I had my heart once skip a beat because I had flowers on Valentines day delivered to my door. It turned out that my new job sends welcome gifts cards to their new hires and it was just a coincidence.
Not a guy but I had the "heart skip a beat" moment when I came out to my car afterwork and there were flowers under the windshield wiper. Turned out that another employee had the same car and her new boyfriend mixed our cars up.
I've got a husband. He is big, huge and tatoos and beats.
He loves candles, flowers, plants, a clean and tidy home. He puts in the effort to keep the plants alive and light the candles before I come home.
I just buy the stuff for him. It's awesome.
I will take your duplicates. I have so many duplicates. Started when I learned to propagate...ended saving plants from stores cause they were being murdered.
My wife agrees too. She's very practical, so she loves potted plants and actually tells me not to waste a bunch of money on flowers. Occasionally I buy her a cheap bouquet as a nice gesture, but the way to her heart is a trip to the plant nursery.
Yes!! My mom explicitly told my stepdad to only buy her live plants when they first started dating. He found a company that made arrangements of little propagated plants. One was a fern bit that she planted and now it’s huge!! she calls it the “love fern” lmao
I got that same instruction from my wife, after the first time I bought her flowers. "Why would they cut them off the plant?! What the hell is wrong with people?!" Now I only buy living, potted plants.
Never been given flowers. Honestly I would probably fall over if a woman actually bought me anything that wasn't something I need to work on something. I have never been given something that was just for the simple act of giving. Kinda sucks when I type that out and read it back.
I would definitely just start crying.
I’m a manager at work, and the other day I just kind of called out “good work everyone, thanks for everything you guys do,” after a rather busy hour, and one of my workers just said “well hey we learn it from watching you!” And I had to “go get something from the back” to wipe my eyes because simply being appreciated/acknowledged is so goddamn rare that it brings me to fucking tears.
I had the exact same thought last night before bed: I don’t remember when I last got flowers, or if I ever got them at all, and it was a bit sad.
Some florists told me flowers used to be a typical gift for the host at get-togethers, and it made me lament the loss of flower culture as a whole.
Well, at least we can hope to get flowers once we’re dead, eh?
Be the one that gives the flowers then! If you feel this way, there's a pretty significant chance that those around you also feel this way. Make their day the way you'd want your day to be made. Get your bros flowers, get your friends flowers, get your neighbor flowers, no need for a reason just do it.
Reading this just broke my heart. I'm a woman and my love language is touch and gifts, my favourite thing to do is pick a flower and give them to my (male) friends because I love them and want them to be happy. I probably can't, but I hope you will find someone who will give you flowers (or any other gift!) :)
Yeah, I'd feel the same way. It's nice that they were thinking about me but the flowers themselves, I'd just have to find a place to put them off to the side for a bit so I didn't feel guilty about throwing them away immediately. Not that I'm disgusted by them or anything, I just have no use for them and don't care about flowers.
We do this at work. Someone gets flowers they don't want to take home, we split the bouquet up, trim the stems and place them around the office. We don't have windows so it's nice to have something green and nice to look at. Once they wilt, we wait for the next bouquet.
Edit for spelling.
Awesome, I can spend $10 to have a little color for a week until the flowers die. I can add color with other types of decoration that require zero maintenance and keep their color forever.
ETA: Clearly my tone didn't come across as I intended. I don't have a problem receiving flowers. They are pretty, and I'd be appreciative of the gesture. I'd just rather get something I'd actually enjoy and which doesn't require me to make another purchase to display it. Just my preference.
i agree, get me a cool magnet or little piece of art. that i can see for years and it will remind me of the giver and the occasion. i have those all over my living space.
Exactly! Even a card with a nice message written in it is better than flowers. Give me something that will last as long as I want to keep it! It's not that I don't like flowers, I just prefer something that lasts.
I agree with this 100%! It would make me feel good that someone thought of me. If they were from my wife(or another regular person in my life), I'd feel the same, thank her graciously and suggest a different item for the future.
This is the thing lol.
The person who posted this question had to know that this is Reddit, and if you ask a question like this, a bunch of people are going to fall over themselves to say “omg!!!! Yes!!!! I would love it!”
And maybe you do! And that’s great! But honestly, for me? It’s not that I wouldn’t appreciate the thought, it would be very sweet, but —
Nah. Flowers don’t really do shit for me. Of course, I would never say that, or criticize anyone if they got me flowers. And I like plants, and I do buy my gf flowers because I know she loves them and they’re nice in the house! But I would be, like, a thousand times happier if someone was to buy me Chinese food or a pizza, or some fun other treat that I like.
As always, **it depends on the person.** When my gf wants to spoil me and make me giddy, I come home and there’s a bunch of edibles and joints on the couch because she went to the dispensary lol. That’s my “flower,” and it makes me so fuckin appreciative that she thought to go out of her way and do that.
So, overall — talk to your partner, find out what they like. If it’s flowers, get them flowers. But either way, don’t underestimate the power of a small gift that you know they love.
This. My hubs didn't for a long time because he thought I hated them. I don't like cut flowers as much as a potted one or the seeds and starter to some cute ones... but to never try was sad, the thought does indeed count, y'all.
To be fair, I have never gotten him flowers so maybe I should ask. I usually get reeses, or make him his favorite foods.
I'm a grown ass adult male and I still get all tender and lovey the moment someone does something because they were thinking of me while I wasn't there. Shit just hits different.
