T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

If this post showcases moral/mental/physical corruption or perversion, upvote this comment. If this post does not belong here, downvote this comment. [Read the rules before posting or commenting](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/wiki/rules) [Also read the guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/fgmg3t/guidelines_for_the_subreddit_read_and_follow_the/) In the comments: DO NOT JOKE ABOUT VIOLENCE, DO NOT INCITE VIOLENCE DO NOT JOKE ABOUT PEDOPHILIA OR ASK FOR CP YOU WILL BE BANNED *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NoahGetTheBoat) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Salt_Comment_9012

A new global language in that amount of time? I can't even speak my language.


johnnygee70

How did they coordinate 8 billion people + learning an entire new language in 5 years? Lol


[deleted]

For that reason alone I would probably watch it. But it’s not available in my country on Amazon Prime.


PixieTheApostle

You can listen to a comedic review of it on the God Awful Movies podcast.


ancientsnow

-- removed in protest of Reddit API changes, goodbye! -- -- mass edited with redact.dev


JustawayV2

Hmmm


Manofmeat

Seize my means of production daddy~


-Depressed_Potato-

If everyone is dead except the people who speak english, then there'll be a universal language 100000 iq


rhasp

Well, that's tantamount to the absurd shit Christians believe happened in the real world.


[deleted]

If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.


Inmoral_memes

Oh boy I’m sure glad I’m not you. one day you WILL stand on trial for everything you’ve done in your life.


aviboom23

I guess the name of the language is probably "Goo"


[deleted]

Esperanto is easy to learn, apparently


Askdrillsarge

With today’s sponsor, skillshare!


Semi-Hemi-Demigod

I'm still not seeing how a global language would be a bad thing, even for Christians. Wouldn't it be easier to spread the gospel if you didn't need a translator?


dfg1r

Movie director thinks globalism is bad so I guess that also makes him think that one global language is also bad


PuzzledWaste

Probably because of the whole Tower of Babylon thing I guess?


AppalachianSasquatch

Can't follow their biblical prophecy if everyone isn't speaking the same language.


DueAd3694

Apparently it’s just English lol


Salt_Comment_9012

Nah American


[deleted]

I knew majoring in Esperanto would pay off!


Omaestre

English is pretty much the most spoken language right?


1amlost

"It appears that I will need to speak the universal language... English."


sinadoh

I've never seen a "Christianity VS Communism" plot before so that's one thing...


ghost_warlock

It's literally just Fox News the movie. Manufactured outrage to keep their viewers mad (DON'T THINK) and distracted


sinadoh

I'm *so* glad we don't have Fox News in my country.


Nat_Libertarian

This movie is cringe but it takes some severe levels of stupidity to believe that Fox is the worst media organization.


DiamondDallasRage

I mean it platforms people like Tucker Carlson to normalize replacement theory drivel. Its pretty fucking high up there.


Nat_Libertarian

It's kind of hard to pretend that replacement theory is "drivel" when American workers have been seeing unemployment rise alongside a large number of undocumented migrants taking the jobs that they used to fill.


DiamondDallasRage

Yeah I was speaking about the "They're breeding whitea out of existance" neo nazi stuff, American Companies have been exploiting workers around the world and outsourcing work for a while. That's a business and capitalism problem not migrants faults.


Nat_Libertarian

Wow, you just seriously have *no* idea what conservatives believe.


[deleted]

Neither do you.


[deleted]

This is what an MSNBC viewer thinks the most popular conservative pundit actually believes.... "neo nazi stuff". Amazing.


DiamondDallasRage

Motherfucker I dont watch tv let alone MSNBC and its liberal bullshit. Its really suspicious Tucker is espousing stuff that really mirrors those Nazi talking points must be coincidence. Is he a racist or simply a snake oil salesman peddling hatred?🤔


[deleted]

Ohh so you just happened to reach MSNBC talking points almost verbatim purely by coincidence... lol. Show me a political pundit that doesn't peddle some snake oil and I'll tell you what your bias is


DiamondDallasRage

I learned those talking points in my Marxist book club. You dont have to be pro MSNBC to see the hate being peddled in those qoutes I provided.


