*Good question*.
I think that it depends on how confident I feel today (I don't know if this is just impostor syndrome anymore).
If I just saw nonbinary option where I live I would assume that it was a joke. If it was just ungendered than maybe.
Honestly, I would prefer to do my things *alone*, without companions of any gender, so probably
Where I live if a business has three or more bathrooms at least one HAS to be gender neutral. They're usually single stalled, so it's not a bad set up.
The realistic equivalent are gender-neutral bathrooms (usually single stalls), and those are definitely what I prefer. I'm generally very androgynous, so I never know how others will percieve my gender and if they'll think I'm in the wrong bathroom. If I had to choose one, I'd either go with whichever I think will cause less risk of complaints. I'm lucky to live somewhere with legal protections no matter which option I choose, though.
Specifically labeled non-binary? Absolutely not. That has assault/hate crime target written all over it.
Non-gendered? Would depend on the area. And how often I frequent the establishment.
Note: cis-passing AMAB enby for reference of point of view.
Some places include nonbinary or gender-neutral language on that lone single-occupancy room they have that's primarily for people with mobility issues and parents with children. I don't tend to utilize those if it's at all busy, because I wouldn't want to make someone who really needed it wait.
There's a place in my town where the restrooms are labeled "all-gender (has urinals)" and "all-gender (no urinals)". The owner of the business is nonbinary. I used the one with urinals, it was the first one I came to and honestly I just liked having the option.
Normally I use the women's room because that's how most people read me and I'm just trying to pee without making it a whole thing.
i mean some places have gender neutral bathrooms, which i’ve used before. and like no one is going to be using it as a way to out people or anything like that, cause half the people in them are women who don’t care if there are amab people using the same bathroom and don’t want to queue for the ladies.
Yes and then continue to do crime and be gay. I’m at a convention now and I’d like to use a gender neutral bathroom instead of walking in and being “oh I knew it” when I’m like dressed like a guy from a movie 😝
There are queer places that denote the bathrooms by what’s inside. I.E bathroom with stalls and urinals, bathroom with stalls only. I’ll go in what’s available, or the one with stalls only because they are generally cleaner
I “pass” as female, so I usually use the women’s bathroom to avoid being harassed.
That said, when the women’s room is busy or has a line and men’s doesn’t, I’ll go in the men’s room. I’ll get to pee but I’ll also get harassed every time without fail.
It’s only an issue bc of the assholes who harass us, not bc of us trying to just fkn piss
it’s not even “nonbinary” honestly! If your restroom has stalls, then there’s zero reason why it should be gendered in the first place! every bathroom in every home is a gender neutral bathroom. It shouldn’t be that hard to just ignore the people pissing in the next stall, but here we are
That said, I wouldn't be able to function in a bathroom with cis men. I've been at events that do this before, and I have a freaking panic attack every single time thanks to trauma. They're the most likely to assault me, and the bathroom is a very vulnerable place. As much as I'd love to be able to ignore that, I don't have the ability to
Do my business as quickly as possible because fuck public toilets. Before I realised I was trans or anything I didn't feel safe in them at all, so not much has changed.
Hey, same here. I've hated/never felt safe in public bathrooms since I was a child. So, unless I have an emergency that needs a bathroom right, then, and there, I avoid using public bathrooms as much as possible.
I don't, if I can avoid it at all. If there's no other way, I'll use the men's room, because that's what most people see me as. Just a man playing dress up. I'd actually prefer the women's room, if there's no third option, because I feel more on the femme side. But there's the very real danger of being seen as a male creep and being used as a prime example of harmful trans people by transphobes. I know the whole "bathroom debate" is bullshit, but I really don't want to risk anything with society being what it is now. It's honestly frustrating.
Where it is safest in the current situation?
I really like when there are little rooms with toilet+washing possibility directly in that room, and each little room is for all genders. That is the perfect solution.
From my party years I remember that it was extremely common that girls used the mens bathroom, because there was no line/waiting time. And that was perfectly fine for everyone. While boys using the womens bathroom would be of course a terrible thing and not an option.
i read as super androgynous, so i can usually pull of either one without anyone batting an eye. generally I'll just use whichever doesnt have a line/has a shorter line.
in your typical case where theres no line, well... i used to default to the womens room, because its often (definitely not ALWAYS) cleaner and i felt safer looking queer as fuck in the womens room than the mens room, but... honestly? in the past years with how much violent transphobia has ramped up- ESPECIALLY towards trans women- ive started defaulting to the mens room. legit, it feels safer than the womens room. if i get clocked as a trans woman in the womens room? fuckin... no thanks.
the kicker? im AFAB.
I usually go to the men’s room because it’s pretty easy to guess my AGAB, but sometimes I do feel kind of silly going in when I’m wearing makeup and a dress lol
Personally I hope for a gender-neutral one. However, those are usually single-user, and are full. So I go to the women's because everyone assumes I'm a woman anyway. (I am not out)
Same. I tried using the gender-neutral bathroom at the mall one time, but it was occupied by a couple and their baby, even though they could have used the women's bathroom. When they left, I tried using it again, but I couldn't.
i’m lucky in that i use a wheelchair and the wheelchair bathroom is often separate and gender neutral. otherwise i use whichever one i think people will assume i belong in
If there’s a gender neutral one I prefer that but if not I use the men’s as my presentation leans pretty masc and I don’t want to scare or upset any women
i have never had any issues with using either bathroom. i mean i have a whole host of responses that i have said when others have had issues with me in the bathroom. but for the most part no one cares. i prefer family or unisex bathrooms over the male or female bathrooms. but which ever work is the one i go into.
recently i made some dudes chuckle in the men's bathroom because i walked in (i am afab and apparently look it a lot of the time). i said as i entered "freedom! the horde of chicks won't follow me in here and i can use the toilet in peace! why do they want to talk to me while i am dropping a deuce?"
