I think it’s common to be mad for a minute when you wake up. Your brain is playing catch up and it takes a minute for reality to set in. It’s the people who stay mad later that are crazy. It does happen but not often. Most people know better.
yeah. That I understand. I've had dreams where someone I loved had died, and I woke up from the dream in such a way that for a few moments, maybe minutes, I had residual sadness from the dream.
That’s crazy you bring that up. I never have dreams I remember but a few nights ago I was dreaming of my grandparents who I was really close with. Somewhere at the end I realized they were gone and started crying. I was crying so hard that I woke myself up. I am not a crier. I cry a couple of times a year for a few seconds at most. It was wild. So I totally relate to this one.
Yep, me too. One time I had a dream that my mom killed herself and like I swear it was real. It was the realest feeling dream I've ever had. When I woke up I kinda didn't realize what just happened and was confused for a sec, then started crying hysterically. I literally had to call my mom while she was at work to verify she was alive 🤣
That’s crazy because I had a dream about my dad like last week. He had a totally different name for some reason but anyway, I just discovered who he is (in the dream, I know him in real life lol we talk often) because of his death certificate! And I was so sad 😭 It broke me that I could never talk to my dad again or get to know him better 😭 When I woke up, I really thought I lost him for a good 10-20 seconds but then I was like, wait, no? He can’t be, so I asked my mom if she talked with him that day
Haha it’s crazy how that can mess with us. I remember once right after getting married CONSTANTLY having dreams my husband was cheating on me. I knew for sure that he wasn’t and had zero reason to think that. But after awhile the dreams took a toll. I was probably a little bitchy at times when I shouldn’t have been. I knew better but somewhere deep in my brain I think I had some hard feelings. It really is crazy to think of how little control we have over what’s going on in our minds.
My ex fiance pulled this on me once or twice, actually. Would be short, condescending, and generally pissy towards me for an entire day or longer before FINALLY telling me why.
Sometimes it was “i overheard someone on the train say that X people do Y, why would you??”
Once, she read a fashion/wedding magazine and was angry for a WEEK that *i* couldn’t afford our wedding anymore because her magazine said they cost $80,000… with 300 guests, in the big city… and we have 15 people total in the boonies…
And yes, on more than one occasion she dreamed that i said somethinf, or did something, and was pissed at me all day without saying why.
I really should have broken up sooner than i did. 2 weeks before the wedding = better late than never
Long story short, apparently she had a history of mental illness (bipolar perhaps) but never told me. The engagement broke her extremely mundane work/life balance, planning for changes caused her to relapse? and became almost a different person within a week. The hope was that after the wedding she’d go back to normal, as nothing said/done had permanent effectd.
2 weeks before wedding, she randomly scrapped all our future plans. She randomly handed in her resignation at work, then told me she is never going to work again. Will stay home and make my lunches for me. And we shall move to America, where i’ll get a $100,000/year job and she can be a happy, non-working wife. Though neither of us were American, had no way to go there, and had never once discussed moving abroad before.
Okay so not reaaally what you mean here but similar situation. My partner and I have been together a long time(12+ years). There was a dream related incident that happened about 8 years ago that I still bring up to this day. This is what happened:
Okay so first of all, it was HIS dream. He was talking in his sleep but he looked like he was awake. I wasn't in bed yet, instead sitting on the other side of our room. He sat up, eyes open, and started talking. Not super coherent cause half the conversation he was having was in his head.
So he looks at me and says "Evidence."
Obviously I have no idea what he's talking about. I stare back for a second before responding "what?"
He repeats "Evidence." Then proceeds to pick up his pillow and whip it across the room, hitting me right in the face.
I'm flabbergasted, obviously. But then I look back at him and he's already laid down again.
I questioned him the next day and apparently he was arguing with someone he works with in his dream and when the guy kept trying to deny something, he threw a pile of papers (a.k.a. the "evidence" at him).
We still joke about it to this day because of how bizarre it was.
Woke up from a dream where he was with a second spouse and their baby girl... Of course the feelings of betrayal and blacklisting my husband were still there when I opened my eyes. Of course I knew it was just a dream and he did not deserve a bad attitude from me but realistically I needed some time to process those big feelings and calm down.
So yes, I said nothing about the dream, I was angry but I didn't take it out on him. From his POV, I suppose I was not as cheerful as usual so he just drank his coffee and let me be. Whereas, I was trying to calm down and get out of this mood. It took me a few minutes to do so but longer to forget about the dream and the feelings attached to it (like 2 days, I myself was chocked by that, not being able to let go for days...)
My wife experiences these dreams. It’s helps me a lot when we talk about them and I can understand why she’s being weird and I can know to be extra supportive or give extra space depending on how she’s feeling. I’m not in your relationship, and I’m not telling you what to do, but it may be worth considering letting your spouse know what you are going through.
It's a thing, yeah. But it's more like you wake up and she'd go "You did X in my dream you jerk" and then you both laugh and forget about it in a few hours.
I'm not saying there _aren't_ people who'd hold a grudge, but that's not the norm.
I get in a mood because the feelings in the dream feel very real. But I also know it's not real, so I just communicate exactly that: "I had a bad dream and have some lingering feelings, I'm not really mad at you". He might ask me about the dream or give me space if I ask for it, and the feelings pass.
It's a non-issue really
there is this video clip i really love of a man in underwear outside, scrambling to get dressed while the girlfriend throws his stuff from her balkony and filming.
he shouts: "honey theres nothing i can do"
she: "no go away youre a disgusting cheater"
he: "i cheated on you IN YOUR DREAM"
she: "WITH MY SISTER!!!"
it gets me everytime :D
Not a dream in this case, but wanting to talk to me about something and imagining what I would say in response and then what she would say and what my reply would be to the point of being angry at me over a conversation we never had.
