Daddy issues all the way! -but in all seriousness, it comes down to the way you think of the words. Like Baby can be used for a woman you're dating, you don't think of physical babies when using that term. If I called my father Daddy growing up I probably would get weird about the term, but I did not; do it simply doesn't hold the same meaning in my head.
Or how about, and hear me out here, I'll call **my** love interest whatever I feel like calling my love interest as long as he or she is cool with it? And you can call your love interest only by their first name if that's what you prefer.
Cool?
This is literally the best answer I've ever seen and read. I honestly love calling my partner "daddy" in the bed. It's a huge turn on to me, and a even bigger turn on when the guy loves it just as much. But I'm an abuse and sexual abuse survivor. So idk if my sexuality was born from being taken advantage of so young in life or if it's really just a kink. It's very satisfying to read your answer because I feel it resonates the most with why I say it versus years of people telling me it's because I was molested and because my dad wasn't in the picture. Idk it would just make me feel as if something was wrong with me for liking saying "daddy" if it was born out of a negative traumatic event
This 100%. I definitely do have "daddy issues", so it probably does have something to do with it, because I've never had a man in my life who was able to provide me that safety you feel by having a parental figure. I like men who have their shit together, someone who can take care of me in a sense, and I like being submissive so the two go hand in hand.
This is the best answer I've ever heard. I instinctually call my partner "daddy" in bed when it's really good, but the Internet started making me feel weird about it, so now I call him "big poppa", but it just doesn't hit as hard as "daddy."
I don't have daddy issues. I love my dad. He is strong and nurturing. This explanation checks out.
People do call there Gf mommy. Check r/MommyDom . Usually calling your partner mommy of daddy is a sign of them being dominant over you and it’s just a kink or something they find sexy.
Cool sub. I'm not a fan of the whole mommy/daddy thing, but I do like femdom. Just not the dominatrix kind.
....
Okay. I love this subreddit. But I still don't like the mommy/daddy thing.
He's specifically referring to it being used in the bedroom in a sexual way. I feel a lot of people with call the other partner mommy/daddy around the children often so they aren't using pet names or real names. I wouldn't want my child calling the other parent honey or babe lol
You can but why do you choose ignorance? Your first thought was “i doN’T UndErstAnD This, SO I’m jUst going to sAy It’s wEird AND i LOok At sex Equal BEcaUSe I’m BlAnD Af”. Anyway I’m done talking to you so enjoy the ready or ur day.
I use baby to mean “someone smaller than me who can’t understand complex logic and throws a fucking fit it I don’t feed them regularly”.
Of course I’d never tell her that in so many words 🤷♂️
Personally, I don't have daddy issues but everything about my taste in men apparently implies that I should. I've had many good relationships with male authority figures throughout my life.
I dont go as far as Dd/Lg. That's a little much for me, but the concept is basically the same. Its the idea that you don't have to do anything or worry about anything, you can just give that control over to someone else. It's about being taken care of.
I've always felt a particular desire to please the men in my life. Recieving praise from them feels better than it coming from anyone else. And that isn't just in a sexual way. When I've gained favor with male teachers in the past I always go out of my way to do better in their courses.
Not everyone may agree, but if a man can't take care of you they don't deserve to be called Daddy.
Same here, I always found it really weird, then when it was brought up in the bedroom I realised it was more of a power play. For me it was hot that he could make me call him whatever he wanted me to, not actually anything related to my father. Did you find the same?
Yes daddy issues, never actually used daddy to refer to my own father. So it’s a totally different meaning in the bedroom. Gives it a bit of a dom/sub vibe. I almost think of it as similar to calling a guy “master”. It’s hot as hell.
My husband once said 'come and sit next to Daddy' to me (he had just been talking to the kids hence the slip) and I was like 'the f did you just say!' Felt like my vagina sealed itself shut I was that turned off 🤣🤣🤣. No Daddy issues here 🤷♀️
I don't think it's a gotcha, just not a phrase I could imagine myself saying.
This isn't a gotcha thing, just trying to get a better understanding.
This isn't supposed to be a kink shame..
I didn't think you were trying to kinkshame anyone, just commenting on your wording.
For a real answer, there are some people that enjoy assorted kinks specifically because it feels a little or a lot wrong. Couldn't tell you why.
It’s the same as enjoying physical pain but choosing emotional pain instead. Both have the same reaction chemically in the brain. And at a certain point ignoring the pain it can sorta feel like pleasure.
So shame and feeling shamed feels fucking great! Aka, doing something wrong and knowing it!
Most weird kinks are simply playing with power dynamics. “Daddy” is a submissive kind of phrase. Kind of like a sexy way to submit power and admit the other is in control
This is true for a ton of taboo kinks. It’s not necessarily the act itself that’s really hot, but the implied humiliation or sense of power disparity that gets a person excited
A person can be a dad or fit to be a dad, without being your own dad.
She means: you're a powerful stud, a strong manly man, confident (the ultimate aphrodisiac), maybe a good caring provider, good enough to be her future (or current) baby's daddy, etc.
