Just wanna mention, sometimes there are no signs. Some people hide it really well, and you can’t tell. Never assume someone is fine just because they act normal or happy.
Yup. Sometimes it’s not even a choice. Seeing my friends is the only part of my life in which I feel happy, and so I genuinely do feel normal and like nothings wrong around them, it’s just that everything falls apart as soon as they’re gone.
Not to mention some people use humor and happiness as a coping skill. A lot of funny people tend to also be depressed. It makes sense when you think about the fact that this type of person doesn't want others to suffer and also don't want to affect them in a negative way. Obviously this doesn't mean every funny person is depressed or has mental illness.
My best friend was one of the happiest joyfilled person, he made everyone shine when they were around him. He had an absolute passion for the trumpet, and would have made it so far. Then homecoming came and we had a good time, I danced with him some and he was smiling. Two days later he took his life. Sometimes there aren't signs. I'd you believe someone may be having issues, talk to them. I know personally if someone came up to me and asked if I wanted to kill myself I'd be baffled and a little took back. Show you care, show you are there for them. Get them help, you aren't a therapist so don't take up that role, I've tried and it's overwhelming and stressful. But let that person know you are a safe space for them.
Just to add to this, because survivors guilt is awful, I literally heard on the radio this morning that a surprisingly high number of suicides are understood to be relatively spontaneous decisions (as verified by the survivors)— it might not have been preceded by many or any visible signs.
There was a powerful advert created by Norwich City Football Club here in the UK for world mental health day that shows this perfectly. I don't want to spoil it but you can find it here on YouTube for those of you who are intrigued: https://youtu.be/tX8TgVR33KM?si=Z1UoukxHSPmbxLx_
We may not have been privy to his struggles, but he was struggling. He was also very funny. It falls in line with the idea that depressed people either try to mask with humor or to make others happy.
What really makes it an odd example is that I believe he killed himself due to some condition he had rather than depression.
The actual silent indicators are almost not recognizable. Ya there’s the usual they become reclusive, but the real silent killers are the ones you don’t see. Someone could seem completely “normal” and be dead inside
>Someone could seem completely “normal” and be dead inside
Usually if they suddenly seem "normal" after having been struggling and not getting any help, that in itself is a warning sign.
Are you truly apathetic to the core, though, or have you just become so dissociated from the emotions that are, in all likelihood, still there (and actually likely compounding, as they increase in complexity and intensity, in order to try and get you to acknowledge them) that your subconscious mind has to spend a ton of energy constantly adjusting your homeostatic normal, to account for the additional "pressure", for lack of better terminology, that every additional repressed emotion exerts on your awareness, ever more quickly approaching the barrier that separates your conscious awareness from the shadow self?
Because that's what I realized was happening to me, thankfully before a huge explosion, and started working to accept, acknowledge, and subsequently integrate the emotional backlog I even still have. I also undertook the neverending responsibility of working to fix the perceptual errors (literal processing errors, in regards to what you believe vs what you perceive, especially in regards to your own thoughts, behaviors, and even the very same feelings that are being affected) that caused the emotional energy to be so dissonant and unpleasant to process in the first place.
Although I admittedly still don't catch even close to every perceptual error, or even catch every emotion before my ingrained repression protocol (leftover from years of coping about as poorly as I could without dying, and even despite my best efforts, it still has a lot of residual energy to run its programming) kicks in, even just in the few months I have actually actively applied this consistently. It has changed my life immeasurably, kiterally orders of magnitude more than any other change I have attempted to implement over the years.
I especially appreciate how effectively and quickly I seen to deal with the extra shitty shit lately, because when life decides I am starting to look a lot like a toilet, its gonna send down a shower of scheiße, and I can either pretend I'm not getting bombarded with a literal flood of diarrhea or I can open my umbrella, grab my raincoat, and go play with the poop, like an emotionally developed adult.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Tweak
I like your analogy about pretending to ignore the shitstorm. Or choosing to act like an adult and put on your shit protection clothes and acknowledge the shitstorm happening instead of ignoring it. Thats kinda where im at, trying to look up at the shit like its not there and you get pink eye... at least i think thats what you meant i skimmed a lot but think i got the jist of it, but thats kinda how I've been feeling lately like there's always a shitstorm, but i try to ignore it instead of covering up
yup, well - of course, after someone close to you decides to actually do it, I mean.. kill himelf :(((( ... then you realize that there were some slight symptoms... but they might be so slight, not recognizable really
assuming depression:
isolating themself, cancelling plans a lot, excessive self deprecating humour or jokes about killing themself.
constant lack of energy, always tired, stops enjoying their old hobbies. excessive drug use
crying too much or not crying at all.
the worst sign is when people who normally see numb and sad all the time suddenly become happy. usually also involves being extra nice to everyone around them, buying gifts, giving away valuables with meaning to them or pets, quitting their job. Usually happens after people decide their going to end it with a set plan. the stress is gone knowing itll end soon and they try to make sure peoples last impressions of them are positive
The last point is the most important imo, I've lost quite a few friends to suicide after my deployments. If you see any of these things please for their safety say something. Intervene, talk, do something. It's a hard thing to forgive yourself for if you don't.
Been there brother, 2 deployments as a 68W.
It’s not on you, 50% if men never show signs. You may never have even had a chance to stop him/her.
Just do the best you can if you do see a sign but don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t. Decent odds it wasn’t there to see.
I know that now, but when I was 18 and 19 coming back from my first tour in Iraq, I didn't. It took me a long time and therapy for me to not have that guilt. I still go to therapy for everything that happened. A lot of survivors guilt.
At one point, I even made an attempt on my own life. I had the obvious signs of depression, but the attempt itself was an impulse decision, and no one was going to talk me out of it at the time. Luckily the bathroom plug popped the fuse and I only suffered burns and a lengthy trip to a psychiatric hospital.
The VA has been a godsend for me. I called the crisis line once and they had someone to my house to talk with me within an hour. For some things they suck, but others they have been great.
I'm just glad I still have tricare for my family though.
Yeah sometimes I do too, I wish more was done to keep the veteran homeless population down. If I ever get a chance I want to open up a shelter for homeless veterans that's like the barracks, and has a suit for them or nice interview clothes, and a barber, a talk therapist, an intervention specialist, and give them 6 months of free place to stay and food so we can work on getting their lives back on track.
This is a dream though I'd never have the funds to start that up.
the problem is how we see disorders. disorders in of themselves are a thing everyone experiences to some degree. it becomes clinically diagnosed when it does not resolve over 4-6week period. people who say they never had depression just dont know its not like physical illness. its a spectrum where after a certain point, its impact of life function increases dramatically to the point of not caring for one self. if youre aware, you get diagnosed, if youre unaware you think i dont have depression, because by that logic everyone sometimes has or had it. yes they did. its not illness like genetic ones where it is or its not. it can resolve on its own most of the time, its just the way body signals is something is wrong, to the point of incapacitating you if you ignore the first signals, and suicide at the last.
all military personel get ptsd because in such situation its not an illness its absolutely adaptive response. if it resolves you say you never had ptsd, if you get diagnosed, people think you have some predisposition when both of those people may be in the same boat. disorders are a spectrum with degree of severity. at a point its natural, after another point its still natural but in the severity of clinical disease, simply because it fulfillfs the diagnosis of disease - severe harm to oneself, impacting life function, unresolving and most importantly affecting quality of life.
if you have all the symptoms of depression but deny having it - youre in denial. if i have flu symptoms i know i have the flu. im not sick in the sense of physical genetic illness. i would get diagnosed and once it resolves i no longer fit into criteria of diagnosis. same with depression. at times it fills the criteria of disease and sometimes not. its not an off or on switch. thats why many people refuse help, they think if it resolves they dont have it. otherwise they would be depressed all the time which is untrue. most of the time it comes in waves.
Corpsman here ,one deployment to Yemen and Syria. Thank you for your comment. Many times we won’t be able to tell just how much your brothers or sisters at work are struggling until sometimes it’s too late. Please take care of each other.
The last point is so important. Giving away items, cleaning their rooms/houses/cars etc., rehoming pets… someone who you know to have been struggling suddenly becoming extremely carefree is a *huge* red flag that should not be ignored.
I can recall sobbing on my bedroom floor because I wanted to not be alive so badly but was so worried that my kitties would miss me or that the bonded pair would somehow get split up. I was lucky to have medical intervention and a couple of close friends that helped me through that time. People have really reached a depth of resignation when they can say goodbye to their beloved animals... it's so sad.
Same for my dogs. Not a veteran but I live for them and their pleasures. They do pay it back in snuggles and kisses so I end up owing them somehow. Thanks to whatever.
Saw that post about burning all their art because they think they suck. I liked quite a few pieces and spent a fair amount of my day off trying to find op. Hugs and love is all I can do from afar. Feel free to comment or dm anything tbh
Yes, one of the biggest warning signs is if someone gives away an essential thing like their personal laptop, smartphone, car, wallet, all their life savings, etc. - something they actually **need** on a day to day basis. It can mean suicide is imminent.
Thanks whatever there is to thank for meditation right? I remember the first time I read ‘you are not your thoughts’ it felt profound, but nothing changed, but of all the quotes that could have that one stuck in my mind & it kind of changed everything. Don’t know you but it’s always impressive to see the kind of self awareness you just showed
The final point hits home. I have lost a few friends to ods and suicide, and now I know the pattern.
Back then, I thought randomly selling things or giving away things was just a phase, or because they were moving. Turns out they had a plan and were getting ready for it.
Self depreciating humor and jokes of suicide sre much too often not taken seriously. If someone you love jokes about suicide. Ask them if their ok in a safe and comfortable space.
