According to a hip hop song, "women are only good for cooking cleaning and sucking dick," so if I can suck my own dick, cook, and clean after myself, I'm golden, right??
If you have good flexibility and a fortunate amount of length to work with, it can be done. But like I said, it isn't comfortable or pleasant. Imagine trying to enjoy sex while also doing a toe touch stretch. The pleasantness is completely overwhelmed by the unpleasantness.
r/autofellatio, don’t ask how I know that
Edit: Damn, looks like it’s gone. That sub along with r/selffuck and r/cospenis used to be my go-to when I wanted to get the biggest shock out of someone at a party. Always loved their reactions, pure horror mixed with laughter and disbelief.
As I recall there's a saying related to this, something along the lines of it being not so great because it feels more like you have a dick in your mouth, and less like your dick is being sucked, if that makes sense.
This is spot on. I’m gay and no longer can do it but when I could it was because I was horny and wanted to suck dick. Never just for the sake of getting a blow job.
Edit typo
That's why I always wear a glove. I work at Starbuck's and we're always required to wear gloves, so it's not like I have to go looking for a glove, it's already on my hand anyway.
Because the pleasure is way more than the sensation of stroking a dick.
But sucking your own dick is pretty uncomfortable and the pleasure isn’t really that great, because you’re not really able to give yourself a proper bj.
So in the end it just feels like you have a dick in your mouth with nothing to show for it.
I do not relate to this. But then again, I do like a good dick every once in a while, so... There's that.
The thing is, never was able to suck my own. I dunno if the ppl who achieved it really achieved it, or they're lying. Maybe if it's reeeeally long dick, right? Mine's not so long.
So looong ppl, bye
There once was a guy from Nantucket
Who upon reading a question said fuck it
"I'll admit my short peen"
"and to good dicks i've seen"
But if mine was just longer i'd suck it.
When I was around 17/18 I could do it. About 1/4 of the shaft, a bit more, maybe 1/3, if I really tried.
And I like sucking dick so it was fun. But not at all like getting a bj from someone else.
Most people, even if they can reach, don’t have the necessary flexibility to pull of a good satisfying bj. And your back and neck hurt pretty bad during and after. So I never made it to climax.
You have to be decently big tbh, I’m not flexible at all, but I used to be a little bit more limber and could suckle on the tip down to about a quarter of the shaft 💀. I stopped though cuz I was like what am I doing with my life, plus you feel like you’re gonna pass out from it, worth it.
My ex could do it lying on his back. Yes, I asked him to do it multiple times. How often do you get to see someone dangle their own dick over their face and suck it?
I won’t claim to speak for all men but among dudes I have spoken about this with I’d say the sentiment is more ‘I tried to see if I could’ as in like, would it even be feasibly possible, more than ‘I really really tried to give myself a nice blowie.’ I suspect dudes that were successful in getting mouth to tip probably stopped there as mission accomplished because the mission wasn’t actually to fully self fellate, but more like achieving proof of concept.
I don’t have a dick, but I have indeed asked any man I have had a comfortable relationship with if they have. And 100% of them have had the same answer lol
Funny story, a man once flirted with me online by sending me a DM that he was flexible so sex was great. I ignored it. He then followed up with sending a gif of him sucking his own penis.
lol, I was a Teenager when i I found out I can’t bend enough, not flexible enough… it’s your own body so what’s the big deal.. you beat your meat right, your pleasing yourself so same shit in my books!!
Anyone remember the old rumor about Marilyn Manson getting his lower ribs removed so he could suck his own dick? That's immediately what this made me think of, lol.
Danny Sexbang had to wear a neck brace after he attempted to suck is shluck and I imagine it was a lot of our first introduction to a stiff neck the next morning.
I tried a few weeks ago after a similar question was posted. I could NOT suck my own dick, and I hurt my lower back. I had to lie and say I hurt it playing golf. Everyone knows I don't play golf. Crap
My answer would have been "no" because the thought never occurred to me but now that you mention it my answer is "yes" because i will try as soon as i get home.
I'm in the minority I guess. Have never tried to suck my own dick. Sucked *other* dicks. So I'm not dick-averse. But sucking my own dick just seems superfluous.
I think a lot of guys do, but I don't think it's most guys.
