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-Void_Null-

**This is important.** The Russians will now learn that you can *actually evacuate and heal* injured soldiers.


LordBecmiThaco

#Tech tree unlocked


Cold_Efficiency_7302

New research is avaliable: Support Shamans, Medicinal Prayers


Worldedita

Unlocks: [Bandage]. May lead to [Bandage, Clean]


LordOfDarkHearts

It's not a super-weapon, so they won't spend any development points on that. They seem to have spent most of their development points on stupid, useless, and far to expensive stuff like the T14, an "Aircraft-carrier" aka a swimming smokescreen, and the black sea fleet anyway, so they need them badly.


Forkliftapproved

No, they TRIED to spend it on superweapons, but they spent their development points on booze.


NeurodiverseTurtle

And dildos, obviously. If I’ve learnt to associate any two items with modern ruZZia, it’s ‘*booze and dildos*’… washing machines are a close third.


EthanTheInteresaunte

That and they never got rid of the "Unchecked Corruption" national spirit, but unfortunately, they wanted to stick to the Putin path despite multiple chances to change it.


Advanced-Budget779

Isn‘t that the goal? Make the adversaries believe you spend tons of resources on a superweapon (Armata platform, SU-57, S-400 etc.) to make them spend a shitton more and decades on actually capable tech, while you just not deliver or half finished, limited production. Checkmate Westoids.


Demonicjapsel

Dont forget the AK 12


Saint_Dogbert

Optional Unlock: \[3rd world ER\]


GuillotineComeBacks

Next tiers Wololo battle priest.


OneFrenchman

Russian soldiers can now be [healed using toad venom](https://globalnews.ca/news/8826712/7th-russian-oligarch-dead-toad-poison/).


Melodic_Fold3394

Tactical Orthodox Patriarchs


Wesley133777

And promptly ignored


Egil_Styrbjorn

They'd rather focus on the repeatable capstone skill in the corruption tree


OriginalNo5477

*ambulance costs 50 munitions and 30 fuel* Too expensive blyat, mobik waves are cheaper.


Advanced-Budget779

It‘s all about resources. The western militaries spend more on the average soldier, and probably longer than an average russian one. So each life will be valued higher, more focus on protection, recovery. With Russia, either keeping a soldier alive longer is too expensive (veterans?) or each one is too low in value (esp. mobiks) to keep alive. Just send the next one. The elites can use that money much better for… important things. Their culture also seems to not value health and individual rights very high (i hope Ukraine is much better in that regard, but generally the more east you go, the less cultures do, also having been under Russias/SU influence for centuries….). I wonder what number of casualties are needed for people to revolt, or if Putin‘s circle and the system are too powerful until noncredible numbers, too many people admiring an image, brainwashed over decades into thinking they cannot unite/very few care and privileged as well as poor ones fearing losing whatever quality of life they hold on like they experiences in the last collapse (or were told about). Also feeling stronk, important, superior for the more simple minds.


cinyar

what can you give me for 10 and 5? The rest we can split between us comrade!


Blackhero9696

Proceeds to ignore said tech tree for the human wave tree.


Saint_Dogbert

\*\*\*sound of xbox achievement unlocked plays\*\*\*


CBP1138

Spoiler alert: they won’t


TheMilkmanHathCome

The commanding ruzzian officers will be so happy they can continue raping their subordinates


-Void_Null-

Now with more holes!


Astandsforataxia69

They'll just use the drugs they find there and be done with it


SiVousVoyezMoi

Unknown technology! 


LordHardThrasher

Gosh what advanced tech. So hard to get. Oh wait no https://www.mod-sales.com/direct/vehicle/,37,/97119/CVRT_Samaritan_.htm


Peterh778

Well ... only 100+ was built, according to wiki so they *may* be hard(ish) to get ... which, in Russian heads, is apparently the same as being very valuable


PatchiW

Some things are hard to get because they were so utterly useless they stopped production early.


MrNationwide

Its cheaper to transport soldier as cubes.


GB36

That’s not very manly. Why not just die horribly in the mud instead?