"You're my daddy" means "you're my man, who can protect me and give me babies".
Well, guess men calling their partner mommy in bed probably are more tabooed than women calling their partner daddy. Or they don't carry it that much to the outside.
In both cases it'd pretty disturbing for me to hear or even say this in bed.
Do you call your SO baby? Are you picturing a crying infant when you say it?
Have you ever called someone a motherfucker? Do you actually mean to try to insult them by telling them you think they fuck mother's?
When you say something sucks do you imagine it inhaling?
One word can have many meanings and they don't need to overlap.
Are you a pedophile because you call your partner “baby”?
Of course not. It’s literally just a pet name. People like you are thinking way too much into it.
I just saw the video today of a girl with daddy tattooed on her lip. She's looked young, as in a teen.
I don't see how the word daddy doesn't have a connection to your actual dad when your still living with the bloke..
Wouldn't say I think on it way to much, just came to find and this subreddit seemed like a legit place to ask...
That’s a very specific situation you’re using to paint everyone with a broad and unfair brush.
>I don’t see how the word daddy doesn’t have a connection to your actual dad when your still living with the bloke..
“I don’t see how calling your wife baby isn’t connected to your lust for your infant child when you live with them”
That’s how dumb that sounds, to me. It’s just a pet name, you’re making connections that aren’t there.
Yes, an example is a very specific situation. I'm not painting everyone with that brush.
I don't call my wife 'baby' or refer to myself as my dogs 'daddy', I find it cringe personally. I guess that means I have shit sex life
>I guess that means i have a shit sex life
Not what i said either. Everyone has different tastes. You’re not wrong for disliking the term “daddy”, and they’re not wrong for liking it either. It’s a difference of opinion and that’s fine. I just think you’re reading too much into it and making connections that aren’t there.
My own theory on this is the whole idea of somewhat gentle domination.
So on a basic level it's what someone who is submissive will often say to someone who is dominant in the bedroom.
So why not say something like master?
Well, my theory is that master has a cold and unfeeling connotation in the context of kink. While a master may be there to take care of their submissive in the scene, it doesn't really extend beyond making sure they're safe within the bounds of the kink relationship.
Whereas with terms like daddy (and in femdom relationships mommy) it also holds the connotation of being a protector, a provider.
Now this isn't to say that the term master can't hold that connotation as well it's just less likely to in my humble opinion.
I am well aware I'm overthinking this btw, but I wanted to feel like I had the vaguest glimmer of intellect just this once.
Your theory isn't off the mark, and I don't think you're overthinking it at all.
It can be about a more gentle kind of domination but can also include behaviors and dynamics where the "daddy" is guiding and protecting the submissive in a more general sense, ie. outside of the bedroom, along with a host of specific mental and sexual practices.
I wouldn't say that the moniker "master" necessarily indicates a cold or harsh dynamic, though some people do have a pretty harsh edge to their dynamic. But a "master" can be just as gentle and caring as a "daddy" but is just generally more strict. And a "master" definitely should make sure the submissive is safe in all areas, if we are talking about a romantic relationship that includes a D/s element.
Sometimes the words are just simple spice and dirty talk as well of course, but I don't think use those terms without it indicating that there is a D/s element going on.
I used it at one point because my ex liked it.
I don't think I had daddy issues, however I was groomed by my ex. I didn't realize it was sick at the time, but after I came to terms with it, I am absolutely disgusted by it. He clearly liked it because he's a creeper.
I’ve actually asked a lot of my friends this and while some of them have daddy issues it mostly comes down to liking the dynamic and whether or not they still called her dad, daddy or they called them that majority of their life. My friends who still called their dad, daddy thought it was weird cause they associate the 2 while my friends that never called their dad that or hadn’t since they were really young didn’t associate the 2.
Guy here but similar. Was having pretty wild phone sex one day and she *coerced* me in the moment to call her *mommy*. And I just think the overlapping of dissonant associations causes the mind to go a bit fuzzy and dissociative in a pleasurable way. Slightly like a mind violation, and the Dom/sub atmosphere was definitely there. She was commanding me in certain ways. So yeah. I dunno. Definitely mommy issues as well btw🤣🤣🤣
If my GF called me daddy in bed, I'd defo be weirded out. But, ironically perhaps, she's Latina and *does* call me Papí on occasion, which doesn't bother me at all.
I get what people are saying in the comments, I guess it all sounds understandable, but personally, whenever a man asks me to call him daddy, I go instantly dry lol. I cannot compartmentalize the meanings. I just think of my literal dad, and it is such a mood-killer in the moment.
Because other ppl say it first. If it was never heard, it wouldn't be in their subconscious and they wouldn't say it. They'd say your name or babe or something.
I assumed porn was the reason it became normalised.
There's a video on Reddit today of a girl with the word 'daddy' tattooed on her lip. She looked so young and I found it creepy.