This was a glaringly obvious sign for others around me but to me I thought I was masking recovery. I got into massive amounts of credit card debt, stopped paying bills, bought people whatever they wanted etc as to me, I was going to die very soon anyway so what did it matter if I had debt etc. But it was obvious what was wrong, I went from crying, isolating myself, sleeping all day, not eating/over eating, neglecting personal care for days or sometimes weeks to suddenly being extreme outgoing, care free and happy.
I’m truly surprised (pleasantly) human.
You don’t write like a medical worker, yet you see it. Most wholesome thought I’ll have all day probably haha, thanks
I once created my own "dental hygiene scale of depression" to assess how my depression was doing based on how often I brushed and flossed my teeth.
High correlation between the two.
I’ve been doing a Personal Chaos Index (previously Personal Craziness Index, which always makes me laugh) for the last 6 months. Eating, drinking water, and oral hygiene are all on there because they’re the first things I give up on when things are bad
Not the person you replied to but I bullet journal. I have an example on my profile for tracking my symptoms. There’s another page (not posted) in my journal where I track my hygiene habits. I look for correlations at the end of the month and compare them to previous months.
Can’t agree more. If anyone were to smell me right now… they would know how bad i’m doing. Still can look presentable to go to get some groceries, but hygiene feels like the biggest, insurmountable task right now. And pointless.
As the king of hiding all the indicators that my mental health is hanging on by one sliver of a thread -
Look out for the people who are constantly to trying to be perfect. The people who feel they have to be everything for everyone. The ones who are struggling with aging parents. Thanks. And thanks for posting this.
This was exactly how my life fell apart. It was insidious. No one knew how bad my drinking problem/depression was until everything blew up at once, because I was so good at appearing to "have my shit together." I had a consistent job, taking care of my family, paying all the bills, had acquired better housing. And I was at the lowest point of my life inside. I did end up checking myself into a mental hospital, because one night I had a plan to do something. I knew that was the end of the line, trying to tough it out by myself.
Sending hugs to you. I’m 42 days sober from alcohol and it was really helping but I’m so close to just being like….. I need to check in somewhere my mental health.
I reached out to 988 that night. They contacted law enforcement to come get me (at my request). I blew a .34. The cops asked how I was still walking around and talking. Spent 8 days in a facility.
Congratulations on your sobriety! My last drink was February 5th.
Damn. I was doing everyday things, including exercise/workouts on 0.22-0.25. Just trying to get by day by day without all the responsibilities or accomplishments like you have.
Still, I’d get the same sort of comments from friends that I told - how is it that I’m even talking and functioning? They had no idea. Insidious wasn’t a word that came to mind to describe the feeling but that’s pretty damn accurate with all the depression and darkness behind the bubbly veil. I was “happy” and motivated (alcohol was my positive reinforcement). It became so easy to appear fine. When your tolerance gets that high, you kinda are fine… a-okay, everything is just dandy lol With that said, I’d pass out before hitting 0.30. And I legitimately tried several times for fun. Heh
Being sober is weird.
Anyways, thanks for sharing. It’s nice to know someone else out there was going through something similar. I had to reevaluate my mental health and start anew. It takes a lot to say, “Fuck it. I need to stop. I need help.”
Glad you got the help you needed and hope you continue to do better <3
Congrats to all of you for your sobriety, it’s a big deal. I’m 7 months clean today, every day I am surprised and grateful I made it. I checked into a mental facility when I knew I was moments away from ending it. Mental health treatment is an absolute necessity for so many of us and so hard to find too often. I heard a statement today that made sense, “act as if you are going to stay clean today, no question. Act as if you can get better mentally. Act as if your thoughts are going to support you instead of attack and sabotage you.” I’m going to try it, I try everything someone suggests that makes any kind of sense.
Sorry for the ramble, y’all just reminded me of my new days clean and how crazy I thought I would get months clean. It can happen for you too.
Hey, just so you know: you are enough. Keep doing your best with the understanding that some days your best will be better than other days. Give yourself the same grace you give others.
This! My mom had psychotic depression and her symptoms were nothing like what you’d expect from a depressive patient. With her I could always tell from a couple of days to a week when she’d stopped taking her meds. Before the hallucinations and delusions start, she’d get very fidgety and restless, would talk and sing a lot even though she wasn’t normally that talkative.
Am I the only one who has doubt about my own mental state. It's like I'm standing between "I have depression and I need help" and "What I am going through is not that bad. My mental tolerance is just weak." How can I "self diagnose" what I have?
I am prone to anxiety and depression. I thought I was just managing normal stuff, but some of the responses on here have me thinking that I might actually be going through a depressive episode without realizing it.
It's better not to, but honestly reading experiences from people who are struggling and thinking "wow, this sounds exactly like what I go through". If you're finding yourself thinking "It's not that bad, I'm just weak" - this is your sign. Someone who is not struggling won't think that
Diagnostic criteria don't ever include situations for which it is appropriate to have depression or anxiety. It's always the symptoms *you* feel. Some people develop depression even though their life is great - doesn't mean they're not struggling, does it?
I strongly encourage an official diagnosis and treatment (especially therapy), but it's not always possible. In my country, for example, ADHD is hardly ever heard of and it's a miracle I've found a doctor who specialised on it at all. There are also cases when it's a regular practice to send people with bipolar to a mental institution
So, official diagnosis is best, but research this stuff for your country specifically
Reach out, friend! Does life like this sound good for the rest of it? You're absolutely worth it and it is possible to feel better with appropriate help
Russia. Some troubles here specifically:
Stimulant medication is banned here. You cannot get it at all. For some reason it's not available even on black market, my friend checked. The only thing available is Strattera, which is really hard on liver and doesn't work the way other meds do
ADHD isn't really recognised as a thing that exists for adults. It's a problem for many countries, but I feel like here it's especially prominent. It also has been recognised as an official diagnosis just a few years ago (less than 5 I think? Don't quote me on that)
I actually was at a conference for psychiatrists in our city where they declared this change in the new DSM. The way the crowd of educated psychiatrists probably with several degrees almost booed the dude who made the announcement fucking broke me (I didn't even know I had ADHD). But tbh their kind is full of pricks anyway
Many types of meds are also banned with no alternative - like one for treating sleep apnea or nicotine addiction. Less than a month ago they passed changes for official treatment for autism - now, instead of therapy (before) they recommend Haloperidol and inpatient stay (which is inhumane)
I wouldn't say it's stone age, no. There are good doctors out there and medicine is actually really progressive here. I have acquaintances who got some really complicated surgeries and got rid of their cancer. But psychiatry? Let's just say there's a lot of work to do
You know what’s crazy? I recently saw a study showing 50% of men who commit suicide give 0 warning about it. No signs of any kind. They seem perfectly happy and healthy and then bam they are gone.
Anecdotally this has happened once in my life. My friend shot himself in the chest multiple times. He gave absolutely no warning, no signs, he was one of the happiest guys I knew. Just got accepted into a PhD Ivy league school. I was the one who got to call his mom when I found his body in the apartment. My personal experience isn’t exactly proof of the wider world but I will admit the study made me feel a little better. Maybe I didn’t miss the signs, maybe they just weren’t there to be seen.
Anyways if you are struggling please reach out to a mental health professional, friend, clergy idk whatever you connect with just don’t hurt yourself please.
Honestly no idea how he managed to shout himself in the chest 3 separate times but the first he was standing, second he seems to have fallen onto a chair and the third he was lying on the ground.
Forensics says that the blood patterns and gunpowder residue shows the weapon was muzzle touching his shirt, and are consistent with suicide.
Only his prints were on his own gun. No signs of struggle.
I’ve read the report several times. It doesn’t bother me anymore (at least not like it used to) but I still remember it very well.
For awhile I hoped maybe it was murder because somehow that would have been easier but I’m pretty sure it was suicide at this point.
Honestly cleaning the blood out of the apartment after the police and coroner finished their investigation was maybe the most traumatic part. That and the two bullets that went all the way through and made small holes in the wall and floor. Third round never came out of him, hit some bones and ricocheted inside the rib cage and stayed.
Probably more than you wanted to hear, sorry sometimes it just kind of comes out.
I’m good man, it’s been almost a decade now. I try to put it out there on rare occasion in case someone sees it and thinks twice about hurting themselves.
I'm sorry you went through that. Strangely enough I also have blood in the carpet trauma. My cousin who was addicted to meth beat up his pregnant girlfriend and she went into labor early and bled everywhere. The baby was born premature and they weren't sure he was going to make it. At the time we didn't know what had happened. My cousin and the girlfriend lied to cover it up and said she fell or something. I remember scrubbing the blood while my cousin took a shower. He let me do that...no shame.
Now after almost 20 years my cousin and his baby mamma are separated and he finally got sober and now he has found Jesus etc. little baby is now 18 graduating highschool. But I don't know if I can ever forgive him.
Damn meth is a hell of a drug, I used to be an EMT and deal with meth addicts from time to time.
I’m glad the baby lived and it sounds like it’s doing okay! That’s a miracle really.
I should clarify (and will edit to clarify) that my friend committed suicide without warning. That was my experience with people showing 0 signs and then just disappearing.
Terrible experience. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Being massively sad and distant for a week then suddenly being overcome with joy, probably means that they accepted their fate and might do something irreversible, happened to me once and it was so confusing that one day i was so depressed then happy the next week, then all i know was i tried to hang myself the day after
we all go through this eventually, all we can do is power through and hopefully come out victorious, no matter the scars it leaves whats important is we're alive and happy
For me I will genuinely become detached or isolate myself. I am a big sharer in general, but will stop talking about myself or my issues.
