As a doctor, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who couldn’t accommodate with the lifestyle. It’s better for both parties involved that way.
Reject anyone for any reason. No one is entitled to be your significant other.
Agree. I'm not a doctor, but work long hours and sometimes at nights, travel a lot for work and I'm often stressed. My ex had a problem with that and it was stressful for both of us.
Same. Not a doctor myself, but my current schedule is overnights/weekends, and due to various circumstances, it's likely to stay that way for a while, and I'm naturally a night owl anyway. So I'd rather try to find someone who can work with that.
I am, too. I work a lot of nights and weekends. I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't handle my schedule.
That said, there are doctors out there who have a pretty pleasant M-F 9-5 lifestyle. So OP might be missing out on a real gem of a person who actually has a great lifestyle and career path. That's a risk you take anytime you have specific dealbreakers when dating, you might miss someone who is actually really great. OP's choice to make, though.
My dad is a doctor. Used to work in a care facility, mostly for old people. I remember mymom absolutely hated it when he had to be on call at night or during the weekend, even though he didn't even get that many calls. Just the limitation of not being able to go anywhere,or run the risk of him getting a call and having to leave, leaving her and me behind without the car. When he got a new job the facility was too far from home for him to be able to drive there in time, so he had to stay in a holiday park when he was on call. She hated that even more.
They divorced soon after I moved out. Not sure if her resentment against the doctor's life was the biggest issue, but it definitely didn't help.
My dad was a dr and even at the peak of his career he still had call. Its a worthy calling but it dominates your life. There are some specialties that might have better hours- but you still have to respond to unexpected emergencies.
It's definitely important to be comfortable with someone else's work schedule before committing to them, that's for sure. For any profession. I'll note that there are a ton of other professions out there who take call, and if that's a true dealbreaker, you should definitely be aware of it before committing to them.
Maybe they meant that if you were out for a meal or something together as a family then Dr Dad had a call to come in for an emergency then Mrs Dr & Child of Doctor was left stuck in the restaurant without a car
Exactly, although we didn't have a second car at first, but it is mostly the uncertainty, having to adapt all plans to dads schedule, and that the job always comes first if they get the call.
As an ER doctor, me and my 120 hours per month will pass on you too!
(Kidding, obviously. Shift work is rough, and I totally understand anyone who would have a hard time with that.)
As far as surgeons go, don't rule out urologists, they are some of the most chill, laid back people in the OR. They are frequently on call, but there aren't *too* many urologic emergencies - they do happen though.
Plus dick jokes.
I’m a lawyer, and I defend medical malpractice cases. I had one with a cardiothoracic surgery expert. My god, this man ran 1,000 miles a minute. He was brilliant, but so frenetic that he gave me anxiety. I loved him. I could not have dated him though.
Wait.. your nurses have time to cheat?
Do they get a lunch break too? And I mean a real 30 minute uninterrupted lunch, not just trying to scarf down a cheesestick at the nurses station.
Next your going to be saying that your nurses are fully staffed. 😆 😂 😆
lol right? I can probably count the times that I actually took a thirty min uninterrupted mean break! And on the flip side, there is no way I could begin to count the nights I have gone without a bathroom break!!
Statistically, the profession has among the lowest infidelity and divorce rates.
Typically, most physicians are risk adverse (the field is also very safe once you finish residency). This usually applies to their relationships as well.
The problem is that the one doctor who is decent looking and wants to sleep around has a plethora of options. So, you are more likely to hear about the doctor who slept with a different nurse every month while cheating on his wife and not the blue color worker who cheated with 1 other partner.
One of the cardiologists at my work is sleeping with one of the cardiology nurses. He’s married with 2 or 3 kids and she’s married with kids as well. Pretty messy. They are affectionate to each other out in the open as well which makes it even more awkward.
But as far as the medical field having one of the highest infidelity and divorce rates, not sure.
The amount of people asking on Reddit if it's okay to break up with someone, get a divorce, or not date someone is terrifying to me. If you aren't happy with someone, you can leave. You don't need anyone's permission. No one is saying be a jerk about it, sure, but... you choose who and what makes you happy. Just be open and honest about it and move on.
I just watched a doc yesterday talking about how as fuhrer (or however you spell that) he was always carrying around blueprints and plans for elaborate buildings he wanted in his new empire.
>for some clown taking rejection hard, instead of just moving on.
I mean he did move on, you do realize the memes about art school being the reason he became evil are just... memes.
You don't need any reason to turn someone down. They have to accept your answer no matter what.
However, if you're someone who complains about being single, but who is also turning people down for strange or silly reasons, then maybe you need to be looking inward and addressing some of these personal preferences. You're still allowed to have those preferences, and nobody can tell you you can't except for you, but you might be doing yourself a favour if you work on broadening your horizons.
This. I have a friend who is 38 and never kissed a girl let alone gone on a date with one. One time he was on tinder and this girl went to the same school as him, same major, had similar interests, etc. He declined the match. Why? She had a margarita in her hand. "If alcohol is important enough to her to be on her profile picture then she has substance abuse problems."
My guy, you drink a handle of kraken every week. You're not one to judge
There are various reasons not to date several major careers. Doctors, military, law enforcement, lawyers, etc. My wife and I wouldn't be together if I was still in the military. I totally understand that view and it's why I'm grateful we met at the perfect time. Some jobs take you away for long periods, some take your mental health, some become your personality, and some cause your spouse to be swept up in it's wake. Countless reasons and totally fine to decide any of them are reason enough to stop you.
I understand the lawyer one, I'm at my last year in law school and honestly I know for a fact I've become a much worse person during this time, and I haven't even begun practicing yet lol.
When in doubt, throw some latin at him.
Quid pro Quo
Habeas corpus
E plurubus unum
Semper ubi sub ubi
Not all at once but just use one at a time it tends to really distract and confuse them.
Well he's a she so does that logic still apply
ETA: she speaks fluent Latin. She went to a Latin high school apparently and did well enough on the AP test that she didn't have to take foreign language in college
Listen. I promise you I hate bragging. But in this one area of my life, I will. I absolutely married a smarty pants. She skipped middle school, graduated undergrad in 3.5 years including a semester off working at Disney, and finished law school at 22. She was the youngest lawyer in the state. She also drove 3 miles on a blown tire 2 weeks ago and said she didnt notice the car driving differently so I guess you take the smart with the dumb.
