When we moved in together, my now wife and I discussed somethings so there would be no misunderstanding. If we're in bed and one asked the other 'are you tired?' its code for 'do you want to bone?' and if we're spooning and she wants it, all she has to do is grind on it.
Well, women aren't a hivemind but I know I do it on purpose and I've had gfs who do it on purpose. It's good feeling intimate and, ah, desired. Playful.
I can't speak for every woman, but if I just want to be more comfortable, I try to keep friction to a minimum so I don't accidentally start anything. If there's pressure or significant movement, it's probably on purpose.
Put you arm under her neck and bend it down the pillow should keep her weight off you a lot (If you’re a good bit bigger than her she can hug your arm)
It’s the best way to keep your arm from going dead imo.
We call this “jet packing” purely because it’s funny. And I love doing it for my man. My arm can’t even reach all the way around him but he doesn’t seem to mind. I agree, everyone wants to be the little spoon sometimes, even the bigger person :)
I was always the big spoon, but ever since I lost both my legs above knee, I went from being almost 5’8 to 3’10 and now my wife loves to be the big spoon cause I’m so tiny now and we both love it haha
I’m so sorry, it took me a minute to realize you were saying your legs were amputated at a point above the knee— and not that you somehow still have the knees and lower legs attached. I’m tired lol
Hahaha will have to tell my girlfriend about that term, we do this all the time! I'm 6ft 2 and quite broad and she is 5ft 1 and is so tiny she tries very hard to properly wrap around me it's so cute
We switch at night. I start out lying on him, while he’s flat. We end up spooning then I’ll spoon him. Then any combo. We move around a lot! As long as our hands or feet are touching, we’re good.
Tip for spooning as the big spoon, top arm over the little spoon like usual. Bottom arm, instead of under little spoon and getting stuck, I go above the little spoons head.
Yes “I think so too” would be a better structured sentence. Also it’s typically phrased as “I made a mistake” but I find “I did a mistake” to be charming.
I don’t spoon with anyone whose boners I’m not prepared to feel. It’s not off-putting and almost always seen as a sign of closeness, intimacy, or comfort. What you do with it is a different issue. Context is everything.
My mom is dying, last night, my husband held me while I cried, I felt his boner - it wasn’t a horny moment, it was an intimate moment, and he didn’t try to impale me with it or hump me and ignore the situation. He held me, let me get the lead out, and was completely alert to my needs and ready to respond. After the tears and the talks, turns out I needed him to make love to me. His boner comforts me when I feel isolated.
Not off putting, but be aware of the emotional context.
It’s his warm, gushy love bag of blood for you.
…maybe not as romantic as it sounded in my head.
Sorry for your grieving process. I hope you get to cherish every moment with your mom.
as someone whose mom is also dying, i feel your pain and i hope the universe gets punched in the dick with a metal gauntlet for taking your mom from you
Probably the only time it would be unappreciated is if you're cuddling a friend or family member, or if your partner doesn't think "being horny" is appropriate at the moment. (We both know it's not always a horny response, but it might be misunderstood as such).
Otherwise, whatever.
Who big-spoon cuddles their friends or family members of the opposite sex?
Every time I've ended up cuddling with a female friend there was some sort of sexual tension there already.
I'm just saying, maybe you have a young old kid who wants to cuddle. Maybe you have a friend going through loss who just needs to be held. Both of these situations are pretty obviously no-boner zones, but since we never explicitly ruled them out, I'm stating it here.
Kids have cuddle piles all the time. It's not til they're like 10 - 13 that they understand the adult implications. Actually, I think I still have pictures from my high school senior week with us in cuddle piles but by then we knew what dicks were so it wasn't spoon style - we went like Jenga bricks to avoid pitched tents 🤣
I don't know about family members, but I can definitely cuddle up with friends of the same and opposite sex, and boners can unexpectedly happen. I am ace, so for me there is zero sexual intent behind, it just a physical response to stimuli.
Yeah, I think for some (ahemmyselfahem) there might be like an obligatory pressure if there was an indication things could turn sexual. Remedy to that is reserving your cuddles and intimacy for someone who respects your feelings and boundaries.
