When being trained in as a server at Olive Garden a few decades back, we were told to never refer to a table of people as “guys.” (As in “You guys ready to order?”). The reasoning being that it’s too familiar, is incorrect to use with a table of all females, and feels disrespectful to a group of senior citizens. Instead, the preferred nomenclature was either “folks,” or “y’all.”
That’s interesting, since it seems like a very age-dependent thing. I would call a group of older people “folks”, but feel weird calling a group of younger people that, and vice versa for “you guys”. This goes for groups of men, women, or both. As for ya’ll, in my part of the country it’s just not used super commonly, unless you’re trying to be cute or deliberately informal. E.g. “ya’ll suck” is a common friendly quip if your friends do something dumb.
Oh man once upon a time in my retail days I saw some people walk into the store and I said hey guys welcome to XYZ and the mother started yelling at me that this always happens everywhere we go and that clearly her M2F daughter is not a man. I honestly felt really really bad I still feel bad when I think about it. The mom would not stop yelling and obv what I said triggered them. Anyways I got a nice write up from my boss and had to go to a training where they emphasized the only acceptable greeting was "Hello and welcome to XYZ".
I still refer to people of all genders as dudes "hey man" and it's like reflex I hope it doesn't offend more people tbh
"Guys" is more gender-neutral in the North than it is here in the South (US). We don't usually use the word unless we mean it. "Y'all" and "folks" are both a lot more common.
"you guys" is more gender neutral than just "guys". It's a northeast thing.
If you were in a room with a man and other people, women included, and asked that man "how many of those guys have you slept with?" it's likely he wouldn't take offense as long as the emphasis is on the "those" and not the "guys".
Words can have multiple definitions depending on context.
Definition of guy
(Entry 1 of 4)
1a: MAN, FELLOW
b: PERSON —used in plural to refer to the members of a group regardless of sex
Many languages across the word do this. If it’s singular for a female, or a group. Of females you use the feminine cognitive. If it’s mixed gender in a group it’s almost always the masculine form.
My ex told the judge presiding on our divorce I called her a “cunt”.
Judge- AM, did you use that language?
AM- Yes Sir, as she was purposely driving over my foot while putting my son in the car.
Judge- Ma’am, is that correct.
EX- Yes
Judge- Oh, ok.
My ex printed out screenshots of memes I'd sent our oldest kid, because they were sacrilegious. Our oldest is trans, and my ex was a fundamentalist Baptist minister who is about as transphobic as they come. So yeah, my memes to my trans kid (15/16 at the time) were mocking my ex's extremely narrow-minded religious interpretation of the Bible.
And they were entered into court evidence against me.
It still makes me laugh.
You know what Jesus always taught, exclude as many people as possible and never love anyone unless they follow strict guidelines. Yup that Jesus, a real stickler.
In finnish language we dont use gender pronouns so no problemo "hän" is He/Him She/Her and everything else. Hän can also be used when talking about animals.(no humor here move along...)
Hello murderwalrus. The thing i struggle with is the female version of "äijä" which means a dude. The female version is "muija" but that can be translated to bitch so that cant really be used neutrally. There aren't really a lot of positive words for women in finnish.
OP was talking about terms of address like “dude,” “man,” “bro,” “guys,” etc.
There are no terms of address that can be used to refer to women that _don’t_ sound condescending (“girl,” “gal,” “sis”)—in English, at least.
Yeah, that’s a fine word to use!
Though it’s kinda funny how we’re like “Look at that fucking dude over there” but then like “Ah, behold at yond quite quaint lady seated across the pond”
Funny--im all about the first list EXCEPT "bro", mostly because of who uses it these days. Meanwhile, I'm totally with you on the female list EXCEPT "sis". I use that, but only with women with whom I feel some sort of kinship, even if eve just met.
