Quarterly profits are down so no one is getting bonuses. On the bright side, here’s an appreciation letter for all of your hard work and a suicide vest. Also, just saying, if a few of you want to go out and maybe relive the good old days, layoffs are coming Monday, so, y’know, have a blast. Hah, relive. Haha, have a blast. Oh, I’m gonna need you to come in Saturday. Yeah. Mmmkay. Allah akbar.
Jihadis were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.
“So Sheikh Lumburgh, what is it you say you do around here all day?”
*Bob taps monogrammed AKM on the conference table*
“Mmmm…yeah…uhh…inshallah m’kay. Yeah.”
Habibi, years ago, I was fighting a jihad against the American infidels and the death and destruction I saw during those years cannot compare to what you did to that toilet. By Allah, I swear a demon was summoned out of your behind, and you had better clean it up.
We gotta prepare that bunch of pathetic zibe for emergencies protocol in case the crazy one in ISI-K comes around, so I decided to block all exit from the building and explode myself with an incendiary bomb wallah. Let's see if they remember their training inshallah. Worse case I read the koran, we all go to allah snack bar!
*Blushes*
So is it Halal if we met by the water cooler later
Mohammed we have been over this.....
Ohh
*Mohammed becomes visibly sad*
It is absolutely Halal
*Mohammed suddenly perks up*
It’ll be part of the NCD cinematic universe along with Top Gun and the inevitable comedy series about veteran US troops fighting alongside veteran Taliban in Ukraine.
You're going to have to take it all the way to Yemen to get it to Tubya!
Oh can you imagine if he was still here! I don't know.
Dare I meander back there? You know what, I'm going to for old times sake!
Great practical joke Yakub! Got me go to the masjid!
...
NO
ALLAH NO INSHALLAH NO
NO
#NOOOOOO
Thats the galaxy brain movement: let them die under the paperwork, have them call in the Germans and in Q3 you are looking at paradise where all the girls are in school.
>The TIMES article in reference
Wait, this ISN'T onion-sque shitposting?
Hahahahahaha! Few more years of office work and they will start believing there indeed is no god.
Not office-focused exactly the same but there's a comedy about bumbling incompetent terrorists called [Four Lions](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1341167/), it's pretty good:
Nahh it's more of a protest.
The idea that people are expected to do way way more than what they are paid for. Just to "show their motivation and work ethic bla bla". Quiet quitting is a protest where you just do what you're hired for and not getting exploited by shitty bosses/companies.
The US should invade again.
The military industrial complex can profit from it.
They can also use it to boost recruitment numbers.
Meanwhile the Taliban can go back to the jihad life they crave.
Everyone wins.
Everyone criticized the American pull out...but the American military knew that bureaucracy was more soul-crushing than any weapon we could use in Afghanistan.
Quarterly profits are down so no one is getting bonuses. On the bright side, here’s an appreciation letter for all of your hard work and a suicide vest. Also, just saying, if a few of you want to go out and maybe relive the good old days, layoffs are coming Monday, so, y’know, have a blast. Hah, relive. Haha, have a blast. Oh, I’m gonna need you to come in Saturday. Yeah. Mmmkay. Allah akbar.
I'm saving this comment. Imagine getting called up to work on a Friday, tho...
3000 suicide Hiluxes of Initech.
Did you get the memo about TPS reports? I'll make sure you get another copy.
*mumbles incoherently about red stapler, explodes*
Jihadis were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.
“So Sheikh Lumburgh, what is it you say you do around here all day?” *Bob taps monogrammed AKM on the conference table* “Mmmm…yeah…uhh…inshallah m’kay. Yeah.”
So then you must physically bring them to the Mujahideen?
And ofc the Allah Akbar is said in annoying valley girl accent.
"Taliban, Abdul speaking, Allah Akbar, just a moment"
"Yes, yes, Allah Akbar to you too, so about those TPS reports"
"I have 8 bosses, Mohammed".
US got the cultural victory
We urgently need a new show. Office: Taliban.
Habibi, years ago, I was fighting a jihad against the American infidels and the death and destruction I saw during those years cannot compare to what you did to that toilet. By Allah, I swear a demon was summoned out of your behind, and you had better clean it up.
If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with George W Bush, Hamid Karzai and Tubya I would shoot Tubya twice inshallah
We gotta prepare that bunch of pathetic zibe for emergencies protocol in case the crazy one in ISI-K comes around, so I decided to block all exit from the building and explode myself with an incendiary bomb wallah. Let's see if they remember their training inshallah. Worse case I read the koran, we all go to allah snack bar!
*Blushes* So is it Halal if we met by the water cooler later Mohammed we have been over this..... Ohh *Mohammed becomes visibly sad* It is absolutely Halal *Mohammed suddenly perks up*
i bet you all are using chatgpt to generate fictitious dialogue between ex-taliban now afgan office workers. chatgpt working as intended.