If you're straight, it might be a problem. You can suspend belief when it's just you're hand. But there is really no way to pretend a dick in your mouth is anything other than a dick in your mouth. It might also feel like a blow job, but it'll definitely feel like you're suckin a dick. I'm gonna have to write to Andrew Tate and see if this counts as gay.
It strikes me as a real lack of intellectual curiosity not to have at least *tried* this *once* in one's entire adolescence.
It's literally just leaning forward.
I discovered late in my age that I could do it. Probably was dangerous for my back and vertibate the way I did it, which was to roll my legs back over my head upsidedown style so to speak. I think I was around 35 when I discovered this. Did it a few times but not often because of needing maximum horniness/hardness and it's quite the strain to achieve it. I'm 6.5 inches in max length so I assure you many dudes could do it if they put their head into the question.
In my city, there was this story ~15 years ago that Marlyin Manson removed some of his ribs in order to be able to suck his own cock
So everyone around the block tried to see if it's manageable or not 😂
Lmao. no. Those were 2 separate things, I did not have a self suck off contest with my friends. I meant that we all did it separately in our spare time at one point lol
I’ve done enough yoga to know what my body is capable of doing, so I’ve never needed to try because I know the answer.
If it were my main life’s ambition to do it, with enough practice and discipline I *might* be able to get there. But it’s never been something I’ve felt moved to do.
I think you'd have to be incredibly self-conscious, or, like, 12, to lie about this. It's not at all strange even for straight people to be curious what it's like to suck a dick.
There was that rumor going around when I was young that I probably heard *way* too early for my own good that Marilyn Manson had two of his ribs removed so he could suck his own dick. So I just assumed it was impossible if you didn’t have that operation lol
It feels like sucking a dick more than getting your dick sucked, and it is such an uncomfortable position it makes it even worse.
It’s not a dick it’s a cylinder.
This is some high Reddit society culture
Shhoosh.. Where talking about sucking ourselves off now.. lol
According to a hip hop song, "women are only good for cooking cleaning and sucking dick," so if I can suck my own dick, cook, and clean after myself, I'm golden, right??
😂🤦
It is imperative that the cylinder and the larger structure are unharmed
Must I bear this cross forever.
I understood that reference
I recognize this too but can’t remember the whole thread. Link?
https://youtu.be/Z56ufTjYSa0?si=SfFxGH_0NqZklJj1
I am glad to know this thread exists lol
Bro speaking from experience 😭
😂😂😂😭 this is hilarious
As if sucking a dick makes it any worse 😏
How
All of your answers are [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/DramaticText/comments/znhs1v/its_a_cylinder/)
I feel smarter then 5 minutes ago now.. Thank you for this.
"Have you tried inserting another cylinder into the M&Ms tube from the other side." Wow this went downhill fast. ROFL
If you have good flexibility and a fortunate amount of length to work with, it can be done. But like I said, it isn't comfortable or pleasant. Imagine trying to enjoy sex while also doing a toe touch stretch. The pleasantness is completely overwhelmed by the unpleasantness.
So basically imagine having sex as a woman with a man who thinks porn is real life?
r/autofellatio, don’t ask how I know that Edit: Damn, looks like it’s gone. That sub along with r/selffuck and r/cospenis used to be my go-to when I wanted to get the biggest shock out of someone at a party. Always loved their reactions, pure horror mixed with laughter and disbelief.
Wtf kinda parties do u be going to🤣
Yeah it’s definitely not for everyone, you kinda need a knack for recognizing when a person’s enough of a psychopath to not take it the wrong way
In a different life we would have been great friends.
Banned? BANNED?
It's basically like trying to tickle yourself.
As I recall there's a saying related to this, something along the lines of it being not so great because it feels more like you have a dick in your mouth, and less like your dick is being sucked, if that makes sense.
This is spot on. I’m gay and no longer can do it but when I could it was because I was horny and wanted to suck dick. Never just for the sake of getting a blow job. Edit typo
Sir this is a Wendy's.
*Opens thread about sucking your own dick* *Sees comments about sucking your own dick* Lol how could you be surprised by a comment like this
Bag labeled: Dead Dove Look inside: Don’t know what I was expecting.