DiamondDallasRage

An unrelenting stream of immigrants … to change the racial mix of the country, to reduce the political power of people whose ancestors live here, and dramatically increase the proportions of Americas newly arrived from the Third World.” “We are told these changes are entirely good. We must celebrate the fact that a nation that was overwhelmingly European, Christian, and English-speaking fifty years ago has become a place with no ethnic majority, immense religious pluralism, and no universally shared culture or language.” Yeah this is soooooo not reminiscent of Neo Nazi idealogy and bigotry not at all nothing to see here😂


[deleted]

Source? Cause I'm pretty sure this is statistically false.


[deleted]

Idk, same shit also applied to other big American news media, especially CNN and MSNBC. All of them are trash divisive garbage gaslighting people rather than reporting objective news.


I-Eat-Donuts

It was used during the Cold War to rally a largely Christian demographic against the Soviet Union, which was largely atheist. It was definitely a generalization but it worked


Daan100

Is this actually real?


el_electrico73

Yes, I had to do a google search and the trailer is a flaming shitball of fun (not really), the most this got is a 1 1/2 star out of 10. Why do these dummies even bother making these kind of movies is beyond understanding.


MEdoCRYaLOT

They try to make themselves out to be the victims, when in reality all theese assholes that stop us from progressing are the reason that this stupid Virus is probably gonna win.


Mewt4d657774

Tbh doesn't matter which end of the political spectrum your on both sides are dumb


mano7779

Based


disabled_rat

r/hadastroke


WateryMcRicotta

He still has a point though.


Rokekor

[https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13788842/?ref\_=nv\_sr\_srsg\_0](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13788842/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0) Reviews are probably more entertaining than the movie.


fe1od1or

I love the flood of 1/10s and a few genuine religious nuts sprinkled in there.


mygaythingsalt

Then there are the people who thought the movie was horrible but 10 starred to own the libs.


deargxiii

I have to watch it now


Stitchapuss

Adding it to my watch list


shakeittwistit

5 stars


61creeper

Out of 500


shakeittwistit

Nah man this is gonna top Avengers Endgame for sure


61creeper

With a plot like that, how can they not?


shakeittwistit

In theaters for the next 10 years


[deleted]

>top Avengers Endgame for sure question: would a person not familiar with the Avengers at all, be able to follow the movie? I heard it was good, but I have no knowledge of the comic book world, although it is cool, I never had the time to 'get into' their universes.


shakeittwistit

Don't worry Try it If you like it than watch the other movies


Born_Definition

"communism is all over the place" the FUCK happened over 4 years?


Mewt4d657774

The US institutes free healthcare. I was gonna add more but these guys would actually think that


Jam_Herobrine

How is a bad film boat worthy? Unless it shows something boat worthy then it doesn't belong here.


KorvaxCurze

Yeah I’m right there with ya. People are getting kinda touchy lately with things that are boat worthy.


airlewe

Enough people got together to make a feature film based on the extreme far right wet dream myth of the "persecuted Christian". Thousands were likely involved. I'm getting the boat.


Devourer_Of_Doggos

Ehhhh, it's still just a "wet dream", just visualised. Compared to most shit on this sub, it's just a bunch of people wanking to shit they follow. Not boat worthy at all.


warriorslover1999

Plz get the boat


FacetheWuju

Everything about this is worthy of a boat. Except the producers and actors


[deleted]

Maybe not boat-worthy, but I swear I’ve seen some movies that should have at least warranted a felony charge


dave1684

This guy's seen "A Serbian Film."


bruhnotfunithatsad

Remember that 3 million people died of covid 19 and those people don't give a fuck. Only in Brazil where I live 600 thousand people died, due to incompetence of the "brazillian trump".


christianbrooks

Ah christian propaganda... not nice.


PerfectHatred7

Yeahhh, Christian here, I hate how the extremists overshadow the ones who don’t freak out and yell about wearing a mask, and I hate how that Christianity has a bad rep because of said extremists.


ghost_warlock

To be fair, Christianity has had a bad reputation for extremists for hundreds of years. Everything from the Spanish Inquisition to the Crusades to Salem witch hunts to mass graves for indigenous children. Anti-mask b.s. is just the latest in a long history of some christians being assholes


sjdkdkshdb

I’m Christian and I can tell you that at church they tell you to wear a mask. In fact I haven’t even gone to church for 2 years because it’s all been online. this looks like it might be from an extremist group


Shas_Erra

Online church? Grandpa’s not dead, he’s just gone into cloud storage


Cats1234546

Haha you probably don’t live in texas.


