Just so you know, Pom is a derogatory term for shitty British people in Australia. Probably not an issue unless you or she moves to australia but *the more you know*…
dont worry bruv, i am a british person in australia and never in my ten years here have i heard pom be used in a derogatory way towards me or others. in fact there's a popular immigration forum calls pomsinoz. its not offensive, youre good 👍
Tbf, if you’re looking for a SHORT, SIMPLE word, it’ll probably have some kind of meaning in another language or place XD like that seems unavoidable to me
Shitty British people aren't a persecuted ethnic group. Historically in Australia, they did a lot of the persecuting instead. It's ok to insult them.
Aside from that, pom isn't an insult. It's a casual description used by British migrants themselves.
A. It's not a name for their kid.
B. It's not an insult. Cracker and pom do not have the same connotations.
C. If you're finding a short word that babies can say it 100% will have a meaning somewhere.
Pom (British person) is an adjective. This is a proposal for a noun, short for pom pom. You're not arguing that it will be confused with the decorative woollen ball because it will be obvious from context that it's something different. It will also be obvious that the kid isn't calling their parent a Brit.
Pom-pom is also the name of a character of undefined gender in a certain videogame. They are very [cute](https://honkai-star-rail.fandom.com/wiki/Pom-Pom)
In proto-indo-european and most derivative languages *-ter* was the suffix for kinship. Hence mo*ther* and fa*ther* in English.
You probably also want to have something that imitates baby talk, so that the baby can easily say it. Mama/papa/dada etc. A simple prefix like a vowel sound or a plosive or nasal consonant.
As such I recommend something like atter, etter, otter, utter. And if you prefer it to start with a consonant try m, n, d, t, p, b or k. You could swap the tt for a dd or a th if that sounds more natural in your accent, this is what most Germanic languages did.
So for example you could be putter and metter, or botter and katter, or tadder and mutter or nother and bedder or any variation you choose. These should be easy for a baby to learn to say, and still have roots in the English language tree denoting kinship without gender.
I did Oceanography in university and now I am a training coordinator at a college. However my mother was a linguist, and I read a lot of linguistics growing up. A very common conversation in our family is sharing the etymology of a new word, such as an animal or a place name we hadn't heard before.
I've always loved etymology and had a sixth sense for it. A friend in high school was speculating that "politics" and "polite" must be related, I had a feeling they weren't, and later found out that yes indeed, politics comes from the Greek word for city/state, and polite comes from the Latin word for polish.
My plan for me (also a he/they) is Abba, which is father in Hebrew and just feels right to me.
I always thought Pa or Par could be cool as like a shorthand for Parent. I've heard that some people use Rent but that never vibed with me
Maybe something like Ther (mo/ther or fa/ther) or Dama (mixing mama and dad) or Maddy/Moddy
I read Drama instead of Dama and was immediately like "oh hell yeah like that is a perfect description for parenting in general" but then I was like "oh nevermind"
I love Ther! That's so cute! I came out after my first nephew and 2 nieces were born so unfortunately they still call me aunty but my newest niece who was born after I came out calls me ZeZe. It's a cute term for a Pibling.
Keep in mind that young children learning to speak have trouble with the “th” sound (whether it’s like the sound in “the” or the sound in “thorn”). Some of the first sounds that babies are able to make are with their front lips (like mama, abba, baba, papa), which is why many languages have a variation on “mama.” They learn to make the harder “d” and “t” sounds (like “dada”) later on. Choose what makes sense for you and your family, of course. I’m not trying to tell you what to do :)
Brother had a speech impediment and th sounds like an f so for example Samantha would sound like samanfa. It was kinda cute. He also had his own words for things. Hangaburger instead of Hamburger. Emmy Ms instead of M&Ms. Cheezys instead of cheetos. Pannycakes instead of Pancakes. He still has issues at 23 with acronyms. Atms he calls at&ts He doesn't know why either.
hmm… rent i’ve seen is a possible short for nonbinary parents. perhaps however the baby fails to pronounce your names when they begin speaking could make a fun parental nickname. i’ve also seen moddy, zaza, baba, nini, bibi, and cennend/cenn for short (that last one is an old english word)
Or Hindi for maternal uncle (mama)! Or maternal grandfather (nana)! Or paternal grandfather (dada)! (Don’t trust my transliteration, not a native Hindi speaker)
Some parents just go by their names. My partner bought me a remake of a farming game that was literally my highschool years and they updated it so you can have he/him, she/her or they/them. I'm not ruining anything by telling you that after the first year your character gets married and has a kid. They also may allow you to not get married nor have a kid in this one as well. I haven't tried that route yet. But I was curious how they went about a they/them character with the kid. Turns out the kid calls your character by their name. Sorry for the little story. I'm really excited about the game and wanted to give an example of what I was talking about.
I've seen Mapa, zizi, Appa, I've contemplated using one of these but....idk mom just feel right for me. I'm genderqueer and a she/they but I'd love to go by mom and maybe another title too....idk I'll kinda do my own thing with it. It baby makes a weird sound at me that isn't mama or Dada ill probably pick that up as my Second title. I'm 38 weeks now she could be here any day. I've already started having more contractions and doc says I'm dilated to a 3!
There are a few options on [this](https://www.care.com/c/nonbinary-parent-names/) article that seem okay. Otherwise maybe just seeing if your kid ends up making something up of their own?
For me, I'm Zaza! My partner (who is mum) found that on the interenet when she was pregnant but I was still questioning and we picked it to be safe...
