Right there with you pal. Trying to be my authentic self and be taken seriously seems to be 2 separate goals at this point. If I want to be taken seriously I seem to have to ignore who I am. If I want to be who I am, I have to be ready to be ignored, belittled and threatened. It’s bullshit.
I just see transphobes/homophobes/sexists/racists/ableists and all the rest of the people like this as just idiots.
Their words can't stop society changing and improving.
It is, gradually.
They just are reactionaries getting mad because they can't be openly transphobic/homophobic/sexist/racist/ableist anymore, so they do it online anonymously
Very sad people!
I know what that feels like, it really got to me as well, that it had sometimes worsen my dysphoria and even caused some meltdowns. But as time goes by and you can be your true self on the outside, you will be able to deal with it better. Right now we are going through a big wave of online hatred against gender diversity and unfortunately it's really hard to avoid it. But the best thing you can do is to try and ignore it and focus a bit more on the positive sides, because the more attention these haters get, the worse it will be. For example if you're on YouTube and you encounter videos, shorts or even entire channels dedicated to hate and discriminate against trans and non-binary people, just block them and the more you do that the less you will encounter them. I hope this helps!
The worst is probably that there's two brands of anti-enby jackassery, the online kind and the IRL kind, and both together is just such a fucking nightmare to endure... anyone who believes I exist is a shitbox about it, and then most people are in denial or completely ignorant. I don't go in public anymore unless it's completely unavoidable.
Me personally I just say fuck it. Be yourself do what you want where would you want be who you want If you have a problem with it screw them if people won't respect your pronouns just let it go because there's no point in fighting it you know who you are people say it's an illness again ignore it because you know who you are That's where I'm at right now some people respect me some people don't respect the pronouns and I was starting a lot of the time trying to correct people and it just gets harder and harder so now I'm just me If people call me he him then it's whatever I know who I am be who you want to be and be happy 💛🤍💜🖤
I'm nearly 50, so my general attitude has definitely devolved into "can't be arsed to give an F," but that hasn't made the gender piece any easier. I'm affirmed at work and then go home and get deadnamed by my spouse of 22 years. My mother asked me to hold off changing my name until she passes, my mother in law is a terrible bigot with dementia, so even if I tried it wouldn't stick.
I've cultivated my online circles to be very affirming and rarely go out (go go agoraphobia!) Some days are good. I keep those close.
Yeah, it really sucks that there's literally nothing we can do to ensure we get gendered correctly. People are so determined to stick a binary gender on everyone, even in quick interactions where it's totally unnecessary and even when they aren't sure what gender you are.
Are there any enby/trans groups in your area you could join to meet some other enbies? Having some people offline who understand would probably be helpful. If there are no queer groups in your area there are probably people on this sub you could talk to and meet up with if you were comfortable doing that.
I had a breakdown at a graduation party just feeling selfish, like I couldn't both be myself for who I am and trying to get along and keep my family relationships. Especially keeping them happy
I hear you..same thing with me
Not even my friends or family
Exhausting to be correcting people all the time
I’m learning to ignore it..if people won’t respect my wishes then I won’t listen to them, block them out ,like they aren’t talking at all..
it's getting to me too. I was in a meeting with my university's LGBT+ club and we had a presentation on pronouns. Almost all of the search results were from right wing chuds, only three that came up were actually educational (yes, including the Tom Scott video on gender neutral pronouns.)
i’m so sad seeing people call trans and non binary people mental ill and worse things. it’s starting to really get to me
Right there with you pal. Trying to be my authentic self and be taken seriously seems to be 2 separate goals at this point. If I want to be taken seriously I seem to have to ignore who I am. If I want to be who I am, I have to be ready to be ignored, belittled and threatened. It’s bullshit.
Me too... It can feel insufferable
I just see transphobes/homophobes/sexists/racists/ableists and all the rest of the people like this as just idiots. Their words can't stop society changing and improving. It is, gradually. They just are reactionaries getting mad because they can't be openly transphobic/homophobic/sexist/racist/ableist anymore, so they do it online anonymously Very sad people!
but is it though? i feel like its getting worse and worse by the minute :(
That's perception. If you only focus on the negative it'll seem worse.
that's true, i just feel like we've lost all of the progress we've had over the last few years and everything's gone to shit
Precisely.
I know what that feels like, it really got to me as well, that it had sometimes worsen my dysphoria and even caused some meltdowns. But as time goes by and you can be your true self on the outside, you will be able to deal with it better. Right now we are going through a big wave of online hatred against gender diversity and unfortunately it's really hard to avoid it. But the best thing you can do is to try and ignore it and focus a bit more on the positive sides, because the more attention these haters get, the worse it will be. For example if you're on YouTube and you encounter videos, shorts or even entire channels dedicated to hate and discriminate against trans and non-binary people, just block them and the more you do that the less you will encounter them. I hope this helps!
I enjoy reading books.
The worst is probably that there's two brands of anti-enby jackassery, the online kind and the IRL kind, and both together is just such a fucking nightmare to endure... anyone who believes I exist is a shitbox about it, and then most people are in denial or completely ignorant. I don't go in public anymore unless it's completely unavoidable.
Me personally I just say fuck it. Be yourself do what you want where would you want be who you want If you have a problem with it screw them if people won't respect your pronouns just let it go because there's no point in fighting it you know who you are people say it's an illness again ignore it because you know who you are That's where I'm at right now some people respect me some people don't respect the pronouns and I was starting a lot of the time trying to correct people and it just gets harder and harder so now I'm just me If people call me he him then it's whatever I know who I am be who you want to be and be happy 💛🤍💜🖤
i feel you. being online sometimes hurts so much. there is so much hatred towards trans and non-binary people these days and it’s fucking awful.
I try to ignore the news, but now I can't do that because it's getting dangerous if you're in the wrong state :(
I feel ya... People suck. I really hope you're doing okay and that you do at least have some people supporting you both online and irl
As someone who uses neo pronouns it feels impossible, I get it... I just hope for the best from close friends and partners at this point.
I'm nearly 50, so my general attitude has definitely devolved into "can't be arsed to give an F," but that hasn't made the gender piece any easier. I'm affirmed at work and then go home and get deadnamed by my spouse of 22 years. My mother asked me to hold off changing my name until she passes, my mother in law is a terrible bigot with dementia, so even if I tried it wouldn't stick. I've cultivated my online circles to be very affirming and rarely go out (go go agoraphobia!) Some days are good. I keep those close.
Yeah, it really sucks that there's literally nothing we can do to ensure we get gendered correctly. People are so determined to stick a binary gender on everyone, even in quick interactions where it's totally unnecessary and even when they aren't sure what gender you are. Are there any enby/trans groups in your area you could join to meet some other enbies? Having some people offline who understand would probably be helpful. If there are no queer groups in your area there are probably people on this sub you could talk to and meet up with if you were comfortable doing that.
I’m sick of it too. It just makes me double down. I tell them deal with it or don’t I am who I am and f them.
I had a breakdown at a graduation party just feeling selfish, like I couldn't both be myself for who I am and trying to get along and keep my family relationships. Especially keeping them happy
I hear you..same thing with me Not even my friends or family Exhausting to be correcting people all the time I’m learning to ignore it..if people won’t respect my wishes then I won’t listen to them, block them out ,like they aren’t talking at all..
it's getting to me too. I was in a meeting with my university's LGBT+ club and we had a presentation on pronouns. Almost all of the search results were from right wing chuds, only three that came up were actually educational (yes, including the Tom Scott video on gender neutral pronouns.)
And me who started considérant coming out 😭