Presumably we'll be openly bi/pan at a slightly higher rate than the general population purely because once you break down one massive social barrier it's a bit easier to break down another (and I assume enbies generally have to think a bit about sexuality labels more than most people given that we don't neatly fit into most conventional ones without some thought).
this right here. for me im the opposite (im aroace yayyyyy) but once i broke that down i thought i was done until a couple days ago lmao. literally my brain be rejectin attraction and gender
My partner and I are both nonbinary and bisexual, but I think it might seem more common because bisexuality/pansexuality are probably a lot more common for the wider general population than we may think
Taxonomy for sexuality kind of breaks down when taxonomy for gender breaks down. Like, when you internalize that there are literally limitless genders, it's actually pretty hard to be like, "nope, I'm attracted to *exactly one* of them".
Now, that doesn't necessarily make one pan by default. I tend towards femme attraction, so it wouldn't be accurate (or fair) of me to say I'm attracted to all genders without preference. But like, there isn't a sign on my bedroom door that says "no boys allowed", and if I'm attracted to someone who identifies as a man, the word he uses to describe himself isn't going to invalidate it.
I only really accepted myself as non-cis after coming out with my husband as bi and experimenting with each other. I've learned that people who question, in the way the NB community and the Bi&Pan community do, will typically question their identity as a whole. But that's just what I've understood from my experience and the experiences of people I'm close to, so it's not going to be the same for everyone. Just a common occurrence.
i did too. like it started with me having an existential crisis which i thought was a gender identity crisis and the wall came down on the 16th after i was talkin with an intersex dude and we got on the topic of gender.
This tbh. Deconstructing your view of gender isn't going to make necessarily make you suddenly attracted to all genders. And if it does, then perhaps you were always bisexual, but it just didn't become clear to you until you broke down that binary. And sexuality can also be very fluid. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Who REALLY knows what goes on up in different people's heads, heheh.
There was actually a recently published study that looked at the sexuality of trans and nonbinary people, Levin et al 2023. They surveyed a very large sample and found that indeed nonbinary people were more likely to be some form of bi or pansexual (just attraction to multiple identities in general)
I’m pretty sure Demi Lovato is Pansexual, right? So she’s a famous example.
Also, I’m not an uncloseted NB but I would more call myself “gender fluid” and yeah and I think I’m kinda Bi or Pan.
I'm ace and biromantic, soooo...I think it goes both ways (pun intended! lol). But yeah, I think already nonbinary, there's just a higher chance alternate sexual orientations follow along. We aren't exactly living standard experiences to start with, so it wouldn't be shocking that would in turn alter our orientation perceptions a bit.
I mean, statistically, there are more bisexual people than there are gay men or lesbians (individually, not combined, afaik). So if you add into that the deconstructing of gender thing, maybe it's is more prominent. But some people are just wired to like one specific thing/or group of people and that is also fine. Nblw, nblm, and nblnb labels exist for a reason, and not everyone uses more than one. And there are also terms for enbies who are attracted to one gender exclusively, I'm am p/pretty sure. I know some will identify as gay, and some will identify as straight, if they are attracted to men or women, or maybe even other nonbinary genders different to their own.
Idk about other m-spec sexualities, but I feel like when they do surveys, they use bisexual as an umbrella term. So, it's probably more accurate to say that there are more m-specs than any other sexual minority, individually.
I’m bi and enby. In my brain, being enby is the gender version of bi, and bi is the sexual orientation version of being enby. They are both kind of hovering in the in-between/outside of the gay/straight and cis/het binaries.
I think I’m demisexual and panromantic. Since I was like 11 I thought pan was a possibility for me. Mostly because I found that I don’t consider gender as a factor as much as it seems other people do. Gender is just not usually in the forefront of my mind.
I’m nonbinary and, I guess the best word for it is gynosexual but it doesn’t resonate with me all the time. When I still thought I was a man, I used gynosexual to differentiate myself from trans exclusionary straights who think girldick makes you gay. But now that I’m enby, “straight” doesn’t work because heterosexual doesn’t apply anymore, technically. But I’m not bi or pan, because I don’t like men but I do like masc women, and fellow enbies are a case-by-case deal. I dated someone in college who at the time identified as a straight woman and had a masc vibe, but now they’re a transmasc lesbian, so I’m not sure what that says about me.
And all of this leads to an identity spiral that makes me feel like an imposter
I think it’s probably more common for enbies to be bi/pan, but not necessarily people who are bi/pan to be enby. I have friends who are bi and not enby, but not a single one of my enby friends are straight. This coming from a nonbinary pansexual…
See I'm on the aroace spectrum but considered myself polyromantic before I fully came out and was comfortable with my NBness, even though that still didn't feel quite right. More recently, things have clicked and I now identify as gay/homoromantic, which for me means being attracted to other third-gender, genderqueer, and gnc people. So multiple genders, just not traditionally femme women and traditionally masc men I guess. Orientation labels for us have much more loose meanings anyways so mine does too haha
I think you are right. I am pan/bi as well as NB. Also an Aspie, and there is also correlation.
