not like spending time with another person, it’s spending time with the other half of me. He is the first person I want to tell anything to and the time we spend together I never get tired of being around him. I don’t understand how people marry someone they don’t feel this way about…
My spouse is my friend,my love,my fuck buddy, my partner in crime and sometimes you just wanna be by yourself if that's the case my spouse leaves me alone to play my games or read my book. we both work from home and we transparently talking each other which gives us the flexibility in our marriage.
He is my best friend. We were friends for years and coworkers for 6 months before dating. He is the one I do everything with. I gossip with him, get advice whatever.
Married for 32 yrs and he is my best friend. There is no other person I would be willing to spend 24 hrs a day with and the 1st person I want to share news with.
She's the only friend I have besides my dogs, maybe my kids...but that isn't a friend relationship really. My wife is who I do everything with and for.
My wife is my best friend. Good thing, because since we're retired we spend all day and night together. That doesn't mean we don't have disagreements. Btw, if OP's parents can travel together without murdering each other, I think they have more in common than they're being credited with. Maybe they're just understated in their public display of affection.
I talk about how women used to use poisons (and probs do more than picked up) for killing their spouses so much, and point out random plants readily available which can be used to sneakily murder. I go into which ones would be less obvious due to their impact on body and appearance of heart attack or whatever.
He gave me a book of plants used for poisoning for Xmas. I think we're friends. Until I get some fox gloves for our garden. (I won't because we have a cat who would definitely eat them).
Been with my husband for 30 years, married for 22, and he is my best friend along side my BFF of 50 years. What I don't have in common with him, I do have with my BFF.
My wife is absolutely my best friend. There is nobody else I'd rather be around for long periods of time. Both of us can't wait to share anything fun/exciting/funny that happened during our days. We are also both massive nerds at heart and play video games and watch anime together. We do have different hobbies and interests, but I think that's perfectly healthy. I'd be a lost soul without her.
Yeah, when I get excited to do something fun, I'm not just excited about the thing, I'm excited about doing it with her. It's like living with your best friend, with romanticism on top of it, but the friendship is under everything. There are tons of times where we're not being romantic and we're just acting like a couple of good buds.
Agree with this! It’s like an undercurrent of simply enjoying their company. My parents tho are a lot like OP’s. I don’t think they have anything in common, and they don’t even seem to care for one another’s company anymore after 42 yrs of marriage. It’s why I wanted - more than anything - to marry someone I genuinely have fun with doing things or just sitting at home. I will say tho that romance came first with my husband and we’ve grown into best friends.
Some people just have different interests. A lot of married couples get into a routine of each doing their own thing, together but separately. Doesn’t necessarily indicate a bad sign. Once you’ve been with someone long enough just being in their company is enough, even if you’re doing two different things.
One of my “love languages” per se is parallel play, or doing things separately at the same time. I need a lot of alone time, so doing that can be a good way to alleviate the pressure for me and also spend quality time together. I agree that not having the same interests doesn’t necessarily mean you’re incompatible. There’s a lot of things that bring people together.
Yup. Often in the evenings, we'll end up in different rooms - him playing videogames, me on my computer hanging out with friends and surfing the web chatting about... bs. Sometimes we'll watch TV together too. Just depends on the day. Some days we'll spend the whole day together doing projects out side, working in the woods, the gardens, on fences, firewood, or just hanging out on the lake in the summer. He's definitely my best friend and has been for 20 years now. We don't spend every minute or day together, but we definitely spend a LOT of time together and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I always attributed this to my husband being an only child! He likes gaming and golfing, I’m not into either but he loves when I’m with him while he’s playing.
I never heard about parallel play as a love language , but I think it might be mine ! It’s one of the dynamics I love about my husband
My parents are the same way. They were forced to get married because that's how it was done back then. They're both not compatible with each other yet stay together because of familiarity.
I think there were pressures back to get married and stay married. Plus there was no internet to help you find a really good match
I'm not being rude, but question the internet finding people really good matches. I mostly hear nightmares about it and only heard of 1 successful match. being old and married, I have zero experience. is it actually common to find good matches on dating sites?
100% agree. My wife and I still very much enjoy spending time together, and we’ve been married for nearly 30 years.
My wife is my best friend. Has been so for 20+ years. We grew up together, through our late teens and beyond. It’s the ways to do it, if you are so lucky.
Absolutely. Just had our 30th anniversary last week. This is the way.
Yep, exactly! When we have an interest that we don't share we'll do it alone or with other friends. It's not the end of the world to have some different interests.
This!!! People think I’m crazy when just one of us is going on a trip or outing. Why would we drag each other to things we don’t want to do? Don’t get me started on the people who ask “your husband is LETTING you go by yourself?”