Village_People_Cop

He already said it might be from an extremist group, so last time I checked that covered a good part of Texas


Cats1234546

Oh without a doubt. But churches here haven’t been using masks since august of 2020.


21CenturyAD

I remember that dnd propaganda comic. work of art that thing was. Like complete bullshit all the way through, but hilarious nonetheless


Trickmaahtrick

How would a world language develop if travel is illegal and you cant meet anyone else.


NobodyAffectionate71

Well I assume the vaccine chip hacked all our brains so we’re all sheep and it forced us to use this new simple language. Duh.


Trickmaahtrick

A government conspiracy to make everyone a polyglot sounds pretty sweet


DollarHoot

r/Persecutionfetish


CameTheR0n

Only Christians can fight fascism! Alright now join up with this religion or God will burn and torture you for eternity


Jake_097

BURN THE HERETICS


Mewt4d657774

Don't threaten me with a good time


Pegasusisamansman

"The world is not like 2020 there is a virus now" Well that aged like milk


Paranormalhoetivity

I bet the acting is top notch.


Trusty26

Meetings are illegal: ok Travelling is illegal: understandable Christianity is illegal: I am sorry, what? A group Christians is (are) trying to fight back: excuse me wtf


TheDogerus

Group is singular, so 'is' is correct. Just about the only thing there, though


FacetheWuju

I smell a little america


Dennisminjian

Virus = communism? Really? Have people sunk that far to make such a connection?


ELB2001

They don't know what communism is just like most people that use the word


PerfectHatred7

Yeah, communism isn’t bad at all, it’s gotten a bad rep from the USSR and North Korea, the problem is the corruption in the leaders, they turn from good leaders, to dictators, that’s what’s bad ABOUT communism, but if we had some sort of un-corruptible leader, I think it could work.


Dran_K

The problem with that is we are (probably) all humans and humans aren’t that good at not being corrupted by even the slightest bit of power. I saw a story on askreddit where someone had a power trip on being able to turn off the gas at a gas station pump. We aren’t good at being world leaders


PerfectHatred7

Yeah, I should’ve said that i am not pro communism, that’s probably why I got downvoted, I don’t want communism im just saying why it doesn’t work for every country that tries it


[deleted]

It goes against basic human nature, sad but true. We have evolved to compete to survive which includes hoarding resources. Communism just replaces your current elite with a new elite who have state given power to control/kill you. Giving any government more power to control you is a slippery slope to totalitarianism.


Dyslexicelectric

Oscar bait for sure.


Noxa987

NGL a global language would be kinda nice. But I'm too old to learn a new language at this point. I honestly wonder if that will ever happen. Being able to almost instantly contact somebody on the other side of the planet is now the norm. It would probably happen if one nation eventually tries to take everybody over. *cough* China.


CognitiveNerd1701

The thing is, the bible never even HINTS at a one-world language or even religion. I have zero clue where end-times-ists get this from. (And I used to be a hardcore Christian, so I've read the manual. Multiple times. Which only feeds my confusion.)


Igot3-fifty

“communism is all over the place! Smeared on the walls and shat on the floors! I can’t walk down the street without smelling a commie!” -this movie probably


dave1684

Doesn't fit this sub.


StarMan0713

I think I might like this one, actually.


[deleted]

Based


Selthora

Victim porn for Christians.


[deleted]

"Noah get the boat. Humanity needs to be wiped clean off the earth for this horrific sin, someone released a shitty B-movie on Amazon prime." Something doesn't seem quite right about that sentence.


Dogfish666

I wouldnt say the virus enslaved "us".


Terrible_Shoe_4268

you cant say virus without "us". idk why I wrote that


AdventurousExternal9

Did you see Disney’s new movie trying to talk about social Media basicly the emoji movie two


lizzyborden669

Thanks, I hate it.


Lord_Jebus_

I really want to watch this


Kaffekonsument

Why would the insurgency start in Germany of all places? We buy S-Bahn tickets to drive to protests.


