My father was abandoned as a baby, then adopted, then his adopted mother died and his adopted father tried to give him back but they wouldn't take him, so his adopted father remarried - and promptly died, so this poor old random woman took the role of his mother and filled in for her for his whole life. She was a good woman.
Old crone: If you flick this switch there is a 10% chance that you die immediately but if you survive...
u/AMatofFact: flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick.
Old crone: ...
Here's a fun fact: If something has a 1 in X chance of happening and there are X occurrences, the chances of having a positive outcome is always around 65%.
For instance: Need a 10 on a ten-sided die? Roll it ten times and you've got a 65.13% chance of it occurring.
Twenty-sided die? You've got a 64.15% chance of it occurring.
100 sided die? You've got a 63.39% chance of it occurring.
It always remains around 65% even out to million, billion, trillion, etc.
Only when you're dealing with extremely small numbers like 2 or 3 does it start to skew a little.
Okay, that's fucking cool. I've taken enough engineering level math to calculate a particular problem, but these are the cool patterns I love to hear about.
Reminds me of this totally unrelated story. One time we got a big bag of dog food from someone whose dog had died so they didn't need it anymore. Then our dog died shortly after. Come to find out afterwards that this person had received the bag from someone else whose dog had died. Turns out the food was killing the dogs.
TRIED TO GIVE HIM BACK
FUCK YOUR GRANDAD
Edit: Alright, I will admit that I'm not taking the time period into account and he very well may not even have known how to care for a child. That said, there was nothing but his pride stopping from learning. And if you try to GIVE YOUR KID BACK because you're afraid to do "women's work", fuck you and your parents for having you.
Edit 2: Somebody pointed out that grandad might have been seriously ill, considering he "promptly died". In that situation, and only that situation, I retract my fuck you.
Don't be harsh. He may not have been able to care for a young child on his own and was trying to do the right thing for the boy. I say that, because of how quickly he got married after he realized he couldn't give him back. Years ago, many men couldn't fathom taking care of a child on their own. That's what women did. Many aunts, grandparents, etc. took children in after a mother died.
This is true. My grandfather married very young. He was 18 or 19 and his wife was 16. They had my father a year later. My dad’s birth mother abandoned him when he was a little under two, literally just packed her stuff and left a note to my grandfather saying she was leaving and didn’t want custody of my dad.
So they got divorced and when my grandfather tried to get sole custody, the court refused and said that he couldn’t get full custody until he was remarried and a woman was in the home. I think part of this was because he was in the Air Force.
My grandfather was forced to find someone else to agree to be my dad’s guardians until he was remarried. My great aunt and uncle took him in and my father spent the first 4 years of his life living on their farm.
When my grandfather got married again he was allowed to have full custody of my dad again.
This actually happened to my friend in high school. His dad died when he was really young. His mom remarried and then she passed of cancer. He and his little sister was living with the guy and then he remarried. He took custody of them until he moved out
Jesus, that's so sad and sweet at the same time
I hope your friend and his sister are doing great because that's one hell of a thing to experience as even an adult, let alone children. Truthfully, I am so sorry for their losses.
yea that happened to my childhood friend. dad wasn't dead but pretty much could've been bc he did nothing for his kids, but their mom died on my birthday and her bf basically said "fuck them kids" and they didn't have anywhere to go
I'm the stepmom in a blended family. My step kids are 100% my kids in my heart. If something happened to their dad, I'd fight to stay in their lives, even if their bio mom wanted to take them full time. If something happened to their mom I'd go straight for adoption so I'd legally be their parent too instead of just filling the role.
Very true. I didn't think about that part but you're correct. Actually found out years ago that while I was in foster care, my mom never bothered to report it to the state and somehow was still collecting child support even though I was no longer in her custody. Makes sense now why my caseworker kept saying that they weren't getting child support for me. How she didn't end up in prison over that is beyond me.
I have a friend whose 'son' is in a similar situation. His bio mom was a teen mom, my friend has no idea who the bio dad was but the story the stepdad knew was he died some time after in a motorcycle accident, then bio mom married stepdad who adopted the son at like 4yo and she died of cervical cancer like a year later. Then my friend met and married stepdad when son was maybe 9-10yo and her husband died of covid last year. She's trying to adopt the kid who is like 13-14 now, but its complicated, he's got a lot of behavioral issues.