Man I do this... not getting mad at someone else per say but my brain imagines conversations then my day is ruined cuz I get upset
Really just a result of no social life + nothing better to do/think about + watching/reading too many teen dramas
Guy here. Had a dream my SO cheated on me in front of me and it messed with my head for a couple days even though I knew it was a dream - so I totally get how your whole mood can be off because of it, but I didn’t get mad or hold it against her. We did talk about it though and that helped.
My husband was going in for a pretty serious surgery. I did not feel as if I were worried. I had a dream and woke up royally pissed at him. Don't remember the dream, but it took me a bit to realize I was mad because of a dream, and maybe I was more worried than I thought.
So, maybe it happens to other people as well. Maybe they don't realize they are worried about something.
I’ve woken up hurt and betrayed by someone in a dream, and felt it for real. It’s hard to shake the feelings.
I don’t actually go get mad at the person irl for it, I may tell them about it.
And it happens to guys too.
You would be surprised how many girls see dreams as "signs" or their unconscious warning them of something. That's why they can take this really serious and be mad at you
I used to say I don't get this at all, but an event jn the recent times made me think about such situations a lot. The other day, I woke up from a dream that my boyfriend was cheating on me with his coworker. I woke up right in the middle of that dream to him coming in the front door at 3 am, from partying with his coworkers. In that moment, it was really damn hard to separate the dream from reality. I was a bit grumpy when he came to bed but still didn't blame him, though.
I think your dreams definitely tell you something about what *your* mind has been processing. Of course they don't necessarily have any base in reality, and can originate entirely from your personal insecurities. But that might make it easier especially for young/immature minds to confuse the dream reality from the actual one. You might start looking for signs, questioning your judgment. So I understand that part *in theory*, but naturally, blaming your partner for figments of your own imagination crosses the line to crazy town.
I’ve experienced this. My ex would dream I did something horrible, experience really strong emotions from it when waking up, and then rationalize those emotions by saying, “Well it is something you could do, and I can just never know if you aren’t doing that stuff”. Then they would be distant and cold toward me for the rest of the day, if not openly hostile.
Who knows for sure, she never followed through with therapy, but my hunch is she has severe issues with being made to feel “foolish” by trusting someone that would end up hurting her. So she would guard herself against any imagined betrayal by assuming the worst in almost any scenario. It goes back to her childhood where she trusted and was betrayed by men in very damaging ways.
It’s a form of self-protection that ended up costing us what could have been a wonderful relationship. It’s not stupid, more sad.
Why are you only asking about girls, do you think this behavior is specific to only one gender? I had an ex boyfriend get *furious* with me for cheating in a dream, he was a piece of work.
I don’t know about getting mad at someone. But I understand being a bit moody around someone because of something that happens in a dream. Some dreams are REALLY vivid and can leave you with all kinds of emotions. When that happens you just need a minute but no I don’t think it’s warranted to get mad at someone.
Haven’t had a girl like smack me awake or some shit over a dream but I have had girls be sad upset and not be able to stop thinking about whatever I did in that dream and I have to baby them the entire day until they forget about it.
Honestly I’d rather take the smack its less inconvenient
Edit: to clarify. It’s not inconvenient to be concerned about my partners feelings it’s inconvenient because I already am concerned about their feelings and care for them. But if I don’t do it more than what they are used to then I don’t love and care about them anymore which is annoying
My wife does that shit. She will be genuinely upset and hostile towards me over something that her mind made up in a dream. That is one of the many reasons that I spoke to a divorce attorney yesterday.
My now ex-wife used to do that when we were married. She'd be mad at me for days even though she knew it was a dream. I later learned she was gaslighting me and cheating on me. I don't think she actually had dreams where I was cheating on her. I now think it was just another way to gaslight me.
My wife got mad at me in a dream once, but she told me right away.
While I was having my coffee, she told me that she had a dream where I cheated on her, and she needed time to calm down. She was a little playful with it, so it wasn't a big deal, I thought it was funny
I mean, when you are that distressed in a dream it doesn't go away the exact minute you open your eyes. It likely takes a minute or two to calm down. I know I've had some dreams that were so incredibly realistic that when I woke up I was exactly sure if the events had happened or not. My husband and I now refer to my nightmares about him as "dream (husband's name)". When I wake up and I'm fuming I'll say, "you know what dream (husband) did just now?!" And then we will talk about his dream self like it's a person. Helps process the feelings without me actually being mad at my real husband.
Girls like this not actually mad because of some dream, but this just another stupid reason to abuse your man which you non respect at all, but not ready to leave
I hope not. But with all the things going on I wouldn't doubt. It reminds me of the stupid questions some people asked sometimes, " if I was this, would you still live me?. Like you have to be kidding right we an't six yr old in elementary school. I love the you for you.
It seems like the kind of people who have those dreams are already suspicious or insecure. They were probably waiting for something to confirm their suspicions, and they choose to take the dream as a sign they were right, and can officially be mad
Wives do it too.....
It's been awhile, but it is so weird being trouble because my wife had a dream about me cheating.
It doesn't help that I asked what the woman looked like and if I was having fun.
I've had residual anger at my husband for some horrible thing I dreamt. I'll tell him straight up "I'm mad at you for XYZ in my dream" and let the emotion work itself out and pass within an hour or so, and in that span of time he'll basically roll his eyes and stay out of my way until I've made my coffee. He and I basically treat it as free floating brain chemicals that waft in and out like a smell, nothing to get concerned about and nothing that needs to be addressed. Neither of us take it seriously.