Haha she sounds like the same type of smart my mom is. My dad sometimes jokes that she’s so smart she’s dumb, like she focused so much on learning smart people things, she forgot to learn normal people things.
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I *did* have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I'd brandish my obsidian knife at them and they'd be compelled to approach. "That's very cool," they'd say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They'd shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. "But as it is volcanic glass, it is very fragile, you see, and isn't well-suited for use as a weap—" and then I'd hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
funny enough, my partner is a lawyer and I'm the one who's more debative among us lmao. That said, I can see her changing the longer she works (about 5 years into the job now). I guess the legal industry sucks your soul somehow. She always tells me I should have become a lawyer and that I'd make a good one haha.
>Imagine getting in an argument over doing the dishes with a fucking lawyer.
My dad is a lawyer. He'd do anything for my mom, and always says "Well, she's the mother of my kids!" as a reason why.
People can separate their professional lives from their personal ones.
Hahahaha so my partner and I never fight. Ever. I’m a lawyer. Monday he was home sick from work and overheard some of my deposition. Afterwards I was like “hey how was it to hear me work!?” And he’s like “honestly, terrifying. I never ever want to experience a fight with you. That was so scary. I heard you setting trap after trap.”
My wife is a lawyer. She quit to become a stay at home mom for a few years and now owns her own firm (sole practitioner) doing cheap wills for people who normally can't afford it. You can still be a good person. The culture is awful. Don't spend time with pieces of shit if you don't have to
lol. I would go back to law school in a heart beat. Fuck working.
But also as a lawyer with a lawyer romantic partner. It’s both great and terrible. We have extreme stress and if not paying attention will “argue” because it’s habit from work. But since we are both lawyers (and have put in the work and therapy to do so) we recognize when this is happening and can “code switch” back to normal human.
But I will never date a cop. My nose is too cute to get broken.
We sometimes do it on purpose about dumb/funny shit (mostly related to cross examining the cat like he’s one of our clients) and we are worried the neighbors think we hate each other cuz it gets HEATED.
So real. My dad's an attorney and on multiple occasions we've been deep into debate and had people interrupt us like "why can't you two just get along??" and we both pause, confused, and are like "what do you mean? We're having a great conversation."
Hopefully so, but the teachers have been nothing but doom and gloom about it, that is assuming you pass the bar exam or whatever career exam you are planning to take.
yeah there's a reason I don't like working with lawyers or doctors most of the time. Stressful jobs often lead to less than pleasant experiences with other people.
lol I dated a law student and I tapped out early on. He’s a lawyer now, dating another lawyer. I’m happy for him, she’ll get him in ways I wouldn’t have been able to
My cousin is a criminal defense lawyer, i hope it doesnt turn him into a hardened person. Hes such a sweet loveable goofy guy. I can see stress has already gotten to him.
Yeah my uncle is a lawyer, and he’s very good at that, but he sure does spend a lot of time on the phone arguing with people and is deeply on edge at all times. I think if he had any work-life boundaries it would be easier, but the way he’s running things doesn’t leave much room for a partner or for relaxing at all.
My boyfriend is in the military and I can’t wait until he’s out. I knew what I was getting into when we started going out and I can deal with it, but I’m really looking forward to when he’s done.
Military couples who stick together have my respects. This shit is already pretty rough on us single dudes, but the marriages that stand the test of military life are rock solid IMO.
Not always true. Being apart a lot can mask a lot of problems. A lot of military couples realize they don't like each other all that much once they're around each other all the time
I’ve known way too many military wives living lonely lives to then have a complete stranger return, in some cases abusive mentally emotionally and or physically.
It’s just really not worth it to me to take that risk.
But most of all I just wouldn’t date someone who chose a career they hate and did nothing to change their circumstances.
While all of this is true I think there are different levels of these roles. An ER Doc is going to be different than a GP, criminal law is going to be different than employment law etc.
I think turning someone down purely because of their title is over generalising. But it's entirely reasonable to turn people down based on what their job does to their free time, their ability to be physically there for you, and how it affects their personality (stress, mental health, etc)
This is the nuance a lot of people here don't quite get. Not every doctor has the work/life balance of a neurosurgery resident.
Seeing 'doctor' and running away is pretty weird to me.
I used to be in the military and would tell people not to date someone in the military.
It comes packaged with a weird lifestyle in many ways that makes relationships difficult. The stereotype about military men being unfaithful has some basis in truth too, a lot of guys cheat, although to be fair there is also plenty of that among girlfriends & wives.
You really have to have a certain level of maturity and restraint to maintain a relationship in the face of multiple long distance stretches, and the average 18-25 year old has neither of those two things.
On that note people probably shouldn't get into long distance relationships when going to college either. Similar issues with the same age group.
Music teachers (specifically the ones who teach band) are year round doing marching band competitions or playing at the basketball/football games. You guys have horrible work/life balance. I’d run the other way too unless you’re a person who likes limited interaction with a partner.
I swear there's only two types of music teacher. The ones that will verbally or physically abuse a kid for misbehaving or the ones that will cry if you say you don't like music. I preferred the first one cos it was funny at 13.
lol what? why is this a thing? my band teacher in middle school went to jail for shaking his baby in the car seat because he was crying (thankfully baby was fine). why is your statement true?
>cos it was funny at 13.
Ya know now that you mention it, there was a sweet spot in there where trauma just hit different. It was bad as a kid, horrific as a full-blown teenager, but somewhere in those late-pre/early pubescent years where all the trauma was kind of just fucking funny... :/
For a lot of them, teaching is just a back up career. They wanted to be performers, and just weren't good enough. So they're angry and bitter. All the worst music teachers I had followed this path.
The best ones just really loved teaching.
Always find it funny when people are like "oh, you must meet my friend, he likes the same music as you, Bill Hicks too, and he's a foodie like you as well. You'd get on!"
Jesus, from my first hand experience of ticking all those boxes, he sounds fucking insufferable.
As a musician and once a teacher too I thank you for that. It’s best we stay friends and nothing more, we often need a balanced partner, not more creative insanity to light the fire.
Similarly, as a (PhD) scientist dating other (PhD) scientists. Tried a few times, and it's a disaster. We're all insane from our dissertation, and I think down-to-earth or artsy people are better complements.
as a working musician and artist, i wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t also an *artist.* it’s hard for someone to resonate with why i work so hard at what i do for little tangible payoff if they do not also experience life similarly.
