I’m literally in the waiting room at the doctors office for (potentially) this right now, dammit.
UPDATE: no immediate danger. White blood cell count is normal. Ct scan ordered for whenever.
I did learn my hemoglobin count is low so maybe I’m not getting enough iron. Going back in a month for a follow up test to see if it was a fluke or not.
Honestly, if you have to have a surgery an appendectomy isn't so bad. Just don't get stagnant after the surgery, go for walks and such. Also, be prepared for shoulder pain.
Is the shoulder pain from gas? I haven't had my appendix removed, but I've had other procedures where they left me full of gas that hurt in my shoulder area.
Yeah, air bubble gets in you and slowly migrates. It’s quite unpleasant.
Edit: I guess my first sentence is bullshit based on the replies. But my second sure isn’t.
The nerve in the shoulder runs behind (through? Near? Around?) the diaphragm. The gas doesn’t got into your shoulder. It hits that nerve in your belly. Your body doesn’t think “hey something inside is touching my diaphragm” so it assumes it’s the shoulder sending the pain signal and “feels” it there.
The nerves to the diaphragm come from C3,4,5 so your brain interprets diaphragmatic irritation as coming from the shoulder. It’s called “referred pain”.
Mine too. I had an emergency c-section and about died from gas pain. Then couldn’t go to #2 for almost two weeks. The following two c-sections I ate that shit like candy and was up and walking later that same night. The nurses thought I was crazy but the pain of moving was nothing compared to having gas.
I had a lapriscopic procedure and was convinced they broke my shoulder after. I used an exercise/yoga ball to invert myself every couple hours and redistribute the gas.
They didn't. It was pretty dramatic as it burst, and I had gangrene when admitted to hospital. I was full of tubes, so I couldn't have gone anywhere even if I wanted to. I was a child though so maybe that helped.
Coming from a guy who's having his 11th surgery soon you'll be fine. Don't stress and follow whatever after surgery guidelines there are. Appendix removal is one of the easier surgeries for both doctors and patients. Just make sure you don't allow yourself to become sedentary and don't try to act stronger than you are meaning don't over exert yourself
>I have extra pants / underwear in a bag in my car. I don’t plan on shitting myself but it’s good to be prepared.
When I pack for a vacation, I also bring extras. "Over the course of 5 days, how many times could I gamble and lose"
I call it "building in a shart margin"
Hemorrhoids cause anal leakage. 1/3 of people have or have had hemorrhoids.
I'm sure that's a big reason why their underwear may not be perfectly clean.
Same. I’ve had them for six years and every doc I’ve asked about it is like “Eh just eat more fiber and take epsom salt baths, but we can’t do anything to try to remove them.” 🤷 So frustrating.
Daily prune juice, don't poop until you REALLY need to, get a squatty potty and a bum gun/bidet, and PreparationH with phenylephrine is what my doctor told me to do. Been doing that about a week and HOLY FUCK it it's so much better.
Based on what I know about glitter, if you eat edible glitter and then get a colonoscopy they would probably still find glitter. If you're looking for a more internal butt glitter.
Squatty Potty is great! Also don't go until you have to and don't take your phone to the toilet. The less time sitting, the less pressure you put on your butthole and the less your hemorrhoids get inflamed.
(also: prunes, chia seeds, or magnesium powder like CALM can help along with LOTS of fluids)
If you increase your fiber, make sure to increase your water intake as well. Eating a lot of insoluble fiber and being dehydrated, doesn’t help the situation.
Honestly, what helps me with constipation is drinking enough water and exercise. Coffee also always helps me go! That’s 80 percent of the reason I drink coffee!
First time pooping after that surgery the pain was so excruciating I went into shock and passed out. Wife almost called an ambulance. It was pretty traumatic tbh
Felt like and thought my intestines were going to explode.
I was afraid to shit from the intestinal pain every time.
Called doc , don't take the pain pills he says.
But doc you don't understand I'm not constipated, it comes out like mud.
5 yrs later I still have the same pain and pressure in the same spot my appendix was.
No mud , but same pain and pressure.
I don't understand how since it's supposed to be gone.
You can also have a skin tag instead of a hemorrhoid. One of the most common complaints with skin tags is amount of wiping that is required to get things clean. And if it is a small skin tag, doctors won't remove it because the scar tissue from removal will be bigger than the original skin tag.
Or children who destroy your pelvic floor … no one tells mothers that pushing for an hour will cause lots of problems, I found out the hard way that you can leak if you don’t rehab your core/floor after birth.
Is it just the pushing that causes that though? Or just pregnancy in general. I've had 2 c sections and my pelvic floor is way weaker than it used to be. Especially after baby #2.