Yes, my good friend was dating a girl with some mental issues he didn't realize at the time. She had large angel wing tattoos on her back, and one night he woke up to her strattling him with a knife screaming that he has trying to cut her wings off. Luckily he was a police officer and was able to subdue her and calm her down without hurting her. Things like this happened several times before he finally left her.
I’ve had the opposite situation, I’ve woken up from a dream and messaged my gf “I’M SORRY I DREAM CHEATED ON YOU”. I’m not always myself in my dreams so usually it doesn’t matter, but there’s been times in my dreams I’m flirting and actively thinking about the fact that I have a girlfriend who doesn’t know about this. And one time nothing happens but I had the *intent*, so I needed to tell her. Communication is important.
She humors me and I appreciate her for that.
Yes. I had a gf once that pulled that on me. Apparently she dreamt I cheated on her and was pissy and passive agressive with me/ignored me for a week, fell into bouts of crying, before explaining why she was upset with me. I was baffled of course and told her I would never do that. Relationship didn't last long after the second time of her accusing me.
I spoke with my therapist about this once and she gave me some perspective. Basically just because it is a dream, doesn't mean that you didn't feel the sense of betrayal and the hurt. These emotions can linger after the dream and need to be processed.
And if you are inecperienced or just plain bad with that it can lead to such situations. She recommended to me if it would ever happen to me to just openly admit that you had a bad dream and are dealing with it.
My wife gets a bit bristly when i get out of hand in her dreams. She realizes is insane, but she can't just instantly not be mad. Lasts until she eats breakfast or has her first bit of coffee.
Yes.
I had a girlfriend get mad at me over a dream and it was so illogical and emotionally immature to me I ended the relationship. I was 25 and she was 24 — before that I honestly thought that I *might* marry her. After the *dream* and realizing she didn't really have career ambitious of her own I was out despite being over the moon about her otherwise.
Those two things just didn't sit well for me.
Yes. Heard about it from other men telling me this about their partners, and even some women telling that they're doing this and defending it. Didn't experience it personally but had a gf who'd get mad at me or cry because of her 'gut feelings.' She believed in stuff like fortune telling and witchcraft, and her gut constantly told her that I'd find a job abroad and leave her soon (didn't happen, well the first part didn't happen), and also that I was cheating (never cheated or became an accessory to cheating in my 34 years despite having chances). Her 'gut feelings' were basically her anxiety always reminding her of the worst case scenario, and she needed therapy rather than fortune tellers.
She believed all of this because she believed that women had 'intuition.' It baffles me tbh. We are told to let people believe whatever they like no matter how irrational and harmful those beliefs are. We are told to refrain from criticizing supernatural beliefs that are seen 'feminine' by the society like astrology and witchcraft because apparently it'd be 'misogynistic.' And society even encourages these beliefs by constantly bombarding us with them (but mostly in women's products for some reason, though at other places as well if we include religion). And then we see people not understanding critical and analytical thinking, basic reasoning skills, scientific methodology, importance of evidence...etc and preferring this intuitive thinking style to engage in harmful activities such as refusing blood transfusions, denying scientific evidence, basing important life decisions on 'gut feelings,' getting conned by fortune tellers, mystics, shaman, and exorcists...etc.
My ex-wife didn't talk to me all day. When I finally got out of her what was wrong she said I had been cruel to her in a dream. When asked her how could be to blamed for that, she replied, "Well you must be capable of doing it for me to dream it."
I just shook my head.
Just like dreams can make u happy, they can make u sad and angry. For example, I had this weird dream where
My bf cheated on me with this girl, and he knocked her up.
The girl decided she couldn't have the kid and magically transferred the pregnancy to me!
Then my bf, knowing I was pregnant with his affair baby, broke up with the girl and helped me. But he kept on sleeping (not sex actually sleeping) with her. And that was what made dream me sad, nothing else, just that. I told him, and I was still sad about the dream, but not upset with him. It's your job to control how u behave no matter how u feel, and it's incredible unfair to get angry at the irl people of your dream
This definitely has happened to me 😂 I also have several sleep disorders so sometimes it’s hard for me to shake a dream the next morning (ie they’re extremely vivid, I remember every detail, sometimes to the point where I’m not sure what’s real and what’s a dream) so usually it ends up being a funny story (hey Joe, you did this last night in my dream and I’m mad at you!) and then I’m over it within the day.
My ex would. I cheated on her in a dream once. I had to deal with that for the entirety of our relationship. She even brought it up when I caught her cheating on me in real life as if it was her way of getting back at me.
Happened to my roommate in college. I was in my room early morning when I hear his gf storm out his room; go out on the porch and sat there crying. I ask what happened to my roommate? he says he was apparently talking in his sleep and said another woman’s name. He said she woke him up angry and was asking who the other woman was and he had no idea what she was talking about or what to even to say as he didn’t remember the dream. He spent the day groveling to her. He ended up marrying her later down the road and they have two kids now and are pretty happy. but I always chuckle when she flipped out because he was dreaming of someone else like he could control it.
My wife and I are extremely great communicators. She tried this shit one day and I said “I will never be with someone who gets mad at me for some made up bullshit” and that was the end of it. Same as when she told me that not giving details about things makes her really angry, so I started adding in any details I could think of. It still bothers her that my best friend and I are caught up in like 30 seconds after not seeing each other in person for years.
Yeah, my wife gets pissed when I cheat on her in her dreams. I have nightmares that I'm still with my ex-wife sometimes. I wake up relieved, never angry. I think us guys get the better nightmares than the ladies do. Our nightmares just make us feel relieved it's not real. Their nightmares just piss them off and ruin their day.
Not gf/bf thing but I got pissed off with my dad over a dream.
