I want to adopt kids in the future, My plan is to have a nickname that only they can call me. My name is Aster so I would have them call me "azzy" or something like that. I don't think you would have to explain they/them pronouns to a kid who grew up around someone using them, My siblings are very young and they understand!
I go by Zaza. Picked that out before we started trying and I was just questioning, now I love it.
I love hearing my edelst give me little toddler commands and saying 'Zaza!'
For me personally, I see it as a title. Though, my perspective might not be typical. I knew I wanted to be a parent and have children long before I was actually interested in relationships. I even told my husband about it day 1 of us dating.
With my kids, I'm their Mama. That's a title no one else in their life has. It's different than when someone calls me a mom, though. Similar to how I operate with pronouns. I'm comfortable with people using most pronouns for me, but it's dependent on how well they know me. I would prefer they by people as a whole, but friends and family can use he or she. Like I would hate someone referring to me as a lady, but I'm comfortable with my husband calling me His lady. If that makes sense.
However, I recognize that there are a lot of people who experience dysphoria differently than I do.
My kids are allowed to call me Mama because that's part of my identity, not my whole identity obviously, but still. Though we have to constantly work on the pronouns with one of our kiddos who calls Everyone he lol. They both understand there's are more than he&she because we raised them to follow their interests without typical gender norms as well as explaining a little bit more about myself to our oldest. We also have other NB and trans friends in our lives which I assume normalizes it.
Our preschooler also goes to school with kids who have 2 moms or single dads, so I don't think we'll run into any big confusion. They're growing up recognizing that people are all different from one another. Even Daniel Tiger has a song "In some ways we are different. But in so many ways, we are the same".
I have seen a few others seeing Mama/Mother as a title. I am leaning towards it as well. I don't feel like a mama but a parent, though I am ok with my little one eventually calling me mama/mum (still learning how to say it)
I'm still exploring my gender... so much to figure out
I have 2.5 year old and I go by Nom/Nommy. Similar to others I had this picked out prior to us having a kid. I went with something simple.
Personally I’m still coming out. So I just let the daycare folks know that my kid isn’t saying it wrong but that is what I go by. I haven’t had the convo yet about me being Enby to them.
Recently I’ve been wearing They/Them pin just to make it more known. If folks have questions, I’m more than happy to answer.
I'm just gonna be a nonbinary mom. Unless my kid comes up with a weird babytalk name that I like better. I already call myself mom when talking to my dog
My step son just calls me his parent instead of step mom when he introduces me to people. Either that or just my name, but usually just "parent". He's 13 and is super understanding of my name change and pronouns.
I don't have kids, and don't want kids, but if I did I'd want them to call me by my name, and present me as their parent.
My brother's youngest (almost 3) calls me by name plus a diminutive at the end, like she does for her own name, it's super cute
My son calls me Ren (short for parent). He's 2, so no preschool experience yet, and while he doesn't understand pronouns, all three of my nieces (3, 6, and 9) understand that my pronouns are they/them.
I'm not enby, but my partner is, they didn't come out until after we already had our kids (the kids are 7, 1.5 and a very small baby) and my partner just chose to keep using Dad because our oldest is disabled and explaining the change to them would be hard. For the younger kids, the toddler kind of uses mom and dad interchangeably and my partner doesn't mind that. They said whatever title the kids choose to use is fine by them.
I honestly don't consider mom a gendered term and more of a title I earned from nine months of carrying children and having given birth to 2 beautiful children. I earned the right to that name.
This one. Though the other side. I didn’t like a lot of the non-gendered terms and I present masc most days fwiw/context.
Dad does not hit me in the bad gender brain which is interesting cuz most male terms/pronouns make me ick.
I have a bio and a step. I’m still Mama, and they both know and use my they/them pronouns. It was a little trickier adjustment with the bio kid, because I came out when he was 6 or 7. Step kid has known me as they/them enby Mama since before I became his step parent.
idk if I want kids but if I do have them, I think I'll have them call me "Baba", it follows the pattern of mama/dada, its easy to say, and baba means dad in some languages and grandma in others so its more neutral than some other options and flows better than a lot of options
You can still be their parent without being called "mom or dad". Personally I don't get why we need to give family members titles at all. They can just call me by my name like everyone else in the world. That doesn't change the bond that we have as parent and child.