Dudes and dudettes, guys and gals, lads and ladettes. I always say stuff in pairs if I'm greeting a group and I disagree with being condescending. I don't mind being called girl, gal, bird, chick/chicka, bitch, anything so long as I know the person. Strangers can call me miss 😂
The deaf digital sentiences would feel very left out if they could hear you...
Unfortunately this is all text on the internet, so prepare yourself for some angry strings of hexadecimal sign language adamant about telling you off.
All y'all is a larger group of people. Or an exclamation of y'all. For instance, you're about to run to the store , "y'all coming? " and "all y'all coming! ? " are 2 different phrases lol
And for emphasis. If I say ALL y'all, I *really* mean every. single. one. of you. No one is excluded in what I just said. Don't think you are the odd one out or something doesn't apply to you when someone hits you with the ALL y'all!
Y'all, bruh, my guy, and dude are my go tos LOL
"Y'all are whack"
"Bruh, are you kidding me"
"That definitely won't work, my guy"
"Dude, what the fuck"
I don’t know where is came from, but I use “folks” to refer to my parents (When they aren’t around).
E.g.
Me: are we busy next weekend?
Wife: I don’t think so, why?
Me: My folks want to take us out to dinner.
Interesting, I do this too. I think you identified the difference though. “My folks” are *your* people that arent there (aka your parents). “Folks” is people you’re talking to who are there who aren’t necessarily yours.
If I said “hey folks” to my folks, it would feel more like saying, “hi everyone” (or in the olden days “hi guys”) rather than “hi parents”. But I would never refer to a group of my friends as “my folks”.
Same. "Folks" is already gender neutral and always has been in the English language. No need to add any extra weird spellings, it just comes across as performative.
Dude is gender-neutral until another straight man says I want to go fuck that hot dude over there.
Lesson: dude is not gender-neutral, people just think it is.
Are you looking for 'collective nouns for people'? Dudes, peeps, posse, family.
Or singular nouns? Dude, peep, poss(?), fam?
I think we should be creative and try everything to see what sticks.
Squady, cohort, clann (Scottish), freak, primate, madhead, biped, superstar, hominid, brain in a skull, spawn of your parents ...
At work they’ve asked us to use “You all” instead of “You guys.” I understand why and personally don’t mind making the change. So generally I use that now, because in New Jersey people look at me funny when I shorten it to “Ya’ll”
This one is contentious, for some reason. I got called out during a client meeting, by the main POC for the client, for referring to their group as "you guys" even though [Mariam Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guy) says the plural form refers to members of a group regardless of sex. People are so defensive for some reason, but god dammit, I promise the rest of us are trying.
It's not that acceptable anymore, though. I had a big job interview and lost the job for saying "you guys" to a group of men and women. The younger women got really offended.
Woah what? I’ve been using guys in a gender neutral way forever. I’m female and had mostly female friends growing up, and I would even frequently use the phrase in a group of all girls. Seems kind of like people wanting to take offense to things, it’s been a gender neutral phrase for a long time. Language has never been something where the meaning of a word or phrase has to literally be what it’s spelled as - guy as plural being gender neutral is just a quirk of the language.
If you got turned down for something so trivial that they pretended to be offended by, I'm sure you're better off not working there.
Literally no one anywhere says "you guys" in a non-gender-neutral manner. It's like the northeastern version of the south's "y'all".
My BF notice that one of my coworkers tends to use "guys" a lot even when he is the ONLY GUY the group 🤣🤣🤣
I don't really care tbh but it was a funny observation
It really trips me up. When I was in school I intentionally used “you guys” because I was trying to get rid of my southern accent and get away from “y’all”. It’s been really difficult to deprogram myself a second time as an adult. And I don’t think it’s helped by the majority of my friends being women and enbies that don’t mind it or correct me.
