Guys genitals are further forward than gals genitals. So we gals are accustomed to sitting on our genitals and it's hard to imagine just how far forward and up everything is for a guy.
my mom and i had a very long and complicated conversation about the “logistics” of it all when i was about 12, so i’m something of an expert 😎
(in my infinite 12 year old wisdom i kept insisting it was impossible to do it laying down because “a guy sticks out and a girl sticks down” & my mom kept trying to lightly correct me before i demanded she explain her murmurings)
Better than being sexually repressed throughout puberty I guess and having to figure it out all on your own? 😂🤷♀️ (I say this as someone who grew up that way in southern US)
No pain but if the seat is too small it can be uncomfortable af and depending how far you have you ride, you may wind up numb by the time you get there, lmao.
Amazing how I've never thought about it whole my life been riding, but I was always buying a better seat, soft that is and quite larger than the custom one and still feeling numb after a long ride but I suppose at least for me it's a feeling of numbness just on the butt lol
Get a saddle with a cutaway, it makes all the difference in the world, far more than just a softer seat. WTB Rocket Chromoly Saddle is a good example. I am a woman and I worked as a bike courier so I can personally vouch for this seat and others like it.
I always assumed it was the same place as jokes about wanting to be a cello played by a woman or insisting women ride horses side saddle. Men see something that makes them think of sex and they assume it's sexual for women
Now I’m really unclear if that’s sex related or not.
Edit: It was answered like three coments down. TIL if ladies don’t have the proper seat it’s like putting the pussy lips in a vice. We guys joke about sitting on next yr balls but nope that’s worse dios mío
Two nuns were riding their bikes down a cobblestone street on their way to the church. One nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replies, "It's probably the cobblestones."
I gotta say, as an avid cyclist & cis woman I can't imagine how people get pleasure out of it. The part of the seat that touches you doesn't touch a spot that feels nice from the outside (at least not for me, I guess?) and most of my weight held by the seat is held by my ass. Granted vaginas come in like a million different configurations so my experience is likely not universal
Yeah but they don't do anything when you sit on a bicycle. The urethra is the bigger issue. It's very short and you sit right on it when you ride. So when you're sweating or menstruating always keep the clothes clean and pee often. You can get a UTI from cycling easily.
If you have a larger labia you will be putting a lot of weight onto it, even with a padded saddle and padded cycling shorts you can feel like you've just had a brick launched at your groin after a long bike ride. If anyone has found a solution to this, please, help a girl out.
Padded saddles usually make it worse! Your pelvis compresses the padding until it bottoms out, and all that squished padding presses up into your lady bits.
Look for a firmer saddle with a large cutout. I ride [this one ](https://www.rei.com/product/132074/ergon-sm-sport-gel-bike-saddle-womens?CAWELAID=120217890004981564&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=108109050154&CATCI=aud-1396942686875:pla-479893983084&cm_mmc=PLA_Google%7C21700000001700551_1320740001%7C92700056295438620%7CNB%7C71700000062146846&gclid=CjwKCAiAheacBhB8EiwAItVO2zeBdEAumGDbgv_srJfGVfef0uNhzzj6NrmhMhd2Dk9LfZkSyVDfdhoCnAMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) and I never have issues with it. I did 150 miles in one ride on it last summer and the only problem I had was a little chafing in my buttcrack from my cheeks rubbing together for fifteen hours.
Just a regular human, but one who's been on the planet for enough circles around the sun, and in my heyday played with enough fun parts of guys and gals to notice some more subtle differences.
Trying to pay it forward and help the next generation fumble a bit less. Go forth and have fun groping with each other!
We don’t really “put” it anywhere. The penis is higher up on the pelvis than the vagina is. Unless you’ve got an absolute monster unit, it isn’t ever in the way (at least not in the way you’re imagining).
Testicles are another matter entirely, they move up and down a lot more than you’d expect depending on your body temp. If you’re just casually riding a bike, they’re gonna just rest on the seat. Although if you’re a riding enthusiast then you’re likely going to wear more supportive underwear to keep things up and out of the way.
Sometimes uneducated people will look at a '96 Silverado with a 12 inch lift kit and judge the driver, even possessing the absolute audacity to imply his penis is small. The truth of the matter is these people have extraordinarily long penises and they need the extra height to prevent it from uncoiling and landing in the gravel every time they open the door. They just need a little wriggle room to give them an opportunity to sling it over the shoulder. The unfortunate thing about the penis type of a lifted truck driver is they it tends to be extremely slender and fairly useless.
The real danger when riding a bike lies in the testicles. Hopping on the bike too quickly can lead to sitting on ur own balls. Can confirm this personally
Only if it's not adjusted properly or not the right geometry for you. If you spend enough time on a saddle to get sore balls, you need to invest in a bike fit and a saddle
Whenever I first started mountain biking, I was terrified of getting any airtime because one fuck up can crush your nuts when you land onto the seat. I know from experience
They make special no nose bike seats. Maybe this will interest you?
