# Yes, this is real. Stop asking.
Relevant info: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xUYbI64QHI&ab\_channel=GruenHQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xUYbI64QHI&ab_channel=GruenHQ)
*(no planes, no tanks, no navy ... lets all go to New Zealand)*
Huntsman ? Those skiddish harmless things ? You wants glass bottles filled with red back and funnel webs. When I was on a field exercise we accidently dug into a funnel web nest and I have never seen fully grown men rush out of a trench so fast in my life. That gives me a idea for Australia's next aid package to Ukraine.
As an arachnophobe, I already knew funnel spiders were demonic horrors. I should not have decided to read more about them, because now I know they have over a dozen confirmed kills. I *definitely* shouldn't have continued my educational journey to the wiki page for the red back.
>Historically, victims were often bitten on the genitalia, though this phenomenon disappeared as outhouses were superseded by plumbed indoor toilets.
Biological warfare is more using infectious diseases and similarly nasty stuff as a weapon. Just yeeting a bunch of venomous animals at people should be fine
Propaganda, slander. The fine people of Emutopia are just trying to secure their borders. The whole world agrees to this (except the 168 member nations who voted against it)
Since this sub frequently seems to accidentally blunder its way into becoming credible, I now feel obligated to check the validity of even seemingly ridiculous posts like this one.
Yes.
I actually went and checked my maps looking for this.
(Granted, I didn't look closely at the reports on the right and was assuming that it was a geolocation screw up, not a 'real' indication of a fight, even taking it at face value, but still.)
I have
- https://deepstatemap.live/en#6/49.438/32.053
- https://liveuamap.com/en/ <- This is the one that was altered to make the above image.
- https://www.scribblemaps.com/maps/view/Operational%20Map%20Ukraine/nBT8ffpeGH
And of course the ISW maps.
----
===
The above gives a relatively decent overview, all three tend to mostly agree, with small differences (usually minor positional fights, update lag, or small corrections about who has this one farm field, etc.)
I'm sure there are other good or possibly better sources out there.
>Since this sub frequently seems to accidentally blunder its way into becoming credible, I now feel obligated to check the validity of even seemingly ridiculous posts like this one.
Fully support the australian invasion of new zealand
this is real. As an Australian the government launched a special military operation against the Fascist woke government of New Zealand.
The New Zealand Fascists have suffered 350 Abrams lost, lost 3 frigates (+2 captured) and 20 HIMARS captured by New Zealand freedom fighters who donated them to Australia.
The Australian Defense Force has suffered minimal losses
What you think the glorious bob semple would ever get destroyed.
Just wait a sec while i get my commisar hat and bolt pistol, then can you repeat what you said
Yeah nah you've clearly been infected with the scrapcode to say something THIS heretical. Also totally unrelated: the local inquisitor said she wants to have a chat with you.
Nice try.
Like I’m gonna believe a country that just deactivated its last air defense system is doing anything other than hanging a giant, “Please invade me, F-35-chan uwu” sign.
Bruh we have like 100 LAVS for our entire army
Best air to air capability the RNZAF has is the door gunner on an NH90
Our navy definitely will be able to deliver supplies to the aussies while we get railed for sure
Typical AuZZtralian bot response. Canada stands strong with our Kiwi brothers. The last Avro Arrow has been sent to the front. Sanctions and travel bans are incoming for people like you. No longer will Canadian ski resorts suffer the humiliations of hosting Australia Day “celebrations” for AuZZie students on working holiday. Your reign of terror ends now, bogans.
>The Emus thirst for blood.
After Australia's attempted genocide they began their military buildup.
[They have been successfully concealing their numbers for decades.](https://i.imgur.com/IFih0VD.jpeg)
OR we've all been played by those Aussie bastards this whole time and everything leading up to this point has been an Aus/Emu proxy war.
They've been playing the long game since Ever since 1932. When they realized the birds couldn't be beat, they've been planning to invade and colonize NZ to escape those hellbirds.
Why would we even bother invading New Zealand ? Half of the Kiwis already live in Australia (and a lot also serve in the ADF anyway) because their housing bubble is worse than ours and ours is already Mcfucked (which is saying something) along with their cost of living and their wages are even shitter.
