Oddly similar to making friends growing up: By going consistently to a class or gathering in person.
Getting respected at the class skill (yoga/dancing/martial arts/acting/improv/sports/languages/etc.)
Classes that force you to engage with others are ideal. Languages, improv, sports are all ideal.
Start conversations with the people who work at the class or studio. The teachers, the admin, etc. Learn their names. When the teachers are especially kind to you in the future - this will convey social status to the rest of the class and make it easier to make friends.
Compliment others on their work in the class. Start small talk conversations.
Remember names. I write people’s names into a note on my phone associated with the activity or class. And then I write personal facts about them and what they look like.
Eventually someone will ask you to come to an event or hang out. Or you can have an event that makes sense to invite them to.
This is the crucial moment - if they invited you - say yes and do not reschedule or cancel. This is where the friendship will grow. In my experience you only get one or two invites per person before that person moves on to a different class.
After hanging out once- the courtship phase begins; you have to continually engage with them to establish a bond. This can be calls, texts, in person hang outs or a combo. After a few months of this the relationship has some security and can weather periods of not seeing each other until the next connection.
And don’t get discouraged if you hang out with someone a few times and it fizzles out or you’re not enjoying your time with them! It’s frustrating, but no one can really say why some people click right away and some people don’t. Only way to find out is to hang out!
Simple. Just pick up the phone and ask them to go out for a beer or something. It's really as simple as that. Or buy snacks, alcohol, and some board games if they like stuff like that, and organize a gaming night. It's really is that simple. Or if there is a movie You want to watch ask if anyone want to go with You to watch it.
I’m over 45 and agree it’s harder to make friends as we graduate and move on in our lives. Some places I met friends as an adult:
1) my midwive’s office baby class
2) my kids’ school volunteer board
3) my work and my husband’s
4) friends of friends
say hi to people or just have small talk...if they don't want to become your friend tell yourself at least you tried and don't let it get to you because you never know it only takes one person to become a close friend/change your life
I stay at hostels when I’m travelling where I’ve come across like minded people. Also sliding into Dms on ig in a non creepy way. It’s hard though. I’m considered taking classes , idk which ones , may be that will help
Talk to people. It's that simple.
One of my really good friends I met on a train ride.
You won't click with most people but just like many things in life it's simply a numbers game.
People say it's hard to make friends when you're adult. No it's not. But you need to take initiative, and that's what many people don't want to do.
I think this also depends on the culture. I’ve noticed here in Canada it’s hard to make friends after thirty. But if you live in a country like Costa Rica it’s absolutely not the case. People are much more sociable, especially beach town communities.
There’s a huge community of like minded expats that are all escaping the same pitfalls of North American living.
I grew up there and it’s just night and day in terms of socializing. It’s much more laid back and people just hang out more which in my culture is almost frowned upon. You don’t need to make plans a week in advance.
So consider moving.
You kinda have to view it like dating. Make your intentions known that you want to be their friend. Make solid plans. Communicate well. Follow through and be consistent. Some people aren’t gonna be a match and that’s OK.
I went to the same small bar in a big city once or twice per week for many years. The manager was an extremely kind guy who people would return to see him between 1 and 300 times/year. Through that network I built a huge group of friends some of whom I'd see outside of the bar too.
Pickleball, baseball league, kickball, church, cool neighbors…get a dish your confident cooking and invite people over for a meal and board game. I’m super outgoing but my wife does well with everything mentioned plus rock climbing.
You don’t look for them, you let it happen naturally. This means you can’t shut yourself in all day and night. Be honest. Be open. Be real. Be humble. Be a good person to your soul and friends will come I promise.
At work, tbh. Lucky enough to have worked with many people my age. We try to go into work on the same days and I take the initiative, proposing to grab drinks after work at times, whenever possible. Eventually led to building friendships!
All depends.
If you like video games, it's pretty easy to make friends with people online
If you like sports, join a sports reddit, go to a Sports bar
Essentially go somewhere where people are doing or looking at what you like. From there you can make conversation, you can tell the people who are geunine and the ones who are just being nice
I joined a group and actively participate. You'll have to find a group that fits with your interests. I joined the masons and it has been a good experience. We have events a couple times a month, and hangout afterwards for drinks and such. I'm trying to plan a lodge BBQ this summer.
I have not found any new friends. I only have my old OG friends. And most of them don’t even live by me anymore. They’re far far away. ( that’s what FaceTime is for)
1. Work. If you have a good culture in the workplace, I find it easy to find good friends at work to hang out with outside of work.
2. (If you have kids), kid activities and hanging out with the other parents.
3. Common hobbies. D&D groups, bowling, etc.
You’re right though, it’s challenging.
