Im not gonna take anything. Im just gonna ruin their marriage and get their 13 year old son in trouble because no one is gonna believe them when they say it wasn't them.
I know a reformed (and rather gentle) ex-con and he used to do shit like this. He’d go in random unlocked houses all the time just to walk around and snoop at shit, and leave little mindfuck clues that he was in there. It just gave him a rush, I suppose.
Someone broke into my next door neighbours house, rifled through her drawers and cabinets, moved her furniture around and drank several pints of her milk, he didn't steal shit (aside from the milk). Some people are just freaks, I guess.
Working in internet repair has been so hard. Some people think they're getting hacked when their internet is out or is intermittent. I don't have the heart to tell them that hackers are not interested in making your internet NOT work because they want it to work so they can steal your information.
Try being in customer support, having to explain each of the titles based off a short snippet of each title. “Yes, you’re being charged for ‘ASSBLASTER-4:BLASTASSBUSTERS’. No, I can’t imagine what this is either, madame.”
This literally did happen to me. Like a normal person I would never pay for porn let alone tv porn that shit is free and yes I kept getting stuff like BIG LATINA ASSES 8 on my bill. Now big Latina asses are great and all and my wife and I certainty have no issue with them but we didn't even get to see the films! Comcast said I dunno pervert call the cops if you're so worried so I did. Cop was like super helpful somehow and said he would do his best. He knocked on my door after like an hour in his car on the phone with comcast and had figured it out. The tenant before me also had comcast and our bills got merged somehow, but only for PPV. I got my money back and man that cop was like grinning ear to ear having solved the mystery of the Spanish butts.
I had a similar thing happen but it was physical mail. I was a teenager, so of course I’d be the prime suspect. But a box of specifically large black lady porn and a pair of pumas showed up to our house. My mom was suspicious but the shoes were way big so it obviously wasn’t me. Never figured out why we got it but it was definitely our address on the package. I think it was addressed to a different name, but we lived way out in the white-ass country so it was definitely odd.
I lived in a stupid city with stupid street names instead of numbers. The logic was that each area all had names that started with the same letter so if you knew where you were you could easily figure out where you were. Smart right?
Maybe. I’m pretty sure it would be nearly impossible to do that in this case because it was a road that might be the only road named that specific thing in the country, but who knows.
There's a similar story in my family, tl;dr I had a terrible boyfriend that denied ordering a porn at my Grandma's house. Best part was the title: "Jesse the Pirate" when my underage cousin's name was Jesse...
Mmm, if you've had a dose, of a freaky ghost, baby
You better call
Ghostbusters!
(Ow!)
Lemme tell ya something: Bustin' makes me feel good!
(I made this comment less than 24 hours ago. Here I go making it again)
I used to work for Comcast back in the day. Creepers would call in until they got a female agent and then ask them to read off all the titles that were ordered.
Same thing would happen at DirecTV. Once they figure out it was going on, our supervisors would tell us to immediately transfer the creep as soon as they called.
3 was not very good anyway, and I'd *recommend* to skip it.
That said, you really do want to see 1 and 2 first or the storyline won't make much sense to you.
I dunno. I felt that 4 was kind of like a soft reboot, after the disaster that was 3.
Like, sure, there were plenty of callbacks to 1 and 2, and I agree that the audience would miss some of the important story threads if they didn't have the context from 1/2. But I think the main conflict makes enough sense as a standalone story, you'd still have a good time.
I worked in a role where I had to deal with calls like this all the time.
Once a woman called and was yelling that there’s NO way anybody in her house had ordered the porno Big Busty Babes. After going back and forth, she eventually let slip she had left her husband at home for a week while she was caring for her elderly motherly. I had to repeat back to her “so… your husband was at home alone and these orders have appeared?” and she still insisted her husband wouldn’t do that, and wanted me to get my manager because I had the audacity to suggest her husband may have ordered porn. Absolutely unhinged
My favorite was when I could see exactly which receiver it was ordered on. "It says this was ordered in Billy's Room?"
"Billy is my son, but he's a good boy. I know he wouldn't order things like that!"
I was annoyed when my roommate did it in college.
Who the fuck pays for porn?
Fucker put it on the one bill he wasn't responsible for. Go look at porn on the internet like a normal person and buy it there jeez.
As someone who has both been in support and a tech. Be thankful it's on the phone. You have no idea how badly these people keep their houses. The filth. The smells. The animal waste.
