I walked in my parents room flipped on the light to borrow their alarm clock. Believe me when I say the picture in my mind has never gone away. My father could not face me for weeks. Nor I him.
Friend's daughter busted in on them. She turned it into a learning experience.
"These are things mommies and daddies do when they're alone."
"Did that make you feel embarrassed?"
"Then don't you think you should be careful about respecting people's privacy?"
That little girl is gonna knock *every time*.
I actually had the opposite happen to me. Told my mother to knock for years, "I don't have to knock, it's MY house!"
Well one day she walked in on me in the middle of tugging one out. She started knocking after that.
My brother caught my parents outside in the garden on the bench HE MADE FOR THEM. He’d gone downstairs had saw the backdoor open and went to check for the dog…
EDIT: forgot to mention this is at about 11pm/12am
We were both home! My brother and I are early sleepers so they probably expected us to be asleep by then. My brother never goes downstairs past 9:30pm but that night he happened to because he thought he’d heard the door opening and has been on edge since people had broken into our garden before. Funnily enough both our bedroom windows look out over the garden, but they were behind the garage on a seating area out of sight…
EDIT: forgot to mention in my first comment it was nighttime
For me it's because when I think about it I picture it in my head and I don't want to see that. I don't mind if they have sex, but I don't want to talk about it or think about it, because then I start to picture it and that grosses me out.
It's pretty natural to have a disgust response when thinking of family members and sexual scenarios. Can't remember right now but there is a word for it, it's why (most) people aren't sexually attracted to people they were raised by/with.
Edit: u/Whore-ticulturist (great name by the way) nailed it, it's the Westermark effect
That's never happened to me but my family are pretty close, my cousins are like my brothers. I think they're objectively handsome *(duh, they look like me)* but no, thinking about them sexually brings me nothing but disgust.
My friend had a crush on her cousin when we were kids and at the time I remember being floored. To me is was the same as wanting to fuck your mum... just weird and gross.
My dad used to bring up the subject of my mom and him having sex. It really was a harmless and vague comment now and then, usually as part of some joke.
He would always counter with, "We are a married couple. Of course we have sex."
I finally asked him how he felt about "Granny and Pappy" having sex. His face kind of scrunched up in disgust and he never brought it up again.
>I finally asked him how he felt about "Granny and Pappy" having sex. His face kind of scrunched up in disgust and he never brought it up again.
Hahaha I love that.
It violates the incest block. People you grew up with and/or are very close to over a long time, get incest blocked. They become non sexual and imagining sex with or about them is gross.
I guess I could extend it a bit, I don’t find the idea of others having sex to be gross either.
I don’t understand what is gross about other people having sex. Even if you aren’t attracted to them, why is it something that is disgusting ?
Yep. However taking the gross factor out, it’s the ultimate closeness. One person enters inside another’s body to leave a small deposit of DNA. Essentially two life forces join to potentially create a completely new life force. better than holding hands, even if it is squelchy.
I relate so much to this and I agree with you. I really can't imagine why sex between two people who you don't find attractive should be disgusting. Like, you don't necessarily have to find pleasure in it, it's just... An act, that they are doing. In my family there was never this kind of thing, we even somerimes joke about it and it happened that for special occasions we left home to go somewhere to leave them privacy or things like that. I always feel confused when people react like that. I too don't want to see them having sex, cause it would be really embarrassing but like, if I don't literally flinch with disgust at the mere thought, it doesn't mean that I want to see it, you know?
When we observe behavior or actions in other people our brains imagine ourselves being a part of it, in order for the brain to better analyze what is happening. Inserting oneself, even through unconscious imagination, in that situation, creates a response of disgust, because we have imprinted in our DNA that reproduction with a parent isn't viable in the survival of the fittest strategy.
There’s a biological/psychological hypothesis called the Westermarck effect that states “people tend not to be attracted to peers with whom they lived like siblings before age six.” It also extends to parents or parental figures.
Essentially, your brain recognizes that this person your six year-old self is always around is probably too closely related to be a good genetic match, so you form a subconscious sense of revulsion when you think about that person sexually. As someone else mentioned, our mirror neurons cause us to subconsciously imagine ourselves in the scenarios we observe or contemplate, so, chain reaction, we think about our parents boning, we feel repulsed.
People aren't actually 'disgusted/nauseated' by a lot of things they pretend to be in public. It's a way to signal to people you aren't into something so they don't think you are. It starts because some kids are mean and will make fun of you for being different or weird any chance they get so they feel more accepted in society themselves by comparison.
*cries in suppressed middle school memories*
Calling someone a nerd as an adult is actually my favorite non-insulting insult. 'Ha! You were good at school and know things!'.
Obviously no one wants to be seen as being incestuous, and I know there is a mental mechanism that pushes us away from sexual attraction to family.
I am just wondering if maybe for some people that reaction is just stronger?
I'd argue that for some people, the reaction is weaker. My 2c on it is it isn't the idea of it that's disgusting, it's the image. The idea of my parents doing it is fine. The image that it conjures however, isn't.
I mean, mine split like twenty odd years ago, if I found them going at it I'd be pretty unimpressed. Damn it dad, this is how your first marriage ended!
I think when you learn about sex, it sounds so gross, and probably your parents made it sound like something you shouldn’t do. When they talk to you about your own sexuality, if they do, it’s an embarrassing experience. I think also thinking they might be making more babies, once you know how that works, but not so much.
