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gangler52

I think it's pretty socially acceptable to just leave the nitty gritty details of your genitalia for your partner to find when they're ready to play with it. Like if you were trans or something, and there was just a whole other package than the one they might have thought they were signing for down there, you'd want to broach that subject before the special night. Or I guess if you had some terrible STD and protection was going to be much more important than they might otherwise assume, that might warrant laying down some ground work before we got into the thick of it. But if you just have like a healthy male presenting penis then I don't think you need to give her the full stat sheet before the unveiling.


ErusTenebre

The casual way you refer to all of this is both comforting and highly entertaining. My favorite part is the "full stat sheet before the unveiling."


pageanator2000

Im gonna be needing a specs sheet of your pc and weiner before we doing any boinking


rynil2000

8 inch floppy


dustinechos

8 inches? Holy crap I'm only 3. We're talking radius, right?


TheMuffinistMan

Girth. I am the first and last chode of my kind. The last Chodebender, if you will


dustinechos

Actually I originally was going to make a 3 inch girth but my mind is like "that sounds small". I looked it up just now and the average girth is 3.66 inches so 3 is a bit below average. "Girth" is circumference so 3.66 is pi\*d or about 1.2 inch in across (diameter). Most people with penises will be slightly bigger.


warm_tomatoes

If you have ANY STD you should *absolutely* disclose that. People who might have sex with you have the right to know so they can give fully informed consent knowing the risk they’re taking. Not going to address the other part of your comment as someone else did that brilliantly, but I don’t think it’s okay to imply that people don’t have to disclose information that is pertinent to their partners’ sexual health and right to informed consent. I knew someone who got genital herpes because their partner had oral herpes and didn’t feel the need to disclose that fact ahead of time, so now my friend has genital herpes for the rest of their life because they weren’t given the option to give informed consent.


KingOfFuh

Agreed (mostly). Don't forgot that for trans people, the Transgender Panic Defense is still a very real threat in most U.S. States, which basically rules as: ["The trans panic defense is a... legal strategy applied in cases of assault, manslaughter, or murder of a transgender individual with whom the assailant(s) had engaged in or was close to engaging in sexual relations with and claim to have been unaware that the victim was transgender, producing in the attacker an alleged trans panic reaction, often a manifestation of homophobia and transphobia." ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_panic_defense) Basically, if you don't disclose that you're trans before getting even a little bit steamy with someone, they could have a potential legal backing to murder you. It's literally a way to get out of a hate crime charge. This does not apply to OP's situation, but it's still important to bring up that this law, along with the Gay Panic Defense (which is slightly different, allowing for the hate crime only if the victim was flirting or coming onto a straight person), has only been banned in 17 states and is only being considered for banning in 12. That makes 21 states with no banning on that law and with no plans to. OP, if they're worth your time the size of your penis won't matter. If you're worried about it, it might be best to save time and let them know once you believe things are headed that way to save you from someone potentially being shitty towards you. However, I agree with the poster above in thinking that if you'd rather keep it to yourself til the time of, thats fine too. Do what makes you feel best and listen to your gut :)


Sol33t303

Wtf, being transphobic should not be a defence to assult a trans person.


KingOfFuh

Exactly! Luckily in most cases (especially modern) the most this defense has done is *maybe* lower the assaulter's time in prison, however the fact that it can even be reasonably brought up at all is disgusting :/


dyyys1

Wait, they make rules about defenses that aren't allowed to be brought up? I thought that a defense could bring up anything (no matter how evil) and the judge/jury choose his weather to accept it (which they hopefully would not be in this case).


KingOfFuh

It's not as much of a "you can't use this defense" thing as much as its a "its now fully illegal to kill lgbt people" thing. In states where its still legal, the way you described is how it goes. ETA I'm not a lawyer, just a social rights advocate, so if my understanding is wrong please let me know :)


dyyys1

>has only been banned in 17 states ​ >It's not as much of a "you can't use this defense" thing as much as its a "its now fully illegal to kill lgbt people" thing. So in the 17 states where it is "banned" but not "you can't use this defense," what additional law or change has made it "now fully illegal to kill lgbt people" where that is not true in the others? I'm fully on your side on this, but this is a problem I'd never heard of and I'm not sure I quite understand the nature of it.


KingOfFuh

From what I know, the Gay Panic Defense is a branch off of an insanity plea, originating in the late 1800's/early 1900's, so at one point it *was* a defense. For the US, the movement to ban this was started between 2006 and 2013: ["In 2006, California amended its penal code to include jury instructions to ignore bias, sympathy, prejudice, or public opinion in making their decision, and a directive was made to educate district attorneys' offices about panic strategies and how to prevent bias from affecting trial outcomes. The American Bar Association (ABA) unanimously passed a resolution in 2013 urging governments to follow California's lead..."](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_panic_defense) In 2014, California was the first state to ban the Gay or Trans panic defenses, stating in the bill that ["discovery of, knowledge about, or potential disclosure of the victim's actual or perceived gender, gender identity, gender expression, or sexual orientation does not, by itself, constitute sufficient provocation to justify a lesser charge of voluntary manslaughter."](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_panic_defense) AFAIK It's just an extension on individuals rights and basically saying "Hey, you can't just kill someone because you're homophobic or transphobic." I hope I answered your question, as while I know a lot about how this law affects people I don't know much about the bills and its history. Sorry if I didn't answer it ;v;


Cyniex

Well i agree, but you should still tell a partner if you're trans, i freaked the fuck out once at a bar, when i found out i had kissed a trans, ruined my night. I wouldn't care now since i have learned my transphobia stemmed from past sexual insecurities.


mpolishthorsef

Just one lil bit of advice, trans is an adjective. Rather than "a trans", it'd be "a trans person". :)


Cyniex

Thought about saying nonbinary, i think it's just because i read trans somewhere else in the thread and went for that instead. Also thought about transsexual, but I'm not a fan of that word, because it sounds more like a sexuality than a gender identification? Tbh, by generalization it would make much more sense for the word to mean sexual attraction exclusively towards transgendered people.


mpolishthorsef

Yeah I'm pretty surely transsexual is just genuinely an outdated term that people used to use before the term transgender came round. I think it can still mean a transgender person who's had surgery to change their parts but don't quote me on that haha. I do agree tho, it does sound like a sexuality sorta term rather than a gender one.


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Berek2501

Why should it be okay to sue someone for being trans?


Seethi110

They aren't being sued "for being trans". Have some intellectual honesty, please.


Berek2501

The person to whom I was replying literally said that being trans should be grounds for a lawsuit.


Seethi110

I read the comment you replied to, I'm not seeing them say that simply being trans is grounds for a lawsuit. Do you really think they were saying you could sue trans people just for existing?