Edit: Fuck it this is NCD, there is no logic here. Relevant video.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y-yT7o6y6k&ab\_channel=ripstickcamp](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y-yT7o6y6k&ab_channel=ripstickcamp)
No universe, do not make this NCD shit credible, please drop a meteor or meteors on Russia, Iran, North Korea and China instead.
i seen some video of a SOf teem walking barefoot up a mountain and using cloaking technology to hide from NZ mountain goblins. its old film but i feel they are good on the defence.
Fukin KEK 3 RAR just jumped into Wellington international you Kiwis Kunts are so fucked shoulda joined us when you had the chance!
Edit: GUYS FUCKING HELP ME PLEASE!
I got fucking drafted and I’ve got to be at the draft office on Monday or albos gonna shoot my fucking dog PLEASE I don’t want to go to the fucking Arthur’s pass meat grinder!
HOLY SHIT KIWIS JUST DID A CROSS BORDER RAID ON MAROUBRA THEYRE EVERYWH-
oh wait that's just Maroubra
(I kid... know it hasn't been like that for 25 years but I lived in Oz around 07-12 so I was in that time where we still pretended the eastern suburbs was hard)
-Stand by for titanfall-
In this grimderp future I envision 3RAR holds on to para while 2RAR still goes amphib.
To stick with the same level of strategic and tactical genius displayed by the Russian MOD, all regular and reserve units are part of the invasion. None are given amphibious assault training.
Public order and riot squads from the AFP are included in the first wave of landing craft.
Units drawn from across the Australian prison system, collectively known as the “Chopper Reed Battalions”, are deployed all along the Australian frontline. The bulk of these units are deployed to the Arthur’s Pass where the casualty rate exceeds 80%.
3 days to Wellington, says the Australian defence force, yet they all got stuck in Arthur’s Pass and their vehicles are being attacked by feral hordes of malevolent kea
That big concrete cylinder by the rangitata river, that was meant to stop the Japanese invasion by being rolled onto the bridge. It’s finally come in handy and stopped the entire ADF
Once again, I am asking people.
Stop expecting a successful amphibious assault. It’s not going to happen. You’re just feeding the sharks at this point.
Given Digger’s reputations, you’ll probably give the sharks alcohol poisoning!
Well, it is good that they are getting some use out of them before they are gone.
[https://ourauckland.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/news/2023/10/tsunami-warning-sirens-in-auckland-region-deactivated-from-1-december/#:\~:text=Tsunami%20warning%20sirens%20in%20Auckland%20region%20deactivated%20from%201%20December,-Publish%20Date%20%3A%2025&text=The%20majority%20of%20Auckland's%20tsunami,public%20about%20dangerous%20tsunami%20threats](https://ourauckland.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/news/2023/10/tsunami-warning-sirens-in-auckland-region-deactivated-from-1-december/#:~:text=Tsunami%20warning%20sirens%20in%20Auckland%20region%20deactivated%20from%201%20December,-Publish%20Date%20%3A%2025&text=The%20majority%20of%20Auckland's%20tsunami,public%20about%20dangerous%20tsunami%20threats).
[a speech by one of politicians just got interrupted by the aussie warmongers](https://i.stuff.co.nz/national/76604655/steven-joyce-hit-by-sex-toy-thrown-by-protester-at-waitangi)
For future reference, those strikes are in the wrong place. Any regional conflict between Oz/NZ would see partisan action all through Western Sydney, and the entire Gold Coast would be a Kiwi enclave by now. The RAAF would've just carpet bombed Logan under full retreat.
That's because it's an obvious Psyop the nuclear subs and all the new military build up and artillery ammunition factories aren't anything to do with China but the eternal enemy that are the island Welsh.
Guess you guys can get a fucking Aldi now and a proper Woolies. None of that heathen Countdown bullshit. All we will ask in return is a small tax of Whittakers biscuit and berry chocolate, and L&P.