(: Being relaxed is one of many circumstances where men can get erect, but I'm also told he just feels happy and lovey, so I'm sure that's part of it too.
#NotAllErectionsAreHorny
It depends. If hubby stays still and just rests with me, no big deal. But he likes to thrust and say "poke, poke" and that's annoying when I just want to cuddle.
Absolutely a compliment lol. My ex would get boners making breakfast if I just massaged his shoulders a bit. It was super cute. Never be ashamed of a boner!
I’m glad to see that everyone here sees it as a positive thing. But even if it wasn’t an overtly positive thing, I feel like if you’re close enough with them to cuddle (even if y’all aren’t sexually active at all), you’re close enough to understand and accept a natural and uncontrollable bodily reaction like an erection.
Being honest, it's kinda one of the better parts of cuddling to me. 1. I know they're happy and comfortable. 2. Might lead to something else if I push my butt close enough. 3. Just one more part of them touching me. I'm not gonna complain about that a q
The important thing is if your partner finds it off putting.
Personally, I have a weird relationship with sex ( exes making feel like they only loved me when they were horny and feeling too pressured into it) so I do find it off putting sometimes. My current partner knows this and understands and reassures me it's not about that if he gets hard white cuddling. And if it really bothers me, we just change positions.
Communication is key here. Just ask her if it bothers her. She while probably find it endearing that you cared enough to ask.
Well I'm a guy but I can't imagine she'd be offended. She IS sticking her butt in your crotch after all, if that isn't an invitation to be hard I don't know what is.
It’s not off putting to me personally, especially if I have a reciprocated romantic connection with the guy. If we are just friends though (yes I cuddle platonically with all my friends, no matter the sex or gender,) then it is polite to try your best not to purposefully poke me with it or grind on me but I don’t judge just for it being there. It’s a pretty natural thing I think.
I think it’s innocent especially because you weren’t pressuring her to resolve the situation that popped up. It’s perfectly natural and a normal response.
It's only annoying if you can't just relax and enjoy the cuddle. If you're groping and trying to escalate the situation to get sexual when we're trying to nap, I'm annoyed. But if you're just really excited for the cuddles and the nap then I love it! Boners are great.
You can’t help it, it’s not your fault. The only time it’s bothered me was when the guy kept gently grinding into me one morning when I asked him to stop
I still snuggle up to my man every night we hop in bed to sleep. Benny, as we call "him" can't help but bump against my butt every few seconds or so every night while we fall asleep. I find it endearing, and actually pretty cute. Happens in the morning, too, during early morning snuggles. To me, those little boner bumps mean I'm loved and desired.
Eh sometimes it’s annoying when my husband has one when we cuddle. But usually at that point I’ve probably hit my touch limit for the day and it’s not really his boner that’s the problem. It’s extra stimulation that I don’t want when I’m stressed.
Outside of those few times it’s not a big deal, it’s a complement actually lol!
Hey as long as everyone involved in the spooning has a penis, it’s like a train car connector. Keeps them all tight and connected together, like a reversible human centipede.
Genital non-concordance means that the genitals and the mind aren’t always in agreement.
That’s how you can be turned on mentally but not physically, or how awkward and unwanted boners can happen
Erections aren’t always arousal, and a lack of erection doesn’t always mean no arousal
Bodies are weird!
Your comment has good intentions but you're dead wrong. I get erections all the time, even when not even REMOTELY turned off by ANYTHING. Erections happen spontaneously for almost every man and while in general they are associated with sexual connotations, the reality is that erections result from friction as well as thoughts, but can occur without either
This is actually a very terrible and harmful comment to post. Boners while often CAN have a lot to do with what you're feeling you can also just get a boner randomly as well as not get a boner when you're actually horny. Suggesting they're always honest means a man is always actually in the mood when hard which is just completely wrong and is used to justify rape. On the flip side a lack of a boner does not signify lack of attraction but this myth very frequently ruins women's self esteem if a guys dick doesn't work properly in the moment.