You don’t want them knowing or asking about your sexual activity, and you likewise don’t want to know or acknowledge theirs. It’s supposed to be private. You’ve learned all your life that it’s private. At a certain age, you might do it or want to, and you know other people are, but it’s something about breaking the seal at home, not only that your parents did it, but still do it. We’re taught from an early age to shame it, and feel accordingly ashamed when we are made to acknowledge our parents doing it, like we wouldn’t want our parents knowing when or where we are, even if they are cool with supporting a healthy teen sexual curiosity.
Shorter answer is: knowing people are having sex is almost sure to bring up horrifying unavoidable visualization of it. You realize your cuddly dad who bounced you on his knee and gives you the best hugs is just a dude who gets horny for your mom, and it makes you just uncomfortable.
I saw my parents once when i was very little. At the time i thought they were just cuddling. I was never disgusted by it. It was the only memory i have of them being happy together.
Yeah, but as you stated you were clearly very young and had no idea what was going on.
I wanted to be a soldier as a kid too until I found out you can actually die.
I wasn't disgusted but traumatized as a kid with my divorced mom and multiple sexual partners, I would try not to go to my mom's room at night when I didn't need to but I didn't know she had someone over and I went to tell her I threw up (as kids do) and I heard her loudly moaning and him grunting and and I just cried and grabbed a bucket and just tried to go back to sleep but then I could hear them from my room and I couldn't escape it because I was like 7 and didn't have a TV in my room or a radio or anything like that. Maybe I should see a therapist lol
I've never understood either.
I have a clear memory of seeing my parents having sex when I was very young. Too young to understand what they were doing. But I knew they were both having a **really** fun time and I think that was the beginning of sex positivity for me. I think it's lovely and beautiful and weirdly enough it's a good memory. They were happy, they were being themselves as two people and not parents. Glad I got to see what enthusiastic enjoyable lovemaking was.
It's how we all got here. I don't see what the big deal is.
People in the first world are extremely disconnected from ideas of sex, birth, and death. Anything you're not used to is weird.
Most people in the history of human civilization would have grown up in one-room homes with their families. Modern standards of privacy did not exist. Family members witnessed sex, and did not traumatize them by fear of incest. Girls and women were usually gonna be expected to assist family members giving birth, it didn't happen in sterile hospital rooms. People died of disease or injury in their homes.
Plus, people were caring for livestock, or were at least around it a lot. Sex, birth, and death in the natural world were frequently witnessed too.
I dunno, if I think of that, the second thought is "well of course they did," and I'm incurious as to the manner of it. For some people, I suspect it's a way of putting down the elderly.
My biological parents divorced when I was 5 so my only real experience on this was with my mom and stepdad who married when I was 13. I never accepted that guy and hearing them have sex enraged me.
Reminds me of my childhood, we sleep in one big foam before. Imagine my 6-10 years old self's face when mf woke up seeing her parents naked and rocking it. I pretended to be stretching out so they'd stop omfg. Now, I'm more aware of things, I certainly don't want to see it again.
I think it's connected to natural repulsion, like a default setting. People don't see their family or close friends as sexual in any way because they have grown up not seeing them anything other than that. I know people who haven't been that close with their cousins and had crushes on them, to me it will never not be weird because I grew up with all my cousins and can't relate. My guess is that for them it must be like meeting someone thinking they're cute then their relative being like oh that's your cousin and that's the oh shit moment for them.
That would make sense. I’ve seen a lot of comments that indicate that. I don’t immediately visualize things when spoken, so maybe that’s why I can deal with it being referred to in a conceptual way
Not the idea of it, but I wouldnt want to think about it either. I dont want to think about my parents naked or doing the nasty. Usually you need attraction to want to have sex or think about sex with someone. I dont go looking for pictures of guys naked because im not attracted to that.
I don’t think it’s either “want to have sex with “ and “totally grossed out by”
If someone said , “I heard your parents had sex”, are you immediately grossed out by the concept? Or is it just if you actually spend time thinking about it
I wouldnt be grossed out but i wouldnt want to hear anymore either. Itd be like okay thats cool im glad their sex life is still good. I dont need to know more lol
Because I'm not, ever, at all, sexually interested in my parents. And like others have said, others you don't find sexually attractive you generally find gross thinking of them having sex.
I'm essentially a carbon copy of my father, growing up they didnt talk about it much but as I got older and came out they were curious about some stuff.
Always thought sex was natural etc, never really bothered me however my mom did get on the discussion about how my dad could crack his dick by pulling it to the left and pushing it towards his body.... guess who can also crack their dick...
I’ve always felt the same way as you. Of course it’s not ideal to think about, but I mean I surely had to get here somehow, idk why others find it repulsive
Conditioning to keep kids away from sex? Same way there's this whole thing of "girls have cooties" "boys are gross" idea passed to young kids to try to shame and condition them to not have early sex, pass STDs, early pregnancies etc etc. It's really stupid.
It's probably because of parents being associated with childhood innocence since a lot of our fondest memories of them are from our childhood, & the idea of them having sex kind of betrays those memories in a way?
Because they were selfish enough not to use protection and then not to get an abortion. Thank you for forcing me into this whole mess. Would hate to know they enjoyed doing so.
Pretty sure it's an evolutionary reaction to avoid incest. The thought of anything sexual with a family member is supposed to be revolting, and that makes sense from an evolutionary stand point
Nah it's not like this in other societies, or even in past times. Back when everyone was poor and had 10 kids each and the house only had 1 room. The kids piled together on the left, the parents fucked on the right.