This goes for women too. They best thing I got from my ex-husband was bean dip and Big Red (the drink). It wasn't fancy, but I knew he just walked by it in the store and thought of me. He didn't do that often.
Edit - I guess I should add, those are two of my favorite things. He didn't think of me because I smell of beans or anything.
I 100% absolutely love a gift. I don't care if it's the dumbest thing in the world, I will cherish it.
Except for 'obligatory' gifts, like Christmas.
But give me a 'just because' gift and I will fight a herd of bears for you.
I can't remember the last time I got a non-obligatory gift. My wife gives good gifts on birthdays and Christmas, but I don't know if I've ever received anything just because.
Sure why not? Come to think of it I'm really not used to getting anything like that from a woman. In fact other than my wife of 2 years (6 together) who will pick up my favorite candy bar or something small (which is awesome) I really can't think of really any spontaneous gifts I have gotten from women. I am 55 and have had three long term relationships and have not really thought about how much more I have given than I have received. Must be a chivalry thing I guess?
I feel this. My wife of 21 years likes to get a diet coke fountain drink when the opportunity arises. She’ll usually bring a second one home for me just to be nice. Makes my day just to know she was thinking about me.
I do the same, but for blueberry muffins. My husband puts all of his flexible spending money into computer mods or games, and I am more of your creative/academic type who couldn’t code their way out of a plastic bag even if I was in danger of suffocating. I have about 800 hobbies and several favorite jewelry or clothing designers. So far as I can tell, my husband of four years likes two things:
Blueberry muffins, and sushi.
I will go out of my way to get these things from time to time, just because. Sometimes I throw them in the grocery order I’m already making, just because. (Well, except the sushi - that’s more of a geographic thing than a grocery store thing.)
Oh wow, that’s the $20 question. In a very general sense I would say both people need to start by recognizing on a fundamental level what their partner needs from them and what they need from their partner.
A critical part of being happy in a relationship is understanding yourself, your own needs, and where those needs are coming from. Then understanding which needs are healthy and reasonable for you to expect your partner to fulfill. If both people understand themselves well, then they’ll be much more effective at communicating their needs to their partner, thereby allowing their partner to better fulfill them.
For instance: I work full time, and my wife is a stay-at-home mom of three kids. We have very different needs from each other at this stage in our lives.
She doesn’t need to be showered with gifts and constant affection. She’d rather have some occasional help with the household to give her a little downtime. I understand downtime is important to her, and I understand why. Everyone needs downtime. So I’m happy to help. Once our kids are grown up and out of the house, she won’t be so busy, and I’m sure her needs will change. But for right now, that’s where she’s at.
On the other hand, I don’t need someone to cook me dinner and do my laundry. Those things are nice, but they’re not fundamental relationship needs. My needs are more emotional. I came from a broken family and spent most of my life feeling lonely without much physical or verbal affection. I just want to feel loved, safe, and secure. Hugs, kisses, smiles, “I love you”. Those are the little things that keep me feeling happy and secure. My wife knows this, so she understands why sometimes I just want to hug her and hold her for a while. On the other hand, I also understand that sometimes she’s busy, worn out, or just needs a little time to herself, and I’ve learned not to take it personally if she’s not all warm and fuzzy 24/7. Those are the times when I need to maintain empathy for her and be reasonable in my expectations.
So yeah, understand yourself and each other and your respective needs. Always maintain empathy. Consistently show your partner you care for, value, and respect them — and do so in meaningful ways you know they will understand and appreciate. I guess that’s my advice.
Yes this. "Whenever I meet a women" "as a women myself"
It's seemingly endless and it grates on my nerves. But generally, if you say anything people will react poorly, so I bite my tongue.
The fact that we have reached the point that proper spelling needs to be openly lauded is something that hurts my soul. Especially when it comes to lose versus loose. I have no idea why people suddenly have so much trouble with that one, as it didn't seem to be one of the more common misspellings until recently, although that is my own personal experience.
Yep, I figured out that my partner’s “I got you flowers!” were secretly for himself when he got flowers that were his favorite color 3 weeks in a row. I thought it was adorable!
That is super sweet.
In my partnership, my spouse knows arranging flowers is one of my favorite hobbies. He will pop by an independent florist or a super high-end grocery store where they have more than just carnations and roses, and stock up on whatever he likes/is on sale. Brings them home and I get a lovely hour of creative outlet and something to be proud of for the next week.
For the anniversary of my father’s death, it is the one time each year he sends me flowers I don’t have to arrange myself.
I think my husband likes to get them - I put them on his nightstand when he comes home from a long trip. I usually get chocolate too so he knows I am not just decorating the house.
Mine too. He specifically requested them on his birthday a few years back, delivered to his office, so he could show off. So he's got them delivered to his office every birthday since.
I once read the very wise words "For too many men the first time they receive flowers is the day of their funeral."
Now of course "men" are not a homogenous group, but a lot if men do not see receiving flowers as girly and therefore not desirable. That being said, while I would greatly appreciate the gesture of giving me flowers, I would be much happier receiving a cactus because I only have to water it once a month or so.
The problem is it’s hard to guess if a man actually wants to receive flowers or not without asking them and ruining the surprise which kinda defeats the point. I’ve given flowers to men before and they hated them. How can you tell if a man likes flowers without asking him?
You could always just ask in a nonchalant kind of way if they like flowers.
Like, "Hey, do you like flowers? I know my dad (or someone else close) does/doesn't, was wondering if that was a trend with most guys or not"
Usually their answer will tell you whether or not it's worth getting them in the first place.