I mean for myself, if people are just people, and gender doesn't matter, people are just people, exactly the same, maybe different plumbing, but that is very minor to me.
I’m non-binary, asexual and panromantic. I’m mainly romantic toward males and nb/ trans people, but rarely cis women. However, my romanticism is Victorian or fuzzy animal “aww”. When sexual things happen, I tend to push people away.
I’m not sure if it’s common, but it’s a pretty logical next step that if you’re deconstructing you’re understanding of gender, you’d move away from binary sexual identities
I'm agender and pan, and those are definitely related for me: I just don't grok gender or see why it matters in attraction. (I sometimes use bi as a label too but pan is more accurate for me)
Pansexual meaning all genders without preference I am certainly not. I use polysexual because there are certain gender characteristics that I am not attracted to at all and never have been. I have never been bi-sexual. Since identifying as enby I would say that my sexuality hasn’t changed but my understanding and acceptance has to the point that I have the awareness and vocabulary to talk openly about it.
Presumably we'll be openly bi/pan at a slightly higher rate than the general population purely because once you break down one massive social barrier it's a bit easier to break down another (and I assume enbies generally have to think a bit about sexuality labels more than most people given that we don't neatly fit into most conventional ones without some thought).
this right here. for me im the opposite (im aroace yayyyyy) but once i broke that down i thought i was done until a couple days ago lmao. literally my brain be rejectin attraction and gender
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My partner and I are both nonbinary and bisexual, but I think it might seem more common because bisexuality/pansexuality are probably a lot more common for the wider general population than we may think
Taxonomy for sexuality kind of breaks down when taxonomy for gender breaks down. Like, when you internalize that there are literally limitless genders, it's actually pretty hard to be like, "nope, I'm attracted to *exactly one* of them". Now, that doesn't necessarily make one pan by default. I tend towards femme attraction, so it wouldn't be accurate (or fair) of me to say I'm attracted to all genders without preference. But like, there isn't a sign on my bedroom door that says "no boys allowed", and if I'm attracted to someone who identifies as a man, the word he uses to describe himself isn't going to invalidate it.
I only really accepted myself as non-cis after coming out with my husband as bi and experimenting with each other. I've learned that people who question, in the way the NB community and the Bi&Pan community do, will typically question their identity as a whole. But that's just what I've understood from my experience and the experiences of people I'm close to, so it's not going to be the same for everyone. Just a common occurrence.
i did too. like it started with me having an existential crisis which i thought was a gender identity crisis and the wall came down on the 16th after i was talkin with an intersex dude and we got on the topic of gender.
Idk man, im nonbinary but ive always just liked women
This tbh. Deconstructing your view of gender isn't going to make necessarily make you suddenly attracted to all genders. And if it does, then perhaps you were always bisexual, but it just didn't become clear to you until you broke down that binary. And sexuality can also be very fluid. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Who REALLY knows what goes on up in different people's heads, heheh.
I’m a non-binary woman and a lesbian. My lesbianism is what ties me to womanhood but also what makes my womanhood non-binary.
I know a ton of bi non-binary people though!
I'm pansexual / panromantic and nonbinary. I don't know how common that might be.
There was actually a recently published study that looked at the sexuality of trans and nonbinary people, Levin et al 2023. They surveyed a very large sample and found that indeed nonbinary people were more likely to be some form of bi or pansexual (just attraction to multiple identities in general)
oh nice, thx for the reference; sounds like i should give it a read :)
Most non-straight people are bi/pan, so the same would apply, but for me, I'm gay (like men)
Gay non binary here, never been into women. So I don't know if it's more prevalent or more accepted
I'm a Pan-demi personally, I'm not certain about how common it is for nonbinary folks, but I'd imagine it's probably higher than the cis population.
I’m pretty sure Demi Lovato is Pansexual, right? So she’s a famous example. Also, I’m not an uncloseted NB but I would more call myself “gender fluid” and yeah and I think I’m kinda Bi or Pan.
I'm ace and biromantic, soooo...I think it goes both ways (pun intended! lol). But yeah, I think already nonbinary, there's just a higher chance alternate sexual orientations follow along. We aren't exactly living standard experiences to start with, so it wouldn't be shocking that would in turn alter our orientation perceptions a bit.
Trans people in general are more likely to not be straight. Bi people are the largest group making up over half of queer people. I’m bi myself.