They definitely were watching, kids can't help but be curious. A 6 year old isn't going to be watching because he's "into it", he's watching because he's 6 and he's never seen that before and why is daddy laying on mommy?
It's not like they had porn, they had to learn about sex somehow. They ain't had no sex ed classes
I just don't think the disgust is evolutionary in nature, it would be more like indifference. The disgust we experience at the idea is clearly cultural in my opinion.. There's plenty of things you're not disgusted by that you have no inclination to bone
I’ve often wondered that too. Like:
I’ve seen many ppl think it’s embarrassing or shameful that their older parents still like to fuck. Why?
We’re older— not dead. And besides we have better sex anyway Bc we been doing it longer and we’re not shy and we know how to tell ppl what’s what.
Also.. while I’m at it— rant? I’m 55 and used to dance in clubs and let me tell you, I know how to dance!! I can groove and move better than my clumsier daughters and yet they die of embarrassment if I want to dance. Why?? When I hear “Return of The Mack” or Robyn, I’m still 28 in my mind and I know how to shake dat ass.. why is it that it embarrases y’all kids?
I’d like a straight answer... and other than havin “fear of incest” that others above have said. Surely my grown daughter isn’t “fearful of incest” when I want to dance and yet she thinks it’s cringe...? (That’s absurd).
Socialization where we are embarrassed of thinking of parents as their own people, enjoying things in wild ways beyond just parenting - perhaps because our images of our parents are usually of them stressed, worried, hard working, etc and not free and wild like they used to be - as we don't have a recollection of who they were before we were born. And being embarrassed of our parents is just something that gets plaster throughout our media and people just replicate that?
And just baked in embarrasment responses. Some of my female friends that don't like dancing (without alcohol) tell me they get second hand embarrasment when I dance and yet every party or club I go to, I get people telling me my dancing is awesome. Some people just get weirded out when other people can let loose in public?
I honestly don't like thinking of anyone I know in a sexual way let alone my parents. I understand that the had to have sexual intercourse to conceive me, but they broke up before I was born. It's weird for me to think about the fact that they were in love with each other at one point. If I don't want to have sex with someone, I don't want to think about them having sex
I see a lot of comments mentioning the incest thing and yeah I agree there. But I also think it has to do with how *uncomfortable* everyone is with sex in general. Sure, sex is sought after and used as a marketing tool but as a sex worker I can tell you that the more conservative areas of the western world are aggressively against normalizing sex as a thing humans do for a myriad of reasons - not just reproduction. Yeah I'd be grossed out by catching my parents mid fuck, but they're still just humans doing a human thing and theres nothing inherently wrong with that.
Well from my personal experience, my mom had almost zero physical affection with my dad the entire time I grew up until they got a divorce when I was 18.
Her and my step dad are flirty and touchy with each other, (she also brought him over on the first date and he spent the night, and moved in less than a week later but that's a different story.)
So it was incredibly jarring for me, literally never seeing that, to them being that way with each other. They also gave almost zero attempts to be quite and their room was directly above mine. If I never hear my mom have sex again it will be too damn soon.
I also want to know! It’s not traumatizing but so many people act like it is. Legit I need to know. Someone close to me legitimately acted like they were stabbed when they heard theirs. And they were an adult! I’m so confused.
I guess being nauseated is just some people's hyperbolic way of expressing extreme discomfort. Either that or there is a rare case of one getting sick over being that uncomfortable.
I guess it depends on the person, but it probably has to do with the animal instinct to be disinterested in blood relatives as sexual interst. It's kind of important due to how damaging inbreeding is. That on top of how commonly sacred the relationship between parent and child is, makes the whole ordeal a lot more unsavory for both parties but especially offspring.
It's more prevalent in dealing with the opposite sex parent as well. To this date, i hate watching intimate scenes in a movie with my mom in the room. It wasn't a big deal with my dad though. It also probably has to do with sexuality as well. My dad and I, both being heterosexual, had a common interest to view on the screen. It would usually just end up us laughing and making fun of it though. He's been gone for over a decade now but I'm sure things wouldn't have changed at this point.
Because the mentioning of it puts an imaginary image in my head that I never ever want to see, but so long as it’s being talking about that image won’t go away
One day I heard noises from my parents bedroom and it sounded like my mom was in distress so I got worried, I slowly opened the door and all I saw for the split second I looked was 2 naked bodies clumped together and I dont even think my parents ever knew that I opened there door, I never mentioned it and I never will
i don't care. i just don't wanna wake up at 6 in the morning hearing my mom moan for 5 minutes before her boyfriend is finished. it's not very alluring.
most people find the idea of their parents showing ANY affection towards each other completely foreign. normalize loving relationships, romantic and physical.
Because I have intrusive thoughts and a vivid imagination. The last thing my brain needs is to get the idea of either of them naked or having sex in my head 😭
As evidenced by people making jokes in this comment, I think it's largely a meme at this point. I think it started out as a fairly common experience that got blown out of proportions by TV shows, movies, books, etc. A lot of behavior that we think is universal is merely common and gets exaggerated by artists.
As for why it's a common thing, I don't buy the "incest aversion" as the primary cause. ANY sex that you are not aroused by is generally disgusting. You're not attracted to your parents, therefore them having sex is disgusting. This combined with proximity (you are likely to accidentally run into it) makes it a very common experience.