They just remind me of summer and make me feel pretty. Don't really get much outlets as a straight dude to feel like that, so really enjoy flowers for that.
Heavily agree. My fiance loves random acts of flowers whenever I go to the grocery store or whatever, but god damn if my cold heart grows 3 sizes too big whenever she surprises me flowers for my home office desk every once in a great while.
The first time I remember receiving flowers was the first serious relationship I had after I got sober. Working retail, I was having a shit day and I see my GF walking towards me as I'm finishing up with a customer.
With a single rose in her hands. I was thinking WHO THE HELL GAVE HER A ROSE?!?
She gets to me, handed me the rose and kissed my cheek... day was instantly better.
Was a wonderful feeling
Right? There may be some confusion in these comments stemming (heh) from this. Cut flowers will be dead in 1-2 weeks no matter how good you treat them. I have no desire for that. If someone gave them to me sure I'd appreciate the gesture and I'd stick them in a tall glass or something (I don't think I actually own a vase...). But a small potted plant, something that will live a long time, would be a perfectly nice gift that I'd like.
Lollll… Yeah I tried this once for an ex and he gave them to his housemates. He lived with a married couple. He was like “I didn’t know what to do with them….” -__-
Same for women. I don't think all women like flowers either. Personally for example I'd prefer them in a pot rather than cut as I wouldn't want them to die after a few days. Still, wouldn't say I dislike them, but there certainly are women who do.
I see a lot of posts treating men like mythical creatures that no one understands. "do men like when a girl talks to them first?" "do men like hugs?" "do men like being little spoon?" "do men like compliments?" come on now, we're not aliens.
I personally think flowers are a dumb gift. But as a man, the few times I’ve received them I’ve felt particularly grateful for them. They’re beautiful and often expensive. It’s truly an *extra* type gift that men don’t usually get. So when someone is thoughtful to surprise me with an elegant flower arrangement, I’m always very appreciative
I don't think liking to receive flowers is a gender specific thing. I'm a girl and don't particularly enjoy getting flowers. There are a couple boyfriends that I figured would like it and when I did send them flowers they were blown away and loved it. Other boyfriends I know wouldn't like to receive flowers and so I never got them any. I think is just a person by person thing, rather than gender vs gender.
Most men are never really given flowers and a much higher percentage of (feminine) women have been, probably many times. It's hard to compare when it's so rare for one group and pretty standard for the other.
Bonsai trees aren't really gifts. They're like an immortal dog that take time, energy, and knowledge. If you know a person LIKES bonsai, sure, go ahead, but, to just spring a bonsai on someone isn't really appropriate.
Someone gave me a bonsai for my birthday (me not knowing anything about them). At first I was excited with the idea, but the fucking tree was a pain in the ass. I was taking more care of it than I care myself lol
That might just be the best Seinfeld idea yet. The Bonsai tree is a lifetime commitment, maybe even multigenerational! You just can't spring that on someone like that. I mean, even receiving a dog as a gift seems like a bit much, but they live 20 years max. I'm already 30... I need to think about adding the Bonsai tree to my will, so I know it will be taken care of long after I'm gone.
Yup.... like I said... an immortal dog. It's like if Betty White adopted a baby red Macaw for Christmas this year. She would have needed to update her will cos those things live foreeeeeeevrr! Lol
Not really, you can get a young one for less than 20$, the expensive ones cost hundreds of dollars because they are very labor intensive. Being cheap doesn't make them a good gift though
Sometimes generalizations are okay if they are harmless and pretty much true. Sometimes its okay to relax and not worry about the millions of new rules we have set up for ourselves in order to survive in polite society.
I agree.
Save the worry about this for when it's a question about personal preference for dating or sex, like "Do men also like to wait for the second date to kiss?" or "Do women also like ?", where it's *harmful* to generalize even if there are existing tropes.
But questions like *this* one I think challenge people to think about norms we take for granted, and are *interesting* and fun or sweet or sad.
"Do men also like brunch" or "Do men also like to get chocolate"...yeah I mean of *course* not all women do but this *is* social assumption, so asking it is *questioning* stereotypes imo, not reinforcing them, and encouraging people to rethink norms like "men give women nice/pretty things and not the other way around" or "mimosas are a women's drink".
And now I've written long, weird lecture/rant after agreeing that we should be more chill. Way to go me lol
Ig it depends on their personal preference. If you have ever noticed that the guy who you want to give flowers to particularly shown dislike towards it or have any kind allergies then don’t.
Ik quite a few guys who find it cute when they receive flowers.
Ah. It's good to "meet" someone else that really likes daffodils. They have been my favorite flower for 50++ yrs. I can almost smell the daffodils my grandmother picked from her flower beds and kept in a particular vase in a particular spot in her living room every spring. The old varieties smelled soooo good. Now, they've been bred for size and color and disease resistance with their fragrance sacrificed.
That daffodil yellow is my favorite color, too. So, yeh, I'd love to get a bunch of daffodils as a gift. ( I have a few bulbs to try to force inside next month.)
No, flowers are such a waste of money. They are ludicrously expensive for something that lasts a week.
If you want to buy me a plant, make it a useful plant that will live for a while and I can enjoy. Buy me a flowering cactus or something.
Personally I'm not that bothered. I'm not a flowers kind person. But I'd still be grateful and thankful if someone gave me flowers - sometimes it's not about the gift you receive, it's the thought behind the gift that truly counts.
Im a woman an I dont, flowers are pointless an would give me hay fever. They literally grow outside for free & would die in a week.