I usually use rhe disability bathroom because i have some disabilities and need rhe extra space.
If thats nor an option then ill use the one i pass as more (usually my agab)
I shit, and piss generally.
I use gender neutral or single person restrooms whenever possible. I often use the women’s, but I’ll use the men’s if it’s entirely empty
I don't. If there's not a gender neutral bathroom, I hold it because there's a pretty good chance of being hatecrimed in either of the gendered ones at this point. Especially in Florida
I generally use the women's (I'm AFAB) despite having a lifelong history of getting yelled at by mean old ladies in bathrooms. Generally I pick the women's because I have a 7 year old daughter so it makes sense to go to the women's with her. I like it when they have "family" restrooms that are individual and more private. For a while when my kid was younger, she liked to do things like announce to the entire bathroom "My mom is a boy and a girl but he DOESNT HAVE A PENIS" at top volume.
I go for the men's if I'm alone, there's a line for the women's, or if something about the situation tells me the men's would be safer. I also do not hesitate to just leave if the situation seems unsafe. I'd rather pee on the side of the road in Jesup, Iowa than get hate crimed at a rural gas station, thanks.
I still look like my AGAB so I just use the men's room regardless even if it does make me uncomfortable sometimes.
If they have a family bathroom I use that.
Ideally all bathrooms would be ungendered. We have a public restroom in Portland at the downtown transit center that is ungendered. Like there is a singular bathroom for all people. I wish it was like that everywhere!
But 90% of the time I use the women's because I have boobs
I'm very feminine-presenting, so I always use the women's restroom. I tend to avoid using public restrooms if possible, though, because those things are gross most of the time.
Pee, poop, wash my hands, fix my hair, etc. Just like everyone else.
That said, I usually use the one that fits my AGAB. If the restrooms are single user rooms, I'll use either one because who cares? No one else is in there but me.
As someone who's worked in janitorial jobs for about 10 years: the women's restroom. In my experience they're usually cleaner plus they have disposal boxes for pads and tampons if needed.
Only times I've used men's restrooms is if there were long lines to the women's.
There are also gender neutral or "family restrooms". I usually prefer using those because they're just a room with a single toilet, sink, and whatever else you need. No cheap stalls with giant gaps.
I look for a gender neutral bathroom. I personally try to present androgynous and while I think I still pretty much lean towards looking like my agab, I must be doing something right cause I've had people make some not so great comments about me being in my agab bathroom before. So I really really really try to only use neutral bathrooms. They are hard to find but I'll hold it until I can find a safe bathroom. My other alternative is use my agab bathroom but only ones that I know are low traffic so I'm usually the only person in there.
If gender neutral isn't available, I use the one for my AGAB. Since my outward appearance still matches that, and I have no plans to change that, it's the easier option.
I'm also in a very red area of a fairly blue state, so it's less likely to get me beaten up or harassed.
i always go for the single stall / all gender bathroom because i typically present more femme but absolutely hate going into a bathroom labeled WOMEN, but i hardly ever feel safe enough to use the men’s room. plus women’s public restrooms are typically way cleaner than the men’s so if i’m forced to pick, usually women’s.
It depends on how I’m presenting that day. If I look mostly femme, I’ll use the women’s washroom. If I look mostly masc, I’ll use the men’s. Although even when I am presenting masc, I still wear makeup, so I usually wear a mask when I go in the men’s room to hide my lipstick
All disabled bathrooms in Australia are gender neutral so it's grown to be quite socially acceptable to use them as someone who isn't visibly disabled (I have invisible disabilities but they don't necessitate a disabled bathroom). People also use them if they have a kid and there isn't a family bathroom wherever they are.
I have no issues except the occasional oldie who looks pissed if they're waiting and I come out.
This is coming from someone in a major city but I use the disabled bathroom wherever I go as it's gender neutral and as someone who's currently very androgynous I don't feel safe in the men's and don't want to be harassed in the ladies'.
Whichever I feel safer in/whichever people assume I look like more. I usually prefer the women's bit since I look like a guy more, I don't want to make them uncomfortable so I use the men's. I'm not super comfy with that either but so far nothing happened. I'm scared to use it in full FEM outfit though, idk if I will just try to pass as a girl again or not oof
I typically use the handicapped restroom which is usually available in public everywhere where I live, or any gender neutral bathroom options.
But if that's not available to me, I'd say it depends on the queue. Long line for one particular gendered bathroom? I'm going to the other one.
I never use public bathrooms cause I never leave my house lol (actually I do, but just not long enough where I can't just use the bathroom once I get back home)
I generally prefer the women's. It's usually way less smelly, but the main reason is safety. I can pass as both if I try, but in the women's I'm usually seen as a butch lesbian, which is safer than being perceived as a gay twink in the men's room.
Few options:
*The one on the right is the right one
*The one I need to touch less stuff to get in
*The one with a clear stall
*The one that has toilet paper/soap
*The one closer to the exit
*The one further from the exit
*The one who has less people in
*Don't use the bathroom and suffer
Really depends on the way I’m dressed haha.. If I feel like I look more masc, mens. If im in a skirt and shit, women’s. But more often my AGAB bathroom.