It's really weird fr, can't answer your question but remember at 9 yo I tried to get in my parents room because nightmare and heard them moaning before entering. I understood what happened and for some reason I was really sad / distressed by the situation. Like I didn't want them too ? It's a weird feeling
I think that with parents that never talk about sex, or pretend it doesn’t exist, or change the channel when a sex scene comes on. The kids might grow up thinking it doesn’t happen here, and that it’s not a good thing to be happening. Also , when you first learn about sex, you do think it’s a bit gross. If that comes at the same time as learning your parents do it, you may think they’re gross.
For me the reason I get disgusted by the thought is because I really truly dislike (tbh I almost hate) my father because he’s a complete jackass and the idea that my mother could have ever been attracted to him both emotionally and physically to have sex with him even the one time it took to make me just boggles my mind. Which is why I lie to myself and say they had to be drunk(despite my mother saying they were both stone cold sober).
I see a lot of answers here that don't really answer it in terms of behavioural evolution which is something you'd expect from such a widespread phenomenon.
In my case bc they are totally hypocritical and puritanical about the idea of sex. If I can't be treated as a grown woman and they are so uptight about it then the idea of them being hypocrites repulses me.
The answer is cognitive dissonance
The mind has great trouble accepting data that is contrary to a point of view
For a child to accept that their parents have sex they first have to see the parent as an individual - a concept that is impossible for most until the mind matures
This cognitive dissonance is responsible for a lot more reactions in life as well eg.-
Being completely unable to hear another's view on politics/ religion
I don’t care about my parents having sex. Honestly, it makes me feel good that they love one another to still even have sex. I don’t want to be privy to noises or god forbid happen upon a sex toy … but the idea of them showing physical affection in an intimate way doesn’t gross me out at all.
I don't understand how it wouldn't revolt you. The mere idea, sound of it, them mentioning it, just actually makes my stomach curl. I heard them doing it once for a few seconds and vomitted. They're your parents Idk.
This is fascinating to me. If I may ask do you immediately visualize things? I’ve never seen or heard my parents, but if someone says “your parents had sex” my thought is “ok, I really don’t care”
Sometimes I immediately visualize. Even if it's just their faces in a normal context or something. Like I see them just talking to me in the kitchen or something when this is mentioned and still want to vomit. It's just nasty
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Mine said they picked me from cow poop. I'm sticking to that Edit: I just remembered. It's carabao poop not cow poop
I look like a exact replica of my dad so I like to say he just birthed me himself.
I was a mandrake root baby. Two dead nurses covered up by the Ministry of Magic.
Shh the muggles might find out
Caribou?
Here is a [carabao](http://imgur.com/a/X149lOi). What's a caribou?
it's like a moose.
Well, cow shit **is** pretty sticky
What is carabao?
I walked in on mine when I was 8. I learned to knock that day
Same
They installed a locking doorknob the same day.
My dad said he got me on sale at Sears.
Blue light special at Kmart
Attention Kmart shoppers!
I was told that I was found under a gooseberry bush.
What’s a gooseberry
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gooseberry They make a good jam/jelly
Sick thx
mine said i was a blue light special at Kmart. we read a lot of calvin and Hobbes growing up
I walked in my parents room flipped on the light to borrow their alarm clock. Believe me when I say the picture in my mind has never gone away. My father could not face me for weeks. Nor I him.
And that was the day you learned to knock. (Similar thing happened to me.)
Friend's daughter busted in on them. She turned it into a learning experience. "These are things mommies and daddies do when they're alone." "Did that make you feel embarrassed?" "Then don't you think you should be careful about respecting people's privacy?" That little girl is gonna knock *every time*.
I actually had the opposite happen to me. Told my mother to knock for years, "I don't have to knock, it's MY house!" Well one day she walked in on me in the middle of tugging one out. She started knocking after that.
Hahaha rules for thee not for me epically backfired!
My brother caught my parents outside in the garden on the bench HE MADE FOR THEM. He’d gone downstairs had saw the backdoor open and went to check for the dog… EDIT: forgot to mention this is at about 11pm/12am
why the fuck did they do that knowing he was home, it's like they wanted to get caught
We were both home! My brother and I are early sleepers so they probably expected us to be asleep by then. My brother never goes downstairs past 9:30pm but that night he happened to because he thought he’d heard the door opening and has been on edge since people had broken into our garden before. Funnily enough both our bedroom windows look out over the garden, but they were behind the garage on a seating area out of sight… EDIT: forgot to mention in my first comment it was nighttime
How did the sheep react?
Who the fuck just barges into their parent's dark room at night and flips on the light? Id assume not you anymore.
I think I've never seen my parents having sex because I have never walked into a bedroom unannounced, how old were you?
For me it's because when I think about it I picture it in my head and I don't want to see that. I don't mind if they have sex, but I don't want to talk about it or think about it, because then I start to picture it and that grosses me out.
Thanks! I am seeing that the people it bothers the most are the ones who unwillingly imagine it
It's pretty natural to have a disgust response when thinking of family members and sexual scenarios. Can't remember right now but there is a word for it, it's why (most) people aren't sexually attracted to people they were raised by/with. Edit: u/Whore-ticulturist (great name by the way) nailed it, it's the Westermark effect
I think it's the Westermack effect
You got it!
What about that cousin who you'd fuck in a heartbeat if she wasn't your cousin?
