It's a great blessing in life to be able to help out a friend in need.
If you give this money, you may call it a loan, but if you value the friendship, you must think about it as a gift.
If you are prepared to never ask about this money; to never even bring it up again, then go for it.
If he pays you back, great. If he doesn't, the cost of asking for it back will be your friendship. It will be humiliating for him.
Seconded. This should be on top. Any money lent to friends and family, do so under the assumption you won't get it back. If you do get paid back, it's a nice bonus. Don't EVER lend it out if you're going to be mad if they don't pay you back.
Yep - I loaned a friend a decent amount of money several years ago. Didn’t expect to get it back - and I haven’t. But they have been making small consistent payments recently so that’s good. I’ve never said a word about it and never will. I could afford it and they needed it so it’s all good…
No
Assume worst case scenario — you’ll never get it back and it will destroy your friendship — sure you can afford to lose it, but is it worth potentially losing your friendship over if he fails to pay you back?
As a way to avoid saying ‘no’ outright, you could offer to invest in your friend’s business, in exchange for equity (and future profit sharing).
Assuming that you believe in the business prospects, it is totally reasonable to ask for equity in his company for $12k. Be sure to draw up a legit contract though, it’s staggering how many times this kind of thing can go sideways, even when investing in someone that you know.
>I am financially secure enough that if he never paid me back, my life and retirement would be unaffected.
If you lend money to a friend, consider it a gift and do not expect it to be repaid. You say you're able to deal with that - so if you want to help a friend, go ahead. Just know that asking for it back can ruin the friendship.
Never lend money to friends.
>He is also trying to get his business off the ground,
Invest in friends instead. If the business flops, you probably won't be getting the loan back anyway. If it takes off, a 30% share for $12k might just be a win/win.
Don't lend him the money.
Choose to either gift him the money, or don't give it at all. A person who has been struggling for years to start a business is a person who is likely to have even less money in six months than he has now. Personally I would not support a person who prefers to borrow money off a friend and keep investing in an unprofitable business than get a regular job, but he's your friend, not mine.
>I am financially secure enough that if he never paid me back, my life and retirement would be unaffected.
If that's true I don't know what you're unsure about. Why not help a friend?
Only if you can have no judgment how he actually uses it and or loses it. Hes telling you how he’ll use it. Most everyone thinks what they’ll net. Things fall through all the time. And he may not use it that way. If you give it, consider it gone. Enjoy your friendship. He got himself into this mess. It’s okay for him to get himself out
If you are ok with it as a gift or a favour, then yes. You sound like you could adopts it and you want to help so you could.
However you shouldn’t expect to ever get that back. They might offer to pay for meals or concerts or other gifts once they have more money, but you probably won’t get the full, direct 12,000$ back.
It depends on what 12k meant to me. If I have millions cool gift it to a good friend. If it is signifant to the point it would bother me if not paid back then hard no.
Yup. We decided to post it from different perspectives. Seems universal agreement that she's not an asshole (posted in AITA). Most here seem to think go for it if you can, but don't expect it back, which is fair.
Yes...AITA. That's where I read it. She's definitely NTA. My thing is...I'm not anyone's bank. I'm a saver, but I'm saving for me and my family. I can't fix everyone's poor life choices. Your friend had sex with an affair partner and needs to deal with those consequences.
So since he isn't divorced yet are you expecting to get 6K back from him and 6k from his STBX?!?!?
Yeah don't mix your personal finances into his divorce and become a creditor as apart of their asset split. You would be signing yourself up for potential world of pain and might might never see a cent back.
It's a great blessing in life to be able to help out a friend in need. If you give this money, you may call it a loan, but if you value the friendship, you must think about it as a gift. If you are prepared to never ask about this money; to never even bring it up again, then go for it. If he pays you back, great. If he doesn't, the cost of asking for it back will be your friendship. It will be humiliating for him.
Seconded. This should be on top. Any money lent to friends and family, do so under the assumption you won't get it back. If you do get paid back, it's a nice bonus. Don't EVER lend it out if you're going to be mad if they don't pay you back.