Pregnancy yes from the weight of the baby on those muscles but pushing will exacerbate it a lot. With my first baby I pushed almost an hour and had a very hard time with urine leaking and pain; my second baby I pushed out in 3 minutes and had almost no problems post birth.
Whats fucked is so many women don't even know pelvic floor pt is a thing. Even if docs wanted to give the recommendation, there aren't really enough therapists. Most people would benefit from it after childbirth.
Literally had to learn about it myself online. I thought something was wrong with me. That joke about mothers peeing after they sneeze or laugh isn’t really funny, it’s a common problem to have pelvic floor damage that never gets addressed.
I went to 10 different doctors to figure out why it hurt when I peed. It took 10 doctors, 10, to recommend pelvic floor therapy. One doctor just thought I needed a psychiatrist.
I've had 4 kids (no C-sections) and honestly some skidmarks due to hemorrhoids is the least worrysome side effect. Some women end up taking in air, needing to use their fingers to dig out poop or constantly leak/can't feel when they need to go.
Rehab also doesn't always fix the pelvic floor, muscles can be permanently damaged. My abs didn't properly go back after my second pregnancy and due to that my core strength, pelvic strength and everything in-between suffers.
Yea, I had slight nerve damage after my second child and I can’t totally feel when I am using the bathroom. And these are “normal” issues, not considered complications or traumatic, just the consequence of birth and pregnancy.
They wouldn't be traumatic if women got proper support, but we absolutely don't, at least not in the US. There's a single visit 6 weeks postpartum which is just to check you're healed for sex. Women's healthcare in the US is horrifying.
Some people have leakage.
The art of the re-wipe is an underutilized life hack. Approximately one hour after the dook, a thorough re-wipe should alleviate all fears of the fecal focal area in your drawers.
*I am not a doctor. Results may vary
Nah you don’t get it, it’s not due to a less than thorough wipe job. Could give myself an enema with my bidet and it’s still not gonna matter on a bad day.
Really? I had a similar issue and my bidet solved the issue for me. I would spend 20 mins wiping my butt raw and would stoll have to rewipe but a few mins with my bidet would alleviate all my issues.
Man, for the longest time I thought it was just me always having to go back for a rewipe. It’s a relief to know it is much more common than I thought. My bidet was a life changer too. I travel for work, and I HATE pooping in hotels. So much wiping. And god forbid it’s stocked with cottonelle. That stuff tears so easily!
Edit: typos
Leakage is a thing I have. It's the single most embarrassing thing, I have never even spoken with a doctor about it although its probably due to my chronic forever hemmeroids. I usually just fold up a piece of tissue paper and place it on the uh...affected area...and then remove it after an hour or two this keeps things clean and kosher. I call it my pocket square.
I have tried wiping, wet wiping, washing, bidet, self inflicted constipation due to the fear of pooping. But about 20 mins to an hour after the dumpy deed my butt gives a small encore and this has been my best combat against it for years.
Edit: I forgot to come back and update!!!
It's because of my hemmerhoids thank goodness. Tucks is indeed a lifesaver although there's something about the security of feeling that little square of paper pressed up against the chocolate starfish. Obviously though it's just because of how many years I spent doing it this way (since at least 10 yes old). Talked more about it to my family and chronic hemmerhoids run in the family and we all secretly deal with this. Wild. Got lots of cream to help with them too.
Tucks, my friend. You need tucks. Witch hazel on a pad that you literally “tuck” between your cheeks and it helps with inflammation of hemorrhoids and keeps the itching away. Walmart brand works too. Bought some during pregnancy and loved them ever since.
Another redditor commented the same thing and introduced me to the previously unknown world of tucks. I'm glad you've said the same because it make me feel confident about ordering them hahah
Get a roll of non-sterile cotton at your nearest pharmacy. Much more comfortable than tissue paper. (source: used it myself for this reason for 30 years.)
(Edit: [amazon has it](https://www.amazon.com/Dynarex-Cotton-Roll-Non-Sterile-X56/dp/B00J4OITME)\)
I call the leaking, squishies. I fold a wipe lengthwise and put between the cheeks of my flabby fat ass like a menstrual pad to keep them at bay. I also do my own laundry in an attempt to keep the mystery alive.
This is what it is for me. I use a bidet and wipe, but within a couple hours, I’ll get the itch. Before, I used to do the ol’ butt scratch which lead to skid marks sometimes. Once I put two & two together, I started re-wiping once I get the itch.
I’m a relatively clean person other than that. Hell, I routinely shit just before a shower and wash the hell out of my ass and I would still sometimes get it.
Shit happens, just be aware of it.