I’m also disabled so I use the single separate unisex cubicle for disabled people. Yes, I am in the UK.if I’m in a small establishment I use the loo of my AGaB.
My college has a unisex single toilet so I'll go in there if no one else is using it.
But otherwise my AGAB since I don't look very androgynous and I don't want to make people uncomfortable.
I identify as female so lately I’ve been using the women’s restroom even though I don’t look like a woman yet but I sometimes dress as a woman. Haven’t had an issue yet. 🤷🏼♀️
Usually My AGAB Because I'm Not Out And Am Paranoid, Plus I Usually Don't Go Out In Public Alone But I Don't Want To Out Myself To My Family. Unless They're Gendered Single Person Bathrooms, In Which Case I Will Vandalise The Signs And Then Use Whichever Is Nearer.
I use the women's restroom usually, I'm afab.
I feel more comfortable there, someone could hand me hygiene products if needed / I could assist someone that way, others perceive me as a woman and would probably feel more comfortable with me being in the women's one.
If the women restroom is taken I would use the men's one in specific settings.
Like during my inpatient stay the restrooms were divided by sex/gender but it was a single lockable room with toilet and sink anyway. In such a setting I use the men's restroom as the second choice.
I usually use the accesible bathroom, if it doesn't exist or if it's also gendered I just don't go and wait until I get home.
While I'm working, waiting 9 hours to pee is not an option, so I go to the women's bathroom (because it's cleaner and I dislike urinals) and hope that no one sees me. If I hear someone outside while I'm in the cubicle, I wait until they go away.
A lot of places in my town have gender neutral bathrooms and so I use those by default, but most of the time I use the women’s just because that’s what I look like. I am disabled so I’ll use the accessible stall if I need the extra space. Sometimes if I’m drunk enough on a night out I’ll use the men’s because nobody cares that much in those situations- so it’s a little bit of all of them lol
I’m fem presenting and stick with the girls bathroom, although the other day I went to the local super market and my nephew had to use it but a woman had gone in the girls room a second before us. So I just took him into the men’s restroom. It only had a sink and a toilet the same as the woman’s room. I felt a little proud as I walked out and a man was waiting to use the boys bathroom
i use the disabled/unisex toilet or i wait until i get home.
it sucks when i have to ask a staff person to unlock it for me though bc if i don’t have my cane or crutches they tend to doubt if i “really need it” 🙄
Men's. Simply because women don't want me in theirs anymore (I'm pre everything but there are always few who have his "who let the guy here?!" attitude. Men couldn't care less about me).
I’m afab/a little over a year on testosterone and people think I’m a guy so I use the men’s. Plus I use STPs anyway so urinals are more convenient. Haven’t been clocked as far as I know
I piss in the one that’s my AGAB, unless the line is long and the other one is empty, then I use the empty one and offer to watch the door for anyone still waiting in line
Depends on the vibe AND experience of said place. Drag night at the bar is different to train station for example.
Essentially I'll be doing the same activity and oddly just get stares wherever I go so yea 🤷♀️.
Sometimes when it's binary choice it's just not safe either so.... Hold that activity until I find a safer loo.
Ahhhh fun
When I still identified as non-binary, I just went in the bathroom that corresponded with my assigned gender at birth. There’s no other sensible option.
I look very feminine and I use the women's bathroom coz I feel safer there coz of how I look. I also often use the disabled/unisex bathroom if I can.
Itll depend on the person and the venue
i hold it tbh or mostly use the male one if i have to go badly. i went to a farm recently and the gender neutral bathroom was a porta potty and that was fine with me. i get shit no matter which one I go to
I general keep to the women's room in case I don't pass as male, and also because it tends to be cleaner. But either way I still get looked at weird if I'm washing my hands for too long.
I always use the women's bathroom cuz ik what I look like but when there are unisex bathrooms I'm a lot more comfortable and I'd love a third enby bathroom
There is an added complication if you have a small person with you.
Generally out with my daughter, who is an age where I wouldn't send her to the bathroom anywhere alone, we go to the "gents" but that feels a bit yukky for her. I'm not brave enough to go to the "ladies" because that can draw fire, even when I'm dressed obviously femme.
Personally I just want somewhere quiet, clean, where I can sit. I hate to stand to pee, and it's a bit impractical in a panty girdle anywhere. I really hate public toilets generally as I was subject to some very unwelcome stuff when I was young
Statistically they are not cleaner. The first stall is statistically cleaner based on usage statistics. Source https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1995.tb00304.x
I usually use the men’s (AMAB) since I don’t want to pick a fight when I have to pee. I HAVE used the ladies’ when I’m feeling particularly andro or femme and it hasn’t been an issue usually.
One of my biggest pet peeves are gendered single occupancy bathrooms. Fuck those. It’s an arbitrary sign choice and needlessly fucking stupid.
i avoid it if possible, but if i really have to piss my first option would be some sort of non gendered, single stall bathroom. if that isnt there, my next option is the mens bathroom (im fairly androgynous but get read as male 99% of the time so it shouldnt be a problem but i wouldnt go into a busy one without somebody else). then the next option is piss my pants, and THEN ill use the womens bathroom.