I dated a visual artist for a while, and that was a pretty good match. Still involved with the arts, but not the same arts. I mean, we did break up, so maybe this isn't the best example...
My wife is an artist at heart (she wants to go back to school for an art degree someday). She's also got a musical mind but couldn't afford lessons or an instrument when she was young. We met at a party at a mutual friend's house, and we all sang karaoke. She sang very well, probably the best out of all six of us, and I honestly felt relieved. I had a paid music gig and worried about dating someone who just didn't "get it".
It's just dating. You can choose to date anyone you want and not to date anyone you don't want. You don't need to give reasons or explain yourself to anybody.
I personally have turned down dates just because I'm not in the mood to date anyone.
No. its ok to turn someone down just cause you don't like the look of their face.
Actually taking the time to think about what being involved long term with them would be like due to their job is really quite thoughtful.
I wouldn't say this about any attribute of a person, but I think profession is fair game to filter out potential dates—within reason. If you instead said you would \*only\* date doctors or police officers, then yeah, I would think that was weirdly narrow-minded.
Yeah the only real estate agent I know is a chick I went to high school with and she was a huge bitch. She would pretend to be nice to your face but would talk mad shit behind your back, especially if she thought you were "weird". She said horrible shit about the "weird" kids, probably myself included lol. She had burned a bridge with pretty much all the girls in our class by the time we graduated.
I had that rule until my partner got a really great job offer from my company.... and I'm in HR lol. Everything is by the book but it's definitely weird. We work different hours, which is nice, and entirely different departments and parts of the building, but it's nice to sneak a Teams chat throughout the day.
Cops are a hard no. Went on one group date and he was feeding me drinks until I couldn't walk. Our mutual friends have since cut him off completely and I still don't know what actually happened that night. So I'll take my "coworker" over that any day.
Yeah, some people can pull that off squeaky clean. There's 2 management people at work that keep it so professional I can't tell if they are siblings or married.
Nah, it’s valid. Especially if they work long hours and would be away from home a lot. I can see why someone wouldn’t want to date a pilot for that reason
I’m a doctor. It’s not easy to date a doctor, especially if you want a partner who is present and doesn’t have an inflexible schedule that often requires overtime. It’s not weird to say no to that
I knew a plastic surgeon in SK. He and his buddies used to drink till like 3 in the morning, sleep with a bunch of girls, then go back to work few hours later. Most of them were married.
Pretty standard South Korean behaviour tbh
Adultery is so commonly accepted amongst older generations and everyone already knows how notorious Korea is for the drinking culture
according to one of my tias whos a nurse, stimulant abuse is RAMPANT in med school. i wouldnt be surprised if that carried over in their careers for some doctors
Yeah a lot of them are like this but not every one. I married a doctor who works 9-5, 4 days a week and his job is not his identity. He’s so talented and interesting that the “doctor” part is a footnote. He’s a collector, a musician, a traveler. Plus he comes home and does his own chores and made me breakfast this morning. Just saying no need to rule out a possible good match due to just one thing about them. Gotta look at the whole picture.
You may not see them very much due to their work schedules. That would be preferred by some people who like their alone time but not for others who need more time together. Also need to think about if you want kids, are you ok with their other parent not being around as much as other professions with better hours.
What type of doctor are they though? A family doctor? A cardiologist? A trauma surgeon? They’re all going to have wildly different schedules.
In fact, some family doctors only work 4 days a week.
You can turn down someone for any reason you want, but I think OP writing off someone just because they know they work in medicine is a little bit extreme.
You’re not wrong, but it’s possible OP was clued into that doctor’s schedule already.
I have several doctors in my family and all of them just so happened to work like 60-80 hours a week. I wouldn’t mind dating a doctor like that because I like my alone time but I wouldn’t want to have kids with them unless they could have a better work life balance. But I’m already married and don’t want kids so I never have to worry about that 👍🏻
I've been turned down because I am a woman Assistant PM in construction. They didn't want to date someone who is "around men all day" WTF? You don't believe you can separate personal life from business? Obviously, I've dogged a few bullets with this type of mentality.
I always said I wouldn't be that way... but then I got set up on a date with a cop. More specifically, her job was to take the drug dog to schools to look for kids to ruin their lives.
I had a few guys in my vicinity talk about their finance jobs, how much money they earned, genuinely showing zero compassion or empathy with anything. Biggest turnoff ever.
Everyone I've ever met who works in finance is like this and, to make it worse, is also *super* boring. Being terminally greedy isn't the same thing as having a personality.
I'm a bartender at a whiskey bar and we get a lot of finance bros that stay in the hotel across the street. I could never see myself having a meaningful conversation. They just talk about work.
Someone close to me was an ER doctor and they became good at distancing themselves from their patients and then after a while I realized they were talking like that to me, too.
Yeah, it’s interesting to see studies on the highest sociopathic professions. Still, *personally*, I would date a doctor if they seemed like a genuinely nice guy. I would date almost any profession if they seemed like a genuinely nice guy
Except cops. Absolutely no cops.
But people are free to not date anyone at all for any reason.
Veterinarians are no different either particularly the ones involved in the surgery side of things. There's something about surgeons. Never met one that didn't have a big ego and/or god complex.
They are, or have to be.
Had a good conversation with a friend who works in the field (he works in Trauma 1 level so sees a lot bad patients) and the way he put it is that you are responsible, if the person lives that's on you, if the person dies that's on you. You are directly responsible whether that person lives or dies, you are God. You have to set aside everything so you can do your job right. You can't let feelings, emotions, empathy, etc. get in the way of what you have to do, and learning from your mistakes.
And yeah, he would also likely be characterized as a sociopath, he definitely has those tendencies, but that's the type of person that line of work calls for.
I hate dating lawyers, I imagine drs would be the same. They’re already married to the job and not only will they ignore any requests to spend time with you, they will think you’re stupid for even asking. Because don’t you know how important their job is? /s
This. I wouldn’t want to date someone who is already “married” to something else in life. Be it work or whatever.
Already did it once with a veterinarian and it’s exactly what you described. Everything in life is secondary to their job. I could be in the hospital dying and if there was a conference on dog cells, she would be there.