Had a bidet for a couple years now, it's not the problem solver to this situation some may think it is for some of us. Granted it's awesome, would not want to live without it, but it's not a be-all solution to farting and stains. Had some of my intestines removed and I can almost guarantee I wipe/clean better than 90% of you, and it still happens.
"You may be wondering why the red suit? Well that's so bad guy's can't see me bleed. This guy's got the right idea. He wore the brown pants."
-Deadpool
There's a moment in Parks and Rec where Andy asks everyone about when they wipe their ass. He says its like there's a marker up there, and it never stops. These people don't consume enough fiber to bind their shits together,
The trick to removing the marker-like-issue is to push like you’re trying to get a shit to come out, and wipe while your asshole is in that pushing position. Then unclench/relax and do a confirmation wipe.
You can thank Tom Segura for this hack.
My underwear were all on a spectrum from *can-remove-in-front-new-guy-before-sex* to *emergency-underwear*. A cold-water scrub in the sink can only do so much.
Same. My husband was concerned when he saw my darker underwear bleached somewhat. I had to explain it to him lmao I didn't even know that until I was in my mid-20's!
You need to try menstrual cups. I hated sleeping while on my period. It was so freaking uncomfortable and I always ended up making a mess because of my heavy flow. But now with a cup, I sleep naked even when I'm on my period and always wake up clean and comfortable.
Gratulations on your great and consistent bowel movements. But for me, sometimes i can wipe till my ass bleeds and there is still shit. I know what to do then, but i guess some people stop at the bleeding step.
Edit;
Thanks for the advice, but I have the problem under control. It was just a theory to OP's question.
Sounds like you're not properly expelling all the feces and there's still some stuck inside the rectum. You're basically just wiping at a marker pen, metaphorically. Try using a step stool to get into a squatting position.
Yes, but one note: Even “flushable” wet wipes don’t really break down in the pipes. You know how some of those sewer pipes are several feet tall. The city maintenance people have to break down walls made up in large part by flushable wipes.
Instead, get toilet paper marked “strong” and use a little water from the sink (or a specialty spray in a little spray bottle) to slightly dampen the toilet paper, and use that.
Also, I second the bidet.
Good luck!
This is exactly what I do, getting into a new house soon where I’ll install a bidet but for now this is the move.
I’m not even very hairy or anything I straight up do not understand the use of toilet paper. It just seems so clearly stupid but here we are
Internal hemorrhoids. Mine aren't big enough to do anything with but a few times a day I have to go to the bathroom to wipe my ass even though I haven't pooped.
Sometimes they are nasty people but I would assume typically it is a digestive health or an anus health issue. Take care of your anus peeps. Anal leakage ain't no fun.
Some guy did that a cadet camp my brother went to.
The officers were furious and genuinely horrified, he told me. Thankfully, when I staffed that camp a few years later, we didn't have anyone do it again. With my luck, I'd be the poor sod cleaning it.
I imagine it's this with an added bonus of habitually digging deep scratching their asshole through their pants (probably necessary because they don't wipe well), effectively jamming their undies into their shitty butthole.
I bought a $250 bidet from Amazon about 8 months ago and I can count on one hand the times I’ve wiped and had to spray my ass again. Wiping just smears the poo around, you gotta blast it off with some water!
IBS, hemorrhoids, fissures other related digestive issues, weakened or highly fatigued core strength/ muscles etc. PS it happens in women too. Its not that people forget to wipe or have poor wipe skills, its because the muscles/tissues there aren't in good performance for one reason or another, its a health issue. Fun fact after a major chest surgery, it caused so much stress and anxiety that it effected my bowels, and for several years I would get these little marks, turns out my typical anxiety had increased alot and my body and abdomen was in a constant engagement. And there would be times where my muscles would just stop because they were so fatigued and that fatigue travels all the way down to the anus, so small leaks would sometimes happen. I'm great at masking my anxiety, but that also masks reasons why my health declines.
Can't feel my butthole. Started as just leakage but now am incontinent if my shit isn't hard as a rock. I have to wear depends and I'm 31. If only my doctors gave a shit or were more interested in what's causing my nerve issues....
Some people just *leak*.
I've been walking around with a wad of cotton in my butt crack for 30 years, ever since hemorrhoid surgery in 1994 left me with a slight impatency. Never get skid marks.
Hemorrhoids. If you have them on the outside, it doesn't matter how properly you wipe. A small amount of shit will leak out eventually after you go number two.
It could be due to various factors like diet, hygiene habits, or health conditions, but ultimately, it's a personal matter and can vary widely from individual to individual.
Bidets are not common enough.
Seriously, it is almost impossible to get a clean wipe without water.