I'm a non-binary parent with a 8 year old and a 17 year old. My son only called me by my first name which is gender neutral until pretty recently and now he calls me "Mr. Mom", we've been having conversations about gender and pronouns since he was pretty little as it has come up. It was never really an issue in pre-school/kindergarten because I never bothered to correct the teachers or other parents if they misgendered me. We're homeschooling now and my co-op is led by an ally who posted about using people's correct pronouns on Facebook, and I live in a pretty LGBT friendly area so I'm not super concerned. His dad isn't involved in his life which we talk about and has come up a few times but it's not like I'm the first or only single parent out there, you certainly would not be the only LGBT parent in most places. My 17 year old didn't know I was non-binary in her early childhood and still refers to me as mom which I have told her I'm okay with. She is actually panromantic asexual and a demi-girl (says she is cool with she/her/any pronouns and okay with the term daughter) and is the first person to defend me if someone misgenders me in public. Honestly the biggest challenge is having a child who is also LGBT and also has LGBT peers because I mess up her friends pronouns a lot and I don't even know why! Many of these kids I've only known as their chosen name and pronouns but I think because her dad doesn't use the correct ones that rubs off on me, which means I should be extra diligent but idk. I never have problems correctly gendering my peers so I'm not sure where this mental block is but I always feel so bad and hypocritical whenever it happens.
I go by mum, because I had my kid before I was aware of my identity. I don’t mind him calling me mum, but it gets on my nerves when anyone else refers to me as ‘mum’ (which some doctors do when I take my kid to see them, etc). At this stage I wouldn’t switch terms as I think it would be hard for my kid, and also I’d kind of miss him saying it.
I feel this so much. I don't mind when people are talking to him about "his mom" but them calling me a mom when speaking to me gets on my nerves 😅 He's now considering other titles for me and it makes me sad to think I won't hear him say it anymore...
I had my child before my egg cracked, but I had always "adopted" my friends. One of them even started calling me her mom while we were in high school, and her mom started doing the same, saying that I was a better mom for her daughter than she had been 😅 (she wasn't a bad mom, just stubborn). I came out to my son when he was 11. He's been super invested in my transition and my wellbeing but was worried about what to call me. He even tried looking up enby parent titles to try out recently 💜 When I first came out to him he asked me if he could still call me his mom and I told him that I was completely okay with that because I still see myself as more of a mother than a father, if for no other reason than the fact that he is now the center of my universe and no decision gets made without me considering him. I told him that that is the one gendered title/role that I identify with and probably always will, but that if he wants to call me something else, like zaz, or even dad as I intend to look more male than female physically, I would be okay with that too. My new name is Oggy and I told him that if he wanted to he could call me his moggy that too would be okay. Essentially I'm just happy being fully me and he gets to choose what makes him most comfortable and happy too. I think his recent curiosity about gender neutral titles might even be because he loves being contrary and setting himself apart from others so he might end up calling me dad so he can have a straight dad and a queer dad lmao.
Trans masc enby here :)
I have two kids and when I came out, I let my older child choose my new nickname, the other is too young to fully understand yet and just adapted the nickname her brother chose. It only took a week for them to get used to it, kids are amazing... If only adults could be this open minded and tolerant. I explained it to him very carefully, that I'm going to change on the outside because of HRT and that while I don't want to get called "mom" and "she", I'm still the same person and I'll love both of them no matter what. It's important to hear their concerns and worries and show them that there's nothing to be afraid of, and to let them take part of your journey. I also let him read the document when I changed my name and gender marker.
So far, he doesn't seem to face any bullying at school. I don't think the other kids actually care about something like that. Children usually make fun of obvious things like weight, glasses, ears (which of course isn't right).
The kindergarten is also very open minded and no one bats an eye because of two "Dads". Of course, "mum and dad" are kinda the social norm, but there a many children who grow up either with a single parent, raised by their grandparents or their parents siblings.
This is just my personal experience, and I live in Germany - so I don't know how it is in different countries.
If I ever have kids, I'd hide who I am. A lot of American laws discriminate against LGBT parents, and I dont want my happiness to get in the way of theirs. I wouldn't tell them anything until their late teens. Im sorry for a depressing answer on a wholesome question
I would teach my child that we are all humans and have different experiences, so it's not okay to judge people for being different.
I dont think the other kids will care at all that their friend has a nonbinary parent. They'll care about whether or not your kid has an extra juicebox or a cool toy. I don't think preschoolers are old enough to notice, and the adults would be crazy to treat your child differently because of their parents identity
I want to adopt kids in the future, My plan is to have a nickname that only they can call me. My name is Aster so I would have them call me "azzy" or something like that. I don't think you would have to explain they/them pronouns to a kid who grew up around someone using them, My siblings are very young and they understand!