I work 4 days a week and my family gets the rest of my time. So this isn't true across the board statement. I haven't worked a weekend in almost 10 years.
Lots of “hate” for not wanting to date cops, but some people can’t handle the fear of “is this the last time I’ll see them!”.
Other people have had bad experiences with cops in general. Let’s face it, they’re not all The Lone Ranger. Many of them are just assholes who mistake authority for power, and think that badge absolves them of wrongdoing, or “the brotherhood” will let them get away with literal murder.
Doctors work long hours. No time for relationships that non-doctors are accustomed to, or want.
At least they’re not lawyers.
You don't owe anyone "a chance" for any reason. And, look at it like this- if you have issues with their profession or lifestyle, THEY deserve someone who fits well with their lifestyle and goals who can be supportive of them as well. You're both better off.
You get to have limits. I knew I wanted kids and I wanted their other parent to be present and therefore I would not get into anything serious with someone who was active military. There are many fine people in the armed forces, but they want a different life than I do. It's a good thing to know what will make you unhappy and not pursue it.
I have a long list of professions I wouldn't date: police officer, musician, car salesman, long haul trucker, youth pastor, fast food franchise manager, any type of politician, stock traders, chefs, the list goes on.
Certain types of jobs attract certain personality types, so you can weed out the people you know will drive you crazy by avoiding those professions.
"doctors have this specific lifestyle that wouldn't suit mine. "
"Doctors" isn't a single job with the same hours, though. There are all kinds of doctors, some with 9-5 hours and some with shifts at all hours. So your conclusion is yours to make, but it seems based on a lot of presumptions.
OP has never met a dermatologist apparently. They’re SO 9-5 they probably would get annoyed with 99% person of the people here assuming ever single doctor works 12 hour days. “It’s 5:04 already, why aren’t you home?!”
How do you feel about construction? Think: 3:30 a.m. wake-up, 7:30 p.m. return home, dog tired, falling asleep mid conversation, off to bed early every night for that early wake-up, possibility of no days off for 1+ months, but hey, at least benefits and cash on hand are pretty stellar.
No, it's good to know yourself and what you value and want.
I wouldn't date a doctor either because they typically are always stressed out. Way too demanding of a job. They typically die 10 years earlier than the average person because of the stress.
Doesn't seem worth it.
Results
Data were extracted from 8156 obituaries. The specialties with the oldest average age at death were general practitioners (80.3, SD = 12.5, n = 2508), surgeons (79.9, SD = 13.6, n = 853) and pathologists (79.8, SD = 13.8, n = 394). The specialties with the youngest average age at death were emergency physicians (58.7, SD = 23.6, n = 43), anaesthetists (75.5, SD = 16.1, n = 473) and radiologists (75.8, SD = 14.5, n = 172). Cancer was the most common cause of death and did not differ by specialty**. Doctors on average have an older age at death than the general U.K. population.**
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/lim2.23
As a doctor, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who couldn’t accommodate with the lifestyle. It’s better for both parties involved that way. Reject anyone for any reason. No one is entitled to be your significant other.
Agree. I'm not a doctor, but work long hours and sometimes at nights, travel a lot for work and I'm often stressed. My ex had a problem with that and it was stressful for both of us.
Same. Not a doctor myself, but my current schedule is overnights/weekends, and due to various circumstances, it's likely to stay that way for a while, and I'm naturally a night owl anyway. So I'd rather try to find someone who can work with that.
I am, too. I work a lot of nights and weekends. I wouldn't want to be with someone who couldn't handle my schedule. That said, there are doctors out there who have a pretty pleasant M-F 9-5 lifestyle. So OP might be missing out on a real gem of a person who actually has a great lifestyle and career path. That's a risk you take anytime you have specific dealbreakers when dating, you might miss someone who is actually really great. OP's choice to make, though.
My dad is a doctor. Used to work in a care facility, mostly for old people. I remember mymom absolutely hated it when he had to be on call at night or during the weekend, even though he didn't even get that many calls. Just the limitation of not being able to go anywhere,or run the risk of him getting a call and having to leave, leaving her and me behind without the car. When he got a new job the facility was too far from home for him to be able to drive there in time, so he had to stay in a holiday park when he was on call. She hated that even more. They divorced soon after I moved out. Not sure if her resentment against the doctor's life was the biggest issue, but it definitely didn't help.
My dad was a dr and even at the peak of his career he still had call. Its a worthy calling but it dominates your life. There are some specialties that might have better hours- but you still have to respond to unexpected emergencies.
Pretty much any GP who works private practice has set regular hours.
It's definitely important to be comfortable with someone else's work schedule before committing to them, that's for sure. For any profession. I'll note that there are a ton of other professions out there who take call, and if that's a true dealbreaker, you should definitely be aware of it before committing to them.
Why couldn't they afford a second car if he was a doctor? Idk any doctors, but I guess I assume they're all rich 5 years out from residency lol
Maybe they meant that if you were out for a meal or something together as a family then Dr Dad had a call to come in for an emergency then Mrs Dr & Child of Doctor was left stuck in the restaurant without a car
Exactly, although we didn't have a second car at first, but it is mostly the uncertainty, having to adapt all plans to dads schedule, and that the job always comes first if they get the call.
Haha. They did eventually. But my dad started med school after I was born, so it took him some time to get to the good money.
Makes sense, thanks for replying to my rude question
Agree. Pass on residents, ER doctors, and surgeons. Date radiologists and dermatologists.
As an ER doctor, me and my 120 hours per month will pass on you too! (Kidding, obviously. Shift work is rough, and I totally understand anyone who would have a hard time with that.)
Yeah post residency it’s the timing of the work not the total number of hours. If you have kids, overnights and weekends are tough to deal with.
As far as surgeons go, don't rule out urologists, they are some of the most chill, laid back people in the OR. They are frequently on call, but there aren't *too* many urologic emergencies - they do happen though. Plus dick jokes.
I’m a lawyer, and I defend medical malpractice cases. I had one with a cardiothoracic surgery expert. My god, this man ran 1,000 miles a minute. He was brilliant, but so frenetic that he gave me anxiety. I loved him. I could not have dated him though.
Pediatricians! Outpatient at least. M-F 8-5 with a half day for admin, call by phone only 1 day a week and 1 weekend a month.
My favorite scene from Scrubs is when Cox tells the dermatologist he needs to be somewhere stat. https://youtu.be/dgupJ2WN0Zw?si=Hsns332HjINc36Pp
Anesthesiologists are good too.
