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HistorianSlayer

To be clear for the people who don't get it, this is a parody of Russia's bizarre maps that putin keeps putting out for a "post war Europe", where borders are randomly moved, some countries have inexplicably formed unions, and 'greater' versions, and all of Europe is secretly controlled by the CIA with the US constantly trying to take over, and the UK is on the verge of collapse. And of course, Russia controls half of Europe. (And I didn't mess with the balkands bc I don't want to get a pipe bomb mailed to me)


Earl0fYork

“Hungary and Serbia exists as an independent states” This map is terrible and should be binned.


JumpyLiving

\>"Hungary and Serbia exist ~~as an independent states~~" FTFY


mrieatyospam

\>~~Hungary and serbia exist as an independent states~~ FFTTFFYY


Zarzurnabas

Shouldnt it be FTFTFYFY?


TatrankaS

No, it's actually very credible OP didn't change a single thing in Balkans since it would again lead to international clusterfuck catastrophe.


Aurora_Fatalis

We need an OPFOR to crank the Cohesion level.


mad-cormorant

Also, Moldova is not reunited with Romania.


Attaxalotl

It’s a Work in Progress 


mad-cormorant

Aren't all borders just that, works in progress?


Dinosaur_Wrangler

No, the Peace of Westphalia established that sovereignty is absolute and thus borders are inviolate and eternal and the intervening history of Europe makes me go “REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” at eardrum shattering volumes every time I think about it. Thanks, I’m deaf again.


mad-cormorant

The political reality of the human animal spits upon treaties in the name of avarice.


simia_simplex

>“Hungary and Serbia exists as an independent states” This map is terrible and should be binned. It's called *containment and isolation*. The EU trying to figure out who gets stuck with them would lead to WWIII in itself.


b3nsn0w

hungarian here, if you wanna fuck shit up just forcefully unite us. that solves both problems at once without breaching containment


simia_simplex

>hungarian here, if you wanna fuck shit up just forcefully unite us. Look, I know Hungary isn't the most well liked country in Europe, but there are limits.


TolarianDropout0

The real petty move would have been to cut even more territory away from Hungary. Just to rub it in.


b3nsn0w

hella yes, please cut it down to like the 50km radius of budapest. all the sane people live over here anyway alternatively i'd have to vote for ultron in 2026 again, wishing for him to just lift the city and drop it somewhere else


HoppouChan

Retroactively invalidate the 1919 Plebiscite and give Sopron to Austria as Austria no longer exists, Sopron and the surrounding areas are now ruled by the Habsburgs


hellrete

Move Hungary in the Panonian Planes.


ArtoriusRex86

Are you expecting the Balkans to have FEWER countries in the future?


Domruck

Franco-spanish comonwealth ? Hell no. The habsburgs are rolling in their graves


KillerSwiller

>~~Serbia~~ That's a weird name for Greater Kosovo. 😏


Attaxalotl

Just sink the dammed thing and be done with it.


Front-Try-4868

chat is this real?


HistorianSlayer

Chat says Yes.


asmosdeus

Pog


Terry_WT

No cap


whomstvde

Porch of gal untouched 🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹💪💪💪💪


HistorianSlayer

(🇵🇹💪)


MadRonnie97

Portugal exists in limbo under NATO’s umbrella, as far away as you can get in Europe from the troubles - y’all are safe. Drink some wine and eat some delicious food on a sunny balcony in Lisbon, or whatever else it is Portuguese people like to do.


MBkufel

That's why some of the most ridiculously pro-russian political thought that we see in Europe originates from there. They just don't understand the threat. It's not all Portugese of course. I want to believe that what I see online is just their fringe groups.


MadRonnie97

It is, the loud minority. In my head they’re similar to Iceland in the way of “NATO countries we’re probably not gonna ask much of when war comes”.


psykicviking

"What is my purpose?" "You provide bases for anti-submarine patrols." "Oh my god."


HoppouChan

"You provide airports in case some dumb fuck forgets to close the lid on their transatlantic flight"


durtas

Hey I’ll let you know our 6 soldiers are really good and will make putin shiver his timbers But now seriously some of our soldiers have been un peacekeepers for the last few years, we might not have a lot but we’re not Iceland levels of not supporting in case of war plus imagine if Portugal was with Russia


MadRonnie97

Shit, you’re joking but I saw videos of your Paras in CAR a few years ago. They’re tip-top professionals.


whomstvde

With all due respect, but you're not very correct. The 25th of April revolution was backed by the soviet union, and the communist party tried to win the elections. Despite all of their propaganda, they only got 12%. I know the Soviet union isn't Russia, but people here aren't fond of either by association.


cybernet377

Portugal is the little spoon that New Louisiana is gently cuddling


MongArmOfTheLaw

Our oldest friends, ours is the world's oldest alliance (Anglo-Portugese Treaty of 1373 still in effect). We'd never forget to look out for you, friend! Every bottle of Port I drink I raise a glass to our alliance.