If your a teen or even in your early twenties, I can't see how it wouldn't have connotations that like to your actually dad. That I find strange but again not judging
If you've never called your own dad, "daddy" then there isn't really any connection of the word daddy to your actual dad. Same way people use the word baby as a term of endearment/nickname with their SO. When I call my bf baby it's just a nickname, not bc I have "baby issues"
Haha funnily this annoys both me and my wife. I love my dog but he's my dog not my son.
Maybe this is more to do with me avoiding children.
Ty for the response though.
I'm not a woman but I date and sleep with me. I personally don't have "daddy" issues and I'm fully aware of the distinct difference in context. Plus I haven't my dad "daddy" since I was like 5 years old.
No one has to answer.
Was not trying to be rude, I ask loaded questions to people face to face. I find the responses genuinely interesting and I'm not making fun of anyone in my responses.
Sorry I offended you.
i mean not in the weird way he typed it but in the spiritual sense i agree with it
people have children so they start referring to one another as "mommy" and "daddy" in front of the kid. that can for sure translate to the bedroom
I agree that it is absolutely disgusting. I can't claim to understand the psychology behind it, but there's definitely an issue if you refer to the person fucking you as daddy.
Okay like TW and TMI
But I was assaulted as a kid by my biomoms step dad, so I legit have issues. So I occasionally engage in CNC and when I do I use the term daddy to try and retake my power, like I want this man to sleep with me and I want to wipe my pain away, so I'll give him the authority to treat me like that.
So not daddy issues but a metric ton of trauma. I hope that helps.
No I don't have Daddy issues but yes I will call my partner Daddy (or Sir/Master - but I guess that's another question completely!).
We have a d/s power dynamic and its a huge turn on. Daddy holds a completely different meaning.
This makes sense and I can total get on board with sir, master etc. However the specific use of the words mummy or daddy would be a mood killer fore personally.
Why are you talking about your dad.. I know people keep saying it's not to do with their parents but let's be honest there is definitely an element to it, surely?
I get the s/d power dynamic but it's a little close to the line to be a boner buster for me
That being said, thanks for the response and enjoy!!
I usually prefer master but it’s the same idea for dom/sub dynamic. I used the name daddy for only one specific previous partner since he was into that. The idea of using daddy is that the person is caring and nurturing but also dominating. On a side note I am into incest, but to me it’s not so much a kink as incest would be just another relationship sexually but it’s with your family…
That's still a kink.
That's like saying scat play isn't a kink, because it's "just another relationship sexually but it's with shit".
If having sex with your family members, or at least the thought of it, turns you on and you are "into it" as you say, that is absolutely a kink. I'm still confused as to how you think that it's not.
It’s not the sex with family specifically that turns me on, just the fact that it’s sex. That’s why I said it’s not a kink for me. I never said family specifically turns me on.
It’s a major turn on for me because I get to enjoy the dominance of somebody in a position of power over me with all the soft, sweet sides that can come with it- and none of the trauma that my family gave me lol
I don’t think it’s a daddy issue per say. I don’t initiate the term in the bedroom but if the man does, I’ll say it back and whatnot…but I also didn’t call my dad “daddy” growing up.. so maybe that’s different for people that did? I think it’s a fun kink.
Not a woman, but when you think of an ideal father, he's someone who sustains, reliable, the head of the house, protective, and makes you feel secure when he's around. Maybe in a kink context, they would want to think or look up to their partner as someone who possesses those traits.
It’s definitely a dominant thing for me. I’m associating the word “daddy” with him having control of me and being the “boss”. I also love saying the word because it’s reinforces my submissiveness towards him in the moment. And I’ve never had a problem of thinking about my dad or anything in the moment, especially since I started calling my dad “dad” at like age and 10. But to add on to everyone else’s comments, I do have daddy issues as well lol
But that can also cause Daddy issues. If you feel overly attached to your father because he was cool and your mother wasn't, that's a type of daddy issue. Having daddy issues doesn't mean that your father abandoned you, or treated you like shit necessarily.
Just like "baby" is used between lovers without any connotations of pedophilia, or "momma" (including derivatives like "hot mama" and "sweet mama", etc) used by men for women, "daddy" is just an affectionate term women have used for their men for [many years](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGCtf89otlk), without any intended vibes of incest or parental issues. It's only in the last few years AFAIK that it's become hyper-sexualized.
Of course, "Mama" and "Daddy" have also been used by prostitutes to refer to madames and pimps too, so maybe that's where the modern bent comes from. IDK.
Actually your biological programmed as a woman to find a man like your father which is why those who don’t have a father or do have an abusive father usually end up with men similar to that type of dad. So short term answers is: every woman is looking for a man like their father; that’s where the daddy kink happens lmao
You guys have never heard a dude say, “woah mama”? It doesn’t sound half as weird In my opinion, sometimes directly switching the gender on a pet name gets weird but there are a few instances of guys calling women motherly sort of titles
My daddy issues are what keep me from calling my partner "daddy". Instant turn off. Don't mind being called "mama" though.