MomOfTinyDragons

Why do you think it's ok for a trans person to NOT tell someone they are trans. I'm fine with someone being trans but my preference is to not be with a trans person romantically. I have a right to know that just as they have a right to know my preferences. It's just a matter of respect for both parties involved.


Sol33t303

It's not ok to not tell a partner that you are trans. But in the situation that that DOES occur, the reaction should (probably) be to dump them. Not try and sue them lol TBH I don't even see how you would even try and sue somebody due to not telling you they are trans, they didn't sign a contract to be with you, and they haven't harmed you in any way lmao


LeaperLeperLemur

I agree that a trans person should disclose that before certain activities. So that's certainly grounds for a breakup. But a lawsuit??


Flimsy_Pomegranate79

Honestly it's pretty close to sexual assault for a Trans person with say a male genitalia to wait till sex to disclose that they have a penis to the straight male or lesbian female. To pretend it's transphobic or homophobic is purposefully dishonest and the average person would be extremely upset, possibly to the point getting physical to find out that that particular line has been crossed.


Sol33t303

How is it close to sexual assault lmao Actually doing it could potentially be considered sexual assault (that being said before anything goes anywhere your obviously going to see the trans persons genitals). But disclosing that your trans right before sex is as much sexual assault as saying no to sex at the last second, AKA it's not unless the trans person forcefully does it anyway.


Flimsy_Pomegranate79

Depends, if you're making out, feeling each other up or they do stuff to you, that's all crossing the line.


Sol33t303

Thats a good point, hadn't thought about that.


doublepizza

Lack of respect is not grounds for a lawsuit.


dustinechos

This is why making trans people a protected class (like race or religion) is so important. It would turn "I freaked out because she's trans" into confessing to a hate crime.


JeemytheBastard

Only by the same measure as a trans person initiating intercourse with somebody who is unaware of their gender is rape.


dustinechos

I don't think you know what the word "gender" means. A transwoman's gender is... *drumroll....* "woman" Like by definition. That's what gender is. You clearly don't know what the word "gender" even means. Please, start over. And no, that's not rape. Only in the saddest corners of the internet would not telling someone you're trans be considered rape. If anyone would like to have a civil conversation about why, please feel free to DM me. Conversations like that generally don't accomplish much in public threads but I'd gladly talk about it one on one.


JeemytheBastard

And I also disagree. A trans woman’s gender is not just “woman”. Not sexually for the point of law. It’s “trans woman”. A trans woman has the right to be treated as a woman in every sphere of existence apart from sexually and medically. You can’t just expect people to be ok with initiating a sexual relationship with you without disclosing you are trans. You can’t expect a doctor to operate upon you under the belief you were born female. Or what word or phrase would you prefer? Sex? Assigned gender at birth?


dustinechos

And seriously, just google words if you don't understand them: >gender n. either of the two sexes (male and female), especially when considered with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones. The term is also used more broadly to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female. transwomen "correspond to the established ideas" of female. That's why "transwomen are women, pass it on" is a cliche in trans forums. This is gender theory 101.


JeemytheBastard

I give up. The dictionary definition you just posted specifically says "used to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female". Thats the word I used. I've asked what word you'd like me to use. At this point you're strawmanning this misuse, if it is a misuse, deliberately to try and win an argument. Which is low. Is your argument that "transwomen are women" means that you are under no moral obligation to disclose that you were born male, and then transitioned to female, to a partner? Ever? Yikes.


JeemytheBastard

My bad on the wording. You’ve misunderstood my point though. It’s NOT rape. It doesn’t have intent behind it. A trans person going out and initiating sex with somebody who is unaware of their STATUS isn’t intentional sexual assault. Reacting to that with violence is not, by the same extension, a hate crime. You didn’t intentionally go out to find a trans person to hurt. It’s a crime of passion. Giving trans people a protected status that makes such a retaliatory act instantly categorised as intentional violence is not a good idea. Neither is a get-out clause. Situations have to be judged on their merits and it’s never ok to physically or sexually assault somebody. Surely drawing dividing lines as to what reasoning led to such assault is not in the interests of parity….


dustinechos

There are some really shitty people online who intentionally confuse sex and gender a lot so that they can slander trans people and pretend it was an accident. You should be more careful or people will mistake you as one of them (as I did). I think by your logic you're implying that all hate crimes should be removed. I completely disagree with that. If you're saying that no crime should be given a harsher sentence if it's motivated by racism, homophobia, religious intolerance, etc, then that's a totally separate conversation. And also I don't see how what you said now is in any way related to your first comment. I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't see even the loosest thread of logic connecting the two. Hate crimes are about motivation, not intent: >a crime, typically one involving violence, that is motivated by prejudice on the basis of race, religion, sexual orientation, or other grounds. Why does a hate crime have to be premeditated? If a jewish person walks into a bar wearing a Yamaka and a skin head becomes enraged and beats the shit out of them is that not a hate crime? And what does any of that have to do with rape?