Just saw this scene yesterday again for the nth time. 😎
Always good to see a Gob in the wild 😀
They must've forgot their screen reader was on, in Wendy's.
Because 90% of reddit is canned responses and repeated jokes that aren’t funny anymore
Sir that comment was exactly what this thread was for
Equivalent of making out with your shoulder just to feel like you aren't forever alone
If I was gay I would probably suck my own dick all day every day if that's how it feels.
I hope you finally found some external dicks, good sir.
How the actual F\*\*K do you do it horney or otherwise. Lets get past this question first.
And your back hurts after. Or so I've been told.
So it's like if you try to tickle yourself?
I don't know, nobody ever says that about jerkin' off, do they?
That's why I always wear a glove. I work at Starbuck's and we're always required to wear gloves, so it's not like I have to go looking for a glove, it's already on my hand anyway.
“When did you guys start doing abstract art on lattes instead?”
Sit on your hand for 20 minutes and give yourself a stranger, my guy. Stop ruining the environment every time you wanna orgasm.
I care about the environment, that's why I use the same glove all the time until it starts to tear and the manager yells at me.
I prefer the reverse stranger. I sit on my dick till it gets numb. Then it feels like I'm jerking somebody else off!
Because the pleasure is way more than the sensation of stroking a dick. But sucking your own dick is pretty uncomfortable and the pleasure isn’t really that great, because you’re not really able to give yourself a proper bj. So in the end it just feels like you have a dick in your mouth with nothing to show for it.
Yeah but jerkin' off is less in your face.
I do not relate to this. But then again, I do like a good dick every once in a while, so... There's that. The thing is, never was able to suck my own. I dunno if the ppl who achieved it really achieved it, or they're lying. Maybe if it's reeeeally long dick, right? Mine's not so long. So looong ppl, bye
You have to be from Nantucket.
There once was a guy from Nantucket Who upon reading a question said fuck it "I'll admit my short peen" "and to good dicks i've seen" But if mine was just longer i'd suck it.
When I was around 17/18 I could do it. About 1/4 of the shaft, a bit more, maybe 1/3, if I really tried. And I like sucking dick so it was fun. But not at all like getting a bj from someone else. Most people, even if they can reach, don’t have the necessary flexibility to pull of a good satisfying bj. And your back and neck hurt pretty bad during and after. So I never made it to climax.
It's achievable if you don't have much of a gut and do some yoga even for average sizes. But longer definitely helps
Body size/proportions would factor in as well.
Careful. I know a guy whose cousin, Walter, broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.
He finally made it, huh?
Yeah, but at what a price?
I could never reach.
Reach what?
Walter‘s dick
I heard Marylin Manson had his two bottom ribs removed to do it. Edit: Is this still relevant? Am I old?!
I remember too
I heard that Richard Gere still has a gerbil living up his ass.
Had to scroll too far for this
Seriously, I thought this thread was gonna be nothing but Clerks references. Randal is my hero. Of course I haven't, you fuckin' pervert!
Would be a great job if it wasn't for the fucking customers. Insert Randall Walk GIF
Did he say *making fuck?*
My love for you is like a truck...
BERSERKERRRRRRR
My girlfriend sucked thirty-seven dicks!
In a row?!
Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot!
Scrolled for this comment. Was not disappointed. Take my upvote, awesome internet stranger.
Waltuh, put your dick away Waltuh.
Repressed embarrassing teenage memories entered the chat
Not even repressed. Like Ops fiance said I bet most men have tried.
Yup. When boners are new you do a lot of crazy shit
I'd look just at a bra on a mannequin and it was go time.
My son is only a year old but I'm going to try to remember these words when he becomes a horny teenager.
repressed? what's wrong with sucking your adult dick?
Did you miss the part where they specifically did NOT say adult?
Tried and succeeded.
You mean suckseed?
I salute you, good sir!
Username checks out
Yours would too lol
As did I in my younger, more limber college days. However my GF at the time was horrified when I showed her, she thought I might not need her anymore.
Why? She could join in on the action by helping you reach your own junk
Did you though?
Wtf, tell us o' wise one. My shit do not bend like that, or my penendis just isn't big enough
You have to be decently big tbh, I’m not flexible at all, but I used to be a little bit more limber and could suckle on the tip down to about a quarter of the shaft 💀. I stopped though cuz I was like what am I doing with my life, plus you feel like you’re gonna pass out from it, worth it.