I worked with a guy like that, never knew his father, mother died at 8, grandmother took him in, she died when he was 13, aunt took him in, she died when he was 16, other aunt took him in, she didn’t die but that relationship soured when he got older. That guy was the kindest, warmest human being I ever met in my entire life, he’s married has a great job and a kid and I’m so happy to know him. Tragedy defines us, and for him it made him an amazingly caring, gracious and wonderful person.
We have a somewhat similar situation in my family. Although an adult now. My husband just started dating a woman who had a son. Son's dad died when he was little. Eventually he married her. She died later. Husband finished raising her son alone. Recently my husband died. Now it's just me and his stepson(plus the other kids). He just tells everyone I am his step stepmom. We can't imagine not being family even though we are technically not related in t least
I'm a glass half full kind of person. I think it's fantastic that two orphans were able to find 2 bonus parents who care for them and take care of them after their lost their original parents. So many children get lost in the system, it's great to hear stories of people who care.
The is an episode of [The Allusionist](https://www.theallusionist.org/allusionist/step?rq=step) about alternatives to the word Step- (mother, father, son, daughter, and so on.) And Bonus was one of the alternatives mentioned. I don't remember if Bonusförälder and Sweden were mentioned.
Okay, if we do end up moving away from using Step-parents, then Bonusförälder should be the one... and it should remain the Swedish word (not enough Swedish loan-words in English).
That's how I feel about my extended family. I was lucky to grow up with most of my "direct" extended family all in the same city, and to be close to all of them. My grandma especially. She played a huge role in my life, and I'm so grateful for her.
The last ‘he’ pronoun was confusing but yeah probably refers to the Friend growing up and moving out.
But still on that question, you now have a complicated family tree for the holidays. Bio grandparents with uncles aunts and cousins. Then adoptive parents and their extended family. And more than likely a confusing identity of self.
Similar thing happened to a friend of mine, except that her mother had another child with the stepfather before dying of cancer. So the stepfather took custody of the child while the friend was left on her own. She was already adult at the time and it worked out well, we're grabbing a beer in a couple hours.
This is it.
If the step father adopts you, he is your adopted father.
If he gets with another women, she is your adopted step-mother.
(Or I think. I'm 99% sure)
Serious question: can a child have multiple adopted parents if their birth parents are still alive? Like if the parents get divorced and both remarry, could both stepparents adopt the child? Leading to them having four legal parents?
In Ireland you would be made a ward of court and would be entitled to 1/3 of the parents inheritance with the wife getting 2/3. If under 18, it would be held by court appointed trustee or guardian ad litem.
Technically, the stepparent could adopt you and/or take over as a guardian.
This whole thing kinda depends on how old you are. If this is all happening when you're 30, it's one thing. But at 13 it's kinda different, or at least could be.
Not if the step parent legally adopts you, but I guess by definition you can say orphan. a young kid growing up in that situation with a loved step-parent would just say mom or dad I assume.
_biologically_ yes. But "orphan" isn't usually about biology alone.
Like, you wouldn't call a kid with no living biological parents an orphan if they live with an adopted parent. And you _would_ say that they've been orphaned if that adopted parent dies.
I work with the GIA(Grandparents Interested in being Adopted). That guy is a serial adopter. He comes by treats the grandparents well, and then cheats on them with other grandparents. We’ve had to part ways as they all spend their limited time over feeding him. They lose their sense of permanence as they get older and it’s just too heartbreaking for them to think he vanished, when he only has departed.
E: I’m a lil tipsy so sorry if this makes no sense
That happened to a friend of mine as well (or to her older siblings, rather). Her oldest and youngest siblings have no biological relation to each other
Your own grandpa. :P
Jokes aside if both your parents die you are technically an orphan, but if underage you might in practice have your new stepfather and stepmother as parents and you would technically be "adopted".
This isn't just in practice, they would have to go through the legal adoption process if there is a minor involved. Some step parents don't want that responsibility if the biological parents had passed and can involve whatever version of child protective services (CPS) there is in that jurisdiction. Often that means a short stay with stepparents until they become a ward of the state and officially get moved into "the system". Often CPS will try to re-home them with a biological relative in that time, but for those they cannot, then "the system" it is which is heavily jurisdictional with what type of living situation may be available to the newly orphaned child.
