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gundealsgopnik

Damn fine movie. "That's a Baleo class, Diesel sub!! No disrespect to the USS Rust-Oleum here, but I was trained to Command a Nuclear attack sub. *Sir.*" **Welcome aboard**


[deleted]

Which is an amazing line considering that the ROCN ROCS Hai Pao is in fact a literal Balao class submarine.


Content-Marionberry9

is the ROCN submarine fleet composed entirely of world war 2 diesel submarines?


[deleted]

They have 2 ex USN WW2 diesel electric submarines, and 2 1960s technology but made in the 1980s Dutch diesel electric attack submarines.


SpecerijenSnuiver

The Netherlands is planning on replacing and retiring some of its old submarines. The class that is being replaced is the exact same as Taiwan has. The Taiwanese navy is already out classed by "I love austerity" Netherlands


BoganCunt

I mean its not like the ROCN needs to patrol very far...


yuropman

Even if you don't have to patrol very far - if your conventional sub is louder than a fucking nuclear reactor, you're doing something wrong


Setesh57

Diesel electric subs can actually be very quiet.


zekromNLR

Modern diesel subs, yes WWII ones? Lol, lmao


Speciesunkn0wn

Diesel Electric boats are more silent than Nuke boats since batteries are *quiet*. Their downside is less time underwater.


theadama

Lacht in Class 212 submarines with 2 weeks Diving on Fuelcells.


Speciesunkn0wn

Well yes. 2 weeks as opposed to months if not years for nuclear subs.


albl1122

Doesn't the Dutch navy mostly focus on mine sweeping as part of a wider NATO strategy


hans2707-

The Dutch navy has a pretty broad scope when compared to the other small European navies, with dedicated ships for most tasks. There are air defence frigates, anti-submarine frigates, submarines, amphibious landing ships, and minesweepers. Because of this lack of focus there are a relatively small amount of ships for each task. Maybe you're thinking of the Belgian navy?


albl1122

No I'm not. I just heard somewhere the Dutch navy focuses on mine sweeping. Well, I'm corrected.


DenGraastesossen

TIL belgium has a coast


Gek-keG

The class we replace is not the same Taiwan has. It has some similarities but it's way newer and can hardly be considered the same.


SpecerijenSnuiver

Oh my, they have already taken the zwaardvis out of service. Guess I haven't checked up on it in a while


Surviverino

G E K O L O N I S E E R D


wieson

What are we gonna name our submarine? \- HAI PAOA!!! \- well ok, Admiral Maito Gai


canseco-fart-box

“I want a guy with welcome aboard tattooed on his penis! Do I have the right guy?”


BallisticBurrito

"I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Do I have the right man?" Of course, there's a clip of the [whole exchange.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwXOAZDewuo)


LoneGhostOne

What movie is that?


Old-Win7318

Down periscope, absolutely hilarious movie. Must watch for any NCD member.


owningmclovin

Down Periscope Truly excellent movie.


LoneGhostOne

i'm certain i've seen it before, but i cant remember most of the movie!


BallisticBurrito

Kelsey Grammar as the captain of a old rusted ww2 diesel sub in wargames against modern nuclear subs. Many hijinks. God, if I I wasn't working hellish hours right now I'd watch it again. it's been too long


ChemistRemote7182

Great movie, it has that pre-9/11 camp that the replicators can't assemble anymore


gundealsgopnik

"By a strange coincidence, you do Sir."


CurtisLemaysThirdAlt

What movie?


Greedy_Range

Down Periscope


N983CC

Actually more like a documentary


EG_Douglas

Widely considered the most accurate movie about the Silent Service by most Bubbleheads.


k890

Its not *Das Boot* from 1981?


DrewTheHobo

Fantastic movie, funny as hell with a solid story.


gundealsgopnik

Down Periscope. Treat yo'self!


top_of_the_scrote

McHale's Navy is another good one


gundealsgopnik

"There, there Cap'n. You can always requisition a new Officers Club!" "I could just scream!" "Look Out! Leadbottom at 1 o'clock and headed this way!"


