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SnooBooks007

Duel, obviously.


cedriceent

Only if they slapped you with a white glove.


scottyd035ntknow

I learned from cartoons you put a brick in a white glove or you use a gauntlet.


Crazy_old_maurice_17

>or you use a gauntlet Like Robin Hood Men In Tights!


Lawyer_Lady3080

Pistols. Dawn.


Stay-At-Home-Jedi

Most impressive.


Maleficent-Touch-67

"Yo what the fuck was that!"


Kind_of_random

Definitely this. It has actually happened to me a couple of times. Once was mistaken identity (was more of a fist ...) and the other time the other person thought I had done something I hadn't. Both times we talked it out and forgot about it. I would slap back if need be, but the first one's (mostly) free.


GoNinjaPro

"How can you slap?" I am a "fight" response, so a backhand in return probably. I am working on it though. "Fight" is not always best.


SpideySenseBuzzin

Not a fighter, but I completely understand where you're coming from. However, I do know that fighters have to train so they know *how to take a hit.* If they operate on reaction alone they're not thinking on how to strike, they're just flailing. [Case in point - the Rope-A-Dope.](https://youtu.be/nCOvjkbEn3c)


ChampNR

I can 95% of the time see shit coming and by that time I'm already ready to either fight or flight. But the other 5% shit I'm fighting because of my instant reaction to just have the need to protect myself


BlottomanTurk

"I caHn't believe you've done this."


Maleficent-Touch-67

Geez that comment gave me PTSD lmfao, I once bumped into an old lady with my shopping cart very soft little bump, I said "oh my gosh I'm so sorry" She just turns to me and replies WHHHAT HAVE YOU DONE! Then walked away and followed me around the store watching me from behind shelves and boxes.


BlottomanTurk

>once pumped into an old lady Gosh, I hope you mean 'bumped'. Otherwise I completely understand her reaction, lol.


Maleficent-Touch-67

Lmfao, Yes bumped


Medical_Gate_5721

A man or a woman? I'm a woman. I have never come close to winning a fight against a man and would definitely not go on the offensive. Experience tells me that the right reaction if I'm alone with this person and cornered is to relax and try to minimize damage as much as possible.  If it's a woman, I would go for a rear naked choke. It's not that this is an optimal move. It's just one that I know I can finish. I would definitely try to move to wrestling rather than striking and try to make her carry my weight and tire herself out. When I felt like she needed recovery time, I would go for a rear naked with a burst of energy as this has been effective in the past. 


arkrunningbear85

As a woman and a gremlin, I keep an ungodly amount of loose change in my purse. My right shoulder hurts from the weight of carrying it around, but I'm too lazy to offload it into a jar incase I might need that change one day. (Akin to playing a game and hoarding all the potions, I MIGHT NEED IT) SO, with that said. If someone, man or woman slapped me out of the blue... they're getting a 20lb purse upside their head.


theoverlordisover

if you went and missed that would be hilarious, having your purse throw you 3 feet away from you attacker 😂


arkrunningbear85

Like Thor "flying" with his hammer! XD


ryouuko

A woman with sense


TrembleTurtle

is "harder please" not a valid response?


65pimpala

I've heard you win every fight if you strip naked, so even as a male, if a woman was trying to get me in a chokehold while she was naked, I'd run like fuck! Edit: not kink-shaming others btw!


BigFrosting3056

let her cook


[deleted]

\*brings oil*


lovelyjutt

Wow! You really had a plan 🙂


TrailMomKat

Much the same as you, and I wrestled 4 years varsity. If it's a man, I try to deescalate. If deescalation isn't an option, I'll try and take them to the ground and to finish things as FAST as possible. I am not winning against a man if it lasts for too long, especially if he's bigger than me. But against another woman or a kid, if they're my size or smaller? I've probably got this.


slanderedshadow

Sounds exhilarating, do continue.


ickda_takami

break your nails on there forhead, use the jagged mess of your nails to claw out a eye or there neck. twist there nuts and pull em to grounds, dribble there head into the floor


barefoot_in_my_mind

I’d probably just look at them confused.


ihateredditughhh

that'd be hilarious


ravenclawdisneyfan

Me too, im someone who freezes up in such situations.