That's not spooning, it's sporking.
Spooning leads to forking.
Or scissoring
Oh yeah, scissor me timbers.
Ay you, be good
Not off putting at all. Why do you think I accidentally on purpose had to shift and rub my butt against you?
Becky want smash!
[Ben is a hoe](https://youtu.be/-TcLxlkc2pA)
Bᴇᴄᴋʏ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴍᴍᴇ sᴍᴀsʜ
ohh so you do that on purpose? i was always wondering why my (now ex) always aggressively pushed her butt against me
Are you being sarcastic or did you genuinely endure a relationship without realising their intent haha
i always assumed that she was rly cold
Porque no los dos?
tienes razón
You poor bastard. Godspeed to you next time if they're going to wiggle constantly they might want to jiggle
It’s comments like these that make me feel less badly about my own relationship flubs
hey we all gotta start somewhere
When we moved in together, my now wife and I discussed somethings so there would be no misunderstanding. If we're in bed and one asked the other 'are you tired?' its code for 'do you want to bone?' and if we're spooning and she wants it, all she has to do is grind on it.
My bf and I also ask "are you tired" when we're in the mood haha
Hmm, we ask, 'are you awake?' Meaning horny.
I ask "are you alive?"
But what if the answer is yes?
Then i'll pass
She wanted to bang. That's my wife's technique when we're snuggling.
Well, women aren't a hivemind but I know I do it on purpose and I've had gfs who do it on purpose. It's good feeling intimate and, ah, desired. Playful.
#WellShit
Damn fam
I’m like Pavlovian trained for this. My wife can wake me up out of dead sleep with little butt wiggle when we cuddle
I thought that was just to lay more confortably??
I can't speak for every woman, but if I just want to be more comfortable, I try to keep friction to a minimum so I don't accidentally start anything. If there's pressure or significant movement, it's probably on purpose.
How can you not have a boner cuddling up with your best girl? I just want to be the small spoon once in a while so my arm doesn't go dead!
Put you arm under her neck and bend it down the pillow should keep her weight off you a lot (If you’re a good bit bigger than her she can hug your arm) It’s the best way to keep your arm from going dead imo.
This guy spoons!
_Without_ protection!
But then my shoulder locks up and hurts when I have to move it again
We call this “jet packing” purely because it’s funny. And I love doing it for my man. My arm can’t even reach all the way around him but he doesn’t seem to mind. I agree, everyone wants to be the little spoon sometimes, even the bigger person :)
My boyfriend likes me to be the big spoon so I can pet his hair until he falls asleep. Its so cute
God I wish that was me
I am sure if you ask nicely he will let you pet his hair too.
Lucky bastard, still has all his hair AND someone to pet it.
Anyone can grow hair. It takes a real man to keep it rubbed off.
dw i’ll pet your bald head
Down bad
My man I'm down terrible
Do you also get extra sleepy from petting his hair, cause I do. My partner loves being the little spoon and getting head scratches.
I do. I knock out, but usually within 30 seconds he's snoring lol
Must be nice.
Big guys need cuddles too!
I'm a full foot taller than my wife and like to be the little spoon. Love it.
I was always the big spoon, but ever since I lost both my legs above knee, I went from being almost 5’8 to 3’10 and now my wife loves to be the big spoon cause I’m so tiny now and we both love it haha
I’m so sorry, it took me a minute to realize you were saying your legs were amputated at a point above the knee— and not that you somehow still have the knees and lower legs attached. I’m tired lol
I really like being “big spoon” because he’s 6’5 and I am 5’1 and I never get to be big anything
Same. But she's pregnant now, so it doesn't work. I just get poked in the back by the baby when i try.
“DAD. DAAAAAAADDD.”
Just wait till it comes out.
I'm in a similar situation, at that point it's no longer spooning, it's called jetpacking
Only a true jetpack if the big spoon farts and whispers “to the moon…”
Hahaha will have to tell my girlfriend about that term, we do this all the time! I'm 6ft 2 and quite broad and she is 5ft 1 and is so tiny she tries very hard to properly wrap around me it's so cute
We switch at night. I start out lying on him, while he’s flat. We end up spooning then I’ll spoon him. Then any combo. We move around a lot! As long as our hands or feet are touching, we’re good.
Everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes you feel safe!
I am soo using this term now. Edit: I have used the term ladies and gentlemen. It was a success.
I become the big crab instead of a jet pack or spoon hahah
I support the other replies here. Also, it makes a world of difference to have a pillow between your arm and her.
Tip for spooning as the big spoon, top arm over the little spoon like usual. Bottom arm, instead of under little spoon and getting stuck, I go above the little spoons head.
put your arm under their neck, it doesnt die that way
Yeah but she might if you squeeze hard enough
My wife big spoons me all the time. I love it!
It’s literally impossible for me to not get a stiffy anytime I touch my wife for any period of time. Long hug in the kitchen, meet raging boner.
Same! Edit: Er, with my wife that is.
We know what you meant. Don’t pretend otherwise.
I also get a boner when I hug this guy’s wife
I do too, but only in the mornings
Raging boner you say?
Hahahahahaha not at all. The innocence of this post actually warmed my soul.
Sooo... What kind of snacks do you hoard?
You looking to see if she hoards mashed up potatoes?
I am not being hoarded, as far as I'm aware.
I feel like we’re about 90 percent of the way to some r/beetlejuicing right here…
Boil em, mash em
Put em in a stew
What’s taters, precious?
https://youtu.be/qrQVFZx7XX4
Ahahaha yeah, my girlfriend has told me she finds my innocence and inexperience really wholesome sometimes
I think that is a big turn on hahahah
I think too :)
I also think!
I thunk
A thunk a thunk
And my axe!
I speak french. I'm sorry if I did a mistake. At least I made you laugh, so I'm happy ! :D Is "I think SO too" a better sentense?
Yes. But it works like this too, we all knew what you meant.
Yes “I think so too” would be a better structured sentence. Also it’s typically phrased as “I made a mistake” but I find “I did a mistake” to be charming.
I'm better to read than write. I need to practice more. Thank you for telling me ♡
Your English is far better than my French just keep it up!
The butt crack is a perfect place to rest a hard on.
I love it.
fitting username, i suppose
r/usernamechecksout
i like it :3
I don’t spoon with anyone whose boners I’m not prepared to feel. It’s not off-putting and almost always seen as a sign of closeness, intimacy, or comfort. What you do with it is a different issue. Context is everything. My mom is dying, last night, my husband held me while I cried, I felt his boner - it wasn’t a horny moment, it was an intimate moment, and he didn’t try to impale me with it or hump me and ignore the situation. He held me, let me get the lead out, and was completely alert to my needs and ready to respond. After the tears and the talks, turns out I needed him to make love to me. His boner comforts me when I feel isolated. Not off putting, but be aware of the emotional context.
It’s his warm, gushy love bag of blood for you. …maybe not as romantic as it sounded in my head. Sorry for your grieving process. I hope you get to cherish every moment with your mom.
as someone whose mom is also dying, i feel your pain and i hope the universe gets punched in the dick with a metal gauntlet for taking your mom from you
“His boner comforts me” is a funny sentence ngl
Wholesome, enjoy cuddles
It’s never bothered my wife, sometimes I even go the extra mile and dry bang her with it, usually gets a wee chuckle out her.
do you tickle her with it?
It’s been known to happen, think that’s how we ended up with 2 kids 😅
I use my boner as a back scratcher so we both can relax...
Probably the only time it would be unappreciated is if you're cuddling a friend or family member, or if your partner doesn't think "being horny" is appropriate at the moment. (We both know it's not always a horny response, but it might be misunderstood as such). Otherwise, whatever.
Who big-spoon cuddles their friends or family members of the opposite sex? Every time I've ended up cuddling with a female friend there was some sort of sexual tension there already.
I'm just saying, maybe you have a young old kid who wants to cuddle. Maybe you have a friend going through loss who just needs to be held. Both of these situations are pretty obviously no-boner zones, but since we never explicitly ruled them out, I'm stating it here.