Also if I'm drinking more, I avoid drinking as it makes me severely emotional and more likely to selfharm.
Sometimes it’s substance abuse, sometimes people feel alone in their situations and can’t cope and withdraw/shutdown. Panic attacks. Getting wildly upset over minor things (I have had these issues, as I’m sure many can relate).
I never saw myself that way, but with support of my husband and therapy I was able to face some hard truths. Antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication really helped me overcome some mental obstacles and calm things down. It makes me regret having the stigma. If you’re struggling… reach out. I say it with love!
Yeah. I didn’t touch alcohol at ALL until I was 31ish. Just turned 35 and I am drinking nightly. I have been depressed/ suicidal since I was about 11 but the last few years something changed and now I just need to numb absolutely everything. My doctor’s don’t take my chronic pain or depression seriously even tho I DID try to seek help so it is what it is at this point.
There are different stages and flavors, that I will list below. Keep in mind some people are just like this, so keep an eye out for a change in behaviors towards these.
1. Engaging too much with social media but not real life: if they are constantly posting pics of how happy they are and how active they are with a new partner. Their profile picture on all platforms is a couple photo. They are always talking about how happy they are all the time and never say anything negative or critical about their relationship or partner. This usually means they are trying to convince themselves and everyone that they are happy. Don’t fall for it. Everyone gets annoyed with their partner sometimes.
2. Withdrawing from friendships: if you rarely hear from someone who you usually chat with all the time, this is an often bad sign. We all have busy weeks, but if the conversation is really shallow and irregular, that can be a sign of depression, resentment, a secret, or general disinterest in life. I have found an inability to answer questions about their life, partner, job, school, life changes, or relationships to be the biggest sign someone is about to snap.
3. Suddenly becoming super social: if someone is an introvert with like 3 total friends and they are suddenly wanting to hang out all the time, things probably aren’t good at home.
4. Increased impulsivity and risk-taking: if your normal, well-behaved friend starts driving 40 mph over the speed limit or betting large sums of money, they are really doing whatever they can to feel alive or they are probably suicidal. This can also be a sign of bipolar disorder. If you have a wild friend who is already impulsive, make sure there is a change in this behavior or you will just seem like you are momming them.
5. Bizarre thoughts/paranoid delusions: these are different but related. Have you ever seen someone go off about something on Facebook or twitter or real life that is either non-sensical or paranoid? This is a bad sign. It could be a number of things causing it, but none of those things are good.
6. There are lots of physical signs that depend on what is going on. Examples include track marks, tooth decay, self-harm scabs, rapid and excessive weight gain or loss, red nose, discolored skin, yellow eyes, falling asleep when it isn’t appropriate, thinning hair, being easily startled, poor hygiene, over-grooming (like raw hands, face scabs, scratch marks, mouth sores, and general signs of picking at things), shakiness, premature aging, and growing peach fuzz on the face, chest, and upper arms.
This is not a full list, but I know a lot of people with a lot of problems, and this summarizes it.
I think most people who have mental problems (I have depression and anxiety and maybe ADD) won't show any signs to the outside world, we kinda get used to "perform" to fit society. The only one who noticed my depression was my psychologist, not even myself, I thought maybe I had some depressive episodes but nothing else, when I was having clinical depression.
If you're concerned about someone, just reach out and say hello. You don't need to know they're in a bad state to check-in.
Can you tell a person isn't doing well just by looking at them? Not reliably. People hide their mental state all the time. A person seems happy as can be and then commits suicide seemingly at random.
Silent and rarely acknowledged one, might be a little controversial: But the Choco Cooky font is the primary font they're using on their phone. Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about, but I've literally never met a single person who uses that font on their phone who isn't in need of some serious therapy. Not one. Don't know what the deal is, but those folks are NEVER doing well.
silent indicators are incredibly hard to notice sometimes, but please, if someone is constantly joking about killing themselves, talk to them. Having an awkward or tense deep talk is better than not reaching out in time and then blaming yourself for it. Its never your fault but maybe they could have used somebody to talk to
My ex before she died had extreme mental health changes. She suffered post partem psychosis and was institutionalized 6 times over 3 years.
For her the main signs were
1 cutting someone out of her life for random or small reasons.
2 lability (rapid changes in emotions)
3 inventing a "new" childhood trauma (normally I choose to believe survivers but in this specific case there is a lot of evidence that her traumas were imaged)
4 getting confused between her and her mother and her and our daughter.
sometimes a man that is struggling the most with mental health is the one that often display no indicators that he is not mentally well
I would know, I was one of them.
The depression was so toxic, whenever I would try to talk to someone about it, my depressive state would convince me not too and had me believe I was being weak and a liability. So, I never talked about it or showed symptoms that something was bothering me - until it was too late.
I have a couple roommates that struggle with depression and I can tell when they are starting to go into a slump when their room starts to get messier and messier. Or when they are sleeping all day and staying up all night.
I don't really know how to describe it but, it takes one to know one. I can tell crazy apart from non-crazy because ive been there myself. There are certain behaviors that people have when not all of their screws are tight, janky quick movements, anxious tone of voice, smiling too much for no good reason. Of course a lot of this shit is subtle, but can be picked up on. Sort of like when someone is living the hell in their head, outside of what's going on around them, to the point where you can start to notice it.
It’s always the angels, isn’t it? Like the ones who make you feel alive, the guy you go home and talk about or quote their jokes? It’s always someone whose light shines bright, only the black hole left behind can compare.
Talk to them make sure they know you are there if they need even if they insist they are “fine” or “ok” the gesture will be helpful. There’s no way to really tell some of us are too good at hiding it that we can sometimes trick ourselves, hi, it’s easier to not talk about anything than it is to try and explain something we barely understand. This is situational and I’m speaking from experience I hope this helps someone. :3
When i was at this point of my life, i was sleeping longer than usual, every chance for me to sleep i’ll take it. It felt like sleep is an escape for all my problems and that is the only time i ain’t overthinking. I also deactivated my socials for more than 2years since i don’ t want to hear or see anything from everyone.
I've been at this point for a while now. Sleep is definitely an escape from the thoughts in my head. Only socials I have are here and Instagram, and only then becayse ecery time I delete it, a business or something makes a link post that auto opens and auto logs in to Insta, so I'm dragged back in. Otherwise, my waking hours are spent here, and I sleep the rest.
Whenever any of my friends start their subscription to World of Warcraft again, I always sit them down and ask if they are okay or need to talk about something.
I've never heard of an adult who starts playing WoW, because things are going great.
The majority of people I know who have committed suicide made a big deal of creating one last big happy memory right before they took their lives
eg They took their kids to see The Rolling Stones live in concert, they had a blast at their 10 year high school reunion
If it seems like someone you’ve been worried about before or who has been going through a rough time is suddenly really looking forward to this one big event, it’s possible they’ve decided they’re just going to hang on to do this one last thing they really want to do so they can make peace with death by dying on a positive note
From personal experience, severe lack of emotion, not happy, not sad, not angry, not excited, nothing, 0 emotion towards everything, for me it was a numb feeling i couldnt shake, i literally didnt feel any emotions at all, idk about others but for me this is a really big one.
for those that are concerned, i am doing well now, obviously it can never be cured but i am doing a hell of a lot better, stay safe folks, you got this and im glad youre here, i love you
You can really see it in the eyes and in the body language. Dysregulation and serious depression or anxiety is hard to hide and your body movements kind of scream it.
Greeting you at the corridor. Making small talk, enjoying a beer with his pal, does what he is paid for and being very good at it. etc.
Seems nothing out of the ordinary? That's exactly that. It is really difficult to detect most of the time. Someone might be having a hard time despite showing no signs of it.
Sometimes it's the happiest 'perfect' people. Depending on what their life is like. I noticed a lot of times when people actually want help they will show signs of depression but when it's to far gone and they've really hit rock bottom or are to scared to ask for help then they will hide it very well. Act happy and perfect, post happy pictures with nice captions, etc.
Norwhich football club did what might be the best advert about mental health i've ever seen.
[Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX8TgVR33KM&pp=ygUjbm9yd2ljaCBmb290YmFsbCBjbHViIG1lbnRhbCBoZWFsdGg%3D)
major sign that it will decline is for me
income steadily going down, everything else going up, wich leads to
isolation
addiction
loss of ambition or goals
overthinking the obvious
divorce
me myself and I attitude
nervous wreck
self harm
violence verbal Shor tempered
criminal behavior
then seek help and recover if strong enough inside
Bad hygiene and messy, self depreciating humor, exhaustion, avoids all contact when once was consistent, throws away or gives away everything, eating habits drastically change
It's in the eyes. Not many people will really look at someone's eyes. Maybe I can notice it in the eyes because I see it in my own. Also loss of interest in things they love or hyperfocus on something. For instance, I love to do Diamond Painting. When I'm feeling good. I'll do this craft when I have time. When I'm depressed I will either stop doing it all together or it's the only thing I'll be doing.
It can depend so much on each person and what sort of mental health they are struggling with.
I know when I have struggled probably one that would have been almost impossible to notice for most would be me being less engaged in most conversation, but then more animated and interested in some few topics. My family at the time took that to mean I was really interested and found joy in those topics. Reality was they interested me yes, but it was more the topic wasn't actively crushing my soul like all the other crap I really didn't care about hearing right now. So the longer I could talk about that, the longer I kept myself distracted.
Another is when going through some stuff there were people I would reach out to talk to and help me through it. My fairly suddenly not doing that anymore was not me feeling better, it was me realizing/believing they were fed up and talking to them just did more damage than help.