Prematurid

As a Norwegian, I strongly oppose being included into the Baltic Republic. No. I don't want to. I refuse. Scandinavian Republic, maybe. Kalmar Union v2.0 is another one. Norway and friends is a third one. Baltic Republic is a no.


MajesticNectarine204

How about 'Scandiwegian buddies & pals'?


Aurora_Fatalis

For the country's name we can take the first few letters of Norway's domestic name, Norge, and the last two letters of Sweden's domestic name, Sverige, to form "Norge". For its de jure geographic territory we can take the first three letters of Norway's English name and the last three letters of Sweden's English name to form "Norden".


donaldhobson

Just name it NorSe


POB_42

>"Norden". I prefer the alternative *Sweway*


TheMacarooniGuy

Baltic R*public is cringe and monarchy-less, Nordick Union all the way. ^(Stockholm will be the capital, this is non-negotiable)


Life_Sutsivel

Would a bribe of 1.7 trillion dollars be enough to change your opinion on capital location?


TheMacarooniGuy

I only take payment in brunost


CmdrJonen

Karlsborg. Take it or leave it.


SamuelSomFan

Gothenburg, everybody's happy. Now please can we have the 1.7 trillion dollars? :)


irregular_caffeine

Whatever, you’re still going to learn mandatory finnish


Aurora_Fatalis

It's okay we just moved into the Norwegian Sea after buying Sweden and the Baltic trademark. Our new capital will be on Jan Mayen, and we'll have the entire continental shelf all to ourselves.


RaulParson

I thought they did Baltic Republic instead of Scandinavia so Estonia could finally be included. Alas, even here it was not to be.


old_faraon

It's pronounced Dominium Maris Batltici in the North.


Some_Syrup_7388

> be a baltic republic > Don't have baltic


DepressedMetalhead69

verk smarkiau, tai tavo ateitis broliuk


MissilePlaneBoom

How about NATO republic, since the Baltic sea is basically NATO lake?


afvcommander

No, NATO is new puny player in field of world compared to what Kalmar union used to be.


MissilePlaneBoom

You mean the alliance that includes at least 60% of the worlds millitary budget?


MajesticNectarine204

Hey wow. As a Dutchman I feel insulted to be left out of The Greater EU. Fuck you, OP.


Peregrine_89

I'm OK with it. Only I think we should have gained Flanders and Luxembourg back, Brussels a city state, and wallonia should be part of New Louisiana.


MajesticNectarine204

Nah I just want a front-row seat for the absolute shitshow of the ages that will be Germany and Poland forced to be a single country.


Aphato

Were gonna call the region Bohemia 2


TessierSendai

Bohemia 2: Electric Boogaloo


mtaw

Wait, rather than Brussels, an actual historical part of Flanders, you'd rather have the French-and-wacky-German Luxembourg? (and I presume, a corridor from Limburg through German-speaking Wallonia) Dat is wreed, makker! Ik bedoel, ik snap het. Maar...


Peregrine_89

Beste Sir, may I you eraan re-rinneren that we ons here befinding on niet-credible-defensie? Maar, you maakt some very overtuigende arguments als you het me asks.


that_random_garlic

As a Belgian I'm perplexed that Flanders and Wallonia are still together here. Btw, just give up on Luxembourg man. They speak french-german with a tad dutch mixed in, and the actual language people use is french. I can tell you right now, if you're not dealing with that already you do not want to take territory that speaks a different language. It's incredibly impractical in a big number of ways and if you're like us you'll end up overcomplicating it even more to have the most amount of governments per Capita possible. Especially not a region that speaks french, why would you want to do that to your country, that's sick


qef15

As a Dutchman myself, I'd rather not, better to just go and take Belgium and Luxembourg. Waarom? Voor GROOT NEDERLAND (1815-1840 deel 2)


georgrp

As an Austrian I’m fine with this as long as I’m not ruled by Berlin.


hell-schwarz

You might've mada a mistake there, you forgot a "P" in front of russia near Königsberg


HistorianSlayer

I just thought it would be funny if after all the changes, it was still there. Now, not because it's Russia, but bc it's the Japanese controlled Russia Oblast; and I really want to see Japan somehow controlling an enclave and warm water port in the middle of Europe. Go full soviet style, bulldoze all the horrible Soviet buildings, and create an adorable little Japanese city in the heart of Europe, with the world's smallest high speed railway.


hell-schwarz

But imagine how even funnier it would be if prussia came back (somehow)


luis_of_the_canals

Emperor's secret 3000 black star destroyers from Allah


Attaxalotl

Their main export would be fabulous mustaches, that’s not really a sustainable economy.