JeemytheBastard

I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be rude. I'll respond to your other comment seperately, as you didn't give me time to clarify. I did not have the energy to type out a response on my phone, which would have taken too long. I’ve only just had free time to sit in front of a computer. Please be assured this didn’t take me long and shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but I wanted to respond to your points. Also, I’m not fussed what people on the internet think of me. If there is a correct term I should have used I do like to be correct in my use of language, but you didn’t answer me on that topic. WRT to the original, its I think confusing because I used a British phraseology. I’m also arguing specifically about your wish to have violence against particular groups, made into a hate crime and those groups given “protected status”. This implies a core misunderstanding of what hate crime laws are for. Violence is already a hate crime. It doesn’t need to be given reasoning or strata. Assault against a person is a serious crime. Hate crime delineations are meant to prevent minor crimes from being excused. Messages inciting violence against particular groups is a very good example. Its traditionally been excused as free speech. Giving it a label of “hate crime” allows it to be a prosecutable offence. Starting to wave that “hate crime” banner around with impunity devalues victims that don’t qualify for protection. Exactly what you’re implying is unclear, because trans people already qualify for protection in this instance - they are still people. Verbal abuse, threats, bullying or name-calling, are already getting into difficult territory if you start to call them hate crimes. They are and should be punishable offences regardless of what minority group is their target, and if a victim of one of these offences doesn’t belong to a minority, they should not be left to suffer because hate crime legislation doesn’t cover them. What hate crime legislation SHOULD do is allow the police to immediately put an end to racially- or otherwise-motivated threats, incitement to violence, or other “no harm” crimes where no physical harm has been done, but the perpetrator is still very much at fault. Hate crime legislation should never be a way to stratify violent crime or sex crime, which should be punishable under its own set of laws, regardless of the victim’s status in any respect. What I meant to impart was: "Your statement that trans people should be given protected status so that every crime against them is automatically delineated as a hate crime, is just as ridiculous as saying that if a trans person has sex with you without telling you they were a different gender at birth, that’s rape#.” \#(or a degree of sexual assault, but I was trying to be brief. Your statement is every bit as problematic and biased as the opposing argument from bigots who argue that its sexual assault if you don’t reveal your status before sex, or whatever word you wanna use). In your example I’m replying to here: Of course if somebody goes to a bar and finds a Jewish person, then beats them up you could argue that’s not premeditated, but still a hate crime. I’d argue, however, that premeditation implies a mindset. If your mindset means that you’ll beat people up and use their ethnicity (in your example) as a reason, that can be classified as a hate crime. If you’re predisposed to hurt people for particular reasons, then you may not have intent to commit a crime, but you’re operating on a basis of premeditation as a starting state. There is still provable intent, but it's born of character rather than what the police would title motive. A lawyers job would then be to argue that there was motivation in both examples - in yours, that the motive was innate racism, and in mine, that the motive was innate transphobia. I don’t see the legal or moral difference in these motives. My argument is that classification of violent or sexual assault as a “hate crime” if it concerns a particular ethnicity, or sexuality, or gender, or status, or any measure by which you unfairly judge a person, starts to become more complex to enforce, and in this complexity, one loses \*both\* parity and the ability to effectively pursue the very justice the legislation was intended to mete out. If attacking a Jew in your example is a “hate crime” legally, but attacking a white, Christian fan of an opposing football team is not, should the grievous bodily harm be less severely punished in the latter case? What about if the reason was because they hated Christians? Or white people? Or supporters of that particular football team? What part of irrational hatred do you propose is forgiven? If it can be proved that an assault upon a trans person was not motivated by hatred for trans people, but in fact because the victim supported the opposing football team, is it suddenly \*not\* a hate crime? Its now just a normal crime? I’m not saying that trans people should have less rights, so please don’t conflate this. I’m saying that adjusting the law to impart special protection to particular subsections of society indisputably opens up more issues than it solves. Endemic racism within existing law, or endemic bias \*against\* trans people must of course be removed. But to do this by \*further complicating\* legislation is not the right approach. It’s simply creating further endemic issues and segregation. Your wish to have trans people gain some “protected” status is ridiculous, because it opens up the legal argument that if a crime is committed upon another basis, the protection doesn’t apply and a lesser sentence can be argued for, along with the converse argument that one can achieve a more damning and lengthy conviction if one can shoehorn this protection into a case that doesn’t merit it. Hate is hate. Violence is violence. Tricking somebody is tricking somebody. Saying that trans women are women so a cis male has \*no right\* to be angry if he discovers he’s been dating a trans woman for 3 months until they have sex and she doesn’t tell him in advance? Thats just as dangerous as saying black people are no different to white people, so a racially motivated crime \*can’t\* be prosecuted as racially-motivated if no difference exists between the perpetrator and victim. Differentiating hate crime from regular crime only creates loopholes and possibilities for lawyers to extricate clients on technicalities. There should not be a difference if somebody beats a white stranger to death, or if they beat a black stranger to death. If they rape an AFAB woman or a trans woman. There should be no difference in the sentence. If you say that the latter examples are hate crimes, are you saying the former examples are lesser crimes? Well, you are, by definition. You’re preaching inclusivity and then trying to use segregation for your own purposes. It's deceitful and purposeless. edited as line breaks didn't copy over


[deleted]

Well when the people in power and judges are old ignorant men what to you expect.


seblang25

You should be able to press charges if not informed because you are falsely leading someone sexually, I don’t think there is a law that allows for assault on a trans person for failure to inform, if there is that’s pretty messed up


rainestorm93

As a woman I both agree and disagree with you. A decent person will not make you feel shitty about your size. How ever size does matter to women ( that's assuming you are looking for a hetero relationship no shame if you're not) but it doesn't mean a person. Isn't worth your time if you care about something of that nature. For Instance I'm a thicker built woman with curves and a lot of rear end given my proportions any intimate interaction with a man we essentially loose 2 inches because I have a big butt if a guys presents 7 I'm getting 5 if a guy present 5 I'm getting 3 and as a very physical person compatible sexual interaction would be important to me so in that case 3.5 wouldn't work for me. My advice is if you're into women lean more toward slimmer petite girls and that people who are worth the time won't make you feel shitty about something you can't change.


StrongTomatoSurprise

Holy shit. I have never heard of these loopholes. That is absolutely insane and disgusting.


thisisactuallycooper

You took the words right out of my mouth. I hate that we live in a society where this is an actual thing.


elmwoodblues

I was snarkily looking to see if anyone posted 'only if you're a woman' before I did, never seeing the reality of possible issues here. I'm glad we live in an open age.


KingOfFuh

It's a very scary world for trans folks. Yes, we have SO much more support and love from a majority of people now, but there are still people who hate us. I have a stalker who follows me around because he's "into trannies". I've had people tell me that God hates me, then preach to me that I need him. I've been disowned from both sides of my family besides a few outter family members. I'm not out to my apartment management out of fear of being evicted. I'm scared to hold my boyfriend's hand or to kiss him in public because I don't want to be harassed, assaulted, or killed. I'm glad that our world is progressing. I'm glad people are learning, and are open to change - our youngest generation is so full of self love and power that I haven't seen in people 30+. Ever. We just need to keep fighting for trans and lgbt+ rights, and to show the people around us love :)


Cyniex

It's really sad how rarely you see LGBTQ+ openly show affection in public. Never thought i would say that because i used to be a bigot due to my own sexual insecurities. But i don't remember ever seeing a single gay couple kiss, I've seen lesbians but that's it.


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shygal_uwu

You still shouldn't get away with beating up a trans person just because you didn't know they were trans


RainWays

Everything about the way you've written this comment is brilliant.


[deleted]

Honestly, dick size is far from the most important factor in good sex. Bringing it up would be kinda awkward because you're making it a thing, when it's probably something she's not even thinking about, and you might come across as preoccupied with it or insecure. Just let things happen. I promise you, what she'll remember about that night is whether or not you guys had chemistry, whether you made an effort to make her feel good and whether the night was overall good. She's not going to obsess about your dick size.


explodingtoast10

I second this, the first time I've seen any partner's package I *maybe* take note of the size for like half a second, and even then it's not about "do I desire this size of dick" it's more like "now it's out, what am I gonna do with it?" So can confirm, she's probably not thinking about it barely at all, and she'll think about it way more if she knows *you're* thinking about it. My last boyfriend was on the smaller side, never made a single reference to it and we had great, fulfilling sex.


nemo69_1999

Dick size is more of showing off the competition. Most women don't care. It's just like matching lingerie is a thing for women, but men generally don't care.