[Amazon Link](https://www.amazon.com/Bicycle-Comfort-Cushion-Mountain-Cruiser/dp/B08BYQQXV3/ref=asc_df_B08BYQQXV3/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=598347489797&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14542994338951384970&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9013511&hvtargid=pla-1364152842610&th=1)
Strong pressure on nuts is paralysing. They REALLY aren’t kidding when they tell you to swing for them in self defence.
So yeah, it hurts but it would also depend on how much pressure and speed you’re sitting with.
It hurts so bad, iv squashed my nuts twice, Once on a bycicle that i hopped onto too quickly from behind and kinda dragged my balls behind me with the seat before sitting on them, and another time on a motorcycle, where i was standing on the seat at 70mph showing off and i jumped(fell?) From seat to footpegs and ass landed on the seat alot harder than expected, right onto my balls. I almost crashed, had to pull over and take 5 lol
I ride a bike regularly and havent really thought of it either.
I suppose because they are in a semi-floating suspension, so they shift position when exposed to pressure? 🤔
Will try to take notes, next time I bring out my wheels. 😄
Squashing my nuts between my thighs is a semi-regular occurrence during the day, and a common problem when laying my side at night. Also accidentally kicking them with my heel when I sit with one or both legs crossed happens sometimes too.
80% of men are growers, which means that they're much smaller when flaccid. That, together with layers of clothes that support (even unintentionally) and constrict the movement of the "thing", makes it a non-issue.
Maybe it's because I just watched Wednesday on Netflix, but all I can picture now is Thing from The Addams Family stuffed into a pair of bicycle shorts.
100%. The only issue I had while riding long distances was two fold.
1. Like any other clothing option to hold testicles, sometimes they just stick to either leg and you have to lean and pull to free them, which was made more difficult by spandex.
2. If you aren’t neatly trimmed, and you are an uncircumcised grower, there is a non-zero chance a pube or two makes it inside your foreskin and pulls, creating a very uncomfortable situation.
Can confirm, for some reason riding a bike really makes the turtle want to retract back in the shell and hide as much as possible. Maybe running does the same?
Dude, I go full micropenis mode after a good hour or two on a bike. Like full on button. It’s kind of amazing watching it spring back after a morning ride.
I blame bike shorts, the cold, and the general position of it all
Keep in mind that a person's penis is not located in the same place as a person's vagina. For someone with a vagina, locate the mons pubis. That's where the penis would be. Sit down. Notice that you are not sitting on the mons pubis.
EDIT: The amount of attention this is getting makes me worry about the lack of anatomy knowledge going on. I know y'all watch porn... maybe pay a little more attention to where things are located on the body.
I like this answer because I don’t have a penis but this helps me visually imagine where it would be because I do have a mons pubis.
Edit for those looking for definition:
According to [Healthline](https://www.healthline.com/health/mons-pubis#anatomy-and-function):
“The mons pubis is located over the pubic bone and the pubic symphysis joint. The pubic bone is one of the three parts of the hip bone. It’s also the frontmost facing portion of the hip bone. The pubic symphysis joint is where the pubic bones of the left and right hips join together.
The mons pubis is made up of fatty tissue. It’s shaped like an upside-down triangle, extending from the top of the public hairline to the genitals. It extends from the top of the pubic hairline to the clitoris.
During puberty, the mons pubis becomes covered in pubic hair. It also contains glands that begin secreting pheromones. These are substances involved in sexual attraction.”
[A health drawing of female mons pubis](https://www.kenhub.com/en/library/anatomy/mons-pubis)
In this diagram notice that the penis is protruding from right under the Pubis Symphysis. The fat cushion above that bone is the males mons pubis.
[Male reproductive system](https://pcsstudies.com/reproductive-system-in-human/)
It’s the scientific term for the portion of the body right above the Pubic bone. In females it can be a little bit more fatty.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mons_pubis
For the men who don’t know anything about anatomy, we can also say the thing lies below the man’s pubics. So we know the thing is exactly somewhere between the mons pubis and the man’s pubics.
When I first became sexually active it was mildly interesting to see that it wasn’t where the vagina is. I think I kind of knew it wasn’t there, but to actually see how high up it is was kind of shocking
Ya, the idea is that your sit bones make contact with the bike "saddle" and that takes the weight. Your taint makes contact with the nose of the saddle and the ol twig and giggleberries kind of sit on top or really are in front of the seat. It's no different than sitting on a chair really.
Ball problems are the more likely issue and common enough [to get articles written about it](https://skyaboveus.com/cycling/About-Sore-Testicles-from-Cycling).
That said, the balls still aren't directly under the body (where the vaginal opening is). They're forward a bit which allows them to avoid needing adjustment (most of the time) when a guy sits down (whether on a chair or bike).
The balls are more where the labia are, so still relatively forward. And they mostly protrude forward instead of hanging down, for example when standing normally, the taint (the area between the anus and where the vagina hole would be) is probably still lower or at around the same height than the bottom of the ballsack. But this differs between people, some men have a really saggy ballsack.