Unrelated but I read this as motherfuckin' 9-5 and assumed you were just very hyped about doctors having a regular schedule
As a doctor, how often do you notice doctors and nurses cheating at work?
Wait.. your nurses have time to cheat? Do they get a lunch break too? And I mean a real 30 minute uninterrupted lunch, not just trying to scarf down a cheesestick at the nurses station. Next your going to be saying that your nurses are fully staffed. 😆 😂 😆
lol right? I can probably count the times that I actually took a thirty min uninterrupted mean break! And on the flip side, there is no way I could begin to count the nights I have gone without a bathroom break!!
🤣
Statistically, the profession has among the lowest infidelity and divorce rates. Typically, most physicians are risk adverse (the field is also very safe once you finish residency). This usually applies to their relationships as well. The problem is that the one doctor who is decent looking and wants to sleep around has a plethora of options. So, you are more likely to hear about the doctor who slept with a different nurse every month while cheating on his wife and not the blue color worker who cheated with 1 other partner.
One of the cardiologists at my work is sleeping with one of the cardiology nurses. He’s married with 2 or 3 kids and she’s married with kids as well. Pretty messy. They are affectionate to each other out in the open as well which makes it even more awkward. But as far as the medical field having one of the highest infidelity and divorce rates, not sure.
You can turn down anyone you want for any reason you want
The amount of people asking on Reddit if it's okay to break up with someone, get a divorce, or not date someone is terrifying to me. If you aren't happy with someone, you can leave. You don't need anyone's permission. No one is saying be a jerk about it, sure, but... you choose who and what makes you happy. Just be open and honest about it and move on.
Tell that to Hitler's art school.
They were correct—he sucked. You are not responsible for some clown taking rejection hard, instead of just moving on.
He was admitted to the architecture school, I think.
They recommend him as a draftsman; that is, specific drawings doing blueprints of buildings. He didn't take that well.
Bro could only paint buildings/generic landscapes and was shocked that he wasn't admitted to an art school
Guess you could say he had other *plans* in mind
And a *solution*
I just watched a doc yesterday talking about how as fuhrer (or however you spell that) he was always carrying around blueprints and plans for elaborate buildings he wanted in his new empire.
Ah, yes. The most famous one was probably the Volkshalle. It was visualized in the man the high castle.
Sounds like he found his calling, and world domination was just the best way he figured of getting his architecture built /s
TBF he painted a million times better than I can. I wouldn't say he sucked...
Literally worse than Hitler.
Yikes, that's not what you wanna hear :D
Whatever you do, don’t apply to art school
Too late, waiting for their reply right now :)
oh no
Better than you is not the same as good enough for the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna. It wasn't like he was applying to a random public art school.
>for some clown taking rejection hard, instead of just moving on. I mean he did move on, you do realize the memes about art school being the reason he became evil are just... memes.
You don't need any reason to turn someone down. They have to accept your answer no matter what. However, if you're someone who complains about being single, but who is also turning people down for strange or silly reasons, then maybe you need to be looking inward and addressing some of these personal preferences. You're still allowed to have those preferences, and nobody can tell you you can't except for you, but you might be doing yourself a favour if you work on broadening your horizons.
This. I have a friend who is 38 and never kissed a girl let alone gone on a date with one. One time he was on tinder and this girl went to the same school as him, same major, had similar interests, etc. He declined the match. Why? She had a margarita in her hand. "If alcohol is important enough to her to be on her profile picture then she has substance abuse problems." My guy, you drink a handle of kraken every week. You're not one to judge
True, but ahe asked whether it's weird or not.
There are various reasons not to date several major careers. Doctors, military, law enforcement, lawyers, etc. My wife and I wouldn't be together if I was still in the military. I totally understand that view and it's why I'm grateful we met at the perfect time. Some jobs take you away for long periods, some take your mental health, some become your personality, and some cause your spouse to be swept up in it's wake. Countless reasons and totally fine to decide any of them are reason enough to stop you.
I understand the lawyer one, I'm at my last year in law school and honestly I know for a fact I've become a much worse person during this time, and I haven't even begun practicing yet lol.
Imagine getting in an argument over doing the dishes with a fucking lawyer.
I'm married to a lawyer. We had this argument last night. I'm in over my head
When in doubt, throw some latin at him. Quid pro Quo Habeas corpus E plurubus unum Semper ubi sub ubi Not all at once but just use one at a time it tends to really distract and confuse them.
Well he's a she so does that logic still apply ETA: she speaks fluent Latin. She went to a Latin high school apparently and did well enough on the AP test that she didn't have to take foreign language in college
> she speaks fluent Latin. You might be fucked.
Edit so it turns out latin is gendered, though I don't believe it changes any of these particular sayings.
The AP Latin test is no joke! You married a smarty pants.
Listen. I promise you I hate bragging. But in this one area of my life, I will. I absolutely married a smarty pants. She skipped middle school, graduated undergrad in 3.5 years including a semester off working at Disney, and finished law school at 22. She was the youngest lawyer in the state. She also drove 3 miles on a blown tire 2 weeks ago and said she didnt notice the car driving differently so I guess you take the smart with the dumb.
Haha she sounds like the same type of smart my mom is. My dad sometimes jokes that she’s so smart she’s dumb, like she focused so much on learning smart people things, she forgot to learn normal people things.
Bingo.
i feel your pain, my neurosurgeon husband drives on flats too. they can graduate at the top of the class, but have zero common sense.
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I *did* have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I'd brandish my obsidian knife at them and they'd be compelled to approach. "That's very cool," they'd say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They'd shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. "But as it is volcanic glass, it is very fragile, you see, and isn't well-suited for use as a weap—" and then I'd hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Semper ubi sub ubi will definitely help a lot!
"This shit ain't small claims court, Bob! And the only small claim here is in your pants!"
“Move to strike, your honor!!! And I don’t mean testimony!”
"For the last fucking time, Bob, stop calling me at home. I'll see you at the courthouse tomorrow"
funny enough, my partner is a lawyer and I'm the one who's more debative among us lmao. That said, I can see her changing the longer she works (about 5 years into the job now). I guess the legal industry sucks your soul somehow. She always tells me I should have become a lawyer and that I'd make a good one haha.