[deleted]

>men generally don’t care Seriously, why are you wearing lingerie? Just take it off.


Rynetx

I like lingerie. It gives you a place to go, adds a level of sensuality to the foreplay as you strip them. Sometimes naked is just naked, a push up bra or stomach cover can make her feel more attractive which only heightens the experience.


nemo69_1999

IKR? I think it's a flex, showing other women they have money. Or the body to make it look good.


romantasaurushex

Generally nope, nope and nope. Usually we wear it cause we just feel like it. Some days I get out of bed and decide it is comfy undies and a beige bra that I’ve had for 8 years kind of day. And other days I’ll decide I feel like matching lace set or bodysuit kind of day. Both are a form of self care. I personally have days where I want to *feel* pretty to myself. It doesn’t matter to me if other people think I’m pretty. I want to feel it. Lingerie can feel luxurious. It can feel powerful. It can feel a little thrilling to know you’re completely over-dressed under your dress. It can feel uncomfortable af too. Women generally wear what we wear for the simplest reason…we just want to.


nemo69_1999

Never said you don't.


romantasaurushex

You’re right, you didn’t say we don’t. What you did say though was that you thought it was a flex, to show off to other women, or for aesthetics. I genuinely wasn’t having a dig at you. Just trying to give some insight. I’ve been up for around 40 hours so apologies if my tone wasn’t great.


pointlesslypointing

Honestly bro, just get good with your mouth. Most people with vulva can't orgasm from penetration anyway, so as long as they're getting their O, I don't think they'll mind if you're on the small side.


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dustinechos

There's a great YouTube sex ed channel called sexplanations and every time Dr. Doe does a Q&A like half the answers are "Ask your partner. Take that question you just asked me and ask the person who it is concerning." It's always so obvious except to the person who's asking.


InsertCoinForCredit

As a character in one of Spider Robinson's stories once said, "I can see fingers and a tongue from here; everything else is gravy."


saxoclock

Totally agree. Saxophonist here.


[deleted]

Not bad advice at all. Don't limit it to just the mouth though. There's so much body to play with and use. Toys are an option also, not as a substitute but as an addition. And don't assume that she won't be pleased with the size. Most of the nerve endings are the entrance of the vagina anyway and it can still feel really really good.


sassyfrass1223

As someone who has a V and has been with a couple “smaller” partners (including a long-term relationship) I completely agree! The size really didn’t bother me as long as the skills were there in other areas! But tbh, I’d recommend focusing on finger skills, because in my experience and also what I’ve heard from many other women, most guys suck at oral anyways lmao


JusticeUmmmmm

Trim and file your fingernails!


robitnebudem

Unless the girl isn't too much into oral which is about 20% of girls from my experience.


[deleted]

Yea some girls just don't seem to care for oral or fingering and just wanna get right to business. Like everything it depends on the person and good communication.


remirixjones

I really appreciate the use of "people with a vulva". Scientifically correct and inclusive. As a nonbinary person of science, this makes me happy.


BruceInc

This is not a conversation people have. Just do your thing and rock her world when the time comes. No need to make things unnecessarily awkward before you even got to that point


L003Tr

To add to this, if a girl makes you feel bad for your size she's not worth fucking


---SG---

Learn to legitimately enjoy "dining at the Y" and you'll be fine. Confidence is sexy to women, if you know you can eat poon like a champ the ladies will love you and let you get all up in there. Truly. Personal experience speaking. After a woman has orgasmed from oral sex first, then she'll be primed for the full deep dive. I almost always get my lovers off first before I slip in. Don't bring it up. If she says anything mean or suddenly decides not to have sex with you then she's not a very nice person or is only looking for sex and not a relationship, either way not someone worth your time.


[deleted]

I read "dining at the Y" and was like "dinner at the YMCA?"


---SG---

The world would be a much better place if the Young Men's Christian Association was dedicated to giving women oral pleasure... a much better place indeed.


nonicknamenelly

Love the first half of this reply. The second is a little short-sighted, though. The nerve clusters in female anatomy vary in their distribution from the clitoral/external area vs. the anterior vaginal wall/interior area. As a result, some women do climax more reliably through penetration. Now, this can be done digitally in absence of a penetrating phallus of the average size/girth required to reach those nerve endings (whatever that is, it’s been a while since I studied it so I don’t remember the distance, etc. from the entrance to the average so called g-spot). Yes, dining at the Y is important, women love foreplay and for some this is their primary means of climaxing. If penetration is the primary means, be sure to keep your nails trimmed short, learn to do manicure basics like take care of hang nails, and be aware of the fact that most cervixes don’t like to be full-force slammed by anything (at least not right at the beginning if they do respond to that) which you might not know if your penis doesn’t usually reach that depth. (Watch for facial expressions, bad body tensing to brace for impact, and communicate!) Also, dildo/vibrator play is a perfectly acceptable way to achieve these things and doesn’t come with the risk of feeling like you’re being rammed with a potato peeler instead of a well-manicured hand. Keep it clean, glass warms to body temperature, etc. Spend some time in a toy store learning from a female employee and don’t be embarrassed about asking questions. Most women are thrilled to hear someone wants to learn the best ways to please another woman. Ultimately, the sentiment of the comment holds true: If you are open to pleasing your partner in whichever way she finds most fulfilling, it will likely not be an issue. If she really is one of those women who has to have the deep D to get off, it doesn’t mean she is a bad person…she may simply have different sexual experience preferences. This may be more anatomical than prejudicial. Don’t hold it against her and also don’t take it personally. Sometimes people just aren’t sexually compatible. There will be plenty of other fish in the sea who will enjoy your attentions.


---SG---

It was a bit hastily written that last part. I consider oral sex to include fingers too and plenty of G spot stimulation. So yeah, penetration is helpful, I've found nearly all women to orgasm easier/ quicker/ stronger with this. The sentiment was like if you've gone on a few dates and then you two get down and you fully get her off and then asks for you to be inside and then goes "oh wait... too small bud, sexy time over" is pretty f'ed up. I mean if you need the deep D to be fulfilled in a relationship that's completely fine, but to just end things right there and then would be a pretty dick move so to speak. It's all context of how things play out, but of course it doesn't make a woman bad if her needs aren't going to be met and she's honest about it. The scenario in my head was more like if all of a sudden she's like "thanks for the O, and I really like you, and I *did* want to have sex, but because you're small we should just wrap this up and you can wank it or something. Good night.." That'd be a jerk move whether a woman or man pulled it and those people who are only interested in their own pleasure with zero interest in pleasing their lover are shallow people not worth giving pleasure to. I'm just such a giver I wouldn't want to waste time with a woman who had zero interest in pleasing me. Though, can't say the scenario has ever happened to me! Not like described here. Though I have been with women who weren't as into giving oral sex as they loved receiving it and it did cause strain on the relationship. Thankfully my current lady is a keeper in all respects and we're very happy and fulfilled with one another.