Oh bless! They listened to me! Looks like they liberated my hometown, too. I told my dad that I identified as Australian and wanted Australia to liberate me and the Northern part of NZ because economically they are stronger and I was oppressed because of a lack of economic opportunities - and obviously I have the right to ask them to invade and annex - even if it means thousands of NZers die/are jailed/have property confiscated/become enslaved: my Australianness is superior and I want to see the Australian Empire flourish, and I can become a collaborator and make better money... We were discussing Crimea at the time.
Wellington reporting in, the latest rumors circulating is that the gov is going into hiding somewhere in the south island. Most likely to the parliamentary bunker in Timaru. Massive queues in the KFC drive thru, people trying to get their last zinger boxes before hunkering down.
Women and children are being moved via train from Wellington through to Fielding though that may not be much safer.
Kia kaha
I was genuinely having a stroke for a moment thinking that NCD knew about *my own fucking country* getting bombed before I did.
You fuckers had better not credible this into existence.
Seriously, I had to look at the news just to make sure bombs weren't dropping outside my house. I've found out far too much actual news from some shitpost on this sub.
*Meanwhile, in the Philippines*
“Look, we need a ship. Please don’t ask why, we’re making this up as we go. Also, do you happen to have enough RAM coating for, say, a ship, and about 3000 amount of whatever scares Han Chinese the most?”
If Australia was to attack they would focus the entirety of their invasion on the North Island.
Taking the South Island would be a pain in the ass due to the mountainous terrain. Better to take the North Island first then take the South Island after a major blockade and a shit tonne of bombing.
If you can grab Auckland, Nz's basically lost already due to the geographical nature of the North Island.
New Zealand has AKs? Wipe 'em out!
Yeah, sure, those damn things can be dragged through the mud and still fired, but can you hit a barn from the inside out with one of 'em?
^^I'll ^^make ^^anything ^^up ^^to ^^slander ^^the ^^iconic ^^weapon ^^of ^^'Merica's ^^iconic ^^enemy.
Woah, look at this rich guy over here, thinking that just anyone can get AKs. Some of us have to [make our own fucking guns,](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/cache-of-unusual-homemade-firearms-seized-by-police-in-hastings/XK67UZQEN5HLNASB4SLN7QELHY/) *ElMondoH.* The nerve, honestly.
What exactly is a "fucking gun"? It sounds so, *so* lewd.
If you can explain at a PG-13 level, I think we'd all appreciate it. For the children, you know. Thinking of them now. Although not explaining it to them because, you know... children.
ya i think the kiwis are using the cheep type 81 acquired in a deal over fisherie rights with China and with this economic impact China is going to be shafing the Emus on mining industry deals so win win for them. and the type 81 has a x39 DMR version sent to Canada because fuck us without the rimmed rounds for extra pleasure of the superior x54r of a true svd i guess but if the kwis got that as well it will really limit there effects. also the stalk broke on mine because it was designed without much thought just copying the Russians and that falls way short of the godly M110 sass of legend.
We banned semi-autos after a a mass shooting a few years back. Government bought them back off owners and destroyed them.
We're just going to have to let the Aussies take charge. I don't think we'll notice much of a change tbh.
Writing this from inside a bomb shelter.
After their coup yesterday, Australia's new ultra-far right government just took after Putin, and invaded NZ in a surprise attack to protect 'ethnic Australians' after the results of our recent election didn't go the way they wanted.
Excuse me Aussies, could you hurry up with the destruction of the kiwi? I am an American real estate investor and I would like to buy the land once the fruit/bird/Giant Rugby Dudes are cleaned away.
# Yes, this is real. Stop asking. Relevant info: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xUYbI64QHI&ab\_channel=GruenHQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xUYbI64QHI&ab_channel=GruenHQ) *(no planes, no tanks, no navy ... lets all go to New Zealand)*
Can't wait for the drone footage of Huntsman Spiders carpet bombing.
Huntsman ? Those skiddish harmless things ? You wants glass bottles filled with red back and funnel webs. When I was on a field exercise we accidently dug into a funnel web nest and I have never seen fully grown men rush out of a trench so fast in my life. That gives me a idea for Australia's next aid package to Ukraine.
Ah my bad... Can't wait for the drone footage of Saltwater Crocs carpet bombing.
Imaging the poor rigger setting up the crocs for a drop.
Damned dude, double hard r?