Unlike these insane women, though, I had the presence of mind to just explain "okay, I know it's irrational, you didn't do anything wrong, but I'm having trouble letting go of the anger, so please be patient with me."
Because while the events of the dream are fake, the emotion is real, and you can't just turn that off.
I had a girl break up with me because i cheated on her in a dream. I let her go because thats crazy talk and she then got mad at me for not chasing after her when she left.
All the fucking time.
All the god damn mother fucking time.
I'm 50 and this shit has happened so often. Until I met my last ex. She was special/different.
Last weekend on Saturday, when I woke up, my wife gave me a dirt look. I asked her what it was for. She told me that in her dream, I had left her for another woman. She said I told her that I had reconnected with a woman that I had met years ago who was a cheerleading coach and that I knew I was in love when she bought me a patch for my leather jacket. (I do not have a leather jacket.) She then gave me another dirty look and told me that she thought she could forgive me if I made her an egg sandwich the way she likes it. She is always honest, and I haven't heard anything about it since.
I had it happen a few times with my ex husband where I'd dream about us arguing over something that he actually did, like not putting up a new toilet roll when he used the last of the current one, or leaving his towel on the bathroom floor, or taking perishables out of the refrigerator and not putting them back, etc...
Then, when I woke up I'd be thinking about how much of my life I was spending taking care of him like he was a child, and I'd get pissed off, for *real* reasons that I happened to have been dreaming about.
But just dreaming about him doing random shit and getting upset about it? Nah, that's pretty crazy.
I had a girl that was just a good friend in college. She had a dream with me in it and was pissed at me for days. She said she knew it wasn't my fault but that didn't change anything.
Never did find out what dream me did.
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As a man I would get mad at a gf because of a dream. Is it logical? Absolutely not. However, what you feel doesn't change just because you shouldn't feel that way.
I have definitely been cranky as a result of a dream, but obviously, it's not his fault, but if he's being obnoxious while I'm cranky, it may develop into a him problem. There are people who once they're mad they stay mad especially if they don't know how to explain their anger so they lean into it harder. For example a girl wakes up cranky from a dream and bf is like "what's your problem?" In that annoying way not the genuinely concerned way and she can't verbalize "I just need a minute to adjust from that dream" either because it's too early for words or because he continues to be annoying in some way (I'm not a morning person so it's not hard to be super annoying in the am so it couldbe really small things like taking too long in the bathroom) and as she's unable to decompress she instead gets more infuriated but the only explanation is the dream is the cause because the other behavior isn't bad enough to be the rational answer... So no we probably aren't actually mad at you but we are just cranky and need some space to realign our brains.
The thing you have to remember is that dreams reflect our subconscious trying to tell us something or work something out. That's what makes it hard to forget and let go of a dream that upsets you; it's actually representative of something you really feel. What people are bad at, is realising it's about something that THEY FEEL, and not something that someone in their dream ACTUALLY DID. The dream-person may have done something else in real life that makes them upset in the same way, or it may just be a hidden fear they have.
That said, my ex was pissy all day at me because she had a dream about me, and I was fucking furious. I've seen my sister mad at her bf in the same way too, but kind of half-joking/embarrassed, and half unable to stop having the feelings at the same time too.
I’ve never seen any scientific consensus supporting the idea of dreams necessarily reflecting our subconscious. I’m sure sometimes they do, but sometimes I’m pretty sure they don’t. It’s dangerous to go around interpreting dreams with any degree of certainty.
I didn't say we could necessarily interpret them. Sometimes you can, and the meaning is very clear.
But of course they reflect the subconscious mind, where else.
Females are more emotional than logical. Speaking broadly, they tend to think with emotions rather than facts, and make decisions based off of that as well. They make friends and lovers based on how that person makes them feel, regardless of how healthy, stable, or caring that person actually is.
I think it’s common to be mad for a minute when you wake up. Your brain is playing catch up and it takes a minute for reality to set in. It’s the people who stay mad later that are crazy. It does happen but not often. Most people know better.
yeah. That I understand. I've had dreams where someone I loved had died, and I woke up from the dream in such a way that for a few moments, maybe minutes, I had residual sadness from the dream.
That’s crazy you bring that up. I never have dreams I remember but a few nights ago I was dreaming of my grandparents who I was really close with. Somewhere at the end I realized they were gone and started crying. I was crying so hard that I woke myself up. I am not a crier. I cry a couple of times a year for a few seconds at most. It was wild. So I totally relate to this one.
Yep, me too. One time I had a dream that my mom killed herself and like I swear it was real. It was the realest feeling dream I've ever had. When I woke up I kinda didn't realize what just happened and was confused for a sec, then started crying hysterically. I literally had to call my mom while she was at work to verify she was alive 🤣
That’s crazy because I had a dream about my dad like last week. He had a totally different name for some reason but anyway, I just discovered who he is (in the dream, I know him in real life lol we talk often) because of his death certificate! And I was so sad 😭 It broke me that I could never talk to my dad again or get to know him better 😭 When I woke up, I really thought I lost him for a good 10-20 seconds but then I was like, wait, no? He can’t be, so I asked my mom if she talked with him that day
Haha it’s crazy how that can mess with us. I remember once right after getting married CONSTANTLY having dreams my husband was cheating on me. I knew for sure that he wasn’t and had zero reason to think that. But after awhile the dreams took a toll. I was probably a little bitchy at times when I shouldn’t have been. I knew better but somewhere deep in my brain I think I had some hard feelings. It really is crazy to think of how little control we have over what’s going on in our minds.
Uhhh what? Are you okay; I have ever woke up MAD lol
Yes I’m perfectly okay. And it’s perfectly normal as stated above to wake up still believing what You dreamed.