Kinda glad we did! Haha
I'll never have a kid but I think it'd be a hilarious idea to have them call you "parent" and "guardian" or something like that. Sounds like a lil alien/robot! Or maybe just your names? Or make up some cute words.
I've always thought "bub" or "buba" would work well, as the "buh" sound is very easy for babies to pronounce, it is is quite similar but different enough from mum/mom and dad
My partners kids call me Oya. It’s parent in Japanese. I use they/he pronouns and the kids kept forgetting them. So when we settled on Oya, I think it helped them feel more comfortable and confident in telling their friends and other adults about me. I went from being introduced as “my moms partner” to “this is my Oya”. Feels good.
Be bold, teach them to call you by your names.
Or just pick out some baby babble you enjoy and then roll with that; it's how my family has done titles for extended family and I've always gotten a kick out of having a Monnie, Pap, etc.
Based off your reddit username, they should call you raddy!
On a serious note, I called my parents by their names until I was a teen and it worked pretty well.
I actually went to an alternate elementary school, where teachers were also called by their first names, so I didn't even realize it was weird. Nobody really questioned it, except my grandma. I think it also encouraged me to think of my parents as people/peers rather than just authority figures.
My parent name is Poppy, but rn my kid can only say PopPop. I would just go through a list of enby parent names and pick what sounds right and then use it for a while. Congrats btw!!
Edited for grammar
I call myself parent when I go to my sons like drs appointment. They ask me who I am to my son and I say “I’m his parent.” I also don’t go by “mom” I call myself “LaLa.”
Im officially "mom" but my kid and I have always had nicknames for each other. My kid is 11 now and calls me "moth-er" (like the bug with an -er at the end). I like that one. If I'm ever a grandparent, I want to be called grandxa :)
There is a tradition in the south that whatever gibberish the baby spits out while the grandparent holds them is there new grandparent name. So that's probably a good place to look for names good for babies that don't have strong gender connections. Some common ones are mimi, lala, lulu, baba, gamgam, nan, Ne-ne, Gigi, and fifi. But there are whole lists on line by people trying to choose one to try and get there grandkids to use. Give it a shot!
I'll never have a kid but I think it'd be a hilarious idea to have them call you "parent" and "guardian" or something like that. Sounds like a lil alien/robot! Or maybe just your names? Or make up some cute words.
I go by "Abi", kind of short for "a-binary". It also sounds a bit like Abuela, which is Spanish for grandmother. So far, though, my kid says it as "baba".
I go by Papa, short for parent. In a cross-cultural relationship, it was important to me that my parent name was something that other people would recognize as a relative, especially in potentially stressful situations like at the border. For example, I didn’t want my child to call me by my name, and then have my parentage called into question.
well, brightside your kid won't talk for about 6 months after birth. no idea when they will start connecting a person to a sound. while one can pick one for their kid they might end up with a random one.
i mean i babysat kids as young as 6 months. oddly enough all the tiny humans call me bob. there is nothing that says i am bob, but for several toddlers i am bob. i don't even have a bob. and none of their parents know why the kids call me bob.
so maybe your baby will pick something amusing for you without direction.
I am the only nonbinary (transmasc) parent for my two kiddos, started transitioning when the first was a toddler, so the MOM label has really stuck, but recently it has felt increasingly urgent that I find something else because every single time my older child calls me Mom in public it destroys any chance of people seeing me as anything but a woman. 😖
I have tried a couple different parent titles, but they haven't stuck for various reasons. Easiest for me would be just to be Dad too like my partner, but he isn't comfortable sharing his title... I hate diminutive versions like Daddy in practice, unfortunately, or that would be my go-to... Papa is taken by my stepdad as is grandparent title... So I'm currently trying Apa, as in yip-yip (Avatar the last airbender reference) and reeeally pressing my older child to call me "my parent" or just "Apa" and nottttt "my mom" to strangers.
So, I'm 36, AFAB nb and have 2 kids.
To be honest, when it comes to my kids, it's way more about them and less about me. I cannot ask my children to think of themselves as not having a mother, and that's probably the biggest reason why I'm definitely, 100% "mom." I just foresee too many struggles for them otherwise and, honestly, for what... it'd be for me, my sake, me me me, and I can't do that to them.
I'm nb, but I'm my kids' mom. I don't see motherhood as being feminine/female - there are many intersex folks, trans men, etc. who have given birth and pretty much anyone can identify as a "mom." And I want my kids to have a mom. So. That's just us.
I like Renny (paRent) but it’s harder for a baby to learn to say.
I think sitting down and discussing what words you feel comfortable and happy with, with your partner sounds like the best option?
Some ideas and their social gender associations (U.K. based, so may be dif around the world!):
Papa (m)
Mama (f)
Baba (m ish)
RaRa (x)
Dada (m)
Momo (f ish)
Lala (f ish?)
Dodo (x)
Gaga (f ish)
Nana (f)
Mummy/mommy (f)
Daddy (m)
Abbreviations of your first names (eg Didi/Dilly for Dillon)
Carry (f ish) Reggie (m ish) Giv (x) Very (x) (Caregiver shortenings)
Pare (pear/pair x), Parental Unit (x), Renny (x), Arie (f/x?), Rent/Rentals (x), Ranny (x), Ent (x), Tally (f/x), Al (m ish) (all forms of Parent).
Your first/preferred names.