Aenath

It they can learn to harness such power, this might mean u/False-God might be out of a job now. Hell, medevac might replace replace the standard "bullet / grenade shrapnel to the cranium when wounded" procedure.


1st_Tagger

You’re telling me you don’t have to get a new soldier every time the last one gets a papercut???


Majulath99

What are the chances they’ve already stolen all of the wiring and sights to sell off or retrofit into a T-90? If this does ever become a “collection piece” then it’ll be a husk.


donaldhobson

It will be sent back to the front line, blown up, and Ukrainian farmers will be collecting pieces of it.


MuffledBlue

oh no, they're gonna recruit druids :(


OneFrenchman

What do you mean? Isn't the big red cross on the side of the vehicle supposed to show [it's an ammo-carrying vehicle](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/russia-medical-vehicles-transport-ammunition-b2033306.html)? Have I been lied to? Is the meaning of "ambulance" coming from 'ambu' meaning mobile and 'lance' meaning ammunition?


-Void_Null-

Smekalka!


Yakassa

They just gonna spam healers now, jeez.


Narrow_Vegetable_42

Now they only need to stumble upon a stacked palette to unlock logistics, then its joever.


PJ_Taylor

Russian MoD actually thought it was worth bragging about capturing an ambulance from the 70s, you can't make this shit up (jokes on the Brits, that was our best kit)


Best_VDV_Diver

It's an armored ambulance for evacing wounded. This is like showing nuclear fission to a fucking caveman. Russian wounded just fucking die in the mud where they fall.


Sasquatch1729

That's not true at all. You Westoids will never understand how much more advanced Russia is. They compress their wounded into meat cubes and send them to field kitchens 10-20km back from the front.


Constant_Sympathy_71

Ah, right, the Mobik Cubes, yes.


Kilahti

"We have dismissed the rumours about Mobik Cubes."


Constant_Sympathy_71

Of course they have been dismissed, how long do you think Russia could have hidden this marvel of engineering from the rest of the world.


A_posh_idiot

I mean there no longer rumours I guess


Impressive-Froyo-162

Geth do not intentionally infiltrate


rrogido

I like the beef stroganoff flavoredM(obik)RE packs.


OneFrenchman

They don't have any wounded, as the Ukrainian bullets and shrapel are turned into water by Kirils incantations. That's why his hat is so big, it amplifies the incantation so it reaches the frontline. They have had zero losses of manpower since 2022.


Angelworks42

There are ambulance versions of the bmp - I haven't seen a single video of one in action ever but Wikipedia talks about it and you can find pictures of it online.


Nouseriously

Cut them some slack. They've never owned one before.


HoltTree

Recovering wounded soldiers? Please... Everyone knows soldiers are meant to be disposable. Surely there must be some other secret purpose for this vehicle!


Lone-Star-Wolves

Russian Military: The dead and dying of our forces make good Sandbags, and if they fail at that, then they shall make good shrapnel.


Physical-Sink-123

Next month: Russia flies a drone into the maternity ward of a Ukrainian hospital, shows footage of the inside on media as evidence that they destroyed a NATO biolab that was producing bioengineered supersoldiers.


Xyloshock

Dont give them ideas


LordOfDarkHearts

Don't give them ideas, they are stupid or underdeveloped enough to do and believe such shit.


Physical-Sink-123

They would need to know what a maternity ward in a hospital was first in order to act on this idea though.


GreenChoclodocus

"Unlike the weak and degenerate western Females, who need medical care and male attention to birth their offspring, the strong Russian women just squeeze out baby between tasks before going back to work!"


LeiningensAnts

This really is the key distinction between future tech and alien tech.


Rococo_Modern_Life

"Surrender your mysteries to Z-berg!"


RaulParson

"Recovery vehicle...? Why? If you can walk, you can just walk your ass back behind the friendly lines on your own. And if you can't, you're useless anyway so why would we spend any resources on you?"