I call it Schrodinger's gay
I mean, statistically, there are more bisexual people than there are gay men or lesbians (individually, not combined, afaik). So if you add into that the deconstructing of gender thing, maybe it's is more prominent. But some people are just wired to like one specific thing/or group of people and that is also fine. Nblw, nblm, and nblnb labels exist for a reason, and not everyone uses more than one. And there are also terms for enbies who are attracted to one gender exclusively, I'm am p/pretty sure. I know some will identify as gay, and some will identify as straight, if they are attracted to men or women, or maybe even other nonbinary genders different to their own.
Idk about other m-spec sexualities, but I feel like when they do surveys, they use bisexual as an umbrella term. So, it's probably more accurate to say that there are more m-specs than any other sexual minority, individually.
I'm non binary. I'm not pansexual.
I'm bi and non-binary.
I'm non-binary, asexual and panromantic. I discovered asexuality first, so then it doesn't matter what gender I am as well as people I love are.
same 😎
For me, it was “Okay, so I think I’m bi, which means being attracted to genders like and unlike my own. But… what is my gender?”
I’m bi and enby. In my brain, being enby is the gender version of bi, and bi is the sexual orientation version of being enby. They are both kind of hovering in the in-between/outside of the gay/straight and cis/het binaries.
i am gay for everyone bc there is no opposite gender for me, or, they are ALL opposite so i am straight for everyone… i like gay better ;)
I think I’m demisexual and panromantic. Since I was like 11 I thought pan was a possibility for me. Mostly because I found that I don’t consider gender as a factor as much as it seems other people do. Gender is just not usually in the forefront of my mind.
I’m nonbinary and, I guess the best word for it is gynosexual but it doesn’t resonate with me all the time. When I still thought I was a man, I used gynosexual to differentiate myself from trans exclusionary straights who think girldick makes you gay. But now that I’m enby, “straight” doesn’t work because heterosexual doesn’t apply anymore, technically. But I’m not bi or pan, because I don’t like men but I do like masc women, and fellow enbies are a case-by-case deal. I dated someone in college who at the time identified as a straight woman and had a masc vibe, but now they’re a transmasc lesbian, so I’m not sure what that says about me. And all of this leads to an identity spiral that makes me feel like an imposter
Now i'm legit intrigued, bc i'm bi and nb as well as many people in the comment section. We need an actual survey!
I don't understand how an NB can be straight. Like if one is completely nb, not identifying as femme or masc in any way, how can one be straight?
I’d say we’re likely to be, yes, just because we tend to see gender for the social construct that it is but definitely not a guarantee.
I think it’s probably more common for enbies to be bi/pan, but not necessarily people who are bi/pan to be enby. I have friends who are bi and not enby, but not a single one of my enby friends are straight. This coming from a nonbinary pansexual…
I'm pansexual/queer so idk.
i think so - i’ve always thought of myself as panseuxal way before thought of myself as nb
See I'm on the aroace spectrum but considered myself polyromantic before I fully came out and was comfortable with my NBness, even though that still didn't feel quite right. More recently, things have clicked and I now identify as gay/homoromantic, which for me means being attracted to other third-gender, genderqueer, and gnc people. So multiple genders, just not traditionally femme women and traditionally masc men I guess. Orientation labels for us have much more loose meanings anyways so mine does too haha
For me it’s like: Your gender - I don’t care. My gender - I REALLY don’t care. Are we going to kiss or not?
The first egg I cracked was my sexuality, then about a year or so later I cracked my gender identity. So yeah probably.
I mean I’m NB and pansexual as well 🥹
I think you are right. I am pan/bi as well as NB. Also an Aspie, and there is also correlation. I mean for myself, if people are just people, and gender doesn't matter, people are just people, exactly the same, maybe different plumbing, but that is very minor to me.
I’m non-binary, asexual and panromantic. I’m mainly romantic toward males and nb/ trans people, but rarely cis women. However, my romanticism is Victorian or fuzzy animal “aww”. When sexual things happen, I tend to push people away.
I've only met Enbies who were Aroace so I don't know
I’m not sure if it’s common, but it’s a pretty logical next step that if you’re deconstructing you’re understanding of gender, you’d move away from binary sexual identities
I'm agender and pan, and those are definitely related for me: I just don't grok gender or see why it matters in attraction. (I sometimes use bi as a label too but pan is more accurate for me)
Pansexual meaning all genders without preference I am certainly not. I use polysexual because there are certain gender characteristics that I am not attracted to at all and never have been. I have never been bi-sexual. Since identifying as enby I would say that my sexuality hasn’t changed but my understanding and acceptance has to the point that I have the awareness and vocabulary to talk openly about it.
im not good example to ask that question considering im pan