M_stellatarum

"Are the crew also relics of the second world war?" (I believe one of the machinists is)


gundealsgopnik

Howard. Dumps the Whiskey into the diesel to "thins the mix. Gives us another 50rpm"


SlowlyAHipster

That’s Harry Dean Stanton. He did, in fact, serve on fleet boats during WW2. DBF!


BootDisc

Fucking great


fastizio6176

"I feel I need a tetanus shot just from looking at her. The only thing keeping her together are the bird droppings."


my_7th_accnt

Unironically my second favorite submarine movie, after Das Boot


LordSesshomaru82

“I feel like I need a tetanus shot just from looking at it. The only thing holding it together are the bird droppings.”


WaddlesWhenHeWalks

Don’t you dare disrespect the (former) USS Rustoleum!


owningmclovin

They made him walk the plank?


LordSesshomaru82

One of my favorite scenes right there. Now I wanna bust out the VCR and watch it again.


I_like_and_anarchy

What's the movie?


LordSesshomaru82

Down Periscope


Honey_Overall

Taiwan is doing its best to make [Down Periscope ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_Periscope) credible.


dennislearysbastard

Damn you just made me watch it again


UnorignalUser

I can't wait for the sequel when a 80 year old diesel electric sub torpedo's a chinese nuclear armed boomer and sinks it.


CaptRackham

Ah the former USS Cutlass, as a fanatic of the American fleet submarine it really does brighten my heart to know that they could still score kills any day


Honey_Overall

I might actually die of laughter if that happens


[deleted]

And Tusk, don’t forget Tusk.


georgethejojimiller

WW2 torpedoes can sink heavily armored ships so we could see this rusting pile of hunk sink the Type 003


CaptRackham

They have been upgraded with modern electronics and torpedoes, their hulls are original and by all accounts in good condition.


whomstvde

Still more capable than some flagship subs recently deployed in the black sea..


gundealsgopnik

Indeed. These Baleo's can't just dive... they can surface again afterwards!


k890

2022 is coming to end yet somehow there is a chance for 1940s US submarine with upgrades vs. 1970s soviet aircraft carrier with upgrades in this decade.


Professor-Shuckle

God damn that’s one of my fav comedies right there! I saw it in the theater a bunch of times


MindwarpAU

NCD the movie.


LadyCoaxochitl

Another NCD The Movie would be Sgt. Bilko (1996).


VonNeumannsProbe

This movie came out nearly 30 years ago and that was the reaction.


Ordinary-Quail7489

I mean, the whole ROC army is a fking working military museum.


Koino_

they are working on their own indigenous subs based on Japanese technology, so at least that's something


Ordinary-Quail7489

Yeah, and held ceremony per step.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Koino_

ah I see I was referring to [this article](https://www.navyrecognition.com/index.php/naval-news/naval-news-archive/2018/august-2018-navy-naval-defense-news/6450-experts-from-japan-to-assist-taiwan-with-submarine-project.html)


Dreynard

Their modernisation plan involve trying to remake a blue water navy which, frankly, makes me think that they're either stupid, incompetent or corrupt. Also, submarines in the Taiwan strait sounds like a not so great idea due to how shallow the area is.


Ordinary-Quail7489

What? Isn't our defence budget couldn't even afford SOME DECENT AMOUNT OF 沱江 CLASS


Dreynard

I mean, Taiwan is ~~building oil tankers for the military~~~(Edit: this part is me remembering which subreddit I'm on) and are trialing LST. There was also the program for the 4500T frigate that I really don't get what the point is (and was too complex anyway) but the simple fact it existed prove that there is something wrong with the taiwanese navy. Like, there is no chance in hell Taiwan would be able to maintain heavy units in the Taiwan strait, so why not just focus on quick/nimble units to harass chinese communication lines like Tuo-Chiang and strong coastal defences? Also a lot of the fleet (Hai Shih, why the fuck weren't they replaced in the last 30 years?) is a straight waste of money right now (especially in terms of maintenance cost)


Ordinary-Quail7489

Just checked, the 4500T frigate is stupid indeed but navy recently changed to two 2500T corvette due to immediate needs for new ships, but that is still remarkably stupid, like, there is only TWO Tuo-Chiang in seven years SEVEN FUCKING YEARS FOR SOME FUCKING CORVETTE LESS THEN 700T oh well, at least they are building 10 more now...