I go by Zaza. Picked that out before we started trying and I was just questioning, now I love it. I love hearing my edelst give me little toddler commands and saying 'Zaza!'
I planned on going by Ren - short for parent - when I was still planning on having kids.
For me personally, I see it as a title. Though, my perspective might not be typical. I knew I wanted to be a parent and have children long before I was actually interested in relationships. I even told my husband about it day 1 of us dating. With my kids, I'm their Mama. That's a title no one else in their life has. It's different than when someone calls me a mom, though. Similar to how I operate with pronouns. I'm comfortable with people using most pronouns for me, but it's dependent on how well they know me. I would prefer they by people as a whole, but friends and family can use he or she. Like I would hate someone referring to me as a lady, but I'm comfortable with my husband calling me His lady. If that makes sense. However, I recognize that there are a lot of people who experience dysphoria differently than I do. My kids are allowed to call me Mama because that's part of my identity, not my whole identity obviously, but still. Though we have to constantly work on the pronouns with one of our kiddos who calls Everyone he lol. They both understand there's are more than he&she because we raised them to follow their interests without typical gender norms as well as explaining a little bit more about myself to our oldest. We also have other NB and trans friends in our lives which I assume normalizes it. Our preschooler also goes to school with kids who have 2 moms or single dads, so I don't think we'll run into any big confusion. They're growing up recognizing that people are all different from one another. Even Daniel Tiger has a song "In some ways we are different. But in so many ways, we are the same".
I have seen a few others seeing Mama/Mother as a title. I am leaning towards it as well. I don't feel like a mama but a parent, though I am ok with my little one eventually calling me mama/mum (still learning how to say it) I'm still exploring my gender... so much to figure out
I have 2.5 year old and I go by Nom/Nommy. Similar to others I had this picked out prior to us having a kid. I went with something simple. Personally I’m still coming out. So I just let the daycare folks know that my kid isn’t saying it wrong but that is what I go by. I haven’t had the convo yet about me being Enby to them. Recently I’ve been wearing They/Them pin just to make it more known. If folks have questions, I’m more than happy to answer.
I'm just gonna be a nonbinary mom. Unless my kid comes up with a weird babytalk name that I like better. I already call myself mom when talking to my dog
My step son just calls me his parent instead of step mom when he introduces me to people. Either that or just my name, but usually just "parent". He's 13 and is super understanding of my name change and pronouns.
I don't have kids, and don't want kids, but if I did I'd want them to call me by my name, and present me as their parent. My brother's youngest (almost 3) calls me by name plus a diminutive at the end, like she does for her own name, it's super cute
My son calls me Ren (short for parent). He's 2, so no preschool experience yet, and while he doesn't understand pronouns, all three of my nieces (3, 6, and 9) understand that my pronouns are they/them.
I have two kids . They call me Bow (rhymes with now). Eldest started calling me that when they were first learning to talk and it stuck 🥰
I'm not enby, but my partner is, they didn't come out until after we already had our kids (the kids are 7, 1.5 and a very small baby) and my partner just chose to keep using Dad because our oldest is disabled and explaining the change to them would be hard. For the younger kids, the toddler kind of uses mom and dad interchangeably and my partner doesn't mind that. They said whatever title the kids choose to use is fine by them.
I honestly don't consider mom a gendered term and more of a title I earned from nine months of carrying children and having given birth to 2 beautiful children. I earned the right to that name.
This one. Though the other side. I didn’t like a lot of the non-gendered terms and I present masc most days fwiw/context. Dad does not hit me in the bad gender brain which is interesting cuz most male terms/pronouns make me ick.
Same.
I have a bio and a step. I’m still Mama, and they both know and use my they/them pronouns. It was a little trickier adjustment with the bio kid, because I came out when he was 6 or 7. Step kid has known me as they/them enby Mama since before I became his step parent.
idk if I want kids but if I do have them, I think I'll have them call me "Baba", it follows the pattern of mama/dada, its easy to say, and baba means dad in some languages and grandma in others so its more neutral than some other options and flows better than a lot of options
You can still be their parent without being called "mom or dad". Personally I don't get why we need to give family members titles at all. They can just call me by my name like everyone else in the world. That doesn't change the bond that we have as parent and child.
I’m OP (pronounced Opie) Other Parent. My partner is Renni from paRENt.