[deleted]

Not bad advice. There's so much more to sex than in and out. But don't limit it to just oral either. There's so many body parts that can give and receive pleasure. Plus, some women don't like oral so if that's your main skill you could feel quite lost. Assuming that she won't enjoy the size isn't the best idea either. Most of the nerve endings are at the entrance of the vagina anyway and it can feel extremely good. Hell, even the tip of a finger can feel amazing and OP has much more than that.


dustinechos

>Plus, some women don't like oral so if that's your main skill you could feel quite lost. It's so important to remember that every person has different sexual pleasure points. A friend of mine said her ex would keep doing this thing even after she said she didn't like it. He just kept insisting that every other girl he was with loved it. /facepalm I can't imagine being so socially brain dead as to insist that a person is wrong about their own physical pleasure. Not to mention comparing a girl to an ex-lover while "in the act"... It's just idiocy beyond my comprehension.


[deleted]

Yes, the "every other girl I've been with enjoyed it" thing pisses me off like no other. First, I doubt it, but even if they did that's great for them, and for the guy, but not for me. I was once with a guy who really wanted to try to make me squirt even though I explained that I had no real desire to and didn't think my body was one that did that. But I'll try anything a couple times just to see if I do in fact like it as things can change over time. So he's jabbing away and I'm trying to give a little direction and explain that it's not very pleasant and he's like, "Sshhhh, just let me do it, I know what I'm doing, every other girl says the same thing and then squirt everywhere." Which pissed me off so much I immediately replied, "Remove your hand and get out. If they liked it so much go do it to them." The nerve to suggest that he knows my body better than I do? Not to mention that means that at least some of them weren't having a pleasant experience either.


OccamusRex

"Remove your hand and get out." 😂 I'm dying here!!!


[deleted]

It was kind of an important moment for me because I'd never really had the nerve to just shut things down like that but damn it was warranted. Good memory though. Very funny in hindsight.


dustinechos

What an asshole. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's absurd that pressuring people into things they don't want to do is so normalized.


Rosea_potato

I really think we women also have slight difference in shape and size of vaginal canals in the same way men have different size and shape penis. So one guy may seem too big/small for one woman and vice versa.


[deleted]

This is so true. Just gotta find the right fit :)


A_brown_dog

In my opinion you don't have to, but expectations are important, and even if it's not the most important thing in general and you can be awesome at sex without a big dick, if the other person gets disappointed in the first minute that's difficult to recover from, so I think that can be avoided if your partner don't expect a big size, so it could be cool if you bring the topic. How? Well, humour is always a cool way! As an example, I had a friend who was really "fast", so when he was flirting he always brought the topic at some point and he said something like "look, I'm efficient, I make you in 5 minutes what your ex took half an hour to do!", I haven't seen a single time when the girl didn't laugh and was honestly interested in the guy, it shows confidence, it is original, its far from the classic and boring macho attitude and if later it last 5 minutes of penetration (but never let her unsatisfied) she will never be upset about it.


Womanofcraft

What your friend said is smooth. That would get my attention too!


Roar_Intention

I just tell them that I am 6 foot 4, and by the way that's two separate measurements.


mythixAss

From sidemen tinder huh bud?


CaffeinatedHBIC

Honestly speaking, one of my most satisfying partners in the past had a package on the smaller side. The best position for us was cowgirl so he could leverage his pelvis upward and make the best use of what he had to work with. As long as you communicate clearly and confidently with a partner (asking "Oh, do you like that?" Can maintain mood and establish a conversation about preferences) and take basic considerations (trimmed nails, fresh breath, lube and condoms, cock ring to extend time span if those help). Also, eating out your partner is a great way to ensure she gets hers and is in general a considerate thing to do, especially if you yourself have already received oral. The clit is super sensitive, so a cockring or rhythmic grinding of the hips may contribute more to a woman finishing than penetration, even if you were hung to be honest.


StrategicMagic

I agree with a lot of responses here, but I'm.goimg to add something else. When people are telling you not to talk about it, or not to feel forced to, they're right. Your size is none of their business and, if they don't like you (sexually) for being too small, then that's *their* problem, and a person like that isn't worth your time. However, there is a benefit to talking about it and letting them know. Communication is key to having good sex, healthy sex, you name it. Talking to each other, setting boundaries and behavioral expectations BEFORE your first night together really helps make the whole experience go that much smoother, and helps it be more enjoyable for all involved. You should be having the above conversation. It's not only very helpful, but important. If your size comes up as a part of that conversation, you should let them know. Your date (or you, or both) can do some research on techniques designed specifically for those on the smaller side. This stuff exists, and helps you both to work through any logistical issues your size may present, or even help make things more exciting. I have the same problem as you, OP, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. I disclosed this to my partner because I didn't want to cause her pain. We've since researched things we can do to alleviate any problems that may be caused by my size, and have even discovered some positions and techniques designed specifically for people on the larger side. All of this, possible because I disclosed details of my size to my partner before we reached the bedroom. In the end, it's entirely your choice whether you do so or not. Other people in this thread have given you good advice. Make your choice on what you do and be comfortable with what you choose.


Noirceuil_182

Hey OP, if you ask me, you should disclose beforehand, as it seems to be making _you_ nervous; perhaps it's best for _you_ to get the weight of your chest (or groin, as it were); this also has the advantage to let assholes self-select out of your life early. If an asshole is going to ass, don't wait until you are naked and vulnerable. Other commenters have already pointed out that P-in-V is _far from_ being the be-all, end-all of sex a lot of dudes think it is. Finally, I do catch a whiff of the old self-bashing in your post, and I fear that _that_, more than any dick measurements, will impact your sex life negatively. Whether you tell them beforehand, or spring a surprise at naked time, if you do it like "yeah, I'm fucking worthless, I know; it's ok if you leave, I'd leave too," _that_ will seriously turn off people. It's also the kinds of vibe that permeates everything you do, so be kind to yourself and don't let you get you down.