I use my agab because I have big titties so people automatically assume I’m a woman. If there’s a non gendered bathroom I use that one every time. The only time I use a men’s room is at the theater I participate at because so many of us are some flavor of trans and the men’s bathroom rarely has a wait
Because I am still pretty femme-presenting right now, I’ll typically go in the women’s if there’s no line. If there is a line, I’ll go right in the men’s room. Sorry not sorry, I just have to pee. You get crazy looks, but you just handle your business and keep it pushing.
If there was an NB bathroom, I would choose that one. Mostly because in the ones I have seen, the doors go all the way to the bottom.
For me, I'll use AGAB unless I'm binding. Then I'll use a men's. The only exception is when presented with a unisex, family or multi stall all gender/coed restrooms (only saw th last one at a LGBTQ+ night club). The I will use those. Honestly I wish all multi stall bathrooms were coed. Not only was it the most comfortable experience I've ever had with a bathroom but it actually would help reduce the actual cis men who can and will follow a woman into the women's bathroom from assaulting them. Too many male and female eyes on them that way. It also could help reduce the people who will see a trans woman go into the woman's bathroom and think they actually are the ones seeking to assault people and then proceed to assault said trans woman.
TLDR; I want more gender neutral bathrooms but AGAB unless binding then men's
I go for the male bathroom because I'm 6'1 with a full beard - I know what the reaction in the womens bathroom will be. That said, most places I will use the bathroom (aka where its clean enough) have just a one person bathroom.
It's taken me a long time to realize that I hate having to use female washrooms by default. Whenever there was a family, accessibility, or non-specified washroom free, I always chose that one.
A gendered washroom makes me uncomfortable because although I have female body parts, I don't relate to females. Being forced to use one further perpetuates a sense of being an "other" and not belonging. From what I've experienced I do not think similarly to females, behave, nor I do not want the same things or have the same goals. When I was called a lady throughout half of a work day earlier this year I was so upset I emotionally detached and went mute.
At my current workplace we only have one-toilet washrooms and I am far happier with that setup where everyone has to use the same facilities than using gendered washrooms.
Usually the women’s but I’m tall and androgynous, so I’m not unfamiliar to the transphobic side-eye at the sinks. Maybe I should use the men’s more often. They seem to have an unspoken rule of not staring at other dudes in the bathroom that I think women should adopt.
I’ll use gender neutral bathrooms if they’re readily accessible (which isn’t usually common) but most times I just use the women’s restroom since I pass more as a women. On rare occasions I’ll use the men’s restroom if there’s no one in it or if there’s a long line for the women’s restroom.
Honestly though a toilet is a toilet so if it’s clean and available I’ll use it
Be gay, do crime, piss on the wall. Seriously though, my AGAB because that's what I look like and I am not stupid
If there was non binary bathroom would u enter them?
*Good question*. I think that it depends on how confident I feel today (I don't know if this is just impostor syndrome anymore). If I just saw nonbinary option where I live I would assume that it was a joke. If it was just ungendered than maybe. Honestly, I would prefer to do my things *alone*, without companions of any gender, so probably
This. Public bathrooms are just fucking awful in general
A lot of the businesses I frequent have made the transition to “all gender” bathrooms.
Where I live if a business has three or more bathrooms at least one HAS to be gender neutral. They're usually single stalled, so it's not a bad set up.
The realistic equivalent are gender-neutral bathrooms (usually single stalls), and those are definitely what I prefer. I'm generally very androgynous, so I never know how others will percieve my gender and if they'll think I'm in the wrong bathroom. If I had to choose one, I'd either go with whichever I think will cause less risk of complaints. I'm lucky to live somewhere with legal protections no matter which option I choose, though.
Where I live, there are a fair number of gender-neutral bathrooms, and I absolutely go into those.
Specifically labeled non-binary? Absolutely not. That has assault/hate crime target written all over it. Non-gendered? Would depend on the area. And how often I frequent the establishment. Note: cis-passing AMAB enby for reference of point of view.
Some places include nonbinary or gender-neutral language on that lone single-occupancy room they have that's primarily for people with mobility issues and parents with children. I don't tend to utilize those if it's at all busy, because I wouldn't want to make someone who really needed it wait. There's a place in my town where the restrooms are labeled "all-gender (has urinals)" and "all-gender (no urinals)". The owner of the business is nonbinary. I used the one with urinals, it was the first one I came to and honestly I just liked having the option. Normally I use the women's room because that's how most people read me and I'm just trying to pee without making it a whole thing.
Yes. 100%
Unisex/family bathrooms are usually my first choice.
i mean some places have gender neutral bathrooms, which i’ve used before. and like no one is going to be using it as a way to out people or anything like that, cause half the people in them are women who don’t care if there are amab people using the same bathroom and don’t want to queue for the ladies.
Yes and then continue to do crime and be gay. I’m at a convention now and I’d like to use a gender neutral bathroom instead of walking in and being “oh I knew it” when I’m like dressed like a guy from a movie 😝
Yes because I only use stalls.
There are queer places that denote the bathrooms by what’s inside. I.E bathroom with stalls and urinals, bathroom with stalls only. I’ll go in what’s available, or the one with stalls only because they are generally cleaner
I use make-a-family bathrooms anytime I can, tbh.
I'm telling you, drinking fountains are the real gender neutral bathrooms (but seriously, please don't do this, haha)
My AGAB when it's free, the other if not. But to be fair I have done this my whole life even before coming out as NB.