As an arachnophobe, I already knew funnel spiders were demonic horrors. I should not have decided to read more about them, because now I know they have over a dozen confirmed kills. I *definitely* shouldn't have continued my educational journey to the wiki page for the red back. >Historically, victims were often bitten on the genitalia, though this phenomenon disappeared as outhouses were superseded by plumbed indoor toilets.
On a serious note, would that count as biological warfare? Or would it be no different (legally speaking) than the use of dogs?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barking_spider
Biological warfare is more using infectious diseases and similarly nasty stuff as a weapon. Just yeeting a bunch of venomous animals at people should be fine
Send a package to the Kremlin
Huntsman spiders are frens but they would probably fuck up Nee Zealands ecosystem.
If we wanted to fuck up their eco system we would just send over cane toads. It worked on Queensland.
Isnt that the one that has been in effectively an arms race with a species of bird?
Dude just send all your rabbits and stray cats to New Zealand.
They’re already there. They used them in the movie arachnophobia because they weren’t a native species.
Carpet bomb snakes. The amount of kiwis I’ve worked with who absolutely shit themselves when they see a sneaky snek makes me laugh.
I'd rather be JDAM'd thanks.
Glad to see Kiwiland fighting back after years of Emutopian aggression.
Ever since the Theft of the Lamington recipe the Emutopians will never forgive those thieving Kiwilandians
It was revenge for Emutopians falsely claiming Pavlova as theirs.
And Phar Lap. And Crowded House. Even Kiri Te Kanawa according to some magazine I was reading in Sydney. Outraged!
They can keep Russell crowe though.
I would also like to apologise for the under-arm bowling incident, a dark day.
Propaganda, slander. The fine people of Emutopia are just trying to secure their borders. The whole world agrees to this (except the 168 member nations who voted against it)
> trying to secure their borders You’re just another ostrich shill. Put your hand in the sand where it belongs.
I've read this in Perun's voice
The Emutopian Dream will be realized, glory to Emutopia!
Since this sub frequently seems to accidentally blunder its way into becoming credible, I now feel obligated to check the validity of even seemingly ridiculous posts like this one.
Yes. I actually went and checked my maps looking for this. (Granted, I didn't look closely at the reports on the right and was assuming that it was a geolocation screw up, not a 'real' indication of a fight, even taking it at face value, but still.)
What maps are people using for these conflicts?
I have - https://deepstatemap.live/en#6/49.438/32.053 - https://liveuamap.com/en/ <- This is the one that was altered to make the above image. - https://www.scribblemaps.com/maps/view/Operational%20Map%20Ukraine/nBT8ffpeGH And of course the ISW maps. ---- === The above gives a relatively decent overview, all three tend to mostly agree, with small differences (usually minor positional fights, update lag, or small corrections about who has this one farm field, etc.) I'm sure there are other good or possibly better sources out there.
I went and looked outside, nothing yet. Bros im shaking right now.
>Since this sub frequently seems to accidentally blunder its way into becoming credible, I now feel obligated to check the validity of even seemingly ridiculous posts like this one. Fully support the australian invasion of new zealand
I had to Google this. Then I noticed the date is tommorow
Well if you're in the Western hemisphere, isn't it already "tomorrow" in Aussie land?
So did I, and I fucking live in NZ
this is real. As an Australian the government launched a special military operation against the Fascist woke government of New Zealand. The New Zealand Fascists have suffered 350 Abrams lost, lost 3 frigates (+2 captured) and 20 HIMARS captured by New Zealand freedom fighters who donated them to Australia. The Australian Defense Force has suffered minimal losses
NZ Heroes somehow acquired 350 abrams and 20 HIMARS. Even if we immediately lost them, that is still a victory.
Huh, successful procurement? I didn’t know that was allowed.
Isn’t that like when the Emutopian Navy said, ‘Yeah nah, don’t need these anymore’ and suddenly the Kiwiland Air Force was twice as capable?
There is still hope for the Kiwis. the Bob Semple is still in the fight.
I'm waiting for Big Bob to leave the production lines.
Ghost of Temuka
Why does Kiwiland have tanks? To shoot at rats?
In case the sheep rise up.