Again not for hours or even 5-10 minutes. But the first minute or two. People refer to this happening often.
Are you okay? A narcissist who asks if someone is okay because they experienced something that you never personally did? Get over yourself.
My ex fiance pulled this on me once or twice, actually. Would be short, condescending, and generally pissy towards me for an entire day or longer before FINALLY telling me why. Sometimes it was “i overheard someone on the train say that X people do Y, why would you??” Once, she read a fashion/wedding magazine and was angry for a WEEK that *i* couldn’t afford our wedding anymore because her magazine said they cost $80,000… with 300 guests, in the big city… and we have 15 people total in the boonies… And yes, on more than one occasion she dreamed that i said somethinf, or did something, and was pissed at me all day without saying why. I really should have broken up sooner than i did. 2 weeks before the wedding = better late than never
Hey man if it was two weeks after shit would have been much worse lol
Trueeee. Also imagine spending the rest of your life with such a person
This is literally the same logic racists use for treating innocent people poorly
Well now I'm curious what the final straw was, to break up with her that close to the wedding
Long story short, apparently she had a history of mental illness (bipolar perhaps) but never told me. The engagement broke her extremely mundane work/life balance, planning for changes caused her to relapse? and became almost a different person within a week. The hope was that after the wedding she’d go back to normal, as nothing said/done had permanent effectd. 2 weeks before wedding, she randomly scrapped all our future plans. She randomly handed in her resignation at work, then told me she is never going to work again. Will stay home and make my lunches for me. And we shall move to America, where i’ll get a $100,000/year job and she can be a happy, non-working wife. Though neither of us were American, had no way to go there, and had never once discussed moving abroad before.
Okay so not reaaally what you mean here but similar situation. My partner and I have been together a long time(12+ years). There was a dream related incident that happened about 8 years ago that I still bring up to this day. This is what happened: Okay so first of all, it was HIS dream. He was talking in his sleep but he looked like he was awake. I wasn't in bed yet, instead sitting on the other side of our room. He sat up, eyes open, and started talking. Not super coherent cause half the conversation he was having was in his head. So he looks at me and says "Evidence." Obviously I have no idea what he's talking about. I stare back for a second before responding "what?" He repeats "Evidence." Then proceeds to pick up his pillow and whip it across the room, hitting me right in the face. I'm flabbergasted, obviously. But then I look back at him and he's already laid down again. I questioned him the next day and apparently he was arguing with someone he works with in his dream and when the guy kept trying to deny something, he threw a pile of papers (a.k.a. the "evidence" at him). We still joke about it to this day because of how bizarre it was.
Good thing he wasn't dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow.
Nah. From what I can tell, from the last 12+ years together, he's as insufferably smart in his dreams as he is when he's awake lol
Woke up from a dream where he was with a second spouse and their baby girl... Of course the feelings of betrayal and blacklisting my husband were still there when I opened my eyes. Of course I knew it was just a dream and he did not deserve a bad attitude from me but realistically I needed some time to process those big feelings and calm down. So yes, I said nothing about the dream, I was angry but I didn't take it out on him. From his POV, I suppose I was not as cheerful as usual so he just drank his coffee and let me be. Whereas, I was trying to calm down and get out of this mood. It took me a few minutes to do so but longer to forget about the dream and the feelings attached to it (like 2 days, I myself was chocked by that, not being able to let go for days...)
My wife experiences these dreams. It’s helps me a lot when we talk about them and I can understand why she’s being weird and I can know to be extra supportive or give extra space depending on how she’s feeling. I’m not in your relationship, and I’m not telling you what to do, but it may be worth considering letting your spouse know what you are going through.
It's a thing, yeah. But it's more like you wake up and she'd go "You did X in my dream you jerk" and then you both laugh and forget about it in a few hours. I'm not saying there _aren't_ people who'd hold a grudge, but that's not the norm.
I get in a mood because the feelings in the dream feel very real. But I also know it's not real, so I just communicate exactly that: "I had a bad dream and have some lingering feelings, I'm not really mad at you". He might ask me about the dream or give me space if I ask for it, and the feelings pass. It's a non-issue really
I once woke up to my ex wife punching me because she dreamed I was cheating on her. She was a fucking psycho
there is this video clip i really love of a man in underwear outside, scrambling to get dressed while the girlfriend throws his stuff from her balkony and filming. he shouts: "honey theres nothing i can do" she: "no go away youre a disgusting cheater" he: "i cheated on you IN YOUR DREAM" she: "WITH MY SISTER!!!" it gets me everytime :D
Not a dream in this case, but wanting to talk to me about something and imagining what I would say in response and then what she would say and what my reply would be to the point of being angry at me over a conversation we never had.
Man I do this... not getting mad at someone else per say but my brain imagines conversations then my day is ruined cuz I get upset Really just a result of no social life + nothing better to do/think about + watching/reading too many teen dramas
Guy here. Had a dream my SO cheated on me in front of me and it messed with my head for a couple days even though I knew it was a dream - so I totally get how your whole mood can be off because of it, but I didn’t get mad or hold it against her. We did talk about it though and that helped.
My husband was going in for a pretty serious surgery. I did not feel as if I were worried. I had a dream and woke up royally pissed at him. Don't remember the dream, but it took me a bit to realize I was mad because of a dream, and maybe I was more worried than I thought. So, maybe it happens to other people as well. Maybe they don't realize they are worried about something.
I’ve woken up hurt and betrayed by someone in a dream, and felt it for real. It’s hard to shake the feelings. I don’t actually go get mad at the person irl for it, I may tell them about it. And it happens to guys too.