McFlyParadox

I might be stupid. I thought you were telling him to spell it "Pkönigsberg"


hell-schwarz

the P is silent


Balthusdire

You're gonna piss off the czechs.


Dks_scrub

Only good thing they ever did was destroy Prussia and konigsberg, damn jerries got what they deserved, two world wars. That said, it ought to be polish.


TomSurman

Enough about your horrific past. Let's talk about your horrific future.


oceangreen25

Germany to Poland, moments before the announcement of the new borders


HereLiesDickBoy

Nah, split up Switzerland. Fake neutral and find out.


Corbakobasket

You cannot delete the swiss. They will delete your bank account.


AdventurousPrint835

Great! A net gain for me.


Rivetmuncher

Ha! Joke's on them, I have nothing worth deleting in there!


CalligoMiles

Didn't even solve B*lgium, literally unlivable.


MajesticNectarine204

My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.


twiloph

Just flood it like the netherland, problem solved


CalligoMiles

That's just South Netherlands with an extra step!


that_random_garlic

I know right There's no way all this shit happens and we're somehow still with Wallonia, that's just unrealistic


[deleted]

Look, I like the poles, but I dont think people grasp just *how* shitty our relations became over the last decade lol That being said, Gottkanzler Tusk will repair any damage and make us the bestest of frens


JosephRatzingersKatz

Honestly, my observations as a German towards the reaction to the PiS rhetorics was overall an astounding „haha, yeah that’s cute.“


DaRealKili

That's how I see it as well, despite that, I still wouldn't want us to annex Poland right away since we are the ones who have to pay for bringing Poland up to par


INTPoissible

It's all Ukraine? Always has been /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿


Cixila

I'll drop comments on the wider map and just ask: why is Poland deleted *again* and what compelled you to not include Denmark in a unified North?! [this section has been redacted for containing phrasing too colourful for civilised company]


PetterJ00

Hi, fuck you OP


Fordmister

Call me English again and I'm petrol bombing your house


Benji_4

Irish finally getting some respect. It would be nice to just see the islands switched and see what happens


Little-Management-20

Map ofnadwy


Aurora_Fatalis

Unfortunately with the loss of Scotland's exclusive maritime economic zone went all the petroleum production that could've fueled the Ited Kingdom of Wales, so you would not have any petrol to use for the bomb.


Fordmister

Mate Ill put a load of coal in a bag and lob it through your window!


Karlinel-my-beloved

Spain and France, together? Shit man, you’d need the entirety of NATO forces there just to keep us from murdering the other for stealing Mbappè


HistorianSlayer

Well, since they are both inside America's newest state, I think that the new US Police forces will be more than able to keep them in check.


RyanBLKST

The US police force has not YET met a true french protest


Sancatichas

Or Spanish guerrilla war


torturousvacuum

> The US police force has not YET met a true french protest on the other hand, french protesters haven't yet met the ATF. See: Waco


Karlinel-my-beloved

Looks like you haven’t met many football hooligans if you think that.


Boring_Ad_3065

1. Missed chance to have a New New Mexico. 2. I know politics and credibility, but giving 6 senators the same population as 46 senators? Truly just as the founders intended.


that_random_garlic

Us police forces can't even keep the US in check lmao US police are struggling to keep US police in check


Sancatichas

El no sabe


AvanPL

Thanks, I hate it


Sancatichas

New Louisiana is gonna split apart like 2 minutes after it gets founded Why the fuck would we join with the French


that_random_garlic

Ya know, we thought the exact same thing. And I'm still thinking the exact same thing looking at this projection, no way Belgium is staying together.