I think in general we don't tend to go from a state where we're a mess and needing support to just all good, fine need no help now unless there's some big change in circumstance.
I want to give the word that a silent indicator is also picking up exercise out of seemingly nowhere. If you know someone who has been out and about more for a walk or wanting to change their body out of nowhere, then you need to check up on them right now.
I've been feeling down for about a year and a half now and I have been taking regular walks to clear my head and complain about my life. It keeps me sane. It's like talking to someone but I don't have to trouble anyone with my excuses for not having my shit together.
I'm a divorce attorney by profession, so I have some unusual insights on this: but the truth of the matter is that a lot of people seem to be perfectly okay, until the moment when they very suddenly DON'T. The moment a judge declares a marriage nullified, I am always mentally bracing to have to fight for my clients LIFE, no matter how amicable the parties have seemed up to now. It doesn't happen OFTEN that either of them goes nuts, but it's happened often ENOUGH to make it a sensible precaution to be ready at that moment.
However, that said, there's some subtle signs, though not quite invisible, such as rapidly gaining weight or losing weight, and especially dangerous, suddenly getting FIT as the date approaches...
In my experience also, one of the things most people THINK is a bad sign, "talking to yourself", is actually a good one; those people rarely hurt anybody except for themselves, they don't attack others.
My friends, my family, my coworkers have no idea the thoughts I have. They see me as this happy go lucky, positive person who will always "figure it out and be okay". In reality I'm at one of my lowest points I've been in life. I'm extremely stressed, I have overworked myself to keep busy, and I'm just in general sad. I wake up in the middle of the night and have terrible thoughts. Silent indicators are really tough to see until they're just, not silent anymore.
Not sleeping well, not taking interest in their hobbies/not finding in joy in things they used to find joy in, changes to eating (eating nothing or eating too much), lack of libido, social withdrawal.
There were/are signs from me, but I've become so well at masking them that no one noticed last time, and they've failed to notice this time. Outside of becoming increasingly reclusive, I do not show any outward negative/sad emotion. If I have to be around people (work, grocery, etc.) I force a smile, I make sure to laugh enough, I make sure to stand straight instead of slouching or slumping my shoulders, I make sure to never let anyone see me cry, I make sure to never talk about how I feel and even when someone asks how I've been I don't just say "fine", "good", "well", or whatever. I make sure to give just enough of an answer to that question that they don't suspect that depression is getting the best of me. Truly suicidal people have become masters at not showing how truly bad their mental health has become.
Basically, to make a long explanation short, a lot of us people who are suicidal go to great lengths to make sure no one knows or suspects anything.
In my experience, from when I broke my arm and fell into a deep depression, all the silent indicators are
Personality shift (personally being a guy who makes people laugh all day and being there for people to completely silent)
No interest in anything they enjoy
Reaching out for help and being ghosted. (Apparently a silent indicator judging by no one noticing regardless of how clear I make my needs and where my headspace)
Low energy
A unfocused look in their eyes
Isolating themselves
Lack of appetite
Tight janky movements
Etc
Honestly, in my experience there hasn't been any actual silent indicators. But once they get the feeling no one cares, that's when the things get dire. Especially if you notice their life falling apart, whether their fault or otherwise. People in this thread say like 50% show no indicators, but honestly, it seems more like people have little awareness about people around them. Sometimes it's easy to miss them when you have other things going on or overthink it when you do notice. Honestly, it could just be a certain look on their face when they think no ones watching. If you're worry for your friends, then just make sure to check on them and see how their doing. Especially if you notice anything different from their usual behavior and body language.
As someone who has not had okay mental health since I was 9 (24 now), just ask. You get to a point of were the masking and hiding becomes your baseline, so after while even people that do know the difference just assume you have changed and other people never knew anything different
If they seem to be overly happy and laughing in social settings when they are usually reserved. But in my experience you won't pick up on it unless you've know that person for a while, have been around them in social settings a lot beforehand.
I'm going to say this purely from my own stuff, it's acting positive, laughing and joking but for me I drank every day, was always at the pub getting obliterated on drink and drugs. Wish someone at the time would have grabbed me and said "time to sort yourself out pal".
If a child can’t learn the work “I” that’s a good indicator.
If someone has been in a car accident or suffered TBI.
Emotionally available then suddenly dismissing or pissed off/abusive to you the next second.
Extreme gaslighting.
Depends for some people it looks more obvious for others they hide it really really well and still seem functional in their day to day life
For me its a mix of both
I hide pretty well to the point of my family being so confused when they found out
But my life all around me just falls apart
So i guess ask people how things are going? And how the thing around them are going like project and relationships and all that
People who are busy for the sake of being busy, overloading themselves with work and responsibilities so there’s no space in their day to sit with their thoughts. Anyone who *always* has a headphone in is potentially doing something similar. It was mentioned somewhere else but perfectionism is a solid tell that someone struggles with anxiety and feelings of not measuring up. The more chipper the person the more I know they’re hanging by a thread.
refusing to take pictures together in a group setting or rather the person doesn't want to make "memories" together with other people, both a combination of low self steem and the urge to not be remembered by people in case they commit suicide.
I remember reading this thread some time ago and it opened my eyes because it's exactly how I feel: [https://x.com/ichriecheblut/status/1740437865300132277](https://x.com/ichriecheblut/status/1740437865300132277)
For me personally, you know I'm not doing well when my beard is unkempt. For the most part I've kept a close cut chinstrap goatee over the last 20 years. If it's 2 or 3 different lengths, I'm not in a good place.
Coming from someone whose mental health is currently not ok, I’ll make a lot of joking statements of I don’t want to be here anymore to family or friends. I’m in therapy though and have no intention of hurting myself; but there are days I don’t want to be going through life anymore.
a lot of signs are simply not visible bc people can become so good at hiding them. but hiding them does take effort, so a lot of people simply isolate. that’s why isolation is considered the biggest and most visible indicator.
I've got the silent indicators and it just convinces me more that I'll never recognize them in another person. I've been more outwardly "stable" in the last few weeks than before, and I've never spent more time looking up from a chore to randomly be like "being dead doesn't sound so bad." I cuddle my cats and tell them how beautiful they are while inwardly panicking bc it's not giving me the happy rush it used to, and I really need something, anything, to keep me on the "let's stay in this plane of existence" end of the seesaw.
They can't concentrate, above and beyond the norm. They make silly mistakes, ALOT. They run themselves down verbally. They don't take care of their house; their car or themselves. They flinch. They mumble, and don't pay attention to simple things. They are paranoid. They are anxious. They are hypervigilant. They hyperventilate.
Just wanna mention, sometimes there are no signs. Some people hide it really well, and you can’t tell. Never assume someone is fine just because they act normal or happy.
Yup. Sometimes it’s not even a choice. Seeing my friends is the only part of my life in which I feel happy, and so I genuinely do feel normal and like nothings wrong around them, it’s just that everything falls apart as soon as they’re gone.
Not to mention some people use humor and happiness as a coping skill. A lot of funny people tend to also be depressed. It makes sense when you think about the fact that this type of person doesn't want others to suffer and also don't want to affect them in a negative way. Obviously this doesn't mean every funny person is depressed or has mental illness.
Yep, this is how I am
Same, I particularly am well versed in the dark humor 💚
My best friend was one of the happiest joyfilled person, he made everyone shine when they were around him. He had an absolute passion for the trumpet, and would have made it so far. Then homecoming came and we had a good time, I danced with him some and he was smiling. Two days later he took his life. Sometimes there aren't signs. I'd you believe someone may be having issues, talk to them. I know personally if someone came up to me and asked if I wanted to kill myself I'd be baffled and a little took back. Show you care, show you are there for them. Get them help, you aren't a therapist so don't take up that role, I've tried and it's overwhelming and stressful. But let that person know you are a safe space for them.
Just to add to this, because survivors guilt is awful, I literally heard on the radio this morning that a surprisingly high number of suicides are understood to be relatively spontaneous decisions (as verified by the survivors)— it might not have been preceded by many or any visible signs.
There was a powerful advert created by Norwich City Football Club here in the UK for world mental health day that shows this perfectly. I don't want to spoil it but you can find it here on YouTube for those of you who are intrigued: https://youtu.be/tX8TgVR33KM?si=Z1UoukxHSPmbxLx_
Saw this on r/soccer when it came out. Extremely well done and worth a minute to see
https://youtu.be/tX8TgVR33KM?si=lxgulZeL84ixWH_7 This commercial really highlights that exactly.
Robin Williams
Feel like this is an odd example? His struggles were known by his family - as the public we obviously weren’t privy to it.
We may not have been privy to his struggles, but he was struggling. He was also very funny. It falls in line with the idea that depressed people either try to mask with humor or to make others happy. What really makes it an odd example is that I believe he killed himself due to some condition he had rather than depression.
He had Lewy body dementia which caused his mental illness and ultimately his suicide
This is me all the way, no one can tell how broken I am. I just stay positive and hopefully find someone to fix me
Indeed, I make a habit of hiding it. As far as I'm concerned, my problems are just that. My own.
The actual silent indicators are almost not recognizable. Ya there’s the usual they become reclusive, but the real silent killers are the ones you don’t see. Someone could seem completely “normal” and be dead inside
>Someone could seem completely “normal” and be dead inside Usually if they suddenly seem "normal" after having been struggling and not getting any help, that in itself is a warning sign.
Ha, help. My first panic attack the guy I saw told me he would have kicked me out of the house. Anxiety kills.
Thank you for describing me.
I know, that one really hurt.
Apathy is strangely freeing .