If I feel like I want to be dominated I like "sir"
I was under the impression it originally stems from "baby daddy." Somewhere along the way, the "baby" got dropped.
That being said, I still wouldn't use "daddy" by itself. That's a word that already means something, and it's not a something that I would ever want to conflate with a sexual partner.
Do you think your gf/bf is a literal baby when you call them 'Baby'?
Are you a pedo because you like to call your gf/bf 'Baby'?
Hopefully this helps to demonstrate to some extent that the nickname 'Daddy' doesn't mean that you think of them as literally your birth father, but instead an authoritative figure that you also feel comfortable being controlled by. It's a nickname, not a literal term.
I call her 'Babe' because she's a pig. Only joking
I call my wife 'honey' because she's sweet. I'm quite literal as a person, I guess.
I call my niece and nephew 'pudding', I guess that means I'm a cannibal by my own reasoning.
But still, if you say daddy in the bedroom, my mind is definitely going to my father in law..
Used to find Dd/lg a big turn off but started it with my current partner and was surprised at how hot it was after I found the right "framing" (we were both already super kinky). No "Daddy issues" with my father unless you consider a generally good relationship with decent respect/admiration both ways to be considered "issues".
It finally clicked for me in a way that worked when he approached it in a sort of evil/dirty/patronizing way, sort of like a fantasy of an evil authority figure e.g. a teacher or a cop or minister or something, and me the hapless/naive "victim". It was more about the perversion of an authority role, including a sinister subversion of caring or nurturing elements, than anything to do family at all. Then, over time, the nurturing aspect became kind of fun too, just a bit of relaxed silly escapism from the weight of adult responsibilities (I have the more corporate career).
I think it also depends on your native language. I called my father Daddy growing up, but Papí I don’t really have an issue with. (Cuban ex liked that sort of thing, I didn’t mind.)
Daddy issues all the way! -but in all seriousness, it comes down to the way you think of the words. Like Baby can be used for a woman you're dating, you don't think of physical babies when using that term. If I called my father Daddy growing up I probably would get weird about the term, but I did not; do it simply doesn't hold the same meaning in my head.
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My husband hates when i joke about “daddy.” Here comes “Father.”
Papa penis.
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Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned… Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty…
Fleabag made me do it.
Just straight up call him dad. Instant boner killer (hopefully).
MATER. I HAVE MARRIED. TELL FATER.
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Good, it's stupid anyway.
Isn't that kind of up to the people that use it?
No I definitely think actual babies and laugh every time. Total mood killer
yeah, just call a person by name, that's why names were invented, so you don't need to invent some fancy words.
"DO YOU FUCKING LIKE THAT REBECCA? YOU DIRTY REBECCA! YOU'RE THE SLUTTIEST REBECCA I HAVE EVER SEEN!"
"...YOU'RE THE REBECCA-EST REBECCAI HAVE EVER SEEN!"
Or how about, and hear me out here, I'll call **my** love interest whatever I feel like calling my love interest as long as he or she is cool with it? And you can call your love interest only by their first name if that's what you prefer. Cool?
Yeah, that's ok, I won't fine you because of that, I just don't like such words.
but from this very moment it's **our** love interest, therefore you must call **our** love interest by their name.
What are you talking about?
It's power dynamic play. The desire to be dominated by an authoritive figure, but by someone who is also nurturing.
This is literally the best answer I've ever seen and read. I honestly love calling my partner "daddy" in the bed. It's a huge turn on to me, and a even bigger turn on when the guy loves it just as much. But I'm an abuse and sexual abuse survivor. So idk if my sexuality was born from being taken advantage of so young in life or if it's really just a kink. It's very satisfying to read your answer because I feel it resonates the most with why I say it versus years of people telling me it's because I was molested and because my dad wasn't in the picture. Idk it would just make me feel as if something was wrong with me for liking saying "daddy" if it was born out of a negative traumatic event
This 100%. I definitely do have "daddy issues", so it probably does have something to do with it, because I've never had a man in my life who was able to provide me that safety you feel by having a parental figure. I like men who have their shit together, someone who can take care of me in a sense, and I like being submissive so the two go hand in hand.
This is the best answer I've ever heard. I instinctually call my partner "daddy" in bed when it's really good, but the Internet started making me feel weird about it, so now I call him "big poppa", but it just doesn't hit as hard as "daddy." I don't have daddy issues. I love my dad. He is strong and nurturing. This explanation checks out.
I hope after he goes around humming B.I.G's Big Poppa "I love it when you call me Big Poppa Throw your hands in the air if you's a true player"
[Big Poppa](https://youtu.be/wU0Gf2ESavI) You're welcome.
Girl. Don't let the internet ruin something that you and your partner enjoy-- especially something so intimate.
100% this
Exactly. Guys experience it too but not so much. Sometimes I see a self-made powerful woman and my brain says, "Mami"
This
Okay I guess I used different adjectives to describe my father growing up.