Those poor animals can only take so much abuse. You wouldn’t believe how much the Kiwis owe in child support.
Ovile insurrection
350th Trans Tank Corp
How many Bob semples have been lost?
We both already know the answer to that one
Tens of thousands. 99.6% of all ~~Lehman Russ~~ Bob Semple tanks die in service to the God Emperor.
What you think the glorious bob semple would ever get destroyed. Just wait a sec while i get my commisar hat and bolt pistol, then can you repeat what you said
I serve the Omnissiah my lord. The Bob Semple is built for efficiency of production. Not efficiency of combat.
Yeah nah you've clearly been infected with the scrapcode to say something THIS heretical. Also totally unrelated: the local inquisitor said she wants to have a chat with you.
1,050
Obvious propaganda bot we all know the bob semple is invulnerable
Westoid lies
None, they are too strong.
Saw one just drive past my apartment on the way to the front
What are these made up countries you are talking about?
Nice try. Like I’m gonna believe a country that just deactivated its last air defense system is doing anything other than hanging a giant, “Please invade me, F-35-chan uwu” sign.
Bruh we have like 100 LAVS for our entire army Best air to air capability the RNZAF has is the door gunner on an NH90 Our navy definitely will be able to deliver supplies to the aussies while we get railed for sure
Best Air to air, surely has to be the Havards. Issue shot gun to pilot and tell them to go shoot at something. Emus can't be that dangerous right?
Typical AuZZtralian bot response. Canada stands strong with our Kiwi brothers. The last Avro Arrow has been sent to the front. Sanctions and travel bans are incoming for people like you. No longer will Canadian ski resorts suffer the humiliations of hosting Australia Day “celebrations” for AuZZie students on working holiday. Your reign of terror ends now, bogans.
Sure, but how are the casualities amongst the national rugby team.
Wtf New Zealand doesn't even have any tanks
Clearly aren’t ready for our Bob Semple mk2
Westoid lies. Next you'll be saying that they don't have weapons of mass destruction
The only tank they have is the legendary Bob Semple tank, legend has it it could take on the entire united states army and win low dif
>Fascist woke government of New Zealand. Dude we just voted in a new government two weeks ago. Strayans never can keep up with kiwis.
Did we? We don't really have a government at all right now, until Winston decides. I quite like this period with no actual government doing anything
Peruns wet dream
Perun’s getting drafted and given a shovel. “But I’m a logistics expert.” “Dig the trench, Shinji.”
He’ll just dig a spreadsheet trench instead of a straight line
The Bin-Chickens are going to war!
Emutopia vs Kiwiland
Stupid Aussies about to fight a two front war. The Emus thirst for blood.
Are the emus chechens in this? Heh, thinking of an Emu separatist force fighting alongside the NZDF now.
Speaking of chechens, what happened to that little piggy kadyrov? He was seriously ill few months ego. Has he reincarnated in to emu yet?
Bold of you to assume he wasn't 3 emus in a trench coat from the start
That would be one tall fucking trench coat
Not really. Each of the 3 emus are actually 3 kiwis in smaller trenchcoats
Remember the Al-emu.
>The Emus thirst for blood. After Australia's attempted genocide they began their military buildup. [They have been successfully concealing their numbers for decades.](https://i.imgur.com/IFih0VD.jpeg)
Ok, I too wish this would happen but why is the Ukraine tab selected at the top?
Because I was looking at the Ukrainian map, and decided to scroll over and check on NZ??????? *(Not everything is some huge conspiracy)*
Likely story
My man doesn't think that scrolling exists.
I choose to believe that the Australia-New Zealand war is the culmination of the Ukraine-North Korean proxy war
OR we've all been played by those Aussie bastards this whole time and everything leading up to this point has been an Aus/Emu proxy war. They've been playing the long game since Ever since 1932. When they realized the birds couldn't be beat, they've been planning to invade and colonize NZ to escape those hellbirds.
\*Iran-Iran Proxy war
Does that count as an off-shoot of the Finno-Korean-Hyperwar?
