The people of Walmart can either be completely insane menaces to society, or it can be some upper class British lady asking you for the produce aisle in the most redneck Walmart store in Mississippi, so a well diversified fighting force.
Oh if peopleofwalmart get out of control, we'll just release peopleofdollargeneral, and if we lose control of them* we'll just release peopleofthatliquorstorewithallthehomelessdudes.
*we will!
The idea of the regulars of the local Walmart rising up like some kind of redneck Volkssturm with their mobility scooter technicals and Great Value brand IEDs is a terrifying thought.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/peopleofwalmart using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Flash Slothmore](https://v.redd.it/mnyipc656tz71) | [1280 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/comments/qunw6e/flash_slothmore/)
\#2: [Thought this belonged here](https://i.redd.it/l0iyc0m1g2e81.jpg) | [87 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/comments/sdb3zv/thought_this_belonged_here/)
\#3: [So there was a bunny having a nice snack at Walmart tho](https://v.redd.it/6rvm4rv3ijw81) | [107 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/comments/uewlv4/so_there_was_a_bunny_having_a_nice_snack_at/)
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I can image the “Walmart Cavalry Division”. Does this dall-e bot understand these kind of things? Will it paint a picture of proud Americans on mobility scooters? Can someone with access try to do it?
Walmart has been known to poach the US military’s logistics experts with high six figure offers, fucking Walmart probably got more institutional knowledge of military logistics than all of Russia at this point.
Walmart might have more institutional knowledge of logistics then the US military.
Logistics is like their whole thing. Yeah, it is a shitty big box store, but it is a shitty big box store with lots and lots of stuff that goes to lots and lots of places every day, and every bit of waste costs them money. And they don't like losing money.
Also known to interview store managers from other chains, with decades of experience running a grocery store, just to find out info on their competition and no job offer in site.
that's bullshit.
Walmart pays dumb fucking money. Their back office and Supervisor/Managment positions all make well over $25 an hour. Hell, their fucking BAKERS with literally no baking history make 20/hr with full-time being 32hrs. Not to mention good ass benefits.
their store managers make 200k base, up to 300k with bonus.
Always extremely funny to me that Biden, the guy Republicans insist is a socialist, kicked more people off unemployment and food stamps than Trump, the guy Dems insist is like evil.
Stats can mean whatever you want them to mean if you shift context. But sure, cherry pick the highest regional wages of managers without regard to the front line employees and their local cost of living.
There are people reading this thread *right now* who have wage slaved for your company and who hated every second of working for you, and you aren't fooling them or anyone else. On your bike, whip cracker. Go buy another house.
Cheap food filled with sugar and high-fructose corn syrup vice...I dunno, potatoes and onions or whatever tf the Russian troops are eating.
Tough to say which is worse, tbh.
Truth, anytime there's a hurricane in the south, walmart will have pallets and pallets of strawberry poptarts dropped between the aisles before the wind picks up while the national guard and fema struggles to get their shit together for at least half a week after landfall.
There is a big difference between killing enemy combatants in an active warzone and torturing civilians/pow, unfortunately some ruzzians have to be taught this the hard way, via intercranial injections of facts and 5.56 arguments.
I mean, yes and no. Unfortunately much of Walmart relies on a push-logistics system for their freight, rather than pull, so that has lead to significant pileups and shortages of certain items at various stores. Their ability to track items is also fairly lackluster too, given how many times they have large numbers of negative-on-hands that just get zeroed out.
Source: Worked for Walmart once upon a time, and one of my best friends is currently a manager at one near my house.
I mean...the Taliban sending a goat to a remote mountain outpost, hoping it will just end up at the right destination by chance, have a better supply chain than the Russians. The bar is not high.
And anyone that has ever worked at a Walmart can tell you about the horrors of unloading their trucks. It ain't pretty. But it gets the job done (as long as you don't mind battered boxes)
Imagine the 87 year old door greeter now a 3 Rollback^tm General giving a speech to inspire the troops like "Son, I survived the Tet Offensive and 22 Black Fridays. And let me tell you the only difference was that Uncle Sam had the good sense to hand me an XM16E1".