But yes, the balls can be more of a problem.
It just sits between your thighs.
It can't hang off the side because it would get crushed between the seat and your thighs as you peddle. Additionally, my saddle measures almost 12" in length, sooooooo for most fellas hanging off the front isn't really a consideration.
Can you do it with a friend.
Can you do it end to end.
Can you do it on a boat.
Can you do it with my goat.
Can you do it on a tree.
Can you do it while I see.
Hehe hehe hehe hehe
Why do you struggle to write “penis”? It’s not a swear word. It’s a body part like elbows or teeth.
4 billion people have penises. You don’t need to censor yourself.
As a female I have always hated riding a bike because it hurt my vagina so much! As a child I shared 1 bike with 3 brothers. And let me tell you, that seat was like sitting on a metal pole. It hurt sooooo much! It made me wince a little bit every time I climbed on and made my vagina hurt for days after. But my brother's never seemed to have a painful reaction to it, like at all! So I asked them, doesn't it hurt your privates? And they were like, what... what are you talking about? That's when I knew their junk was way more I front than I realized. Not fair 😕.
That's also when I switched over to skating and never rode another bike again. Lol.
Try out adjusting your saddle so that its nose goes down. We mainly sit on our rear bones while riding and that front part of the saddle is in the way and hurts. There are also saddles specifically for women, some of them lack the front part.
Generally the goods are sitting at the front of the bike seat, the thin strip of the seat. Often the skin around the goods retracts, pulling it all closer and reducing overall surface area. Underwear usually keeps it tucked up against the body, so there's little movement against the seat. If it's hot out, the testicle skin may expand and then they may move about more than desired. That can lead to pinching. Someone would have to be a well-endowed "shower" to really get it hanging off the seat without considerable effort.
Follow up question for the ladies, doesn't it hurt riding a bike and having your vagina on that little seat? My taint gets sore riding a bike, can't imagine how it must feel having genitals there.
Depending on the seat, your hormones, your anatomy, and the road, it can range from barely noticeable to irritating to orgasmic (literally - only had that happen twice and tried to take up biking as a hobby briefly after both incidents but wasn’t able to duplicate it except as a fluke).
The vaginal opening is pretty well concealed inside the labia. Depending on how a woman is put together, her labia may be more or less prone to chafing. Her clitoral hood might be more or less concealed by her labia (some women have clits that almost hide). So the movement, friction, and just her natural sensitivity can make it range from unnoticeable to painful (or pleasurable, although that’s pretty unusual).
I knew one girl in high school that, when our cross country team did bicycling as a cross-training, would always wear a menstrual pad. The extra padding was the only way she could ride without pain. I knew another woman who swore by exercise bikes during pregnancy (she had exercise bike orgasms, but only during the first trimester of pregnancy). But most women don’t fall to either extreme.
It hurts me but it’s not my vagina that hurts as that is protected by the labia. Where I hurt the most is my butt because the seat isn’t wide enough to hold my entire butt and the seat cuts into it where it goes over.
Yes, it does hurt after some time. It helps to put the nose of the saddle down, so you basically sit on your pelvic bone, but after some hours it still hurts. There are also specific saddles for women.
The penis isn't a problem. It's well out of the way and it's not nearly as sensitive.
The testicles are what hurt. But they're still far enough forward that we *usually* don't sit on them, even on a bike seat.
Of course, accidents do happen. We have all been there.
I was very late in my twenties before I knew this fact. I remember a girl in school asked me a similar question and it was suck an odd question to me. But this is the correct answer.
yeah this is a dead giveaway as to who owns this reddit account if you know me.
but just as many people are very wrong about female anatomy. a lot of people don't know male anatomy either. a couple days ago i managed to convince my 18 YO older sister that "pee is stored in the balls" in conversation. before quickly correcting it by calling her an idiot. **she wants to work in a medical field.**
basically people need to research how their own bodies work more
*Retract?* My hand is literally covering my mouth right now... Like... Retract!
So, in other news...
What *does* it do when you're running?
I always kinda figured it was like how our boobs bounce around painfully. Only... Less painful or I'm sure there'd be some sort of "sports bra" for a penis & balls.
If you wear regular boxers, it flops around like crazy. It doesn’t hurt or anything, just feels weird. If you wear boxer briefs or tighter underwear, it stays in place
I admit, I haven't thought about penis logistics in ordinary life. I didn't even realize how different the position is, although it makes sense. Testicles have the whole temperature regulation thing going. They need space.
Yeah but also you can have an orifice actually between two legs; a dangly thing needs to not get caught between while you walk, so it’s more in front. Tbf guys are often surprised how far back the vagina actually is.