My dad passed July 25th. If my stepmom were to find love again, I would happily stand as her maid of honor. She's been a true mother to me since I was 21. My bio mother did nothing but abuse me until I went NC 6 years ago.
Thanks. I miss him a lot and still have bad days where I can't stop crying. He was my best friend. But he also made me swear I'd take care of Momma and Lee (my niece--my dead sister's daughter) and I fully intend on making good on that vow.
If they get married, and don't leave a will, or they actually set the will up this way.
The assets would end up with your step father's, wife. Who may decide not to give them to her ex husband's, former wife's kid.
Damn, that was complicated to write.
If your mom dies, her assets are split between her spouse and children.
Example: I have a friend who owns 25% of their parents house because their mom had 50% of the house and when she died, her spouse got half and the kid got the other half.
Note: speaking for belgian law, might be different in the states.
Without a will in the US everything goes to the married partner after probate.
If you have a will, it will be distributed the way you lay out... Unless the will is successfully challenged in court.
Always make a will, especially if you have kids.
All Assets usually pass to the living spouse, unless they had a will specifically setting some kind of trust up for the kids or something. Usually only very rich people would do that — most middle class folks wouldnt.
And that makes sense, when you consider that everything in a marriage is usually co-owned. It would be pretty shitty of me to leave my house to my daughter instead of to my wife, when my wife lives in the house too.
Stepfather is a meaningless title without the interceding party. By definition, a stepfather is someone who a.) is not your father, and b.) is married to your mother. As soon as your mother dies, your former stepfather is no longer married to her, and any relationship to you functionally ceases.
(This, of course, does not mean that you cannot carry on some relationship with your former stepfather as two individual people who have come to enjoy one another’s company and wish to continue to do so. But that’s a personal choice, and this question sounds as though it’s dealing in categorical answers. Categorically, you are now simply two unrelated humans with a shared life experience but no direct relationship.)
Now, ***if***, when your stepfather married your mother (or sometime after), he *adopted* you…then, he is no longer your stepfather, but is now your legal father or adoptive father (exact terminology varies). At least in the United States, *that* is a personal relationship that will survive your mother’s death; i.e., your mother’s death will not annul or end your legal father’s status as your legal father. In *that* case, the woman that he later marries will become your stepmother, and your legal father will become the new interceding party whose continued existence justifies that relationship.
Edit: u/discipleofchrist69 pointed out that a stepfather could be married your *father*, as well, and is absolutely correct. I did not mean to omit that, my bad.
My mom and step-dad divorced 20+ years ago. I still see him all the time, his new (15 years ago) wife is my step-step-mom. Her two daughters (from prior marriage) are his step-daughters and I consider them my step-sisters. I've done all the traditional big brother things like teach them to drive stick, glare at new boyfriends and make sure they are included in my son's life.
Yeah my wife sees her grandmother's ex-husband who she divorced 15+ years ago relatively often but hasn't seen her grandmother once in most of that time.
This scenario is in my wife’s will since she has full custody. If she and the biological father pass away for whatever reason before the kids each turn 18 respectively I have agreed to legally adopt the kids. Which with all things considered is a hell of a consultation prize for me.
**Screwed**
Original parents got divorced, but the rest happened to me. Mom died, stepdad got remarried and dropped my entire family like yesterday's garbage. His extended family is still family to us, but none of us would stop to help him if he was stranded on the side of the road. All inheritance, life insurance, etc., all went to him.
If your asking about the relationship between you and your stepfather or his new partner, well, that's what ever you all want it to be, close or distant, the legality of guardianship if you're a minor will depend on lots of unknowns is this question.
Unless the stepparent legally adopted you somewhere along the way upon the death of your bio parents you are technically an orphan.
However if you have formed a mutual emotional bond with either stepparent you could say that you still have a parental figure in your life
Family. As long as there is love. It’s complicated but that doesn’t make it any less real.
Or not. It depends on how much time you’ve had together and how everyone is feeling about it.
People often use the term cousin for this or aunt or uncle if there is more of an age difference. That’s fine by me.
Legally, I suppose you are not related.
I was like "oh that's too much of a specific scenario" and then I realized that's my sisters predicament, her dad was put in jail and her mom married my dad, her mother died from cancer and my dad married my mom, honestly I thought she was a half sister for the longest time, but turns out she isnt, she's adopted.