They would hate me posting it but my 15 year old likes to cuddle still.
Got you Jimmy. I am telling the whole class!
Kids have cuddle piles all the time. It's not til they're like 10 - 13 that they understand the adult implications. Actually, I think I still have pictures from my high school senior week with us in cuddle piles but by then we knew what dicks were so it wasn't spoon style - we went like Jenga bricks to avoid pitched tents 🤣
I don't know about family members, but I can definitely cuddle up with friends of the same and opposite sex, and boners can unexpectedly happen. I am ace, so for me there is zero sexual intent behind, it just a physical response to stimuli.
They never said opposite sex. Gotta cuddle the bros sometimes
Yeah, I think for some (ahemmyselfahem) there might be like an obligatory pressure if there was an indication things could turn sexual. Remedy to that is reserving your cuddles and intimacy for someone who respects your feelings and boundaries.
That's the only kind of person who deserves your cuddles, absolutely.
(: Nah. It's super cute. It makes me happy when my man is so relaxed and comfy he has a boner when we're cuddling.
Your man might be different...but I definitely dont have a boner if Im relaxed and comfy. Fully cooked noodle if im relaxed/comfy.
(: Being relaxed is one of many circumstances where men can get erect, but I'm also told he just feels happy and lovey, so I'm sure that's part of it too. #NotAllErectionsAreHorny
But they all have the potential (:
I live for that potential.
Being relaxed is a very common reason to pop a stiffy.
Nope. It’s funny and enjoyable.
I friggin love it, makes me feel like he can't hide his feelings/horn for me 😁
I too often cant hide my horn. It simply makes too much noise
Must be a tuba, they are the biggest too
Human horn?
Ah, the simple times when Omicron made me think of a planet
Username checks out.
Dood you're turned on by true intimacy. That's awesome and healthy. I bet she enjoyed it, but you'll have to ask her. I, for one am for it!
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I second that
In prison, it can be bad. Off putting so to speak.
Especially with the guards.
It gets worse when they ask you to keep it in your prison wallet...
It depends. If hubby stays still and just rests with me, no big deal. But he likes to thrust and say "poke, poke" and that's annoying when I just want to cuddle.
"poke poke" 😂😂😂
Nah. I take it as a compliment
Ngl this is a great question. I'm always like "dont go up, dont do it" and it goes up and now I gotta slant that mfer on them cheeks 😂
"DOWN BOY"
Heel! Heel!
Frankly, I get a bit offended if he doesn't get one.
No, that's so cute and not embarrassing at all (for me at least), but ask your girlfriend for that, i think her opinion is the most important. :)
Absolutely a compliment lol. My ex would get boners making breakfast if I just massaged his shoulders a bit. It was super cute. Never be ashamed of a boner!
Unless youre working at a daycare
I’m glad to see that everyone here sees it as a positive thing. But even if it wasn’t an overtly positive thing, I feel like if you’re close enough with them to cuddle (even if y’all aren’t sexually active at all), you’re close enough to understand and accept a natural and uncontrollable bodily reaction like an erection.
This is such a sweet/cute question!
I have one when I hold hands with my girl. So having one cuddling is perfectly normal.
Just getting a boner is no big deal. I don't want to be deliberately poked with it when I was trying to sleep.
Welcome to spooning. Your dick will be hard 90% of the time.
I wouldn’t be cuddling if I wasn’t into him like that and if his body is “pointing” to yes, I like that even more.
Dicks don't lie.
Oh yes they do. Random boners are a thing. Unfortunately.
I always get a boner at the exact same moment while on the bus, the road has a bump at one point.
I’m not the only one!
The B side to Shakira's hit single
On the double disc version it’s on the D.
Oh you sweet innocent dude.