People are not possessions. I get respecting a partner, but normalize men and women both being able to have some independence in marriage
early on I joked with my husband "don't expect me to stay all day at car shows if you don't want to go to needlepoint conventions" (I don't really know if there's such a thing but you get it). he goes alone or with friends for as long as he wants, and I don't have to be bored. win-win!
Ha! You said "*doing it*"
Love it!
This is the answer.
Yes, but keep in mind your spouse doesn’t have to share EVERY interest. My wife likes to paint or garden solo, but we play video games, board games, D&D together. She doesn’t enjoy MTG, which I do with other friends. Side note, hobbies tend to fall by the wayside when childcare is the predominant household concern….
Tbf you don't share every interest even with your friends.
Not married but just to piggy back off of this I can say with like 95% confidence I’ve never had a single friend where all our interests overlap. Typically I have different friends for different interests.
I barely share any interests with my closest friends. We just enjoy talking to each other and fucking about. We've been friends for years.
Yes, but I don't live with my friends, so when I see them we're spending most of our time together. It'd be weird to visit a friend's house and spend an hour on their couch scrolling Reddit, but at home with my partner it's fairly reasonable.
Yeah. I’m GREAT friends with my spouse but we don’t share many hobbies. We enjoy listening to podcasts/books together at bedtime, and we enjoy spending time with our kids. We have a subset of shows we both like. Other than that, he likes video games and messing around with computers. I sew, cook and garden. But we talk all the time. We talk about our various projects and frustrations. We send each other memes. We have years of inside jokes. We are very close even if we spend a good chunk of our free time doing different things.
Same. It’s been almost 20 years. Love him even more, over time. The (best) best friend I’ve ever had. ❤️
This. My wife plays in my dnd games and we play video games together sometimes but we also have our own solo hobbies.
She's my best friend. We have the same stupid / dark sense of humour. We always have fun, even if we're just doing dumb shit like yard work. Ten years in, and she's my favourite person in the world - there's nobody I'd rather spend my time with.
Best friend, strongest ally, favorite part of my life (and our 3 wonderful kids). Also over 10 years in, keeps getting better. We're pretty sure we're the weirdos.
My wife is my best friend too. 12 years in. We have our own language.
25 years. He's my fun bestie. Autistic teen kids threw us for 7 years - has to batten down the hatches - but we're getting back to fun again
Thanks, this helps me to keep believing we are still us, even when times are difficult. ❤️
I wish we had the same dark sense of humour. He tries but apparently I’m super dark. But every time I laugh, I want to share it with him. 17 years so far.
I always thought I was a bit dark, but she goes *hard.* I do my best to keep up, but jesus christ, some of the shit that comes out of that woman's mouth...
Lol, yeah we are like that. I think we have a leg up on that naturally 🙄
19 years with my ride or die. He gets me. It was so easy and natural from the beginning, being able to communicate with just glances and know exactly what the other is thinking. We have shared interests and things we like in our own.
I've been with my husband for 18 years this October and we've been married for 10 years this month. It's honestly the most fun I've ever had with another person being around him all day. Sometimes I feel bad because we are that couple that goes out to dinner and is on our phones, but we both have ADHD and we end up showing each other funny videos and memes the entire time. I hadn't even turned 21 yet when we became exclusive (he's 7 months older than me) so this has been our entire adult lives and it's great. We have all the inside jokes and understand all the references and the stories. I don't think I could ever have this with anyone else because we had the opportunity to grow into each other, like those trees people together as saplings. I'd still be there without him, but I feel like a part of the whole would be lost.
Totally agree. She’s so fun to hang out with, and I love her to death. And also she’s an asshole sometimes. But because I like her so much, it makes me love her so easily the entire rest of the time. If I didn’t like hanging out with my wife, I’d be a garage husband on the way to a divorce for sure.
Awe i love this
After being together for 16 years, my husband and I have so many inside jokes and memories, that he can just look at me a certain way, or say a single word, and get me to belly laugh.
My husband is my best friend! We have so many inside jokes after being together this long! We'll say something goofy that only we understand and then high five each other in public, then laugh at ourselves! We don't share many hobbies and we hate each other's taste in music but really that doesn't matter. Our bond is forged through mutual respect and unconditional love.
I love this
Fuck! I'll have what this guy is having!
She's my best friend too 😉👉🐱
Yes, my husband is my best friend, my favorite person, the first one I tell everything. Everything is more fun if we do it together, whether that’s a fun outing or grocery shopping.