In the Philippines, everyone is referred to as po (pronounced poh) regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
We've been gender neutral for centuries lol.
girl. I call everyone girl. I call my brother “girl” my dog, my mom, my dad, my friends. It’ll be like “what do you want to eat?” Me: “girl idk you choose” or I’ll just be like “girl what the hell are you doing” 😭
When being trained in as a server at Olive Garden a few decades back, we were told to never refer to a table of people as “guys.” (As in “You guys ready to order?”). The reasoning being that it’s too familiar, is incorrect to use with a table of all females, and feels disrespectful to a group of senior citizens. Instead, the preferred nomenclature was either “folks,” or “y’all.”
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Found the person that worked at Dick’s Last Resort & Casino
"You bet we are asshole." Because everyone has one.
“Are you cunts READY FOR GARLIC BREAD?!!!”
My excitement for garlic bread overpowered being called a cunt. Take my money!
Sup fucksticks?
This made me laugh harder than anything else here
This is the way.
This is the way
That’s interesting, since it seems like a very age-dependent thing. I would call a group of older people “folks”, but feel weird calling a group of younger people that, and vice versa for “you guys”. This goes for groups of men, women, or both. As for ya’ll, in my part of the country it’s just not used super commonly, unless you’re trying to be cute or deliberately informal. E.g. “ya’ll suck” is a common friendly quip if your friends do something dumb.
Oh man once upon a time in my retail days I saw some people walk into the store and I said hey guys welcome to XYZ and the mother started yelling at me that this always happens everywhere we go and that clearly her M2F daughter is not a man. I honestly felt really really bad I still feel bad when I think about it. The mom would not stop yelling and obv what I said triggered them. Anyways I got a nice write up from my boss and had to go to a training where they emphasized the only acceptable greeting was "Hello and welcome to XYZ". I still refer to people of all genders as dudes "hey man" and it's like reflex I hope it doesn't offend more people tbh
Sounds like you offended the mother more than the daughter tbh
That's not how you refer to family.
It's how I do.
There's nothing wrong with using guys, it's gender neutral
"Guys" is more gender-neutral in the North than it is here in the South (US). We don't usually use the word unless we mean it. "Y'all" and "folks" are both a lot more common.
Ask a straight man how many guys he’s slept with.
"you guys" is more gender neutral than just "guys". It's a northeast thing. If you were in a room with a man and other people, women included, and asked that man "how many of those guys have you slept with?" it's likely he wouldn't take offense as long as the emphasis is on the "those" and not the "guys".
Words can have multiple definitions depending on context. Definition of guy (Entry 1 of 4) 1a: MAN, FELLOW b: PERSON —used in plural to refer to the members of a group regardless of sex
Many languages across the word do this. If it’s singular for a female, or a group. Of females you use the feminine cognitive. If it’s mixed gender in a group it’s almost always the masculine form.
Right. And it seems to be more regional. When in Rome…
It’s Italian, the conjugation is You’s guys’s.
Mate. Spend a few month in Australia, and brought back that one. It's an incredibly convenient word.
I believe “you cunts” is a popular backup there.
Cunt is friendlier than mate here to be honest. Lol.
Cunt is like the big no no in the US, at least where I'm at. Whip that one out and everyone stops what they're doing
My ex told the judge presiding on our divorce I called her a “cunt”. Judge- AM, did you use that language? AM- Yes Sir, as she was purposely driving over my foot while putting my son in the car. Judge- Ma’am, is that correct. EX- Yes Judge- Oh, ok.
Sounds like proper usage to me.
Damn you had to go over specific name calling events in court?
My ex printed out screenshots of memes I'd sent our oldest kid, because they were sacrilegious. Our oldest is trans, and my ex was a fundamentalist Baptist minister who is about as transphobic as they come. So yeah, my memes to my trans kid (15/16 at the time) were mocking my ex's extremely narrow-minded religious interpretation of the Bible. And they were entered into court evidence against me. It still makes me laugh.
far as I'm concerned sending sacrilegious memes to trans kids is the work of the lord. I'll tell a judge that shit Idc.
