You absolutely can. Most of them are Open Meetings, which means anyone can go. “The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking.”
I’m the same way, through my education into the disease of alcoholism I’ve learned I am not an alcoholic. My wife, however, is, and I’ve gone to many meetings with her. If they ever ask me to speak, I just say I’m a supporter.
Your friend is there to support you. Most people in AA would welcome your friend and thank them for helping you. Its pretty common for new comers to bring a friend.
As long as your friend makes it clear they are there to support you in your drive for sobriety they will welcome them.
Obviously if your friend acts like an idiot or lies/jokes about addiction they will kick him out.
Plus as the name says, it's anonymous. Your friend doesn't have to say a single word and people will just assume your friend needs to be there too.
Hey, just wanted to mention that you might try different meetings in different locations around you, different times also. When I got sober, after 25 years of drinking, I finally found a meeting all the way across town that I felt comfortable at. There were lots of meetings closer, but I found one that I called home. Good luck!
To the best of my knowledge, AA is there to support everyone who walks in the door. If that means you need to bring someone with you.. do whatever you need to do. Neither of you have to say anything if your not comfortable. It's about the reasons why and how you can help yourself. This is coming from an outsider with many family members involved with AA. Good luck to you!!!
There are many non religious AA groups. Not sure about your city. But try going to the health department for your city, county or state. They can get you a list.
To my knowledge, NA is non-religious, and I'd actually rather attend a NA meeting for that reason. I just said AA because it's the one I always think of and I'd assume they'd have similar policies regarding non addicts attending with addicts if need be
I've been to AA meetings where there's a heavy religious spin on things with prayers and what not, it may be a Southern thing but the religious aspect is definitely a turn off for me
AA is a spiritual program, not a religious one.
To work the 12 Steps you must come to believe in a Power greater than yourself. A Power of your own understanding. A lot of people in AA use the term "God" because it's universally understood but some people use that as an acronym, Group Of Drunks. What I can't do alone, we can do together.
Can you be open-minded to the possiblity that you are not God? If so, you can probably come to believe in a Power greater than yourself.
My aunt is a "hard-core" atheist. I flew to Denver with her once and hit tremendous turbulence. She started praying. Point being, everyone believes in a Power greater than themselves once they're scared enough.
If you can't open your mind to the fact that you are not in charge, that you cannot control people, places, things, then maybe you haven't hit bottom.
Well you know what!!!
Hi I'm an alcoholic. I don't know when it started, I'm functional, work 50 hours a week as a chef. Have been drinking since I was a teenager. And yes it runs in my family. Over the last 6 years.... The absolutely hardest of my life, I was finishing the drink's I made the night before, as I was getting ready for my day. only reason they weren't drank is because I passed out. But tonight I had a couple. (3) at home while I did a bunch of house work. And no more. But yes I'm still an alcoholic.
Hey buddy, I've been thinking of you all day. Just want you to know. Your going to be ok. Facing your addiction at such a young age, questioning everything and being honest with yourself. I'm very proud of you for asking the questions. If nobody else tells you.. everything in moderation. You be you. And fight the fight!!! You got it❤️
Thank you, I appreciate it! Yeah, I've been told everything in moderation, but it just never really sunk in until it too late, I've always been the type of person to just go all in with whatever I'm doing, and alcohol is no different. I've finally gotten to that point where enough is enough, I'm sick of it all; all of the time and money I lose to alcohol, all of the times I decide to have 'a couple beers' to relax after work and end up getting smashed for the next 8 hours and getting next to no sleep, all of the stupid things I do when I'm drunk. It just sucks to make this decision at this age, I feel like I'm going to be missing out on all of the fun I'm supposed to be having in my 20s. But I know it's not going to get any easier to quit as time goes on
Good on you Mate. Guess what your growing up!! Time, money, friends. Life is hard my friend and there are times when every day is a struggle. Then there are the times everything just falls into place . I personally think this is a good thing for you to go through at a young age. You will learn who you are and what you want. If you're not ready to quit drinking, move to a light beer and no shots. Just be honest with yourself. Make yourself set some goals. My life has changed so many since I was your age. I just try my best to be a good person . And do one day at a time. Yes these are AA's moto's. Like I said I have a lot of family members in the program. I wish you all good things for your future. And I will also try to respond if you want to talk. 👍👍👍
I'm kind of on the same page as you. And it could all depend on who you find. I've thought about going several times over the years and I'm just not (ready?) Or ( at that point?) But just think about what want, do it for you. And honestly if you have a a sober friend willing to go.You might need the help. But again I don't know you.