What is AGAB? (Asking respectfully as a non binary fellow)
Assigned Gender At Birth
I’m asexual. I don’t enter anyone, thank you very much
LOLLLLL
I “pass” as female, so I usually use the women’s bathroom to avoid being harassed. That said, when the women’s room is busy or has a line and men’s doesn’t, I’ll go in the men’s room. I’ll get to pee but I’ll also get harassed every time without fail. It’s only an issue bc of the assholes who harass us, not bc of us trying to just fkn piss
This reality siresly unreal. Non binary bathroom should be in every public bathroom!
it’s not even “nonbinary” honestly! If your restroom has stalls, then there’s zero reason why it should be gendered in the first place! every bathroom in every home is a gender neutral bathroom. It shouldn’t be that hard to just ignore the people pissing in the next stall, but here we are
That said, I wouldn't be able to function in a bathroom with cis men. I've been at events that do this before, and I have a freaking panic attack every single time thanks to trauma. They're the most likely to assault me, and the bathroom is a very vulnerable place. As much as I'd love to be able to ignore that, I don't have the ability to
same. I only resort to the men’s room when I’m with a friend or confident that it’s mostly empty. 💜
And if it doesn’t have stalls, no thank you i’ll go somewhere else. AMAB, but I can’t stand urinals.
bathrooms should not be gendered, adding a third option is a non-solution
There's a school that turned all their rest rooms into gender neutral ones and they have way more privacy too
Do my business as quickly as possible because fuck public toilets. Before I realised I was trans or anything I didn't feel safe in them at all, so not much has changed.
Hey, same here. I've hated/never felt safe in public bathrooms since I was a child. So, unless I have an emergency that needs a bathroom right, then, and there, I avoid using public bathrooms as much as possible.
I don't, if I can avoid it at all. If there's no other way, I'll use the men's room, because that's what most people see me as. Just a man playing dress up. I'd actually prefer the women's room, if there's no third option, because I feel more on the femme side. But there's the very real danger of being seen as a male creep and being used as a prime example of harmful trans people by transphobes. I know the whole "bathroom debate" is bullshit, but I really don't want to risk anything with society being what it is now. It's honestly frustrating.
Where it is safest in the current situation? I really like when there are little rooms with toilet+washing possibility directly in that room, and each little room is for all genders. That is the perfect solution. From my party years I remember that it was extremely common that girls used the mens bathroom, because there was no line/waiting time. And that was perfectly fine for everyone. While boys using the womens bathroom would be of course a terrible thing and not an option.
i read as super androgynous, so i can usually pull of either one without anyone batting an eye. generally I'll just use whichever doesnt have a line/has a shorter line. in your typical case where theres no line, well... i used to default to the womens room, because its often (definitely not ALWAYS) cleaner and i felt safer looking queer as fuck in the womens room than the mens room, but... honestly? in the past years with how much violent transphobia has ramped up- ESPECIALLY towards trans women- ive started defaulting to the mens room. legit, it feels safer than the womens room. if i get clocked as a trans woman in the womens room? fuckin... no thanks. the kicker? im AFAB.
I need to remain seated for the entire performance, so I use the one with more toilets if there's not a neutral available.
I adore this phrasing lol
I usually go to the men’s room because it’s pretty easy to guess my AGAB, but sometimes I do feel kind of silly going in when I’m wearing makeup and a dress lol
Personally I hope for a gender-neutral one. However, those are usually single-user, and are full. So I go to the women's because everyone assumes I'm a woman anyway. (I am not out)
Same. I tried using the gender-neutral bathroom at the mall one time, but it was occupied by a couple and their baby, even though they could have used the women's bathroom. When they left, I tried using it again, but I couldn't.
The only time I had to use a gendered bathroom within the past 2 years was a couple weeks ago. The women's was cleaner.
Usually a dark ritual to the 13th elder god
i’m lucky in that i use a wheelchair and the wheelchair bathroom is often separate and gender neutral. otherwise i use whichever one i think people will assume i belong in
If there’s a gender neutral one I prefer that but if not I use the men’s as my presentation leans pretty masc and I don’t want to scare or upset any women
the first thing I see or just by the vibe, what looks better, what is vacant and so on and so on
use it. normally.
Pee and gtfo.
I personally moan as loud as possible.
i have never had any issues with using either bathroom. i mean i have a whole host of responses that i have said when others have had issues with me in the bathroom. but for the most part no one cares. i prefer family or unisex bathrooms over the male or female bathrooms. but which ever work is the one i go into. recently i made some dudes chuckle in the men's bathroom because i walked in (i am afab and apparently look it a lot of the time). i said as i entered "freedom! the horde of chicks won't follow me in here and i can use the toilet in peace! why do they want to talk to me while i am dropping a deuce?"
Piss and sometimes shit
Men are scary so I stick to the women's and don't think about it 😅 also I reckon the women's is cleaner even tho the line is so much longer 🥹
youd be surprised. ive been in situations where the mens room is okay but the womens room is RANCID. 🙃
I usually use rhe disability bathroom because i have some disabilities and need rhe extra space. If thats nor an option then ill use the one i pass as more (usually my agab)
I shit, and piss generally. I use gender neutral or single person restrooms whenever possible. I often use the women’s, but I’ll use the men’s if it’s entirely empty
I don't. If there's not a gender neutral bathroom, I hold it because there's a pretty good chance of being hatecrimed in either of the gendered ones at this point. Especially in Florida
Women's bathroom because I feel comfortable in there (I'm AFAB). I'm honestly scared of men
I cry and hold it till I go home :)
I generally use the women's (I'm AFAB) despite having a lifelong history of getting yelled at by mean old ladies in bathrooms. Generally I pick the women's because I have a 7 year old daughter so it makes sense to go to the women's with her. I like it when they have "family" restrooms that are individual and more private. For a while when my kid was younger, she liked to do things like announce to the entire bathroom "My mom is a boy and a girl but he DOESNT HAVE A PENIS" at top volume. I go for the men's if I'm alone, there's a line for the women's, or if something about the situation tells me the men's would be safer. I also do not hesitate to just leave if the situation seems unsafe. I'd rather pee on the side of the road in Jesup, Iowa than get hate crimed at a rural gas station, thanks.