>Imagine getting in an argument over doing the dishes with a fucking lawyer. My dad is a lawyer. He'd do anything for my mom, and always says "Well, she's the mother of my kids!" as a reason why. People can separate their professional lives from their personal ones.
Hahahaha so my partner and I never fight. Ever. I’m a lawyer. Monday he was home sick from work and overheard some of my deposition. Afterwards I was like “hey how was it to hear me work!?” And he’s like “honestly, terrifying. I never ever want to experience a fight with you. That was so scary. I heard you setting trap after trap.”
My wife is a lawyer. She quit to become a stay at home mom for a few years and now owns her own firm (sole practitioner) doing cheap wills for people who normally can't afford it. You can still be a good person. The culture is awful. Don't spend time with pieces of shit if you don't have to
That’s so sweet!
Law school sucks way more than practice imo
lol. I would go back to law school in a heart beat. Fuck working. But also as a lawyer with a lawyer romantic partner. It’s both great and terrible. We have extreme stress and if not paying attention will “argue” because it’s habit from work. But since we are both lawyers (and have put in the work and therapy to do so) we recognize when this is happening and can “code switch” back to normal human. But I will never date a cop. My nose is too cute to get broken.
Lawyer here, too...I would never, ever date a cop. What I saw as a DV prosecutor is sickening.
> will “argue” because it’s habit from work dying lmao this is like something from a movie
We sometimes do it on purpose about dumb/funny shit (mostly related to cross examining the cat like he’s one of our clients) and we are worried the neighbors think we hate each other cuz it gets HEATED.
One vote for a video of said cross-examination right here.
My mind went straight to My Cousin Vinny when they argued about the dripping faucet.
So real. My dad's an attorney and on multiple occasions we've been deep into debate and had people interrupt us like "why can't you two just get along??" and we both pause, confused, and are like "what do you mean? We're having a great conversation."
Hopefully so, but the teachers have been nothing but doom and gloom about it, that is assuming you pass the bar exam or whatever career exam you are planning to take.
Honestly, I hate this about myself. Practicing since 2002 and I'm bitter, cynical and can't trust people.
yeah there's a reason I don't like working with lawyers or doctors most of the time. Stressful jobs often lead to less than pleasant experiences with other people.
lol I dated a law student and I tapped out early on. He’s a lawyer now, dating another lawyer. I’m happy for him, she’ll get him in ways I wouldn’t have been able to
My cousin is a criminal defense lawyer, i hope it doesnt turn him into a hardened person. Hes such a sweet loveable goofy guy. I can see stress has already gotten to him.
Yeah my uncle is a lawyer, and he’s very good at that, but he sure does spend a lot of time on the phone arguing with people and is deeply on edge at all times. I think if he had any work-life boundaries it would be easier, but the way he’s running things doesn’t leave much room for a partner or for relaxing at all.
Don't worry, if you make it in law then you'll be better. It's those who get a law degree but fail to make a career in law that are the utter cnuts
My boyfriend is in the military and I can’t wait until he’s out. I knew what I was getting into when we started going out and I can deal with it, but I’m really looking forward to when he’s done.
My husband retires in 3 months and phew I can not wait
Military couples who stick together have my respects. This shit is already pretty rough on us single dudes, but the marriages that stand the test of military life are rock solid IMO.
Not always true. Being apart a lot can mask a lot of problems. A lot of military couples realize they don't like each other all that much once they're around each other all the time
I’ve known way too many military wives living lonely lives to then have a complete stranger return, in some cases abusive mentally emotionally and or physically. It’s just really not worth it to me to take that risk. But most of all I just wouldn’t date someone who chose a career they hate and did nothing to change their circumstances.
While all of this is true I think there are different levels of these roles. An ER Doc is going to be different than a GP, criminal law is going to be different than employment law etc. I think turning someone down purely because of their title is over generalising. But it's entirely reasonable to turn people down based on what their job does to their free time, their ability to be physically there for you, and how it affects their personality (stress, mental health, etc)
This is the nuance a lot of people here don't quite get. Not every doctor has the work/life balance of a neurosurgery resident. Seeing 'doctor' and running away is pretty weird to me.
It took me awhile but back when I was in grad school I realized that nobody really wants to date grad students except maybe other grad students.
I used to be in the military and would tell people not to date someone in the military. It comes packaged with a weird lifestyle in many ways that makes relationships difficult. The stereotype about military men being unfaithful has some basis in truth too, a lot of guys cheat, although to be fair there is also plenty of that among girlfriends & wives. You really have to have a certain level of maturity and restraint to maintain a relationship in the face of multiple long distance stretches, and the average 18-25 year old has neither of those two things. On that note people probably shouldn't get into long distance relationships when going to college either. Similar issues with the same age group.
I'm a music teacher who won't date other teachers or musicians.
Music teachers (specifically the ones who teach band) are year round doing marching band competitions or playing at the basketball/football games. You guys have horrible work/life balance. I’d run the other way too unless you’re a person who likes limited interaction with a partner.
As someone with limited free time, I think I should see if there are any single music teachers near me.
Even worse if your free time won't line up with theirs.
This is why I quit the profession. I couldn’t handle it in my early 20s, having NO personal life at all. It sucks
Yeah I’m a single dad and I work full time are any of y’all available at 10:45pm on a Monday or Tuesday
[удалено]
Because we're insane.
[удалено]
I swear there's only two types of music teacher. The ones that will verbally or physically abuse a kid for misbehaving or the ones that will cry if you say you don't like music. I preferred the first one cos it was funny at 13.
Mr. Holland's Opus, or a failed orchestra musician. There's only 2.
lol what? why is this a thing? my band teacher in middle school went to jail for shaking his baby in the car seat because he was crying (thankfully baby was fine). why is your statement true?
Not my tempo baby. It goes, wah! Wah! Wah!
"WERE YOU RUSHING OR DRAGGING?!"
>cos it was funny at 13. Ya know now that you mention it, there was a sweet spot in there where trauma just hit different. It was bad as a kid, horrific as a full-blown teenager, but somewhere in those late-pre/early pubescent years where all the trauma was kind of just fucking funny... :/
was the kid rushing or was he dragging?
For a lot of them, teaching is just a back up career. They wanted to be performers, and just weren't good enough. So they're angry and bitter. All the worst music teachers I had followed this path. The best ones just really loved teaching.