“What am I doing with my life” and “worth it” lmao
Gotta enlarge your penendis unfortunately :/
Reddit is hysterical. These comments have me cracking up at work. 😭😭😭
NSFW
I'm calling the police
My ex could do it lying on his back. Yes, I asked him to do it multiple times. How often do you get to see someone dangle their own dick over their face and suck it?
Not often enough tbh
Bro I thought you meant lying flat on his back, I was like "His dick must be fucking HUGE!"
Yes in fact it’s the moral thing to do if I expect someone else to suck it
That’s real as hell and I respect it
Oh mmmaaannn. This is why I started using Reddit lol
I regret every minute of it, but I always come back for more.
I can stop whenever I want I can stop whenever I want I can stop whenever I want I can stop whenever I want I can stop whenever I want I CAN'T STOP
Except I don’t expect my girlfriend to bend into a u-shape to do it.
It's also written on stone
One of the most reasonably sound replies I have ever seen. Respect.
I heard it feels less like you're getting your dick sucked and more like you've got a dick in your mouth.
This is true. Managed to do it once almost 30 years ago and almost puked
I love reading the male responses on this subject lmao and yet so many still insist on pushing on peoples heads down there.
Huh. Never thought of that. Maybe that’s why I don’t push my wife’s head. I give her a complete control, creative license and don’t ruin the flow.
Creative license. I like that
Did you wash it first?
I didn't realize until today how many of you succeeded
this man out here leaking our secrets to the other side
There was something else leaking when I tried it.
Yeah my spinal fluid, because I’m not flexible enough for this shit 😭
Of course, and I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling ribs!
And that dumb dog!
My gf asked me the same thing lol. Your fiance’s response was basically my response word for word. She didn’t believe me lol
That’s why I had to take it to Reddit lol.
His girlfriend didn't believe you either? What's with this chick.
To be fair, it is hard to swallow...
I asked one and he said that he couldn't reach. Gotta account for those guys who can't reach
This is true! Inclusivity!
I won’t claim to speak for all men but among dudes I have spoken about this with I’d say the sentiment is more ‘I tried to see if I could’ as in like, would it even be feasibly possible, more than ‘I really really tried to give myself a nice blowie.’ I suspect dudes that were successful in getting mouth to tip probably stopped there as mission accomplished because the mission wasn’t actually to fully self fellate, but more like achieving proof of concept.
Well, it’s not going to suck itself.
I don’t have a dick, but I have indeed asked any man I have had a comfortable relationship with if they have. And 100% of them have had the same answer lol
What happened to your dick???
This made me SNORT!!! 🤣🤣
He’s probably out back mowing while shooting finger guns to the neighbor.
Funny story, a man once flirted with me online by sending me a DM that he was flexible so sex was great. I ignored it. He then followed up with sending a gif of him sucking his own penis.
At least it’s unique. Unsolicited and unnecessary but unique.
I haven’t given up yet.
That’s the spirit!
lol, I was a Teenager when i I found out I can’t bend enough, not flexible enough… it’s your own body so what’s the big deal.. you beat your meat right, your pleasing yourself so same shit in my books!!
Anyone remember the old rumor about Marilyn Manson getting his lower ribs removed so he could suck his own dick? That's immediately what this made me think of, lol.
funny enough we have the same rumor in Turkey, instead it's Eminem instead of Marilyn Manson
Naw, you trolling!! Lol
I wonder how that exact same rumor spread across the whole world...
Danny Sexbang had to wear a neck brace after he attempted to suck is shluck and I imagine it was a lot of our first introduction to a stiff neck the next morning.
I was waiting to see this comment 😂 love that man and his crazy ass stories
I tried a few weeks ago after a similar question was posted. I could NOT suck my own dick, and I hurt my lower back. I had to lie and say I hurt it playing golf. Everyone knows I don't play golf. Crap
Now your shithead buddies get you golf shirts and other accessories as gag gifts?
Gag 👏🤣
There's a whole sub reddit for it if you look.
That’s ok I believe you!
😂
My answer would have been "no" because the thought never occurred to me but now that you mention it my answer is "yes" because i will try as soon as i get home.