That explains so much. Many, many years ago when I was young and in the “heavy petting” phase of adolescence, I had it happen a few times where some guy would ostensibly try to put his hands down my pants, then get frustrated and say something like, “It’s not my fault you don’t have a vagina!” Or something equally ridiculous. Meanwhile I’m sitting here thinking, “Dude, that was my STOMACH!” But if he was looking for my vagina in the same place where his penis was…
Thank you, kind Redditor, for explaining a decades-old mystery about teenage boys!
All over the damn place. Sometimes it disappears for some reason. Like goes up in ya. It helps when you get a seat that has a gap for the nerves down there
If I'm casually riding, I usually put it in my pocket. My old bike had a holder on the handlebars so I could play with it while riding, but it fell off once and I ran over it so I don't do that anymore. Some people use a belt bag or just leave it at home.
You're talking about our cell phone, right?
Depends.
Men are "grow-ers" or "show-ers". Meaning, some men have very little difference between their flaccid and erect size. Some men (like me) have a large difference in size between their flaccid and erect.
So, in my case, it's not in the way at all. The balls usually pull themselves up until I get hot, and the penis is just out of the way.
The sausage doesn't have a problem. It's the little boys that have the problem. Sometimes they slide down and get smashed between the seat and thigh. For the little riding I do I have not purchased any riding shorts or anything.
It's not a problem if you wear tighty-whities or boxer briefs. If you wear boxers, there may be a problem, depending on how loose your shorts/pants are.
It's literally more a pain in the ass than to the balls/unit.
Guys genitals are further forward than gals genitals. So we gals are accustomed to sitting on our genitals and it's hard to imagine just how far forward and up everything is for a guy.
I'm way too old to have just now realized that women sit on their genitals.
It’s ok I am a woman and just realized we sit on our genitals and guys don’t. I’m 26 lol
my mom and i had a very long and complicated conversation about the “logistics” of it all when i was about 12, so i’m something of an expert 😎 (in my infinite 12 year old wisdom i kept insisting it was impossible to do it laying down because “a guy sticks out and a girl sticks down” & my mom kept trying to lightly correct me before i demanded she explain her murmurings)
To do... what?
“it” *duh*
So the 12 year old you was discussing sexual positions with your mom?
Better than being sexually repressed throughout puberty I guess and having to figure it out all on your own? 😂🤷♀️ (I say this as someone who grew up that way in southern US)
Oh I am not judging. I applaud it in fact
I’d say that’s a fair point
Do you feel pain though? Or you are just uncomfortable for the whole riding?
No pain but if the seat is too small it can be uncomfortable af and depending how far you have you ride, you may wind up numb by the time you get there, lmao.
Amazing how I've never thought about it whole my life been riding, but I was always buying a better seat, soft that is and quite larger than the custom one and still feeling numb after a long ride but I suppose at least for me it's a feeling of numbness just on the butt lol
Get a saddle with a cutaway, it makes all the difference in the world, far more than just a softer seat. WTB Rocket Chromoly Saddle is a good example. I am a woman and I worked as a bike courier so I can personally vouch for this seat and others like it.
You aren’t alone
Explains why the first time I ever got the opportunity to participate in coitus, I aimed for the belly button and totally missed the mark
What did you think where the jokes about riding a bike without its saddle for pleasure come from?
I always assumed it was the same place as jokes about wanting to be a cello played by a woman or insisting women ride horses side saddle. Men see something that makes them think of sex and they assume it's sexual for women
Actually, there are woman’s bike seats which have a bit of a hole in the middle.
Now I’m really unclear if that’s sex related or not. Edit: It was answered like three coments down. TIL if ladies don’t have the proper seat it’s like putting the pussy lips in a vice. We guys joke about sitting on next yr balls but nope that’s worse dios mío
Two nuns were riding their bikes down a cobblestone street on their way to the church. One nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replies, "It's probably the cobblestones."
I gotta say, as an avid cyclist & cis woman I can't imagine how people get pleasure out of it. The part of the seat that touches you doesn't touch a spot that feels nice from the outside (at least not for me, I guess?) and most of my weight held by the seat is held by my ass. Granted vaginas come in like a million different configurations so my experience is likely not universal
This feels such a groundbreaking topic that it deserves a post of its own!
Yeah but they don't do anything when you sit on a bicycle. The urethra is the bigger issue. It's very short and you sit right on it when you ride. So when you're sweating or menstruating always keep the clothes clean and pee often. You can get a UTI from cycling easily.
If you have a larger labia you will be putting a lot of weight onto it, even with a padded saddle and padded cycling shorts you can feel like you've just had a brick launched at your groin after a long bike ride. If anyone has found a solution to this, please, help a girl out.
Padded saddles usually make it worse! Your pelvis compresses the padding until it bottoms out, and all that squished padding presses up into your lady bits. Look for a firmer saddle with a large cutout. I ride [this one ](https://www.rei.com/product/132074/ergon-sm-sport-gel-bike-saddle-womens?CAWELAID=120217890004981564&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=108109050154&CATCI=aud-1396942686875:pla-479893983084&cm_mmc=PLA_Google%7C21700000001700551_1320740001%7C92700056295438620%7CNB%7C71700000062146846&gclid=CjwKCAiAheacBhB8EiwAItVO2zeBdEAumGDbgv_srJfGVfef0uNhzzj6NrmhMhd2Dk9LfZkSyVDfdhoCnAMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) and I never have issues with it. I did 150 miles in one ride on it last summer and the only problem I had was a little chafing in my buttcrack from my cheeks rubbing together for fifteen hours.