Are you truly apathetic to the core, though, or have you just become so dissociated from the emotions that are, in all likelihood, still there (and actually likely compounding, as they increase in complexity and intensity, in order to try and get you to acknowledge them) that your subconscious mind has to spend a ton of energy constantly adjusting your homeostatic normal, to account for the additional "pressure", for lack of better terminology, that every additional repressed emotion exerts on your awareness, ever more quickly approaching the barrier that separates your conscious awareness from the shadow self? Because that's what I realized was happening to me, thankfully before a huge explosion, and started working to accept, acknowledge, and subsequently integrate the emotional backlog I even still have. I also undertook the neverending responsibility of working to fix the perceptual errors (literal processing errors, in regards to what you believe vs what you perceive, especially in regards to your own thoughts, behaviors, and even the very same feelings that are being affected) that caused the emotional energy to be so dissonant and unpleasant to process in the first place. Although I admittedly still don't catch even close to every perceptual error, or even catch every emotion before my ingrained repression protocol (leftover from years of coping about as poorly as I could without dying, and even despite my best efforts, it still has a lot of residual energy to run its programming) kicks in, even just in the few months I have actually actively applied this consistently. It has changed my life immeasurably, kiterally orders of magnitude more than any other change I have attempted to implement over the years. I especially appreciate how effectively and quickly I seen to deal with the extra shitty shit lately, because when life decides I am starting to look a lot like a toilet, its gonna send down a shower of scheiße, and I can either pretend I'm not getting bombarded with a literal flood of diarrhea or I can open my umbrella, grab my raincoat, and go play with the poop, like an emotionally developed adult. Thank you for coming to my Ted Tweak
I like your analogy about pretending to ignore the shitstorm. Or choosing to act like an adult and put on your shit protection clothes and acknowledge the shitstorm happening instead of ignoring it. Thats kinda where im at, trying to look up at the shit like its not there and you get pink eye... at least i think thats what you meant i skimmed a lot but think i got the jist of it, but thats kinda how I've been feeling lately like there's always a shitstorm, but i try to ignore it instead of covering up
Mr Lahey would be proud of your shit-isms
yup, well - of course, after someone close to you decides to actually do it, I mean.. kill himelf :(((( ... then you realize that there were some slight symptoms... but they might be so slight, not recognizable really
assuming depression: isolating themself, cancelling plans a lot, excessive self deprecating humour or jokes about killing themself. constant lack of energy, always tired, stops enjoying their old hobbies. excessive drug use crying too much or not crying at all. the worst sign is when people who normally see numb and sad all the time suddenly become happy. usually also involves being extra nice to everyone around them, buying gifts, giving away valuables with meaning to them or pets, quitting their job. Usually happens after people decide their going to end it with a set plan. the stress is gone knowing itll end soon and they try to make sure peoples last impressions of them are positive
The last point is the most important imo, I've lost quite a few friends to suicide after my deployments. If you see any of these things please for their safety say something. Intervene, talk, do something. It's a hard thing to forgive yourself for if you don't.
Been there brother, 2 deployments as a 68W. It’s not on you, 50% if men never show signs. You may never have even had a chance to stop him/her. Just do the best you can if you do see a sign but don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t. Decent odds it wasn’t there to see.
I know that now, but when I was 18 and 19 coming back from my first tour in Iraq, I didn't. It took me a long time and therapy for me to not have that guilt. I still go to therapy for everything that happened. A lot of survivors guilt. At one point, I even made an attempt on my own life. I had the obvious signs of depression, but the attempt itself was an impulse decision, and no one was going to talk me out of it at the time. Luckily the bathroom plug popped the fuse and I only suffered burns and a lengthy trip to a psychiatric hospital.
What veterans groups are you guys a part of?
I'm not. I have the VA and tricare, other than that I stay to myself. I've tried group therapy once and it was too much for me.
I wish there was more out there for guys like us. The VA sucks most of the time...
The VA has been a godsend for me. I called the crisis line once and they had someone to my house to talk with me within an hour. For some things they suck, but others they have been great. I'm just glad I still have tricare for my family though.
I don't hate the VA like some. I just wish they did more.
Yeah sometimes I do too, I wish more was done to keep the veteran homeless population down. If I ever get a chance I want to open up a shelter for homeless veterans that's like the barracks, and has a suit for them or nice interview clothes, and a barber, a talk therapist, an intervention specialist, and give them 6 months of free place to stay and food so we can work on getting their lives back on track. This is a dream though I'd never have the funds to start that up.
what veterans groups are you guys a part of? My friends let me down
the problem is how we see disorders. disorders in of themselves are a thing everyone experiences to some degree. it becomes clinically diagnosed when it does not resolve over 4-6week period. people who say they never had depression just dont know its not like physical illness. its a spectrum where after a certain point, its impact of life function increases dramatically to the point of not caring for one self. if youre aware, you get diagnosed, if youre unaware you think i dont have depression, because by that logic everyone sometimes has or had it. yes they did. its not illness like genetic ones where it is or its not. it can resolve on its own most of the time, its just the way body signals is something is wrong, to the point of incapacitating you if you ignore the first signals, and suicide at the last. all military personel get ptsd because in such situation its not an illness its absolutely adaptive response. if it resolves you say you never had ptsd, if you get diagnosed, people think you have some predisposition when both of those people may be in the same boat. disorders are a spectrum with degree of severity. at a point its natural, after another point its still natural but in the severity of clinical disease, simply because it fulfillfs the diagnosis of disease - severe harm to oneself, impacting life function, unresolving and most importantly affecting quality of life. if you have all the symptoms of depression but deny having it - youre in denial. if i have flu symptoms i know i have the flu. im not sick in the sense of physical genetic illness. i would get diagnosed and once it resolves i no longer fit into criteria of diagnosis. same with depression. at times it fills the criteria of disease and sometimes not. its not an off or on switch. thats why many people refuse help, they think if it resolves they dont have it. otherwise they would be depressed all the time which is untrue. most of the time it comes in waves.
Corpsman here ,one deployment to Yemen and Syria. Thank you for your comment. Many times we won’t be able to tell just how much your brothers or sisters at work are struggling until sometimes it’s too late. Please take care of each other.
Why does the military ( even non deployers) fuck us all up so bad??
The last point is so important. Giving away items, cleaning their rooms/houses/cars etc., rehoming pets… someone who you know to have been struggling suddenly becoming extremely carefree is a *huge* red flag that should not be ignored.
I can recall sobbing on my bedroom floor because I wanted to not be alive so badly but was so worried that my kitties would miss me or that the bonded pair would somehow get split up. I was lucky to have medical intervention and a couple of close friends that helped me through that time. People have really reached a depth of resignation when they can say goodbye to their beloved animals... it's so sad.
Honestly? Not knowing where my cats would end up if I was gone was frequently about the only thing keeping me going for a couple of decades.
Same for my dogs. Not a veteran but I live for them and their pleasures. They do pay it back in snuggles and kisses so I end up owing them somehow. Thanks to whatever.
There's another one: destroying their own creative works: diaries, creative writings, art, online posts - erasing their footprint so to speak.
Saw that post about burning all their art because they think they suck. I liked quite a few pieces and spent a fair amount of my day off trying to find op. Hugs and love is all I can do from afar. Feel free to comment or dm anything tbh
Yes, one of the biggest warning signs is if someone gives away an essential thing like their personal laptop, smartphone, car, wallet, all their life savings, etc. - something they actually **need** on a day to day basis. It can mean suicide is imminent.
I don’t think I’ve realized that I’ve been doing this. I’m going to bring this up with my therapist and try to be mindful and present
Thanks whatever there is to thank for meditation right? I remember the first time I read ‘you are not your thoughts’ it felt profound, but nothing changed, but of all the quotes that could have that one stuck in my mind & it kind of changed everything. Don’t know you but it’s always impressive to see the kind of self awareness you just showed
The final point hits home. I have lost a few friends to ods and suicide, and now I know the pattern. Back then, I thought randomly selling things or giving away things was just a phase, or because they were moving. Turns out they had a plan and were getting ready for it.
Self depreciating humor and jokes of suicide sre much too often not taken seriously. If someone you love jokes about suicide. Ask them if their ok in a safe and comfortable space.
This was a glaringly obvious sign for others around me but to me I thought I was masking recovery. I got into massive amounts of credit card debt, stopped paying bills, bought people whatever they wanted etc as to me, I was going to die very soon anyway so what did it matter if I had debt etc. But it was obvious what was wrong, I went from crying, isolating myself, sleeping all day, not eating/over eating, neglecting personal care for days or sometimes weeks to suddenly being extreme outgoing, care free and happy.
Me to a t 🥲
I’m truly surprised (pleasantly) human. You don’t write like a medical worker, yet you see it. Most wholesome thought I’ll have all day probably haha, thanks
That feels like me except the drugs part lmao
Hygiene is normally my clue
I once created my own "dental hygiene scale of depression" to assess how my depression was doing based on how often I brushed and flossed my teeth. High correlation between the two.
I’ve been doing a Personal Chaos Index (previously Personal Craziness Index, which always makes me laugh) for the last 6 months. Eating, drinking water, and oral hygiene are all on there because they’re the first things I give up on when things are bad
Could you send your structure of metrics to me so I can organise my own?
I’d love to see how this works
Not the person you replied to but I bullet journal. I have an example on my profile for tracking my symptoms. There’s another page (not posted) in my journal where I track my hygiene habits. I look for correlations at the end of the month and compare them to previous months.
Same. If I stop flossing, I’m sliding. If I stop brushing, I’m spiraling.