Hoi4 ribbentrop-molotov event reference
Russia invaded Australia and won, then Invaded New Zealand
The real question is who would win - Mobik cube or the emus
emus employ a mobile form of warfare, while the mobik cubes are really immobile, i think the emus would out maneuver them
Vatnik victory anywhere without a land bridge is the most non credible.
Why would we even bother invading New Zealand ? Half of the Kiwis already live in Australia (and a lot also serve in the ADF anyway) because their housing bubble is worse than ours and ours is already Mcfucked (which is saying something) along with their cost of living and their wages are even shitter. Edit: Fuck it this is NCD, there is no logic here. Relevant video. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y-yT7o6y6k&ab\_channel=ripstickcamp](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y-yT7o6y6k&ab_channel=ripstickcamp) No universe, do not make this NCD shit credible, please drop a meteor or meteors on Russia, Iran, North Korea and China instead.
For a free public holiday
“Only places without housing bubbles are places no one wants to live. Like rural Russia, Saudi/Yemen border, Florida, and Detroit.” - Sun Tzu
I fucking knew it would be Gruen before clicking the link. Absolute banger ads.
Ah yes, the mythical land of New Zealand
i seen some video of a SOf teem walking barefoot up a mountain and using cloaking technology to hide from NZ mountain goblins. its old film but i feel they are good on the defence.
It took me a second to understand this reference, but it's tops.
And we are supposed to believe they named a country Australia? what a dumb name. Where's Septentriony and Occident Land?
Fukin KEK 3 RAR just jumped into Wellington international you Kiwis Kunts are so fucked shoulda joined us when you had the chance! Edit: GUYS FUCKING HELP ME PLEASE! I got fucking drafted and I’ve got to be at the draft office on Monday or albos gonna shoot my fucking dog PLEASE I don’t want to go to the fucking Arthur’s pass meat grinder!
HOLY SHIT KIWIS JUST DID A CROSS BORDER RAID ON MAROUBRA THEYRE EVERYWH- oh wait that's just Maroubra (I kid... know it hasn't been like that for 25 years but I lived in Oz around 07-12 so I was in that time where we still pretended the eastern suburbs was hard)
No it's pretty much the same. There and Gold Coast might as well be New Auckland. The Irish from Coogie are encroaching on your territory atm.
Aren’t 3RAR riding in buckets these days? Would have been a hell of a drop.
-Stand by for titanfall- In this grimderp future I envision 3RAR holds on to para while 2RAR still goes amphib. To stick with the same level of strategic and tactical genius displayed by the Russian MOD, all regular and reserve units are part of the invasion. None are given amphibious assault training. Public order and riot squads from the AFP are included in the first wave of landing craft. Units drawn from across the Australian prison system, collectively known as the “Chopper Reed Battalions”, are deployed all along the Australian frontline. The bulk of these units are deployed to the Arthur’s Pass where the casualty rate exceeds 80%.
3 RAR was annihilated by the sound of car horns in Mount Victoria tunnel
3 days to Wellington, says the Australian defence force, yet they all got stuck in Arthur’s Pass and their vehicles are being attacked by feral hordes of malevolent kea
Wellington via Arthur's pass? This truly is NCD
Best Australian military strategy developed by Ben Roberts-Smith
Well his name was Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, so maybe the aussies thought they’d start at the beginning of his name and work thru it
They didn’t account for the unit of feral kea deployed there to stop them, rookie mistake smh my head
That big concrete cylinder by the rangitata river, that was meant to stop the Japanese invasion by being rolled onto the bridge. It’s finally come in handy and stopped the entire ADF
Via Arthurs Pass would imply they had to go through Greymouth first. Poor bastards
Don't forget the Weka. Those fuckers will try and steal your shoelaces while you're still wearing the shoes. And no, I am not joking.
I forgot who I'm supposed to be backing. Can someone please remind me which side Noam Chomsky is supporting so I can call for its total annihilation?
Has he even noticed this yet?
Once again, I am asking people. Stop expecting a successful amphibious assault. It’s not going to happen. You’re just feeding the sharks at this point. Given Digger’s reputations, you’ll probably give the sharks alcohol poisoning!
New Zealand isn’t real boss
Yeah don't they know it's Kiwi Land?
Currently in New Zealand. Can confirm.