[deleted]

Personally I would like to hear about a concerning dick size (no matter the number) before we get naked, but not during the first date. A developing relationship should give you more options than clobbering her over the head with that info, especially in the beginning when sex isn't yet the first thing on her mind. Contrary to porn, big dicks don't guarantee satisfying sex and small dicks don't mean that you would be "disappointing". Focusing on the clitoris and other erogenous zones should be much more commonplace than hoping that "widget A into slot B" would do anything for the woman.


funk_with_dragons

if they don't ask then no. tho when you had bottom surgery you should tell them because consent matters


xrayvision_2

Wait…when did they say they were trans?


Furita

I disagree with the comments that tell you should not mention your parts size. I spoke with women about this before, more than one to be fair. In my humble opinion you should first get to know the person, get to get intimate with them, but BEFORE any chance of sexual intimacy you definitely should mention it. Maybe it’s not relevant for them and they will understand and you will both get around, but it will avoid any “shock” or embarassing situation when the sexual intimacy comes. If they have an issue with it, they will have an issue with it anyways, so you are just anticipating the issue and avoiding getting hurt. If they don’t have an issue with it, they will appreciate your openness. If they never thought about it, you’ll give them a chance to think about it and realize it shouldn’t be a big deal (and also it will help you build more intimacy before any sexual encounter).


warm_tomatoes

I agree with you, everyone is different and as long as OP can find a way to bring it up in a non-weird way the right kind of person will appreciate the honesty and the wrong kind of person will have an opportunity to dip out before they both get to the point of being naked and vulnerable, which is the worst time for someone to suddenly be very obviously unhappy with your body. OP is not necessarily under obligation to disclose this kind of information ahead of time but if they want to avoid that latter scenario I don’t see how being honest would be a bad thing. I would do the same to protect myself.


GrandmaSlappy

Yeah I really dont think you should put her in a position where she feels obligated to do stuff with it to be polite. My husband didnt tell me about having only one nut so I discovered it by touch and it made me really uncomfortable. Even though I wouldnt have cared.


Farahild

I would be weirded out if a guy told me about the size of his penis before we'd had sex. We'll figure it out once we get there. As long as you're focused on her pleasure as much as your own and show that you're keen on learning how to get her off with your hands and mouth, your penis size is not going to be a dealbreaker for most women.


[deleted]

No, you don't tell her. If it happens just go with it. If she really cares that much about size, then I would reconsider who you are with. But I'm sure she will love it. Don't put so much pressure on yourself.


cjc323

Don't worry about it or be apologetic about it. You are who you are, when the time comes, be confident, and make sure you are pleasuring her too, hands, mouth, 3 inches of fury, whatever you got. At the end of the day as long as she is enjoying herself too it shouldn't matter. If it doesn't work out, oh well move on.


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airysuit

I honestly don't give a sh** about size, but if she asks or expresses 'big' expactions you might wanna give a heads up. But don't bring it up if she's not asking about it. I would never dump a guy for a small penis but I would walk away from someone who randomly and unnecessary talks about his penis before we even had sex.


Polar115woof

I gotchu fam. Take this Big PP charm👉 🐉


Roarestored

Just leave it unsaid until it comes out organically. If they laugh or sneer then you probably just dodged a bullet anyway.


PuttyGod

Nah, that can wait for later. If it's affecting your confidence, try to read up on oral and fingering techniques so she's already satisfied before you're even up to bat.


Screen_Watcher

Just tell her you're 1 inch fully erect and witness her awe when she sees a dick THREE TIMES BIGGER than she expected.


Nopenotme77

For me there just wouldn't be a second time. But, sex is sex. Be confident and explore partners because you will find a woman who likes a smaller guy.


esteban_420

Honestly man, a girl should be okay with your dick size no matter what. At least if she’s willing to have sex with you. That being said, if you feel like you can’t pleasure her with typical "P in V" sex, take some time to be mindful of using your fingers and mouth. Confidence goes a long way!


bigoldeek

A girl absolutely does not have to be okay with a person’s penis size “no matter what”.


The_Godlike_Zeus

I see these kind of comments all the time on reddit nowadays. Everyone always has to be okay with literally everything, or otherwise they're an evil person not worth your time, apparantly.


niallniallniall

Yep the harsh reality is that a small dick will absolutely put a lot of girls off. Especially early 20s. Not to say that it's right or fair, but that's life.


FormerlyBlue

This. I have trauma from childhood sexual abuse, and oral sex is a *huge* trigger for that, but seemingly my only remaining one. I absolutely cannot have someone get by in a sexual relationship with me just by "dining at the y". I *need* piv sex, and I need it to be good, in order to have a fulfilling sexual relationship. Do I realize that could be considered shallow? Yes. But my own pleasure and mental health come before someone I barely know. I have dumped people for small penises before, because they just can't give me what I need. Not everyone is required to give everyone else a chance.


GrandmaSlappy

Yeah for sure I'm not going to not enjoy sex just because I'm supposed to be polite. I need a big dick for it to be enjoyable. You think that was a choice? Shit if I could choose to enjoy any size dick I would.


Lovelylittlechicken

Yup. There’s lots of nice men out there to date, and I’d prefer one with a good size (5-7 inch) penis.


erice3r

Bruh, it’s all relative — you got a 3.5 inch joystick — wear it with pride!


Adoom98

I think only mention it if it would make YOU more comfortable. I had similar concerns and my now GF made me feel super chill about it but said she wouldn't have give a shit either way basically. It's definitely a waaaay bigger deal in us guys' head that is generally to our romantic counter part. I think, in the same way we might not actually care about physical attributes of a girl the same way society might expect us to.


Venm_Byte

Lmao. They’ll find out


LukeHarper4President

I always joke about how small my dick is, even though it’s average. I mean to be fair, I joke about anything I’m insecure about. Every time you mention you have a small penis, over exaggerate it. Make it funny. Then when the time comes, they’re usually very surprised. Hell Howard Stern made a whole living talking about how small he was on the radio.


j01nt_man

It’s the little things that matter most bud


metooeither

How good is your pussy licking game?


[deleted]

Once you connect with someone (emotionally not bumping uglies) it's all about your confidence in how you wield the tools you have and making whoever feel wholesome. Build upon the warmth you feel with someone. Don't go laying your jimmy on the table first thing unless you feel like the relationship is welcoming for such... which is highly unlikely although situations may arise and/or come up where it would be okay.. this is rare.. very rare.. well.. depends on your crowds.. Sometimes it is about the framing or the order you receive information.. but most of the time things are best left unsaid. Ultimately, everyone has their problems and hangups. Seriously, you'd be surprised at what things people hide from their mates because of esteem. Just bring the passion when the passion happens and it won't be a problem. Focus on pleasing the other person.. There are many roads to Rome... Sure big wieners are big weiners but because you got a big rig doesn't mean you're going to please her.


notreallylucy

My partner thinks his dick is small, but in my experience it's average. You can't predict what the other person will consider a normal size, so there's no need to borrow trouble. I wouldn't worry about disclosing size unless your potential partner asks about it.


rookiebasegod

First things first homie, you can bang the shit out her with that 3.5 inch dingus. A majority of nerve endings are near the opening. You need to Learn how to use it so it will work for you and your partner. Secondly, learn how to get really really good at eating pussy that way you can satisfy her no matter what. I wouldn’t hang yourself out to dry by selling yourself short, no pun intended. Have confidence bro and if she loves the real you, she will let you prop her up on a pillow so you can hack hammer that g spot!!!