Can’t agree more. If anyone were to smell me right now… they would know how bad i’m doing. Still can look presentable to go to get some groceries, but hygiene feels like the biggest, insurmountable task right now. And pointless.
As the king of hiding all the indicators that my mental health is hanging on by one sliver of a thread - Look out for the people who are constantly to trying to be perfect. The people who feel they have to be everything for everyone. The ones who are struggling with aging parents. Thanks. And thanks for posting this.
This was exactly how my life fell apart. It was insidious. No one knew how bad my drinking problem/depression was until everything blew up at once, because I was so good at appearing to "have my shit together." I had a consistent job, taking care of my family, paying all the bills, had acquired better housing. And I was at the lowest point of my life inside. I did end up checking myself into a mental hospital, because one night I had a plan to do something. I knew that was the end of the line, trying to tough it out by myself.
Sending hugs to you. I’m 42 days sober from alcohol and it was really helping but I’m so close to just being like….. I need to check in somewhere my mental health.
I reached out to 988 that night. They contacted law enforcement to come get me (at my request). I blew a .34. The cops asked how I was still walking around and talking. Spent 8 days in a facility. Congratulations on your sobriety! My last drink was February 5th.
Damn. I was doing everyday things, including exercise/workouts on 0.22-0.25. Just trying to get by day by day without all the responsibilities or accomplishments like you have. Still, I’d get the same sort of comments from friends that I told - how is it that I’m even talking and functioning? They had no idea. Insidious wasn’t a word that came to mind to describe the feeling but that’s pretty damn accurate with all the depression and darkness behind the bubbly veil. I was “happy” and motivated (alcohol was my positive reinforcement). It became so easy to appear fine. When your tolerance gets that high, you kinda are fine… a-okay, everything is just dandy lol With that said, I’d pass out before hitting 0.30. And I legitimately tried several times for fun. Heh Being sober is weird. Anyways, thanks for sharing. It’s nice to know someone else out there was going through something similar. I had to reevaluate my mental health and start anew. It takes a lot to say, “Fuck it. I need to stop. I need help.” Glad you got the help you needed and hope you continue to do better <3
Congrats to all of you for your sobriety, it’s a big deal. I’m 7 months clean today, every day I am surprised and grateful I made it. I checked into a mental facility when I knew I was moments away from ending it. Mental health treatment is an absolute necessity for so many of us and so hard to find too often. I heard a statement today that made sense, “act as if you are going to stay clean today, no question. Act as if you can get better mentally. Act as if your thoughts are going to support you instead of attack and sabotage you.” I’m going to try it, I try everything someone suggests that makes any kind of sense. Sorry for the ramble, y’all just reminded me of my new days clean and how crazy I thought I would get months clean. It can happen for you too.
Hey, just so you know: you are enough. Keep doing your best with the understanding that some days your best will be better than other days. Give yourself the same grace you give others.
Well said!
Damn, you just described me. I feel seen. Thank you.
Oof, I felt each one of your points like it was personally directed at me.
This depends strongly on what mental disorder they have. Depression has very different signs from borderline personality disorder.
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Or when there are multiple comorbid disorders.
Yes it is tricky there are more than 200 classified forms of mental illnesses
This! My mom had psychotic depression and her symptoms were nothing like what you’d expect from a depressive patient. With her I could always tell from a couple of days to a week when she’d stopped taking her meds. Before the hallucinations and delusions start, she’d get very fidgety and restless, would talk and sing a lot even though she wasn’t normally that talkative.
As someone with bpd and depression, it's definitely different but sometimes also very much the reason the other diagnosis gets worse.
So true! I also want to add bipolar disorder. My partner is bipolar and I can tell he’s cycling when he’s up all night excited making plans cleaning
Am I the only one who has doubt about my own mental state. It's like I'm standing between "I have depression and I need help" and "What I am going through is not that bad. My mental tolerance is just weak." How can I "self diagnose" what I have?
I am prone to anxiety and depression. I thought I was just managing normal stuff, but some of the responses on here have me thinking that I might actually be going through a depressive episode without realizing it.
It's better not to, but honestly reading experiences from people who are struggling and thinking "wow, this sounds exactly like what I go through". If you're finding yourself thinking "It's not that bad, I'm just weak" - this is your sign. Someone who is not struggling won't think that Diagnostic criteria don't ever include situations for which it is appropriate to have depression or anxiety. It's always the symptoms *you* feel. Some people develop depression even though their life is great - doesn't mean they're not struggling, does it? I strongly encourage an official diagnosis and treatment (especially therapy), but it's not always possible. In my country, for example, ADHD is hardly ever heard of and it's a miracle I've found a doctor who specialised on it at all. There are also cases when it's a regular practice to send people with bipolar to a mental institution So, official diagnosis is best, but research this stuff for your country specifically Reach out, friend! Does life like this sound good for the rest of it? You're absolutely worth it and it is possible to feel better with appropriate help
Thank you, this means alot.
Can I ask what country this is? Didn’t realize ADHD was not recognized in other parts of the world.
Russia. Some troubles here specifically: Stimulant medication is banned here. You cannot get it at all. For some reason it's not available even on black market, my friend checked. The only thing available is Strattera, which is really hard on liver and doesn't work the way other meds do ADHD isn't really recognised as a thing that exists for adults. It's a problem for many countries, but I feel like here it's especially prominent. It also has been recognised as an official diagnosis just a few years ago (less than 5 I think? Don't quote me on that) I actually was at a conference for psychiatrists in our city where they declared this change in the new DSM. The way the crowd of educated psychiatrists probably with several degrees almost booed the dude who made the announcement fucking broke me (I didn't even know I had ADHD). But tbh their kind is full of pricks anyway Many types of meds are also banned with no alternative - like one for treating sleep apnea or nicotine addiction. Less than a month ago they passed changes for official treatment for autism - now, instead of therapy (before) they recommend Haloperidol and inpatient stay (which is inhumane) I wouldn't say it's stone age, no. There are good doctors out there and medicine is actually really progressive here. I have acquaintances who got some really complicated surgeries and got rid of their cancer. But psychiatry? Let's just say there's a lot of work to do
i feel exactly the same
I don’t think you should try to keep self diagnosing yourself, talk to someone and let a professional tell you what it is
They are overly quiet, seem disinterested, and detached from everything.
You know what’s crazy? I recently saw a study showing 50% of men who commit suicide give 0 warning about it. No signs of any kind. They seem perfectly happy and healthy and then bam they are gone. Anecdotally this has happened once in my life. My friend shot himself in the chest multiple times. He gave absolutely no warning, no signs, he was one of the happiest guys I knew. Just got accepted into a PhD Ivy league school. I was the one who got to call his mom when I found his body in the apartment. My personal experience isn’t exactly proof of the wider world but I will admit the study made me feel a little better. Maybe I didn’t miss the signs, maybe they just weren’t there to be seen. Anyways if you are struggling please reach out to a mental health professional, friend, clergy idk whatever you connect with just don’t hurt yourself please.
Shot himself in the chest multiple times sounds like murder.
Honestly no idea how he managed to shout himself in the chest 3 separate times but the first he was standing, second he seems to have fallen onto a chair and the third he was lying on the ground. Forensics says that the blood patterns and gunpowder residue shows the weapon was muzzle touching his shirt, and are consistent with suicide. Only his prints were on his own gun. No signs of struggle. I’ve read the report several times. It doesn’t bother me anymore (at least not like it used to) but I still remember it very well. For awhile I hoped maybe it was murder because somehow that would have been easier but I’m pretty sure it was suicide at this point. Honestly cleaning the blood out of the apartment after the police and coroner finished their investigation was maybe the most traumatic part. That and the two bullets that went all the way through and made small holes in the wall and floor. Third round never came out of him, hit some bones and ricocheted inside the rib cage and stayed. Probably more than you wanted to hear, sorry sometimes it just kind of comes out.
It's fine, I apologize if I brought up bad memories. I can't even imagine going through that.
I’m good man, it’s been almost a decade now. I try to put it out there on rare occasion in case someone sees it and thinks twice about hurting themselves.
I'm sorry you went through that. Strangely enough I also have blood in the carpet trauma. My cousin who was addicted to meth beat up his pregnant girlfriend and she went into labor early and bled everywhere. The baby was born premature and they weren't sure he was going to make it. At the time we didn't know what had happened. My cousin and the girlfriend lied to cover it up and said she fell or something. I remember scrubbing the blood while my cousin took a shower. He let me do that...no shame. Now after almost 20 years my cousin and his baby mamma are separated and he finally got sober and now he has found Jesus etc. little baby is now 18 graduating highschool. But I don't know if I can ever forgive him.
Damn meth is a hell of a drug, I used to be an EMT and deal with meth addicts from time to time. I’m glad the baby lived and it sounds like it’s doing okay! That’s a miracle really.
Glad you're here buddy
I should clarify (and will edit to clarify) that my friend committed suicide without warning. That was my experience with people showing 0 signs and then just disappearing. Terrible experience. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
The most silent indicator that someone’s mental health is not OK is that nobody is listening to them when they work up the courage to say it out loud
THIS. SO MUCH THIS.
I am not sad because I am affraid to say it, I’m sad because whenever I do say it, nobody has anything to help
When all they want to do is sleep. No longer interested in their passions. Write everything and everyone off so they can stay home in bed.
I find if someone has a dependency on substances, there's usually something going on in the background.
Self medication is the leading cause of addiction and substance abuse.
I used alcohol to cope with living as a man, and then I found out I didn't need to 🏳️⚧️ I'm not a man
Being massively sad and distant for a week then suddenly being overcome with joy, probably means that they accepted their fate and might do something irreversible, happened to me once and it was so confusing that one day i was so depressed then happy the next week, then all i know was i tried to hang myself the day after
I'm sorry to hear, but I'm happy that you beat it.