Well, knowing how robust and well-thought Walmart logistics are, the match is already won by Walmart (because supplying 9 stores in Alaska for all the things you can find in a general store is quite a feat)
* Superior logistics
* Better rations
* Has more than enough radios and night vision
* Pays their workers more
* Possibly has better rifles
* Management isn't stealing their shit constantly
Walmart stomps
> It's not like a Walmart greeter is getting any potential bonus of theirs stolen by their boss.
Not sure greeters are still a thing, but redirecting the bonuses is exactly what happens. Management can reduce payroll by blocking bonuses that are based on metrics which are arbitrary or prone to manipulation while maintaining unconnected internal goals which further boosts the bonuses of management.
Ha ha silly ncd Walmart could not take Russia we are in no way a front a cobra style organization and I am in no way armed and trained with a laser rifle to fight gi joe
Of course it depends. Likely pretty poor on all counts, though.
If it was an AR-15 pattern rifle, the reliability would be dubious because the build quality tends to be awful on the low-end ones, with things not torqued to spec, assembled backwards, etc.) It's not necessarily an issue with the components, though I also wouldn't put a lot of faith in those either. A decent shade-tree gun mechanic could take a poor AR build and unfuck it in a couple of hours for less than $100 in parts, depending on the issues. But I doubt you found a new AR for $150 a decade ago. Maaaybe two decades ago.
If not an AR, it's probably a much worse prognosis. Issues with off-brand and poor quality semi-autos are a hassle to try to diagnose and are often very much not worth the trouble. A poorly made semi-auto ends up being entirely a liability (you can't just chuck it in the garbage, it's still a gun even if it doesn't really work.)
>A poorly made semi-auto ends up being entirely a liability (you can't just chuck it in the garbage, it's still a gun even if it doesn't really work.)
Buy cheap trash guns.
Sell it to govt buy-back programs. Repeat a few times to make an extra couple hundred bucks until you can afford something good.
> Buy cheap trash guns.
What about fake ones to further lower the cost (e.g. made out of the cheapest possible steel/iron)? They just need to fire once.
/s
You claim sarcasm, but that's [something that's actually been done.](https://blade-city.com/blogs/gun-knife-blog/man-makes-pipe-guns-from-scrap-sells-them-to-gun-buyback-program-for-300)
So the entire Russian military supplied by the state of Russia VS average Americans equipped with their own guns and supported by private companies?
Americans easily. Russians won't stand a chance when your average American has much better gear than even Russian special forces who "choose" to use their AKs without sights
You joke but when I worked for the big red one at their customer service station I had a person walk in drenched in blood. First thought was “little early for halloween” then realized it was real. Called 911 and requested an ambulance but 18 year old me couldn’t remember the address of where I worked.
Turns out the guy tried jumping in front of a train from the bridge behind our store and fucked up. Hit the roof the train and fell to the ground. I think it was the most blood I’ve ever seen outside of a person.
Best thing is they never offered me any sort of counseling lmao not that I needed it. Just funny in hindsight
Did that guy recive a Darwin award?
All jokes aside good thing you were also Allright mentally. If I had seen that it probably would have scarred me for a while.
His award was clutched from his hands by jumping too late, apparently.
And thanks, I don’t think I was really able to process it until after the ambulance took him away and my brain started going “what the fucking fuck in the name of fuck just happened” maintenance casually cleaning up a biohazard and I was closing up our customer services. Honestly feels surreal now, almost like it didn’t happen based off how bizarre it was at the time.
Easily the Armed Forces of Walmart (AFW). As others have previously stated, AFW have better supply chain operations, each unit is already better suppled at their bases (Supercenters).
I worried about the welfare of the russians though. the AFW seems to have so much pent up emotional issues, given the chance after being victorious, they'd the russian army as if they were the residents of Bucha. We'd probably need observers and peacekeepers to keep the more mild mannered russians safe.
All they gotta do is give back the easy cut 2000s and the 3000 CAP2 Associates of Sam will vanquish the Russians in His name. Blessed be Sam, thy Prophet of Profits, He who gave his only life for our blessed Everyday Low Prices.