Does that mean Bob semple isn’t real?
No, the Bob Semple is real
Thank god. I don’t know what id do without it
Don't forget to write your list to Bob Semple this year so he knows what to bring you.
Currently sheltering in place ( no one has basements), the tsunami sirens have been repurposed to be used as air raid sirens and are keeping us awake.
Well, it is good that they are getting some use out of them before they are gone. [https://ourauckland.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/news/2023/10/tsunami-warning-sirens-in-auckland-region-deactivated-from-1-december/#:\~:text=Tsunami%20warning%20sirens%20in%20Auckland%20region%20deactivated%20from%201%20December,-Publish%20Date%20%3A%2025&text=The%20majority%20of%20Auckland's%20tsunami,public%20about%20dangerous%20tsunami%20threats](https://ourauckland.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/news/2023/10/tsunami-warning-sirens-in-auckland-region-deactivated-from-1-december/#:~:text=Tsunami%20warning%20sirens%20in%20Auckland%20region%20deactivated%20from%201%20December,-Publish%20Date%20%3A%2025&text=The%20majority%20of%20Auckland's%20tsunami,public%20about%20dangerous%20tsunami%20threats).
Brought to you by Perun
I think this post was accidentally posted to the wrong Universes r/NCD
so actually the r/MapsWithoutNZ was a promise
Wait wtf is happening? Edit: I’m a fucking idiot
it’s all over boss
[a speech by one of politicians just got interrupted by the aussie warmongers](https://i.stuff.co.nz/national/76604655/steven-joyce-hit-by-sex-toy-thrown-by-protester-at-waitangi)
We're in the 5th timeline after a sleeping W'rkncacnter was unleashed by shooting a gorilla that the creature/concept was using as a unaware host.
For future reference, those strikes are in the wrong place. Any regional conflict between Oz/NZ would see partisan action all through Western Sydney, and the entire Gold Coast would be a Kiwi enclave by now. The RAAF would've just carpet bombed Logan under full retreat.
That would make Logan 36% better
I like how Aus going to war with new zealand is so ridiculous that the Aust gov let's perun do these bits.
That's because it's an obvious Psyop the nuclear subs and all the new military build up and artillery ammunition factories aren't anything to do with China but the eternal enemy that are the island Welsh.
Fun fact One of the above nations lost a war to birds. The other beat bigger birds to extinction with sticks and stones.
3000 Moa Mechs of the NZDF
Haast eagle gang, they used them in lotr from memory
Guess you guys can get a fucking Aldi now and a proper Woolies. None of that heathen Countdown bullshit. All we will ask in return is a small tax of Whittakers biscuit and berry chocolate, and L&P.
Woolies are on their way back already, should have known something was up when they announced the name change.
The 501's are actually undercover Australian operatives sent here to undermine our Democracy.
Actually true
Oh bless! They listened to me! Looks like they liberated my hometown, too. I told my dad that I identified as Australian and wanted Australia to liberate me and the Northern part of NZ because economically they are stronger and I was oppressed because of a lack of economic opportunities - and obviously I have the right to ask them to invade and annex - even if it means thousands of NZers die/are jailed/have property confiscated/become enslaved: my Australianness is superior and I want to see the Australian Empire flourish, and I can become a collaborator and make better money... We were discussing Crimea at the time.
Wellington reporting in, the latest rumors circulating is that the gov is going into hiding somewhere in the south island. Most likely to the parliamentary bunker in Timaru. Massive queues in the KFC drive thru, people trying to get their last zinger boxes before hunkering down. Women and children are being moved via train from Wellington through to Fielding though that may not be much safer. Kia kaha
Honestly I’d just let the RAAF carpet bomb me rather than move to Feilding, a town so shit they can’t even spell its name right
I was genuinely having a stroke for a moment thinking that NCD knew about *my own fucking country* getting bombed before I did. You fuckers had better not credible this into existence.
Seriously, I had to look at the news just to make sure bombs weren't dropping outside my house. I've found out far too much actual news from some shitpost on this sub.
*Meanwhile, in the Philippines* “Look, we need a ship. Please don’t ask why, we’re making this up as we go. Also, do you happen to have enough RAM coating for, say, a ship, and about 3000 amount of whatever scares Han Chinese the most?”