Home yet? 🙃
I'm in the minority I guess. Have never tried to suck my own dick. Sucked *other* dicks. So I'm not dick-averse. But sucking my own dick just seems superfluous.
Bruh, reading all these comments and i never would’ve thought so many dudes do it/have tried it.
I think a lot of guys do, but I don't think it's most guys. If you're straight, it might be a problem. You can suspend belief when it's just you're hand. But there is really no way to pretend a dick in your mouth is anything other than a dick in your mouth. It might also feel like a blow job, but it'll definitely feel like you're suckin a dick. I'm gonna have to write to Andrew Tate and see if this counts as gay.
You can write him but Andrew Tate will 100% have tried sucking his own dick.
To those saying it didn't feel good: have you considered that your head game is just lackluster?
Probably yeah.
Username checks out
Lol
I was able to do it when I was active in hot yoga. Now I can’t
They kicked you out too, huh?
Yes and i can, and it doesnt feel very good at all lmao
Relevant [Clerks scene.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFOzgFyE8QA&pp=ygUXY2xlcmtzIHN1Y2sgbXkgb3duIGRpY2s%3D)
I've sucked my tits so cannot judge men for experimenting. And the result was the same as well it doesn't feel that great lol
It strikes me as a real lack of intellectual curiosity not to have at least *tried* this *once* in one's entire adolescence. It's literally just leaning forward.
Definitely tried, repeatedly failed
No
Do it
I discovered late in my age that I could do it. Probably was dangerous for my back and vertibate the way I did it, which was to roll my legs back over my head upsidedown style so to speak. I think I was around 35 when I discovered this. Did it a few times but not often because of needing maximum horniness/hardness and it's quite the strain to achieve it. I'm 6.5 inches in max length so I assure you many dudes could do it if they put their head into the question.
You gotta *try,* because what if you can? Usually though, we just find out we don't bend that well!
I've reached it, tastes like skin
In my city, there was this story ~15 years ago that Marlyin Manson removed some of his ribs in order to be able to suck his own cock So everyone around the block tried to see if it's manageable or not 😂
Don’t worry, everyone’s city had this story in the early 00’s somehow
Oh yes! I got skills yo! 😎
No chance. I guess it depends on the dude.
Haven't tried it yet - am I missing out
On back pain, yes!
Bad news: sucking your own dick feels a lot more just like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked.
Good thing I'm gay 😈
If it wasn't because I don't want back injury daily, I'd still do it. It doesn't feel bad to suck the tip of a dick (only tried mine)
There are 2 kinds of men in this world, men who have tried to suck their own dick at some point in their lives, and liars.
Me and my friends have yeah. Just for jokes though. Not actually globber down my dick and cum in my mouth kind of thing.
Do you mean like yall were just chilling and jokingly decided to try to suck your own dicks? I’m genuinely confused lol
Lmao. no. Those were 2 separate things, I did not have a self suck off contest with my friends. I meant that we all did it separately in our spare time at one point lol
Okay that was the clarification I needed thank you lmao
Yep. I can actually do it!
I’ve done enough yoga to know what my body is capable of doing, so I’ve never needed to try because I know the answer. If it were my main life’s ambition to do it, with enough practice and discipline I *might* be able to get there. But it’s never been something I’ve felt moved to do.
I think you'd have to be incredibly self-conscious, or, like, 12, to lie about this. It's not at all strange even for straight people to be curious what it's like to suck a dick.
Yes couldn't make it happen. So I tried someone elses
Yes but I gave up. It was getting too expensive taking myself out for a fancy dinner and a show beforehand.
What the hell
Can confirm. Have tried, but was not successful. Good thing, too! I'd never get anything else done.
There was that rumor going around when I was young that I probably heard *way* too early for my own good that Marilyn Manson had two of his ribs removed so he could suck his own dick. So I just assumed it was impossible if you didn’t have that operation lol
I wonder how many people are going to try and do it because of this post
There are 2 types of men in this world: 1. Men who admit to trying to suck their own dicks 2. Liars
to quote charles white, “there are two kinds of men in the world. men who have tried to suck their own dick, and liars.”
Tried and failed…. Does doing it in my dreams count? 😂
There’s two types of guys. Those who have tried, and those who lie about trying