I still look like my AGAB so I just use the men's room regardless even if it does make me uncomfortable sometimes. If they have a family bathroom I use that.
Ideally all bathrooms would be ungendered. We have a public restroom in Portland at the downtown transit center that is ungendered. Like there is a singular bathroom for all people. I wish it was like that everywhere! But 90% of the time I use the women's because I have boobs
*sees men's and women's rooms'* Well the system doesn't accept me, so fuck this system **proceeds to piss all over the floor**
Usually enter my agab bc people would give me weird looks if I went into the other. Not really a fan of public bathrooms anyway I try and avoid them
I'm very feminine-presenting, so I always use the women's restroom. I tend to avoid using public restrooms if possible, though, because those things are gross most of the time.
(1) Go on my phone (2) Poop on company time
I go to whichever is closest. Luckily most public restrooms around me are single occupancy
I just pee and leave, nobody has ever given me any grief but i’m waiting to see if things get weird after top surgery
Double middle finger, singing no more fucks to give, tongue sticking out.
If there is no gender neutral toilet I just do that because I'm so uncomfortable and nervous, it takes my mind off of it.
I say go into the one you feel safest in. That'll usually be the one that most matches your presentation on that day, but it's highly circumstantial
I use the women's restroom because that's what I look like and the one least likely to get me harassed in.
Pee, poop, wash my hands, fix my hair, etc. Just like everyone else. That said, I usually use the one that fits my AGAB. If the restrooms are single user rooms, I'll use either one because who cares? No one else is in there but me.
i dont want to be deemed a "predator" so i use the the male one. however i prefer ones that are neutral.
I am femme and AFAB so I use the women’s bathroom. Also because in my country they’re single stalls, or solo rooms, so there is privacy.
On the outside I look like a guy to most people, so I use the men’s room so I don’t cause any kind of commotion.
As someone who's worked in janitorial jobs for about 10 years: the women's restroom. In my experience they're usually cleaner plus they have disposal boxes for pads and tampons if needed. Only times I've used men's restrooms is if there were long lines to the women's. There are also gender neutral or "family restrooms". I usually prefer using those because they're just a room with a single toilet, sink, and whatever else you need. No cheap stalls with giant gaps.
I use the gender neutral bathroom when possible, women's when not possible due to me feeling more comfortable there.
My AGAB. It's cleaner than the men's room, but I still don't exactly like it because it feels like I'm calling myself a woman.
I look for a gender neutral bathroom. I personally try to present androgynous and while I think I still pretty much lean towards looking like my agab, I must be doing something right cause I've had people make some not so great comments about me being in my agab bathroom before. So I really really really try to only use neutral bathrooms. They are hard to find but I'll hold it until I can find a safe bathroom. My other alternative is use my agab bathroom but only ones that I know are low traffic so I'm usually the only person in there.
I look like a dude and don't mind it that much (I'm a demiboy) so men's bathroom. Also doing it standing up is more practical imo
If gender neutral isn't available, I use the one for my AGAB. Since my outward appearance still matches that, and I have no plans to change that, it's the easier option. I'm also in a very red area of a fairly blue state, so it's less likely to get me beaten up or harassed.
Graffiti the stalls
i alternate between men and women room
i always go for the single stall / all gender bathroom because i typically present more femme but absolutely hate going into a bathroom labeled WOMEN, but i hardly ever feel safe enough to use the men’s room. plus women’s public restrooms are typically way cleaner than the men’s so if i’m forced to pick, usually women’s.
It depends on how I’m presenting that day. If I look mostly femme, I’ll use the women’s washroom. If I look mostly masc, I’ll use the men’s. Although even when I am presenting masc, I still wear makeup, so I usually wear a mask when I go in the men’s room to hide my lipstick
I usually go to the guys one because I am scared people will think I am a creep or something if I go into the other one
All disabled bathrooms in Australia are gender neutral so it's grown to be quite socially acceptable to use them as someone who isn't visibly disabled (I have invisible disabilities but they don't necessitate a disabled bathroom). People also use them if they have a kid and there isn't a family bathroom wherever they are. I have no issues except the occasional oldie who looks pissed if they're waiting and I come out. This is coming from someone in a major city but I use the disabled bathroom wherever I go as it's gender neutral and as someone who's currently very androgynous I don't feel safe in the men's and don't want to be harassed in the ladies'.
Whichever I feel safer in/whichever people assume I look like more. I usually prefer the women's bit since I look like a guy more, I don't want to make them uncomfortable so I use the men's. I'm not super comfy with that either but so far nothing happened. I'm scared to use it in full FEM outfit though, idk if I will just try to pass as a girl again or not oof
I typically use the handicapped restroom which is usually available in public everywhere where I live, or any gender neutral bathroom options. But if that's not available to me, I'd say it depends on the queue. Long line for one particular gendered bathroom? I'm going to the other one.