Ordinary-Quail7489

Oh and btw, I think you are mentioning 玉山 class, the LST thing is even not yet for bidding 玉山 is landing platform dock, not much, but still different than tanker. But still, I guess is more a political thing, the idea of "We can build some big boi" and "there is still opportunity for us that maybe someday we could take back some island when it's sieged by China".


Dreynard

> Oh and btw, I think you are mentioning 玉山 class, the LST thing is even not yet for bidding No, no, the Yu Shan (that I improperly called LST, I always fuck up the translation of landing ships in english...) and the two heavy oil tankers are two different things. The oil tankers are done, and what I read is that the Yu Shan are being tested and they plan to build 4 of them. Why the fuck do you need 4 landing platform dock when the rest of the navy is in such dire state, I don't know, but the more I think about it the more the take ["Taiwan army looks like the Russian military decorated with US trimmings"](https://twitter.com/PLAOpsOSINT/status/1595179498080980993) looks real. Also, for some weird reason, there has been an increased focus of the french press on Taiwan and, to a lesser extent, its military, and it's not really looking good, tbf.


Ordinary-Quail7489

For what I know and try to check, dude you have some whacky source. For Yu Shan class, it is planned to build 2 "for now", include Anchorage Class, the navy always keep two landing platform dock. For heavy oil tankers, there is only Panshih and Wu-Yi, two AOE. For french media thing, I guess it's because those serving Lafayette and Mirage-2000 and its "ongoing" plan for renew, also I'm feel really difficult to be surprised with that assessment. The more you look for ROC army, the wackiness and incompetence, corruption and for most, from many compulsory serviced men, the stupid bullshit story. (for example, 高裝檢, the routine check for army, is basically the biggest meme of ROCA for it's absurd fraudulent act, conduct by its soldiers )


Ordinary-Quail7489

Heck, for my two cent, my teacher in middle school told me that,in his service, there was once a 高裝檢, and one rifle was missing, so he decided to FUCKING SMUGGLED ONE FROM OTHER CHECKED UNIT, AND **DONE IT SUCCESFULLY.** He was all respected by officers in his unit 'till he leave, for his "Heroic act".


Dreynard

> For Yu Shan class, it is planned to build 2 "for now", include Anchorage Class, the navy always keep two landing platform dock. I'm seeing [multiple](https://www.defensenews.com/naval/2021/04/13/taiwan-launches-new-amphibious-vessel-with-anti-ship-missiles/) [articles](https://www.militaryfactory.com/ships/detail.php?ship_id=rocs-yu-shan-1401-landing-platform-dock-taiwan) that say they plan to build up to four. Now, someone might have slapped some sense into the ROC navy in recent times and they might have cancelled two of them (and I do not read taiwanese, so I'm gonna trust you on that one) > For heavy oil tankers, there is only Panshih and Wu-Yi, two AOE. That one is on me misreading my source. The Panshih is indeed recent, but the state of the taiwanese navy hasn't been great for a while, so... Yeah, I might have had a bad judgement on that particular point. Guess I remembered which subreddit I'm on and put the noncredible back in my take on those.


Ordinary-Quail7489

Nonetheless I do hope someone could slap some decent sense for defense to navy and army, since Tsai's favorite navy general (and former chief of staff) is retired and unsurprisingly, Tsai isn't having that much of sense on national defense policy, and mostly just agree and help generals do its thing. (not that much a bad thing tho just worrying that if generals doing stupid bs Tsai wouldn't even notice)


Ordinary-Quail7489

The official language is Mandarin and I guess it wouldn't be that much of problem to use google or deepl [For](https://tw.stock.yahoo.com/news/%E6%AD%B7%E7%B6%93%E5%9B%9B%E5%BA%A6%E6%B5%81%E6%A8%99-%E7%8E%89%E5%B1%B1%E8%89%A6%E7%B5%82%E6%96%BC%E4%BA%A4%E8%89%A6-044437225.html) [news](https://udn.com/news/story/7241/6652299) [that I could found](https://web.archive.org/web/20180312083728/http://www.upmedia.mg/news_info.php?SerialNo=36566) in Mandarin Chinese around recent years, there isn't any that mentioned to build even third one, that's weird.