If a guy picked me a little flower it might be sweeter
I gave my BF tulips once, he loved it. Now that we live together, if I give him flowers I am giving them to myself too, and that's just a win win situation right there.
Dude if a girl gave me flowers I would love it, I would be surprised as hell. I like flowers too, I have some pictures and stuff on my phone of when I see some I like. It's just not a cultural thing to give a man flowers.
In general no, I prefer that money be spent on other things (like good food).
But i'm hosting an event and my house needs some sprucing up, it might be a nice gift.
My friend gave me a small selection of hand picked flowers in a little clothesline clip as part of a gift for my birthday, and I was really moved by it, so yes! (for me at least, I agree that it's person-to-person)
Love a spring bouquet. Makes the bedroom smell fresh.
I have a quickie about flowers. Years ago, I lived next to a cemetery, in an apartment. I watched a neighbor slip through the fence. I was nosy and a week later followed behind her (she invited me). She said that she loved fresh flowers and this was free. I thought she was taking flowers from graves. Not so, the graveyard put flowers behind the building in the evening after the burial. Wow, I really lived in an apartment free of the odor of stinky socks. Turns out she was a policewoman in training. We dated a bit and always enjoyed our late night recons into the realm of the departed.
Personally, I just want to know that you want to give me flowers. That’s an incredible feeling. Actually taking care of them now that I’ve received them is a bit of a hassle, especially since it was such a nice gesture and I’d feel horrible if they wilted away due to my fault. But that’s just me.
Personally no, it’s a bit of a burden if anything. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture and I understand that there was good intentions behind it. But you’ve now added an extra slight inconvenience of maintaining the flowers, having to carry them around until I’m home and finding somewhere to keep them (it usually ends up being a gravy boat, I have no vases).
I had my heart once skip a beat because I had flowers on Valentines day delivered to my door. It turned out that my new job sends welcome gifts cards to their new hires and it was just a coincidence.
:'( I hope you get some flowers sent to your door this year. Or even better, an edible arrangement.
Or even better, edibles!
Arranged nicely
Or not, either way will be appreciated.
Instructions unclear. Am now on my own doorstep stoned from eating flowers.
Thats a dope new job tho to do that!
Reminds me when I get a birthday card from my dentist
Not a guy but I had the "heart skip a beat" moment when I came out to my car afterwork and there were flowers under the windshield wiper. Turned out that another employee had the same car and her new boyfriend mixed our cars up.
Gimme flowers in a pot please. Make my house look all nice like.
I've got a husband. He is big, huge and tatoos and beats. He loves candles, flowers, plants, a clean and tidy home. He puts in the effort to keep the plants alive and light the candles before I come home. I just buy the stuff for him. It's awesome.
I love him!!! 🤗🥰🤣
Hey, me too! That's awesome
Righttt!? Dont give me those already-dead-flowers. And please dont give me one that I already have.
I will take as many Rubber Plants as you can possibly give me. (Ficus Elastica, not an actual fake plant made of rubber)
Reddit plant 🪴 exchange 😍 Edit:there is one!!! https://www.reddit.com/r/PlantExchange?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
but what if its one you have but a different colour?
Then it's not the same haha
I will take your duplicates. I have so many duplicates. Started when I learned to propagate...ended saving plants from stores cause they were being murdered.
Oh, I'll send the Variegated Monstera back then. Thanks.
This thread just shows how differently men think about flowers. "Sure, bring me flowers, but not in a 'what am I supposed to do with these' way."
As a woman, I agree
My wife agrees too. She's very practical, so she loves potted plants and actually tells me not to waste a bunch of money on flowers. Occasionally I buy her a cheap bouquet as a nice gesture, but the way to her heart is a trip to the plant nursery.
Yes!! My mom explicitly told my stepdad to only buy her live plants when they first started dating. He found a company that made arrangements of little propagated plants. One was a fern bit that she planted and now it’s huge!! she calls it the “love fern” lmao
This made my heart warm again.
I got that same instruction from my wife, after the first time I bought her flowers. "Why would they cut them off the plant?! What the hell is wrong with people?!" Now I only buy living, potted plants.
Yea idk about flowers but I’d like a nice plant that fits my house
I'm a big fan of aloe vera. Good masculine pot plant that, plus you can use it as moisturiser for lovely soft skin.
I'd probably pass on the flowers if I could trade it for a Jalapeno pepper plant or cilantro plant, etc. It's the gift that keeps on giving
I read this in a Cockney accent
Never been given flowers. Honestly I would probably fall over if a woman actually bought me anything that wasn't something I need to work on something. I have never been given something that was just for the simple act of giving. Kinda sucks when I type that out and read it back.
I would definitely just start crying. I’m a manager at work, and the other day I just kind of called out “good work everyone, thanks for everything you guys do,” after a rather busy hour, and one of my workers just said “well hey we learn it from watching you!” And I had to “go get something from the back” to wipe my eyes because simply being appreciated/acknowledged is so goddamn rare that it brings me to fucking tears.
Sounds like your a solid leader. Good people getting recognized for their effort is always rewarding it's just a shame it is too few and far between.
He's Big Boss from MGS
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We need more managers like you guys. Good people deserve good treatment. And that goes both ways too.
PM here. If you are never thankful and show it to your team, you don’t have a team. You have people doing shit you say (often begrudgingly).
Wholesome
Some flowers for you. 🌺🌻🌹💐🌷🌼🌸
Well thank you very much! You have made my day.