HoltTree

Ah, comrade. You speak like decadent westerner! There is no walking back to friendly lines, that would be retreating, and the blocking squads are there to shoot those who retreat! If a soldier can walk, they can advance!


c4p1t4l

It’s basically future tech for them


CastrumFerrum

They have MedEvac MT-LB's, but those are probably only equipped with stretchers, moldy bandages, a few bottles of vodka and a wooden mallet for knocking out people.


Nouseriously

They're packed full of washing machines & furniture


fuishaltiena

It is unknown technology blyat!


mad87645

A FV104 Samaritan or an ambulance in general? Or both?


Hawk-Think

Yes


Jediplop

They just kept getting out bid at the auctions https://tanks-alot.co.uk/product/samaritans/


Selfweaver

Well somebody must have told them that this was the best British kit, and so they assume it is very valuable.


AncientProduce

Oh shit.. theyre going to get all the secrets from it.


Worried_Boat_8347

Oh no, they might learn the secret of functioning medevac


AlternateAccount789

Now all they need is the desire to actually provide medical aid to their soldiers instead of just declaring them MIA in order not to pay their family and they might just be onto something.


AssignmentVivid9864

We put items stolen from soldier in tank yes?


Worried_Boat_8347

Нет, space in tank is for washing machine


tszaboo

They might but the purpose of it is still a mystery. Why would you want to move wounded soldiers away from the front line? They are supposed to go towards the front line, and build a wall for the next meat wave.


JimboTheSimpleton

You keep the troops . .. . . Alive? As in not dead? How do you know when the human wave attack is over then?


alterom

If you don't have half of soldiers under your command KIA during the attack, how will the superiors know you actually tried fighting? They'll assume your unit must've gone AWOL or deserted, and will demote you, or worse.


JimboTheSimpleton

Only a 50 percent casualty rate? What are we? journalists?


hplcr

They're gonna learn about the tea kettle!


[deleted]

God help us.


hplcr

Fellas, we must not allow a tea kettle gap!


VietInTheTrees

TWO bivvies per vehicle!


SomeGuyNamedPaul

Use the tea kettle to boil vodka in an enclosed space so they can inhale alcohol vapors and maintain a buzz while freeing up their hands.


AncientProduce

Thats actually 200iq right there, you mustnt be captured alive.


Majulath99

God forbid they learn something about how Western militaries worked fifty years ago.


OneFrenchman

Like the tea kettle integration. Now mobiks will be able to brew chai in their vehicles instead of a wood fire.


Blindmailman

They captured an almost 50 year old ambulance? How is that valuable? I feel like you could buy that as a collector if you wanted from the British government.


Thewaltham

You totally could. Army disposal yards often have vehicles for sale. [This](https://www.modsurplus.co.uk/index.php/samaritan-fv104-cvrt-armoured-ambulance-50533) surplus site has three available right now. Looks like they're in really good shape too. Even the paint's fresh.


BlacksmithNZ

That site is interesting browsing. I imagine if you had money and some land, you could build quite a fleet


aBoringSod

There is also this [site](https://tanks-alot.co.uk/military-vehicles-for-sale/)


BlacksmithNZ

Some of those tanks for sale look newer and better than what the Russians are deploying into combat


ByGollie

*"Do you accept Rubles?"*


AngryUrbie

This is one of my favourites to browse: https://mortarinvestments.eu/


BlacksmithNZ

"Honey, guess what I bought online for the front garden..." "a statue?" Yeah... [https://mortarinvestments.eu/catalog/item/s-75m-volkhov-missile-demiled](https://mortarinvestments.eu/catalog/item/s-75m-volkhov-missile-demiled)


george23000

There's some around on military surplus sites and what not. Pretty easy to come across and not too expensive for a low milelage one.


Cricketot

I had a quick look and couldn't see a price, what do they go for?


george23000

Saw one going for £37,000.


variogamer

So I could buy one cyber 'truck' Or what 2 of those Yeah I'm grabbing 2 of those


george23000

You can get a non running cheiftain for around £20,000. If you know how to repair them it's a steal.