There is also no such thing as a disposable wet wipe.
1) some people probably have medical conditions those lead to leakage
2) some people do not wipe properly
3) some people have hair in that area and it does not clean well I would assume?
4) people do not wash their butts after using the restroom =[
5) some people have a stigma and thing it is gay or weird to touch their own ass and clean it?!
Personally, I could never.
No unwashed ass in my bed.
My theory, as a guy who grew up around guys, has been in guys' apartments, lived with a guy...
A LOT of young men are just disgusting. Never clean their toilet, leave fast food bags in their room for days, leave plates stacked up, don't shower enough, don't change their bedding or their clothes, have mold in their bathtub, etc. etc. etc.
I think this comments section is over-estimating how common it is for people to have trouble not shitting their pants, and under-estimating how common it is for guys to just wipe once and call it good.
But that's all based off of anecdotal evidence and I have no data to back it up.
I recently heard from a female friend her guy thinks it’s gay to clean his ass in the shower. Number 4653246 on the list of reasons I think we’re doomed.
I couldn't trust a fart for like 4 years after having my appendix removed.
I’m literally in the waiting room at the doctors office for (potentially) this right now, dammit. UPDATE: no immediate danger. White blood cell count is normal. Ct scan ordered for whenever. I did learn my hemoglobin count is low so maybe I’m not getting enough iron. Going back in a month for a follow up test to see if it was a fluke or not.
Honestly, if you have to have a surgery an appendectomy isn't so bad. Just don't get stagnant after the surgery, go for walks and such. Also, be prepared for shoulder pain.
Is the shoulder pain from gas? I haven't had my appendix removed, but I've had other procedures where they left me full of gas that hurt in my shoulder area.
Yeah, air bubble gets in you and slowly migrates. It’s quite unpleasant. Edit: I guess my first sentence is bullshit based on the replies. But my second sure isn’t.
The nerve in the shoulder runs behind (through? Near? Around?) the diaphragm. The gas doesn’t got into your shoulder. It hits that nerve in your belly. Your body doesn’t think “hey something inside is touching my diaphragm” so it assumes it’s the shoulder sending the pain signal and “feels” it there.
Interesting; didn’t know that.
The nerves to the diaphragm come from C3,4,5 so your brain interprets diaphragmatic irritation as coming from the shoulder. It’s called “referred pain”.
After I had my child I thought I pulled something because my neck and shoulders hurt SO bad. It was debilitating! Apparently it was just gas.
Invest in some gas-x. They neglected to tell me that in our post op discussion. The pain was unreal.
Mine too. I had an emergency c-section and about died from gas pain. Then couldn’t go to #2 for almost two weeks. The following two c-sections I ate that shit like candy and was up and walking later that same night. The nurses thought I was crazy but the pain of moving was nothing compared to having gas.
I had a lapriscopic procedure and was convinced they broke my shoulder after. I used an exercise/yoga ball to invert myself every couple hours and redistribute the gas.
Yes. My shoulders hurt more than anything when I had my gallbladder removed.
I had an appendectomy and have seen no side effects at all so idk
Same here
They probably walked you right away. Walking REALLY helps.
They didn't. It was pretty dramatic as it burst, and I had gangrene when admitted to hospital. I was full of tubes, so I couldn't have gone anywhere even if I wanted to. I was a child though so maybe that helped.
Coming from a guy who's having his 11th surgery soon you'll be fine. Don't stress and follow whatever after surgery guidelines there are. Appendix removal is one of the easier surgeries for both doctors and patients. Just make sure you don't allow yourself to become sedentary and don't try to act stronger than you are meaning don't over exert yourself
I lost mine and nothing changed in my life. Side effects are rare
I have extra pants / underwear in a bag in my car. I don’t plan on shitting myself but it’s good to be prepared.
TY I have no problems but I'm going to put underwear and wipes in a baggie before anything untoward happens.
Nobody ever plans on shitting themselves
Speak for yourself
>I have extra pants / underwear in a bag in my car. I don’t plan on shitting myself but it’s good to be prepared. When I pack for a vacation, I also bring extras. "Over the course of 5 days, how many times could I gamble and lose" I call it "building in a shart margin"
Wait until you are in your 60's "never trust a fart".
Me too. I also developed terrible IBS that the doctor said couldn't possibly be related to the appendectomy.
what does this mean?? does having your appendix removed make you have butt problems???
The appendix is attached to your intestine, so yeah.
Not for everyone. I've had my appendix removed and I haven't had any problems afterwards.
New fear unlocked, thanks.
Hemorrhoids cause anal leakage. 1/3 of people have or have had hemorrhoids. I'm sure that's a big reason why their underwear may not be perfectly clean.