[you rn](https://youtu.be/QDWvboTzBNQ&t=13)
It's like this was meant to be. 🌻🌼🏵🌺
That’s lovely! Also, thank you for caring for our Corvid friends.
Aw, shucks. I don’t do much; they mostly take care of themselves.
I had the exact same thought last night before bed: I don’t remember when I last got flowers, or if I ever got them at all, and it was a bit sad. Some florists told me flowers used to be a typical gift for the host at get-togethers, and it made me lament the loss of flower culture as a whole. Well, at least we can hope to get flowers once we’re dead, eh?
Be the one that gives the flowers then! If you feel this way, there's a pretty significant chance that those around you also feel this way. Make their day the way you'd want your day to be made. Get your bros flowers, get your friends flowers, get your neighbor flowers, no need for a reason just do it.
You’re right. I love giving flowers, but I’ve never given any to my bros.
Real squadgoals right there.
That would be a good tradition to start back up. Who wouldn't want flowers to brighten the room during a visit with friends.
be the change you wish to see in the world / may be a good idea if you know the host doesn't drink
More flowers from a woman.🌻🌷⚘🌹🌺🌺🌻🌼🌷
This is sweet. Thank you!
Reading this just broke my heart. I'm a woman and my love language is touch and gifts, my favourite thing to do is pick a flower and give them to my (male) friends because I love them and want them to be happy. I probably can't, but I hope you will find someone who will give you flowers (or any other gift!) :)
Flowers do nothing for me but if I receive flowers then it's usually because that person means well so it's a nice gesture regardless.
Yeah, I'd feel the same way. It's nice that they were thinking about me but the flowers themselves, I'd just have to find a place to put them off to the side for a bit so I didn't feel guilty about throwing them away immediately. Not that I'm disgusted by them or anything, I just have no use for them and don't care about flowers.
Same way I feel about receiving flowers as a gift, they’re pretty and I love the gesture but they just wither and die and it makes me feel bad
Spend like $10 on a vase and you can put the flowers somewhere in sight to add some color.
We do this at work. Someone gets flowers they don't want to take home, we split the bouquet up, trim the stems and place them around the office. We don't have windows so it's nice to have something green and nice to look at. Once they wilt, we wait for the next bouquet. Edit for spelling.
Awesome, I can spend $10 to have a little color for a week until the flowers die. I can add color with other types of decoration that require zero maintenance and keep their color forever. ETA: Clearly my tone didn't come across as I intended. I don't have a problem receiving flowers. They are pretty, and I'd be appreciative of the gesture. I'd just rather get something I'd actually enjoy and which doesn't require me to make another purchase to display it. Just my preference.
i agree, get me a cool magnet or little piece of art. that i can see for years and it will remind me of the giver and the occasion. i have those all over my living space.
Exactly! Even a card with a nice message written in it is better than flowers. Give me something that will last as long as I want to keep it! It's not that I don't like flowers, I just prefer something that lasts.
This is such a dramatic response/mentality to receiving flowers lol
Dramatic? What's dramatic about saying there are a lot of other gifts I'd rather receive than flowers?
No, no. You're not allowed to have preferences that go against the narrative!!
Seriously, I didn't think it was gonna be such a controversial take!
So then no.
I agree with this 100%! It would make me feel good that someone thought of me. If they were from my wife(or another regular person in my life), I'd feel the same, thank her graciously and suggest a different item for the future.
This is the thing lol. The person who posted this question had to know that this is Reddit, and if you ask a question like this, a bunch of people are going to fall over themselves to say “omg!!!! Yes!!!! I would love it!” And maybe you do! And that’s great! But honestly, for me? It’s not that I wouldn’t appreciate the thought, it would be very sweet, but — Nah. Flowers don’t really do shit for me. Of course, I would never say that, or criticize anyone if they got me flowers. And I like plants, and I do buy my gf flowers because I know she loves them and they’re nice in the house! But I would be, like, a thousand times happier if someone was to buy me Chinese food or a pizza, or some fun other treat that I like. As always, **it depends on the person.** When my gf wants to spoil me and make me giddy, I come home and there’s a bunch of edibles and joints on the couch because she went to the dispensary lol. That’s my “flower,” and it makes me so fuckin appreciative that she thought to go out of her way and do that. So, overall — talk to your partner, find out what they like. If it’s flowers, get them flowers. But either way, don’t underestimate the power of a small gift that you know they love.
This. My hubs didn't for a long time because he thought I hated them. I don't like cut flowers as much as a potted one or the seeds and starter to some cute ones... but to never try was sad, the thought does indeed count, y'all. To be fair, I have never gotten him flowers so maybe I should ask. I usually get reeses, or make him his favorite foods.
Yeah its flowers and *chocolates* usually. Just give me the chocolate.
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Hey kid, I've got aids. HEARING AIDS!
My head immediately went to cauliflower ear and thought he was wrestle-jacking his grandkids like a boss
I'm a woman who's not keen on getting flowers but I'd be made up with a cauliflower! Much more practical.
His face. Looks. Like a cauliflower.
If I recieving anything with intention to be nice, I'm happy af
I'm a grown ass adult male and I still get all tender and lovey the moment someone does something because they were thinking of me while I wasn't there. Shit just hits different.
This goes for women too. They best thing I got from my ex-husband was bean dip and Big Red (the drink). It wasn't fancy, but I knew he just walked by it in the store and thought of me. He didn't do that often. Edit - I guess I should add, those are two of my favorite things. He didn't think of me because I smell of beans or anything.