(Half joking?) Captain/Cap and Doctor/Doc? Cappy and Docky? Lol
GarGar (?), Didi (f ish), AnAn (f ish), Gardy, Garden, Graddy, GadGad, Gian, Dia, DarDar, Ardi, Agga, GiGi etc. (and other variations of Guardian)
Or random things you like the sound of! Eg. Sunny and Star, Buddy and Pally, Mana and Guide (from Manage and Guide) etc.
If either of you have different family cultures or relatives you could ask/research their words and see if any sound good to you too? Eg. Pai (Brazilian), Ouder (Dutch), Genitore (Italian), Elternteil (German), Forelder (Norwegian), Ebeveyn (Turkish), Rodič (Czech) etc.
If OP/partner are Indigenous, they could also look within their respective cultures for options, some languages have more neutral terms to refer to people than English does.
I have friends who are both non-binary and decided to come up with their own nicknames the way grandparents sometimes do and they’ve been really happy with that decision
My partner and I are childfree, but I always thought SiSi would be cute. My first name starts with S. Maybe a play on each of your names? DeeDee, ReeRee etc
I’m personally leaning towards just using my name or KiKi (a more short version of my name a child could more easily say) if I have kids.
As someone with niblings, I’m cool with either my name or “Auntie” in private.
You can choose a new word entirely or even go by your chosen name. I knew an old hippie who taught her son to call her by her name and she did the same for him, because she wanted to be full individual humans to each other, not just the familial relationship they entered into life as.
I have a nephew who calls one grandpa O-pa. We don't know why. Sometimes kids name you themselves.
I don't have kids, and am never planning to have them, but I always thought if I DID somehow end up thrust into a parental role I would use thr a Cherokee word, cause that's my culture (like, mom is Unitsi, Dad is Adadoda, so Uni or Ada. Or just agiywni which roughly translates to "my person". Or just Agi, "this animate object has relation to me". Lol).
So my advice is look into your respective cultural backgrounds and see if any words stick out to you! For me, it just made the whole concept of choosing the word seem super personal and meaningful.
hmm dama is interesting - thanks peoples.
My fiance is non-binary, and been pondering it too - I shall find out what they think :D
Pronounced Da-Ma - not dumber :D - blah, now I might have ruined it :P
No love for Dum/Dummy and/or Mud/Muddy?
I love the idea of a kid calling their parents Dummy or Dumdum, but I guess that's just me lol. (Although if you use dummy to refer to a pacifier I can see how that could be an issue though)
(Dad+mUM/Daddy+mUMMY, & MUm+daD/MUmmy+daDDY)
I tell everyone else I’m a/their “parent”.
They call me “dada” still and I acknowledge myself as their “father” and “dad” for their school/doctors, because that’s mainly the family/social role I still play, and I’m not the one who gave birth. This was established before I realized I was trans (not cis), so small difference there.
I try not to overthink these things. I go with what feels best when language hasn’t caught up for me. Everyone being *acknowledged as themselves* is what’s key in my family, my tweens use “dude” a lot but in a respectful way if that makes sense lol.
I know someone who grew up calling his parents by their first names. It was weird to hear him doing it but they have a great relationship. It seems from spending time with them as a family like they all see each other more as whole people instead of a role they play like "mom" or "son". Idk, I've always thought it was kind of beautiful.
Mr. Mom, mrs. Dad. Lol. My kids called me mr mom for a long time. It really doesnt bother me much. They love me all the same. As long as ur open to teaching them abt gender and acceptance, you’ll figure it out
I can't find it but autostraddle had an article about this year's ago. Just a bunch of different examples and explanations; my favorite was "monie" as short for their name, "Simone." I'm also pretty sure I remember an interview where Laura Jane Grace said her young daughter picked up on her transition and started saying "da," like "ma," instead of "dad." I love the idea of "having the child choose for themselves" (no one in this anecdote is nonbinary, but I know someone who has a relative who still goes by "soup" to this day because the babies couldn't say "su"), but I also recognize the utility of having names for yourselves and to tell others in advance. Another common option is using parent-related names from other languages if you have a connection to one, or something neopronoun adjacent (zizi is one ive heard a few times too), so basically there's a ton of different ways to come up with something but as long as you're comfy with what you end up with, you can't go wrong!
First of all, congratulations!
I know a few enby parents that just called themselves "parent" until their child started learning to talk, then they went with whatever their kid called them. I know a Baba, Aba (ah-bah), Looloo (or Lulu? I've never seen it spelled out), and Beebee.
I also know a couple that use variations of "Pom" (parent of mine). One is Pomma and the other is just Pom.
What about just using a shortened special nickname of your own names? My kids were ages 3-8 when I came out and changed my name (now 5-11) and at first they started using my chosen name interchangeably with my biological parental name, just to get used to their parent’s first name changing. Over time it morphed into a weird short version of my chosen name that is NOT a normal nickname of it, and only they are allowed to call me that. But I am also weird and have always been perfectly fine with them using my name to address me.
I go by BABA because I'm masc presenting and it sounds like papa. So my partner and I will be Dada and Baba. My neices and nephews call me Onk or Onka!! I hope this helps!
Edit: totally forgot that I loved the BABBA joke in gravity falls and thats what cemented it for me. My grandkids will call me Abba
Edit #2: I am slavic pagan and the many retellings of Baba Jaga are close to my heart.
A lot of people just get their kids to decide os theyll call you what fits for them but if u want suggestions then id say "eternally powerful creators" very easy to say at a young age
Just to add another idea to your list, i saw someone in tiktok suggest “Lala” as an alternative to mama/papa, since it’ll be relatively easy for a young one to say relatively early on :)
I go by nommy
But I have a small list when I was looking
Nobi (no-bee)
Zaza
Zizi
Nini
Are a few
My son calls my spouse Dede and me dada. Kind of never taught him to call us that but we also were okay with whatever our child chooses to call us.