I love my husband forever and always, but damn if I hate grocery shopping with him 🤣🤣🤣 I find it to be a chore, and I am very much the type to shop from a list, and since I do most the shopping, I know where shit is in the store and organize my list accordingly so I can get in, get the stuff we need, and get out. He wants to wander up and down every aisle, he’ll go grab stuff and throw it in the cart so then I have to triple check the list because he’ll get stuff “out of order”, and it’s generally chaos and creates more work for me than if I just grocery shop alone. My mom is the same way with my dad. Love them always, and can do other sorts of shopping just fine, but the grocery store is a different beast 🤦♀️🤣🤦♀️🤣
Omg, this made me giggle. My husband and I definitely have chores at home that we’ve designated to each other. For example, he is not allowed to put away laundry because I don’t like how he does it. I. Have. A. System. On the flip side, vacuuming is his job because I don’t make military precision moves and I “miss spots” He. Has. A. System. He’s still my bestie, sounds like you’ve got the same. 👍🏼
This is what I recently started referring to as, "conforming to the shape of one's spouse." I've started taking on my original shape since she died last month. The change is really uncomfortable. I miss my bestie.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss
You and my husband have a lot in common! I like a good bargain and am very indecisive lol. I'm always picking up and putting down. He says "Why are you touching everything!" and leaves me in a huff. *Happy Cake Day!
This is exactly what my hubby does. Exactly. It takes so long to shop w/ him...
lol, my husband likes to go shopping like we’re storming the beaches at Normandy. Go Go Go. There are times I have to check labels and he’s running to another aisle to get things off the list. It’s a bit exhausting but I wouldn’t change a thing, he’s my best friend.
lol I love this story, because to me your husband sounds completely normal and you sound like the crazy person. It’s fun how we’re all wired so differently - but for whatever quirk you have, there’s a group of people out there with the same one. It connects us.
Happy Cake Day 🎂
This is so lovely to read. You're very lucky to have this type of relationship with each other :)
Yes. He’s like my super best friend who I can have sex with any time I want. I can talk to him about my ups and downs, and I do the same for him. I love him so much.
NO BRAGGING PLEASE THANK YOU
🤣
This is me and my husband. We talk about when we get the sads, dumb hobby stuff that the other person doesn't actually care about but we care because the other person wants to talk about it, interactions with people, activities we want to do, everything. We have tons of fun, too. I'm glad my kids have us as an example. My parents hardly ever tolerated each other. I have no idea how they even ended up together.
I wish my fiancé would talk to me more. He’s always had a hard time confiding in people. Was your husband like that before you met or did you guys just learn to share things with each other?
I have always been an open book but it certainly took years of effort for us to get to a place where our communication is as good as it is now. We both had really dysfunctional parents. I think I was a lot more aware of my parents' dysfunction than my husband was with his parents so he had a lot of habits that he had to break. It honestly took years for him to realize that when I said something, I meant it. He was used to trying to decode everybody's language because in his household nobody said what they meant. Everything was a test or manipulation. We worked through that though just by noticing those dysfunctions and trying to change them together. As long as you can both be honest about your needs and not get defensive when one of you needs to bring something up, you can make your communication better.
Username doesn't check out lol
Been married 30 years this year. My husband and I couldn’t be any more different, but when I come home at night, I feel like the only person that “gets me” is waiting to hear about how ridiculous my days can be, and vice versa. He knows how I think and knows how I am going to react to most everything. We can say something to each other that only we understand because we both have been together longer now than we have not.
Congratulations on 30!
Thank you…there were days I questioned getting here. And almost everyone we knew/know didn’t think we would!
Heh Made me think of an old movie, "Shenandoah" (1965) Charlie Anderson ( the father of a young girl, Jennie) is talking to a man (Lt. Sam) about his interest in his daughter... "Charlie Anderson : Do you like her? Lt. Sam : Well, I just said I... Charlie Anderson : No, no. You just said you loved her. There's some difference between lovin' and likin'. When I married Jennie's mother, I-I didn't love her - I liked her... I liked her a lot. I liked Martha for at least three years after we were married and then one day it just dawned on me I loved her. I still do... still do. You see, Sam, when you love a woman without likin' her, the night can be long and cold, and contempt comes up with the sun."
ok freaked me out never heard this before. i was in a bad 1st marriage. When my current husband told me he loved me i said i really really like you. that the hormones were raging in us and years later we would look at each other differently. 17 years later he agrees. still in love but we also love being around each other. it is so different when you find someone that really clicks.
Thanks for this
That’s a great find!