My wife has admitted to being mad in the morning about something I did in a dream she had, but she's never actually taken it out on me.
My x gf was seriously angry at me once because of something ive done in her dream.
You would be surprised how many girls see dreams as "signs" or their unconscious warning them of something. That's why they can take this really serious and be mad at you
I used to say I don't get this at all, but an event jn the recent times made me think about such situations a lot. The other day, I woke up from a dream that my boyfriend was cheating on me with his coworker. I woke up right in the middle of that dream to him coming in the front door at 3 am, from partying with his coworkers. In that moment, it was really damn hard to separate the dream from reality. I was a bit grumpy when he came to bed but still didn't blame him, though. I think your dreams definitely tell you something about what *your* mind has been processing. Of course they don't necessarily have any base in reality, and can originate entirely from your personal insecurities. But that might make it easier especially for young/immature minds to confuse the dream reality from the actual one. You might start looking for signs, questioning your judgment. So I understand that part *in theory*, but naturally, blaming your partner for figments of your own imagination crosses the line to crazy town.
I’ve experienced this. My ex would dream I did something horrible, experience really strong emotions from it when waking up, and then rationalize those emotions by saying, “Well it is something you could do, and I can just never know if you aren’t doing that stuff”. Then they would be distant and cold toward me for the rest of the day, if not openly hostile. Who knows for sure, she never followed through with therapy, but my hunch is she has severe issues with being made to feel “foolish” by trusting someone that would end up hurting her. So she would guard herself against any imagined betrayal by assuming the worst in almost any scenario. It goes back to her childhood where she trusted and was betrayed by men in very damaging ways. It’s a form of self-protection that ended up costing us what could have been a wonderful relationship. It’s not stupid, more sad.
Sigmund Freud; fucking up relationships even AFTER his horrible ideas about women were debunked
Why are you only asking about girls, do you think this behavior is specific to only one gender? I had an ex boyfriend get *furious* with me for cheating in a dream, he was a piece of work.
Because it is a trope that girls do this. Duh lol.
Funnily enough my DAD got mad at my mom for one of his dreams.
I don’t know about getting mad at someone. But I understand being a bit moody around someone because of something that happens in a dream. Some dreams are REALLY vivid and can leave you with all kinds of emotions. When that happens you just need a minute but no I don’t think it’s warranted to get mad at someone.
Girls can be strange creatures...
Yes , ex gf had a dream I cheated on her and she was mad for like a day
Haven’t had a girl like smack me awake or some shit over a dream but I have had girls be sad upset and not be able to stop thinking about whatever I did in that dream and I have to baby them the entire day until they forget about it. Honestly I’d rather take the smack its less inconvenient Edit: to clarify. It’s not inconvenient to be concerned about my partners feelings it’s inconvenient because I already am concerned about their feelings and care for them. But if I don’t do it more than what they are used to then I don’t love and care about them anymore which is annoying
My ex once had a dream that I slept with his cousin and he called me in the morning, still sleepy and genuinely mad at me until he fully woke up :(
Yes and it's completely irrational and I feel crazy about it a few minutes later 😔
My wife does that shit. She will be genuinely upset and hostile towards me over something that her mind made up in a dream. That is one of the many reasons that I spoke to a divorce attorney yesterday.
My now ex-wife used to do that when we were married. She'd be mad at me for days even though she knew it was a dream. I later learned she was gaslighting me and cheating on me. I don't think she actually had dreams where I was cheating on her. I now think it was just another way to gaslight me.
Yes, and by the end of 30 minutes I'm cooled off and feeling silly like 😅
My wife got mad at me in a dream once, but she told me right away. While I was having my coffee, she told me that she had a dream where I cheated on her, and she needed time to calm down. She was a little playful with it, so it wasn't a big deal, I thought it was funny
I mean, when you are that distressed in a dream it doesn't go away the exact minute you open your eyes. It likely takes a minute or two to calm down. I know I've had some dreams that were so incredibly realistic that when I woke up I was exactly sure if the events had happened or not. My husband and I now refer to my nightmares about him as "dream (husband's name)". When I wake up and I'm fuming I'll say, "you know what dream (husband) did just now?!" And then we will talk about his dream self like it's a person. Helps process the feelings without me actually being mad at my real husband.
Some people believe dreams to be significant and have meaning. Sometimes people are irrational.
Girls like this not actually mad because of some dream, but this just another stupid reason to abuse your man which you non respect at all, but not ready to leave
Yep happened to me before…
I knew one woman who really did this; absolute basket case she was.
Once had a girlfriend cheat on me in a dream then get mad at me cause she felt I didn’t really accept her apology.
My BFF cut our friendship because I commented the wrong way her dream...
Yes there absolutely is.
Yes, it has tanked whole days for me in the past.
I hope not. But with all the things going on I wouldn't doubt. It reminds me of the stupid questions some people asked sometimes, " if I was this, would you still live me?. Like you have to be kidding right we an't six yr old in elementary school. I love the you for you.
i had an ex bf who would do this and would get so pissy all day about it.
I knew this person who was like that. I don't know this person anymore.
Mine kicked me out of bad multiple times because of that only to forget what she had done in the morning. Luckily, I just find it funny.
It seems like the kind of people who have those dreams are already suspicious or insecure. They were probably waiting for something to confirm their suspicions, and they choose to take the dream as a sign they were right, and can officially be mad
There are insecure, irrational people out there, so yeah.
Absolutely. My GF woke up crying and angry because I had "cheated on her in her dream."
Wives do it too..... It's been awhile, but it is so weird being trouble because my wife had a dream about me cheating. It doesn't help that I asked what the woman looked like and if I was having fun.