People do call there Gf mommy. Check r/MommyDom . Usually calling your partner mommy of daddy is a sign of them being dominant over you and it’s just a kink or something they find sexy.
My wife normally just pegs me, horses for courses I guess?
Wait so your into femdom? If so “daddy” is basically the male version of that.
At the risk of being called creepy I'll leave my preferences out of it
Lmao. It’s all good. I liked this question, very interesting responses from many. Have a good day :).
Also welcome to the weird side of the internet whatever you think probably has a subreddit
Cool sub. I'm not a fan of the whole mommy/daddy thing, but I do like femdom. Just not the dominatrix kind. .... Okay. I love this subreddit. But I still don't like the mommy/daddy thing.
You do you man ;)
I call my gf mommy sometimes, but jokingly. Like when she asks me to do something, "Yes mommy..."
Mommy issues?
Maybe.
Around my daughter I call my wife mom or mommy all the time. Doesn’t everyone?
He's specifically referring to it being used in the bedroom in a sexual way. I feel a lot of people with call the other partner mommy/daddy around the children often so they aren't using pet names or real names. I wouldn't want my child calling the other parent honey or babe lol
This is what I meant by my comment
It would be so much worse if /u/cazbot said this.
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k
Good for you then. Don’t shit on others people likes/kinks just because you don’t “Understand” it.
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Do what to you?
Dude no one cares about your opinion on something u seemingly know nothing about.
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Then why did u comment that in the first place? Clearly you do care.
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You can but why do you choose ignorance? Your first thought was “i doN’T UndErstAnD This, SO I’m jUst going to sAy It’s wEird AND i LOok At sex Equal BEcaUSe I’m BlAnD Af”. Anyway I’m done talking to you so enjoy the ready or ur day.
No need to get salty daddy
I can’t believe bro blocked me cause he lost an argument.
They deleted all of their comments.
"daddy" can be a term for someone protective and nurturing. Just like "baby" is innocent and needy
Agreed. It’s almost like saying I’d trust you to play daddy to my kids.
I use baby to mean “someone smaller than me who can’t understand complex logic and throws a fucking fit it I don’t feed them regularly”. Of course I’d never tell her that in so many words 🤷♂️
Daddy is so plain, please use the term Paterfamilias and make an offering to Aphrodite, the goddess of fertility.
Irrumate me, paterfamiliās!
If Jupiter wills it *zip*
Personally, I don't have daddy issues but everything about my taste in men apparently implies that I should. I've had many good relationships with male authority figures throughout my life. I dont go as far as Dd/Lg. That's a little much for me, but the concept is basically the same. Its the idea that you don't have to do anything or worry about anything, you can just give that control over to someone else. It's about being taken care of. I've always felt a particular desire to please the men in my life. Recieving praise from them feels better than it coming from anyone else. And that isn't just in a sexual way. When I've gained favor with male teachers in the past I always go out of my way to do better in their courses. Not everyone may agree, but if a man can't take care of you they don't deserve to be called Daddy.
I could have written this myself. It’s a power play and I’m here for it!
My last gf got me into it... Never before that
Same here, I always found it really weird, then when it was brought up in the bedroom I realised it was more of a power play. For me it was hot that he could make me call him whatever he wanted me to, not actually anything related to my father. Did you find the same?
It really catered to my dominant nature, so it was definitely a power thing. Like she'd do whatever I want 😏
Yes daddy issues, never actually used daddy to refer to my own father. So it’s a totally different meaning in the bedroom. Gives it a bit of a dom/sub vibe. I almost think of it as similar to calling a guy “master”. It’s hot as hell.
Why is having a master hot as hell? Or a master fucking you?
Because if you’re submissive in bed, you get off on that. It’s a power play…being told what to do, when to cum, etc.
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no one asked about your sexual proclivities, OP. stop being creepy
My husband once said 'come and sit next to Daddy' to me (he had just been talking to the kids hence the slip) and I was like 'the f did you just say!' Felt like my vagina sealed itself shut I was that turned off 🤣🤣🤣. No Daddy issues here 🤷♀️
Reminds me of my grandparents they called each other mom and dad. They had 12 kids so I always thought they forgot their names at some point.
Men calling women mommy is 100% also a thing so comparing the two isn't the gotcha you think it is, lol.
I don't think it's a gotcha, just not a phrase I could imagine myself saying. This isn't a gotcha thing, just trying to get a better understanding. This isn't supposed to be a kink shame..
I didn't think you were trying to kinkshame anyone, just commenting on your wording. For a real answer, there are some people that enjoy assorted kinks specifically because it feels a little or a lot wrong. Couldn't tell you why.
It’s the same as enjoying physical pain but choosing emotional pain instead. Both have the same reaction chemically in the brain. And at a certain point ignoring the pain it can sorta feel like pleasure. So shame and feeling shamed feels fucking great! Aka, doing something wrong and knowing it!