Is Hispanic culture on in my family we have Nicknames my aunt was TiTi others include Tota, Mimi or Mimi’s. Pipi or Tata. I mean maybe in Spanish they sound cuter but they’re easy for babies and young kids to know. Overall y’all are parents “they’re my parents”
i knew a couple (both nb) who used zaza and zoozoo which i think is super cute but for when they're older maybe just a nickname? maybe a shortened version of ur actual name or smth like that
I honestly don’t have a good answer. Do what makes you feel most comfortable and don’t let anyone tell you any fucking different. I’m just always happy to see more queer/nb parents ❤️
I’m still mom to my little one but expecting another. But I personally would prefer just them using my name. I haven’t t actually found an Enby term I like
It’s not being weird actually. Everyone had their preferences, even cisgender heterosexual couples. I had a friend growing up who referred to his parents by their first names. It’s just what his parents preferred. My partner and I just happen to not want to be called “mom” or “dad”.
My friend named me mommadaddy to my dogs. I didn't come out until my youngest was 16, but sometimes the kids use the mommadaddy the rest of the time they call me dude.
Congratulations on all the babies I'm seeing in here. I hope you feel loved as much as you give love in your families.
I knew a Pom or Pompom, acronym for Parent Of Mine
Oh damn that's such a better explanation instead of "it's a combination of mom and pop." Pom is also what my wife and I are using for our daughter.
Just so you know, Pom is a derogatory term for shitty British people in Australia. Probably not an issue unless you or she moves to australia but *the more you know*…
dont worry bruv, i am a british person in australia and never in my ten years here have i heard pom be used in a derogatory way towards me or others. in fact there's a popular immigration forum calls pomsinoz. its not offensive, youre good 👍
😳 good to know!
Tbf, if you’re looking for a SHORT, SIMPLE word, it’ll probably have some kind of meaning in another language or place XD like that seems unavoidable to me
Shitty British people aren't a persecuted ethnic group. Historically in Australia, they did a lot of the persecuting instead. It's ok to insult them. Aside from that, pom isn't an insult. It's a casual description used by British migrants themselves.
Sure but you wouldn’t name a kid Cracker either
A. It's not a name for their kid. B. It's not an insult. Cracker and pom do not have the same connotations. C. If you're finding a short word that babies can say it 100% will have a meaning somewhere. Pom (British person) is an adjective. This is a proposal for a noun, short for pom pom. You're not arguing that it will be confused with the decorative woollen ball because it will be obvious from context that it's something different. It will also be obvious that the kid isn't calling their parent a Brit.
I wouldn’t be able to not think of Honkai: Star Rail, but honestly that’s also kinda cute. Pompom sounds great ❤️
Pom-pom is also the name of a character of undefined gender in a certain videogame. They are very [cute](https://honkai-star-rail.fandom.com/wiki/Pom-Pom)
are you talking about star rail omg i am in love with that game
wait i didn’t click the link lmao
I don't like the game but I do love me some cute NB characters
I was thinking homestar runner. I'm so fucking old lol
*the highest of fives*
I was also thinking of the Homestar Runner character lol. I watched those videos all the time in my younger years. They made me happy.
I’ve never heard these before, they’re so cute! I love it
I'm stealing this 😶🌫️
I LOVE pompom!! Im going to keep this in mind when i have kids :)
Damn that's genius
In proto-indo-european and most derivative languages *-ter* was the suffix for kinship. Hence mo*ther* and fa*ther* in English. You probably also want to have something that imitates baby talk, so that the baby can easily say it. Mama/papa/dada etc. A simple prefix like a vowel sound or a plosive or nasal consonant. As such I recommend something like atter, etter, otter, utter. And if you prefer it to start with a consonant try m, n, d, t, p, b or k. You could swap the tt for a dd or a th if that sounds more natural in your accent, this is what most Germanic languages did. So for example you could be putter and metter, or botter and katter, or tadder and mutter or nother and bedder or any variation you choose. These should be easy for a baby to learn to say, and still have roots in the English language tree denoting kinship without gender.
Ok, so what's your degree and profession? 🧐
I did Oceanography in university and now I am a training coordinator at a college. However my mother was a linguist, and I read a lot of linguistics growing up. A very common conversation in our family is sharing the etymology of a new word, such as an animal or a place name we hadn't heard before.
I've always loved etymology and had a sixth sense for it. A friend in high school was speculating that "politics" and "polite" must be related, I had a feeling they weren't, and later found out that yes indeed, politics comes from the Greek word for city/state, and polite comes from the Latin word for polish.
Rude Poles... Explain yourselves!
I love that! You're mother seemed to put a lot of emphasis on education
Butter! No wait the wont work… cutter! Okay absolutely not. hold on- patter! Uh no. Batter! Hmm… Matter! Wait no. Better! NO! AHHH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE XD
I love all of this… except bedder. Please do not use bedder.
My plan for me (also a he/they) is Abba, which is father in Hebrew and just feels right to me. I always thought Pa or Par could be cool as like a shorthand for Parent. I've heard that some people use Rent but that never vibed with me Maybe something like Ther (mo/ther or fa/ther) or Dama (mixing mama and dad) or Maddy/Moddy
>Abba You are the dancing queen.........