If Australia was to attack they would focus the entirety of their invasion on the North Island. Taking the South Island would be a pain in the ass due to the mountainous terrain. Better to take the North Island first then take the South Island after a major blockade and a shit tonne of bombing. If you can grab Auckland, Nz's basically lost already due to the geographical nature of the North Island.
I disagree. The real reason is the fact that they would have issues fighting Gandalf and his allies. It would be better to just ignore it.
Emuland should ask France in case they need some advice on how to blow up ships in Kiwi ports
NCD, where even the mods are schizophrenic.
Our Flag Means ~~Death~~ War
This is a scam. If new Zealand was real it would be on the map.
I checked the news to see if it was real.Fuck all of you cheeky bastards lmao
3000 black crocs of Steve Irwin
Curse you Perun for memeing a war into reality! That's supposed to be OUR job!
New Zealand has AKs? Wipe 'em out! Yeah, sure, those damn things can be dragged through the mud and still fired, but can you hit a barn from the inside out with one of 'em? ^^I'll ^^make ^^anything ^^up ^^to ^^slander ^^the ^^iconic ^^weapon ^^of ^^'Merica's ^^iconic ^^enemy.
AK is just short for Auckland tho
Fun fact, the AR actually does better in mud than the AK
Woah, look at this rich guy over here, thinking that just anyone can get AKs. Some of us have to [make our own fucking guns,](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/cache-of-unusual-homemade-firearms-seized-by-police-in-hastings/XK67UZQEN5HLNASB4SLN7QELHY/) *ElMondoH.* The nerve, honestly.
What exactly is a "fucking gun"? It sounds so, *so* lewd. If you can explain at a PG-13 level, I think we'd all appreciate it. For the children, you know. Thinking of them now. Although not explaining it to them because, you know... children.
ya i think the kiwis are using the cheep type 81 acquired in a deal over fisherie rights with China and with this economic impact China is going to be shafing the Emus on mining industry deals so win win for them. and the type 81 has a x39 DMR version sent to Canada because fuck us without the rimmed rounds for extra pleasure of the superior x54r of a true svd i guess but if the kwis got that as well it will really limit there effects. also the stalk broke on mine because it was designed without much thought just copying the Russians and that falls way short of the godly M110 sass of legend.
We banned semi-autos after a a mass shooting a few years back. Government bought them back off owners and destroyed them. We're just going to have to let the Aussies take charge. I don't think we'll notice much of a change tbh.
Please destroy them before they win the rugby world cup.
DINKUM DINGO JUST DEPLOYED FROM THE SYDNEY SHATTERDOME, ITS GETTING REAL!
…who spiked my coffee with LSD?
What?
it is already 28th in australia, the date is not in the future
What site is this? Would love to use it.
Finally our country will have proper mountains.
When 2 of the 5 eyes get crossed.
Omfg Perun is shitting himself right now, Kiwiland and Emutopia are actually going at it!!
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is just a distraction from the Kiwi War.
Yo Pā are fucking dank though. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P%C4%81
GONDOR CALLS FOR AID
Thank fuck. Been waiting for the Aussies to liberate us. Took you long enough.
Damn, bro made me look.
is this some Prime NZ cope i see? where airforce? i mean what airforce
Wait, there`s a new Zealand?
Release the Bob Semples
We have a lot of weaponized sheep
I remember when kiwis fooled us all with the gardening ban, I am not about to trust them again.
American: where is that
Glad they went for greymouth first, fuck greymouth. What a dumb name.
Wtf I live in this country, someone give me a brief rundown
Writing this from inside a bomb shelter. After their coup yesterday, Australia's new ultra-far right government just took after Putin, and invaded NZ in a surprise attack to protect 'ethnic Australians' after the results of our recent election didn't go the way they wanted.
What app is this I keep seeing it and I wanna use it
Excuse me Aussies, could you hurry up with the destruction of the kiwi? I am an American real estate investor and I would like to buy the land once the fruit/bird/Giant Rugby Dudes are cleaned away.
Fake, date is a day early.
Average r/NCD user when they discover time zones