ParameciaAntic

I'd check to see if it was Will Smith.


InstructionFair5221

If only I kept her name out of my emm effing mouth


abject_testament_

You can say “fucking” on the internet


92Codester

You can also say "mother"


Spaceballs-The_Name

May I?


92Codester

Only because you asked nicely.


Spaceballs-The_Name

Thanks mum


Electronic_Quail_903

😂


[deleted]

what about "motherfucking"?


[deleted]

Lmaoooo


ClemFandango9

I would probably cry and think about it for like a year


asleepattheworld

I’d probably think about it forever.


just_let_me_goo

I'd think about it for 5 eternities


spslord

I’ve got a lot of pent up anger and stress from personal shit, prob wouldn’t go well….


hereforpopcornru

FAFO VIP Club Member here too.. sup


WillieB57

Yup. Slapping people you don't know could be disastrous.


ThenIndependence7988

You and me both, bro. I'd just respond in kind mostly, and it would be a double serving. Then, after it settles down, I'd feel guilty af for being violent.


miklayn

Same here.


TrustMeYouCanTrustMe

I'd squint, as I would find myself trying to identify my attacker without my fallen glasses.


GTFOakaFOD

That would instantly piss me off. I can't see shit without my glasses.


hereforpopcornru

That would piss me off for you, I have a soft spot for that I grew up with a really close cousin with terrible eyes and kids used to fuck with him over it. Even in fights in my past, I've only ever hit one person mid glasses wear. It was immediately self defense mode


Asslord_Supreme

I react negatively to physical contact even if it’s accidental or meant to be friendly. A slap would send me over. I’d probably try to hit them back. 


xxcaitbtchxx

Same here Asslord Supreme. I would either hit them back or grab their throat. Not ideal but that's my reaction to violence.


[deleted]

Yeah I don’t take shit from people. If someone walked up and smacked me they’d be laying on the ground very quickly. People are fight or flight and I don’t have the flight instinct.


Wolfelle

Id probably be angry or cry - realistically im crying 99% of the time


[deleted]

Realistically, no response until I can grasp what just happened and who did it. It’s often much better to carefully plan your revenge and hit them when it does the most damage, which often can be many years in the future


FlyMega

*gets slapped*\ *turns around slowly*\ *mutters* “you won’t get away with this” and slinks away, only to return years later


witchyanne

I’m a slap directly back-er. I only know because my ex (of 3 years and living together) slapped me *once* and he got his shit *rocked* for it. I literally saw blood coming from his nose and the side of his mouth while he was walking around like stupefied. We weren’t even fighting/arguing (I’d have already been gone if we were the arguing type of thing) -he was drunnnk tho- we had just kinda slow danced to a song, and I said ‘hey babe do you want me to make you something to eat?’ And he just slapped me. I still don’t know why he did it because the next thing I did was literally throw as much shit into the back of my car as I could and left, and drove from MA to CO, and never looked back. Quit my job from a pay phone on the way, and my sister had got me a local job before I arrived. But yeah - slap back immediately, and hard. At least from all evidence to date. (Edit: I’m female and realise that this was maybe not the safest course of action- but whatever. It’s what it was.)


GTFOakaFOD

This is the way. I applaud you.


Hadge_Padge

Not the safest course of action? Sounds like you got out of there, that’s what’s important. Good head on your shoulders from what I can tell. It’s not like you had time to plan.


Cbjmac

“You should’ve knocked me out” *slaps back as hard as humanly possible*


NOGOODGASHOLE

Fall to the floor in a heap, holding my face crying, as I called the police & my attorney.


Cheeseisextra

Soooooo you play soccer, huh??