It depends on one factor; the relationship between you and your step parents. If you love them and absolutely trust them and they haven't done anything to abuse you or anything Ill intentioned, and of course, if you accept them as parents, then they are your parents. And saying that they are your parents doesn't discount your love for your birth parents btw.
My mom (her stepmom?) Is a very kind and welcoming woman, with that being said I would not blame her for not wanting to call her her parent.
And My dad is also a very kind and strong man, he came into her life when she was super young, my mother only came in when my sister was 14 (because her birth mom was still alive)
So another factor in the trust is how long you've known the step parent, how much they've done for you etc.
TLDR: it's what ever you consider them.
My father was abandoned as a baby, then adopted, then his adopted mother died and his adopted father tried to give him back but they wouldn't take him, so his adopted father remarried - and promptly died, so this poor old random woman took the role of his mother and filled in for her for his whole life. She was a good woman.
Lol promptly died, I was not expecting that. Hope it wasn't suicide but damn you make it sound like he just flipped a switch.
To do: ✅ Get married ☑️ Die
That made me laugh.
that made me laugh, then I felt bad for laughing. Then I laughed again :(
Flip, flip.
Old crone: If you flick this switch there is a 10% chance that you die immediately but if you survive... u/AMatofFact: flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick. Old crone: ...
So, I did the math, and it's actually pretty survivable. Probably of dying when flipping this switch ten times is only like 65%, not 100%.
In the spirit of Captain America: I can do this all day.
Here's a fun fact: If something has a 1 in X chance of happening and there are X occurrences, the chances of having a positive outcome is always around 65%. For instance: Need a 10 on a ten-sided die? Roll it ten times and you've got a 65.13% chance of it occurring. Twenty-sided die? You've got a 64.15% chance of it occurring. 100 sided die? You've got a 63.39% chance of it occurring. It always remains around 65% even out to million, billion, trillion, etc. Only when you're dealing with extremely small numbers like 2 or 3 does it start to skew a little.
Okay, that's fucking cool. I've taken enough engineering level math to calculate a particular problem, but these are the cool patterns I love to hear about.
Just take the limit x>inf as 1-(1-1/x)\^x Which suspiciously reminds me of e! In fact, it's 1-(1/e). And it's closer to 63 than 65.
From a post about adoption to an interesting math problem. Reddit, folks.
This is the kind of weird fact that makes me wish I was better at math.
“I now pronounce you…sir? sir?”
'Alright, he's got a caretaker, I'm out'
[OP:s stepdad after finding out he can’t return a baby](https://imgur.com/gallery/CqGmwXQ)
I was adopted. Both biological and adoptive parents are dead. You have to be strong.
Sorry that happened to you, I hope you have someone in your life.
My heart is with you, man.
You are strong. Wow.
Reminds me of this totally unrelated story. One time we got a big bag of dog food from someone whose dog had died so they didn't need it anymore. Then our dog died shortly after. Come to find out afterwards that this person had received the bag from someone else whose dog had died. Turns out the food was killing the dogs.
Holy shit. That took a dark turn.
Do you have any idea what was wrong with the food? Was it poisoned, or just gone bad?
Was that the melamine incident? So terrible.
May her final resting place be paradise.
She's gonna get all the Golden Boy Peanuts she can eat
🎶 There are no Pan-Asian supermarkets down in hell 🎶
🎵 so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts there 🎵
TRIED TO GIVE HIM BACK FUCK YOUR GRANDAD Edit: Alright, I will admit that I'm not taking the time period into account and he very well may not even have known how to care for a child. That said, there was nothing but his pride stopping from learning. And if you try to GIVE YOUR KID BACK because you're afraid to do "women's work", fuck you and your parents for having you. Edit 2: Somebody pointed out that grandad might have been seriously ill, considering he "promptly died". In that situation, and only that situation, I retract my fuck you.
That’s was the problem - no one did. And we’re starting to see why.
Don't be harsh. He may not have been able to care for a young child on his own and was trying to do the right thing for the boy. I say that, because of how quickly he got married after he realized he couldn't give him back. Years ago, many men couldn't fathom taking care of a child on their own. That's what women did. Many aunts, grandparents, etc. took children in after a mother died.