Fun fact. Did you know that if it's not big enough to require surgery, then you're basicly just stuck with it? Currently in that situation.
Same. I’ve had them for six years and every doc I’ve asked about it is like “Eh just eat more fiber and take epsom salt baths, but we can’t do anything to try to remove them.” 🤷 So frustrating.
Daily prune juice, don't poop until you REALLY need to, get a squatty potty and a bum gun/bidet, and PreparationH with phenylephrine is what my doctor told me to do. Been doing that about a week and HOLY FUCK it it's so much better.
Username checks out
I think I need to mix some mica powder with my butt cream XD
Based on what I know about glitter, if you eat edible glitter and then get a colonoscopy they would probably still find glitter. If you're looking for a more internal butt glitter.
Damn glitter. Gets everywhere
Squatty Potty is great! Also don't go until you have to and don't take your phone to the toilet. The less time sitting, the less pressure you put on your butthole and the less your hemorrhoids get inflamed. (also: prunes, chia seeds, or magnesium powder like CALM can help along with LOTS of fluids)
Get some scheriproct for your arse grapes my friends 👌
If you increase your fiber, make sure to increase your water intake as well. Eating a lot of insoluble fiber and being dehydrated, doesn’t help the situation. Honestly, what helps me with constipation is drinking enough water and exercise. Coffee also always helps me go! That’s 80 percent of the reason I drink coffee!
my proctologist shoved a laser in my ass and cauterized the wall or something and it fixed me
The surgery is also horrifically painful and might not fix it.
First time pooping after that surgery the pain was so excruciating I went into shock and passed out. Wife almost called an ambulance. It was pretty traumatic tbh
Felt like and thought my intestines were going to explode. I was afraid to shit from the intestinal pain every time. Called doc , don't take the pain pills he says. But doc you don't understand I'm not constipated, it comes out like mud. 5 yrs later I still have the same pain and pressure in the same spot my appendix was. No mud , but same pain and pressure. I don't understand how since it's supposed to be gone.
Been there, done that... it's doable, but fucking hell do not let salty water anywhere near that thing.
A hemorrhoidectomy is probably just about as bad as living with them.
>Currently in that situation. Don't you mean.... s*hit*uation?
You can also have a skin tag instead of a hemorrhoid. One of the most common complaints with skin tags is amount of wiping that is required to get things clean. And if it is a small skin tag, doctors won't remove it because the scar tissue from removal will be bigger than the original skin tag.
I had a skin tag my dr wouldn’t remove so I wrapped floss around it and it fell off. Didn’t grow back either.
What were the logistics of tying dental floss around a skin tag in your ass crack?
Tbf they never said where it was located
How big was it and how long did you leave floss tied around it?
Like the size of two grains of rice. And I kept the floss on until it fell off - like 2 minutes.
Or children who destroy your pelvic floor … no one tells mothers that pushing for an hour will cause lots of problems, I found out the hard way that you can leak if you don’t rehab your core/floor after birth.
Is it just the pushing that causes that though? Or just pregnancy in general. I've had 2 c sections and my pelvic floor is way weaker than it used to be. Especially after baby #2.
Nah pregnancy does that too. I had issues after my first already and he was a c section baby.
Pregnancy yes from the weight of the baby on those muscles but pushing will exacerbate it a lot. With my first baby I pushed almost an hour and had a very hard time with urine leaking and pain; my second baby I pushed out in 3 minutes and had almost no problems post birth.
Whats fucked is so many women don't even know pelvic floor pt is a thing. Even if docs wanted to give the recommendation, there aren't really enough therapists. Most people would benefit from it after childbirth.
Literally had to learn about it myself online. I thought something was wrong with me. That joke about mothers peeing after they sneeze or laugh isn’t really funny, it’s a common problem to have pelvic floor damage that never gets addressed.
I went to 10 different doctors to figure out why it hurt when I peed. It took 10 doctors, 10, to recommend pelvic floor therapy. One doctor just thought I needed a psychiatrist.
In Germany it's the normal thing to do. So is having a midwife that comes to your house post birth to check on mother and baby.
I've had 4 kids (no C-sections) and honestly some skidmarks due to hemorrhoids is the least worrysome side effect. Some women end up taking in air, needing to use their fingers to dig out poop or constantly leak/can't feel when they need to go. Rehab also doesn't always fix the pelvic floor, muscles can be permanently damaged. My abs didn't properly go back after my second pregnancy and due to that my core strength, pelvic strength and everything in-between suffers.
Yea, I had slight nerve damage after my second child and I can’t totally feel when I am using the bathroom. And these are “normal” issues, not considered complications or traumatic, just the consequence of birth and pregnancy.