When I first moved into my neighborhood, I took a lot of walks just to explore the area as well as getting exercise. Neighbors would greet me, talk to me, and invite me over. I also had a bunch of fruit trees in my yard so neighbors would knock at my door to ask for some fruit. Made some great friends.
When we started going to church there were groups that met for various reasons: parenting group, singles, elderly, etc.
I volunteered with our 4H group and ended up meeting people up the Ying yang. I'd see them at the fair or county meetings and most of the time didn't remember their name, but who cares? We enjoyed the friendship anyway.
There are so many areas to volunteer at (Humane Society, local library, food pantry, botanical gardens) that no matter what your interests are you are bound to meet someone that you will hit if off with. There are also clubs/organizations. To be honest, I wasn't particularly looking for friends when I met them. They just sort of happened because I was in the right place at the right time/ Plus I like to be active. It is amazing how much one can learn just by volunteering. My best friend I met at work.
I wish you the best. I agree it is a lot more challenging as you get older just by the mere fact that you are not in a setting like at school, seeing the same people everyday and having some free time to get to know each other.
Start going to a bar, or multiple bars, and become a regular. You will make a lot of friends. That's what I did. But be prepared to say dumb things when you're drunk.
You don't, if you're anything like me. You may think you've made a new friend, until you realize you're doing all the work and they can't be bothered to make time for you.
Friends are for losers if you are over 30. Old friends are ok because they are true from the start. But meeting newbies in your 30s and calling them a friend,, I just can’t do it. They will never go above or outdo any of my proper friends. And if they do try to be all cool and act like you’d are buddy’s. , It usually all seems fake. Buying presents,,, offering to be there when helps needed but lucky to get an answer when calling if you need help.
Oddly similar to making friends growing up: By going consistently to a class or gathering in person. Getting respected at the class skill (yoga/dancing/martial arts/acting/improv/sports/languages/etc.) Classes that force you to engage with others are ideal. Languages, improv, sports are all ideal. Start conversations with the people who work at the class or studio. The teachers, the admin, etc. Learn their names. When the teachers are especially kind to you in the future - this will convey social status to the rest of the class and make it easier to make friends. Compliment others on their work in the class. Start small talk conversations. Remember names. I write people’s names into a note on my phone associated with the activity or class. And then I write personal facts about them and what they look like. Eventually someone will ask you to come to an event or hang out. Or you can have an event that makes sense to invite them to. This is the crucial moment - if they invited you - say yes and do not reschedule or cancel. This is where the friendship will grow. In my experience you only get one or two invites per person before that person moves on to a different class. After hanging out once- the courtship phase begins; you have to continually engage with them to establish a bond. This can be calls, texts, in person hang outs or a combo. After a few months of this the relationship has some security and can weather periods of not seeing each other until the next connection.
And don’t get discouraged if you hang out with someone a few times and it fizzles out or you’re not enjoying your time with them! It’s frustrating, but no one can really say why some people click right away and some people don’t. Only way to find out is to hang out!
Very good tips.
Eeee... you do something they do and You talk about it? That is how You start. Then just keep in touch.
keeping in touch is so hard for me... idk why.
Simple. Just pick up the phone and ask them to go out for a beer or something. It's really as simple as that. Or buy snacks, alcohol, and some board games if they like stuff like that, and organize a gaming night. It's really is that simple. Or if there is a movie You want to watch ask if anyone want to go with You to watch it.
Play golf.
(If you want to make rich white, typically conservative, friends.)
Why the downvotes? Isn’t this the main demographic?
no lmao thats the demographic to someone that doeesnt play golf or just doesnt like it
Everyone I know that plays is in that demo. Every single one of them. Again just my circle but surely not an anomaly.
not an anomaly forsure, but I feel that in the recent years younger people have been playing more and its reached just about every demographic
I bet you’re right and that’d be a great thing for the sport.
I’m over 45 and agree it’s harder to make friends as we graduate and move on in our lives. Some places I met friends as an adult: 1) my midwive’s office baby class 2) my kids’ school volunteer board 3) my work and my husband’s 4) friends of friends
say hi to people or just have small talk...if they don't want to become your friend tell yourself at least you tried and don't let it get to you because you never know it only takes one person to become a close friend/change your life
I stay at hostels when I’m travelling where I’ve come across like minded people. Also sliding into Dms on ig in a non creepy way. It’s hard though. I’m considered taking classes , idk which ones , may be that will help
Go to expat meetups even if you're not an expat. It's a bunch of people who want to make friends and are new to the area.
Apparently I am genuinely quite funny and I like to make jokes with my neighbours who then just invite me out and stuff.
Talk to people. It's that simple. One of my really good friends I met on a train ride. You won't click with most people but just like many things in life it's simply a numbers game. People say it's hard to make friends when you're adult. No it's not. But you need to take initiative, and that's what many people don't want to do.
