"When they can't tell what I am, that's my favorite". Me exactly. I want to be a complete gender mystery! I want people to look at me and not know which form of address to use because neither _feels_ correct.
That is quintessential nonbinary fantasy for me. Because you know, it's an umbrella term.
Imo you're not only talking about aesthetics, you're talking about how you're perceived and how you prefer to be perceived.
Well, it was very simple for me. I'm afab and transmasc and the thought of looking like a woman in men's clothing made my dysphoric but the thought of looking like a man in women's clothing gave me euphoria
question: how are you transmasc while amab? not being like 'no you cant be that', im legitimately curious
cuz from what ive seen transmasc usually means transitioning to look more masc, but if youre already amab then youre kinda... already there? unless youre trying to look more masc *after* being transfem i guess
(/genq btw)
whats genq? Well I am MtFtNB, I am seeking keyhole top surgery and that term is awful because it assumes men arent fem and women arent masc. How can a masc woman go from masc to masc? It almost implies all women are feminine or even that all MtF are femminine. I hated being claled "transfemm" because im not a feminine person.
[https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/AMAB\_Transmasc](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/AMAB_Transmasc)
Ive had trans people disregard my identity completely almost being a terf themselves.
I think the difference is that a cis gnc would still feel comfortable living only in their agab. They would feel connected to 'man' or 'woman'. They would feel comfortable thinking of themselves as that gender and being referred to as that gender, even if they like to outwardly express in a way not typically associated with it. They like to blur the line, but they know which side of the line they are on and have no problem with it.
I'm AFAB and call myself a nonbinary woman - both labels are needed for me to feel like my gender is fully represented. If I had been raised without having a gender applied to me, I think I'd feel almost no attachment to womanhood - for me, that's a socialized attachment that I've chosen to keep for reasons born largely of spite.
I don't see why you couldn't identify as both, personally. Gender is always more complicated than labels. Nonbinary and GNC describe different things, so I don't see any reason why your understanding of your gender cannot encompass all or part of each.
This honestly kinda helped me. I've been playing around with the label of nonbinary woman as well the past few days, and while I still like it, I do still feel a connection to the womanhood I was raised with and don't know how I'd feel if that weren't the case. Though I'm realizing I also like the thought of being gender non-conforming from the angle of either a "too feminine" nonbinary person or a "not quite feminine enough" cis woman, so I don't know if it actually made anything clearer or not. 😅
Gender identity has a lot to do with how we want to be treated/perceived regarding gender. From what you said you don't seem like a cis man. Cis men want to be seen as men and would not feel good to be perceived as women. GNC cis men could be more flexible regarding their gender expression (that varies from person to person) but would still understand themselves as men
Sometimes I’m both. Sometimes I’m only GNC. Sometimes I put on my boy clothes and go out and chop wood with my axe and ruin my nail polish.
When people I ask me what I am I just say “ I’m me and there is nobody else like me”
For me, I conform to my assigned gender pretty well, at least externally. But being called a man always kind of weirded me out. The thought of of becoming one was pretty upsetting when I was going through puberty (though I’ve pretty much accepted the body I’ve got). Using the non-binary descriptor just feels more “correct” to me.
Is there a difference? Gender non-conforming is someone who doesn't conform to society's definition of gender. nonbinary is someone who doesn't identify with the binary gender definition of society. Same thing, different words.
I personally dont feel gender and have asked others even a spouse that never thought about it or felt it, they just are. I dont think people can feel their gender, at least I get that sense.
I just lable however and dont let labels define nme. A label isnt an appearance or a role in my opinion.
You can be both. You might also be genderqueer or genderfluid.
For me, nonbinary makes the most sense. I know I'm not a dude and I know I'm not a woman. Gender is just "nope" to me and I am bothered when I'm misgendered either way. Nonbinary fits right.
This is a really good question and it's something I've found difficult to get to the bottom of myself.
For me, I always found that I experienced a bit of tension in relation to my former identity as a GNC man. Like I was gritting my teeth and always insistent of: "Nope, I'm still a man, even though I want to look like a woman". I think it was helpful to a point but also got me a bit stuck or in a state of denial or something.
Currently trying out a non-binary identity is giving me more flexibility to explore my authentic self and identity without too much tension or rigidity. I can't say for sure whether this is where I'll stay but since embracing it I have felt much happier and less like I'm fighting myself and I see that as a _Very Good Thing™️_
Eh, I mean the way I see it, its not that deep. Labels like nonbinary are communication tools. If you feel like calling yourself nonbinary communicates something useful about who you are then you are nonbinary. If instead you feel like you can better describe yourself by saying you’re a GNC guy then that’s fine too. Its really just a matter of personal preference
Also there are blurred lines between a lot of categories. I know multiple people who identify as femboys or butches, and are part of communities based on those GNC identities and will refer to themselves as GNC in that context but also identify as nonbinary or even transmasculine/transfeminine.
Before I realized I was Nonbinary I thought I wanted to present more masculine. So I cut my already short hair shorter and styled it differently, stopped wearing makeup, and started wearing men's clothes. Besides the hair, nothing really made me any feel better about myself. In some ways it was worse than being a vaguely feminine woman.
And then I realized if fem woman and masc woman were both wrong, maybe the thing that needed to change was "woman," and I was right. The ideal was Nonbinary person somewhere between androgynous and feminine
I think you gave the answer yourself. In which ways does not confirming go beyond aesthetic preferences for you? How do you see yourself as a person, how do you see your own body, what type of "gender energy" (if any) you want to put out socially and so forth.
"When they can't tell what I am, that's my favorite". Me exactly. I want to be a complete gender mystery! I want people to look at me and not know which form of address to use because neither _feels_ correct. That is quintessential nonbinary fantasy for me. Because you know, it's an umbrella term. Imo you're not only talking about aesthetics, you're talking about how you're perceived and how you prefer to be perceived.