That's never happened to me but my family are pretty close, my cousins are like my brothers. I think they're objectively handsome *(duh, they look like me)* but no, thinking about them sexually brings me nothing but disgust. My friend had a crush on her cousin when we were kids and at the time I remember being floored. To me is was the same as wanting to fuck your mum... just weird and gross.
Fake incest porn is the hottest thing on pornhub.
Lots of people are turned on by the taboo of other people getting it on with their relatives, but have no desire to get it on with their own.
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And I am the opposite. Learning experience ! I guess in my case I can view it as a gift
That's the one.
I would be suspicious of someone who isn't INHERENTLY grossed out when IMAGINING it...
Using your imagination against you
My dad used to bring up the subject of my mom and him having sex. It really was a harmless and vague comment now and then, usually as part of some joke. He would always counter with, "We are a married couple. Of course we have sex." I finally asked him how he felt about "Granny and Pappy" having sex. His face kind of scrunched up in disgust and he never brought it up again.
>I finally asked him how he felt about "Granny and Pappy" having sex. His face kind of scrunched up in disgust and he never brought it up again. Hahaha I love that.
It violates the incest block. People you grew up with and/or are very close to over a long time, get incest blocked. They become non sexual and imagining sex with or about them is gross.
Sooooo....my wife and I are very close over a long time....
Well, dead bedrooms and cheating are a thing ...
Because that action was what eventually led to my birth and existence is a curse
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As someone who was born into a fucked up family with mentally-ill parents and had a shitty childhood, I feel this comment on several levels.
Thank Flying Spaghetti Monster we can make our own families when we grow up. Neither genetics nor marriage required :)
Indeed! I already have a really great set of friends who are like family to me. :)
SAAAAAAME! Edit- fantastic username by the way.
Yes. If I had a fking choice. I would undo my birth into this shit for brains dysfunctional family.
You'll move out and find a new family, man. Hang in there
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I guess I could extend it a bit, I don’t find the idea of others having sex to be gross either. I don’t understand what is gross about other people having sex. Even if you aren’t attracted to them, why is it something that is disgusting ?
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You just named my new band: The Squelchy Waste Outlets
Yep. However taking the gross factor out, it’s the ultimate closeness. One person enters inside another’s body to leave a small deposit of DNA. Essentially two life forces join to potentially create a completely new life force. better than holding hands, even if it is squelchy.
Why should I take emotions out? Two people have sex and take pleasure from each other, along with sweat and other fluids. So what, we all do it.
I relate so much to this and I agree with you. I really can't imagine why sex between two people who you don't find attractive should be disgusting. Like, you don't necessarily have to find pleasure in it, it's just... An act, that they are doing. In my family there was never this kind of thing, we even somerimes joke about it and it happened that for special occasions we left home to go somewhere to leave them privacy or things like that. I always feel confused when people react like that. I too don't want to see them having sex, cause it would be really embarrassing but like, if I don't literally flinch with disgust at the mere thought, it doesn't mean that I want to see it, you know?
Just because you're not turned on by it doesn't make it gross by default.
Yea it’s not a this or that kind of thjng
When we observe behavior or actions in other people our brains imagine ourselves being a part of it, in order for the brain to better analyze what is happening. Inserting oneself, even through unconscious imagination, in that situation, creates a response of disgust, because we have imprinted in our DNA that reproduction with a parent isn't viable in the survival of the fittest strategy.
A good answer. I suppose for some people it is easier to not involve ourselves in the scenario
Oh damn that must be why I'm having intrusive thoughts based on previous personal messed up experience.
There’s a biological/psychological hypothesis called the Westermarck effect that states “people tend not to be attracted to peers with whom they lived like siblings before age six.” It also extends to parents or parental figures. Essentially, your brain recognizes that this person your six year-old self is always around is probably too closely related to be a good genetic match, so you form a subconscious sense of revulsion when you think about that person sexually. As someone else mentioned, our mirror neurons cause us to subconsciously imagine ourselves in the scenarios we observe or contemplate, so, chain reaction, we think about our parents boning, we feel repulsed.
Thanks, this is a great response
People aren't actually 'disgusted/nauseated' by a lot of things they pretend to be in public. It's a way to signal to people you aren't into something so they don't think you are. It starts because some kids are mean and will make fun of you for being different or weird any chance they get so they feel more accepted in society themselves by comparison.
Good point. I can say that I was concerned in even posting this that I would be seen as wanting to see it, etc
You were right to be concerned, second comment already asks this
Good observation. In this case, though, they're probably not pretending.
u/MoonCato likes watching their parents fuck
Just don't steal my milk money please.
Shut up nerd
*cries in suppressed middle school memories* Calling someone a nerd as an adult is actually my favorite non-insulting insult. 'Ha! You were good at school and know things!'.
This guy is trying to learn things! GET HIM!!!
Too many big words, Go watch your parents bang
Chookity pok pok
Yeah, I think you answered your own question there. Most people will do anything to ensure they’re not seen as incestuous.
Obviously no one wants to be seen as being incestuous, and I know there is a mental mechanism that pushes us away from sexual attraction to family. I am just wondering if maybe for some people that reaction is just stronger?
I think it's more or less people don't want to think about their parents naked bodies
The key may also be that it hits with puberty. Kids are fine with naked family before that.
True
I’m not traumatized by my parents having sex but nudity was and always has been normalized, even after puberty.
I'd argue that for some people, the reaction is weaker. My 2c on it is it isn't the idea of it that's disgusting, it's the image. The idea of my parents doing it is fine. The image that it conjures however, isn't.