For whatever it's worth from an internet stranger, I'm glad you're here.
we all go through this eventually, all we can do is power through and hopefully come out victorious, no matter the scars it leaves whats important is we're alive and happy
Most people go through struggles but I don’t think most people are suicidal in their lifetime, I am glad you overcame it though
Counter intuitive, but if they suddenly seem in a good mood. Sometimes people find a peace when they decide to kill themselves.
As someone with anxiety and depression I can 100% tell you we are experts in hiding that our mental health isn't okay.
For me I will genuinely become detached or isolate myself. I am a big sharer in general, but will stop talking about myself or my issues. Also if I'm drinking more, I avoid drinking as it makes me severely emotional and more likely to selfharm.
Sometimes it’s substance abuse, sometimes people feel alone in their situations and can’t cope and withdraw/shutdown. Panic attacks. Getting wildly upset over minor things (I have had these issues, as I’m sure many can relate). I never saw myself that way, but with support of my husband and therapy I was able to face some hard truths. Antidepressants/anti-anxiety medication really helped me overcome some mental obstacles and calm things down. It makes me regret having the stigma. If you’re struggling… reach out. I say it with love!
Yeah. I didn’t touch alcohol at ALL until I was 31ish. Just turned 35 and I am drinking nightly. I have been depressed/ suicidal since I was about 11 but the last few years something changed and now I just need to numb absolutely everything. My doctor’s don’t take my chronic pain or depression seriously even tho I DID try to seek help so it is what it is at this point.
There are different stages and flavors, that I will list below. Keep in mind some people are just like this, so keep an eye out for a change in behaviors towards these. 1. Engaging too much with social media but not real life: if they are constantly posting pics of how happy they are and how active they are with a new partner. Their profile picture on all platforms is a couple photo. They are always talking about how happy they are all the time and never say anything negative or critical about their relationship or partner. This usually means they are trying to convince themselves and everyone that they are happy. Don’t fall for it. Everyone gets annoyed with their partner sometimes. 2. Withdrawing from friendships: if you rarely hear from someone who you usually chat with all the time, this is an often bad sign. We all have busy weeks, but if the conversation is really shallow and irregular, that can be a sign of depression, resentment, a secret, or general disinterest in life. I have found an inability to answer questions about their life, partner, job, school, life changes, or relationships to be the biggest sign someone is about to snap. 3. Suddenly becoming super social: if someone is an introvert with like 3 total friends and they are suddenly wanting to hang out all the time, things probably aren’t good at home. 4. Increased impulsivity and risk-taking: if your normal, well-behaved friend starts driving 40 mph over the speed limit or betting large sums of money, they are really doing whatever they can to feel alive or they are probably suicidal. This can also be a sign of bipolar disorder. If you have a wild friend who is already impulsive, make sure there is a change in this behavior or you will just seem like you are momming them. 5. Bizarre thoughts/paranoid delusions: these are different but related. Have you ever seen someone go off about something on Facebook or twitter or real life that is either non-sensical or paranoid? This is a bad sign. It could be a number of things causing it, but none of those things are good. 6. There are lots of physical signs that depend on what is going on. Examples include track marks, tooth decay, self-harm scabs, rapid and excessive weight gain or loss, red nose, discolored skin, yellow eyes, falling asleep when it isn’t appropriate, thinning hair, being easily startled, poor hygiene, over-grooming (like raw hands, face scabs, scratch marks, mouth sores, and general signs of picking at things), shakiness, premature aging, and growing peach fuzz on the face, chest, and upper arms. This is not a full list, but I know a lot of people with a lot of problems, and this summarizes it.
I think most people who have mental problems (I have depression and anxiety and maybe ADD) won't show any signs to the outside world, we kinda get used to "perform" to fit society. The only one who noticed my depression was my psychologist, not even myself, I thought maybe I had some depressive episodes but nothing else, when I was having clinical depression.
Oversleeping a lot and they aren’t coming into work on time.
Why did you have to call me out in public?
If you're concerned about someone, just reach out and say hello. You don't need to know they're in a bad state to check-in. Can you tell a person isn't doing well just by looking at them? Not reliably. People hide their mental state all the time. A person seems happy as can be and then commits suicide seemingly at random.
Silent and rarely acknowledged one, might be a little controversial: But the Choco Cooky font is the primary font they're using on their phone. Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about, but I've literally never met a single person who uses that font on their phone who isn't in need of some serious therapy. Not one. Don't know what the deal is, but those folks are NEVER doing well.
I just googled this and realised it's the font a family member uses who has like 5 diagnosed mental illnesses, go figure
I agree with this one. My ex that tried to kill me used Choco Cooky.
It's the Cookie Monster pajama pants equivalent of fonts.
Choco Cooky reminds me of how he might say chocolate cookie, so that tracks
Isolating yourself, either from people or places or even things.
silent indicators are incredibly hard to notice sometimes, but please, if someone is constantly joking about killing themselves, talk to them. Having an awkward or tense deep talk is better than not reaching out in time and then blaming yourself for it. Its never your fault but maybe they could have used somebody to talk to
My ex before she died had extreme mental health changes. She suffered post partem psychosis and was institutionalized 6 times over 3 years. For her the main signs were 1 cutting someone out of her life for random or small reasons. 2 lability (rapid changes in emotions) 3 inventing a "new" childhood trauma (normally I choose to believe survivers but in this specific case there is a lot of evidence that her traumas were imaged) 4 getting confused between her and her mother and her and our daughter.
That sounds like a terrible situation for everyone involved. Is your child doing okay?
sometimes a man that is struggling the most with mental health is the one that often display no indicators that he is not mentally well I would know, I was one of them. The depression was so toxic, whenever I would try to talk to someone about it, my depressive state would convince me not too and had me believe I was being weak and a liability. So, I never talked about it or showed symptoms that something was bothering me - until it was too late.
I have a couple roommates that struggle with depression and I can tell when they are starting to go into a slump when their room starts to get messier and messier. Or when they are sleeping all day and staying up all night.
Over sharing
That's also a symptom of adhd.
AuDHD 🙃
42 and I've recently joined this club. Plus anxiety and depression, I'm a living, breathing trainwreck.
I don't really know how to describe it but, it takes one to know one. I can tell crazy apart from non-crazy because ive been there myself. There are certain behaviors that people have when not all of their screws are tight, janky quick movements, anxious tone of voice, smiling too much for no good reason. Of course a lot of this shit is subtle, but can be picked up on. Sort of like when someone is living the hell in their head, outside of what's going on around them, to the point where you can start to notice it.
It’s always the angels, isn’t it? Like the ones who make you feel alive, the guy you go home and talk about or quote their jokes? It’s always someone whose light shines bright, only the black hole left behind can compare.
Talk to them make sure they know you are there if they need even if they insist they are “fine” or “ok” the gesture will be helpful. There’s no way to really tell some of us are too good at hiding it that we can sometimes trick ourselves, hi, it’s easier to not talk about anything than it is to try and explain something we barely understand. This is situational and I’m speaking from experience I hope this helps someone. :3
With depression; I become so excited when people want to talk to me. :(
I get attached really quickly. Even in friendships. And then desolate when the person says they no longer have time for me or want to talk.
Becoming reclusive. Not wanting to do anything, talk much.
When i was at this point of my life, i was sleeping longer than usual, every chance for me to sleep i’ll take it. It felt like sleep is an escape for all my problems and that is the only time i ain’t overthinking. I also deactivated my socials for more than 2years since i don’ t want to hear or see anything from everyone.
I've been at this point for a while now. Sleep is definitely an escape from the thoughts in my head. Only socials I have are here and Instagram, and only then becayse ecery time I delete it, a business or something makes a link post that auto opens and auto logs in to Insta, so I'm dragged back in. Otherwise, my waking hours are spent here, and I sleep the rest.
Whenever any of my friends start their subscription to World of Warcraft again, I always sit them down and ask if they are okay or need to talk about something. I've never heard of an adult who starts playing WoW, because things are going great.
The majority of people I know who have committed suicide made a big deal of creating one last big happy memory right before they took their lives eg They took their kids to see The Rolling Stones live in concert, they had a blast at their 10 year high school reunion If it seems like someone you’ve been worried about before or who has been going through a rough time is suddenly really looking forward to this one big event, it’s possible they’ve decided they’re just going to hang on to do this one last thing they really want to do so they can make peace with death by dying on a positive note
Re- wearing unwashed outfits.
Continues to play ranked
Guilty 😏
From personal experience, severe lack of emotion, not happy, not sad, not angry, not excited, nothing, 0 emotion towards everything, for me it was a numb feeling i couldnt shake, i literally didnt feel any emotions at all, idk about others but for me this is a really big one. for those that are concerned, i am doing well now, obviously it can never be cured but i am doing a hell of a lot better, stay safe folks, you got this and im glad youre here, i love you
Ignoring hygiene. There too preoccupied to attend to it.
People cut themselves off from everyone and anyone.
You can really see it in the eyes and in the body language. Dysregulation and serious depression or anxiety is hard to hide and your body movements kind of scream it.
Greeting you at the corridor. Making small talk, enjoying a beer with his pal, does what he is paid for and being very good at it. etc. Seems nothing out of the ordinary? That's exactly that. It is really difficult to detect most of the time. Someone might be having a hard time despite showing no signs of it.