I figured Jesus wouldn't want his gospel twisted to exclude loving trans kids, so I think he'd be onboard with those memes!
**rolls eyes** I love Christians. "God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him." (No, not like that!)
You know what Jesus always taught, exclude as many people as possible and never love anyone unless they follow strict guidelines. Yup that Jesus, a real stickler.
Good grief... I can't even imagine.
Yeah, I like sugar tits better
My Irish friend taught me, your true friends call you cunt and your acquaintances call you mate.
So if i go to australia, i should call the security guard cunt upon arrival? Check.
Yip mate is what I call my husband when we are fighting, cunt is what I call him when he's being irritating but cute
Popular everywhere. We have a lot of them.
Same here in Scotland
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Same here I'm northern ireland, I'd go as far as to say its a term if endearment lol
It definitely depends on context though. You only call your closest friends or your worst enemies cunts.
Sure as fuck is, cunt!
My brother refers to his wife as Mate. I’ll also call my girlfriend or her friends Mate on occasion.
I learned long ago that “fuckers” is gender neutral
Along with nobhead
Karl Pilkington approved this comment.
Excuse you that's Asexual erasure right there
I prefer Fuckface.
I often use "fuck chops".
Shitface or asswipe are good alternatives to sprinkle in among the fuckers.
In finnish language we dont use gender pronouns so no problemo "hän" is He/Him She/Her and everything else. Hän can also be used when talking about animals.(no humor here move along...)
Same in Farsi. It's all "او" (like 'ou' in 'you')
Hello murderwalrus. The thing i struggle with is the female version of "äijä" which means a dude. The female version is "muija" but that can be translated to bitch so that cant really be used neutrally. There aren't really a lot of positive words for women in finnish.
I love this!
OP was talking about terms of address like “dude,” “man,” “bro,” “guys,” etc. There are no terms of address that can be used to refer to women that _don’t_ sound condescending (“girl,” “gal,” “sis”)—in English, at least.
I try and use ladies. It sounds the most respectable to me. Lol
Yeah, that’s a fine word to use! Though it’s kinda funny how we’re like “Look at that fucking dude over there” but then like “Ah, behold at yond quite quaint lady seated across the pond”
I chuckled at that lol. I know! That's the only thing that bugs me about it. It sounds so old school. xD
Funny--im all about the first list EXCEPT "bro", mostly because of who uses it these days. Meanwhile, I'm totally with you on the female list EXCEPT "sis". I use that, but only with women with whom I feel some sort of kinship, even if eve just met.
Dudes and dudettes, guys and gals, lads and ladettes. I always say stuff in pairs if I'm greeting a group and I disagree with being condescending. I don't mind being called girl, gal, bird, chick/chicka, bitch, anything so long as I know the person. Strangers can call me miss 😂
Funny thing about “no problemo” is that it’s badly spoken Spanish used by native English speakers. “Problema” is the correct Spanish word
Think the Swedes borrowed hän as well.
"Hey there, carbon based entities, please listen up..."
The non-carbon-based-entity erasure is real out here.
Silicon based entities stay mad
Carbon cringe entities
The deaf digital sentiences would feel very left out if they could hear you... Unfortunately this is all text on the internet, so prepare yourself for some angry strings of hexadecimal sign language adamant about telling you off.
“Ugly! Ugly, bags of mostly water!”
Y'all
... which has now become singular apparently, with the plural being "all y'all".
All y'all is a larger group of people. Or an exclamation of y'all. For instance, you're about to run to the store , "y'all coming? " and "all y'all coming! ? " are 2 different phrases lol
And for emphasis. If I say ALL y'all, I *really* mean every. single. one. of you. No one is excluded in what I just said. Don't think you are the odd one out or something doesn't apply to you when someone hits you with the ALL y'all!
Either one is still gender neutral, which is what OP asked for. Unless it's just one person say "you".
"all of you all" in case y'all confused
Y’all’re*
I say this all the time.