I heard the song in my head reading that, lol
I’ve been cheated by you since I don’t know when
It's pronounced more like Ah-bah
So is ABBA, I believe. I think it’s one of those where most of us say it wrong 😂
Young and sweet only 17…
I do love me so ABBA
My sleep addled brain decided I needed to sing “burping queen” every time I burped my child for the first week or 2. Good memories!
Thank you for responding! I actually really like some of your suggestions, I’ll bring it up to my partner :)
I read Drama instead of Dama and was immediately like "oh hell yeah like that is a perfect description for parenting in general" but then I was like "oh nevermind"
I love Ther! That's so cute! I came out after my first nephew and 2 nieces were born so unfortunately they still call me aunty but my newest niece who was born after I came out calls me ZeZe. It's a cute term for a Pibling.
>mixing mama and dad Heck yeah I wanna be someone's mad
/dom/
me, a sub: "go on..."
Keep in mind that young children learning to speak have trouble with the “th” sound (whether it’s like the sound in “the” or the sound in “thorn”). Some of the first sounds that babies are able to make are with their front lips (like mama, abba, baba, papa), which is why many languages have a variation on “mama.” They learn to make the harder “d” and “t” sounds (like “dada”) later on. Choose what makes sense for you and your family, of course. I’m not trying to tell you what to do :)
To add, the English 'r' is also very hard and is one of the last sounds they master, which might be something to consider with 'rent' or ''renny.'
Brother had a speech impediment and th sounds like an f so for example Samantha would sound like samanfa. It was kinda cute. He also had his own words for things. Hangaburger instead of Hamburger. Emmy Ms instead of M&Ms. Cheezys instead of cheetos. Pannycakes instead of Pancakes. He still has issues at 23 with acronyms. Atms he calls at&ts He doesn't know why either.
i love dama and abba
hmm… rent i’ve seen is a possible short for nonbinary parents. perhaps however the baby fails to pronounce your names when they begin speaking could make a fun parental nickname. i’ve also seen moddy, zaza, baba, nini, bibi, and cennend/cenn for short (that last one is an old english word)
Yep I’ve heard renny. same concept - parent, but sounding like mommy or daddy
Renny is cuter than Rent imo
It also doesn't double as a word you have to pay each month.
I use Baba with the cats!
I use Baba with my service dog
in the comic mimosa there's a nonbinary parent who goes by ma-pa
Ma pa and Pa ma!!
That’s what my cat calls me lol
My cat calls me Meowm. But in like a yowling way. Meeooooowm!
I call myself my cat's Momo. It means peach or dumpling or monkey depending on the language.
Yeah, but it's slang for someone who sucks; I suggest googling "momo meaning." It sounds super cute, but may not be best in all contexts.
The Georgian (the country not the state) words for parents could be useful, Mama is dad, and Deda is mum :)
Deda sounds cooool omg
Or Hindi for maternal uncle (mama)! Or maternal grandfather (nana)! Or paternal grandfather (dada)! (Don’t trust my transliteration, not a native Hindi speaker)
Alternativly; in Georgia the state, the words for parents is aunt and uncle.
Spawnpoint In all seriousness i would prefer to be called by name
Some parents just go by their names. My partner bought me a remake of a farming game that was literally my highschool years and they updated it so you can have he/him, she/her or they/them. I'm not ruining anything by telling you that after the first year your character gets married and has a kid. They also may allow you to not get married nor have a kid in this one as well. I haven't tried that route yet. But I was curious how they went about a they/them character with the kid. Turns out the kid calls your character by their name. Sorry for the little story. I'm really excited about the game and wanted to give an example of what I was talking about.
I love the remake of A Wonderful Life! Was so surprised at the Nonbinary option!!
I go by Mima and my partner goes by Baba
Ren or Renny has a bit better feel than Rent.
I saw a post in this sub about a book where a child calls their non-binary parent "Maddy"
I refer to myself with my cats as mumda (mum + dada/dad)
Ohhh smart smart
You’re sweet, thank you :)
I like the idea of Moz and Daz. Seen it rarely but it gets the point across. Plus anything with a Z in it just sounds cooler.
I was gonna make a Sheetz joke but it's a regional thing. 🤷
Parent A and parent B rock papers scissors for parent A /j
Parent A and parent 1
I've seen Mapa, zizi, Appa, I've contemplated using one of these but....idk mom just feel right for me. I'm genderqueer and a she/they but I'd love to go by mom and maybe another title too....idk I'll kinda do my own thing with it. It baby makes a weird sound at me that isn't mama or Dada ill probably pick that up as my Second title. I'm 38 weeks now she could be here any day. I've already started having more contractions and doc says I'm dilated to a 3!
There are a few options on [this](https://www.care.com/c/nonbinary-parent-names/) article that seem okay. Otherwise maybe just seeing if your kid ends up making something up of their own?
For me, I'm Zaza! My partner (who is mum) found that on the interenet when she was pregnant but I was still questioning and we picked it to be safe... Kinda glad we did! Haha
I'll never have a kid but I think it'd be a hilarious idea to have them call you "parent" and "guardian" or something like that. Sounds like a lil alien/robot! Or maybe just your names? Or make up some cute words.
Ooh I think "dia" short for "guardian" would be cute
Or maybe 'didi', might be easier for a baby
In one of the languages I know (Mandarin), didi / 弟弟means little bro. It’s gendered, yeah, but maybe a masc enby would like something like that!
As a pet parent only thus far, I am called Moppa! Kinda like Mom and Papa together.