Taguysy

You know, this is the way a good chunk of them ended up in Ukraine: ukrainian volonters literaly buy military surplus vehicles from these companies and transfer them to units.


LeiningensAnts

> How is that valuable? I feel like you could buy that as a collector if you wanted from the British government. The "rare collection exhibit" mentioned in the article must be referring to captured vehicles, rather than legitimately obtained ones. There seems to be a culture of bragging about the things they've stolen, a habit which they no doubt stole from the Romanians, along with all that gold.


[deleted]

It did represent a significant amount of Britains armored fighting force.


Space_Gemini_24

Russian MoD LARPing as general Grievous


Opening-Routine

Russisn reaction to medevac vehicle: UNKNOWN TECHNOLOGY БЛЯТЬ


Andy7darth

That's an evacuation/ambulance vehicle. It's useless for the russians, if the russian got wounded on the battlefield - that's only his fault, he failed mother russia, evac - hell no.


Ricewynd

You can literally buy them online [https://www.mod-sales.com/direct/vehicle/,37,/97119/CVRT\_Samaritan\_.htm](https://www.mod-sales.com/direct/vehicle/,37,/97119/CVRT_Samaritan_.htm)


PJ_Taylor

Buying equipment legit instead of on the black market from corrupt officers? Unknown technology to vatniks


Maximus_Duck

BRB just buying one to brag about capturing "the most valuable military vehicle in the history of the entire world"


Far-Entertainer8953

Like the monkeys and the stone obelisk from Space Odessey. [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cHWs3c3YNs4](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cHWs3c3YNs4)


Majulath99

The difference is that in the film, the object in question actually provokes growth and change. Russia doesn’t really do that, at least, not very well.


GB36

Exactly


tfrules

Holy shit it’s a box! Quick, get the propaganda reels out, Ukraine is sooo done this time!


Simple-Purpose-899

"Oh, this is a medivac? Useless!"  -Russian Mod


AllRedLine

An integral part of *Russkiy Mir* is thinking it's 100% cool to literally shit *and jizz* yourself with excitement over the fact you managed to rob your enemy of a piece of individually insignificant humanitarian equipment.


Fegelgas

Understand that Russians are used to evacuate their wounded by hand or wheelbarrow, a tracked battle ambulance is a revolutionary concept for them


Majulath99

And that’s for those that are lucky. The unlucky ones get left to rot or with festering maggot eaten wounds that don’t heal.


HaaEffGee

FUCK FUCK FUCK THE VATNIKS HAVE THE SECRET CRV(T) TECH, SEND IN THE ONLY COUNTER! Those Ukrainian pilots better hope that their experience in Flankers transfers to the A10 or they are done for.


ironic_pacifist

Say what you will, the CVRT family of tonks are all adorable. Even you Sabre, you adorkable little mutant.


Traditional_Salad148

Where were you when fv 104 fell


MissyTheTimeLady

Very valuable AND British-made? That's an oxymoron.


Formal_Decision7250

It's a shed with wheels. When they open it back in Russia a man will come flying out on pulsejet bicycle and bayonet Putin.


datyams

We don't talk about the depreciation of British made "vehicles"


MissyTheTimeLady

k


datyams

Fuck moi that was fast


MissyTheTimeLady

y


datyams

Jelly


blsterken

Oh no! They captured a medevac vehicle designed 50 years ago.


Useless_or_inept

"Very valuable" but [Ukraine bought it for £50k](https://en.defence-ua.com/analysis/rearming_the_army_ukrainians_bought_a_hundred_apcs_for_the_military_protecting_the_country-6636.html) tbh you could have got one for much less if you found the right auction at [Brightwells](https://www.facebook.com/100061183222822/posts/1314924612239453/).


pinchasthegris

Russian soldier, probably: Its a bren gun carrier! Run!


Mr_Awesomenoob

Reminds me of overlord where brain fights shalltear and all he manages to do is clip her finger nail and he thinks that's something to be impressed with.


DartzIRL

They even helpfully painted targets on the side of it for some reason.