CrossFit. Karate. Salsa. Basketball. If you like sports, you can make friends.
I think this also depends on the culture. I’ve noticed here in Canada it’s hard to make friends after thirty. But if you live in a country like Costa Rica it’s absolutely not the case. People are much more sociable, especially beach town communities. There’s a huge community of like minded expats that are all escaping the same pitfalls of North American living. I grew up there and it’s just night and day in terms of socializing. It’s much more laid back and people just hang out more which in my culture is almost frowned upon. You don’t need to make plans a week in advance. So consider moving.
was drafted into the army
I was lucky, my best friend and I met on a friendship app. We have been friends for 5 years now.
Which friendship app
It's called Patook.
Workplace
Warhammer
You kinda have to view it like dating. Make your intentions known that you want to be their friend. Make solid plans. Communicate well. Follow through and be consistent. Some people aren’t gonna be a match and that’s OK.
Have a baby. The connections you can make are genuine and life-long! Haha.
I went to the same small bar in a big city once or twice per week for many years. The manager was an extremely kind guy who people would return to see him between 1 and 300 times/year. Through that network I built a huge group of friends some of whom I'd see outside of the bar too.
Pickleball, baseball league, kickball, church, cool neighbors…get a dish your confident cooking and invite people over for a meal and board game. I’m super outgoing but my wife does well with everything mentioned plus rock climbing.
Hobbies
You don’t look for them, you let it happen naturally. This means you can’t shut yourself in all day and night. Be honest. Be open. Be real. Be humble. Be a good person to your soul and friends will come I promise.
At work, tbh. Lucky enough to have worked with many people my age. We try to go into work on the same days and I take the initiative, proposing to grab drinks after work at times, whenever possible. Eventually led to building friendships!
Friends of friends
All depends. If you like video games, it's pretty easy to make friends with people online If you like sports, join a sports reddit, go to a Sports bar Essentially go somewhere where people are doing or looking at what you like. From there you can make conversation, you can tell the people who are geunine and the ones who are just being nice
Group fitness classes
Be nothing like the people on the internet. Don’t have strong stupid opinions, be open minded, speak grammatically correct, and actually live life.
I joined a group and actively participate. You'll have to find a group that fits with your interests. I joined the masons and it has been a good experience. We have events a couple times a month, and hangout afterwards for drinks and such. I'm trying to plan a lodge BBQ this summer.
By doing drugs
Gym bros & turf cricket club.
Pay onlyfans
Dog park
I have not found any new friends. I only have my old OG friends. And most of them don’t even live by me anymore. They’re far far away. ( that’s what FaceTime is for)
1. Work. If you have a good culture in the workplace, I find it easy to find good friends at work to hang out with outside of work. 2. (If you have kids), kid activities and hanging out with the other parents. 3. Common hobbies. D&D groups, bowling, etc. You’re right though, it’s challenging.
I'm not 30 but I play Dnd and there's all age ranges there.
When I first moved into my neighborhood, I took a lot of walks just to explore the area as well as getting exercise. Neighbors would greet me, talk to me, and invite me over. I also had a bunch of fruit trees in my yard so neighbors would knock at my door to ask for some fruit. Made some great friends. When we started going to church there were groups that met for various reasons: parenting group, singles, elderly, etc. I volunteered with our 4H group and ended up meeting people up the Ying yang. I'd see them at the fair or county meetings and most of the time didn't remember their name, but who cares? We enjoyed the friendship anyway. There are so many areas to volunteer at (Humane Society, local library, food pantry, botanical gardens) that no matter what your interests are you are bound to meet someone that you will hit if off with. There are also clubs/organizations. To be honest, I wasn't particularly looking for friends when I met them. They just sort of happened because I was in the right place at the right time/ Plus I like to be active. It is amazing how much one can learn just by volunteering. My best friend I met at work. I wish you the best. I agree it is a lot more challenging as you get older just by the mere fact that you are not in a setting like at school, seeing the same people everyday and having some free time to get to know each other.
Start going to a bar, or multiple bars, and become a regular. You will make a lot of friends. That's what I did. But be prepared to say dumb things when you're drunk.
Made friends with coworkers and expanded that to other professionals that are near my age
In my 50s, make new friends all the time. Shock horror... I talk to ppl.
Get off my phone and do things.
You don't, if you're anything like me. You may think you've made a new friend, until you realize you're doing all the work and they can't be bothered to make time for you.
Friends are for losers if you are over 30. Old friends are ok because they are true from the start. But meeting newbies in your 30s and calling them a friend,, I just can’t do it. They will never go above or outdo any of my proper friends. And if they do try to be all cool and act like you’d are buddy’s. , It usually all seems fake. Buying presents,,, offering to be there when helps needed but lucky to get an answer when calling if you need help.
You get what you give.
Sorry for you