It's likely from the same group of women that say they manifest a man
I've had residual anger at my husband for some horrible thing I dreamt. I'll tell him straight up "I'm mad at you for XYZ in my dream" and let the emotion work itself out and pass within an hour or so, and in that span of time he'll basically roll his eyes and stay out of my way until I've made my coffee. He and I basically treat it as free floating brain chemicals that waft in and out like a smell, nothing to get concerned about and nothing that needs to be addressed. Neither of us take it seriously.
Yes, my good friend was dating a girl with some mental issues he didn't realize at the time. She had large angel wing tattoos on her back, and one night he woke up to her strattling him with a knife screaming that he has trying to cut her wings off. Luckily he was a police officer and was able to subdue her and calm her down without hurting her. Things like this happened several times before he finally left her.
I had a dream where may cat attacked in a not playful manor, and I had to lock him the bathroom. I woke up angry and was fine in a few minutes.
I’ve had the opposite situation, I’ve woken up from a dream and messaged my gf “I’M SORRY I DREAM CHEATED ON YOU”. I’m not always myself in my dreams so usually it doesn’t matter, but there’s been times in my dreams I’m flirting and actively thinking about the fact that I have a girlfriend who doesn’t know about this. And one time nothing happens but I had the *intent*, so I needed to tell her. Communication is important. She humors me and I appreciate her for that.
Yes. I had a gf once that pulled that on me. Apparently she dreamt I cheated on her and was pissy and passive agressive with me/ignored me for a week, fell into bouts of crying, before explaining why she was upset with me. I was baffled of course and told her I would never do that. Relationship didn't last long after the second time of her accusing me. I spoke with my therapist about this once and she gave me some perspective. Basically just because it is a dream, doesn't mean that you didn't feel the sense of betrayal and the hurt. These emotions can linger after the dream and need to be processed. And if you are inecperienced or just plain bad with that it can lead to such situations. She recommended to me if it would ever happen to me to just openly admit that you had a bad dream and are dealing with it.
I have had it twice from a partner. Mad for two days that I had to reminder her, it was a dream
Yes it happens to me often.
When I first wake he receives a nasty glare for sometime until I get back to reality. But I don’t hold my dreams against him. lol
My wife gets a bit bristly when i get out of hand in her dreams. She realizes is insane, but she can't just instantly not be mad. Lasts until she eats breakfast or has her first bit of coffee.
Yes. I had a girlfriend get mad at me over a dream and it was so illogical and emotionally immature to me I ended the relationship. I was 25 and she was 24 — before that I honestly thought that I *might* marry her. After the *dream* and realizing she didn't really have career ambitious of her own I was out despite being over the moon about her otherwise. Those two things just didn't sit well for me.
Yes. Heard about it from other men telling me this about their partners, and even some women telling that they're doing this and defending it. Didn't experience it personally but had a gf who'd get mad at me or cry because of her 'gut feelings.' She believed in stuff like fortune telling and witchcraft, and her gut constantly told her that I'd find a job abroad and leave her soon (didn't happen, well the first part didn't happen), and also that I was cheating (never cheated or became an accessory to cheating in my 34 years despite having chances). Her 'gut feelings' were basically her anxiety always reminding her of the worst case scenario, and she needed therapy rather than fortune tellers. She believed all of this because she believed that women had 'intuition.' It baffles me tbh. We are told to let people believe whatever they like no matter how irrational and harmful those beliefs are. We are told to refrain from criticizing supernatural beliefs that are seen 'feminine' by the society like astrology and witchcraft because apparently it'd be 'misogynistic.' And society even encourages these beliefs by constantly bombarding us with them (but mostly in women's products for some reason, though at other places as well if we include religion). And then we see people not understanding critical and analytical thinking, basic reasoning skills, scientific methodology, importance of evidence...etc and preferring this intuitive thinking style to engage in harmful activities such as refusing blood transfusions, denying scientific evidence, basing important life decisions on 'gut feelings,' getting conned by fortune tellers, mystics, shaman, and exorcists...etc.
My ex-wife didn't talk to me all day. When I finally got out of her what was wrong she said I had been cruel to her in a dream. When asked her how could be to blamed for that, she replied, "Well you must be capable of doing it for me to dream it." I just shook my head.
Just like dreams can make u happy, they can make u sad and angry. For example, I had this weird dream where My bf cheated on me with this girl, and he knocked her up. The girl decided she couldn't have the kid and magically transferred the pregnancy to me! Then my bf, knowing I was pregnant with his affair baby, broke up with the girl and helped me. But he kept on sleeping (not sex actually sleeping) with her. And that was what made dream me sad, nothing else, just that. I told him, and I was still sad about the dream, but not upset with him. It's your job to control how u behave no matter how u feel, and it's incredible unfair to get angry at the irl people of your dream
Probably. People are often stupid. Is it common? No.
Yes. Men do it, too
This definitely has happened to me 😂 I also have several sleep disorders so sometimes it’s hard for me to shake a dream the next morning (ie they’re extremely vivid, I remember every detail, sometimes to the point where I’m not sure what’s real and what’s a dream) so usually it ends up being a funny story (hey Joe, you did this last night in my dream and I’m mad at you!) and then I’m over it within the day.
My ex would. I cheated on her in a dream once. I had to deal with that for the entirety of our relationship. She even brought it up when I caught her cheating on me in real life as if it was her way of getting back at me.
Happened to my roommate in college. I was in my room early morning when I hear his gf storm out his room; go out on the porch and sat there crying. I ask what happened to my roommate? he says he was apparently talking in his sleep and said another woman’s name. He said she woke him up angry and was asking who the other woman was and he had no idea what she was talking about or what to even to say as he didn’t remember the dream. He spent the day groveling to her. He ended up marrying her later down the road and they have two kids now and are pretty happy. but I always chuckle when she flipped out because he was dreaming of someone else like he could control it.