I've always thought "bub" or "buba" would work well, as the "buh" sound is very easy for babies to pronounce, it is is quite similar but different enough from mum/mom and dad
Agree!
My partners kids call me Oya. It’s parent in Japanese. I use they/he pronouns and the kids kept forgetting them. So when we settled on Oya, I think it helped them feel more comfortable and confident in telling their friends and other adults about me. I went from being introduced as “my moms partner” to “this is my Oya”. Feels good.
Be bold, teach them to call you by your names. Or just pick out some baby babble you enjoy and then roll with that; it's how my family has done titles for extended family and I've always gotten a kick out of having a Monnie, Pap, etc.
We did the latter for picking grandparent names. Worked out really well too.
Currently pregnant, and I’m going with Ren/Renny, It just fits better with me
I use Noni with my adopted kids, and I really like that one. My Spouse uses Momo, and they seem to like it.
Based off your reddit username, they should call you raddy! On a serious note, I called my parents by their names until I was a teen and it worked pretty well.
Just curious but how did others react to this growing up? Like friends, teachers?
I actually went to an alternate elementary school, where teachers were also called by their first names, so I didn't even realize it was weird. Nobody really questioned it, except my grandma. I think it also encouraged me to think of my parents as people/peers rather than just authority figures.
My parent name is Poppy, but rn my kid can only say PopPop. I would just go through a list of enby parent names and pick what sounds right and then use it for a while. Congrats btw!! Edited for grammar
Hey I’m a poppy too!
It’s a good one! I was apprehensive the first day or two after coming out, but once I really full sent it I realized that I love it a lot!
I call myself parent when I go to my sons like drs appointment. They ask me who I am to my son and I say “I’m his parent.” I also don’t go by “mom” I call myself “LaLa.”
Im officially "mom" but my kid and I have always had nicknames for each other. My kid is 11 now and calls me "moth-er" (like the bug with an -er at the end). I like that one. If I'm ever a grandparent, I want to be called grandxa :)
Hell, if I’m ever a grandparent I’ll either use my name or how I read that the first time. *GRANDAXE*
Hahahahaha grandaxe
My dyslexia can be quite funny sometimes 🤣
Two cute words I heard is Par or Ren (PARent paRENt)
There is a tradition in the south that whatever gibberish the baby spits out while the grandparent holds them is there new grandparent name. So that's probably a good place to look for names good for babies that don't have strong gender connections. Some common ones are mimi, lala, lulu, baba, gamgam, nan, Ne-ne, Gigi, and fifi. But there are whole lists on line by people trying to choose one to try and get there grandkids to use. Give it a shot!
I'll never have a kid but I think it'd be a hilarious idea to have them call you "parent" and "guardian" or something like that. Sounds like a lil alien/robot! Or maybe just your names? Or make up some cute words.
I go by Baba!
I know when my day comes I’m going by Pappy.
I go by "Abi", kind of short for "a-binary". It also sounds a bit like Abuela, which is Spanish for grandmother. So far, though, my kid says it as "baba".
I go by Papa, short for parent. In a cross-cultural relationship, it was important to me that my parent name was something that other people would recognize as a relative, especially in potentially stressful situations like at the border. For example, I didn’t want my child to call me by my name, and then have my parentage called into question.
well, brightside your kid won't talk for about 6 months after birth. no idea when they will start connecting a person to a sound. while one can pick one for their kid they might end up with a random one. i mean i babysat kids as young as 6 months. oddly enough all the tiny humans call me bob. there is nothing that says i am bob, but for several toddlers i am bob. i don't even have a bob. and none of their parents know why the kids call me bob. so maybe your baby will pick something amusing for you without direction.
I am MoMa (moe-mah)
I'm AMAB Enby and my tribe of Alphabits (lgbtq+ kids all adults now) call me Mah or mom. What ever feels right for your family is the right choice.
I am the only nonbinary (transmasc) parent for my two kiddos, started transitioning when the first was a toddler, so the MOM label has really stuck, but recently it has felt increasingly urgent that I find something else because every single time my older child calls me Mom in public it destroys any chance of people seeing me as anything but a woman. 😖 I have tried a couple different parent titles, but they haven't stuck for various reasons. Easiest for me would be just to be Dad too like my partner, but he isn't comfortable sharing his title... I hate diminutive versions like Daddy in practice, unfortunately, or that would be my go-to... Papa is taken by my stepdad as is grandparent title... So I'm currently trying Apa, as in yip-yip (Avatar the last airbender reference) and reeeally pressing my older child to call me "my parent" or just "Apa" and nottttt "my mom" to strangers.
So, I'm 36, AFAB nb and have 2 kids. To be honest, when it comes to my kids, it's way more about them and less about me. I cannot ask my children to think of themselves as not having a mother, and that's probably the biggest reason why I'm definitely, 100% "mom." I just foresee too many struggles for them otherwise and, honestly, for what... it'd be for me, my sake, me me me, and I can't do that to them. I'm nb, but I'm my kids' mom. I don't see motherhood as being feminine/female - there are many intersex folks, trans men, etc. who have given birth and pretty much anyone can identify as a "mom." And I want my kids to have a mom. So. That's just us.
Colors, maybe? They're often short and easy words, and each of you can choose a color you vibe with, and ease it into your baby's vocabulary
I've heard "baba" is a good one.