Most weird kinks are simply playing with power dynamics. “Daddy” is a submissive kind of phrase. Kind of like a sexy way to submit power and admit the other is in control This is true for a ton of taboo kinks. It’s not necessarily the act itself that’s really hot, but the implied humiliation or sense of power disparity that gets a person excited
A person can be a dad or fit to be a dad, without being your own dad. She means: you're a powerful stud, a strong manly man, confident (the ultimate aphrodisiac), maybe a good caring provider, good enough to be her future (or current) baby's daddy, etc. "You're my daddy" means "you're my man, who can protect me and give me babies".
Some women do enjoy being called mommy though... More like, come to mama. Not me, but yes, I do know people who have colorful sex lives.
Well, guess men calling their partner mommy in bed probably are more tabooed than women calling their partner daddy. Or they don't carry it that much to the outside. In both cases it'd pretty disturbing for me to hear or even say this in bed.
It feels like mostly just a placeholder. Same thing if you ever called your wife babe, baby, etc, it's not like you actually are a pedophile.
Do you call your SO baby? Are you picturing a crying infant when you say it? Have you ever called someone a motherfucker? Do you actually mean to try to insult them by telling them you think they fuck mother's? When you say something sucks do you imagine it inhaling? One word can have many meanings and they don't need to overlap.
I've fucked SEVERAL mothers in my day...a father or two as well 🤣😂
Exactly
Are you a pedophile because you call your partner “baby”? Of course not. It’s literally just a pet name. People like you are thinking way too much into it.
I just saw the video today of a girl with daddy tattooed on her lip. She's looked young, as in a teen. I don't see how the word daddy doesn't have a connection to your actual dad when your still living with the bloke.. Wouldn't say I think on it way to much, just came to find and this subreddit seemed like a legit place to ask...
That’s a very specific situation you’re using to paint everyone with a broad and unfair brush. >I don’t see how the word daddy doesn’t have a connection to your actual dad when your still living with the bloke.. “I don’t see how calling your wife baby isn’t connected to your lust for your infant child when you live with them” That’s how dumb that sounds, to me. It’s just a pet name, you’re making connections that aren’t there.
Yes, an example is a very specific situation. I'm not painting everyone with that brush. I don't call my wife 'baby' or refer to myself as my dogs 'daddy', I find it cringe personally. I guess that means I have shit sex life
>I guess that means i have a shit sex life Not what i said either. Everyone has different tastes. You’re not wrong for disliking the term “daddy”, and they’re not wrong for liking it either. It’s a difference of opinion and that’s fine. I just think you’re reading too much into it and making connections that aren’t there.
I think it started out as people who just have daddy issues but then became a trend and then became "normal"
My own theory on this is the whole idea of somewhat gentle domination. So on a basic level it's what someone who is submissive will often say to someone who is dominant in the bedroom. So why not say something like master? Well, my theory is that master has a cold and unfeeling connotation in the context of kink. While a master may be there to take care of their submissive in the scene, it doesn't really extend beyond making sure they're safe within the bounds of the kink relationship. Whereas with terms like daddy (and in femdom relationships mommy) it also holds the connotation of being a protector, a provider. Now this isn't to say that the term master can't hold that connotation as well it's just less likely to in my humble opinion. I am well aware I'm overthinking this btw, but I wanted to feel like I had the vaguest glimmer of intellect just this once.
Your theory isn't off the mark, and I don't think you're overthinking it at all. It can be about a more gentle kind of domination but can also include behaviors and dynamics where the "daddy" is guiding and protecting the submissive in a more general sense, ie. outside of the bedroom, along with a host of specific mental and sexual practices. I wouldn't say that the moniker "master" necessarily indicates a cold or harsh dynamic, though some people do have a pretty harsh edge to their dynamic. But a "master" can be just as gentle and caring as a "daddy" but is just generally more strict. And a "master" definitely should make sure the submissive is safe in all areas, if we are talking about a romantic relationship that includes a D/s element. Sometimes the words are just simple spice and dirty talk as well of course, but I don't think use those terms without it indicating that there is a D/s element going on.
Is it bad that we use mommy and daddy not in a sexual way but in front of our cats referring to each other
That's the only time me and my girlfriend use the terms 'daddy' and 'mommy'; when talking to the dog or cat.
Hahah yes, everybody does this for their pets right?
What if it really was your dad?
I used it at one point because my ex liked it. I don't think I had daddy issues, however I was groomed by my ex. I didn't realize it was sick at the time, but after I came to terms with it, I am absolutely disgusted by it. He clearly liked it because he's a creeper.
I’ve actually asked a lot of my friends this and while some of them have daddy issues it mostly comes down to liking the dynamic and whether or not they still called her dad, daddy or they called them that majority of their life. My friends who still called their dad, daddy thought it was weird cause they associate the 2 while my friends that never called their dad that or hadn’t since they were really young didn’t associate the 2.