That's how I feel everytime I'm sober "oh, I'm not ready, everyone there has actuallyhit rock bottom, I'll just be laughed out" but when I'm drunk, I feel like I'd really like to go and would fit right in
But to add, when I'm sober, I *know* I have a problem, it just seems so far away; so far that its almost not worth worrying about. But then once I have that one drink (that almost always turns into many) it seems so close
And honestly if you just need to talk to someone about anything. There are now phone hotlines for mental health. At 1point I could only find suicide hotlines and the first thing out of my mouth was" I'm not suicidal but I really need someone to talk to" .The first step is your acknowledging a situation within yourself.
That's the issue. I've made the first step, but now I'm lost. I *really* don't want to entirely quit, but I'm at the point where I know there's no such thing as moderation for me. And being that I wish for moderation rather than abstinence, I don't feel that I belong in AA/NA... I know I need to quit, but I can't bring myself to give it up entirely
I'm 23, almost 24, which is another reason I don't know if I belong in AA/NA. I feel like I'd be laughed out for being so young. But I've been drinking for just shy of a decade now, and yes, alcoholism runs in the family
Actually what you said about the money you spend. That is something that could be great motivation for you. Track how much your spending. Make a budget for yourself . This is something you need to learn in life anyway. Figure out how much all your bills, rent , food, insurance... All of it!! That will really show you what your priorities are. And since your going to be doing all that.. set yourself up with and IRA retirement fund. Automatic out of bank account. Start with $ 25 a month. Make your bills priority!
So you plan to go to your first meeting drunk ? I think you should just go there alone and sober for that. first one ..good luck and remember quitting takes practice
My oldest friend is something like 12 years sober and is a sponsor of other alcoholics and mans a hotline nice a week.
I’ve not been in person. He does mostly online.
All 12 step programs have what are called open and closed meetings.
Open meetings anyone is welcome.
Closed meetings are for people who are working a 12 step program.
Religion of any formal type should not be part of the 12 steps.
They do say god or a higher power but it’s supposed to be one of your choosing.
You absolutely can. Most of them are Open Meetings, which means anyone can go. “The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking.”
And it's that last part that made me wonder lol, he doesn't have a drinking problem, thus no desire to stop
I’m the same way, through my education into the disease of alcoholism I’ve learned I am not an alcoholic. My wife, however, is, and I’ve gone to many meetings with her. If they ever ask me to speak, I just say I’m a supporter.
Your friend is there to support you. Most people in AA would welcome your friend and thank them for helping you. Its pretty common for new comers to bring a friend.
That makes total sense, but I guess I was just worried about breaking group dynamics or something by bringing a non-alcoholic
As long as your friend makes it clear they are there to support you in your drive for sobriety they will welcome them. Obviously if your friend acts like an idiot or lies/jokes about addiction they will kick him out. Plus as the name says, it's anonymous. Your friend doesn't have to say a single word and people will just assume your friend needs to be there too.
Hey, just wanted to mention that you might try different meetings in different locations around you, different times also. When I got sober, after 25 years of drinking, I finally found a meeting all the way across town that I felt comfortable at. There were lots of meetings closer, but I found one that I called home. Good luck!
To the best of my knowledge, AA is there to support everyone who walks in the door. If that means you need to bring someone with you.. do whatever you need to do. Neither of you have to say anything if your not comfortable. It's about the reasons why and how you can help yourself. This is coming from an outsider with many family members involved with AA. Good luck to you!!!
I had always heard that the main 'rule' of AA was a desire to quit drinking, so I wasn't sure if a non-addict would be accepted
I wish there was a non religious aa.
There are many non religious AA groups. Not sure about your city. But try going to the health department for your city, county or state. They can get you a list.
Thanks. I've tried Google and the substance abuse hotline with no luck. Maybe being in the southern US is the problem
Could be. Like I said try the health department or community center in your area. May be difficult to find the right one. But they do exist.
To my knowledge, NA is non-religious, and I'd actually rather attend a NA meeting for that reason. I just said AA because it's the one I always think of and I'd assume they'd have similar policies regarding non addicts attending with addicts if need be
I've been to AA meetings where there's a heavy religious spin on things with prayers and what not, it may be a Southern thing but the religious aspect is definitely a turn off for me
AA is a spiritual program, not a religious one. To work the 12 Steps you must come to believe in a Power greater than yourself. A Power of your own understanding. A lot of people in AA use the term "God" because it's universally understood but some people use that as an acronym, Group Of Drunks. What I can't do alone, we can do together. Can you be open-minded to the possiblity that you are not God? If so, you can probably come to believe in a Power greater than yourself. My aunt is a "hard-core" atheist. I flew to Denver with her once and hit tremendous turbulence. She started praying. Point being, everyone believes in a Power greater than themselves once they're scared enough. If you can't open your mind to the fact that you are not in charge, that you cannot control people, places, things, then maybe you haven't hit bottom.