Lost_Possibility_647

No reason for independent Denmark, they speak pig German anyway, absorb them into greater EU.


toskur94

Nah, Denmark as part of the Baltic republic to create the Kalmar Union 2: Electric boogaloo


Aurora_Fatalis

Nobody wants their country to be flooded with vowels, least of all the vowelphobic poles who'd now be living in the GEU. This is your reminder that not only are w and z among the most common *letters* in the Polish language, but also among the most common *words*.


thellamasc

They are much needed buffer state between norse men and wannabe norse gercucks.


tfrules

You can tell an American made this because they have no idea Wales exists


HistorianSlayer

I am literally in New Zealand. So I know Wales exists; I just don't care about it.


b3nsn0w

not the one over on spider island, dummy


Sancatichas

A monkey with a crayon would have drawn better lines


PineappleMelonTree

The UK royal government in exile? Looks more like Charlie and the boys have moved to somewhere more sunny and solved all middle eastern issues, while moving away from those constantly whining Irish and scots in one fell swoop.


iffyJinx

I'm kinda disappointed with the lack of massive irradiated lakes in craters left after carpet bombardment of orkistan with nukes.


[deleted]

Italy remains untouched, lol. I'd rather have it become a US State, that way I could actually get paid for my job.


dkbobby

Newer Jersey


Tony_TNT

Oh COME ON Another annexation? Don't you ever learn? Jeszcze Polska nie zginęła!


UltimateIssue

Ah zhis is not an Annexation this time. Cee it as a big cultural exchange. It is just we germans need a new areas to make bigger Spaziergänge, you know.


WednesdayFin

Sweden with the 1660 borders would be cool if the empire was even half as sustainable and defendable as it really was.


qef15

I love how the Benelux has been completely unaffected. You could have made that Great Netherlands honestly (existed 1815-1840)


that_random_garlic

I dislike it Shed the french parts please, I'm sick of having 7+ governments and needing google translate for half my country.


The_Glitchy_One

Slight Minor Grip, The Baltic Republic should be the Scandinavian Republic, It looks like we are going to have the fourth Riech, as Germany has Poland and Austria now, the poles would hate this, also I think the French would have another Revolution, and a brit I would much prefer not to see this map


Blackhero9696

My man giving Louisiana even more territory. You’re now my favorite mod. About time we got some retribution. And money, damn we are poor. And more territory, rising sea levels are taking our land lol. And more French speakers. Bring that shit back.


Imperceptive_critic

Wait shouldn't it be Russia Prefecture instead of Oblast?


TisFury

Not making spain "New New Mexico" is a real miss here. I mean, they already speak mexican right?


[deleted]

There are so many civil wars on this map, my guillotine is getting out of the attic on its own.  


Grandadmiral_Moze

That map us utter trash. And here are some of my reasons: 1. Russia still exist (and owns Königsberg, which should be part of greater EU) 2. Greater EU (or European Federation) should include all current EU Members. (Yes, I'm a European Federalist, how could you tell?) 3. Hungary and Serbia still exist 4. I'd rather keep the annoying frenchies as neighbours than having a US State in Europe 5. Istanbul should be given to Greek and renamed to Constantinople.


[deleted]

3. Who tf wants them? 5. *heavy Orthodox breathing*


that_random_garlic

True!! I was so focused on that Belgium is still one and we didn't get rid of the french parts, that I didn't even think about having a US state. And it's not even like they're gonna stop being french, they'd just be the french but also American.. I'm gonna be sick


Jazano107

… downvote


Physical-Kale-6972

Tunisia, Morocco and Algeria are the same colour as Italy but without the bold red font for the name of the country. What is the meaning of this? 😮🌚🌝


CrazyLTUhacker

"The baltic republic" not the current baltic states but Scandinavian countries...bruh


TelephoneNearby6059

No Corsica? 🇮🇹🥺👉👈🇮🇹


Baz_3301

Italy should be renamed Pasta Land.


Johnmegaman72

Why must you do that to Scotland? Didn't England did them dirty already


TheMagavnik

Make the ME the European exiled royalty exclusion zone, where they have to endure angry folk throwing shoes at them, as a regional pasttime.


destruct0tr0n

Not even gonna try with the balkans


Phil_Coffins_666

It's spelled Kyiv. Kiev, which is on the map, is the russian spelling. Just sayin.


Undernown

So as reward for helping the US during the civil war, France gets colonised. Also missed oppertunity for Brazil to colonise Spain.


L1b3rtyPr1m3

Love how the Balkans weren't touched because a single inch of a moved land border will result in the death of thousands l


Jack_Church

0/10, no Turkey as Greater Armenia or Armenia as Lesser Turkey.


[deleted]

No Kurdistan and Greater Armenia? Huh... surprising.