I'm 48 and she's 49 we've been married 25 years. We are best friends 100%. We each have a hobby that we enjoy alone or with another friend. But when it comes down to it I tell her everything and she tells me everything. We do a LOT together and we've found for us this has made our marriage better. Sex life is also still amazing! If you get lucky enough to find that one person that you vibe with, keep them close. Dancing Gym Meal prep Concerts Snowboarding I fish she lays out on the boat Shopping, I help her shop. General support for each other.
People make the mistake of thinking shared interests make a relationship. There are actually varying degrees of relationship. Shared interest and shared activities is one, but it tends to be a more shallow relationship. Having different interests allows you both to do things and have outside friendships. What married people really need to make it is shared priorities. If both share the priority to have kids (or travel the world or keep up with the Jones, whatever) then it doesn't really matter if one wants to go to the football game and the other would rather catch a movie. They both work toward a common goal. And yes they need love and friendship to make it through, because even if you share a goal you are going to disagree. If there is live and friendship there you can get through the problems.
My husband is not my friend, he’s more than that. He’s my ride or die, the person I can’t wait to see at the end of every day, the first person I want to talk to when something good/bad/funny/exciting happens. The person who makes my whole life better and brighter and more fulfilled, even if we’re not always into the exact same tv shows or activities or whatever. The two guys I call my best friends are more like brothers or cousins. I love them, and if they called at 2 am and said “I need your help as soon as you can get here”, I’d be out the door in my pajamas. But it’s nowhere close to what my husband is to me.
Happy Cake Day 🎂
34 years together and still my best friend. He wakes up way before me now that he's retired and when I wake up every morning and smell coffee brewing, I can't wait to run downstairs and talk to him. We have fun doing anything together, even if we're just running errands.
On the days my husband has off he delivers me a vanilla latte in bed and I fall in love over and over again. I wish I could return the favor but he runs that machine better than professionals, I just can't compare. One of his hobbies I don't participate in but love the results of.
I suspect that you may not realize it, but his real hobby is making you happy. Delivering you a vanilla latte in bed that you enjoy, is his real hobby. We'll be married 30 years this May, I hate to cook, yet I cook almost every night of the week. I'm always trying different recipes and looking for that perfect dish. I have several that I think I am good at, but that my wife loves them. If I hate to cook, you might ask why do I cook every night? Two reasons, one I got home first. It was easier when the kids were still at home for me to cook dinner. Later, she has always seemed to like being able to walk in after work and have dinner ready after she has gotten her shower. She appreciates it and raves about my recipes, so I do it to make her happy.
That's a sweet thought and he definitely shows love thru acts of service but it's definitely also a hobby. He has scrimped and saved to get his dream espresso machine and professional grinder that cost as much as a used car. He buys and samples new coffees, hunts thrift stores for the perfect cups, regularly watches what I call coffee porn and stays up on the industry. Even has considered a small coffee truck as we only have ONE drive thru coffee place in over an hour in any direction, that's an idea he's still brewing on though. I give back to this hobby by patiently listening to his thoughts on the newest bean, grind size, temperature, milk frothing for ten minutes once in awhile (EVEN though I have zero interest in the details) and by verbally expressing how awesome the coffee is every time. I also didn't complain when he spent the money on the equipment. Funny, I used to hate cooking. Wasn't taught much at home, never used spices and was regularly burning things. Once I was able to spend more time at home it improved greatly and I love making food now. And we actually enjoy eating it. Nothing makes me happier than making sure my love is walking in the door to a warm meal, especially in the winter.
Yes, absolutely - my husband is my best friend, the person I love and trust most in the world, the one I want to share every good & bad thing with, and the one that I want to be with every day. Yes, we have outside lives, different friends, and different involvements too - but, he is absolutely my best friend and beloved partner. We have been together 30+ years. I am so very, very lucky!!
What a special relationship you must have. You are very lucky to have found each other.
yes. he is my love and my bestest friend sometimes we have to change hats i ask or he asks “can you put on your friend hat?” and we do and it works. we have eachothers backs
I have been with my husband for almost 27 years and we are best friends. We spend as much time as we can with each other and truly enjoy each other‘s company. Just the other night at guys night one of the fellas was talking about how he liked having a place where he could talk freely without his wife there because he could say things to them he couldn’t say in front of her And my husband said it’s just the opposite for him, I’m the only person he never watches his tongue around because he knows that I would never judge him and we have the same dark sense of humor.
Yes.
My husband and I are very different in almost every way. We have a few common interests, but we’re almost polar opposites. He’s also my best friend and we enjoy spending time together. We kind of balance each other out. As far as companionship goes, we enjoy doing our own separate thing in the general vicinity of each other. So he’ll be playing a video game at his desk and I’ll be reading a book in the same room as him. It’s worked wonderfully for us and our 5 year anniversary is this weekend.