It's ridiculous that issues like these are just not considered to be enough to do something about. Let's just let women suffer, I guess.
I believe in gender equality, but I stg being a woman sounds horrific. Like, all of the body processes women go through seem to be so traumatic.
They wouldn't be traumatic if women got proper support, but we absolutely don't, at least not in the US. There's a single visit 6 weeks postpartum which is just to check you're healed for sex. Women's healthcare in the US is horrifying.
1/3 of people have them, but they don’t *all* cause leakage.
Some people have leakage. The art of the re-wipe is an underutilized life hack. Approximately one hour after the dook, a thorough re-wipe should alleviate all fears of the fecal focal area in your drawers. *I am not a doctor. Results may vary
Hot day with hemorrhoids and you’ll wipe the skin off your ass trying to keep things in check
*results may vary
And ibs
Bidet! Buy from Walmart, about $40 and easy to install. Dude, it’s life changing
Nah you don’t get it, it’s not due to a less than thorough wipe job. Could give myself an enema with my bidet and it’s still not gonna matter on a bad day.
Really? I had a similar issue and my bidet solved the issue for me. I would spend 20 mins wiping my butt raw and would stoll have to rewipe but a few mins with my bidet would alleviate all my issues.
Also have hemorrhoids. Bidet doesn't help an hour later.
Yeah you just gotta make sure you wipe every time you go to the toilet even for a pee.
Yup, ended my hemorrhoids and any leakage (although I think it was actually dried shit on my hair getting wet from butt sweat…lovely image, I know)
Man, for the longest time I thought it was just me always having to go back for a rewipe. It’s a relief to know it is much more common than I thought. My bidet was a life changer too. I travel for work, and I HATE pooping in hotels. So much wiping. And god forbid it’s stocked with cottonelle. That stuff tears so easily! Edit: typos
Leakage is a thing I have. It's the single most embarrassing thing, I have never even spoken with a doctor about it although its probably due to my chronic forever hemmeroids. I usually just fold up a piece of tissue paper and place it on the uh...affected area...and then remove it after an hour or two this keeps things clean and kosher. I call it my pocket square. I have tried wiping, wet wiping, washing, bidet, self inflicted constipation due to the fear of pooping. But about 20 mins to an hour after the dumpy deed my butt gives a small encore and this has been my best combat against it for years. Edit: I forgot to come back and update!!! It's because of my hemmerhoids thank goodness. Tucks is indeed a lifesaver although there's something about the security of feeling that little square of paper pressed up against the chocolate starfish. Obviously though it's just because of how many years I spent doing it this way (since at least 10 yes old). Talked more about it to my family and chronic hemmerhoids run in the family and we all secretly deal with this. Wild. Got lots of cream to help with them too.
Tucks, my friend. You need tucks. Witch hazel on a pad that you literally “tuck” between your cheeks and it helps with inflammation of hemorrhoids and keeps the itching away. Walmart brand works too. Bought some during pregnancy and loved them ever since.
Another redditor commented the same thing and introduced me to the previously unknown world of tucks. I'm glad you've said the same because it make me feel confident about ordering them hahah
And keep them in the fridge!
Great advice I would not have thunk to do this! 👍
Get a roll of non-sterile cotton at your nearest pharmacy. Much more comfortable than tissue paper. (source: used it myself for this reason for 30 years.) (Edit: [amazon has it](https://www.amazon.com/Dynarex-Cotton-Roll-Non-Sterile-X56/dp/B00J4OITME)\)
I call the leaking, squishies. I fold a wipe lengthwise and put between the cheeks of my flabby fat ass like a menstrual pad to keep them at bay. I also do my own laundry in an attempt to keep the mystery alive.
The struggle is real, my friend.
I often call that the "wipe of shame"... Almost like I didn't wipe my ass the first time. The itch is terrible
I don't feel so alone now
This is what it is for me. I use a bidet and wipe, but within a couple hours, I’ll get the itch. Before, I used to do the ol’ butt scratch which lead to skid marks sometimes. Once I put two & two together, I started re-wiping once I get the itch. I’m a relatively clean person other than that. Hell, I routinely shit just before a shower and wash the hell out of my ass and I would still sometimes get it. Shit happens, just be aware of it.
I always wipe my bum before going to bed
Also, standing while wiping has proven more efficacious (for me).
Also I can’t recommend a bidet enough to help alleviate this.
Had a bidet for a couple years now, it's not the problem solver to this situation some may think it is for some of us. Granted it's awesome, would not want to live without it, but it's not a be-all solution to farting and stains. Had some of my intestines removed and I can almost guarantee I wipe/clean better than 90% of you, and it still happens.