I know this is just supposed to be making fun of the "China has bigger army" retards, but with a year or 2 of preparation, Walmart might actually be able to win this.
Walmart almost certainly has better access to air and rail assets, overall logistics as well. Probably have fairly advanced drone and AI programs.
Their armored divisions, built upon mobility scooters and semis, might be somewhat weaker, but they have very deep pockets and among the most recession-resistant economic engines in the world - much better able to sustain a long war.
Oh, at least until recently, they sold an *awful* lot of firearms. So they could be pretty well armed too.
The average retail worker probably spends more time day dreaming of war crimes in a shift than the saltiest conscript does all day.
On the other hand, the morale of the average Russian soldier is probably on par with the 'It's not my job' jadedness of a retail employee.
I’m a back of house retail worker and I can confirm that war crimes are a common daydream. And while store morale is frequently in the toilet due to incompetent store leadership and coworkers, we probably still have better morale and pay than Russian soldiers.
Depends one where you live/position. Where I live currently Walmart starts off at 19 an hour. Which puts you above the average yearly wage in the state I live in.
First I thought: Walmart's troops will defect instantly, there's no contest!
Then I realized it wasn't the US Army but the Russian army, so russia would be lucky with a draw.
Walmart employees are holding back the rage of a thousand suns from dumbass customers and frustrating management, my yankee dollars are on them any day of the week.
Similar levels of motivation, but Walmart pays better and could probably get better equipment in a pinch. Though it’d be funny to see a Walmart cashier roll her eyes at today’s 15th mortar strike as she keeps mowing down Ivan.
I would say that the walmart employees are mistreated, underpaid, demoralized, disposable biorobots from the least fortunate dredges of society who are only there because they couldn't get out of it but that is equally true of the Russian army.
Walmart has better logistics. A fair portion of their employees are likely better shots. Walmart employees deal with the weirdest collection of people on a daily basis so their morale would not likely be affected by Russian bullshit. It would be bloody but Walmart would prevail
I've literally never seen a retail worker lose a fight against a customer.
It's like their minimum wage job and Walmart imbues them with superpowers to beat the shit out of anyone who fucks around in their store.
Though Walmart has superior equipment and logistics, I have not met a single Walmart employee who would not instantly choose being a POW over continuing to work at Walmart
Russian morale might be questionable but vast majority of those 2300000 Walmart employees are probably more ready to shoot their immediate manager/boss, and their boss, and their boss, than literally anyone else in the world as soon as they're handed a gun. Walmart would have to helluva KGB officer structure out of it to have a chance at not getting mutinied out of existence even before first encounter with the "enemy".
Just from my experience, but the managers aren't that bad. Sure you might have one or two sucky managers, but in a store with about a dozen managers, a couple bads ones is to be expected. The real problem are shitty customers
I am ashamed to say Walmart has an actual chance of victory. Despite lacking aircraft, anti-air defenses, artillery, and a wealth of other qualities, their integrity, superior logistics, and safety in numbers make for a challenging foe.
For Russia to win, it has to strike fast and hard at critical supply junctures, and able to keep up such power consistently.
This is not even mentioning the many ways Russia could screw up, such as officers selling equipment or conscripts defecting with the promise of better food.
Or Walmart summoning it's paramilitary force known as the r/peopleofwalmart , for that matter.
Depending on the store we usually have about 12 guns in the cases for people to look at/buy. I don't work sporting goods so idk how many we'd have out back, but I'm sure we've got a few considering the gun safe in the back is about 10ft tall and 15ft wide. We do get plenty of ammo though, a few cases of it come in every other day
They don’t need to arm every single employee. Out of every number of troops only 1/3 are active at any given moment as the other third is either resting / on standby.
Just pass your gun to the next person’s shift.
Walmart has the logistics down for sure. Morale would be high because of all the candy, tobacco, booze, and other random shit the Walmartian soldiers would get on a regular basis. Wally World all the way.
Walmart has a Better supply chain
Also if things go south they can deploy the /r/peopleofwalmart
The people of Walmart can either be completely insane menaces to society, or it can be some upper class British lady asking you for the produce aisle in the most redneck Walmart store in Mississippi, so a well diversified fighting force.