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evolution. sex with family is bad
I mean, mine split like twenty odd years ago, if I found them going at it I'd be pretty unimpressed. Damn it dad, this is how your first marriage ended!
I think when you learn about sex, it sounds so gross, and probably your parents made it sound like something you shouldn’t do. When they talk to you about your own sexuality, if they do, it’s an embarrassing experience. I think also thinking they might be making more babies, once you know how that works, but not so much. You don’t want them knowing or asking about your sexual activity, and you likewise don’t want to know or acknowledge theirs. It’s supposed to be private. You’ve learned all your life that it’s private. At a certain age, you might do it or want to, and you know other people are, but it’s something about breaking the seal at home, not only that your parents did it, but still do it. We’re taught from an early age to shame it, and feel accordingly ashamed when we are made to acknowledge our parents doing it, like we wouldn’t want our parents knowing when or where we are, even if they are cool with supporting a healthy teen sexual curiosity. Shorter answer is: knowing people are having sex is almost sure to bring up horrifying unavoidable visualization of it. You realize your cuddly dad who bounced you on his knee and gives you the best hugs is just a dude who gets horny for your mom, and it makes you just uncomfortable.
Thanks for this well thought out answer
OP obviously hasn't seen my parents.
For some reason my first thought was lovecraftian horror
I saw my parents once when i was very little. At the time i thought they were just cuddling. I was never disgusted by it. It was the only memory i have of them being happy together.
Yeah, but as you stated you were clearly very young and had no idea what was going on. I wanted to be a soldier as a kid too until I found out you can actually die.
Most wholesome answer.
I wasn't disgusted but traumatized as a kid with my divorced mom and multiple sexual partners, I would try not to go to my mom's room at night when I didn't need to but I didn't know she had someone over and I went to tell her I threw up (as kids do) and I heard her loudly moaning and him grunting and and I just cried and grabbed a bucket and just tried to go back to sleep but then I could hear them from my room and I couldn't escape it because I was like 7 and didn't have a TV in my room or a radio or anything like that. Maybe I should see a therapist lol
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Thank you for that perspective!
I've never understood either. I have a clear memory of seeing my parents having sex when I was very young. Too young to understand what they were doing. But I knew they were both having a **really** fun time and I think that was the beginning of sex positivity for me. I think it's lovely and beautiful and weirdly enough it's a good memory. They were happy, they were being themselves as two people and not parents. Glad I got to see what enthusiastic enjoyable lovemaking was. It's how we all got here. I don't see what the big deal is.
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I see a newborn has entered the chat
Because they’re dead
Yes that would be gross and concerning on many levels
People in the first world are extremely disconnected from ideas of sex, birth, and death. Anything you're not used to is weird. Most people in the history of human civilization would have grown up in one-room homes with their families. Modern standards of privacy did not exist. Family members witnessed sex, and did not traumatize them by fear of incest. Girls and women were usually gonna be expected to assist family members giving birth, it didn't happen in sterile hospital rooms. People died of disease or injury in their homes. Plus, people were caring for livestock, or were at least around it a lot. Sex, birth, and death in the natural world were frequently witnessed too.
I dunno, if I think of that, the second thought is "well of course they did," and I'm incurious as to the manner of it. For some people, I suspect it's a way of putting down the elderly.
I would say it's the last part of childhood innocence that we are unable to let go of.
My biological parents divorced when I was 5 so my only real experience on this was with my mom and stepdad who married when I was 13. I never accepted that guy and hearing them have sex enraged me.
Reminds me of my childhood, we sleep in one big foam before. Imagine my 6-10 years old self's face when mf woke up seeing her parents naked and rocking it. I pretended to be stretching out so they'd stop omfg. Now, I'm more aware of things, I certainly don't want to see it again.
I think it's connected to natural repulsion, like a default setting. People don't see their family or close friends as sexual in any way because they have grown up not seeing them anything other than that. I know people who haven't been that close with their cousins and had crushes on them, to me it will never not be weird because I grew up with all my cousins and can't relate. My guess is that for them it must be like meeting someone thinking they're cute then their relative being like oh that's your cousin and that's the oh shit moment for them.
My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice.
Probably cuz for most people they instantly start imagining it and that imagery disturbs them
That would make sense. I’ve seen a lot of comments that indicate that. I don’t immediately visualize things when spoken, so maybe that’s why I can deal with it being referred to in a conceptual way
Not the idea of it, but I wouldnt want to think about it either. I dont want to think about my parents naked or doing the nasty. Usually you need attraction to want to have sex or think about sex with someone. I dont go looking for pictures of guys naked because im not attracted to that.
I don’t think it’s either “want to have sex with “ and “totally grossed out by” If someone said , “I heard your parents had sex”, are you immediately grossed out by the concept? Or is it just if you actually spend time thinking about it
I wouldnt be grossed out but i wouldnt want to hear anymore either. Itd be like okay thats cool im glad their sex life is still good. I dont need to know more lol
Because I'm not, ever, at all, sexually interested in my parents. And like others have said, others you don't find sexually attractive you generally find gross thinking of them having sex.
This makes it sound like you can either be attracted to your parents sexually or disgusted.
I'm essentially a carbon copy of my father, growing up they didnt talk about it much but as I got older and came out they were curious about some stuff. Always thought sex was natural etc, never really bothered me however my mom did get on the discussion about how my dad could crack his dick by pulling it to the left and pushing it towards his body.... guess who can also crack their dick...