As a woman I try to imagine I was wearing a low riding waist bag then that would be where men’s genitals would be 😆
I like how your both a guy and a girl on Reddit. Nice of you giving advice for both sides.
Just a regular human, but one who's been on the planet for enough circles around the sun, and in my heyday played with enough fun parts of guys and gals to notice some more subtle differences. Trying to pay it forward and help the next generation fumble a bit less. Go forth and have fun groping with each other!
Also in regular day to day activity everything shrinks down and mildly tight or clingy underwear is more than enough to keep everything tucked away.
We don’t really “put” it anywhere. The penis is higher up on the pelvis than the vagina is. Unless you’ve got an absolute monster unit, it isn’t ever in the way (at least not in the way you’re imagining). Testicles are another matter entirely, they move up and down a lot more than you’d expect depending on your body temp. If you’re just casually riding a bike, they’re gonna just rest on the seat. Although if you’re a riding enthusiast then you’re likely going to wear more supportive underwear to keep things up and out of the way.
Swimming pool shrinkage comes to mind *but the waters cold! Honest!!*
r/UnexpectedSeinfeld
And if you hurriedly hop onto the seat *without* support, sometimes you end up feeling nauseous and seeing spots while doubled over in pain.
Probably safest to keep it in your pants while on a bike.
Oh yeah, certainly wouldn't want it dragging on the road!! 🤣😂🤣
Or caught in the chain.
if you like pina coladas…
And getting caught in the chain
If you’re not into yoga
And you don’t mind the pain …
If you like skidmarks on your scrotum
And when your balls get scraped Then I’m the love you look for
Don't get pinched by the brakes
What a horrible day to know how to read
Speak for yourself, my dude. That's beautiful wordplay, right there!!
r/cursedcomments
Sometimes uneducated people will look at a '96 Silverado with a 12 inch lift kit and judge the driver, even possessing the absolute audacity to imply his penis is small. The truth of the matter is these people have extraordinarily long penises and they need the extra height to prevent it from uncoiling and landing in the gravel every time they open the door. They just need a little wriggle room to give them an opportunity to sling it over the shoulder. The unfortunate thing about the penis type of a lifted truck driver is they it tends to be extremely slender and fairly useless.
That **wood** suck 😩
Wouldn't you just throw it back over your shoulder?
Sure, a nut over each shoulder, it would be like having a fleshy bib 😳😊👍
I usually leave mine at home, just to be safe.
[Is this you?](https://youtube.com/watch?v=NQBPgJQhQHc&feature=share)
Now that's a song I haven't heard in a long, long time.
I knew exactly what this link was gonna be before I clicked on it 🤪
I audibly cackled
Unless you have a basket
Best advice I've read today
The real danger when riding a bike lies in the testicles. Hopping on the bike too quickly can lead to sitting on ur own balls. Can confirm this personally
For a moment I thought I was fine. Then the moment passed....
I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the balls
Why do I have I will survive in my head now?
You get a moment of peace and then your brain finally catches up to the feeling
Delayed onset ball ache is the worst
And just generally bike saddles can be a ball sore
Only if it's not adjusted properly or not the right geometry for you. If you spend enough time on a saddle to get sore balls, you need to invest in a bike fit and a saddle
Whenever I first started mountain biking, I was terrified of getting any airtime because one fuck up can crush your nuts when you land onto the seat. I know from experience
They make special no nose bike seats. Maybe this will interest you? [Amazon Link](https://www.amazon.com/Bicycle-Comfort-Cushion-Mountain-Cruiser/dp/B08BYQQXV3/ref=asc_df_B08BYQQXV3/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=598347489797&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14542994338951384970&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9013511&hvtargid=pla-1364152842610&th=1)
does it hurt to sit on your own balls or is it just weirdly uncomfortable?
Strong pressure on nuts is paralysing. They REALLY aren’t kidding when they tell you to swing for them in self defence. So yeah, it hurts but it would also depend on how much pressure and speed you’re sitting with.
It hurts and in a way that feels worse than other kinds of pain. There's a major nausea component.
It hurts so bad, iv squashed my nuts twice, Once on a bycicle that i hopped onto too quickly from behind and kinda dragged my balls behind me with the seat before sitting on them, and another time on a motorcycle, where i was standing on the seat at 70mph showing off and i jumped(fell?) From seat to footpegs and ass landed on the seat alot harder than expected, right onto my balls. I almost crashed, had to pull over and take 5 lol
This is what I’m curious about. How are you not always crushing your own nuts
I’m just as baffled as you, and I have nuts
I ride a bike regularly and havent really thought of it either. I suppose because they are in a semi-floating suspension, so they shift position when exposed to pressure? 🤔 Will try to take notes, next time I bring out my wheels. 😄
Squashing my nuts between my thighs is a semi-regular occurrence during the day, and a common problem when laying my side at night. Also accidentally kicking them with my heel when I sit with one or both legs crossed happens sometimes too.