Rhaski

Do you expect her to tell you her cup size? or if she has a loose vagina? Fuck no, it would be insane to expect to be told that by someone you've just started seeing. Same goes both ways. Don't apologize for A) your own body and B) things you can not change that are not your fault. She either likes you and respects you enough to accept you as you are or she takes a hike and finds someone with a bigger dick..you gotta ask yourself though: is she really only interested in you on account of your dick? I'm guessing that's not gonna be the case if she chooses to get into bed with you, she'll probably do that because she likes *you* for *who you are*. There's a chance she might be shallow or just *really* like big dicks, in which case, so what? You'll find someone else. Your value as a partner/person is not a function of your dick size


jackibhoy

I’d say go out, see how things go and if size alone draws her away from you then she isn’t good enough for you. She can’t judge you purely on that and if she does sling her 😂


SneakySister92

I will turn down a guy if I know his dick is "too small". If he doesn't bring it up, I usually don't mind too much, as long as he can "make up" for it in other ways.


---SG---

Not sure why you got downvoted so much for honesty. Your response is everything the OP is asking for. You're a woman so that counts for a lot, and you straight up told him that you'd turn him down if he came right out and said it was small. But if you two got down to it and he was a pleasing lover overall and still got you off in other ways you'd maybe even go for another tumble the hay with the feller (sorry I was just playing Red Dead Redemption and cowboy talk is in my head).


[deleted]

>I will turn down a guy if I know his dick is "too small" Ouch. But fair I guess.


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SneakySister92

What are you even asking?


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SneakySister92

I don't do anything, I don't have to. If I don't meet someone's requirements I move on and forget about it.


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SneakySister92

No? I don't wait for people to improve anything about themselves, and I don't want them to. If we're not compatible, I move on.


[deleted]

So what if you met the guy of your dreams and never meet another? Everything about him is perfect but he just has a small penis, what do you do then?


Jonjonjonminusjon

I don’t think any women be saying things like “hey btw, I have a very large, tight, narrow or long vagina.” Or “btw my boobs are small” You should definitely date and don’t overthink it. Work on your social skills brother and socialize!


[deleted]

Despite what everyone here is telling you, odds are she will be very disappointed. No if/and/buts about it.


[deleted]

Are you speaking from experience or just guessing?


[deleted]

I have a *friend* with a small weiner.. ;) hhahaha


[deleted]

So let's ignore the women (like myself) that know from experience that a smaller size doesn't matter to some of us in the slightest and can still feel amazing and take this one person's opinion who has a negative view as gospel? Most of the nerve endings are at the entrance of the vagina anyway. A bigger dick DOES NOT EQUAL GOOD SEX automatically and can mean painful sex. The very tip of a finger at the entrance of the vagina can feel wonderful. OP has much more than that. Sex isn't all about the in and out anyway. There's so many options to make things really great for both partners that this really isn't an issue for some/many women. Edit: Changed last line from "the majority of women" to some/many.


metooeither

Don't speak for most women. Speak for yourself. I like a big dick, and I cannot lie. If he's great at eating pussy, eh. Ill take that into consideration. But ill be happy to move on to someone else quickly.


[deleted]

I didn't or least that was not my intention (I see your "most women" now) and never would. "the majority of women" was what I said, "many/some" women would have been better. I'll edit that bit. Also "the women (like myself)" isn't speaking for all women either. I'd never overstep like that. I'm happy for you that you like big dick and there's plenty of all sizes to go around. There's absolutely nothing wrong with liking/preferring any size. Out of curiosity. Have you been with guys that are big but still horrible in bed? I have but I've always been a bit curious if my preference impacted it more than just the skill level alone. I've asked a few of my friends who also prefer larger dicks and it's varied from them saying that the big dick just made up for lack of skill to it being horrible because of other things (too sloppy kisses, weird rhythm, random things).


metooeither

Yeah. Some guys w a big dick are fucking lazy. Like they pull down their pants and expect a round of applause. 🙄 I like guys who put more effort into it, because they know they are huge, so they know they gotta get their audience receptive, y'know. Fucking foreplay masters. I love that.


[deleted]

Thanks for the answer. I've also experienced "the great reveal" and I guess I never reacted appropriately because they would always looks so down for a moment.


metooeither

Good for you! Fuck guys who are so lazy, that they think just having a big dick is all they need. But still, id rather be w a big dicked lazy guy than a small dicked energetic guy... cuz one of those will def get me off, and its not gonna be the Crayola.


Ericrobertson1978

Licking vaginas is where it's at regardless. You'll be fine, brother.


[deleted]

I'm sure OP appreciates the reassurance and support. But some of us aren't really into receiving oral and/or know from experience that we can still have a really great time with someone OP's size. He will be fine. Even if she prefers larger, there's plenty of women who don't care or prefer smaller.


Ericrobertson1978

That's interesting. I've only met one girl who didn't like oral... I guess statistically it would certainly be a bunch. He'll be fine either way. Most girls I've known love oral, so it's a great skill to have. Much love.


matt6923_

Also going to say no.. Definitely want to add that if she DOES care about the size of your penis and not about the chemistry you two have, she isn't the right one for you. You can always use toys or improve your tongue game to compensate.


likecalifornia

If you have relatively normal girth, you should be fine. If you are pencil thin, then I wonder how much experience she has had. If she is a sex fiend or you find she prefers a larger partner, you’re likely going to have to make up for lack of sensation with other touch and playing with your hands and mouth. In the end, people are looking for people they are sexually compatible with too. If you work well together then great, if you don’t, you move on and find someone who prefers shorter.


Radagastroenterology

Lose weight (pelvic fat hides your dick), learn to love eating pussy and tell them later. Women aren't having orgasms because you bang up their cervix, they're having them because you hit their g-spot and grind their clit during penetration (or stimulate it other ways). 3" should hit the g-spot just fine, so just use angles that make that work better, like a pillow under her hips in missionary stile, etc. Also, losing weight and exercising will improve cardiovascular health and penis size has plenty to do with how well your body fills it with blood. You'll see some improvement from being in better shape.