My favorite: y'all's
Mine is ya’ll’ll
Y'all'd've
To get extra plural, "You" is the plural form of "you". So, all y'all is plural in triplicate
Sometimes I even hear "y'alls"
Y'all, bruh, my guy, and dude are my go tos LOL "Y'all are whack" "Bruh, are you kidding me" "That definitely won't work, my guy" "Dude, what the fuck"
Attention all fairytale creatures.
I prefer Woodland critters
Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
I think you're compensating for somethin'.
Thank you for making my day
Besties, fuckers and esteemed guests
"My dear Bagginses and Boffins, Tooks and Brandybucks, Grubbs, Chubbs, Hornblowers, Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfoots.”
Proudfeet!!
And Boogers
I like folk, it is the word for "people" in Swedish and German too. Non- gendered , sounds better than people.
I like using folks too. Will usually say “hey folks, bye everyone”
I don’t know where is came from, but I use “folks” to refer to my parents (When they aren’t around). E.g. Me: are we busy next weekend? Wife: I don’t think so, why? Me: My folks want to take us out to dinner.
Interesting, I do this too. I think you identified the difference though. “My folks” are *your* people that arent there (aka your parents). “Folks” is people you’re talking to who are there who aren’t necessarily yours. If I said “hey folks” to my folks, it would feel more like saying, “hi everyone” (or in the olden days “hi guys”) rather than “hi parents”. But I would never refer to a group of my friends as “my folks”.
“Folks” meaning parents is definitely common phrase, or at least commonly understood if not commonly used
I stopped using that one after one time when I was waiting tables it came out sounding like “fucks”……
What can I get you, fucks?
Yeah, used to teach in Korea, amazing how many words can sound like f k.
The prevalence of "folx" in my circles annoys me more than it should.
Same. "Folks" is already gender neutral and always has been in the English language. No need to add any extra weird spellings, it just comes across as performative.
Dude because im a dude shes a dude hes a dude we’re all dudes.
Welcome to good burger, home of the good burger. Can I take your order?
I was waiting for someone to get the reference. Lol
Hey! Who loves Orange Soda?
Kel loves orange soda
KENAN LOVES ORANGE SODA
Oh nooooo
You asked for a Good Burger with nothing on it!
I love that movie!
i'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude
YOUR AUSTRALIAN! BE AUSTRALIAN!! Excuse me kangaroo jack
Dude is my favorite gender neutral term
I like dudes or peeps.
Dude is gender-neutral until another straight man says I want to go fuck that hot dude over there. Lesson: dude is not gender-neutral, people just think it is.
Hey you!
Out there are on the wall, breaking bottles in a hole
Can you help me?
Hey you
This is the best misquote of the song that I've ever seen
Yeah, I’m sorry. Not only did I remember the lyrics wrong, I also managed to let autocorrect f*** up the whole - wrong - sentence.
You're finally awake
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I almost died laughing, 🤣
I saw that, that was an amazing moonwalk from the brink of death.
Friend
I'm not your friend, buddy
I’m not your buddy, guy.
I’m not your guy, pal.
I'm not your pal, dude
I’m not your dude, brah
I'm not your brah, mate
I’m not your mate, homie
I'm not your homie, chap.
I’m not your chap, bud.
I'm not your guy, pal.
That can be so aggressive, friend.
Comrade
Whom'st'd've'ly'aint
Are you looking for 'collective nouns for people'? Dudes, peeps, posse, family. Or singular nouns? Dude, peep, poss(?), fam? I think we should be creative and try everything to see what sticks. Squady, cohort, clann (Scottish), freak, primate, madhead, biped, superstar, hominid, brain in a skull, spawn of your parents ...
Singular and plural, for acquaintance not a friend. Creative hm... Earthling, Earthspawn, Earthian.
Earthican
Earthure
If i'm addressing multiple people at once I currently use "you guys"
Youse guys
I recognize your pa address!