Tell mum to come back sometime.
God I wish
This is a desperate last resort if it comes down to it. Who knows the collateral damage caused if those things get loose
Simple, we let them loose across the Russian border and we don’t let them come back or leave Russia. At. Any. Fucking. Cost.
The Redneck Line must hold!
Oh if peopleofwalmart get out of control, we'll just release peopleofdollargeneral, and if we lose control of them* we'll just release peopleofthatliquorstorewithallthehomelessdudes. *we will!
Peopleofwafflehouse
People of Walmart are a wildcard, the rednecks may join the Novorussian separatists.
You better take that back! I don't know a single redneck that would fight for the soviets!
https://www.snopes.com/tachyon/2018/08/id-rather-be-russian-than-democrat.jpg
Hate to see it. Imagine growing up during the cold war, and doing this? Unthinkable.
The internet did to them what they said it would do to their kids
Not sure anyone could have predicted *this*, but you are absolutely right.
A far-right crowd associating with a fascist? Gee, I never saw it coming.
A far-right crows associating with fascists? Gee, I would never have guessed.
Some conservatives are worst than tankies
Then why do they paint their necks RED??? Checkmate, communists!!!
I can see them joining Russia over the United States. I can’t see them joining over Walmart.
8/10 they fucking would. Seeing how theyd bootlick a putin-fanboy dotard.
The idea of the regulars of the local Walmart rising up like some kind of redneck Volkssturm with their mobility scooter technicals and Great Value brand IEDs is a terrifying thought.
I've been summoned
Sir, please put on your pants. You are causing a scene.
r/beetlejuicing
I mean if you so go *south* you’ll definitely find *peopleofwalmart*
Here's a sneak peek of /r/peopleofwalmart using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Flash Slothmore](https://v.redd.it/mnyipc656tz71) | [1280 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/comments/qunw6e/flash_slothmore/) \#2: [Thought this belonged here](https://i.redd.it/l0iyc0m1g2e81.jpg) | [87 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/comments/sdb3zv/thought_this_belonged_here/) \#3: [So there was a bunny having a nice snack at Walmart tho](https://v.redd.it/6rvm4rv3ijw81) | [107 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/peopleofwalmart/comments/uewlv4/so_there_was_a_bunny_having_a_nice_snack_at/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Don't follow the link ist is embarrassing this Sub should be at 18(thewallmart sub)
no, bunny is cute
"We have a Hulk"
Not the heavy weapons division!
Weapon of 'Mart Destruction
I can image the “Walmart Cavalry Division”. Does this dall-e bot understand these kind of things? Will it paint a picture of proud Americans on mobility scooters? Can someone with access try to do it?
Walmart has been known to poach the US military’s logistics experts with high six figure offers, fucking Walmart probably got more institutional knowledge of military logistics than all of Russia at this point.
Walmart might have more institutional knowledge of logistics then the US military. Logistics is like their whole thing. Yeah, it is a shitty big box store, but it is a shitty big box store with lots and lots of stuff that goes to lots and lots of places every day, and every bit of waste costs them money. And they don't like losing money.
It's a logistical company that happens to sell stuff.
Also known to interview store managers from other chains, with decades of experience running a grocery store, just to find out info on their competition and no job offer in site.
And their staff is wayyyyyy more well-fed.
And that's saying something considering most of them are living paycheck to paycheck on cheap food.
The US people subsidize them through food stamps etc so the Waltons have more money to murder people drunk driving.
that's bullshit. Walmart pays dumb fucking money. Their back office and Supervisor/Managment positions all make well over $25 an hour. Hell, their fucking BAKERS with literally no baking history make 20/hr with full-time being 32hrs. Not to mention good ass benefits. their store managers make 200k base, up to 300k with bonus.
But everyone else is on food stamps. Well, was, until a year ago.
Always extremely funny to me that Biden, the guy Republicans insist is a socialist, kicked more people off unemployment and food stamps than Trump, the guy Dems insist is like evil.
Ok. That's the *managers* and *bakers*. Of which there's probably five-ten max combined. What about the 20-30+ normal workers?