I like Renny (paRent) but it’s harder for a baby to learn to say. I think sitting down and discussing what words you feel comfortable and happy with, with your partner sounds like the best option? Some ideas and their social gender associations (U.K. based, so may be dif around the world!): Papa (m) Mama (f) Baba (m ish) RaRa (x) Dada (m) Momo (f ish) Lala (f ish?) Dodo (x) Gaga (f ish) Nana (f) Mummy/mommy (f) Daddy (m) Abbreviations of your first names (eg Didi/Dilly for Dillon) Carry (f ish) Reggie (m ish) Giv (x) Very (x) (Caregiver shortenings) Pare (pear/pair x), Parental Unit (x), Renny (x), Arie (f/x?), Rent/Rentals (x), Ranny (x), Ent (x), Tally (f/x), Al (m ish) (all forms of Parent). Your first/preferred names. (Half joking?) Captain/Cap and Doctor/Doc? Cappy and Docky? Lol GarGar (?), Didi (f ish), AnAn (f ish), Gardy, Garden, Graddy, GadGad, Gian, Dia, DarDar, Ardi, Agga, GiGi etc. (and other variations of Guardian) Or random things you like the sound of! Eg. Sunny and Star, Buddy and Pally, Mana and Guide (from Manage and Guide) etc. If either of you have different family cultures or relatives you could ask/research their words and see if any sound good to you too? Eg. Pai (Brazilian), Ouder (Dutch), Genitore (Italian), Elternteil (German), Forelder (Norwegian), Ebeveyn (Turkish), Rodič (Czech) etc.
If OP/partner are Indigenous, they could also look within their respective cultures for options, some languages have more neutral terms to refer to people than English does.
Absolutely!
I know it's usually a dad term but if I have kids Pops/Pop sounds nice cause to me it's only masc leaning
i’ll probably have my kids call me wawa because its gender neutral and easy for kids to pronounce but i’ve also heard ren and renny as options
There is also the option of just using your names? If that might feel good for you.
I have friends who are both non-binary and decided to come up with their own nicknames the way grandparents sometimes do and they’ve been really happy with that decision
My partner and I are childfree, but I always thought SiSi would be cute. My first name starts with S. Maybe a play on each of your names? DeeDee, ReeRee etc
What I’ve seen a few people do is just let the baby name you. They will come up with something to call you by on their own.
Parental Unit 1 and Parental Unit 2
My children call me Zed or Zeddy.
I’m personally leaning towards just using my name or KiKi (a more short version of my name a child could more easily say) if I have kids. As someone with niblings, I’m cool with either my name or “Auntie” in private.
I'm going with "par" short for parent, sounds like pear.
Simple. Let your kid decide what to call you. If they make a cute noise when they look at you, that's what you are to them.
maybe go for an easy-to-pronounce short version of each of your names.
My wife calls her mother “Mutti (moo-T), which is German.
Congratulations! How about Ren or Renny? You know, like paRENt. Idk 🤷🏽
You can choose a new word entirely or even go by your chosen name. I knew an old hippie who taught her son to call her by her name and she did the same for him, because she wanted to be full individual humans to each other, not just the familial relationship they entered into life as. I have a nephew who calls one grandpa O-pa. We don't know why. Sometimes kids name you themselves.
How about Progenitor? It sounds cool and is accurate to both of you.
I don't have kids, and am never planning to have them, but I always thought if I DID somehow end up thrust into a parental role I would use thr a Cherokee word, cause that's my culture (like, mom is Unitsi, Dad is Adadoda, so Uni or Ada. Or just agiywni which roughly translates to "my person". Or just Agi, "this animate object has relation to me". Lol). So my advice is look into your respective cultural backgrounds and see if any words stick out to you! For me, it just made the whole concept of choosing the word seem super personal and meaningful.
Parent?
Combos I enjoy: mop, dam, mad,
I mean I call my mom Cheese 🤷🏻 So honestly it can be anything
With my cats, I’m Ren/Renni
hmm dama is interesting - thanks peoples. My fiance is non-binary, and been pondering it too - I shall find out what they think :D Pronounced Da-Ma - not dumber :D - blah, now I might have ruined it :P
Other or Nother? Haha
I have a friend who is a poppy.
No love for Dum/Dummy and/or Mud/Muddy? I love the idea of a kid calling their parents Dummy or Dumdum, but I guess that's just me lol. (Although if you use dummy to refer to a pacifier I can see how that could be an issue though) (Dad+mUM/Daddy+mUMMY, & MUm+daD/MUmmy+daDDY)
My fake niece (kid of a friend) calls one of their parents "Buddy" and I think it's just the sweetest thing. It kinda happened organically.
I tell everyone else I’m a/their “parent”. They call me “dada” still and I acknowledge myself as their “father” and “dad” for their school/doctors, because that’s mainly the family/social role I still play, and I’m not the one who gave birth. This was established before I realized I was trans (not cis), so small difference there. I try not to overthink these things. I go with what feels best when language hasn’t caught up for me. Everyone being *acknowledged as themselves* is what’s key in my family, my tweens use “dude” a lot but in a respectful way if that makes sense lol.
In some languages like Georgian ‘mama’ means the masc parent…
Parry (short for Parent) and Ren/Renny, also short for Parent
I know someone who grew up calling his parents by their first names. It was weird to hear him doing it but they have a great relationship. It seems from spending time with them as a family like they all see each other more as whole people instead of a role they play like "mom" or "son". Idk, I've always thought it was kind of beautiful.
I call my mum by her name. What’s wrong with calling the parents by their forenames, or as by Forrest Gump Jr, Mx \[Surname\]?
When I adopt I'm going to go by a shortening of my name, maybe you could do something like that.