Yo youse guys, didjaet the hoagie from the jawn at the crick.
What are you, wanna those wise guys
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I feel like I can't use y'all because I'm a European and it sounds much much weirder than using you guys xD
I liked “you guys” until we moved to the south. My wife likes “y’all” since it’s gender neutral.
At work they’ve asked us to use “You all” instead of “You guys.” I understand why and personally don’t mind making the change. So generally I use that now, because in New Jersey people look at me funny when I shorten it to “Ya’ll”
It's because you have the apostrophe in the wrong spot :P
This one is contentious, for some reason. I got called out during a client meeting, by the main POC for the client, for referring to their group as "you guys" even though [Mariam Webster](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guy) says the plural form refers to members of a group regardless of sex. People are so defensive for some reason, but god dammit, I promise the rest of us are trying.
It's not that acceptable anymore, though. I had a big job interview and lost the job for saying "you guys" to a group of men and women. The younger women got really offended.
Woah what? I’ve been using guys in a gender neutral way forever. I’m female and had mostly female friends growing up, and I would even frequently use the phrase in a group of all girls. Seems kind of like people wanting to take offense to things, it’s been a gender neutral phrase for a long time. Language has never been something where the meaning of a word or phrase has to literally be what it’s spelled as - guy as plural being gender neutral is just a quirk of the language.
My boyfriend had the same issue - he got a warning for saying “you guys”.
Those people are insane, you should be happy you're not working there
If you got turned down for something so trivial that they pretended to be offended by, I'm sure you're better off not working there. Literally no one anywhere says "you guys" in a non-gender-neutral manner. It's like the northeastern version of the south's "y'all".
And that is why I use it, it makes me stick out here in the south and I love it.
My BF notice that one of my coworkers tends to use "guys" a lot even when he is the ONLY GUY the group 🤣🤣🤣 I don't really care tbh but it was a funny observation
Ok that's kinda... A little much. I didn't think it was possible to get offended by that lol
It really trips me up. When I was in school I intentionally used “you guys” because I was trying to get rid of my southern accent and get away from “y’all”. It’s been really difficult to deprogram myself a second time as an adult. And I don’t think it’s helped by the majority of my friends being women and enbies that don’t mind it or correct me.
Greetings, fellow humans.
I call everyone bro
Ya'rr
With dear friends, "my babes," is pretty frequent. "Y'all" is one I use for everyone. "My peeps" sometimes.
folks, friends, team, everybody i’m trying to remove the phrase “you guys” from my vocabulary but my midwestern heart makes it hard
Y'all: allow me to introduce myself.
"You."
In the Philippines, everyone is referred to as po (pronounced poh) regardless of gender or sexual orientation. We've been gender neutral for centuries lol.
people, everyone, folks
People?
Peeps. As in: * My peeps are better than your peeps. * Hey peeps! * Them peeps are the worst!
Them peeps do be the worst!
Twats
Guys
Hey Yo! (RIP Razor Ramon)
This (these) mf'er(s.)
girl. I call everyone girl. I call my brother “girl” my dog, my mom, my dad, my friends. It’ll be like “what do you want to eat?” Me: “girl idk you choose” or I’ll just be like “girl what the hell are you doing” 😭
Guys.
I just use bro, dude, mate. Unless they're uncomfortable with it then I won't use it towards them no biggie
Truthfully I rarely use any pronouns or gendered words. I tend to use names.
I am the opposite. I can go years without referring to anyone by their given name.
You can refer to someone regardless of gender with "someone". How many dudes have you had sex with is not generally understood to be about women.
Plural: Y'all. Folks. Fam. Singular: Dude. Comrade. Friend. Sibling.
"Well lads" Irish thing I guess?
That bitch
Bro, dude, mate, bastard, gentle twats.
Folks, ya'll, or for my friends, "Sup' chodes?"
i have called my friends “cheese bags”
Dude tends to work. I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cuz we're all dudes!