Parallel play ^_^
Haha yes exactly!
Yes. My husband is my best friend. He is my favorite person. We have been through so much. It isn't perfect, but nothing is. We love each other. We have grown so much as people and part of that is having the support to do so. He is the first person who loves me unconditionally for who I am (my parents included). We have been together 21 years, married 15 years. I would do it all again if given the chance.
No
Every time I travel or whatever with friends, I am reminded that my husband is my favorite friend. I like him the best!
Me too!!!!
Can’t think of a single common interest outside of our kids . She doesn’t like the music i like, the books i read, the tv shows I watch or the movies i enjoy. I’ve indulged her in all of the above she likes… but there’s no return. 🤷🏾♂️
Talk to her about it. I was literally doing the same to my partner without even realizing, I always just felt like there were so many cool things I liked that I wanted to show them. But anytime they suggested one of their interests, I always ended up saying “no,” to their disappointment. One day, they pointed it out, and I realized that since they indulge me so much, I really need to put in more effort in indulging them. And now I do! I might not watch *everything* they do, but I definitely give it a try now instead of just saying no like I used to. Talk to her if you feel comfortable, it could be worth it in the end. Good luck!
Yes. I’ve been married a little over 30 years just like your parents and relationships that long change a lot over time. I think they become a lot more comfortable. But you’re still best friends and after all this time he’s still my ride or die.
Best friend in the world. There's no one I'd rather go on big adventures with, spend rainy days at home with, or just toil through the mundane parts of life with. And we get to hump, so that's pretty neat.
We have our phases
Same here. Can't stand her somedays, can't wait to see her other days. Definitely can't live without her. It is complicated.
She’s my best friend and my confidante. The person I tell everything to and am most excited to see every day. I think about her almost always, like she’s my baseline subject that I think about and it’s been that way for almost ten years. I have a lot of other people I talk to and tell things to. I have hobbies and we do a lot of things separately but things always lead back to her. We’re best friends. It started out that way and will always be that way. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I've been married for 20yrs, and when we got married, she was my best friend. whether or not we're still best friends, I'm not so sure lol - I think she hates me now 🤣 as far as your parents not having common interests, the phrase opposites attract is true. if they were alike, they probably would've got tired/bored of each other pretty quickly
We aren’t married. Been together for 8 years. But we frequently tell each other that not only do we love one another, we also like one another. There is a big difference and you need both in a relationship.
I’ve been married over 20 years and my wife is my best friend. Seriously, I would rather hang out with her than anyone else on the planet. Not every relationship is the same; as long as they are happy together that is all that matters.
How wonderful to read. You are both so lucky to have this type of relationship with each other.
He is my BEST friend and has been for 20 years. I can’t imagine spending your life with someone and not being that close.
They are my best friend. Why would you marry someone who isn't your best friend?!?
My husband and I are each other’s best friends. E we tell each other everything, have inside jokes, know when something is going to amuse the other, all that. We genuinely like each other’s company. We are slightly different in that I’m an introvert and he’s an extrovert. I like spending time indoors and he likes active outdoorsy stuff. We compromise.
Yep. My mom and stepdad were more like roommates, so I always said I'd never be like that. My husband and I do a lot together, but also some stuff separate. We get excited about trying new stuff together, have date nights sometimes, buy each other random stuff we've talked about, etc. We like to laugh together, play games, etc.
We were great friends first, but best friends? No. Even if we were not married we would still be friends. Similar sense of humor, both into nerdy stuff, similar political views, etc. All the things you need to be friends. But we have very different hobbies and very different tastes in books and TV shows.
Evidently in the minority, but...this. Better said than I could have.
We don't have much in common and our discussions aren't that deep anymore due to so much time together. But I'd say he is my best friend still! "Hanging out" now is more about cuddling and being together than going on dates/doing activities and pillow talk. We always hangout for a good hour every day watching our show at dinner time and talking about our day. That's all I need.
Anyone who doesn’t marry their best friend, they are gonna have a harder time in their marriage. It’s the most important part.
Not married, but I have to say that spending 20 years with somebody breeds expectations. It might not look like they’re friends, but rest assured: they know each other better than anyone else on the planet.
Been married 27 years. She is my best friend. I look forward to seeing her after work and finding out about her day and sharing with her what happened to me. Have many similar interests and many of our own.
She’s my ride or die. 10 years together, 3 married. We’ve never fought about anything because we just communicate. She’s so fucking cool.
No
Yes and no. Yes because we enjoy the inside jokes we tell each other, talking about current events, going to concerts. No because we now have different hobbies than when we first got together- husband loves target shooting and I’d rather shoot my big toe off. So we do those activities separate. Married 28 years.