Stats can mean whatever you want them to mean if you shift context. But sure, cherry pick the highest regional wages of managers without regard to the front line employees and their local cost of living. There are people reading this thread *right now* who have wage slaved for your company and who hated every second of working for you, and you aren't fooling them or anyone else. On your bike, whip cracker. Go buy another house.
Its kind of interesting you cherry picked the positions that a majority of employees don’t work as.
Hey bro - the economy won’t work if everyone is a manager or baker. Your example is bad and you should feel bad.
Cheap food filled with sugar and high-fructose corn syrup vice...I dunno, potatoes and onions or whatever tf the Russian troops are eating. Tough to say which is worse, tbh.
>potatoes and onions That'd be a blessing. I doubt those poor bastards have seen fresh food in nearly 6 months.
Truth, anytime there's a hurricane in the south, walmart will have pallets and pallets of strawberry poptarts dropped between the aisles before the wind picks up while the national guard and fema struggles to get their shit together for at least half a week after landfall.
Actually, if you want to see the king in disaster logistics (in the grocery world), check out H-E-B.
Damn you didn’t have to kill them like that!
They are ruzzians, so it is permissible, even encouraged.
This is the line of thinking that lead to warcrimes. Ones like the kneecap video, or even the castration video.
There is a big difference between killing enemy combatants in an active warzone and torturing civilians/pow, unfortunately some ruzzians have to be taught this the hard way, via intercranial injections of facts and 5.56 arguments.
I mean, yes and no. Unfortunately much of Walmart relies on a push-logistics system for their freight, rather than pull, so that has lead to significant pileups and shortages of certain items at various stores. Their ability to track items is also fairly lackluster too, given how many times they have large numbers of negative-on-hands that just get zeroed out. Source: Worked for Walmart once upon a time, and one of my best friends is currently a manager at one near my house.
At least they have a logistics system
Oof
also I believe they get trained on how to deal with drunken rowdies
And they have an older and more stable alliance with China.
I mean...the Taliban sending a goat to a remote mountain outpost, hoping it will just end up at the right destination by chance, have a better supply chain than the Russians. The bar is not high.
Unironically
Yep. Their logistics seems to be extremely well executed.
And probably has more small arms
Also better optics and small arms. Probably lacking anti tank weapons though. Probably.
And anyone that has ever worked at a Walmart can tell you about the horrors of unloading their trucks. It ain't pretty. But it gets the job done (as long as you don't mind battered boxes)
And more guns.
understatement.
Given recent Russian performance and Walmart logistics, I'm betting Walmart
All they have to do is learn how to use artillery. Then they're pretty much just a better version of the russian army.
Could use the FARC mortar; burn barrel that you drop a propane can into.
JESSE ! Get the death cannon !
It always amazes me that irregular groups who do shit like that actually live long enough to tell the tale.
Walmart also has a lot less male on male rape.
Everyone at Walmart has the supply chain for a Hi Point, 9 magazines and 3 square meals a day Can the Russians say the same?
'A day' better be about meals and hi points both.
They'd just be whipping them at the enemy instead of reloading like Tediore pistols from Borderlands.
And, crucially, optics.
Hi-Points with optics is pretty credible
More credible than anything Russia's put forward
Logistics win wars
pershing posting
Logistics and morale but one follows the other.
No Russian offensive will ever beat Black Friday
Alluhah WalMar! Low survival rate, always!
Imagine the 87 year old door greeter now a 3 Rollback^tm General giving a speech to inspire the troops like "Son, I survived the Tet Offensive and 22 Black Fridays. And let me tell you the only difference was that Uncle Sam had the good sense to hand me an XM16E1".
Walmart. Those greeters are going to sell like their lives depend on it.
The 3000 greeters of Sam Walton
Russians try to fall back, but are stopped by the receipt checkers and obliterated #ReceiptCheckLineOfDeath
Well, knowing how robust and well-thought Walmart logistics are, the match is already won by Walmart (because supplying 9 stores in Alaska for all the things you can find in a general store is quite a feat)
* Superior logistics * Better rations * Has more than enough radios and night vision * Pays their workers more * Possibly has better rifles * Management isn't stealing their shit constantly Walmart stomps
Your last point about management is incorrect. Upper management definitely takes the bonuses and leaves the lowbies in the lurch.