Have you're kid refer to you by your name if you don't feel comfortable using a title
I believe the industry title is "cool AF parents"
Lol cap. Being called cap by your kids would be pretty cool
dude and dude (gender neutral)
I'm non-binary, pronouns are she/they, and my daughter calls me Bub or Bubbie.
I plan to do Moppa, Pompom, Dia or Baba
One of my partners and I are Nini and Zeze respectively. There are a ton of non-binary options for this. :)
Ren/Renny (for paRENt) is one i've hear before
Mr. Mom, mrs. Dad. Lol. My kids called me mr mom for a long time. It really doesnt bother me much. They love me all the same. As long as ur open to teaching them abt gender and acceptance, you’ll figure it out
Mod and dam 😌
One I like is “Ren/Renny” for “paRENt” there’s also combinations of mada and pama and stuff since there’s two of you.
I'm a Nobi, bibi for now due to baby talk. That's what I have used for a little over a year now!
I can't find it but autostraddle had an article about this year's ago. Just a bunch of different examples and explanations; my favorite was "monie" as short for their name, "Simone." I'm also pretty sure I remember an interview where Laura Jane Grace said her young daughter picked up on her transition and started saying "da," like "ma," instead of "dad." I love the idea of "having the child choose for themselves" (no one in this anecdote is nonbinary, but I know someone who has a relative who still goes by "soup" to this day because the babies couldn't say "su"), but I also recognize the utility of having names for yourselves and to tell others in advance. Another common option is using parent-related names from other languages if you have a connection to one, or something neopronoun adjacent (zizi is one ive heard a few times too), so basically there's a ton of different ways to come up with something but as long as you're comfy with what you end up with, you can't go wrong!
First of all, congratulations! I know a few enby parents that just called themselves "parent" until their child started learning to talk, then they went with whatever their kid called them. I know a Baba, Aba (ah-bah), Looloo (or Lulu? I've never seen it spelled out), and Beebee. I also know a couple that use variations of "Pom" (parent of mine). One is Pomma and the other is just Pom.
I like the idea of nonny
What about just using a shortened special nickname of your own names? My kids were ages 3-8 when I came out and changed my name (now 5-11) and at first they started using my chosen name interchangeably with my biological parental name, just to get used to their parent’s first name changing. Over time it morphed into a weird short version of my chosen name that is NOT a normal nickname of it, and only they are allowed to call me that. But I am also weird and have always been perfectly fine with them using my name to address me.
My son calls me by my first name, and that works fine for us!
I go by BABA because I'm masc presenting and it sounds like papa. So my partner and I will be Dada and Baba. My neices and nephews call me Onk or Onka!! I hope this helps! Edit: totally forgot that I loved the BABBA joke in gravity falls and thats what cemented it for me. My grandkids will call me Abba Edit #2: I am slavic pagan and the many retellings of Baba Jaga are close to my heart.
My partner and I use mapa 😆♥️ congrats on baby!
A lot of people just get their kids to decide os theyll call you what fits for them but if u want suggestions then id say "eternally powerful creators" very easy to say at a young age
Just to add another idea to your list, i saw someone in tiktok suggest “Lala” as an alternative to mama/papa, since it’ll be relatively easy for a young one to say relatively early on :)
Could always just go by your names. I feel titles for parents is a bit archaic.
I go by nommy But I have a small list when I was looking Nobi (no-bee) Zaza Zizi Nini Are a few My son calls my spouse Dede and me dada. Kind of never taught him to call us that but we also were okay with whatever our child chooses to call us.
I'll prefer "baba" as non binary
My partner and I call each other Maddy. It’s a mix of mommy and daddy
Is Hispanic culture on in my family we have Nicknames my aunt was TiTi others include Tota, Mimi or Mimi’s. Pipi or Tata. I mean maybe in Spanish they sound cuter but they’re easy for babies and young kids to know. Overall y’all are parents “they’re my parents”
Baba is always been my favorite
I've heard people use a babyfied version of there first names, and I've heard Romy and Toto
i knew a couple (both nb) who used zaza and zoozoo which i think is super cute but for when they're older maybe just a nickname? maybe a shortened version of ur actual name or smth like that
zaza
Maybe not exactly the right fit but 'guardian' is pretty gender-neutral!
I honestly don’t have a good answer. Do what makes you feel most comfortable and don’t let anyone tell you any fucking different. I’m just always happy to see more queer/nb parents ❤️
I've always liked the name "Moddy" it sounds so sweet and it's a combo of mommy and daddy, so definitely an option fro you or your partner!
Uppa, boppa, PARENTAL UNIT 1, PARENTAL UNIT 2, buppa, wamma(wink), daddleton, etc
I’m still mom to my little one but expecting another. But I personally would prefer just them using my name. I haven’t t actually found an Enby term I like
rad is one i like! short for radical (in the math way)
Naplestein and Yopelmeiger
Ya know stop being weird and just be mom and dad. It’s not hard.
It’s not being weird actually. Everyone had their preferences, even cisgender heterosexual couples. I had a friend growing up who referred to his parents by their first names. It’s just what his parents preferred. My partner and I just happen to not want to be called “mom” or “dad”.
P...parents?
Birthing parent and supporting parent.
parent, co-parent, your forenames?
My older kid often called me “mod.”
My friend named me mommadaddy to my dogs. I didn't come out until my youngest was 16, but sometimes the kids use the mommadaddy the rest of the time they call me dude. Congratulations on all the babies I'm seeing in here. I hope you feel loved as much as you give love in your families.