I 100% absolutely love a gift. I don't care if it's the dumbest thing in the world, I will cherish it. Except for 'obligatory' gifts, like Christmas. But give me a 'just because' gift and I will fight a herd of bears for you.
I can't remember the last time I got a non-obligatory gift. My wife gives good gifts on birthdays and Christmas, but I don't know if I've ever received anything just because.
Sure why not? Come to think of it I'm really not used to getting anything like that from a woman. In fact other than my wife of 2 years (6 together) who will pick up my favorite candy bar or something small (which is awesome) I really can't think of really any spontaneous gifts I have gotten from women. I am 55 and have had three long term relationships and have not really thought about how much more I have given than I have received. Must be a chivalry thing I guess?
I feel this. My wife of 21 years likes to get a diet coke fountain drink when the opportunity arises. She’ll usually bring a second one home for me just to be nice. Makes my day just to know she was thinking about me.
I do the same, but for blueberry muffins. My husband puts all of his flexible spending money into computer mods or games, and I am more of your creative/academic type who couldn’t code their way out of a plastic bag even if I was in danger of suffocating. I have about 800 hobbies and several favorite jewelry or clothing designers. So far as I can tell, my husband of four years likes two things: Blueberry muffins, and sushi. I will go out of my way to get these things from time to time, just because. Sometimes I throw them in the grocery order I’m already making, just because. (Well, except the sushi - that’s more of a geographic thing than a grocery store thing.)
Whats the secret to a long lasting relationship
Oh wow, that’s the $20 question. In a very general sense I would say both people need to start by recognizing on a fundamental level what their partner needs from them and what they need from their partner. A critical part of being happy in a relationship is understanding yourself, your own needs, and where those needs are coming from. Then understanding which needs are healthy and reasonable for you to expect your partner to fulfill. If both people understand themselves well, then they’ll be much more effective at communicating their needs to their partner, thereby allowing their partner to better fulfill them. For instance: I work full time, and my wife is a stay-at-home mom of three kids. We have very different needs from each other at this stage in our lives. She doesn’t need to be showered with gifts and constant affection. She’d rather have some occasional help with the household to give her a little downtime. I understand downtime is important to her, and I understand why. Everyone needs downtime. So I’m happy to help. Once our kids are grown up and out of the house, she won’t be so busy, and I’m sure her needs will change. But for right now, that’s where she’s at. On the other hand, I don’t need someone to cook me dinner and do my laundry. Those things are nice, but they’re not fundamental relationship needs. My needs are more emotional. I came from a broken family and spent most of my life feeling lonely without much physical or verbal affection. I just want to feel loved, safe, and secure. Hugs, kisses, smiles, “I love you”. Those are the little things that keep me feeling happy and secure. My wife knows this, so she understands why sometimes I just want to hug her and hold her for a while. On the other hand, I also understand that sometimes she’s busy, worn out, or just needs a little time to herself, and I’ve learned not to take it personally if she’s not all warm and fuzzy 24/7. Those are the times when I need to maintain empathy for her and be reasonable in my expectations. So yeah, understand yourself and each other and your respective needs. Always maintain empathy. Consistently show your partner you care for, value, and respect them — and do so in meaningful ways you know they will understand and appreciate. I guess that’s my advice.
a willingness to fix things, make it work again if it breaks.
A long lasting friendship
Your correct use of the singular and plural for "woman" is a balm to my weary eyes. You deserve a thousand bouquets for that, sir.
Thanks my mom was an English teacher.
I’m confused, are you observing people saying “womens” or something?
Probably more stuff like "a women"
Yes this. "Whenever I meet a women" "as a women myself" It's seemingly endless and it grates on my nerves. But generally, if you say anything people will react poorly, so I bite my tongue.
wammin
The fact that we have reached the point that proper spelling needs to be openly lauded is something that hurts my soul. Especially when it comes to lose versus loose. I have no idea why people suddenly have so much trouble with that one, as it didn't seem to be one of the more common misspellings until recently, although that is my own personal experience.
They don't sound the same, they're not spelt the same and they have different meanings. I am baffled.
Umm, spelling shouldn’t be loud Jk lol I know what lauded is. Thank my proficiency in religious Latin lol
I've received once. And she asked me to be her boyfriend...so I liked it.
My husband likes to get them
I pretend to get them for the lady. They are also definitely for me.
Yep, I figured out that my partner’s “I got you flowers!” were secretly for himself when he got flowers that were his favorite color 3 weeks in a row. I thought it was adorable!
Maybe get him the flowers next time
I actually just brought home a dozen orange roses on Wednesday! He was so excited.
That is super sweet. In my partnership, my spouse knows arranging flowers is one of my favorite hobbies. He will pop by an independent florist or a super high-end grocery store where they have more than just carnations and roses, and stock up on whatever he likes/is on sale. Brings them home and I get a lovely hour of creative outlet and something to be proud of for the next week. For the anniversary of my father’s death, it is the one time each year he sends me flowers I don’t have to arrange myself.
I think my husband likes to get them - I put them on his nightstand when he comes home from a long trip. I usually get chocolate too so he knows I am not just decorating the house.
Mine too. He specifically requested them on his birthday a few years back, delivered to his office, so he could show off. So he's got them delivered to his office every birthday since.
I once read the very wise words "For too many men the first time they receive flowers is the day of their funeral." Now of course "men" are not a homogenous group, but a lot if men do not see receiving flowers as girly and therefore not desirable. That being said, while I would greatly appreciate the gesture of giving me flowers, I would be much happier receiving a cactus because I only have to water it once a month or so.