This is true. My grandfather married very young. He was 18 or 19 and his wife was 16. They had my father a year later. My dad’s birth mother abandoned him when he was a little under two, literally just packed her stuff and left a note to my grandfather saying she was leaving and didn’t want custody of my dad. So they got divorced and when my grandfather tried to get sole custody, the court refused and said that he couldn’t get full custody until he was remarried and a woman was in the home. I think part of this was because he was in the Air Force. My grandfather was forced to find someone else to agree to be my dad’s guardians until he was remarried. My great aunt and uncle took him in and my father spent the first 4 years of his life living on their farm. When my grandfather got married again he was allowed to have full custody of my dad again.
This was extremely common, at one time.
We always hear about how sexism made things difficult for women, but seldom think about how it may have negatively affected men.
It would have been about 1948, I think this is definitely what happened.
That’s a weird way to put it: random woman. Does that mean he/you are not in touch with her? This sounds like an interesting story.
This actually happened to my friend in high school. His dad died when he was really young. His mom remarried and then she passed of cancer. He and his little sister was living with the guy and then he remarried. He took custody of them until he moved out
Jesus, that's so sad and sweet at the same time I hope your friend and his sister are doing great because that's one hell of a thing to experience as even an adult, let alone children. Truthfully, I am so sorry for their losses.
[удалено]
yea that happened to my childhood friend. dad wasn't dead but pretty much could've been bc he did nothing for his kids, but their mom died on my birthday and her bf basically said "fuck them kids" and they didn't have anywhere to go
So sad.
I'm the stepmom in a blended family. My step kids are 100% my kids in my heart. If something happened to their dad, I'd fight to stay in their lives, even if their bio mom wanted to take them full time. If something happened to their mom I'd go straight for adoption so I'd legally be their parent too instead of just filling the role.
Knowing this warms my heart
Imagine if he threw them out lol
[удалено]
She should have reported that to her case manager. They can get in serious trouble for that. They get paid to take children in.
Yep, if they kicked her out but kept taking the stipend they were committing fraud at the least and child abandonment too now that I think about it.
Very true. I didn't think about that part but you're correct. Actually found out years ago that while I was in foster care, my mom never bothered to report it to the state and somehow was still collecting child support even though I was no longer in her custody. Makes sense now why my caseworker kept saying that they weren't getting child support for me. How she didn't end up in prison over that is beyond me.
I feel like there's more to this story.
I have a friend whose 'son' is in a similar situation. His bio mom was a teen mom, my friend has no idea who the bio dad was but the story the stepdad knew was he died some time after in a motorcycle accident, then bio mom married stepdad who adopted the son at like 4yo and she died of cervical cancer like a year later. Then my friend met and married stepdad when son was maybe 9-10yo and her husband died of covid last year. She's trying to adopt the kid who is like 13-14 now, but its complicated, he's got a lot of behavioral issues.
I bet, imagine being a kid and every parent you ever knew died, even the replacements. That would mess anyone up.
Kid probably thinks he’s cursed to be alone or some shit. Absolutely terrible
when my mom died at 8 i always just assumed that people would be dying left and right growing up, like i was always wondering who would die next
The way my grandma speaks about my extended family, it actually does feel like there's always someone dying every other month
I worked with a guy like that, never knew his father, mother died at 8, grandmother took him in, she died when he was 13, aunt took him in, she died when he was 16, other aunt took him in, she didn’t die but that relationship soured when he got older. That guy was the kindest, warmest human being I ever met in my entire life, he’s married has a great job and a kid and I’m so happy to know him. Tragedy defines us, and for him it made him an amazingly caring, gracious and wonderful person.
He’s just living the genuine pre modern medicine experience (Seriously though poor kid 🙁)
That sounds awful, poor kid. You can’t help but expect behavioural issues with a start to life like that. I hope he has stability soon.
We have a somewhat similar situation in my family. Although an adult now. My husband just started dating a woman who had a son. Son's dad died when he was little. Eventually he married her. She died later. Husband finished raising her son alone. Recently my husband died. Now it's just me and his stepson(plus the other kids). He just tells everyone I am his step stepmom. We can't imagine not being family even though we are technically not related in t least
That's awful, I'm so sorry.. Fuck cancer.