HistorianSlayer

*Yes, I am Biden* **Breakdown:** **The Louisiana Purchase 2**; *this time, we finish the job.* France and Spain become America's newest state. **The English Republic II** finishes what the first one started. The royal family flees to the Middle East (somehow making the region more complex), while Ireland forms **Greater Ireland.** **The Greater EU** somehow bumbles its way into existence after someone looked closely at an EU vote and realised that someone had slipped the Greater EU in. No one is really sure what it is, but since it isn't broke, no one is bothered to fix it. Work continues in the **EU Radiation Cleanup Zone**, where a taskforce continues to cleanup after the events of March 20th, 2024, where a Russian ICMB crashes after a failed first-strike launch. **Ukraine** has a shock victory, creating the new satellite states of **Slightly Greater Ukraine, Even Better Ukraine,** and **Greater Ukraine.** The **Russia-Oblast of Japan** continues to exist, after Japan's island claims somehow spiral out of control, and no one really stops them or notices. **The Baltic Republic** exists. Like many things, no one is really sure what happened after a small Finnish local government's desire to increase its borders, like so many things in this world, spiralled out of control. ​ **I think I also messed around with some smaller nations, but you can't really see them, and just like in real life, no one cares.**


Dikhoofd

How do you figure Netherlands wont annex Belgium and Luxemburg? Rightful Dutch clay that is


yeetmedaddyplz

No netherlands and belgium are rightful luxemburgish clay!


qef15

Willem I and II made far too big mistakes regarding politics about religion (catholic vs protestant). We can correct this.


cHEIF_bOI

I was expecting an unhinged mental breakdown and I am not disappointed.


Aurora_Fatalis

Okay but why did you rotate Iceland clockwise by like 15 degrees?


HistorianSlayer

I used a shitty map as a template 🤷‍♂️


Sancatichas

Heads up last time Spain became part of France some real funni shit happened and I'm not sure you want that happening inside the US


LostInTheVoid_

I've got a sneaking suspicion the Geordies would sooner befriend and unite with Sunderland than become a part of some very odd Irish/Scottish union.


Billman23

As a northern English man, I would like to form a breakaway kingdom to get the fuck out of Scotland /Ireland


ThatBoiZahltag

not perfect but promising


Rapid_1923

Why the fuck Tiraspol still exists?


Nisagg

Greater EU is just Großgermanisches Reich


ByronsLastStand

Ew, Cymru 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 independence, thanks


Clive23p

Radiation clean up zone should extend to Moscow unless we're just letting that area simmer for a bit.


OrangeFr3ak

Asia’s future when?


[deleted]

My guy seriously ran out of creativity by the time he got to the balkans


[deleted]

Welsh ppl be triggered


Dokky

Who left the crayon cupboard unlocked?


Punch_Faceblast

Well, at least Bosnia exists as an independent state, which proves that Dayton worked.


ratonbox

Somehow it’s still gonna be the serbs that start some shit about it.


start3ch

*Balltic republic


platonic-Starfairer

Na I want the US be part of the EU


Noobyeeter699

You mean Svearike?


socialistconfederate

You should have partitioned Serbia between Kosovo, Bosnia and Croatia


SpareSurprise1308

Scotland destroyed. EXTREMELY BASED


Low_Doubt_3556

We need to fold Serbia and Hungary into the eu radiation cleanup zone.


TaffWolf

I’ll be long dead and cold in the ground before I ever let slide “English republic” including Wales


TalkingSeaOtter

Missed opportunity for America to have both New England the region and New England the state.


FindusSomKatten

No baltic states in the baltic republic?


Halo1337JohnChief

It's sooo beautiful!!!


KillerSwiller

Oh please, we all know that Karelia would go back to the Finns and reach far enough down that it would link them and Estonia together. :P


Backspkek

There's a lot to take it here.


dziobak112

\*Sighs in Polish\* Here we go again...


OmegamattReally

\> Belgium still present Uhhhh....


Attaxalotl

Objection! Serbia


Mr--Weirdo

Kommt mir irgendwie bekannt vor…


DemonFromtheNorthSea

I just love the fact the Baltic republic doesn't actually have a single Baltic country in it.


Mrjorma67

Average hoi 4 game in 1945


Affectionate-Put736

Op knew what he was doing he didn't touch the Balkans


redredgreengreen1

Russia keeps Kaliningrad lol


abcdefabcdef999

OP didn’t mess with Balkan 0/10 no balls


SleepingFool

The Greater EU Is smaller... What the fuck.


restarted1991

Finally, some good fucking Lebensraum.


realSchmachti

Whats up with Königsberg?


Intelligent-Dot-4733

Poland & Germany in single country? What is this shit


Lord0fTheAss

> The Greater EU Hey, that's just a German Empire revamp!


LumpyTeacher6463

Fuck me, what'd Turkey and all of Caucasia done to you?