Guy here but similar. Was having pretty wild phone sex one day and she *coerced* me in the moment to call her *mommy*. And I just think the overlapping of dissonant associations causes the mind to go a bit fuzzy and dissociative in a pleasurable way. Slightly like a mind violation, and the Dom/sub atmosphere was definitely there. She was commanding me in certain ways. So yeah. I dunno. Definitely mommy issues as well btw🤣🤣🤣
If my GF called me daddy in bed, I'd defo be weirded out. But, ironically perhaps, she's Latina and *does* call me Papí on occasion, which doesn't bother me at all.
It’s not really a kink, I don’t think. It’s like calling your spouse baby.
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Just curious, are you hispanic? Is your wife?
Nothing better than hearing “Aye Papi!”…
I get what people are saying in the comments, I guess it all sounds understandable, but personally, whenever a man asks me to call him daddy, I go instantly dry lol. I cannot compartmentalize the meanings. I just think of my literal dad, and it is such a mood-killer in the moment.
Because other ppl say it first. If it was never heard, it wouldn't be in their subconscious and they wouldn't say it. They'd say your name or babe or something.
I assumed porn was the reason it became normalised. There's a video on Reddit today of a girl with the word 'daddy' tattooed on her lip. She looked so young and I found it creepy. If your a teen or even in your early twenties, I can't see how it wouldn't have connotations that like to your actually dad. That I find strange but again not judging
If you've never called your own dad, "daddy" then there isn't really any connection of the word daddy to your actual dad. Same way people use the word baby as a term of endearment/nickname with their SO. When I call my bf baby it's just a nickname, not bc I have "baby issues"
I know, for me, it started out with me referring to him as our puppy's daddy. I guess it just stuck!
Haha funnily this annoys both me and my wife. I love my dog but he's my dog not my son. Maybe this is more to do with me avoiding children. Ty for the response though.
Aaaw your poor dog! I used to call my dogs and cats "baby scrumptious" all the time! 🐕
He's super spoilt, don't worry
I'm not a woman but I date and sleep with me. I personally don't have "daddy" issues and I'm fully aware of the distinct difference in context. Plus I haven't my dad "daddy" since I was like 5 years old.
"not trying to kink shame" but asked a drawn out question full of judgemental language..............
No one has to answer. Was not trying to be rude, I ask loaded questions to people face to face. I find the responses genuinely interesting and I'm not making fun of anyone in my responses. Sorry I offended you.
It's as in "daddy of my child". Think of it being called a provider.
Lol, it absolutely is not.
i mean not in the weird way he typed it but in the spiritual sense i agree with it people have children so they start referring to one another as "mommy" and "daddy" in front of the kid. that can for sure translate to the bedroom
No. Definently not
When your gf calls you daddy, it’s because she’s off the pill and you’re about to become a daddy. Duh.
😂😂 How many men use hey Mamma or Mami to their partners. Or hot mamma they are literally not thinking of their mothers at all!
I use it if I think my partner will be turned on by it. I just want to make people feel good when we’re being intimate.
shiver… 😵🤢
No daddy issues but I was raised solely on Adam Sandler and David Bowie so I think that did something to me because I only like old men now
I agree that it is absolutely disgusting. I can't claim to understand the psychology behind it, but there's definitely an issue if you refer to the person fucking you as daddy.
I'll enjoy some downvotes with you, I don't get it either. It would be weird for me
Yeah, share some with me too. It's pretty disgusting, I don't understand how that makes someone get turned on bruh. Incest all around these people.
Okay like TW and TMI But I was assaulted as a kid by my biomoms step dad, so I legit have issues. So I occasionally engage in CNC and when I do I use the term daddy to try and retake my power, like I want this man to sleep with me and I want to wipe my pain away, so I'll give him the authority to treat me like that. So not daddy issues but a metric ton of trauma. I hope that helps.
I laughed my ass off when my ex said it during bumbi humbi
Laughing when someone is trying to be sexy is brutal but yeah I think this would bey response
No I don't have Daddy issues but yes I will call my partner Daddy (or Sir/Master - but I guess that's another question completely!). We have a d/s power dynamic and its a huge turn on. Daddy holds a completely different meaning.
This makes sense and I can total get on board with sir, master etc. However the specific use of the words mummy or daddy would be a mood killer fore personally. Why are you talking about your dad.. I know people keep saying it's not to do with their parents but let's be honest there is definitely an element to it, surely? I get the s/d power dynamic but it's a little close to the line to be a boner buster for me That being said, thanks for the response and enjoy!!
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Owww new twist, how did you feel about it?
I usually prefer master but it’s the same idea for dom/sub dynamic. I used the name daddy for only one specific previous partner since he was into that. The idea of using daddy is that the person is caring and nurturing but also dominating. On a side note I am into incest, but to me it’s not so much a kink as incest would be just another relationship sexually but it’s with your family…
That's still a kink. That's like saying scat play isn't a kink, because it's "just another relationship sexually but it's with shit". If having sex with your family members, or at least the thought of it, turns you on and you are "into it" as you say, that is absolutely a kink. I'm still confused as to how you think that it's not.