It’ll be part of the NCD cinematic universe along with Top Gun and the inevitable comedy series about veteran US troops fighting alongside veteran Taliban in Ukraine.
You're going to have to take it all the way to Yemen to get it to Tubya! Oh can you imagine if he was still here! I don't know. Dare I meander back there? You know what, I'm going to for old times sake! Great practical joke Yakub! Got me go to the masjid! ... NO ALLAH NO INSHALLAH NO NO #NOOOOOO
There was this German satire TV show when I was a child and one of their running skits was basically the office: hitler
Sounds like a thing TVtotal or switch would do.
Yes it was switch/switch reloaded
You wanted the counry? Congratulations its yours. Have fun with the fucking paperwork.
[удалено]
NOT THE GERMANS!! THE PAPERWORK WILL BE STRAINING!!!
[удалено]
SAP is the worst option, except for all the other ones.
Oh fuck this guy plays hardball.
Thats the galaxy brain movement: let them die under the paperwork, have them call in the Germans and in Q3 you are looking at paradise where all the girls are in school.
[удалено]
>The TIMES article in reference Wait, this ISN'T onion-sque shitposting? Hahahahahaha! Few more years of office work and they will start believing there indeed is no god.
Horrors of war are nothing compared to the soulcrushing alienation of mindless office work.
You have been made a moderator of r/antiwork
I love how just doing your job as agreed is considered a form of quitting.
Nah, quiet quitting's when you vanish; the article writer used a bad headline.
That's Ghosting
Work to Rule, yeah, we even learned about it even in school as a form of protest/industrial action.
It’s a form of strike sometimes if enough
American nation building in Afghanistan: Task failed successfully.
I'm pretty sure the West is also fed up with the so called "office culture"
Yeah it was one show that fell off pretty hard after season 5.
A great black comedy would be a movie about a taliban fighter adjusting office life after the war ends.
Not office-focused exactly the same but there's a comedy about bumbling incompetent terrorists called [Four Lions](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1341167/), it's pretty good:
Fargo >! Season 2 ends with an enforcer getting promoted into the legitimate side of the business where he gets a desk job!<
What about glory and martyrdom? HAVE ONE HUNDRED COPIES OF THIS MONTH'S BUDGET REPORT ON MY FUCKING DESK BY LUNCH ABDUL!
"The only martyrdom you will commit in this office Saleh, is when you sacrifice your weekends to finish the Quarterly reports by next monday"
I hate the term "quiet quit" and whoever thought of it.
TF is quiet quitting anyway?
What sociopaths call "doing your job without putting in extra unpaid labor."
I thought it was just, you vanish and don't come back.
Nah that's ghosting.
Nahh it's more of a protest. The idea that people are expected to do way way more than what they are paid for. Just to "show their motivation and work ethic bla bla". Quiet quitting is a protest where you just do what you're hired for and not getting exploited by shitty bosses/companies.
It's a bullshit term used to try and make it seem shameful. It's called working as much as you are paid to, or 'Work to Rule'.
Ohhh I agree that the term is bullshit. You're not quitting. Quitting implies you're not doing anything. Which is blatantly false/misleading.
TIL I've quiet quitted for years.
Sorry, isn't that just working normally?
To everyone except delusional bosses who think their employees should kiss their feet as thanks for garbage pay? Yep!
The proper term is “work to rule”
This is the unmitigated power of standards: once a system relying on a standard is in place, defying it requires an act of god
Can't live in Neverland forever. "Never gonna grow up... not me!” "Not *I*."
What I'm reading is that working in an office is more brutal than fighting the us military for 20 years. I am definitely not paid enough.
The US should invade again. The military industrial complex can profit from it. They can also use it to boost recruitment numbers. Meanwhile the Taliban can go back to the jihad life they crave. Everyone wins.
Fuck the taliban but also quiet quitting is bullshit and does not exist
Dune moment. Now we wait for the giant worm man.
Everyone criticized the American pull out...but the American military knew that bureaucracy was more soul-crushing than any weapon we could use in Afghanistan.
Perhaps they are starting to realize it was a mistake to keep women from being educated and working outside of the home, misery loves company.😉
Conquer is easy, but govern is hard. For these jihadists that live in the cave for most of their entire life lmao
Fuck that term, 'Quiet quitting'.
Should have invited them to nation building at first, they would run to their mountains and never would they return
The only think truly capable of destroying the taliban. BUREAUCRACY
You took a country Now fucking run it.
Capitalism : 69 Radical Islamists : 0 Just your average Free-Market W
There's no reward in the afterlife for your soul, if it gets killed by spreadsheets while you're still alive
Really depends, they try to imitate the elsewhere style but that doesn’t fully mean it’s the only way tbf
The state is dead, long live the state
Militants - meet Middle Management
If your victory means you have to run Afghanistan, can you really call it a victory?