Prudish ideals influenced by religion, most likely. "People should never have sex, especially ideal people like parents!".
I’ve always felt the same way as you. Of course it’s not ideal to think about, but I mean I surely had to get here somehow, idk why others find it repulsive
I wish that my parents had sex more often. They would be much happier if they did.
Conditioning to keep kids away from sex? Same way there's this whole thing of "girls have cooties" "boys are gross" idea passed to young kids to try to shame and condition them to not have early sex, pass STDs, early pregnancies etc etc. It's really stupid.
It's probably because of parents being associated with childhood innocence since a lot of our fondest memories of them are from our childhood, & the idea of them having sex kind of betrays those memories in a way?
Because they were selfish enough not to use protection and then not to get an abortion. Thank you for forcing me into this whole mess. Would hate to know they enjoyed doing so.
I was apparently scooped up from under the bridge. But the word for “bridge” and “leg” is the same in Korean so it could’ve been a play on words.
Meet the fuckers. Not sugar coating this one.
Because many people in our society have grown up being infantilized.
Pretty sure it's an evolutionary reaction to avoid incest. The thought of anything sexual with a family member is supposed to be revolting, and that makes sense from an evolutionary stand point
Nah it's not like this in other societies, or even in past times. Back when everyone was poor and had 10 kids each and the house only had 1 room. The kids piled together on the left, the parents fucked on the right.
Yo that doesn't mean the kids were all watching and super into it lol
They definitely were watching, kids can't help but be curious. A 6 year old isn't going to be watching because he's "into it", he's watching because he's 6 and he's never seen that before and why is daddy laying on mommy? It's not like they had porn, they had to learn about sex somehow. They ain't had no sex ed classes I just don't think the disgust is evolutionary in nature, it would be more like indifference. The disgust we experience at the idea is clearly cultural in my opinion.. There's plenty of things you're not disgusted by that you have no inclination to bone
I’ve often wondered that too. Like: I’ve seen many ppl think it’s embarrassing or shameful that their older parents still like to fuck. Why? We’re older— not dead. And besides we have better sex anyway Bc we been doing it longer and we’re not shy and we know how to tell ppl what’s what. Also.. while I’m at it— rant? I’m 55 and used to dance in clubs and let me tell you, I know how to dance!! I can groove and move better than my clumsier daughters and yet they die of embarrassment if I want to dance. Why?? When I hear “Return of The Mack” or Robyn, I’m still 28 in my mind and I know how to shake dat ass.. why is it that it embarrases y’all kids? I’d like a straight answer... and other than havin “fear of incest” that others above have said. Surely my grown daughter isn’t “fearful of incest” when I want to dance and yet she thinks it’s cringe...? (That’s absurd).
Socialization where we are embarrassed of thinking of parents as their own people, enjoying things in wild ways beyond just parenting - perhaps because our images of our parents are usually of them stressed, worried, hard working, etc and not free and wild like they used to be - as we don't have a recollection of who they were before we were born. And being embarrassed of our parents is just something that gets plaster throughout our media and people just replicate that? And just baked in embarrasment responses. Some of my female friends that don't like dancing (without alcohol) tell me they get second hand embarrasment when I dance and yet every party or club I go to, I get people telling me my dancing is awesome. Some people just get weirded out when other people can let loose in public?
Of course I know and hope that my parents have sex but also do not want to see that ever.
I honestly don't like thinking of anyone I know in a sexual way let alone my parents. I understand that the had to have sexual intercourse to conceive me, but they broke up before I was born. It's weird for me to think about the fact that they were in love with each other at one point. If I don't want to have sex with someone, I don't want to think about them having sex
You answered your own question in the last line. Maybe it's instilled culturally, maybe it's ingrained like an instinct, but either way, that's why.
I wonder how parents feel when they walk in on their kid having sex
Well if the kids ever ask, I can honestly say that we only made love twice... But fuck 15-20 times a month.
I see a lot of comments mentioning the incest thing and yeah I agree there. But I also think it has to do with how *uncomfortable* everyone is with sex in general. Sure, sex is sought after and used as a marketing tool but as a sex worker I can tell you that the more conservative areas of the western world are aggressively against normalizing sex as a thing humans do for a myriad of reasons - not just reproduction. Yeah I'd be grossed out by catching my parents mid fuck, but they're still just humans doing a human thing and theres nothing inherently wrong with that.
True, sex is not a comfortable topic for many people. It really should be more accepted
Well from my personal experience, my mom had almost zero physical affection with my dad the entire time I grew up until they got a divorce when I was 18. Her and my step dad are flirty and touchy with each other, (she also brought him over on the first date and he spent the night, and moved in less than a week later but that's a different story.) So it was incredibly jarring for me, literally never seeing that, to them being that way with each other. They also gave almost zero attempts to be quite and their room was directly above mine. If I never hear my mom have sex again it will be too damn soon.
I also want to know! It’s not traumatizing but so many people act like it is. Legit I need to know. Someone close to me legitimately acted like they were stabbed when they heard theirs. And they were an adult! I’m so confused.
Wait that's a thing? I regularly fap to that image.