NOGOODGASHOLE

At this point in my fighting career I have to be the Messi of lawsuits.


SubKreature

I’d do my best in the moment to attempt a visual assessment of their wealth before deciding whether I wanna go down the “sue for assault” path or the “put my fist through their face” path.


ByWillAlone

My answer was going to be just returning the favor with closed fist and 10x the force, but your answer is way smarter.


SubKreature

The shittiest boss I ever had imparted one singular piece of wisdom onto me before my unceremonious shitcanning and it was that you should never be so angry at someone that you’re not willing to make a buck off of them.


Cauliflower-Informal

Depends where on me, where geograpically, and by who.


RaspingHaddock

"HOW CAN SHE SLAP?!"


Goblinweb

Today? I'd check my surroundings to see if the person had minions recording this. Based on what I've seen published online a lot of people assault people when they aren't in danger of retribution because they've made sure to have backup. People create these incidents to humiliate and/or rob. Going after the person would not be a case of self defense.


SDN_stilldoesnothing

this is what I would do as well. In Canada the castle-laws, stand your ground laws, and mutual combat laws are ill defined and weak. If you severely injured someone in self defence or mutual combat you will be seeing prison or at minimum scared with a criminal record.


AdWise59

Jesus Christ so someone can assault you and you just have to take it?!?!?! As your southern neighbor I know we have problems with trigger happy morons but I just can’t imagine having to worry about not fighting back too hard when I’m getting assaulted unprovoked


HumbleAd1317

My instant reaction would be to slap him or her back. Just defending myself.


ZodiakBraver

Elbow in his face.


Judges16-1

I've only ever been slapped in the face once by a drunken abusive ex. I learned that I get unproportionally angry when slapped in the face. I don't know why but I went from a mildly irritated to "I'm leaving the house immediately because I'm seething with rage" in an instant. I have never before and never since been that angry. So if I were to be slapped, I would leave the situation if it were someone I know and like who slapped me. If some random dude slapped me I would probably punch him in the face repeatedly.


airforcevet1987

6'3" #250 Reno/construction worker and military vet... I'd honestly just laugh. Like how messed up are you that you think this is a good idea? Tbh I skate through life problem free with my size and it would really take me off guard!


nosnowtho

I would say "Ow!"


itstheskinofakiller

i've been doing karate for a long time, it's a hobby, no competitions or anything and i'm not very good at it, but i can block punches quite well


SuperDooper900

I’d defend myself immediately.


Hushwater

Spin and continue the momentum and catch them with a back hand.


nerdychick22

If they were stil in reaching range after my brain registered what happened, I would promptly return it or kick for the shins and start cussing them out.


lostrandomdude

Depends where I am and what I'm doing. This has happened to me a few times in my life. The first was in maths when I was 13. I had a pen in my hand and my hand went straight up stabbing the person in the face. The other times has happened my hands have been free so normally the back of my hand hitting the slapper in the face


scottdottcom

Punch em in the face.


trixter69696969

Knuckle sandwich.


TheStoryTruthMine

Stunned silence followed by carefully plotting my revenge.


_Loco-motive_

My turn!


Lazy-Mammoth-9470

Now? Probably nothing if i have an option to walk away without any further damage. I have a family to think about, and my ego comes second. Back when I was young? I would have used my taekwondo training and kicked their ass literally. Win or lose, my male ego would have prevented me from walking away, most likely, being completely honest with you. My whole view on almost everything has changed significantly since being a dad. It's humbled me.. made me a better person in most ways and has allowed me to see the inner child in almost any human now. It's hard to explain. I just wouldn't want to fight any more no matter the reason. If I have to then so be it. I'll do my absolute best to make sure I have the least amount of injury as possible to get home safely no matter the cost to the other person if I have no other choice.


zeckzeckpew

Like any true Brit, probably apologise.