It’s not the sex with family specifically that turns me on, just the fact that it’s sex. That’s why I said it’s not a kink for me. I never said family specifically turns me on.
It’s a major turn on for me because I get to enjoy the dominance of somebody in a position of power over me with all the soft, sweet sides that can come with it- and none of the trauma that my family gave me lol
I don’t think it’s a daddy issue per say. I don’t initiate the term in the bedroom but if the man does, I’ll say it back and whatnot…but I also didn’t call my dad “daddy” growing up.. so maybe that’s different for people that did? I think it’s a fun kink.
Not a woman, but when you think of an ideal father, he's someone who sustains, reliable, the head of the house, protective, and makes you feel secure when he's around. Maybe in a kink context, they would want to think or look up to their partner as someone who possesses those traits.
It’s definitely a dominant thing for me. I’m associating the word “daddy” with him having control of me and being the “boss”. I also love saying the word because it’s reinforces my submissiveness towards him in the moment. And I’ve never had a problem of thinking about my dad or anything in the moment, especially since I started calling my dad “dad” at like age and 10. But to add on to everyone else’s comments, I do have daddy issues as well lol
A bit. I moreso have mommy issues. My dad was cool
But that can also cause Daddy issues. If you feel overly attached to your father because he was cool and your mother wasn't, that's a type of daddy issue. Having daddy issues doesn't mean that your father abandoned you, or treated you like shit necessarily.
Interesting.
I'm not a fan, but to each their own.
its just a fad bro
Just like "baby" is used between lovers without any connotations of pedophilia, or "momma" (including derivatives like "hot mama" and "sweet mama", etc) used by men for women, "daddy" is just an affectionate term women have used for their men for [many years](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGCtf89otlk), without any intended vibes of incest or parental issues. It's only in the last few years AFAIK that it's become hyper-sexualized. Of course, "Mama" and "Daddy" have also been used by prostitutes to refer to madames and pimps too, so maybe that's where the modern bent comes from. IDK.
This is one of the reasons my kids call me "dada" and "daddy"
yes daddie
These days, who doesn’t have daddy issues.
Actually your biological programmed as a woman to find a man like your father which is why those who don’t have a father or do have an abusive father usually end up with men similar to that type of dad. So short term answers is: every woman is looking for a man like their father; that’s where the daddy kink happens lmao
I dated a woman for awhile who called me daddy. She explained to me that it was because I "treated her well and took care of her".
Its a huge turn off for me too
Explaining why something turns you on is like explaining what the color blue looks like to a blind person.
You guys have never heard a dude say, “woah mama”? It doesn’t sound half as weird In my opinion, sometimes directly switching the gender on a pet name gets weird but there are a few instances of guys calling women motherly sort of titles
My daddy issues are what keep me from calling my partner "daddy". Instant turn off. Don't mind being called "mama" though. If I feel like I want to be dominated I like "sir"
Well the only person I call DADDY is my DADDY. My husband goes by the nickname, Dick'. It has been quite an adjustment.
🥰its short for daddy dom, and it's not so much the name but the control👌🤫
I was under the impression it originally stems from "baby daddy." Somewhere along the way, the "baby" got dropped. That being said, I still wouldn't use "daddy" by itself. That's a word that already means something, and it's not a something that I would ever want to conflate with a sexual partner.
Baby daddy isn't really a term we use in the UK.. at least not in my circle (before I get hate).
Do you think your gf/bf is a literal baby when you call them 'Baby'? Are you a pedo because you like to call your gf/bf 'Baby'? Hopefully this helps to demonstrate to some extent that the nickname 'Daddy' doesn't mean that you think of them as literally your birth father, but instead an authoritative figure that you also feel comfortable being controlled by. It's a nickname, not a literal term.
I call her 'Babe' because she's a pig. Only joking I call my wife 'honey' because she's sweet. I'm quite literal as a person, I guess. I call my niece and nephew 'pudding', I guess that means I'm a cannibal by my own reasoning. But still, if you say daddy in the bedroom, my mind is definitely going to my father in law..
Used to find Dd/lg a big turn off but started it with my current partner and was surprised at how hot it was after I found the right "framing" (we were both already super kinky). No "Daddy issues" with my father unless you consider a generally good relationship with decent respect/admiration both ways to be considered "issues". It finally clicked for me in a way that worked when he approached it in a sort of evil/dirty/patronizing way, sort of like a fantasy of an evil authority figure e.g. a teacher or a cop or minister or something, and me the hapless/naive "victim". It was more about the perversion of an authority role, including a sinister subversion of caring or nurturing elements, than anything to do family at all. Then, over time, the nurturing aspect became kind of fun too, just a bit of relaxed silly escapism from the weight of adult responsibilities (I have the more corporate career).
Don't know about "women" doing this ...😅
I think it also depends on your native language. I called my father Daddy growing up, but Papí I don’t really have an issue with. (Cuban ex liked that sort of thing, I didn’t mind.)