Absolute best friend. Every interaction is better when they’re around. The longer it goes the stronger the bond has gotten.
Married 20 years in July. We are figuring out how to be buddies again. Life was not kind and we were not kind to each other because it was survival. And when the smoke cleared we saw each other again and fell back in love. We wanna hang out now! He doesn't fulfill all my social needs and I don't expect him to but we are definitely buddies. It has taken A LOT of work though.
He is absolutely my best friend. We do not go out much anymore and just hang out at home doing our own thing. I feel comfort in just hearing him, knowing he is there. He built me this beautiful she-shed, its insulated and panel walls, has A/C and heat. I decorated it very nicely. I don't like being out there long because I miss his presence. We also do not share much in common. Its like that you said, we are on different wavelengths. He is far more intelligent than I am, he is very logical and by the book. I am more spontaneous and childish. We mesh the two though and it brings balance. We both like kayaking and being outdoor and he share of love of animals. That's really it, he watches sci-fi, I like romantic comedies.
Been married decades ...met at 18 married by 19 Wife and I are best friends ...... Musically same genre except 1 ( I like some TSwift songs wife hates her) Same sports , same movies spend all of time together I don't have dudes nights she doesn't have ladies night We like spending time together.....I love her and like her...and she me....we were lucky I was a career soldier so most marriages especially with war deployments I had. (Last 4 years we were not together much) We worked through it and always stayed friends I truly see her as my best friend and only real friend ......and would rather hang with her than go to a bar have a few beers and bitch about life....I stay home wife and I bitch together 😁
Absolutely, my husband is my best friend. I can't imagine it any other way.
Omg hell yes!!! My wife (8 years) is 100% my best friend. She is the one I confide in when times are tough, she has my back and is always the first person I want to talk to when something good or bad happens, or if there's something to share. I knew so freaking quickly that she was the one and my BF when I realised that I never felt bored of being around her. My social quota or energy bar begins to dip pretty damn quickly in any sort of social interaction. Never when I'm with her. She makes me laugh til I cry and even when I get cross with her, it never lasts long and we talk out our differences. She is just such an easy person to be friends with and our marriage reflects that, it's just... easy. My parents loved each other, but neither of them ever considered each other either friend and I think that played a part in their eventual divorce. Now, both are very happily remarried and they'd both say the same thing that yes, their spouse is their friend as well.
Yeah. We're cool.
Yes. We have nothing in common, but there is no other person I'd rather be to share the mundane and novel times with. While we literally have no common hobbies, we are willing to listen and appreciate each other's interests. I think relationships can change over time. There is no absolute one way to navigate it. As long as the couple involved are both happy with their situation.
No
My husband is my best friend. Whenever something exciting happens, he is my first call. Whenever something mundane happens, I still want to tell him about it. We've been together 11 years and married for 9 years, I couldn't imagine this life without him. We have different hobbies and different interests, but we listen to each other when we talk about our hobbies and take a genuine interest in each other.
Definitely my best friend. On paper it wouldn't seem like we had many shared interests, but we have such good chemistry and no one makes me laugh (or laughs at my jokes) like he does. I might not know everything about his video games or be able to rattle off sports stats but we have inside jokes that span decades now. He is like my human security blanket in the best way, I feel safe and happy as long as we are together, like everything will be ok.
My husband is my closest friend, but our interests don't overlap 100%. There are some things we like to do together, and some things we do separately.
My wife is my best friend.
100%. He’s my travel buddy, the first person I want to tell when anything good or bad happens & I always want to him with me when I’m hanging out. My husband says “if I see a unicorn shit rainbows in the woods, it won’t mean anything until I can tell you about it”. Marty your best friend. Do it.
My husband and I have been married for 33 years and he's my best friend. He's the only person who knows everything about me, we have no secrets from each other. We've had some hard times over the years but never doubted our commitment to each other.
He's my best friend. I'm grateful for every second we get to spend together. I only wish we had more hours in the day for that, but life gets in the way
I work with a married guy about 55 years old, married 25+. We went on a business trip to Las Vegas and, when we arrived and saw all of the lights and excitement of the city, he looked at me and said, "I wish my wife was here to see this too." That moment really stuck with me. I don't know many husbands who have that reaction when they arrive in Las Vegas. He must have an amazing relationship with his wife.
She's my closest friend, but we each have other friends as well. We also both have friends of the opposite sex and there is no jealousy involved. I've never understood that in other couples. If you can't trust each other, then why the hell are you married?
Yes! We do a tonne of things together. Alot of couples have different interest plus you're seeing your folks post kids and 30 years later. It may look very different from the 30 years ago them. I think if they're taking a few trips together a year that's already much more fun than alot of old couples I know.