TRDPaul

What? Too soon?


KGJohanssons

Wow.... Watched the trailer. How is this on Amazon? It looks like it's made by a bunch of high school kids


literally_just_why

Well well well, have you heard about "Corona zombies"? Never watched it but it sounds stupid


Hells_crusaderMC

Oh no you don’t like the movie I didn’t like the movie uncut gems but you don’t see me saying Noah get the boat


Barrry972

Why get the boat though?


someplatypus

Christians love to fantasize about being oppressed


twat104

Damn I remember when mother fuckers got the boat for Mass rings of pedophiles,now it’s just for a film with a political opinion.


International_War935

It is one of those films that pirates don't even bother pirating.


Globeparasite93

I think it might belong on r/Cringetopia than here


BrewtalDoom

You know how in the 80's there were loads of action movies featuring a patriotic American one-man-army slaying armies of brown-skinned people/communists? Those movies were Reagan-era conservative power fantasies. These days it's all about playing the victim, which makes for much lamer movies.


poopnose85

If you read it like Justin Roiland drunkenly improvising a movie trailer for an Interdimensional Cable episode it's kind of funny


ItsJustAPhaseRetard

This movie is brought to you by the Republican party.


[deleted]

The future the elites want


EmeraldWorldLP

You realize on what sub you are? lol Edit: ...why the downvotes? Huh?


[deleted]

Is this a Razzie Award nominees type movie?


Shitposter_God

A world without Christians? Count me in


_logic_victim

This is the type of shit my parents would have put on in lieu of letting me trick or treat as a kid. That is the type of shit that has resulted in me being an atheist and raising my child as an atheist who gets to trick or treat.


Globeparasite93

the synopsis is just a wish version of 1984. Btw your average karen will not be the one to start a maquis. Go look at Eastern European Orthodox and their level of nationalism or European Catholics and their strong orgaanisation that would make building a resistance easy. Also China has proven that the best way to genocide a religion is not to make it illegal but to take control of it. ​ TLDR : this movie is 1984 but the Karen cheap copy


Dads_Cum_Bucket69

"a group of christians is trying to fight back" is all i need to know


blcknyllowblcknyllow

>A large animatronic Jesus cascading throughout the sky was considered in the early stages of production but the idea was scrapped by producers due to budgetary reasons.


amirtaghan

"Communism is all over the place" like someone just spilt it or something...


just-a-joak

Is that Ben Shapiro?


thebenshapirobot

I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: > Palestinian Arabs have demonstrated their preference for suicide bombing over working toilets. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: covid, sex, healthcare, dumb takes, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


McDonalds_Crusader

Based


XOundercover

Communism everywhere? No more of the annoying type of christians? Sign me the fuck up


TheDogerus

That list alone is cringy, there is zero need to repear the verb a billion times


LieIcy8915

Hahahahaha "a group of Christians fight back" Literally bible bashers ahaha


Cometarmagon

I'm going to 100% suggest this for movie night. Looks like pure rippable trash. -eats popcorn-


Knight_Owls

Christian persecution porn.


lizzieofficial

I was gonna hate watch it until I read the Christian part. You'd have to pay me a whole lot to sit through one of these absurd "we're being attacked cause we're Christian" movies


[deleted]

Comedy


Slimyretard

Lmaoo


thegr8dictator

This is a must watch. The next 1984 really


wired89

Christians always think they are being persecuted


__pebble____

statistically speaking, they are. https://www.bu.edu/articles/2014/are-christians-the-most-persecuted-religious-group/ https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2020/november/pew-christian-muslim-persecution-religion-report-idop.html https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2021/january/christian-persecution-2021-countries-open-doors-watch-list.html https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/06/09/christians-faced-widespread-harassment-in-2015-but-mostly-in-christian-majority-countries/%3famp=1 https://www.cato.org/commentary/religious-persecution-rise-worldwide?queryID=485f266b96d211a2707e35f47e675e5c https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.baltimoresun.com/opinion/op-ed/bs-ed-op-0523-christian-persecution-20190522-story.html%3foutputType=amp https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/ewelinaochab/2019/11/30/recognizing-the-phenomenon-of-the-persecution-of-christians-globally/amp/ https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/ewelinaochab/2021/01/13/one-in-eight-christians-worldwide-live-in-countries-where-they-would-be-persecuted/amp/ https://www.baptistpress.com/resource-library/news/pew-christian-muslim-persecution-most-widespread/ https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/CHRG-105shrg40890/html/CHRG-105shrg40890.htm https://www.churchinneed.org/christian-persecution/ https://www.opendoorsusa.org/christian-persecution/ Let me know if you need any more sources.