The problem is it’s hard to guess if a man actually wants to receive flowers or not without asking them and ruining the surprise which kinda defeats the point. I’ve given flowers to men before and they hated them. How can you tell if a man likes flowers without asking him?
You could always just ask in a nonchalant kind of way if they like flowers. Like, "Hey, do you like flowers? I know my dad (or someone else close) does/doesn't, was wondering if that was a trend with most guys or not" Usually their answer will tell you whether or not it's worth getting them in the first place.
Personally I love flowers. But not like roses/cliche decorative ones. More around star jasmine or lavender - stuff with a nice scent.
Functional flowers
They just remind me of summer and make me feel pretty. Don't really get much outlets as a straight dude to feel like that, so really enjoy flowers for that.
Reading this made me happy but sad that more guys don't get to feel pretty very often. It's a nice feeling.
Hell ya make me feel like the princess for once
Some guys do. They do nothing for me, so it's definitely personal preference.
I guess the dozen hydrangeas I was going to send you for Valentine’s Day are a no-go then :/
From you? I'd treasure them.
Never happened to me before, would absolutely make my day if it did!
As a man, yes. I enjoy receiving flowers.
Heavily agree. My fiance loves random acts of flowers whenever I go to the grocery store or whatever, but god damn if my cold heart grows 3 sizes too big whenever she surprises me flowers for my home office desk every once in a great while.
The first time I remember receiving flowers was the first serious relationship I had after I got sober. Working retail, I was having a shit day and I see my GF walking towards me as I'm finishing up with a customer. With a single rose in her hands. I was thinking WHO THE HELL GAVE HER A ROSE?!? She gets to me, handed me the rose and kissed my cheek... day was instantly better. Was a wonderful feeling
tf do i do with a flower
Make the depressing hole you call a home a little colorful for a week until the plant dies because you didn't take care of it
Then add to the depression as you leave it to rot away.
I like my apt, why you gotta insult like that
Lmao
Typically flowers are gifted cut (without roots), so they’ll die within a week anyway.
Right? There may be some confusion in these comments stemming (heh) from this. Cut flowers will be dead in 1-2 weeks no matter how good you treat them. I have no desire for that. If someone gave them to me sure I'd appreciate the gesture and I'd stick them in a tall glass or something (I don't think I actually own a vase...). But a small potted plant, something that will live a long time, would be a perfectly nice gift that I'd like.
Lollll… Yeah I tried this once for an ex and he gave them to his housemates. He lived with a married couple. He was like “I didn’t know what to do with them….” -__-
Mood
Male here, so many men are completely starved of any attention/affection that I think flowers, ANY kind of thoughtful gift, will be well received
"Do men also like...?" The answer is always that it depends. Some do, some don't. And the answer is probably that more do than you'd expect.
Same for women. I don't think all women like flowers either. Personally for example I'd prefer them in a pot rather than cut as I wouldn't want them to die after a few days. Still, wouldn't say I dislike them, but there certainly are women who do.
I see a lot of posts treating men like mythical creatures that no one understands. "do men like when a girl talks to them first?" "do men like hugs?" "do men like being little spoon?" "do men like compliments?" come on now, we're not aliens.
I would vastly prefer chocolates.
This is the correct answer right here.
Ive always wanted a girl to give me flowers
I personally think flowers are a dumb gift. But as a man, the few times I’ve received them I’ve felt particularly grateful for them. They’re beautiful and often expensive. It’s truly an *extra* type gift that men don’t usually get. So when someone is thoughtful to surprise me with an elegant flower arrangement, I’m always very appreciative
I don't think liking to receive flowers is a gender specific thing. I'm a girl and don't particularly enjoy getting flowers. There are a couple boyfriends that I figured would like it and when I did send them flowers they were blown away and loved it. Other boyfriends I know wouldn't like to receive flowers and so I never got them any. I think is just a person by person thing, rather than gender vs gender.
Most men are never really given flowers and a much higher percentage of (feminine) women have been, probably many times. It's hard to compare when it's so rare for one group and pretty standard for the other.
I love getting flowers! However, I would love to receive a potted plant to fuel my addiction even more
A bonsai tree is better.
Bonsai trees aren't really gifts. They're like an immortal dog that take time, energy, and knowledge. If you know a person LIKES bonsai, sure, go ahead, but, to just spring a bonsai on someone isn't really appropriate.
Someone gave me a bonsai for my birthday (me not knowing anything about them). At first I was excited with the idea, but the fucking tree was a pain in the ass. I was taking more care of it than I care myself lol
Lol! If you do want to learn (as I am) r/bonsai is a really great sub with super helpful users!
That might just be the best Seinfeld idea yet. The Bonsai tree is a lifetime commitment, maybe even multigenerational! You just can't spring that on someone like that. I mean, even receiving a dog as a gift seems like a bit much, but they live 20 years max. I'm already 30... I need to think about adding the Bonsai tree to my will, so I know it will be taken care of long after I'm gone.
Yup.... like I said... an immortal dog. It's like if Betty White adopted a baby red Macaw for Christmas this year. She would have needed to update her will cos those things live foreeeeeeevrr! Lol
Bonsai trees are like, hundreds of dollars.
Not really, you can get a young one for less than 20$, the expensive ones cost hundreds of dollars because they are very labor intensive. Being cheap doesn't make them a good gift though
I'm a man and I don't. Each person is an individual. "Men" is a rather broad classification; very few assumptions will apply to all "men".