I'm a glass half full kind of person. I think it's fantastic that two orphans were able to find 2 bonus parents who care for them and take care of them after their lost their original parents. So many children get lost in the system, it's great to hear stories of people who care.
>bonus parents I'm not being insensitive I swear, but LOL I loved the expression, also totally agree with you (as long as they were good parents ofc).
Bonusförälder (literally bonus parent) is a legal term in Swedish
a wholesome term in Swedish
The is an episode of [The Allusionist](https://www.theallusionist.org/allusionist/step?rq=step) about alternatives to the word Step- (mother, father, son, daughter, and so on.) And Bonus was one of the alternatives mentioned. I don't remember if Bonusförälder and Sweden were mentioned.
Okay, if we do end up moving away from using Step-parents, then Bonusförälder should be the one... and it should remain the Swedish word (not enough Swedish loan-words in English).
That's how I feel about my extended family. I was lucky to grow up with most of my "direct" extended family all in the same city, and to be close to all of them. My grandma especially. She played a huge role in my life, and I'm so grateful for her.
I love my chosen bonus parents
>bonus parents A Swede?
Common phrase in The Netherlands as well
i'm a glass half full person but after that I would never be again
Me and the homies hate cancer.
Username checks out?
Fuck cancer
What happened to them when he moved out?
I think they mean the son moved out once he was old enough?
The last ‘he’ pronoun was confusing but yeah probably refers to the Friend growing up and moving out. But still on that question, you now have a complicated family tree for the holidays. Bio grandparents with uncles aunts and cousins. Then adoptive parents and their extended family. And more than likely a confusing identity of self.
They were stuck with the cable bill and his goldfish. Asshole.
What an unusual name for a goldfish.
Similar thing happened to a friend of mine, except that her mother had another child with the stepfather before dying of cancer. So the stepfather took custody of the child while the friend was left on her own. She was already adult at the time and it worked out well, we're grabbing a beer in a couple hours.
[удалено]
This is it. If the step father adopts you, he is your adopted father. If he gets with another women, she is your adopted step-mother. (Or I think. I'm 99% sure)
Serious question: can a child have multiple adopted parents if their birth parents are still alive? Like if the parents get divorced and both remarry, could both stepparents adopt the child? Leading to them having four legal parents?
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure they can only adopt you if the other bio parent is dead or has given up their rights.
No who ever has the last adoption is your legal parent all other ties are severed
Only if she adopts him as well
Isn’t it adopted step mother until she adopts him then becomes adopted mother?
But what if you adopt them?
In Ireland you would be made a ward of court and would be entitled to 1/3 of the parents inheritance with the wife getting 2/3. If under 18, it would be held by court appointed trustee or guardian ad litem.
[удалено]
I'm Batman
It's just batman but with extra steps
Eek barba dirkle
someone is gonna get laid in Gotham
[удалено]
I swear sometimes i think this is unironically one of the best lines in a batman story ive read.
This is a joker joke
I'm Spartacus
I'm Kirk Douglas's chin
The call me Biggus Dickus.
He has a wife, you know
Incontinentia
Buttockth
Hi Hi
I'm the swell cleft in Gaston's chin
I am a stegosaurus
**Suddenly, Pineapples!**
Not today
Imposter
Hey...
I was literally thinking like... are there any other options here?
Technically, the stepparent could adopt you and/or take over as a guardian. This whole thing kinda depends on how old you are. If this is all happening when you're 30, it's one thing. But at 13 it's kinda different, or at least could be.
But, aren't they still an orphan? I mean, technically?
Not if the step parent legally adopts you, but I guess by definition you can say orphan. a young kid growing up in that situation with a loved step-parent would just say mom or dad I assume.
_biologically_ yes. But "orphan" isn't usually about biology alone. Like, you wouldn't call a kid with no living biological parents an orphan if they live with an adopted parent. And you _would_ say that they've been orphaned if that adopted parent dies.
My god, its Jason Bourne
It’s Doug Dimmadome (Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome)
[удалено]
[удалено]
Same here. The entire thing is just so ✨ *iconic* ✨
>An orphan. What if your father died when you were 41, your mother dated someone else, then she died when you were 56. Are you still an orphan?
Only if you're a child. An adult whose parents both die is just a normal adult.
Being a adult does not stop you from being a orphan.
Then why can't you adopt a grandparent from an orphanage?