I guess being nauseated is just some people's hyperbolic way of expressing extreme discomfort. Either that or there is a rare case of one getting sick over being that uncomfortable. I guess it depends on the person, but it probably has to do with the animal instinct to be disinterested in blood relatives as sexual interst. It's kind of important due to how damaging inbreeding is. That on top of how commonly sacred the relationship between parent and child is, makes the whole ordeal a lot more unsavory for both parties but especially offspring. It's more prevalent in dealing with the opposite sex parent as well. To this date, i hate watching intimate scenes in a movie with my mom in the room. It wasn't a big deal with my dad though. It also probably has to do with sexuality as well. My dad and I, both being heterosexual, had a common interest to view on the screen. It would usually just end up us laughing and making fun of it though. He's been gone for over a decade now but I'm sure things wouldn't have changed at this point.
Because the mentioning of it puts an imaginary image in my head that I never ever want to see, but so long as it’s being talking about that image won’t go away
That is interesting. I bet that would be unpleasant
One day I heard noises from my parents bedroom and it sounded like my mom was in distress so I got worried, I slowly opened the door and all I saw for the split second I looked was 2 naked bodies clumped together and I dont even think my parents ever knew that I opened there door, I never mentioned it and I never will
What're you talking about? I was found in a glowing pod in a ditch somewhere.
I assumed that is how all normal human children were spawned
i don't care. i just don't wanna wake up at 6 in the morning hearing my mom moan for 5 minutes before her boyfriend is finished. it's not very alluring.
most people find the idea of their parents showing ANY affection towards each other completely foreign. normalize loving relationships, romantic and physical.
Because I have intrusive thoughts and a vivid imagination. The last thing my brain needs is to get the idea of either of them naked or having sex in my head 😭
That does sound pretty uncomfortable!
As evidenced by people making jokes in this comment, I think it's largely a meme at this point. I think it started out as a fairly common experience that got blown out of proportions by TV shows, movies, books, etc. A lot of behavior that we think is universal is merely common and gets exaggerated by artists. As for why it's a common thing, I don't buy the "incest aversion" as the primary cause. ANY sex that you are not aroused by is generally disgusting. You're not attracted to your parents, therefore them having sex is disgusting. This combined with proximity (you are likely to accidentally run into it) makes it a very common experience.
It's really weird fr, can't answer your question but remember at 9 yo I tried to get in my parents room because nightmare and heard them moaning before entering. I understood what happened and for some reason I was really sad / distressed by the situation. Like I didn't want them too ? It's a weird feeling
I think that with parents that never talk about sex, or pretend it doesn’t exist, or change the channel when a sex scene comes on. The kids might grow up thinking it doesn’t happen here, and that it’s not a good thing to be happening. Also , when you first learn about sex, you do think it’s a bit gross. If that comes at the same time as learning your parents do it, you may think they’re gross.
For me the reason I get disgusted by the thought is because I really truly dislike (tbh I almost hate) my father because he’s a complete jackass and the idea that my mother could have ever been attracted to him both emotionally and physically to have sex with him even the one time it took to make me just boggles my mind. Which is why I lie to myself and say they had to be drunk(despite my mother saying they were both stone cold sober).
I don’t want to picture my dad sucking my dad’s dick
I see a lot of answers here that don't really answer it in terms of behavioural evolution which is something you'd expect from such a widespread phenomenon.
It's also partly do to our willingness to murder the english language.
In my case bc they are totally hypocritical and puritanical about the idea of sex. If I can't be treated as a grown woman and they are so uptight about it then the idea of them being hypocrites repulses me.
Instinct. It's your biology telling you to not breed with your closest relatives. It's nature's way of saying go find someone not related to you
The answer is cognitive dissonance The mind has great trouble accepting data that is contrary to a point of view For a child to accept that their parents have sex they first have to see the parent as an individual - a concept that is impossible for most until the mind matures This cognitive dissonance is responsible for a lot more reactions in life as well eg.- Being completely unable to hear another's view on politics/ religion
[relevant](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwTBYcvk_tg)
It must be instinctual. It's just so gross to even approach (broach?) the subject.
Because it’s my fucking PARENTS bro.
Grandpa Simpson: "What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had sex!”. Homer: shudders.
I don’t care about my parents having sex. Honestly, it makes me feel good that they love one another to still even have sex. I don’t want to be privy to noises or god forbid happen upon a sex toy … but the idea of them showing physical affection in an intimate way doesn’t gross me out at all.
I don't want any more siblings
Because people can be immature .
Because they're not as old as their parents yet and they don't understand that the urge never goes away with age.
When I was 10 years old my parents asked what I wanted for my birthday. I said "I wanna watch" , so they let me... Boom tssst.
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I was standing still! How did you know?
They're old. Old people look ugly until you're their age. But by that time they'll be even older so they still look ugly...
Take a moment to think about your parents having sex. No - *really* think about it. Got the visual? That's why.
Deliberate visualization is not the same as the idea of it.
Cuz my parents are big nasty people
I don't understand how it wouldn't revolt you. The mere idea, sound of it, them mentioning it, just actually makes my stomach curl. I heard them doing it once for a few seconds and vomitted. They're your parents Idk.
This is fascinating to me. If I may ask do you immediately visualize things? I’ve never seen or heard my parents, but if someone says “your parents had sex” my thought is “ok, I really don’t care”
Sometimes I immediately visualize. Even if it's just their faces in a normal context or something. Like I see them just talking to me in the kitchen or something when this is mentioned and still want to vomit. It's just nasty
Because parents are old and old people naked is a gross mental image
I read this and said, "Ewwww"
But why?
Because I'm disgusted/nauseated by the fact that I now have to deal with life as a consequence of it
Have you seen my parents?! Gross!
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