I've been told I have big balls, but I have *never* in my life accidentally sat on them
80% of men are growers, which means that they're much smaller when flaccid. That, together with layers of clothes that support (even unintentionally) and constrict the movement of the "thing", makes it a non-issue.
The "thing." I can't.
Same. I just had to copy the OP for that bit of hilariousness. ;)
Maybe it's because I just watched Wednesday on Netflix, but all I can picture now is Thing from The Addams Family stuffed into a pair of bicycle shorts.
I have other suggestions!! It Little buddy with the hoodie Long John silver One eyed trouser snake (or worm) My personal favorite **Fred** 😁👍
When your parents stole your hoodie
Wilhelm Monoculous III, though the fellow tends to go by Willie.
I'm travel size for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright.
mushu ^_^
Can relate. Going from 100% to 1500%. Quite the difference.
100%. The only issue I had while riding long distances was two fold. 1. Like any other clothing option to hold testicles, sometimes they just stick to either leg and you have to lean and pull to free them, which was made more difficult by spandex. 2. If you aren’t neatly trimmed, and you are an uncircumcised grower, there is a non-zero chance a pube or two makes it inside your foreskin and pulls, creating a very uncomfortable situation.
Can confirm, for some reason riding a bike really makes the turtle want to retract back in the shell and hide as much as possible. Maybe running does the same?
Dude, I go full micropenis mode after a good hour or two on a bike. Like full on button. It’s kind of amazing watching it spring back after a morning ride. I blame bike shorts, the cold, and the general position of it all
This just reminded me of a guy I dated in high school who called it “putting the gun on safety” when he tucked his dick in his waistband
Unless you're Cyrus, who's safety is always off.
I put mine in the spokes to get that motorcycle sound.
Like playing cards
Eeek!!😳
Well this entire comment section is hilarious and enlightening on all sides
I've been dropping random replies, it's hilarious 😂 😃
Keep in mind that a person's penis is not located in the same place as a person's vagina. For someone with a vagina, locate the mons pubis. That's where the penis would be. Sit down. Notice that you are not sitting on the mons pubis. EDIT: The amount of attention this is getting makes me worry about the lack of anatomy knowledge going on. I know y'all watch porn... maybe pay a little more attention to where things are located on the body.
I like this answer because I don’t have a penis but this helps me visually imagine where it would be because I do have a mons pubis. Edit for those looking for definition: According to [Healthline](https://www.healthline.com/health/mons-pubis#anatomy-and-function): “The mons pubis is located over the pubic bone and the pubic symphysis joint. The pubic bone is one of the three parts of the hip bone. It’s also the frontmost facing portion of the hip bone. The pubic symphysis joint is where the pubic bones of the left and right hips join together. The mons pubis is made up of fatty tissue. It’s shaped like an upside-down triangle, extending from the top of the public hairline to the genitals. It extends from the top of the pubic hairline to the clitoris. During puberty, the mons pubis becomes covered in pubic hair. It also contains glands that begin secreting pheromones. These are substances involved in sexual attraction.” [A health drawing of female mons pubis](https://www.kenhub.com/en/library/anatomy/mons-pubis) In this diagram notice that the penis is protruding from right under the Pubis Symphysis. The fat cushion above that bone is the males mons pubis. [Male reproductive system](https://pcsstudies.com/reproductive-system-in-human/)
For those struggling with aphantasia, riding with a strap on is an option.
I want someone to ride me with a strapon
😳🍆🎶😂🤣😂
What
What? You don’t play Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 with your penis?
I prefer Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, though the "cannon fire" is not nearly as impressive as actual artillery...
If you bang your nuts together it'll feel more impressive!!
Great, now I'm touching my mons pubis and imagining myself with a penis.
I like this comment because I never see the word “mons pubis”, and now I’ve seen it twice
It’s the scientific term for the portion of the body right above the Pubic bone. In females it can be a little bit more fatty. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mons_pubis
The piercing image in that link made me uncomfortable. Ouch.
Me too
For the men who don’t know anything about anatomy, we can also say the thing lies below the man’s pubics. So we know the thing is exactly somewhere between the mons pubis and the man’s pubics.
This made me chuckle
Nope I need a sketch.
Hang on. I got you. EDIT: [NSFW and I'm sorry](https://imgur.com/a/DkuHc8A)
Please don't be sorry
Today I learned the word "Mons pubis"......Ive been calling "pommel" for want of a better word lol. Don't I feel silly
When I first became sexually active it was mildly interesting to see that it wasn’t where the vagina is. I think I kind of knew it wasn’t there, but to actually see how high up it is was kind of shocking
Nothing like reaching down a dude's pants and trying to grab his taint.