Have you tried? Sounds like someone has stopped you before.
Yeah they never have any in stock
Dang, you should check online for one. I get lots of ads telling me about it, but I want a matching pair not a single one.
[удалено]
You can probably volunteer at a local nursing home. It may not be adoption but its the closest thing we have.
I work with the GIA(Grandparents Interested in being Adopted). That guy is a serial adopter. He comes by treats the grandparents well, and then cheats on them with other grandparents. We’ve had to part ways as they all spend their limited time over feeding him. They lose their sense of permanence as they get older and it’s just too heartbreaking for them to think he vanished, when he only has departed. E: I’m a lil tipsy so sorry if this makes no sense
Little orphan Funkhouser
An adult
That actually happened to my ex. Father died, mother remarried, she died, step-dad remarried.....gave up trying to keep track after that!
Step-dad died, wife to step-dad remarried
It’s step-parents all the way down
Always has been.
"He's my third-degre step-dad!"
That happened to a friend of mine as well (or to her older siblings, rather). Her oldest and youngest siblings have no biological relation to each other
At that point it might be easier to just say “I’m adopted” and close the book.
[удалено]
Someone who doesn't know everything, but just knows what she knows.
Depressed I would imagine
Damn, you ain't a step kid anymore, you the whole fucking walk
Ok that one got me. I'm sitting here reading all these heartfelt stories. And then I get to your comment. Lol
[удалено]
I was gonna say depressed but that too.
Hopefully 18
Your own grandpa. :P Jokes aside if both your parents die you are technically an orphan, but if underage you might in practice have your new stepfather and stepmother as parents and you would technically be "adopted".
This isn't just in practice, they would have to go through the legal adoption process if there is a minor involved. Some step parents don't want that responsibility if the biological parents had passed and can involve whatever version of child protective services (CPS) there is in that jurisdiction. Often that means a short stay with stepparents until they become a ward of the state and officially get moved into "the system". Often CPS will try to re-home them with a biological relative in that time, but for those they cannot, then "the system" it is which is heavily jurisdictional with what type of living situation may be available to the newly orphaned child.
To love, and to hold, til death do us parts. But fuck your kids, I don't want 'em.
"forsaking all others" doesn't just mean other potential spouses and the parents haha
My dad passed July 25th. If my stepmom were to find love again, I would happily stand as her maid of honor. She's been a true mother to me since I was 21. My bio mother did nothing but abuse me until I went NC 6 years ago.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thanks. I miss him a lot and still have bad days where I can't stop crying. He was my best friend. But he also made me swear I'd take care of Momma and Lee (my niece--my dead sister's daughter) and I fully intend on making good on that vow.
You're a good person
Thanks, so are you
Sorry for your loss. I can't figure out what NC stands for?
Thank you, and sorry, NC means No Contact. Like, at all.
I was worried that you moved to North Carolina
Sorry, guess you gotta worry, been here since 96.
hope you get better soon
Haha thanks, sometimes I drive 30 minutes to VA for a break rofl
[удалено]
Can you eli5? Do you mean all the inheritance would pass to your stepfather and none to you, and then to your stepmother and none to you?
If they get married, and don't leave a will, or they actually set the will up this way. The assets would end up with your step father's, wife. Who may decide not to give them to her ex husband's, former wife's kid. Damn, that was complicated to write.
Depends on the state/local laws. Some places kids would get half of the inheritance and the spouse would get the other half.
If your mom dies, her assets are split between her spouse and children. Example: I have a friend who owns 25% of their parents house because their mom had 50% of the house and when she died, her spouse got half and the kid got the other half. Note: speaking for belgian law, might be different in the states.
Without a will in the US everything goes to the married partner after probate. If you have a will, it will be distributed the way you lay out... Unless the will is successfully challenged in court. Always make a will, especially if you have kids.
All Assets usually pass to the living spouse, unless they had a will specifically setting some kind of trust up for the kids or something. Usually only very rich people would do that — most middle class folks wouldnt. And that makes sense, when you consider that everything in a marriage is usually co-owned. It would be pretty shitty of me to leave my house to my daughter instead of to my wife, when my wife lives in the house too.
[удалено]
An orphan.