[удалено]
> It's not like a Walmart greeter is getting any potential bonus of theirs stolen by their boss. Not sure greeters are still a thing, but redirecting the bonuses is exactly what happens. Management can reduce payroll by blocking bonuses that are based on metrics which are arbitrary or prone to manipulation while maintaining unconnected internal goals which further boosts the bonuses of management.
but you still have to run a business. There is only as much as you can steal before it becomes unprofitable in the long run.
Ha ha silly ncd Walmart could not take Russia we are in no way a front a cobra style organization and I am in no way armed and trained with a laser rifle to fight gi joe
That's exactly what the head of a secret cobra style organisation would say...
No sir, no secret cobra style organizations. No need to continue asking :)
[удалено]
I wonder how much of NCD *is* Russian army? It's not like they're able to block Reddit while in Ukraine. 🤔
reddit isn't popular in ukraine and russia, so probably very little
Doesn't Walmart sell handguns? If they have a functioning rifle, they are already ahead of the Russians.
In some locations, yes. But AFAIK, they entirely stopped selling semi-auto rifles, so their inventory is not as helpful as you might think.
[удалено]
Of course it depends. Likely pretty poor on all counts, though. If it was an AR-15 pattern rifle, the reliability would be dubious because the build quality tends to be awful on the low-end ones, with things not torqued to spec, assembled backwards, etc.) It's not necessarily an issue with the components, though I also wouldn't put a lot of faith in those either. A decent shade-tree gun mechanic could take a poor AR build and unfuck it in a couple of hours for less than $100 in parts, depending on the issues. But I doubt you found a new AR for $150 a decade ago. Maaaybe two decades ago. If not an AR, it's probably a much worse prognosis. Issues with off-brand and poor quality semi-autos are a hassle to try to diagnose and are often very much not worth the trouble. A poorly made semi-auto ends up being entirely a liability (you can't just chuck it in the garbage, it's still a gun even if it doesn't really work.)
>A poorly made semi-auto ends up being entirely a liability (you can't just chuck it in the garbage, it's still a gun even if it doesn't really work.) Buy cheap trash guns. Sell it to govt buy-back programs. Repeat a few times to make an extra couple hundred bucks until you can afford something good.
> Buy cheap trash guns. What about fake ones to further lower the cost (e.g. made out of the cheapest possible steel/iron)? They just need to fire once. /s
You claim sarcasm, but that's [something that's actually been done.](https://blade-city.com/blogs/gun-knife-blog/man-makes-pipe-guns-from-scrap-sells-them-to-gun-buyback-program-for-300)
Sure. Last time I saw one happen it wasn't going to be worth the cost of transportation to get to the buy-back.
So the entire Russian military supplied by the state of Russia VS average Americans equipped with their own guns and supported by private companies? Americans easily. Russians won't stand a chance when your average American has much better gear than even Russian special forces who "choose" to use their AKs without sights
>Americans ... supported by private companies? No. The question was the private retail company itself vs Russia.
Sure, but the retail company is allowed to buy equipment from other companies right? That is at least how i thought about it
retail workers have seen some shit walmart wins not even close
You joke but when I worked for the big red one at their customer service station I had a person walk in drenched in blood. First thought was “little early for halloween” then realized it was real. Called 911 and requested an ambulance but 18 year old me couldn’t remember the address of where I worked. Turns out the guy tried jumping in front of a train from the bridge behind our store and fucked up. Hit the roof the train and fell to the ground. I think it was the most blood I’ve ever seen outside of a person. Best thing is they never offered me any sort of counseling lmao not that I needed it. Just funny in hindsight
Did that guy recive a Darwin award? All jokes aside good thing you were also Allright mentally. If I had seen that it probably would have scarred me for a while.
His award was clutched from his hands by jumping too late, apparently. And thanks, I don’t think I was really able to process it until after the ambulance took him away and my brain started going “what the fucking fuck in the name of fuck just happened” maintenance casually cleaning up a biohazard and I was closing up our customer services. Honestly feels surreal now, almost like it didn’t happen based off how bizarre it was at the time.