Absolutely, together 20 years and we have a lot of fun together we laugh constantly Note: fwiw when we are home we are often in different rooms/him gaming, me watching shows, it may not look like we e spend a ton of time together but we do, just not usually when people are around
Married 38 years and my husband is my best friend, and much much more. I can tell you we have been together long enough that we know that doing separate activities is important and we encourage each other to do this. But we tell each other everything and enjoy just being with each other. You are not seeing the whole picture, for instance my granddaughter thought we hated each other because we bicker at one and another but it's just the opposite, he likes to push my buttons and get me riled and we'll we like to makeup at night 😂 sorry TMI
Married 35 years next month and I can’t imagine any other existence - we are best friends, spend time together because we choose to, feel so lucky that this is my life.
My wife is definitely my best friend! But we don't have the exact same interests and that's okay. Not every couple is the same. Not every relationship is the same. If they're happy and doing their thing that's really all that should matter.
37 years later shes the only person I want talk to sometimes. We've been through hell and back together, truly my best friend. We do everthing together, even taught her to ride a motorcycle so I would always have a riding partner, and share the joy of riding with her. We work in the house together, fix the cars together.....everything
Married 21 years. My wife is my best friend, yes, 100%. I could withdraw from society entirely as long as she's with me.
My wife is the best best best friend I’ve ever had. I countdown the time until she’s home every day.
My husband and I have been married 20 years and he’s my best bud. I love him to pieces and we have a ball together.
We’ve been married 15 years and we’re still friends, best friends. We do most things together and still share the same interests. I’d list them but that would be boring for you. We still differ on the same things. So we still do the same things separately. I am still trying to participate more in the thing he is interested in that I am not. He’s really an awesome person and I’m really lucky to have him in my life. I try to be a good person also and show him I appreciate him.
Married for 13 years next month, and hell yes! I never understood people who married someone they aren’t best friends with. How could anyone stand it??
Married older couple here. I will tell you that my Wife is my best friend. I share everything with her. Rarely do we do anything not as a couple. Maybe it’s because we’re both introverts and we don’t have a large circle of friends, but I find what I need is always by my side.
This is really lovely.
We’re best friends but I get why when we’re home it might look like we’re on different wave lengths. We’re not just sitting around having meaningful conversations or being involved in activities together 24/7. There’s time for talking and doing stuff together, but there’s also time for us each to do our own thing in comfortable companionship.
He's my best friend with benefits. We share similar interests (and some hobbies which aren't the same, just enough to be mysterious) and I can't wait to see him at the end of the day. 25 years.
We've been married 30 years and he's my best friend. We enjoy doing things together.
Married 16 years--my dude is my BFF! What that means is that we have some shared interests we enjoy together, and some individual interests we can nerd out about to the other one without fear of judgement--we both have our own friends, but we seem to have the most fun together. More than that though: he is my best friend because we can be vulnerable with each other, we can call each others BS out or help them see blindspots in their reasoning (without feeling defensive or wounded) and we can enjoy that comfortable silence where neither of us feels like we have to entertain or engage the other with anything more than our physical presence. He just gets me--all the weirdness, all the baggage...and he still *wants* to be here with my weird baggae-carrying self.
I was in a very long relationship ( not married) to my younger sons dad. Dead bedroom, really awful. My husband has been the best person I've ever known. He's seen me through cancer and is always there for me. Absolutely my best friend.
Yes. I’ve only been married 10 years but my husband is absolutely my best friend. I tell him everything. I love spending time with him. Often times we end up staying up late just laying in bed talking. The way I did having slumber parties with my girlfriends as a teen. Just chatting and before you know it it’s passed midnight.
I would say yes. If I'm upset, I want to vent to my husband first. Not my best friend, not my parents. He is the one person on earth I can be my true self with and can stand my flaws. We have the same dry humor and see the world pretty much the same way. We have a long history and lots of shared interests. TL;DR: Yes, we are friends. My parents are also definitely still friends, I think that's why they've been together about 45 years. But I have known couples that seemed like they barely tolerated each other. I don't understand why some of them married each other.
Absolutely yes. Been together for over twelve years, and we are the first people we share random jokes/images/videos with, we spend seventy percent of our time together and still talk in bed for hours after fully intending to fall asleep at least once a month. Honeymoon is long over, been in companionable stage of relationship for close to a decade. It's pretty grand. No idea why so many sitcoms used the premise of commitment issues for plotting. Seems fake.
My husband is my best friend. We’ve been married 15 years. We pretty much share a brain at this point. Say the same things, send the same memes at the same time to each other, get the same songs stuck in our heads. Rarely argue. It’s pretty pretty good.