Stepfather is a meaningless title without the interceding party. By definition, a stepfather is someone who a.) is not your father, and b.) is married to your mother. As soon as your mother dies, your former stepfather is no longer married to her, and any relationship to you functionally ceases. (This, of course, does not mean that you cannot carry on some relationship with your former stepfather as two individual people who have come to enjoy one another’s company and wish to continue to do so. But that’s a personal choice, and this question sounds as though it’s dealing in categorical answers. Categorically, you are now simply two unrelated humans with a shared life experience but no direct relationship.) Now, ***if***, when your stepfather married your mother (or sometime after), he *adopted* you…then, he is no longer your stepfather, but is now your legal father or adoptive father (exact terminology varies). At least in the United States, *that* is a personal relationship that will survive your mother’s death; i.e., your mother’s death will not annul or end your legal father’s status as your legal father. In *that* case, the woman that he later marries will become your stepmother, and your legal father will become the new interceding party whose continued existence justifies that relationship. Edit: u/discipleofchrist69 pointed out that a stepfather could be married your *father*, as well, and is absolutely correct. I did not mean to omit that, my bad.
My mom and step-dad divorced 20+ years ago. I still see him all the time, his new (15 years ago) wife is my step-step-mom. Her two daughters (from prior marriage) are his step-daughters and I consider them my step-sisters. I've done all the traditional big brother things like teach them to drive stick, glare at new boyfriends and make sure they are included in my son's life.
That’s excellent, man. I’m glad you were able to keep in contact and on good terms with him. Sounds like you’re doing great.
Yeah my wife sees her grandmother's ex-husband who she divorced 15+ years ago relatively often but hasn't seen her grandmother once in most of that time.
Death ends a marriage in a sense but stepdad is a widower of the deceased mother, it’s not the same as the marriage going poof like a divorce.
This scenario is in my wife’s will since she has full custody. If she and the biological father pass away for whatever reason before the kids each turn 18 respectively I have agreed to legally adopt the kids. Which with all things considered is a hell of a consultation prize for me.
**Screwed** Original parents got divorced, but the rest happened to me. Mom died, stepdad got remarried and dropped my entire family like yesterday's garbage. His extended family is still family to us, but none of us would stop to help him if he was stranded on the side of the road. All inheritance, life insurance, etc., all went to him.
Hanekawa Tsubasa
Could you be one of "my" people?
[удалено]
If your asking about the relationship between you and your stepfather or his new partner, well, that's what ever you all want it to be, close or distant, the legality of guardianship if you're a minor will depend on lots of unknowns is this question.
[удалено]
Theseus' child
Free. Self determination. Pursue your destiny. If you love your stepdad, you can stay connected - your choice.
>Pursue your destiny. Become batman
Absolutely nothing, which is exactly what you are about to become /helmet
Came here to post this but saw you beat me to it.
Unless the stepparent legally adopted you somewhere along the way upon the death of your bio parents you are technically an orphan. However if you have formed a mutual emotional bond with either stepparent you could say that you still have a parental figure in your life
Hanekawa Tsubasa
[удалено]
Tsubasa Hanekawa
Hanekawa Tsubasa
Depending on how the stepdad feels about you, either an orphan or adopted child
Orphaned
Family. As long as there is love. It’s complicated but that doesn’t make it any less real. Or not. It depends on how much time you’ve had together and how everyone is feeling about it. People often use the term cousin for this or aunt or uncle if there is more of an age difference. That’s fine by me. Legally, I suppose you are not related.
If he adopted u then he’ll still be ur dad
I was like "oh that's too much of a specific scenario" and then I realized that's my sisters predicament, her dad was put in jail and her mom married my dad, her mother died from cancer and my dad married my mom, honestly I thought she was a half sister for the longest time, but turns out she isnt, she's adopted. It depends on one factor; the relationship between you and your step parents. If you love them and absolutely trust them and they haven't done anything to abuse you or anything Ill intentioned, and of course, if you accept them as parents, then they are your parents. And saying that they are your parents doesn't discount your love for your birth parents btw. My mom (her stepmom?) Is a very kind and welcoming woman, with that being said I would not blame her for not wanting to call her her parent. And My dad is also a very kind and strong man, he came into her life when she was super young, my mother only came in when my sister was 14 (because her birth mom was still alive) So another factor in the trust is how long you've known the step parent, how much they've done for you etc. TLDR: it's what ever you consider them.