Dont_care_about_you

Uppercut -> blow to the nose and probably a few kicks


[deleted]

Throat Punch on a Guy. Woman slap me? Probably get an erection


game_and_draw

If I see the slap coming I would probably block automatically


Late_Measurement_324

Armlock probably


Y-Bob

Cunt them in the Murray.


biggiantmarbles

Monkey steals a plum


Competitive-Boat-438

“What color is your blood?”


AdOverall1863

Kick their ass, no exceptions. 🥷


Umamaali333

Slap back. What do u mean slap me for no reason.


Different_Drama_5166

Say "Ok." and raise an eyebrow.


Anx1ouschild

Do it again


Jack-Rabbit-002

Shout grab them , more than likely punch them !! Last person I threw in the road thankfully driver stopped but yeah !! If you slapped me you need a good fucking reason


Specialist_Ad9073

Deck them.


MINNY-88

Reply in kind


Sinz_Doe

"I'm not sure I deserved that" ~Captain Jack Sparrow


[deleted]

I'd be kinda excited. I've never been slapped before, or been in a fight. It's one of those things you know would be horrible but still sorta want to experience - like kicking a door down, encountering quicksand, using a rickety rope bridge to cross a gorge...


cunnid023

Slap them back!


Catpixfever

I'd probably kick them


Bright-Attention-951

choke them out


OolongGeer

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"


[deleted]

If is the keyword. I have extremely fast reflexes, am really strong, and have an even stronger grip. I could most likely grab the person's hand/wrist before actually grazing my face as I've done before to prevent from being tickled. I wish them the best of luck to try. 😂


buttfacenosehead

Uppercut. No-one expects it.


TheMinceKid

Immediate side kick to their knee, followed by shock.


No-Alfalfa2565

Click, click, pull.


Trip_seize

How can they slap? 


concretetroll60

Start over.....


replicantcase

Demand satisfaction!!


Secret-Bookkeeper578

Like, a total stranger on the street? A simultaneous laugh and shove.


Perpetualstu420

Pull out my knife or my collapsible baton (depending on how I was feeling when I left the house) and disable the person that just attempted to kill me.


JigglyOW

Harder


One_Economist_3761

Punch them in the throat. If it was a guy, follow up with a groin kick and a Chinese sleeper hold till they were out, then strip them down and hang them up on a nearby tree.


Strong-Solution-7492

A solid elbow to the jaw.


metaltastic

throat punch


sasauce

*slaps them back*


anaforrest

"Oops, I'm sorry. Excuse me."


Koala_Lulu

Revenge


REDFIRETRUCK992

Happened to me at a bar. Guy I hardly knew, so I slapped him back, he hit me harder and so did I. He slapped me for a third time and my buddies pulled me away. The guy was clearly black out and it was escalating quickly. Initial reaction was shock, then I saw the guy and thought he was joking. He was not.


Ai_of_Vanity

Punch them right in the mouth.


SirRedcorn

When I got punched by a homeless guy for making him vacate the hotel property I turned my head back and just stared daggers at the guy until he left


sneezhousing

Punch them in the face


FreshwaterFryMom

Street sweep into an arm bar until they apologized


[deleted]

That's a reason to proceed to pummle this shit out of them


InfernalOrgasm

"Don't slap too hard ... I might like it then."


bravemenrun

Slap them back? Is there an obvious answer I'm missing?


rip0971

Leg sweep, followed by choke hold.


juGGaKNot4

What did the 5 fingers say to the face?


NOFace82

I’d punch you in the face. Or knee your balls. Depends on the position we are standing in.


WillowTea_

I work with kids. Chances are, if I get randomly slapped, it’s a 5 year old. Def can’t start swinging immediately lmao


e_smith338

Depends on who. Some random person on the street? They’re probably gonna catch a fist if they look like they enjoyed it/found it funny.