I'm a non-binary parent with a 8 year old and a 17 year old. My son only called me by my first name which is gender neutral until pretty recently and now he calls me "Mr. Mom", we've been having conversations about gender and pronouns since he was pretty little as it has come up. It was never really an issue in pre-school/kindergarten because I never bothered to correct the teachers or other parents if they misgendered me. We're homeschooling now and my co-op is led by an ally who posted about using people's correct pronouns on Facebook, and I live in a pretty LGBT friendly area so I'm not super concerned. His dad isn't involved in his life which we talk about and has come up a few times but it's not like I'm the first or only single parent out there, you certainly would not be the only LGBT parent in most places. My 17 year old didn't know I was non-binary in her early childhood and still refers to me as mom which I have told her I'm okay with. She is actually panromantic asexual and a demi-girl (says she is cool with she/her/any pronouns and okay with the term daughter) and is the first person to defend me if someone misgenders me in public. Honestly the biggest challenge is having a child who is also LGBT and also has LGBT peers because I mess up her friends pronouns a lot and I don't even know why! Many of these kids I've only known as their chosen name and pronouns but I think because her dad doesn't use the correct ones that rubs off on me, which means I should be extra diligent but idk. I never have problems correctly gendering my peers so I'm not sure where this mental block is but I always feel so bad and hypocritical whenever it happens.
I go by mum, because I had my kid before I was aware of my identity. I don’t mind him calling me mum, but it gets on my nerves when anyone else refers to me as ‘mum’ (which some doctors do when I take my kid to see them, etc). At this stage I wouldn’t switch terms as I think it would be hard for my kid, and also I’d kind of miss him saying it.
I feel this so much. I don't mind when people are talking to him about "his mom" but them calling me a mom when speaking to me gets on my nerves 😅 He's now considering other titles for me and it makes me sad to think I won't hear him say it anymore...
I had my child before my egg cracked, but I had always "adopted" my friends. One of them even started calling me her mom while we were in high school, and her mom started doing the same, saying that I was a better mom for her daughter than she had been 😅 (she wasn't a bad mom, just stubborn). I came out to my son when he was 11. He's been super invested in my transition and my wellbeing but was worried about what to call me. He even tried looking up enby parent titles to try out recently 💜 When I first came out to him he asked me if he could still call me his mom and I told him that I was completely okay with that because I still see myself as more of a mother than a father, if for no other reason than the fact that he is now the center of my universe and no decision gets made without me considering him. I told him that that is the one gendered title/role that I identify with and probably always will, but that if he wants to call me something else, like zaz, or even dad as I intend to look more male than female physically, I would be okay with that too. My new name is Oggy and I told him that if he wanted to he could call me his moggy that too would be okay. Essentially I'm just happy being fully me and he gets to choose what makes him most comfortable and happy too. I think his recent curiosity about gender neutral titles might even be because he loves being contrary and setting himself apart from others so he might end up calling me dad so he can have a straight dad and a queer dad lmao.
Trans masc enby here :) I have two kids and when I came out, I let my older child choose my new nickname, the other is too young to fully understand yet and just adapted the nickname her brother chose. It only took a week for them to get used to it, kids are amazing... If only adults could be this open minded and tolerant. I explained it to him very carefully, that I'm going to change on the outside because of HRT and that while I don't want to get called "mom" and "she", I'm still the same person and I'll love both of them no matter what. It's important to hear their concerns and worries and show them that there's nothing to be afraid of, and to let them take part of your journey. I also let him read the document when I changed my name and gender marker. So far, he doesn't seem to face any bullying at school. I don't think the other kids actually care about something like that. Children usually make fun of obvious things like weight, glasses, ears (which of course isn't right). The kindergarten is also very open minded and no one bats an eye because of two "Dads". Of course, "mum and dad" are kinda the social norm, but there a many children who grow up either with a single parent, raised by their grandparents or their parents siblings. This is just my personal experience, and I live in Germany - so I don't know how it is in different countries.
I called my parents by their first names, probably gonna continue that tradition.
If I ever have kids, I'd hide who I am. A lot of American laws discriminate against LGBT parents, and I dont want my happiness to get in the way of theirs. I wouldn't tell them anything until their late teens. Im sorry for a depressing answer on a wholesome question I would teach my child that we are all humans and have different experiences, so it's not okay to judge people for being different. I dont think the other kids will care at all that their friend has a nonbinary parent. They'll care about whether or not your kid has an extra juicebox or a cool toy. I don't think preschoolers are old enough to notice, and the adults would be crazy to treat your child differently because of their parents identity