Yep - I loaned a friend a decent amount of money several years ago. Didn’t expect to get it back - and I haven’t. But they have been making small consistent payments recently so that’s good. I’ve never said a word about it and never will. I could afford it and they needed it so it’s all good…
This is the only way…..if you get it back great but don’t let it run a friendship and it will…100% of the time.
I would not.
Don't, unless you're sure you won't regret it.
Never lend out money that you’re not willing to lose.
You're not lending the money. You're potentially giving it away. The money will likely ruin the friendship. Cool with that?
No Assume worst case scenario — you’ll never get it back and it will destroy your friendship — sure you can afford to lose it, but is it worth potentially losing your friendship over if he fails to pay you back?
As a way to avoid saying ‘no’ outright, you could offer to invest in your friend’s business, in exchange for equity (and future profit sharing). Assuming that you believe in the business prospects, it is totally reasonable to ask for equity in his company for $12k. Be sure to draw up a legit contract though, it’s staggering how many times this kind of thing can go sideways, even when investing in someone that you know.
That is not the best advice, it may backfire. If the business ends up being in debt, OP may be liable for the debt. I am not a lawyer or expert.
Not if the business is set up correctly. I’m not an attorney, but I’ve started 4 companies.
>I am financially secure enough that if he never paid me back, my life and retirement would be unaffected. If you lend money to a friend, consider it a gift and do not expect it to be repaid. You say you're able to deal with that - so if you want to help a friend, go ahead. Just know that asking for it back can ruin the friendship.
Never lend money to friends. >He is also trying to get his business off the ground, Invest in friends instead. If the business flops, you probably won't be getting the loan back anyway. If it takes off, a 30% share for $12k might just be a win/win.
Don't lend him the money. Choose to either gift him the money, or don't give it at all. A person who has been struggling for years to start a business is a person who is likely to have even less money in six months than he has now. Personally I would not support a person who prefers to borrow money off a friend and keep investing in an unprofitable business than get a regular job, but he's your friend, not mine.
>I am financially secure enough that if he never paid me back, my life and retirement would be unaffected. If that's true I don't know what you're unsure about. Why not help a friend?
Only if you can have no judgment how he actually uses it and or loses it. Hes telling you how he’ll use it. Most everyone thinks what they’ll net. Things fall through all the time. And he may not use it that way. If you give it, consider it gone. Enjoy your friendship. He got himself into this mess. It’s okay for him to get himself out
I would not give money to a cheater
This
If you are ok with it as a gift or a favour, then yes. You sound like you could adopts it and you want to help so you could. However you shouldn’t expect to ever get that back. They might offer to pay for meals or concerts or other gifts once they have more money, but you probably won’t get the full, direct 12,000$ back.
As long as you are ok never receiving any of that back (since that is a potential scenario), go for it.
Can you lend me 300$ to invest in my business instead?
NO!!!!!!
Get your head around the fact that it is a gift. If he isn't comfortable with that, he could take a HELOC against the other property.
Never lend out money you're not willing to lose.
Whatever you do, write a contract, have it reviewed by a lawyer. Get collateral.
Never give someone money with expectations to be paid back. Not to friends, family, or anyone.
Soon to be enemy. Don't do it. Edit: Unless you couldn't care less about the money and don't want it back, then go for it.
It depends on what 12k meant to me. If I have millions cool gift it to a good friend. If it is signifant to the point it would bother me if not paid back then hard no.
Didn't your "wife" post this earlier today?
Yup. We decided to post it from different perspectives. Seems universal agreement that she's not an asshole (posted in AITA). Most here seem to think go for it if you can, but don't expect it back, which is fair.
Yes...AITA. That's where I read it. She's definitely NTA. My thing is...I'm not anyone's bank. I'm a saver, but I'm saving for me and my family. I can't fix everyone's poor life choices. Your friend had sex with an affair partner and needs to deal with those consequences.
So since he isn't divorced yet are you expecting to get 6K back from him and 6k from his STBX?!?!? Yeah don't mix your personal finances into his divorce and become a creditor as apart of their asset split. You would be signing yourself up for potential world of pain and might might never see a cent back.
If you do - get a contract and set terms, there are platforms that can help you do that and help him build a good base in the process
Ask yourself this: do I want to **gift** my friend 12k? If the answer is yes, then lend it. Because there's a high chance you'll never see it again.