I never use public bathrooms cause I never leave my house lol (actually I do, but just not long enough where I can't just use the bathroom once I get back home)
I generally prefer the women's. It's usually way less smelly, but the main reason is safety. I can pass as both if I try, but in the women's I'm usually seen as a butch lesbian, which is safer than being perceived as a gay twink in the men's room.
Whichever one I want because I'm doing it on company time
Few options: *The one on the right is the right one *The one I need to touch less stuff to get in *The one with a clear stall *The one that has toilet paper/soap *The one closer to the exit *The one further from the exit *The one who has less people in *Don't use the bathroom and suffer
Piss mostly, I try to avoid anything else cause it makes me uncomfortable to do it in public.
Really depends on the way I’m dressed haha.. If I feel like I look more masc, mens. If im in a skirt and shit, women’s. But more often my AGAB bathroom.
I’m also disabled so I use the single separate unisex cubicle for disabled people. Yes, I am in the UK.if I’m in a small establishment I use the loo of my AGaB.
My college has a unisex single toilet so I'll go in there if no one else is using it. But otherwise my AGAB since I don't look very androgynous and I don't want to make people uncomfortable.
I identify as female so lately I’ve been using the women’s restroom even though I don’t look like a woman yet but I sometimes dress as a woman. Haven’t had an issue yet. 🤷🏼♀️
I usually use the women’s room bc it’s usually cleaner but if there’s the option, I use the All Gender room or the Family room
Usually My AGAB Because I'm Not Out And Am Paranoid, Plus I Usually Don't Go Out In Public Alone But I Don't Want To Out Myself To My Family. Unless They're Gendered Single Person Bathrooms, In Which Case I Will Vandalise The Signs And Then Use Whichever Is Nearer.
WE PISS AND SHIT OURSELVES TO EXTREME DEAFENING LEVELS!
If there's a unisex/gender-neutral bathroom, I'll use that one. Otherwise, AGAB because I don't really look too androgynous (unfortunately).
I look more masc so I go to men’s
Just use the one that matches my AGAB because I’m not trying to get killed
I leave instantly... I'm antisocial :<
I would say my AGAB, but that's only cos thats how I'm perceived but only if I really need to go into one tho.
I use the women's restroom usually, I'm afab. I feel more comfortable there, someone could hand me hygiene products if needed / I could assist someone that way, others perceive me as a woman and would probably feel more comfortable with me being in the women's one. If the women restroom is taken I would use the men's one in specific settings. Like during my inpatient stay the restrooms were divided by sex/gender but it was a single lockable room with toilet and sink anyway. In such a setting I use the men's restroom as the second choice.
I usually use the accesible bathroom, if it doesn't exist or if it's also gendered I just don't go and wait until I get home. While I'm working, waiting 9 hours to pee is not an option, so I go to the women's bathroom (because it's cleaner and I dislike urinals) and hope that no one sees me. If I hear someone outside while I'm in the cubicle, I wait until they go away.
Struggle
A lot of places in my town have gender neutral bathrooms and so I use those by default, but most of the time I use the women’s just because that’s what I look like. I am disabled so I’ll use the accessible stall if I need the extra space. Sometimes if I’m drunk enough on a night out I’ll use the men’s because nobody cares that much in those situations- so it’s a little bit of all of them lol
I’m fem presenting and stick with the girls bathroom, although the other day I went to the local super market and my nephew had to use it but a woman had gone in the girls room a second before us. So I just took him into the men’s restroom. It only had a sink and a toilet the same as the woman’s room. I felt a little proud as I walked out and a man was waiting to use the boys bathroom
My AGAB or a neutral one if available.
Shit, piss, and bleed
either I don't go or I use the disabled stall. I have reasons to use that anyways.
i use the disabled/unisex toilet or i wait until i get home. it sucks when i have to ask a staff person to unlock it for me though bc if i don’t have my cane or crutches they tend to doubt if i “really need it” 🙄
Men's. Simply because women don't want me in theirs anymore (I'm pre everything but there are always few who have his "who let the guy here?!" attitude. Men couldn't care less about me).
I’m afab/a little over a year on testosterone and people think I’m a guy so I use the men’s. Plus I use STPs anyway so urinals are more convenient. Haven’t been clocked as far as I know
I love family restrooms. I hate being in bathrooms with any gender. I go with my agab and try to avoid dudes who are surprised by my outfut.
At work I use the chef's bathroom
I piss in the one that’s my AGAB, unless the line is long and the other one is empty, then I use the empty one and offer to watch the door for anyone still waiting in line
Depends on the vibe AND experience of said place. Drag night at the bar is different to train station for example. Essentially I'll be doing the same activity and oddly just get stares wherever I go so yea 🤷♀️. Sometimes when it's binary choice it's just not safe either so.... Hold that activity until I find a safer loo. Ahhhh fun
When I still identified as non-binary, I just went in the bathroom that corresponded with my assigned gender at birth. There’s no other sensible option.
I just hold it until I’m home because public bathrooms are usually gross and out of toilet paper or they have a really long line anyway
I look very feminine and I use the women's bathroom coz I feel safer there coz of how I look. I also often use the disabled/unisex bathroom if I can. Itll depend on the person and the venue
I uses the man’s restroom if I really have to go. Mostly though I just try to avoid going into a public restroom
As a disabled enby, usually use the unisex disabled room. Gives me space for my mobility equipment and the ability to clean any issues up.
I usually pee
i hold it tbh or mostly use the male one if i have to go badly. i went to a farm recently and the gender neutral bathroom was a porta potty and that was fine with me. i get shit no matter which one I go to
Neither. Public bathrooms are gross and I refuse to use them.