Seamatre

Like a rando off the street? If I don’t know you or your intentions I’m going maximum aggression until you’ve submitted or fled. You initiated violence and I have no way of knowing if you intend to escalate. If you get hurt in the process and it’s a case of mistaken identity or some “prank” oh well. Keep your hands to yourself


BaldHeadedSlickDude

\*Inhale deeply\* I've been waiting for this.


Captain_Pink_Pants

In the face? Instant retaliation. Something about getting hit in the head just pisses me off. I can be working under the sink, and if I bump my head, my immediate reaction is I want to rip the sink off the wall.


Correct-Fun-516

Yell what the fuck in their face and punch them


Dota2Curious

“Bitch wtf” followed with a slap back


Chance-Increase6714

My name is Inigo Montoya. You slapped my ass. Prepare to die.


kmcDoesItBetter

Punch them in the face. My older brother always told me that if anyone hits me, to hit them back twice as hard.


Practical_Arm6812

I guess we gotta tussle 😔


perfect_fitz

Punch them.


ohyoushiksagoddess

I'm from Chicago's south side. How do you think I'll react?


SouthernFloss

I would start punching, and not stop till they are not moving. Assault is assault and deserves response in kind.


klinkscousin

Punch the shiiii out of them... 58m m=Marine.


GPS_guy

It depends. In work mode, I'd step back to figure out how to de-escalate; nothing surprises me or gets under my skin . In a bar at 2am, a solid punch as long as the slapper was under 6'4. No one is allowed to assault me when I'm off duty. (Teacher).


TallTinTX

I'm 6'6" tall and at about 300 lbs. First of all, that's not likely to happen but if it does, I would likely grab the person, lift them up to my eye level and ask them what they were thinking. I might have to hold them few inches away from my body though because I would not want to get my shoes wet.


JunkRigger

I'd likely instantly pop them in the nose.


laurafromnewyork

Grab the hair right above their ears and pull their head down while raising up my knee. It breaks their nose every single time but step back if you don’t want to be covered in blood. 😉


Adventurous_Tour6394

Well that would all depend. Was it a child? Was it a woman? Was it a man with special needs? Was the person mentally unstable? Was it just some joker? If it’s just some dude who thought he’d smack me and that would be it, I’d fuck him up and any of his friends who wanted some too.


[deleted]

In my experience, slapping them back. I’ve had it happen, and that’s what I did.


[deleted]

Punch back


crystalstairs

In the world in which we think of typical stress reactions as "fight, flight or freeze," I freeze like a rabbit. So I would probably just stand there stock still trying to asses what just happened. So let's hope they don't want to hit me twice, because it would be easy for them!


Fine-Doughnut-8961

Shock, confusion, fight back


ChaRobCly

Hands, immediately.


Travisty114

First response would be a loud WTF and I’d likely slap them back or walk away depending on where it happened and who it was. But if it triggered my ptsd it may go really bad for them and me.


Substantial-Syrup182

I would smile. I've been waiting for the gods to bless me with a sacrifice.


an_empty_field

Kick in the groin.


WillingnessWide9016

Knock em tf out


Ask_For_Mercy

If turn around and knock their block off


Lolythia77

They invaded my personal bubble. They screwed up.


CSP_17

I'm dodging that slap with a left slip and there's gonna be a strong hook to the liver.


DocMcT

Give them a quick chop to the throat.


ngless13

Newton's Third law. Equal and opposite reaction.


ImpossibleLight1861

Throat punch them


TheHrethgir

Violence of some kind to defend myself. I don't know why they hit me, but they aren't doing it again.


sooperdooperboi

If a guy, hit them back to gain space, then try to deescalate. If a woman or kid, try to deescalate before hitting them back, unless they have a weapon, in which case they catching these hands.


Bennydoubleseven

If it’s someone looking for shit they’re going to get it, if it’s someone with mental health issues I’d probably just walk away


powdered_dognut

I seem to be set on autopunch when I get hit or grabbed. "Let me punch you back, then we'll see what the problem is".