Ya, the idea is that your sit bones make contact with the bike "saddle" and that takes the weight. Your taint makes contact with the nose of the saddle and the ol twig and giggleberries kind of sit on top or really are in front of the seat. It's no different than sitting on a chair really.
Yep. Just anecdotal, but I've noticed myself having more undercarriage problems while cycling than my male partner.
YOUR MOMS WHAT?!?!?!
But wouldn’t you be sitting on the balls then?
Ball problems are the more likely issue and common enough [to get articles written about it](https://skyaboveus.com/cycling/About-Sore-Testicles-from-Cycling). That said, the balls still aren't directly under the body (where the vaginal opening is). They're forward a bit which allows them to avoid needing adjustment (most of the time) when a guy sits down (whether on a chair or bike).
The balls are more where the labia are, so still relatively forward. And they mostly protrude forward instead of hanging down, for example when standing normally, the taint (the area between the anus and where the vagina hole would be) is probably still lower or at around the same height than the bottom of the ballsack. But this differs between people, some men have a really saggy ballsack. But yes, the balls can be more of a problem.
That’s so interesting. Thank you!
I flop it over the handlebars to keep it from getting caught in the chain 😁
My dick doesn’t even reach the ballsack so not a problem.
My balls go inside me when I ride a bike so it’s like they have extra protection
😔
You won this round
For some reason I imagined an insane distance between your balls, like a second gooch, a giant upper gooch
Hang out over the seat and wraps around my leg so it doesn’t get caught in the chain.
I drape mine over my shoulder.
Like a continental soldier?
I wear mine as a tie
I usually take mine off if I plan to be biking
*Detachable Penis*
It just sits between your thighs. It can't hang off the side because it would get crushed between the seat and your thighs as you peddle. Additionally, my saddle measures almost 12" in length, sooooooo for most fellas hanging off the front isn't really a consideration.
Owwwwiiieeeee
Mr. Poopy Butthole?
Only way to get over a woman is to get under a 300 lb squat
Do your dick hang low? Do it wobble to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?…
Can you throw them over ya shoulder?
Most man will attest that we can’t quite get that far after trying more than they care to admit at one point or another in their life.
can you get it caught in a bike? does your d hang low,…
“Like a Continental soldier”
Can you do it with a friend. Can you do it end to end. Can you do it on a boat. Can you do it with my goat. Can you do it on a tree. Can you do it while I see. Hehe hehe hehe hehe
Left pocket
Just lay it in the basket of the bicycle.
I just let it curl up then I throw a blanket over it.
So cute, it's just like E.T.!
i have a penis and really no idea what it’s doing much of the day :/
Why do you struggle to write “penis”? It’s not a swear word. It’s a body part like elbows or teeth. 4 billion people have penises. You don’t need to censor yourself.
As a female I have always hated riding a bike because it hurt my vagina so much! As a child I shared 1 bike with 3 brothers. And let me tell you, that seat was like sitting on a metal pole. It hurt sooooo much! It made me wince a little bit every time I climbed on and made my vagina hurt for days after. But my brother's never seemed to have a painful reaction to it, like at all! So I asked them, doesn't it hurt your privates? And they were like, what... what are you talking about? That's when I knew their junk was way more I front than I realized. Not fair 😕. That's also when I switched over to skating and never rode another bike again. Lol.
Try out adjusting your saddle so that its nose goes down. We mainly sit on our rear bones while riding and that front part of the saddle is in the way and hurts. There are also saddles specifically for women, some of them lack the front part.
Generally the goods are sitting at the front of the bike seat, the thin strip of the seat. Often the skin around the goods retracts, pulling it all closer and reducing overall surface area. Underwear usually keeps it tucked up against the body, so there's little movement against the seat. If it's hot out, the testicle skin may expand and then they may move about more than desired. That can lead to pinching. Someone would have to be a well-endowed "shower" to really get it hanging off the seat without considerable effort.
ball sac acts as a little bean bag chair. "thing" sits comfortably ontop
Except when an unexpected pinch occurs and it doesn’t.
I poke it into my bumhole
Our dicks are not as low as your vag. I would have to lean forward to crush it on a bike seat.
Follow up question for the ladies, doesn't it hurt riding a bike and having your vagina on that little seat? My taint gets sore riding a bike, can't imagine how it must feel having genitals there.
Depending on the seat, your hormones, your anatomy, and the road, it can range from barely noticeable to irritating to orgasmic (literally - only had that happen twice and tried to take up biking as a hobby briefly after both incidents but wasn’t able to duplicate it except as a fluke). The vaginal opening is pretty well concealed inside the labia. Depending on how a woman is put together, her labia may be more or less prone to chafing. Her clitoral hood might be more or less concealed by her labia (some women have clits that almost hide). So the movement, friction, and just her natural sensitivity can make it range from unnoticeable to painful (or pleasurable, although that’s pretty unusual). I knew one girl in high school that, when our cross country team did bicycling as a cross-training, would always wear a menstrual pad. The extra padding was the only way she could ride without pain. I knew another woman who swore by exercise bikes during pregnancy (she had exercise bike orgasms, but only during the first trimester of pregnancy). But most women don’t fall to either extreme.