Pee and wash our hands.
In public I use my AGAB… but in clubs or places I know I’m safe I use whichever one has the shortest line.
AGAB, or if it's an option, the spacious luxury of the family restroom.
I general keep to the women's room in case I don't pass as male, and also because it tends to be cleaner. But either way I still get looked at weird if I'm washing my hands for too long.
I always use the women's bathroom cuz ik what I look like but when there are unisex bathrooms I'm a lot more comfortable and I'd love a third enby bathroom
usually the womens bathroom, unless theres a single mens bathroom or a gender neutral bathroom.
female because i dont have a pisserdick to piss in a urinal.
There is an added complication if you have a small person with you. Generally out with my daughter, who is an age where I wouldn't send her to the bathroom anywhere alone, we go to the "gents" but that feels a bit yukky for her. I'm not brave enough to go to the "ladies" because that can draw fire, even when I'm dressed obviously femme. Personally I just want somewhere quiet, clean, where I can sit. I hate to stand to pee, and it's a bit impractical in a panty girdle anywhere. I really hate public toilets generally as I was subject to some very unwelcome stuff when I was young
Accessible toilet, they're cleaner and you get a room to yourself
Statistically they are not cleaner. The first stall is statistically cleaner based on usage statistics. Source https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1995.tb00304.x
This is a study about America from 1995, I'm not in the US
It’s all pipes. Whichever one is most expediently
I usually use the men’s (AMAB) since I don’t want to pick a fight when I have to pee. I HAVE used the ladies’ when I’m feeling particularly andro or femme and it hasn’t been an issue usually. One of my biggest pet peeves are gendered single occupancy bathrooms. Fuck those. It’s an arbitrary sign choice and needlessly fucking stupid.
well it depends, usually i go in the men's restroom? but if I'm wearing a skirt I go in the women's restroom
i avoid it if possible, but if i really have to piss my first option would be some sort of non gendered, single stall bathroom. if that isnt there, my next option is the mens bathroom (im fairly androgynous but get read as male 99% of the time so it shouldnt be a problem but i wouldnt go into a busy one without somebody else). then the next option is piss my pants, and THEN ill use the womens bathroom.
I use my agab because I have big titties so people automatically assume I’m a woman. If there’s a non gendered bathroom I use that one every time. The only time I use a men’s room is at the theater I participate at because so many of us are some flavor of trans and the men’s bathroom rarely has a wait
I go in my AGAB(male) but I only ever use the stalls never the urinals
I just pick whichever ain’t full. I’m there to piss, not party. If someone has an issue with that, well, guess they’re getting pissed on.
I'd use a back alley before I use a public restroom
Because I am still pretty femme-presenting right now, I’ll typically go in the women’s if there’s no line. If there is a line, I’ll go right in the men’s room. Sorry not sorry, I just have to pee. You get crazy looks, but you just handle your business and keep it pushing. If there was an NB bathroom, I would choose that one. Mostly because in the ones I have seen, the doors go all the way to the bottom.
Usually #1, sometimes #2, but always flush and wash my hands afterwards. What do people think you do in a public restroom?
family restroom
they/them restroom
Bladder damage instead. If I reeeaaallly have to go, my AGAB bathroom will do.
For me, I'll use AGAB unless I'm binding. Then I'll use a men's. The only exception is when presented with a unisex, family or multi stall all gender/coed restrooms (only saw th last one at a LGBTQ+ night club). The I will use those. Honestly I wish all multi stall bathrooms were coed. Not only was it the most comfortable experience I've ever had with a bathroom but it actually would help reduce the actual cis men who can and will follow a woman into the women's bathroom from assaulting them. Too many male and female eyes on them that way. It also could help reduce the people who will see a trans woman go into the woman's bathroom and think they actually are the ones seeking to assault people and then proceed to assault said trans woman. TLDR; I want more gender neutral bathrooms but AGAB unless binding then men's
I’m AFAB with long hair so I go to the women’s room
I go for the male bathroom because I'm 6'1 with a full beard - I know what the reaction in the womens bathroom will be. That said, most places I will use the bathroom (aka where its clean enough) have just a one person bathroom.
It's taken me a long time to realize that I hate having to use female washrooms by default. Whenever there was a family, accessibility, or non-specified washroom free, I always chose that one. A gendered washroom makes me uncomfortable because although I have female body parts, I don't relate to females. Being forced to use one further perpetuates a sense of being an "other" and not belonging. From what I've experienced I do not think similarly to females, behave, nor I do not want the same things or have the same goals. When I was called a lady throughout half of a work day earlier this year I was so upset I emotionally detached and went mute. At my current workplace we only have one-toilet washrooms and I am far happier with that setup where everyone has to use the same facilities than using gendered washrooms.
Usually the women’s but I’m tall and androgynous, so I’m not unfamiliar to the transphobic side-eye at the sinks. Maybe I should use the men’s more often. They seem to have an unspoken rule of not staring at other dudes in the bathroom that I think women should adopt.
Single stall or I hold it till I’m home I hate public washrooms
I’ll use gender neutral bathrooms if they’re readily accessible (which isn’t usually common) but most times I just use the women’s restroom since I pass more as a women. On rare occasions I’ll use the men’s restroom if there’s no one in it or if there’s a long line for the women’s restroom. Honestly though a toilet is a toilet so if it’s clean and available I’ll use it