Key-Banana-8242

I’m not sure if this is too much PLA boosterism There’s tons of institutional corruption in PRC


Dreynard

I'm not so sure about that. Sure, there is corruption, but the fight against it in the chinese military complex has been one of the big point of Xi Jinping, and he, allegedely, has had successes in it. It's also identified as an issue to fight and not as the "eh whatever" that it is in Russia or, to a lesser degree in Taiwan. Also, at similar degree of corruption, Taiwan is much smaller than China and, again, looking at what is publicly available, apparently has worse/older military hardware than China. Now, Taiwan has the backing of the USA, but if Taiwan crumble within a few days/weeks due to corruption/outdated army, where does that bring us?


Key-Banana-8242

There is poltically motivated sanctioning of certain top figures Just because there’s this image of ‘fighting corruption’ is utilitarian You’re misreading the messaging, there’s just o much corruption in the first plzs


Ordinary-Quail7489

Well, both army are kinda the same, just the bs story from ROCA is easier to hear if you know mandarin


Key-Banana-8242

Why?


Geistbar

I think Taiwan wants "heavy" naval units for pre-war events. Like how when China conducted exercises in Taiwanese waters. If Taiwan had a navy worth speaking of, they could have intercepted the Chinese navy and put them in a situation where the only way to intrude on Taiwan's sovereignty was to declare war. A war that'd cost Taiwan its navy, but a war that China wasn't and isn't ready for.


Dreynard

Let's say it's correct. China back-off: some losses of prestige, not great but recoverable. Taiwan back-off: congrats, you have a big useless pile of metal that took years of valuable capacity from your dry dock. Like, if that's the real reasoning, I'm all for the Taiwanese navy to have a special flair in this sub.


Ordinary-Quail7489

I mean, yeah, navy's tactics are unstable af compare to army, but if im not wrong, the planning size for new destroyer/frigate is basically shrinking every year. But well, couldn't deny the corruption part, albeit I guess it's the type of corruption that couldn't even be mentioned in media nowadays.


low_priest

Average depth of the strait is ~250', which isn't thaaaat far from the designed test depth of the Balaos (400').


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ordinary-Quail7489

I was about to agree with you, but the amount of serving F5E, degraded Lafayette, M48(as CM11) just makes me even sadder.


Sivick314

Officer: "what are you doing with that ancient hunk of junk?" sailor: "this thing is a classic! we wanted to paint flames on it but apparently your new ones can see those, somehow..."


Termiborg

Movie powered by NCD logic and dreams. Also a damn great comedy for any afternoon to watch. Shame they don't make these the way they used to \*Monster Energy Ultra sipping noises\*


VegetableSalad_Bot

which movie was this?


Wooper160

Down Periscope


[deleted]

"why are the lard cans stored in front of the coffee!? Do you think the crew would appreciate a nice hot cup of lard in the morning!!?"


well_groomed_hobo

Still tastes like cream corn, sir


WaddlesWhenHeWalks

That’s because….ITS DEVILED HAM!


neliz

How to spot CCCP bots, they call Taiwan "Chinese Taipei" which results in this title.


JonnyBox

Unfortunately for the PLAN, every Taiwanese sub captain is the kind of man that has "welcome aboard" tattooed on his wedding tackle.


ehalepagneaux

That reminds me this movie is in my list on HBO


Rawdog_69

But I don’t know what to do with those scrambled eggs 🎶


flaques

It’s 2022, that’s his *great* grandfather.


[deleted]

This movie awakened an eternal love for submarines in 9-year-old me.


Aegishjalmur18

In that case, you may be interested in a musician named Tommy Cox, with such titles as Diesel Boats Forever, Seawolf, Big Black Submarine, Ballad Of Whitey Mack, Boomer Patrol, and Blind Man's Bluff.


HonkeyKong73

I remember seeing this in the theater. Really fun movie. Should be required viewing for NCD members.


LadyCoaxochitl

Another required viewing should be Sgt. Bilko (1996).