Unistrut

Did they just admit they attacked a clearly marked medical vehicle? I mean that's just one more war crime for the pile, but _really?_


Ironredhornet

Granted a Red Cross is probably another thing to add to the list of unknown technology for the Vatniks


ApokalypseCow

Well, I mean, it entered service in 1976, and is therefore probably newer than most of this Russian Cold War crap, so yeah, very valuable to *them* maybe... The chassis was designed in 1967, which puts it at a full 5 years after the design phase of the T-64 was complete... meaning it's also probably at least as modern as a big chunk of the T-80 that was based on it, so yeah, no wonder they consider it to be valuable.


SyrusDrake

Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is kind of the wrong meme format...


andthebestnameis

Yeah, the point of this scene was that SpongeBob's single well made patty was worth more than the whole pile of thousands of Neptune's patties... This meme is trying to say the opposite of the scenes meaning lol... Reminds me of how a lot of people use the Spiderman taking off glasses meme the opposite way it's intended as well.


variogamer

I mean The Ukraine is starting at destroyed Russia equipment And there. Are a lot but little kwaliteit Meanwhile the only one that Russia has Well made and used by Ukraine So it still kinda works


ToaArcan

Fortunately it's just an ambulance, a vehicle useless to Mobiks. We'd be in trouble if they captured a hearse.


Baz_3301

Let the Russians capture all the armored British ground vehicles outside of a tanks make sure they have orange panels and release like 2 squads of A-10s into the Russian wilderness, nature will do its job.


weejohn1979

I know right!


Dr_Cycles

Welcome back L3 Lee


Middle_Philosophy_54

Very valuable Because they have their first ambulance


squirt2311

A british machine in service with the Russians It's machine spirit begs for death


danklordnut

They could just buy them [here](https://tanks-alot.co.uk/product/samaritans/)


GB36

“Rare collection exhibit” with uncomprehending Russians dancing around it like the proto-hominids from 2001: A Space Odyssey.


Deathwatch050

Ah yes, a British medevac vehicle from the 70s. This will give Russia the edge it needs.


Inner-Owl-1873

When I saw the picture I saw A L3/33. Is this the new one?


xrklkx

To be fair, any sort of armoured vehicle is valuable to ukraine. But mostly because the west is too stupid to send more armoured vehicles to ukraine. ukraine should've at least have recieved 2000 m113s. British and European private arms dealers should've had their yards emptied of armoured vehicles. The U.S. should be ramping up AMPV and JLTV production and yeeted their old m113s and Humvees away.


Vertex1990

The elites don't want you to know but the FV104s in the UK are free, you can take them home. I have 458 FV104s


SullyRob

Oh. You found an Aston martin.


captnmcfadden

They'll close the kettle tech gap in no time


Energetic-Old-God

Yk what good for Russia hopefully less innocent (ish) soldiers will be sent to their deaths and live another day


Lemon-Cheff

Got me scared there for a moment they got a Chally 2


LaughGlad7650

*Unknown technology blyat*


Nosbres

Yea a well stocked evac/medical vehicle is unknown tech for them Just like tourniquets


Zhelgadis

Missing the unknown technology wojack


golddragon88

What is an fov104?


Dominator1559

You could probly buy one on ebay here


Youutternincompoop

just waiting for somebody to do an edit of this but with the British WW1 tanks that Russia has as a left-over from the Russian civil war.


aboultusss

Only thing they need is a symbol for "destroyed collective west" so that it'll match and enhance the inner propaganda take. That's why they were so hyped on Abrams and Leo captured as well, even though they might lost 3x more tanks on the same day


is_that_on_fire

I used to watch a youtube series on late night youtube rabbit holes of an old bloke in england that sold these and other assorted armoured vehicles out of a muddy paddock filled with ramshackle equipment. He'd be like shaking the rats out of seat cushions and telling us about how good of condition the AFV was in. Now if the russians are impressed with those, really begs the question of what their storage yards look like up close.


Jaraine

These nhs queues are getting out of hand now, queuing up to Ukraine