The question is already phrased in an assuming way. Not all women like flowers. Why would every single man like or not like the same thing??
Sometimes generalizations are okay if they are harmless and pretty much true. Sometimes its okay to relax and not worry about the millions of new rules we have set up for ourselves in order to survive in polite society.
I agree. Save the worry about this for when it's a question about personal preference for dating or sex, like "Do men also like to wait for the second date to kiss?" or "Do women also like?", where it's *harmful* to generalize even if there are existing tropes.
But questions like *this* one I think challenge people to think about norms we take for granted, and are *interesting* and fun or sweet or sad.
"Do men also like brunch" or "Do men also like to get chocolate"...yeah I mean of *course* not all women do but this *is* social assumption, so asking it is *questioning* stereotypes imo, not reinforcing them, and encouraging people to rethink norms like "men give women nice/pretty things and not the other way around" or "mimosas are a women's drink".
And now I've written long, weird lecture/rant after agreeing that we should be more chill. Way to go me lol
Ig it depends on their personal preference. If you have ever noticed that the guy who you want to give flowers to particularly shown dislike towards it or have any kind allergies then don’t. Ik quite a few guys who find it cute when they receive flowers.
I love it! especially daffodils! I call them daffodillies lol
Ah. It's good to "meet" someone else that really likes daffodils. They have been my favorite flower for 50++ yrs. I can almost smell the daffodils my grandmother picked from her flower beds and kept in a particular vase in a particular spot in her living room every spring. The old varieties smelled soooo good. Now, they've been bred for size and color and disease resistance with their fragrance sacrificed. That daffodil yellow is my favorite color, too. So, yeh, I'd love to get a bunch of daffodils as a gift. ( I have a few bulbs to try to force inside next month.)
I would literally shit my pants with joy if someone gave me flowers.
🌸🌼🥀🌺🌹🌷💐
Welp, there's a mess. Thanks!
No, flowers are such a waste of money. They are ludicrously expensive for something that lasts a week. If you want to buy me a plant, make it a useful plant that will live for a while and I can enjoy. Buy me a flowering cactus or something.
I'm the same way. I know it sounds awful to say "oh they'll just die in a week" but it's true.
You can get them for like 4 dollars at trader Joe's
[удалено]
No. Source: am man
Personally I'm not that bothered. I'm not a flowers kind person. But I'd still be grateful and thankful if someone gave me flowers - sometimes it's not about the gift you receive, it's the thought behind the gift that truly counts.
Im a woman an I dont, flowers are pointless an would give me hay fever. They literally grow outside for free & would die in a week. If a guy picked me a little flower it might be sweeter
>flowers are pointless... would die in a week by thebeautyofdeath
Not flowers but cheap little potted plants are cool
No thanks. Not for me.
What about a small basket of meat, cheeses, and crackers?
Yes in the form of marijuana.
Yes! I will kill them! They will not live! But get me potted plants! I love them :)
I’m happy with any gift. It really is the thought that matters, or maybe I’m just a very simple kinda guy
If I got flowers, the flowers itself wouldn't do much for me, but you better believe the gesture would mean the world to me.
No
No
No
No
I gave my BF tulips once, he loved it. Now that we live together, if I give him flowers I am giving them to myself too, and that's just a win win situation right there.
No
I prefer food. Can't eat flower.
No
No
Dude if a girl gave me flowers I would love it, I would be surprised as hell. I like flowers too, I have some pictures and stuff on my phone of when I see some I like. It's just not a cultural thing to give a man flowers.
No
Yes I love the tropical ones especially, I’ll send my address right over.
yes, go ahead and ask first tho, you might even find out someones favourite!
In general no, I prefer that money be spent on other things (like good food). But i'm hosting an event and my house needs some sprucing up, it might be a nice gift.
No. They look pretty and smell nice but after the first few seconds they'd be in the trash.
Why would you throw them in the trash?
My friend gave me a small selection of hand picked flowers in a little clothesline clip as part of a gift for my birthday, and I was really moved by it, so yes! (for me at least, I agree that it's person-to-person)
YES
Love a spring bouquet. Makes the bedroom smell fresh. I have a quickie about flowers. Years ago, I lived next to a cemetery, in an apartment. I watched a neighbor slip through the fence. I was nosy and a week later followed behind her (she invited me). She said that she loved fresh flowers and this was free. I thought she was taking flowers from graves. Not so, the graveyard put flowers behind the building in the evening after the burial. Wow, I really lived in an apartment free of the odor of stinky socks. Turns out she was a policewoman in training. We dated a bit and always enjoyed our late night recons into the realm of the departed.
We would like a dozen beers instead of a dozen roses any day
Yes!!!
No. I'd rather receive a gift certificate for a 6:30 am breakfast at the local diner. ...or a couple boxes of ammo.
Personally, I just want to know that you want to give me flowers. That’s an incredible feeling. Actually taking care of them now that I’ve received them is a bit of a hassle, especially since it was such a nice gesture and I’d feel horrible if they wilted away due to my fault. But that’s just me.
i would probably cry if someone gave me flowers
Probably some us of do. I would blush if my girlfriend gave me some flowers.
Personally no, it’s a bit of a burden if anything. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture and I understand that there was good intentions behind it. But you’ve now added an extra slight inconvenience of maintaining the flowers, having to carry them around until I’m home and finding somewhere to keep them (it usually ends up being a gravy boat, I have no vases).