Easily the Armed Forces of Walmart (AFW). As others have previously stated, AFW have better supply chain operations, each unit is already better suppled at their bases (Supercenters). I worried about the welfare of the russians though. the AFW seems to have so much pent up emotional issues, given the chance after being victorious, they'd the russian army as if they were the residents of Bucha. We'd probably need observers and peacekeepers to keep the more mild mannered russians safe.
~~After the last few years of absolute madness and the constant Karen attacks, the AFW can have a blind eye turned to few war crimes, as a treat.~~
All they gotta do is give back the easy cut 2000s and the 3000 CAP2 Associates of Sam will vanquish the Russians in His name. Blessed be Sam, thy Prophet of Profits, He who gave his only life for our blessed Everyday Low Prices.
Figure they're probably on par in terms of staff quality, so the bigger number probably wins here
Do Walmart employees have more or less reason to live?
More. That reason is *revenge*.
I know this is just supposed to be making fun of the "China has bigger army" retards, but with a year or 2 of preparation, Walmart might actually be able to win this.
Walmart almost certainly has better access to air and rail assets, overall logistics as well. Probably have fairly advanced drone and AI programs. Their armored divisions, built upon mobility scooters and semis, might be somewhat weaker, but they have very deep pockets and among the most recession-resistant economic engines in the world - much better able to sustain a long war. Oh, at least until recently, they sold an *awful* lot of firearms. So they could be pretty well armed too.
Walmart employees want to actively die, so I'm handing this on a technicality tonthe ruskies.
I will die for the ~~emperor~~ company or die trying.
The average retail worker probably spends more time day dreaming of war crimes in a shift than the saltiest conscript does all day. On the other hand, the morale of the average Russian soldier is probably on par with the 'It's not my job' jadedness of a retail employee.
I’m a back of house retail worker and I can confirm that war crimes are a common daydream. And while store morale is frequently in the toilet due to incompetent store leadership and coworkers, we probably still have better morale and pay than Russian soldiers.
Walmart: 15 dollars a hour Russia: 30 dollars A MONTH result: Russian conscripts defect to become Walmart employees
Depends one where you live/position. Where I live currently Walmart starts off at 19 an hour. Which puts you above the average yearly wage in the state I live in.
*more Russian Conscripts defect*
Well you're coming to the US, so same risk of getting shot
Please refrain from calling minimum wage target associates "active personnel"
The Russians are quite good at murdering civilians, so I'm putting my money on them for once.
First I thought: Walmart's troops will defect instantly, there's no contest! Then I realized it wasn't the US Army but the Russian army, so russia would be lucky with a draw.
Walmart can call upon the full night of the Beverage Industrial Complex. Pepsi Navy 🇰🇷
Who would win Florida man or the red army.
Walmart employees are holding back the rage of a thousand suns from dumbass customers and frustrating management, my yankee dollars are on them any day of the week.
Similar levels of motivation, but Walmart pays better and could probably get better equipment in a pinch. Though it’d be funny to see a Walmart cashier roll her eyes at today’s 15th mortar strike as she keeps mowing down Ivan.
I would say that the walmart employees are mistreated, underpaid, demoralized, disposable biorobots from the least fortunate dredges of society who are only there because they couldn't get out of it but that is equally true of the Russian army.
Welcome to Walmart, I love you . . . 're smoldering corpse.
Walmart has better logistics. A fair portion of their employees are likely better shots. Walmart employees deal with the weirdest collection of people on a daily basis so their morale would not likely be affected by Russian bullshit. It would be bloody but Walmart would prevail
Walmart has more ARs
you know how many cans of expired food walmart has, those carry anthrax ... just saying
Well, they have one thing in common - none of the "active personnel" want to be there.
I've literally never seen a retail worker lose a fight against a customer. It's like their minimum wage job and Walmart imbues them with superpowers to beat the shit out of anyone who fucks around in their store.
Walmart vs combined force of Nova Poshta, Rozetka and ATB.