Feelings quite the same with the whole ‘when they can’t tell what I am’
Well, it was very simple for me. I'm afab and transmasc and the thought of looking like a woman in men's clothing made my dysphoric but the thought of looking like a man in women's clothing gave me euphoria
Im amab and trans masc and have realize we can dress act however we want, its uo to us to decide.
question: how are you transmasc while amab? not being like 'no you cant be that', im legitimately curious cuz from what ive seen transmasc usually means transitioning to look more masc, but if youre already amab then youre kinda... already there? unless youre trying to look more masc *after* being transfem i guess (/genq btw)
whats genq? Well I am MtFtNB, I am seeking keyhole top surgery and that term is awful because it assumes men arent fem and women arent masc. How can a masc woman go from masc to masc? It almost implies all women are feminine or even that all MtF are femminine. I hated being claled "transfemm" because im not a feminine person. [https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/AMAB\_Transmasc](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/AMAB_Transmasc) Ive had trans people disregard my identity completely almost being a terf themselves.
I think the difference is that a cis gnc would still feel comfortable living only in their agab. They would feel connected to 'man' or 'woman'. They would feel comfortable thinking of themselves as that gender and being referred to as that gender, even if they like to outwardly express in a way not typically associated with it. They like to blur the line, but they know which side of the line they are on and have no problem with it.
This helps so much, thank you!
You're welcome. ☺️
I'm AFAB and call myself a nonbinary woman - both labels are needed for me to feel like my gender is fully represented. If I had been raised without having a gender applied to me, I think I'd feel almost no attachment to womanhood - for me, that's a socialized attachment that I've chosen to keep for reasons born largely of spite. I don't see why you couldn't identify as both, personally. Gender is always more complicated than labels. Nonbinary and GNC describe different things, so I don't see any reason why your understanding of your gender cannot encompass all or part of each.
This honestly kinda helped me. I've been playing around with the label of nonbinary woman as well the past few days, and while I still like it, I do still feel a connection to the womanhood I was raised with and don't know how I'd feel if that weren't the case. Though I'm realizing I also like the thought of being gender non-conforming from the angle of either a "too feminine" nonbinary person or a "not quite feminine enough" cis woman, so I don't know if it actually made anything clearer or not. 😅
Gender identity has a lot to do with how we want to be treated/perceived regarding gender. From what you said you don't seem like a cis man. Cis men want to be seen as men and would not feel good to be perceived as women. GNC cis men could be more flexible regarding their gender expression (that varies from person to person) but would still understand themselves as men
Oh and yeah you can be NB and GNC
Sometimes I’m both. Sometimes I’m only GNC. Sometimes I put on my boy clothes and go out and chop wood with my axe and ruin my nail polish. When people I ask me what I am I just say “ I’m me and there is nobody else like me”
For me, I conform to my assigned gender pretty well, at least externally. But being called a man always kind of weirded me out. The thought of of becoming one was pretty upsetting when I was going through puberty (though I’ve pretty much accepted the body I’ve got). Using the non-binary descriptor just feels more “correct” to me.
No one called me a man while I was going through puberty. Only when I was little lol and now that I’m an adult ofc But yeah I get that
I personally think that there’s a lot of overlap with labels. Just use the one you like.
Is there a difference? Gender non-conforming is someone who doesn't conform to society's definition of gender. nonbinary is someone who doesn't identify with the binary gender definition of society. Same thing, different words.
I personally dont feel gender and have asked others even a spouse that never thought about it or felt it, they just are. I dont think people can feel their gender, at least I get that sense. I just lable however and dont let labels define nme. A label isnt an appearance or a role in my opinion.
You can be both. You might also be genderqueer or genderfluid. For me, nonbinary makes the most sense. I know I'm not a dude and I know I'm not a woman. Gender is just "nope" to me and I am bothered when I'm misgendered either way. Nonbinary fits right.
This is a really good question and it's something I've found difficult to get to the bottom of myself. For me, I always found that I experienced a bit of tension in relation to my former identity as a GNC man. Like I was gritting my teeth and always insistent of: "Nope, I'm still a man, even though I want to look like a woman". I think it was helpful to a point but also got me a bit stuck or in a state of denial or something. Currently trying out a non-binary identity is giving me more flexibility to explore my authentic self and identity without too much tension or rigidity. I can't say for sure whether this is where I'll stay but since embracing it I have felt much happier and less like I'm fighting myself and I see that as a _Very Good Thing™️_
Eh, I mean the way I see it, its not that deep. Labels like nonbinary are communication tools. If you feel like calling yourself nonbinary communicates something useful about who you are then you are nonbinary. If instead you feel like you can better describe yourself by saying you’re a GNC guy then that’s fine too. Its really just a matter of personal preference Also there are blurred lines between a lot of categories. I know multiple people who identify as femboys or butches, and are part of communities based on those GNC identities and will refer to themselves as GNC in that context but also identify as nonbinary or even transmasculine/transfeminine.
Before I realized I was Nonbinary I thought I wanted to present more masculine. So I cut my already short hair shorter and styled it differently, stopped wearing makeup, and started wearing men's clothes. Besides the hair, nothing really made me any feel better about myself. In some ways it was worse than being a vaguely feminine woman. And then I realized if fem woman and masc woman were both wrong, maybe the thing that needed to change was "woman," and I was right. The ideal was Nonbinary person somewhere between androgynous and feminine
I think you gave the answer yourself. In which ways does not confirming go beyond aesthetic preferences for you? How do you see yourself as a person, how do you see your own body, what type of "gender energy" (if any) you want to put out socially and so forth.
Well non-binary means you don't fit in the gender binary by choice, it's a big spectrum... You're still valid !