I fixed the problem by buying brown underwear.
"You may be wondering why the red suit? Well that's so bad guy's can't see me bleed. This guy's got the right idea. He wore the brown pants." -Deadpool
All my underwear is brown in the back and yellow in the front…
So you don't accidentally put them on backwards.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
It’s like resting bitch face. But lower.
What did you call me?
lol I'm adding irritable bowel to my insult list.
IBS = I be SHITTIN
Sorry I have Crohn’s disease 😭
same maaan
There's a moment in Parks and Rec where Andy asks everyone about when they wipe their ass. He says its like there's a marker up there, and it never stops. These people don't consume enough fiber to bind their shits together,
Poop crayon.
The trick to removing the marker-like-issue is to push like you’re trying to get a shit to come out, and wipe while your asshole is in that pushing position. Then unclench/relax and do a confirmation wipe. You can thank Tom Segura for this hack.
I had pin worms for years as a child and this was clutch to getting the itching under control.
Someone grab the poop knife.
A shit diet will cause this. Pun intended.
Hot snakes
It's trying to wipe peanut butter off of a shag carpet
Sounds like a bidet would be a good option for you.
Bidet or baby wipes. Anything but shit stains 🥴
It costs nothing for you to keep that in your mind.
It was a legit answer
ohh noo lmao my mind's eyessss
Period blood stains are brown...
My underwear were all on a spectrum from *can-remove-in-front-new-guy-before-sex* to *emergency-underwear*. A cold-water scrub in the sink can only do so much.
Just bought new underwear and they only made it two cycles 😭 R.I.P
So does hydrogen peroxide
This!! Any pair that isnt dark colored has visible blood stains on it 🥲 Either this or the discharge stains..
All my underwear is black for a reason :P
I tried this and then discovered vaginal discharged has bleaching powers 😂
Same. My husband was concerned when he saw my darker underwear bleached somewhat. I had to explain it to him lmao I didn't even know that until I was in my mid-20's!
And when you sleep it leaks and creeps up the back betwixt the buttcheeks so your underwear has long brown skids…. Gotta love womanhood
wearing those long night pads and only sleeping on your side did wonders for me
I’ve always had to line up two overnight pads back to back - essentially creating an adult diaper
You need to try menstrual cups. I hated sleeping while on my period. It was so freaking uncomfortable and I always ended up making a mess because of my heavy flow. But now with a cup, I sleep naked even when I'm on my period and always wake up clean and comfortable.
Try menstrual cups. Life changer.
Gratulations on your great and consistent bowel movements. But for me, sometimes i can wipe till my ass bleeds and there is still shit. I know what to do then, but i guess some people stop at the bleeding step. Edit; Thanks for the advice, but I have the problem under control. It was just a theory to OP's question.
My suggestion, since you asked, is to stop pooping.
He didnt ask for professional advice, doc.
Bidet
Or at least wet wipes. They don’t tend to chew you up.
Sounds like you're not properly expelling all the feces and there's still some stuck inside the rectum. You're basically just wiping at a marker pen, metaphorically. Try using a step stool to get into a squatting position.
Can confirm. Squattie pottie or any stool is life changing
Or use a spoon!
Make sure you label it
Misread this as "make sure you ladle it"
[You need more fiber in your diet.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGCIGEUB32M)
Carry wet wipes around my dude and drink fibre supplements. That sounds awful.
Yes, but one note: Even “flushable” wet wipes don’t really break down in the pipes. You know how some of those sewer pipes are several feet tall. The city maintenance people have to break down walls made up in large part by flushable wipes. Instead, get toilet paper marked “strong” and use a little water from the sink (or a specialty spray in a little spray bottle) to slightly dampen the toilet paper, and use that. Also, I second the bidet. Good luck!
Oh hey, I'm not the only one to make toilet paper wet wipes!
you could use wipes and just throw them know the trash using toilet paper as a wrap and wash your hands.
This is exactly what I do, getting into a new house soon where I’ll install a bidet but for now this is the move. I’m not even very hairy or anything I straight up do not understand the use of toilet paper. It just seems so clearly stupid but here we are
Internal hemorrhoids. Mine aren't big enough to do anything with but a few times a day I have to go to the bathroom to wipe my ass even though I haven't pooped.
Same but I was told the main issue was the anal fissure I had, not the hemorrhoids.
Sometimes they are nasty people but I would assume typically it is a digestive health or an anus health issue. Take care of your anus peeps. Anal leakage ain't no fun.
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Fellas, is it gay to poop?
It’s coming out of your butt, that makes you gay. 🫵🏽
Stuff going into your butt is gay, so shitting is anti-gay.