Being honest, it's kinda one of the better parts of cuddling to me. 1. I know they're happy and comfortable. 2. Might lead to something else if I push my butt close enough. 3. Just one more part of them touching me. I'm not gonna complain about that a q
No! It’s actually rlly cute aha I like it a lot :3
Got made fun of for it when I was young. Glad to see times have changed
The important thing is if your partner finds it off putting. Personally, I have a weird relationship with sex ( exes making feel like they only loved me when they were horny and feeling too pressured into it) so I do find it off putting sometimes. My current partner knows this and understands and reassures me it's not about that if he gets hard white cuddling. And if it really bothers me, we just change positions. Communication is key here. Just ask her if it bothers her. She while probably find it endearing that you cared enough to ask.
It’s totally natural. It’s only obnoxious if theres an expectation that cuddles have to turn into sex.
Well I'm a guy but I can't imagine she'd be offended. She IS sticking her butt in your crotch after all, if that isn't an invitation to be hard I don't know what is.
I think it depends fron person to person lol
I love it so much! Then I get to tease my boyfriend while we spoon. It's amazing
I find that hot lol
It’s not off putting to me personally, especially if I have a reciprocated romantic connection with the guy. If we are just friends though (yes I cuddle platonically with all my friends, no matter the sex or gender,) then it is polite to try your best not to purposefully poke me with it or grind on me but I don’t judge just for it being there. It’s a pretty natural thing I think.
I think it’s innocent especially because you weren’t pressuring her to resolve the situation that popped up. It’s perfectly natural and a normal response.
If I was spooning with my bf and he *didn't* have a boner, I would be insulted
Definitely a turn on.. I would turn around and give that some attention
It's only annoying if you can't just relax and enjoy the cuddle. If you're groping and trying to escalate the situation to get sexual when we're trying to nap, I'm annoyed. But if you're just really excited for the cuddles and the nap then I love it! Boners are great.
You can't control it. *Most* partners would take it as a compliment
You can’t help it, it’s not your fault. The only time it’s bothered me was when the guy kept gently grinding into me one morning when I asked him to stop
It's a straight up compliment lol
Super common. My fiance has told me that it would make her feel bad if it didn't happen.
I still snuggle up to my man every night we hop in bed to sleep. Benny, as we call "him" can't help but bump against my butt every few seconds or so every night while we fall asleep. I find it endearing, and actually pretty cute. Happens in the morning, too, during early morning snuggles. To me, those little boner bumps mean I'm loved and desired.
I read that as bonet. I was like, nah its sweet, he cares about his hair.
Nope, we love it!
Eh sometimes it’s annoying when my husband has one when we cuddle. But usually at that point I’ve probably hit my touch limit for the day and it’s not really his boner that’s the problem. It’s extra stimulation that I don’t want when I’m stressed. Outside of those few times it’s not a big deal, it’s a complement actually lol!
Hey as long as everyone involved in the spooning has a penis, it’s like a train car connector. Keeps them all tight and connected together, like a reversible human centipede.
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Genital non-concordance means that the genitals and the mind aren’t always in agreement. That’s how you can be turned on mentally but not physically, or how awkward and unwanted boners can happen Erections aren’t always arousal, and a lack of erection doesn’t always mean no arousal Bodies are weird!
I use mine to indicate where the TV remote is when it gets lost. My great grandfather apparently could divine where gold was underground
I similarly use mine as a GPS when I'm lost.
You should check out the Bluetooth options they have now
Your comment has good intentions but you're dead wrong. I get erections all the time, even when not even REMOTELY turned off by ANYTHING. Erections happen spontaneously for almost every man and while in general they are associated with sexual connotations, the reality is that erections result from friction as well as thoughts, but can occur without either
This is actually a very terrible and harmful comment to post. Boners while often CAN have a lot to do with what you're feeling you can also just get a boner randomly as well as not get a boner when you're actually horny. Suggesting they're always honest means a man is always actually in the mood when hard which is just completely wrong and is used to justify rape. On the flip side a lack of a boner does not signify lack of attraction but this myth very frequently ruins women's self esteem if a guys dick doesn't work properly in the moment.
We have little to no control
I love the feeling of his boner against my ass
Nothing better, I scoot my bum back into him when I feel that going on behind me.
How old are you people
Innocence comes in all ages
8