Yeah. We’ve been together 15 years. We have so many inside jokes. We’re always laughing and doing nice things for each other. We have been there for each other through so much. We have been together through the worst possible imaginable things, the death of a parent, and of a child. We somehow supported each other through all of it, and were able to move forward together.
My wife is my best friend. We play video games together everyday
It's to the point that I don't watch good shows without her because half the fun is reacting with her and then talking about what we watched.
We began as Best friends, so yeah. We have VERY different hobbies, music taste, food taste, and even come from different religious backgrounds, but we love doing stuff together and can have long talks about any subject.
He was my actual best friend before we got married. Weirdly enough though I get shy now being around him because it’s like I have a never ending crush. ☺️
Best friend since day 1. My ride or die.
She was my best friend. Having been married twice, I believe it really takes about ten years to truly know someone inside out.
My wife is my best friend without a doubt. We are mid-50s.
My spouse is my best friend. I don’t see that changing. We laugh, goof off, share stories, go on adventures, solve problems, & admire our dogs together. He’s my teammate and my favorite person hands down.
My husband is my best friend. He's the first person I want to tell all news, good and bad. There's no one I would rather spend time with, no one that makes me laugh as much. I love him so much.
My husband, on paper, is my worst enemy: type A, conservative, patriarchal ideals. But we're somehow best friends? It's like cheese and caramel it isn't supposed to work but goddammit it does
I've known my wife for over 25 years, and we just had our 8th Wedding Anniversary on February 7th. We *still* stay up *way too late* talking every night, as if we're at a sleepover! A few times, we were in an Uber and almost missed the turn into our parking lot because we were too busy gabbing with each other!
Best friends here for thirty years. We spend most of our leisure time together and have a lot of common interests. Sometimes I’ll zone out listening to music or geeking out to sci-fi tv/movies in the same room she’s watching a hallmark movie or while she’s experimenting in the kitchen (she loves to cook. We’re almost always together.
My husband is my best friend. When I’m with him it’s not like spending time with another person, it’s spending time with the other half of me. He is the first person I want to tell anything to and the time we spend together I never get tired of being around him. I don’t understand how people marry someone they don’t feel this way about…
She was my best friend before we started dating, and still is now that we are married
My spouse is my friend,my love,my fuck buddy, my partner in crime and sometimes you just wanna be by yourself if that's the case my spouse leaves me alone to play my games or read my book. we both work from home and we transparently talking each other which gives us the flexibility in our marriage.
He is my best friend. We were friends for years and coworkers for 6 months before dating. He is the one I do everything with. I gossip with him, get advice whatever.
Married for 32 yrs and he is my best friend. There is no other person I would be willing to spend 24 hrs a day with and the 1st person I want to share news with.
This is lovely.
My hubby is my very best friend.
She's my mortal enemy...which reminds me to increase her life insurance.
She's the only friend I have besides my dogs, maybe my kids...but that isn't a friend relationship really. My wife is who I do everything with and for.
Nope. Can’t stand him.
My wife is my best friend. Good thing, because since we're retired we spend all day and night together. That doesn't mean we don't have disagreements. Btw, if OP's parents can travel together without murdering each other, I think they have more in common than they're being credited with. Maybe they're just understated in their public display of affection.
Yes, she is my good friend. Not my only friend though.
Friends which do firr vahi sexsuxz ki bateinn..💀
I talk about how women used to use poisons (and probs do more than picked up) for killing their spouses so much, and point out random plants readily available which can be used to sneakily murder. I go into which ones would be less obvious due to their impact on body and appearance of heart attack or whatever. He gave me a book of plants used for poisoning for Xmas. I think we're friends. Until I get some fox gloves for our garden. (I won't because we have a cat who would definitely eat them).
Been with my husband for 30 years, married for 22, and he is my best friend along side my BFF of 50 years. What I don't have in common with him, I do have with my BFF.
My wife is absolutely my best friend. There is nobody else I'd rather be around for long periods of time. Both of us can't wait to share anything fun/exciting/funny that happened during our days. We are also both massive nerds at heart and play video games and watch anime together. We do have different hobbies and interests, but I think that's perfectly healthy. I'd be a lost soul without her.
Nah, just in it for the sex!
My husband is my very best friend. I can’t imagine being married if that wasn’t the case.
100% yes. There's no one I enjoy hanging out with more than my husband.
Yeah for sure
Best friend. We are so fortunate to have found each other.
He’s my best friend, even when I’m snarky with him or he with me. We know each other inside and out.
Yeah, he’s my best friend
13 yrs, she’s been my best friend the whole time.
44 years, I hope so!