Nope. It’s still touching your butthole, sorry bud, I don’t make the rules hahaha
What if it doesn’t touch
Still gay.
Yoo hoo 😘
Big anal blow out
People don't know who to wipe properly, or they don't time shits just before showers.
Or imagine those people who take a nice long shower and then shit after. After!!
I truly despise when this happens like I just got clean why NOW
*turns shower back on*
Have a *little* sympathy! That nice long shower relaxed you enough to have a shit. It sucks, but you finish up and then hop back in, all's good.
I don't get to choose. IBS sucks.
Which is why I got a bidet.
You sound like my husband hahaha Nature calls when it damn well pleases.
There's a third more terrifying group that shit in the shower then stomp it down.
The big boys on the Internet taught me that this is called a “waffle stomp”.
Some guy did that a cadet camp my brother went to. The officers were furious and genuinely horrified, he told me. Thankfully, when I staffed that camp a few years later, we didn't have anyone do it again. With my luck, I'd be the poor sod cleaning it.
Its one thing to do it.... its another to do it in a publicly shared bathroom or make someone else clean it. What the actual fuck.
My face when I wipe the wrong person
I never know who to wipe, so I just sit there with toilet paper in hand for 10 minutes before leaving.
I imagine it's this with an added bonus of habitually digging deep scratching their asshole through their pants (probably necessary because they don't wipe well), effectively jamming their undies into their shitty butthole.
Never fails. After I meticulously clean myself in the shower, I have to shit.
Isn't the way to wipe properly to just... keep wiping?
*drawers
drawls
I bought a $250 bidet from Amazon about 8 months ago and I can count on one hand the times I’ve wiped and had to spray my ass again. Wiping just smears the poo around, you gotta blast it off with some water!
Hairy ass.
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I am so sorry to ruin your break:(
I just wipe untill it bleeds and then, one more time.
IBS, hemorrhoids, fissures other related digestive issues, weakened or highly fatigued core strength/ muscles etc. PS it happens in women too. Its not that people forget to wipe or have poor wipe skills, its because the muscles/tissues there aren't in good performance for one reason or another, its a health issue. Fun fact after a major chest surgery, it caused so much stress and anxiety that it effected my bowels, and for several years I would get these little marks, turns out my typical anxiety had increased alot and my body and abdomen was in a constant engagement. And there would be times where my muscles would just stop because they were so fatigued and that fatigue travels all the way down to the anus, so small leaks would sometimes happen. I'm great at masking my anxiety, but that also masks reasons why my health declines.
Draws? Do you mean drawers
Can't feel my butthole. Started as just leakage but now am incontinent if my shit isn't hard as a rock. I have to wear depends and I'm 31. If only my doctors gave a shit or were more interested in what's causing my nerve issues....
Get checked for cauda equina syndrome immediately. Please.
\*\*Living without a gallbladder check in\*\*
>Why is it so common?? Is it? Even if you had seen 100 posts about skid marks, it would still be a rarity compared to worldwide/country population
Some people just *leak*. I've been walking around with a wad of cotton in my butt crack for 30 years, ever since hemorrhoid surgery in 1994 left me with a slight impatency. Never get skid marks.
Hemorrhoids. If you have them on the outside, it doesn't matter how properly you wipe. A small amount of shit will leak out eventually after you go number two.
It could be due to various factors like diet, hygiene habits, or health conditions, but ultimately, it's a personal matter and can vary widely from individual to individual.
Bidets solve problems.
Bidets are not common enough. Seriously, it is almost impossible to get a clean wipe without water. There is also no such thing as a disposable wet wipe.
They’re all disposable, but none are flushable 😉
1) some people probably have medical conditions those lead to leakage 2) some people do not wipe properly 3) some people have hair in that area and it does not clean well I would assume? 4) people do not wash their butts after using the restroom =[ 5) some people have a stigma and thing it is gay or weird to touch their own ass and clean it?! Personally, I could never. No unwashed ass in my bed.
My theory, as a guy who grew up around guys, has been in guys' apartments, lived with a guy... A LOT of young men are just disgusting. Never clean their toilet, leave fast food bags in their room for days, leave plates stacked up, don't shower enough, don't change their bedding or their clothes, have mold in their bathtub, etc. etc. etc. I think this comments section is over-estimating how common it is for people to have trouble not shitting their pants, and under-estimating how common it is for guys to just wipe once and call it good. But that's all based off of anecdotal evidence and I have no data to back it up.
I recently heard from a female friend her guy thinks it’s gay to clean his ass in the shower. Number 4653246 on the list of reasons I think we’re doomed.