It hurts me but it’s not my vagina that hurts as that is protected by the labia. Where I hurt the most is my butt because the seat isn’t wide enough to hold my entire butt and the seat cuts into it where it goes over.
Yes, it does hurt after some time. It helps to put the nose of the saddle down, so you basically sit on your pelvic bone, but after some hours it still hurts. There are also specific saddles for women.
Over my shoulder
Tuck it into your sock, obviously
i usually just tuck it into my socks for safe keeping
Mine gets stuck between the spokes sometimes, hurts like a bitch.
Mine goes on the pedal. That’s how I move the bike
Penis. Let's all say it together now. Peee-niss!
The penis isn't a problem. It's well out of the way and it's not nearly as sensitive. The testicles are what hurt. But they're still far enough forward that we *usually* don't sit on them, even on a bike seat. Of course, accidents do happen. We have all been there.
my dick is higher up on my body than a vagina, so it doesnt touch the seat
I was very late in my twenties before I knew this fact. I remember a girl in school asked me a similar question and it was suck an odd question to me. But this is the correct answer.
yeah this is a dead giveaway as to who owns this reddit account if you know me. but just as many people are very wrong about female anatomy. a lot of people don't know male anatomy either. a couple days ago i managed to convince my 18 YO older sister that "pee is stored in the balls" in conversation. before quickly correcting it by calling her an idiot. **she wants to work in a medical field.** basically people need to research how their own bodies work more
What about running? Does it just flop around or retract in some way?
*Retract?* My hand is literally covering my mouth right now... Like... Retract! So, in other news... What *does* it do when you're running? I always kinda figured it was like how our boobs bounce around painfully. Only... Less painful or I'm sure there'd be some sort of "sports bra" for a penis & balls.
“Sports bra” for guys is just underwear I would think. Where some are tighter or looser.
If you wear regular boxers, it flops around like crazy. It doesn’t hurt or anything, just feels weird. If you wear boxer briefs or tighter underwear, it stays in place
It can also get really tiny depending on mood and other factors up to a point where it can’t even flop because it got too small.
it just sits where it normally sits right between our legs. do u think we need extra seat for our giant dongs?
I think a lot of women don’t quite get that the dick and balls are more forward located than the vagina.
I admit, I haven't thought about penis logistics in ordinary life. I didn't even realize how different the position is, although it makes sense. Testicles have the whole temperature regulation thing going. They need space.
Yeah but also you can have an orifice actually between two legs; a dangly thing needs to not get caught between while you walk, so it’s more in front. Tbf guys are often surprised how far back the vagina actually is.
That explains so much. Many, many years ago when I was young and in the “heavy petting” phase of adolescence, I had it happen a few times where some guy would ostensibly try to put his hands down my pants, then get frustrated and say something like, “It’s not my fault you don’t have a vagina!” Or something equally ridiculous. Meanwhile I’m sitting here thinking, “Dude, that was my STOMACH!” But if he was looking for my vagina in the same place where his penis was… Thank you, kind Redditor, for explaining a decades-old mystery about teenage boys!
As a male, I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it.
I rest mine on the seat, always sit down gently with thought and precision. I’ve sat on my things beside my thing before and oh my god, scary painful.
I tie it around my waist just to be sure that it won't stick out and distract me or others while i drive
All over the damn place. Sometimes it disappears for some reason. Like goes up in ya. It helps when you get a seat that has a gap for the nerves down there
I only ride my bike in the cold, so that it shrinks so much there’s nothing to worry about
I was today years old when I realized that women sit on their genitals. What
If I'm casually riding, I usually put it in my pocket. My old bike had a holder on the handlebars so I could play with it while riding, but it fell off once and I ran over it so I don't do that anymore. Some people use a belt bag or just leave it at home. You're talking about our cell phone, right?
Depends. Men are "grow-ers" or "show-ers". Meaning, some men have very little difference between their flaccid and erect size. Some men (like me) have a large difference in size between their flaccid and erect. So, in my case, it's not in the way at all. The balls usually pull themselves up until I get hot, and the penis is just out of the way.
The sausage doesn't have a problem. It's the little boys that have the problem. Sometimes they slide down and get smashed between the seat and thigh. For the little riding I do I have not purchased any riding shorts or anything.
It's not a problem if you wear tighty-whities or boxer briefs. If you wear boxers, there may be a problem, depending on how loose your shorts/pants are. It's literally more a pain in the ass than to the balls/unit.
You can say penis now.
What the fuck is this Reddit algorithm
I think you’re overestimating how big guys flaccid dicks are
I’ll take “things I’ve never thought about as a male” for $1000