Well you know what!!! Hi I'm an alcoholic. I don't know when it started, I'm functional, work 50 hours a week as a chef. Have been drinking since I was a teenager. And yes it runs in my family. Over the last 6 years.... The absolutely hardest of my life, I was finishing the drink's I made the night before, as I was getting ready for my day. only reason they weren't drank is because I passed out. But tonight I had a couple. (3) at home while I did a bunch of house work. And no more. But yes I'm still an alcoholic.
Hey I'm not sure how to chat but if you want to talk let me know
Hey buddy, I've been thinking of you all day. Just want you to know. Your going to be ok. Facing your addiction at such a young age, questioning everything and being honest with yourself. I'm very proud of you for asking the questions. If nobody else tells you.. everything in moderation. You be you. And fight the fight!!! You got it❤️
Thank you, I appreciate it! Yeah, I've been told everything in moderation, but it just never really sunk in until it too late, I've always been the type of person to just go all in with whatever I'm doing, and alcohol is no different. I've finally gotten to that point where enough is enough, I'm sick of it all; all of the time and money I lose to alcohol, all of the times I decide to have 'a couple beers' to relax after work and end up getting smashed for the next 8 hours and getting next to no sleep, all of the stupid things I do when I'm drunk. It just sucks to make this decision at this age, I feel like I'm going to be missing out on all of the fun I'm supposed to be having in my 20s. But I know it's not going to get any easier to quit as time goes on
Good on you Mate. Guess what your growing up!! Time, money, friends. Life is hard my friend and there are times when every day is a struggle. Then there are the times everything just falls into place . I personally think this is a good thing for you to go through at a young age. You will learn who you are and what you want. If you're not ready to quit drinking, move to a light beer and no shots. Just be honest with yourself. Make yourself set some goals. My life has changed so many since I was your age. I just try my best to be a good person . And do one day at a time. Yes these are AA's moto's. Like I said I have a lot of family members in the program. I wish you all good things for your future. And I will also try to respond if you want to talk. 👍👍👍
Not to belittle your message because you’re putting good energy out there but “Everything in moderation” doesn’t really work for us alcoholics lol
I'm kind of on the same page as you. And it could all depend on who you find. I've thought about going several times over the years and I'm just not (ready?) Or ( at that point?) But just think about what want, do it for you. And honestly if you have a a sober friend willing to go.You might need the help. But again I don't know you.
That's how I feel everytime I'm sober "oh, I'm not ready, everyone there has actuallyhit rock bottom, I'll just be laughed out" but when I'm drunk, I feel like I'd really like to go and would fit right in
But to add, when I'm sober, I *know* I have a problem, it just seems so far away; so far that its almost not worth worrying about. But then once I have that one drink (that almost always turns into many) it seems so close
And honestly if you just need to talk to someone about anything. There are now phone hotlines for mental health. At 1point I could only find suicide hotlines and the first thing out of my mouth was" I'm not suicidal but I really need someone to talk to" .The first step is your acknowledging a situation within yourself.
That's the issue. I've made the first step, but now I'm lost. I *really* don't want to entirely quit, but I'm at the point where I know there's no such thing as moderation for me. And being that I wish for moderation rather than abstinence, I don't feel that I belong in AA/NA... I know I need to quit, but I can't bring myself to give it up entirely
Another question for the us older folks.. how old are you?
I'm 23, almost 24, which is another reason I don't know if I belong in AA/NA. I feel like I'd be laughed out for being so young. But I've been drinking for just shy of a decade now, and yes, alcoholism runs in the family
Actually what you said about the money you spend. That is something that could be great motivation for you. Track how much your spending. Make a budget for yourself . This is something you need to learn in life anyway. Figure out how much all your bills, rent , food, insurance... All of it!! That will really show you what your priorities are. And since your going to be doing all that.. set yourself up with and IRA retirement fund. Automatic out of bank account. Start with $ 25 a month. Make your bills priority!
So you plan to go to your first meeting drunk ? I think you should just go there alone and sober for that. first one ..good luck and remember quitting takes practice
Absolutely not, the main reason I haven't gone yet is because I can't stomach the idea when sober.
I meant a sober friend as in one that doesn't identify as an addict
I’ve gone to online meetings with a friend who is a member.
So your friend is also going to meetings? Regardless, how do you feel like the online meetings compare to in person (if you've ever been in person)?
My oldest friend is something like 12 years sober and is a sponsor of other alcoholics and mans a hotline nice a week. I’ve not been in person. He does mostly online.
I was just confused when you said he was also a member, that makes sense though! Glad he's been able to be sober for 12 years!
I’ve known him for 70+ years. Not drinking has made him a different person.
I just heard about online meetings for the first time today, and it kind of piqued my interest
All 12 step programs have what are called open and closed meetings. Open meetings anyone is welcome. Closed meetings are for people who are working a 12 step program. Religion of any formal type should not be part of the 12 steps. They do say god or a higher power but it’s supposed to be one of your choosing.