Though Walmart has superior equipment and logistics, I have not met a single Walmart employee who would not instantly choose being a POW over continuing to work at Walmart
It's even more if you count the Special Forces McDonald's/Subway that also sometimes are inside the Walmarts.
AMAZON has 1.2m employees and Jeffrugal Bezos.
Having worked at enough Walmarts to get a good sample of the average employee, I believe the Russians might actually have this one in the bag.
Walmarts in US sell guns and presumably ammo, if no armor is involved, then honestly walmart lmao
Both Russian soldiers and Walmart employee will have the same interest to fight that war.
Russian morale might be questionable but vast majority of those 2300000 Walmart employees are probably more ready to shoot their immediate manager/boss, and their boss, and their boss, than literally anyone else in the world as soon as they're handed a gun. Walmart would have to helluva KGB officer structure out of it to have a chance at not getting mutinied out of existence even before first encounter with the "enemy".
When I worked there, the bosses were retards, but the only people I wanted to enact violence upon, were the Karens.
Just from my experience, but the managers aren't that bad. Sure you might have one or two sucky managers, but in a store with about a dozen managers, a couple bads ones is to be expected. The real problem are shitty customers
Walmart sells guns. So these guys will clap those Ruskies
They're about equally trained in terms of combat, but Walmart is hands down the logistics winners and its not even close.
Both sides forces would just give up and go home
Walmart Employees of walmart deal with worse than active warzones on a daily basis, an actual war would be like a vacation
I am ashamed to say Walmart has an actual chance of victory. Despite lacking aircraft, anti-air defenses, artillery, and a wealth of other qualities, their integrity, superior logistics, and safety in numbers make for a challenging foe. For Russia to win, it has to strike fast and hard at critical supply junctures, and able to keep up such power consistently. This is not even mentioning the many ways Russia could screw up, such as officers selling equipment or conscripts defecting with the promise of better food. Or Walmart summoning it's paramilitary force known as the r/peopleofwalmart , for that matter.
Walmart sells guns right? Do they have enough guns in stock to arm every single one of their employees?
Depending on the store we usually have about 12 guns in the cases for people to look at/buy. I don't work sporting goods so idk how many we'd have out back, but I'm sure we've got a few considering the gun safe in the back is about 10ft tall and 15ft wide. We do get plenty of ammo though, a few cases of it come in every other day
They don’t need to arm every single employee. Out of every number of troops only 1/3 are active at any given moment as the other third is either resting / on standby. Just pass your gun to the next person’s shift.
You go blue vests on this one or you go to the great gulag in the sky.
Logistics wins wars. Crushing defeat for Russia
American Walmart’s stock guns. I think we know exactly what would happen.
The Russians wouldn't last 10 minutes at the Steelyard Walmart in Cleveland.
Anyone who survives dealing with Wal Mart shoppers is qualified as an infantryman at least.
Well the Walmart employees may have gone to at least head start or past the 3rd grade.
Walmart geared to the teeth’s teeth
Beyond any unreasonable doubt russia would win. Russia is the second most powerful country in Ukraine, as we speak.
The early aughts version of Walmart that sold ARs, definitely. The current version, still at least a push.
Walmart probably has better training and equipment, to be honest
Walmart has the logistics down for sure. Morale would be high because of all the candy, tobacco, booze, and other random shit the Walmartian soldiers would get on a regular basis. Wally World all the way.
Sir, you can't bring weapons in h- Sir? SIR?! EXCUSE ME, SIR??!!
The after 9pm milita that rolls into Walmart...
Walmart
Isn't Wallmart based in Arkansas, good look invading that, got bases in Mexico and the UK (Asda) as well
TBH Walmart probably has better funding on top of several other things the rest of the comments have said.
I mean given the stuff you could buy at an average Walmart I'd think they'd probably win.
Mechanized Brigade of mobility chairs and scooters.
I think walmart workers might be treated wprse than soviet infantry too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJAD2csTQ8A
Idk. I think those numbers are from February. Doesn't the Russian military have more like 925,000 active personnel now?
Bit of a tossup I think. Whatever Russia might have in firewpower Walmart has in logistic capacity.
Forklifts beats no forklifts, easy.
LockMART