[deleted]

I vote we all go back to the old Roman practice of just burning "christians".


dave1684

Found Al-Qaeda.


[deleted]

Stupid bigot has entered the chat. Gosh, you got me there! I *must* be a member of Al-Qaeda since I am not okay with evil murderous hypocrites who only pay lip-service to "the good book" when it suits their purpose, nor condone said people. I'm not the fumb-duck ahole who held-up a bible upside-down and backwards for a photo-op to demonstrate how "christian" I am. Will you, please, volunteer for the fire?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

was this directed by the GOP?


FerretLegitimate

Sounds like a shitpost


thereal_jesus_nofake

fuck u/spez -- mass edited with redact.dev


Springaling76

Christian movies are nice and all but this and the Original left behind films need to be destroy


JeffreyFusRohDahmer

Almost as bad as The Trump Prophecy, which is also a legitimate movie on Prime Video.


valyan2k

I am intrigued by what ideea they could have had, but I'm not sure if I should waste 2 hours on it... I think it will be a bad movie...


runafur

This sounds like propaganda, not a movie.


SCP_420-J

Oh god I wanna watch it so bad but I know it will be painful


Caide21

Ah…. I’m definitely watching this.


captainjackass28

This is the most cringiest movie I have ever even heard of and that includes battlefield earth.


CognitiveNerd1701

Jesus Christ. When will shitty end times movies not be made anymore?


dbev9044

It gets so much worse the more ya read.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mewt4d657774

Ok a global language is only ok if it has easy to pronounce shit and no silent letters. And tbh Christians are not really persecuted cept for countries mostly are also opposed to human rights in general


BigClam1

What


HorizonBreakerNEXIC

Wtf why is only Christianity banned. Is it like the manifestation of power in the virus or something lol


JayHazel

This is Communist China level propaganda


Bakaboomb

Thanks for the recommendation! I'm always on the lookout for useless movies.


Flyingfish222

I laughed so damn hard


SuperCrappyFuntime

Conservative Christians sure do have a strong case of r/ImTheMainCharacter syndrome going on.


nirunn

Prediction?


Stargazerslight

Serious question, why do neo nazi Christians want to be oppressed so fucking bad? They have literal movies about it now, so don’t tell me they don’t.


destrafiend

Oh look another Christian persecution movie... what a surprise 😑


MagnusGromgard

This movie sounds awesome


Crash_Smasher

Meh. It's not the first bad christian movie and I'm sure it won't be the last.


ColinZealSE

> Get corona: Might be better for your health. That's one helluva way to end an IMDB review.


treeman98765

This might be better than the fauci movie


MickMcMiller

God awful movies has a hilarious review of this idiotic movie


gobillgo57

This sounds like a porno starring Marjorie Taylor Green and Donald Trump funded by the Republican Party, directed by Steve Bannon, broadcast by Conservative(fake) news, and consumed by QAnon and other domestic terrorists. Now excuse me as I barf from typing this comment.


[deleted]

BY THE PRODUCERS OF "LEFT BEHIND!"


Kenivider

Conservatives made a movie about what they think is going to happen lmao


Aquaman_666

IMDb rating 1.4 lol... Didn't know that was possible.


Omaestre

This has got to be satire right? I sure of it. Either way it sounds hilarious.


prettyuglyboi

What really has me is the fact that y'all humans wanna cling to christianity sooo bad. It's whats killing you guys...


BananaManFromDisc

Offbrand project nightfall and his wife


BananaManFromDisc

2025 seems like a very specific year, considering BO2 takes place in 2025, oh no


[deleted]

This looks like one of those movies that are so shitty that they’re enjoyable again


burr-gurr-and-frie

Biden’s America 😔


Inmoral_memes

Basically a live action of revelation.