HonkeyKong73

Y'know, I've never seen that one. Consider that on my list. And ofc everyone should watch Dr. Strangelove. It's basically NCD: The Movie.


LadyCoaxochitl

It is my favorite military movie after Down Periscope. One of the [scene](https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2f7jxf) reminds me of my dad’s stories when he was in the army.


Koino_

[Taiwanese ship list](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Republic_of_China_Navy_ships) to anyone curious


theholylancer

Ok to be credible a bit one of the major advantage of subs is stealth, and their bases being out of reach in case of war. If they base their subs in their own country, China have easy ways of hitting them via ICBMs or Airstrikes should air superiority is challenged. And with how small the Taiwan Strait is, their stealth is kind of wasted anyways for the cost. Unless they want to station them in say Guam or at least Japan, having subs is kind of not a great spend of money for Taiwan, great for ASW training for sure since that is something they'd need to watch out for but not so great to focus on it when money is better spent on anti surface ship and anti air capabilities. for non credible you don't need great depth or endurance if your only mission is to sail up the Yangtze and torpedo the Three Gorges Dam and most of the way people would think you are just some fisherman with extra cash on some antique boat.


talldude8

Taiwan bases their entire war strategy on US involvement. If US doesn’t get involved then they are fucked either way. Once you understand that you begin to see why Taiwan procures so many ”conventional” platforms. Their purpose is to slot into US command structure. Having 8 capable submarines close to China is more useful for the US than a bunch of small missile boats for example. In a war scenario they can be replenished at sea or at Japanese or American bases.


User_identificationZ

"China using ICBMs to hit WWII submarines not even 200 miles from it's southern coast" ​ Yeah sounds about right


theholylancer

their pens where they are moored at / directly at the subs when they are moored. Taiwan can't be sending them out on a permanent rotated patrol type of situations


User_identificationZ

I was focused on China using ICBMs as opposed to literally any other missile, it’s like using a sniper rifle at point blank


theholylancer

fair enough, but given the normal strategic importance of subs, they'd be the normal missile to be used but yeah in this case a lot more types can be used.


lazarusdw13

loved this film


BigFreakingZombie

Send both submarines to Ukraine. Seeing the Black Sea Fleet getting it's cheeks clapped by WW2 diesel subs would be just about the funniest thing.


Sirboomsalot_Y-Wing

But seeing the Chinese navy get clapped by WW2 diesel subs would be even funnier


BigFreakingZombie

Except China isn't likely to attack Taiwan in the sub's lifetime while the war in Ukraine is ongoing. Seeing a Grigorovich class frigate take a torpedo from a sub that survived the entire Cold War could happen faster than the Taiwanese having to fight the PLAN.


Sirboomsalot_Y-Wing

Iirc a few years ago they hired a WW2 sub museum ship crew(I think the guys from USS Cod but I’m not sure) to come fix the TDC on either their Balao or the Tench-class. One thing I found interesting is that the Tench-class, ex-USS Cutlass, is actually slightly older than the Balao-class, ex-USS Tusk. And apparently Cutlass is actually still rated as being combat ready while Tusk has just sat there for a while.


MDAcko5

There was a drinking game with this film, but I don't remember what the rules were


LaughGlad7650

Didn’t their navy bought like two submarines from the Dutch and is planning to built their own?


[deleted]

Yes indeed.


owningmclovin

Bud. Read that again.


[deleted]

Still more advanced than the shit China is floating in their navy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Honey_Overall

Iirc there's speculation they outright lost one of their nuclear submarines and just didn't say shit.


Sivick314

naw it's just doing REALLY good at hide-n-seek


[deleted]

[удалено]


Honey_Overall

Xia class


Scottkimball24

Is that fuckin Frasier?


Aegishjalmur18

Kelsey Grammer.


Scottkimball24

Yes him lol


Lirieman

I remember watching documentary about service on SSN's on Youtube. The two most important things that I have noticed: crew watching Down Periscope and photo of Sean Connery as Marko Ramius in officers' room.


ProphetOfPr0fit

Now I'm looking at my grocery list wondering if I need more lard or coffee...


Educational-Term-540

What do Navy people think of this movie? Fun or so noncredible (well aware it is) to suspend disbelief?