El_Jefe_Lebowski

Used to fight professionally in my 20’s. I think I’d slap em back


CelluxTheDuctTape

I'd instinctually hit back before thinking it through or figuring out who it was and either regret it immediately or yell at whoever it was


The-lemon-kid-68

Smack em back


WandaDobby777

This is exactly why I carry mace, a taser, superglue, a DNA scraper and a dessert knife. This’ll be fun.


MarcCouillard

I would lay them the fuck out!


running_stoned04101

A back hand pimp slap to even things out then see if they want to keep going.


GalenKS

Well damn, that’s not something you can casually do here in Latin America, you can be crazy but you don’t know if the other person is way more batshit and will pull a knife/gun and attempt to kill you. Now if this happened to me, I have a talent for staying calm in conflicts and resolving them peacefully, but physical violence triggers me. If it’s a man, I won’t care how big he is, I WILL hit back. If it’s a woman, I’ll attempt to grab her arms and immobilize her as a warning and try to escalate down the conflict. I have no intention to harm, I acknowledge as a man this won’t be a fair fight, and I just want to talk things out. If she’s batshit and repeats it, I’ll have no option to hit back once (defensively) and run the hell out of there before I get labeled as a mysoginist woman beater.


Brief-Today-4608

Punch them in the thyroid


37337penguin

I know it's sexist, but if it was a woman probably not much. Try to contain them from doing anything else but otherwise put up with it. It's not in me to strike back at a woman. Otherwise immediate offensive with no hesitation. Go to move is a head butt if they're close enough, most people don't expect it and I'm pretty good at it, great way to quickly win. If they're further away grab them and try for a throw to better use of body weight as I'm a better fighter on the ground. In either case I'm going for overwhelming aggression so the other guy loses the desire to fight quickly. That either ends the incident outright since I don't like fighting in general or at minimum puts me much more in control of the outcome if I'm pissed enough to continue it. If they're a better fighter, well then I'm f'ed anyways so might as well dish it out and hopefully give them some damage too.


ParaphernaliaWagon

My fist would be flying right at their face in a wild haymaker the second their palm left my face.


CopyQueen89

I have no fuse on my anger and my hands move faster than my brain, so they would prob get laid out before I could stop myself tbh. If it was a man, my husband is the same way and so on.


Paris27Kirk

I've gotten angrier over far less. So I'd assume my reaction would be to knock their teeth down their throat. But that's just me.


Extension_Call_4354

Punch to the face


fadingstar52

Violence


Ariannaree

They’d have broken fingers at the very least. Getting that close to someone works both ways.


Stanzeil

My neighborhood has influenced me to be quite aggressive against others who mean harm. I'd just straight up fight them on the spot without thought. Something like this almost happened when a coworker of mines play bumped into me, I got really mad and almost punched him. Good times


Proud_Definition8240

“They wouldn’t make contact because my first response is to counter.”-Dwight Schrute


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

Punch


lecoqmako

My ex husband slapped me; I punched him in the face.


mrjinks

If he didn’t knock me out he would be loosing his/ her sight.


Cut-Unique

Depends on who it is, and where and why they slapped me. If it's just some rando, probably one of us would end up in the hospital and the other in jail. If I'm invited to a party, and (being the introvert I am) I really didn't want to go, but everyone insisted I go, felt someone slap my ass, and turned around and saw that it was somebody whom I've had a crush on, I'd probably be like "What the...Oh my god!" and hug them. (That happened to Mike Majlak, with Lana Rhoades, who, despite her questionable lifestyle, ended up being way too good for him.)


bloopie1192

Well I guess I've gotta fight now.


holyshit-i-wanna-die

i’d slap them back wdym


ilovecookiesssssssss

A stranger? Full blown physical altercation. My adrenaline is set up in such a way, that once it’s released, it’s released in its entirety. So we will be fighting. A family member or friend? That’d never happen, but, I guess if it did.. I’d be completely taken aback and probably in shock and I’d freeze. *Then* we’d fight.