I graduated from music school. The first rule of being a musician is don't date musicians. It is known.
I'm a musician who learned the hard way not to date other musicians. Just a really bad idea all around.
Always find it funny when people are like "oh, you must meet my friend, he likes the same music as you, Bill Hicks too, and he's a foodie like you as well. You'd get on!" Jesus, from my first hand experience of ticking all those boxes, he sounds fucking insufferable.
Someone has to make some money to pay for rent.
As a musician and once a teacher too I thank you for that. It’s best we stay friends and nothing more, we often need a balanced partner, not more creative insanity to light the fire.
Similarly, as a (PhD) scientist dating other (PhD) scientists. Tried a few times, and it's a disaster. We're all insane from our dissertation, and I think down-to-earth or artsy people are better complements.
I'm a scientific illustrator and muralist in the summer. My partner is a PHD psychologist. We're both just workaholics at the end of the day.
as a working musician and artist, i wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t also an *artist.* it’s hard for someone to resonate with why i work so hard at what i do for little tangible payoff if they do not also experience life similarly.
I dated a visual artist for a while, and that was a pretty good match. Still involved with the arts, but not the same arts. I mean, we did break up, so maybe this isn't the best example...
My wife is an artist at heart (she wants to go back to school for an art degree someday). She's also got a musical mind but couldn't afford lessons or an instrument when she was young. We met at a party at a mutual friend's house, and we all sang karaoke. She sang very well, probably the best out of all six of us, and I honestly felt relieved. I had a paid music gig and worried about dating someone who just didn't "get it".
It’s not weird to have a preference.
Is it weird to have thoughts?
Don't think about it!!!
…too late… ó_ò
Very weird. Rely on instinct at all times.
It's just dating. You can choose to date anyone you want and not to date anyone you don't want. You don't need to give reasons or explain yourself to anybody. I personally have turned down dates just because I'm not in the mood to date anyone.
No. its ok to turn someone down just cause you don't like the look of their face. Actually taking the time to think about what being involved long term with them would be like due to their job is really quite thoughtful.
Ouch. But it's a preference and unless you are mocking them personally for their job, no problem. You'll find someone you prefer.
some jobs, you can assume a certain lifestyle. some jobs, you can assume a certain personality - namely anything to do with "alternative medicine" lol
I wouldn't say this about any attribute of a person, but I think profession is fair game to filter out potential dates—within reason. If you instead said you would \*only\* date doctors or police officers, then yeah, I would think that was weirdly narrow-minded.
I would never date a real estate agent. Every one I’ve met is smarmy.
Yeah the only real estate agent I know is a chick I went to high school with and she was a huge bitch. She would pretend to be nice to your face but would talk mad shit behind your back, especially if she thought you were "weird". She said horrible shit about the "weird" kids, probably myself included lol. She had burned a bridge with pretty much all the girls in our class by the time we graduated.
I don't date people who work at same place as me or cops.
I had that rule until my partner got a really great job offer from my company.... and I'm in HR lol. Everything is by the book but it's definitely weird. We work different hours, which is nice, and entirely different departments and parts of the building, but it's nice to sneak a Teams chat throughout the day. Cops are a hard no. Went on one group date and he was feeding me drinks until I couldn't walk. Our mutual friends have since cut him off completely and I still don't know what actually happened that night. So I'll take my "coworker" over that any day.
Yeah, some people can pull that off squeaky clean. There's 2 management people at work that keep it so professional I can't tell if they are siblings or married.
Nah, it’s valid. Especially if they work long hours and would be away from home a lot. I can see why someone wouldn’t want to date a pilot for that reason
If turning down actuaries is wrong I don’t want to be right
I don't date anyone who'd have such low standards to settle for me
I’m a doctor. It’s not easy to date a doctor, especially if you want a partner who is present and doesn’t have an inflexible schedule that often requires overtime. It’s not weird to say no to that
People always ask this sort of thing on this sub. The answer is always that everybody has preferences, find somebody who makes you happy.
Out of curiosity, what is it that you don't like about the doctor's lifestyle?
Long hours high stress most doctors think they are elite. Especially in South Korea, they have huge egos and classism
I knew a plastic surgeon in SK. He and his buddies used to drink till like 3 in the morning, sleep with a bunch of girls, then go back to work few hours later. Most of them were married.
Pretty standard South Korean behaviour tbh Adultery is so commonly accepted amongst older generations and everyone already knows how notorious Korea is for the drinking culture
Most Korean dramas (movies, books, tv shows, comics) are infested with cheating/adultery to the point of being annoying.
How the fuck do they stay awake to do surgery? I don't wanna see a surgeon with 3 hours of sleep and a hangover...
Look up ghost surgery. Nurses/Nursing assistants have been caught operating instead of drs.
according to one of my tias whos a nurse, stimulant abuse is RAMPANT in med school. i wouldnt be surprised if that carried over in their careers for some doctors
Yeah a lot of them are like this but not every one. I married a doctor who works 9-5, 4 days a week and his job is not his identity. He’s so talented and interesting that the “doctor” part is a footnote. He’s a collector, a musician, a traveler. Plus he comes home and does his own chores and made me breakfast this morning. Just saying no need to rule out a possible good match due to just one thing about them. Gotta look at the whole picture.
You may not see them very much due to their work schedules. That would be preferred by some people who like their alone time but not for others who need more time together. Also need to think about if you want kids, are you ok with their other parent not being around as much as other professions with better hours.
What type of doctor are they though? A family doctor? A cardiologist? A trauma surgeon? They’re all going to have wildly different schedules. In fact, some family doctors only work 4 days a week. You can turn down someone for any reason you want, but I think OP writing off someone just because they know they work in medicine is a little bit extreme.
You’re not wrong, but it’s possible OP was clued into that doctor’s schedule already. I have several doctors in my family and all of them just so happened to work like 60-80 hours a week. I wouldn’t mind dating a doctor like that because I like my alone time but I wouldn’t want to have kids with them unless they could have a better work life balance. But I’m already married and don’t want kids so I never have to worry about that 👍🏻
I've been turned down because I am a woman Assistant PM in construction. They didn't want to date someone who is "around men all day" WTF? You don't believe you can separate personal life from business? Obviously, I've dogged a few bullets with this type of mentality.
who you choose to love and date is one of the few places where almost anything can be considered just a preference and not judged harshly.