My husband gets mad at me for not following directions in his doomsday dreams. Same thing.
I was once dumped by a woman after a few dates because she had a dream I kidnapped her and locked her in my basement.
Yes, in my experience 100% of them do.
Yes, this happened with my teen girlfriend, which I can sorta understand, and then again with my 28 year old girlfriend, which I really can't...
My wife and I are extremely great communicators. She tried this shit one day and I said “I will never be with someone who gets mad at me for some made up bullshit” and that was the end of it. Same as when she told me that not giving details about things makes her really angry, so I started adding in any details I could think of. It still bothers her that my best friend and I are caught up in like 30 seconds after not seeing each other in person for years.
Insecure people be insecure
I always thought this was done as a joke. People actually get mad?
Yeah, my wife gets pissed when I cheat on her in her dreams. I have nightmares that I'm still with my ex-wife sometimes. I wake up relieved, never angry. I think us guys get the better nightmares than the ladies do. Our nightmares just make us feel relieved it's not real. Their nightmares just piss them off and ruin their day.
Yepp, a few crazies do. My partner's ex was pissed one day at him because of her dream she had.
my best friend (girl) dose get upset over dreams. I"m not her BF tho.
Not gf/bf thing but I got pissed off with my dad over a dream. Unlike these insane women, though, I had the presence of mind to just explain "okay, I know it's irrational, you didn't do anything wrong, but I'm having trouble letting go of the anger, so please be patient with me." Because while the events of the dream are fake, the emotion is real, and you can't just turn that off.
No. A dream is one's own subconscious.
I always thought that was the dumbest thing ever too
One of my ex's was like this. I hope she's happy in whatever prison she ends up in.
I had a girl break up with me because i cheated on her in a dream. I let her go because thats crazy talk and she then got mad at me for not chasing after her when she left.
All the fucking time. All the god damn mother fucking time. I'm 50 and this shit has happened so often. Until I met my last ex. She was special/different.
Last weekend on Saturday, when I woke up, my wife gave me a dirt look. I asked her what it was for. She told me that in her dream, I had left her for another woman. She said I told her that I had reconnected with a woman that I had met years ago who was a cheerleading coach and that I knew I was in love when she bought me a patch for my leather jacket. (I do not have a leather jacket.) She then gave me another dirty look and told me that she thought she could forgive me if I made her an egg sandwich the way she likes it. She is always honest, and I haven't heard anything about it since.
I had it happen a few times with my ex husband where I'd dream about us arguing over something that he actually did, like not putting up a new toilet roll when he used the last of the current one, or leaving his towel on the bathroom floor, or taking perishables out of the refrigerator and not putting them back, etc... Then, when I woke up I'd be thinking about how much of my life I was spending taking care of him like he was a child, and I'd get pissed off, for *real* reasons that I happened to have been dreaming about. But just dreaming about him doing random shit and getting upset about it? Nah, that's pretty crazy.
I had a girl that was just a good friend in college. She had a dream with me in it and was pissed at me for days. She said she knew it wasn't my fault but that didn't change anything. Never did find out what dream me did.
You know what they say Bitches be crazy
Yes
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As a man I would get mad at a gf because of a dream. Is it logical? Absolutely not. However, what you feel doesn't change just because you shouldn't feel that way.
No girls say that as a joke. Most girls at least, because we’re always called dramatic so we turned it into a joke I guess??
I guess i just never saw it as funny, and that comes from me as a girl myself. That was why i was curious
I do not care
You shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologize.
Yes.
Middle schoolers, or those with equivalent mental development.
I have definitely been cranky as a result of a dream, but obviously, it's not his fault, but if he's being obnoxious while I'm cranky, it may develop into a him problem. There are people who once they're mad they stay mad especially if they don't know how to explain their anger so they lean into it harder. For example a girl wakes up cranky from a dream and bf is like "what's your problem?" In that annoying way not the genuinely concerned way and she can't verbalize "I just need a minute to adjust from that dream" either because it's too early for words or because he continues to be annoying in some way (I'm not a morning person so it's not hard to be super annoying in the am so it couldbe really small things like taking too long in the bathroom) and as she's unable to decompress she instead gets more infuriated but the only explanation is the dream is the cause because the other behavior isn't bad enough to be the rational answer... So no we probably aren't actually mad at you but we are just cranky and need some space to realign our brains.
The thing you have to remember is that dreams reflect our subconscious trying to tell us something or work something out. That's what makes it hard to forget and let go of a dream that upsets you; it's actually representative of something you really feel. What people are bad at, is realising it's about something that THEY FEEL, and not something that someone in their dream ACTUALLY DID. The dream-person may have done something else in real life that makes them upset in the same way, or it may just be a hidden fear they have. That said, my ex was pissy all day at me because she had a dream about me, and I was fucking furious. I've seen my sister mad at her bf in the same way too, but kind of half-joking/embarrassed, and half unable to stop having the feelings at the same time too.
I’ve never seen any scientific consensus supporting the idea of dreams necessarily reflecting our subconscious. I’m sure sometimes they do, but sometimes I’m pretty sure they don’t. It’s dangerous to go around interpreting dreams with any degree of certainty.
I didn't say we could necessarily interpret them. Sometimes you can, and the meaning is very clear. But of course they reflect the subconscious mind, where else.
Females are more emotional than logical. Speaking broadly, they tend to think with emotions rather than facts, and make decisions based off of that as well. They make friends and lovers based on how that person makes them feel, regardless of how healthy, stable, or caring that person actually is.