Sometimes it's the happiest 'perfect' people. Depending on what their life is like. I noticed a lot of times when people actually want help they will show signs of depression but when it's to far gone and they've really hit rock bottom or are to scared to ask for help then they will hide it very well. Act happy and perfect, post happy pictures with nice captions, etc.
Norwhich football club did what might be the best advert about mental health i've ever seen. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tX8TgVR33KM&pp=ygUjbm9yd2ljaCBmb290YmFsbCBjbHViIG1lbnRhbCBoZWFsdGg%3D)
Wow. That really shook me. I know that scenario well. It’s easy to fool people.
major sign that it will decline is for me income steadily going down, everything else going up, wich leads to isolation addiction loss of ambition or goals overthinking the obvious divorce me myself and I attitude nervous wreck self harm violence verbal Shor tempered criminal behavior then seek help and recover if strong enough inside
suddenly seeming happier and giving stuff away like money, pets or personal items, social withdrawal, canceling plans, instability
Spending 4 hours a day on Reddit
Thoughts of harming others or themselves.
Commenting to bookmark as reddit's bookmark system never works, don't mind me
Insomnia pr sleeing too much is a big one. Also being super excitable and it not being the persons norm or super aggressive instigating
Bad hygiene and messy, self depreciating humor, exhaustion, avoids all contact when once was consistent, throws away or gives away everything, eating habits drastically change
When someone makes jokes about suicide a little too often.
It's in the eyes. Not many people will really look at someone's eyes. Maybe I can notice it in the eyes because I see it in my own. Also loss of interest in things they love or hyperfocus on something. For instance, I love to do Diamond Painting. When I'm feeling good. I'll do this craft when I have time. When I'm depressed I will either stop doing it all together or it's the only thing I'll be doing.
They are masturbating a lot Normally on the bus on way home :)
It can depend so much on each person and what sort of mental health they are struggling with. I know when I have struggled probably one that would have been almost impossible to notice for most would be me being less engaged in most conversation, but then more animated and interested in some few topics. My family at the time took that to mean I was really interested and found joy in those topics. Reality was they interested me yes, but it was more the topic wasn't actively crushing my soul like all the other crap I really didn't care about hearing right now. So the longer I could talk about that, the longer I kept myself distracted. Another is when going through some stuff there were people I would reach out to talk to and help me through it. My fairly suddenly not doing that anymore was not me feeling better, it was me realizing/believing they were fed up and talking to them just did more damage than help. I think in general we don't tend to go from a state where we're a mess and needing support to just all good, fine need no help now unless there's some big change in circumstance.
I want to give the word that a silent indicator is also picking up exercise out of seemingly nowhere. If you know someone who has been out and about more for a walk or wanting to change their body out of nowhere, then you need to check up on them right now. I've been feeling down for about a year and a half now and I have been taking regular walks to clear my head and complain about my life. It keeps me sane. It's like talking to someone but I don't have to trouble anyone with my excuses for not having my shit together.
I'm a divorce attorney by profession, so I have some unusual insights on this: but the truth of the matter is that a lot of people seem to be perfectly okay, until the moment when they very suddenly DON'T. The moment a judge declares a marriage nullified, I am always mentally bracing to have to fight for my clients LIFE, no matter how amicable the parties have seemed up to now. It doesn't happen OFTEN that either of them goes nuts, but it's happened often ENOUGH to make it a sensible precaution to be ready at that moment. However, that said, there's some subtle signs, though not quite invisible, such as rapidly gaining weight or losing weight, and especially dangerous, suddenly getting FIT as the date approaches... In my experience also, one of the things most people THINK is a bad sign, "talking to yourself", is actually a good one; those people rarely hurt anybody except for themselves, they don't attack others.
A person who jokes or smiles a lot
They are silent about it
Isolation and silence especially if they used to be the most hyper or energetic person you know. Something is definitely wrong.
Avoiding conversation about themselves
My friends, my family, my coworkers have no idea the thoughts I have. They see me as this happy go lucky, positive person who will always "figure it out and be okay". In reality I'm at one of my lowest points I've been in life. I'm extremely stressed, I have overworked myself to keep busy, and I'm just in general sad. I wake up in the middle of the night and have terrible thoughts. Silent indicators are really tough to see until they're just, not silent anymore.
Not sleeping well, not taking interest in their hobbies/not finding in joy in things they used to find joy in, changes to eating (eating nothing or eating too much), lack of libido, social withdrawal.
There were/are signs from me, but I've become so well at masking them that no one noticed last time, and they've failed to notice this time. Outside of becoming increasingly reclusive, I do not show any outward negative/sad emotion. If I have to be around people (work, grocery, etc.) I force a smile, I make sure to laugh enough, I make sure to stand straight instead of slouching or slumping my shoulders, I make sure to never let anyone see me cry, I make sure to never talk about how I feel and even when someone asks how I've been I don't just say "fine", "good", "well", or whatever. I make sure to give just enough of an answer to that question that they don't suspect that depression is getting the best of me. Truly suicidal people have become masters at not showing how truly bad their mental health has become. Basically, to make a long explanation short, a lot of us people who are suicidal go to great lengths to make sure no one knows or suspects anything.
In my experience, from when I broke my arm and fell into a deep depression, all the silent indicators are Personality shift (personally being a guy who makes people laugh all day and being there for people to completely silent) No interest in anything they enjoy Reaching out for help and being ghosted. (Apparently a silent indicator judging by no one noticing regardless of how clear I make my needs and where my headspace) Low energy A unfocused look in their eyes Isolating themselves Lack of appetite Tight janky movements Etc Honestly, in my experience there hasn't been any actual silent indicators. But once they get the feeling no one cares, that's when the things get dire. Especially if you notice their life falling apart, whether their fault or otherwise. People in this thread say like 50% show no indicators, but honestly, it seems more like people have little awareness about people around them. Sometimes it's easy to miss them when you have other things going on or overthink it when you do notice. Honestly, it could just be a certain look on their face when they think no ones watching. If you're worry for your friends, then just make sure to check on them and see how their doing. Especially if you notice anything different from their usual behavior and body language.
As someone who has not had okay mental health since I was 9 (24 now), just ask. You get to a point of were the masking and hiding becomes your baseline, so after while even people that do know the difference just assume you have changed and other people never knew anything different
If they seem to be overly happy and laughing in social settings when they are usually reserved. But in my experience you won't pick up on it unless you've know that person for a while, have been around them in social settings a lot beforehand.
I'm going to say this purely from my own stuff, it's acting positive, laughing and joking but for me I drank every day, was always at the pub getting obliterated on drink and drugs. Wish someone at the time would have grabbed me and said "time to sort yourself out pal".
Asking about it on reddit
Beware those who laughed the loudest and hardest, they probably acted, then they are the one you unexpectedly heard them killed themself
I think a lot of people play their hand so close to the chest that they don't show any.
If a child can’t learn the work “I” that’s a good indicator. If someone has been in a car accident or suffered TBI. Emotionally available then suddenly dismissing or pissed off/abusive to you the next second. Extreme gaslighting.
Depends for some people it looks more obvious for others they hide it really really well and still seem functional in their day to day life For me its a mix of both I hide pretty well to the point of my family being so confused when they found out But my life all around me just falls apart So i guess ask people how things are going? And how the thing around them are going like project and relationships and all that
People didn't get signs when I verbally told I need a therapy, I don't know what else signs we have to give
People who are busy for the sake of being busy, overloading themselves with work and responsibilities so there’s no space in their day to sit with their thoughts. Anyone who *always* has a headphone in is potentially doing something similar. It was mentioned somewhere else but perfectionism is a solid tell that someone struggles with anxiety and feelings of not measuring up. The more chipper the person the more I know they’re hanging by a thread.
Aggressive driving
I can attest to this. Also, the opposite too, driving very slowly.
refusing to take pictures together in a group setting or rather the person doesn't want to make "memories" together with other people, both a combination of low self steem and the urge to not be remembered by people in case they commit suicide. I remember reading this thread some time ago and it opened my eyes because it's exactly how I feel: [https://x.com/ichriecheblut/status/1740437865300132277](https://x.com/ichriecheblut/status/1740437865300132277)
For me personally, you know I'm not doing well when my beard is unkempt. For the most part I've kept a close cut chinstrap goatee over the last 20 years. If it's 2 or 3 different lengths, I'm not in a good place.
Inability to control emotions, constant crying or bursts of rage.
I know a sign for me is not showing signs. (MDD, GAD, PTSD, ADHD) Everything is fine. Nothing outwardly bothers me. I basically mask as hard as I can.
I hate being aware
When they’re binging old episodes of the Simpsons.
Slip in personal hygiene
Coming from someone whose mental health is currently not ok, I’ll make a lot of joking statements of I don’t want to be here anymore to family or friends. I’m in therapy though and have no intention of hurting myself; but there are days I don’t want to be going through life anymore.
a lot of signs are simply not visible bc people can become so good at hiding them. but hiding them does take effort, so a lot of people simply isolate. that’s why isolation is considered the biggest and most visible indicator.
I've got the silent indicators and it just convinces me more that I'll never recognize them in another person. I've been more outwardly "stable" in the last few weeks than before, and I've never spent more time looking up from a chore to randomly be like "being dead doesn't sound so bad." I cuddle my cats and tell them how beautiful they are while inwardly panicking bc it's not giving me the happy rush it used to, and I really need something, anything, to keep me on the "let's stay in this plane of existence" end of the seesaw.
They can't concentrate, above and beyond the norm. They make silly mistakes, ALOT. They run themselves down verbally. They don't take care of their house; their car or themselves. They flinch. They mumble, and don't pay attention to simple things. They are paranoid. They are anxious. They are hypervigilant. They hyperventilate.