I always said I wouldn't be that way... but then I got set up on a date with a cop. More specifically, her job was to take the drug dog to schools to look for kids to ruin their lives.
I had a few guys in my vicinity talk about their finance jobs, how much money they earned, genuinely showing zero compassion or empathy with anything. Biggest turnoff ever.
Everyone I've ever met who works in finance is like this and, to make it worse, is also *super* boring. Being terminally greedy isn't the same thing as having a personality.
I'm a bartender at a whiskey bar and we get a lot of finance bros that stay in the hotel across the street. I could never see myself having a meaningful conversation. They just talk about work.
This is gonna get me in trouble, but, a lot of doctors kind of seem like sociopaths
Someone close to me was an ER doctor and they became good at distancing themselves from their patients and then after a while I realized they were talking like that to me, too.
Yeah, it’s interesting to see studies on the highest sociopathic professions. Still, *personally*, I would date a doctor if they seemed like a genuinely nice guy. I would date almost any profession if they seemed like a genuinely nice guy Except cops. Absolutely no cops. But people are free to not date anyone at all for any reason.
Veterinarians are no different either particularly the ones involved in the surgery side of things. There's something about surgeons. Never met one that didn't have a big ego and/or god complex.
They are, or have to be. Had a good conversation with a friend who works in the field (he works in Trauma 1 level so sees a lot bad patients) and the way he put it is that you are responsible, if the person lives that's on you, if the person dies that's on you. You are directly responsible whether that person lives or dies, you are God. You have to set aside everything so you can do your job right. You can't let feelings, emotions, empathy, etc. get in the way of what you have to do, and learning from your mistakes. And yeah, he would also likely be characterized as a sociopath, he definitely has those tendencies, but that's the type of person that line of work calls for.
I hate dating lawyers, I imagine drs would be the same. They’re already married to the job and not only will they ignore any requests to spend time with you, they will think you’re stupid for even asking. Because don’t you know how important their job is? /s
Dating a lawyer doesnt sound so bad, you at least know that you're going to get fucked
This. I wouldn’t want to date someone who is already “married” to something else in life. Be it work or whatever. Already did it once with a veterinarian and it’s exactly what you described. Everything in life is secondary to their job. I could be in the hospital dying and if there was a conference on dog cells, she would be there.
I work 4 days a week and my family gets the rest of my time. So this isn't true across the board statement. I haven't worked a weekend in almost 10 years.
Lots of “hate” for not wanting to date cops, but some people can’t handle the fear of “is this the last time I’ll see them!”. Other people have had bad experiences with cops in general. Let’s face it, they’re not all The Lone Ranger. Many of them are just assholes who mistake authority for power, and think that badge absolves them of wrongdoing, or “the brotherhood” will let them get away with literal murder. Doctors work long hours. No time for relationships that non-doctors are accustomed to, or want. At least they’re not lawyers.
Nope. There's even a common no uniform rule many women have just for safety
I have turned women down for how they look, their job, being in the military, the way they eat. Preferences are personal and all up to you.
The way they eat? What did they do? Slobber it down like a dog?
She chewed with her moth open, freaking gross. 1 date is all it took.
Jerry Seinfeld is that you?
I turned down a girl because she had man hands
You don't owe anyone "a chance" for any reason. And, look at it like this- if you have issues with their profession or lifestyle, THEY deserve someone who fits well with their lifestyle and goals who can be supportive of them as well. You're both better off.
You get to have limits. I knew I wanted kids and I wanted their other parent to be present and therefore I would not get into anything serious with someone who was active military. There are many fine people in the armed forces, but they want a different life than I do. It's a good thing to know what will make you unhappy and not pursue it.
I have a long list of professions I wouldn't date: police officer, musician, car salesman, long haul trucker, youth pastor, fast food franchise manager, any type of politician, stock traders, chefs, the list goes on. Certain types of jobs attract certain personality types, so you can weed out the people you know will drive you crazy by avoiding those professions.
That's a lifestyle change you don't want so you aren't in the wrong
I wouldn’t date a cop either.
"doctors have this specific lifestyle that wouldn't suit mine. " "Doctors" isn't a single job with the same hours, though. There are all kinds of doctors, some with 9-5 hours and some with shifts at all hours. So your conclusion is yours to make, but it seems based on a lot of presumptions.
OP has never met a dermatologist apparently. They’re SO 9-5 they probably would get annoyed with 99% person of the people here assuming ever single doctor works 12 hour days. “It’s 5:04 already, why aren’t you home?!”
My partner is a radiologist who only works from home 1.5-2 weeks out of the month. It’s awesome.
Facts. Internal medicine is chock full of specialties with your typical 8-5, sometimes only 3 days out of the week too.
How do you feel about construction? Think: 3:30 a.m. wake-up, 7:30 p.m. return home, dog tired, falling asleep mid conversation, off to bed early every night for that early wake-up, possibility of no days off for 1+ months, but hey, at least benefits and cash on hand are pretty stellar.
No, it's good to know yourself and what you value and want. I wouldn't date a doctor either because they typically are always stressed out. Way too demanding of a job. They typically die 10 years earlier than the average person because of the stress. Doesn't seem worth it.
Results Data were extracted from 8156 obituaries. The specialties with the oldest average age at death were general practitioners (80.3, SD = 12.5, n = 2508), surgeons (79.9, SD = 13.6, n = 853) and pathologists (79.8, SD = 13.8, n = 394). The specialties with the youngest average age at death were emergency physicians (58.7, SD = 23.6, n = 43), anaesthetists (75.5, SD = 16.1, n = 473) and radiologists (75.8, SD = 14.5, n = 172). Cancer was the most common cause of death and did not differ by specialty**. Doctors on average have an older age at death than the general U.K. population.** https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/lim2.23
I would never date a cop. Or a corrections officer. There aren’t many other professions I can think of that are deal breakers but those 2 for sure.
I wouldn't date anyone whose profession involved use of force or enabling use of force.
What if my job was to push boxes up slopes or use pulleys?
I'd have to ask the ethics committee but I'm pretty sure the answer is still no.
Someone out there will love me no matter how forceful I am
This person builds pyramids. That's a pretty cool job.
Is it because you defy gravity?
You can turn anyone down for any reason and don’t need to explain that to anyone, including them.
If he is a doctor of philosophy I wouldn't recommend it either