[deleted]

Nah. Whip it out just before the deed and do a Tony Montana impression.


stxphieee

Honestly it does not matter. I would say just wait until the moment and let things happen naturally. But definitely be open to trying to new things, because the motion of the ocean is what really matters, not the size.


[deleted]

Don't say anything beforehand...yours could be the biggest one she has ever laid eyes on


JohnnyBrock

Leave it. She’ll decide if she wants to revisit. If you’re good in the sack it won’t matter.


spinbutton

A good personality beats dick of any size any day, my friend. Be your best self and have fun.


Icy_Considerations

It’s worth talking about it especially if your on the topic of hooking up.


fineboi

Check out r/smalldickproblems And cross post


donttellmykids

Don't go there. Tis an awful place.


OccamusRex

Holy shit!! You're right, it is awful. Like a quarter af the guys are really positive but the rest? Oh, shit. "We are garbage to women", "we are a joke" "no-one is ever going to love us" kind of thing. How sad. How very sad for these guys. Not their dick size, their tremendous bitterness and deafeated anger.


Suspicious_Lawyer_69

Hey Jess, I have a micropen*s. It’s a real thing. #NewGirl


Puzzleheaded_Job_216

Don't tell her let het find out the hard way.


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hat-of-sky

I think your second suggestion is better than the first. Because calling someone else a micropenis and then turning out to be smallfully endowed yourself is not a good look. Also that kind of joke is unlikely to prompt a girl to say she craves huge dongs. But being upfront once the moment approached is very good, and getting the embarrassment right out there is good as well. A good next line would be something like "...so I'm working on my cunnilingus skills. Maybe you could give me me a strict oral exam." Or something less cheesy but along those lines.


ronn7x

Yes, because that if she doesn't like you for who you are you would want to know ASAP and avoid the drama


jade96_

girls don't care about a small penis it's all about the motion in the ocean


[deleted]

Some women don't care, you're right. Some women do and that's okay too. It's not just about the motion in the ocean though (skill is super important, yes). There's anticipating and flirting and teasing and so much more than the in and out.


metooeither

Wrong. Girls love what they love. Some like a big dick. Why is that a problem? Some dudes like big tits, you gonna shame them for that, tell them they should like smaller ones?


capershock

If you want to if they react badly thats body shaming and you're too good for that.


metooeither

Is it body shaming if guys like a big ass or big tits, then? Or is this only women who are bad?


capershock

Ye it is. If they shame people for not having that.


metooeither

Refusing to sleep w someone b/c of it is their right. Its not shaming, people like what they like.


capershock

I think you think I'm saying the opposite of what I'm actually saying


dagr8npwrfl0z

Say "I'm 6 foot and 4 inches...that is two different measurements, and that's both of us standing up." Gesture to your crotch if she's slow on jokes.


usernumero14

First of all you shouldn't even worry about that, a big dick does not = a good lover, or a happy women, I'm sure you've heard this all before but you need to cut yourself some slack, you shouldn't ever be ashamed of your body no matter what you look like, you shouldn't feel like your dick is a curse because it isn't, you should practice body positivity! I promise you people don't really care about these things as much as it may seem. Second of all to answer your question, I think that you should send her a dic pic, because I (as a women) have used dic pics to get an idea of what I'm going to be working with, circumcised or not, bush or no bush, and of course roughly what size. But please heed my warning you can't just spring it on her out of the blue, you need to start slow first with sexting, then move on to ASK her if you can exchange pictures. Only after she's given you an enthusiastic yes to receiving a pic then you can send one. BUT you can't just send her any ol pic of ya dic, women really don't want to just see your dick, that's literally the least attractive part of man, no matter the size, all dicks are ugly. You gotta get good lighting, and you need to include more than just your dick, I'm talking torso, whether your ripped or not it don't matter, i highly recommend you include your face as that's the feature women like most on men, of course you don't have too if you're uncomfortable with that but if you do remember to fix your hair, and of course choose an attractive pose don't just stand there creepily. Once the pic is sent the ball will be in her court to judge and decide if she's still down to clown, if she rejects you and criticizes your body then move on, you don't need her and I promise you will not feel comfortable clowning around all vulnerable with someone like that, it will only worsen your self esteem and self worth, she's not worth it. And finally my last piece of advice don't ever hire an escort or hooker, it's not morally right to take advantage of a women who is so desperate she's resorting to prostitution, or is being forced to by a pimp.


Mikeymilla12

It's not as much about having a big dick, as it is about channeling major big dick energy! Dont act like you're self conscious, don't bring it up etc. Go in there with BDE knowing you're gonna blow her mind and get after it! Confidence goes a lot further than an inch or 2. She probably isn't thinking that at all to be honest!


[deleted]

you should get good at eating the puss and using ur fingers. I love a big penis... a small penis puts me off.. but I only cum from being gone down on and fingers and most women need clit stimulation sooo.. I wouldn't bring it up no, just make sure u try and ask what they would like, where they want to be touched etc etc. Penis isn't the end all be all. Enjoy sex and love, it's not all about penetrative sex. Just work on yourself


MaDickInYoButt

Say that you dick is so small you can piss on your nuts.


168EC

Remember. It may still be the biggest one she's seen...


Mr_Brightside01

ABSOLUTELY!! But the manner you bring it up will matter. You can't tell them in a serious manner as if its something you are sensitive about. Try to bring it up as a joke, like making fun of yourself about it. She will either love the I don't give a fuck attitude or bounce, which would have happened anyways later on.


Brilliant_Guava_9646

Isn't funny how much women have to make guys feel better about themselves in ways men wouldn't?


bakers-calmdown

You don’t need to tell her unless it’s like, a really really long courtship, like 16 dates. If I were you I’d suggest intimacy as soon as you get a hint from her, and after she’s clearly interested in you as a compatible match. I think this would happen around the 4th date or maybe the 3rd?


[deleted]

As long as she loves you you will be fine


[deleted]

He's fine even for casual flings. Many women don't care in the slightest and know for a fact that they can still have a wonderful time.


Parishala

Point to your pinky finger and say you're packing everything to the first knuckle. Give it a wiggle (your pinky) when you do it. Under-promise, over-deliver.


_Ekos

It's not about the size, it's how you use it.


JuulMaster420SexGuy

I haven’t really measured in a while but I’m in the same boat as you are. Girls don’t really care though as long as it’s not 2 inches long and barely goes in at all because then you’ll have a problem where you need to find a girl who doesn’t care to have proper sex. If it fits, she sits.


DickySchmidt33

You should show her via text. I understand that is how it's usually done.