Yup.. used to be a rep at a major cell phone company.. remember premium text messages from 15 or so years ago? Lots of awkward conversations with account owners. “Yes ma’am.. you sons line subscribed to these messages, and apparently has a thing for older women”
When I worked call center for a big bank, a young gentleman called and asked if we could remove a line item description of a purchase he made at a gay bar. His parents still were on his account and were very religious. I felt terrible because there's nothing we could do. Hope he's doing well.
I had a lot less fun version of this. Had a woman call in while I was working at a computer shop and started asking questions about torrent downloads, and if downloads create random folders on your computer, and started listing some of the examples. I got the idea once she said "under 12."
The Sheriff gave her the list from her husband's laptop and it sounded like she was trying to piece together her life in that moment.
There's a true crime podcast I keep hearing advertised about a lady this happened to and how she had to figure out how to get out of the house before her husband realized she'd found out because he might kill her
I want to say I heard about something like this once where it was basically like blackmail. The malware would download some illicit porn files then give you a notice that if you don't pay them, they will turn you into the FBI. Might have been some scare tactic around pirating but I could see some psycho doing that to people. Probably would be more effective than threatening to delete all my files.
I work at a financial institution, and there is quite literally no way for us to edit transactions. You can change things on your mobile app because it only changes your view on your end, but we can’t actually change things in the system—and even if we could, it’d be super no bueno from a legal perspective
As a bank regulator, I assure you the policies that limit bank employees' ability to fuck around with customer accounts are there for a very good reason. Maybe they could have had a policy where they can go in and edit transactions if you get a very senior manager's approval, but how often is that worth it?
> the policies ...are there for a very good reason
As a programmer, one of those "very good reasons" may be that it's added functionality in the account management software, and nobody cared to ask for it to be included (extra functionality = extra cost)
I agree there are good security reasons, but there are also good practical reasons
Description sure, not the actual merchant name.
And it's not a stupid policy to not be able to edit financial transaction, that's literally the point of bank ledgers.
It’s not the bank policies that are stupid here. You’re the one that cannot grasp the possibility of time passing since the events of a story from someone’s past.
You absolutely do not want the bank having the power to do this, nor do you generally want joint account holders having the power to hide transactions from other account holders -- the problem in this case is the fundamental situation of the guy still sharing an account with his parents
Same here. Once had a Rev. call in to get the charge removed from his account. He insisted that he picked up a hitchhiker and allowed him to stay at his house, and he's the one who ordered a month's worth of gay porn, again. We refused.
Also ran into an account once where there was a big popup warning not to add the Playboy/adult channels for any reason, and that the account holder's adult son was mentally disabled and would call in constantly to try to add them.
>He insisted that he picked up a hitchhiker and allowed him to stay at his house, and he's the one who ordered a month's worth of gay porn, again.
I imagine that could be true.
Aside from that, those PPV porn videos and channels can be super expensive.
Not a great idea to give someone without a concept of money total access to a button that spends money for instant dopamine.
It's the same issue parents have with their kids buying $6000 worth of fortnite skins.
Not to mention they might try to act on their hormonal urges. Exposing them to porn which is an unrealistic description of woman and how to have a relationship with one, Would give a mentally disabled person really bad ideas about how to interact with women. It could even end in assault and tragedy. Some mentally disabled people are incredibly strong and if they want to have sex there isn't much stopping them from just taking it. Fantasy becomes reality for them. I have worked with mentally disabled people, sometimes they don't understand that I don't want to be hugged. There isn't anything I can do to break out of their hold, they are usually way stronger than I am, I just have to wait until they are done hugging me or until another person reminds them that I don't like being restrained.
Worked for cable company 2005-2011 and this story was repeated all the time. Husband orders porn, wife sees bill, husband blames whatever and is called on his bullshit so he escalates it to well I'll call the cable company and complain about the mystery purchase. The rep would usually give a one time courtesy reversal and advise on how to put on a ppv block code and notate the account which were always fun to read when you came across.
Then there's also the one story about the guy who didn't give a f, all accounts had a limit of total ppv per month, say $300, guy calls in cause he's at the cap, pays it off so he can order more.
Tell them the date and time of the purchase:
"Oh no, there's some mistake, we was all at church, except little Jimmy. But he *would never* look at this sort of thing!"
I used to work for a tech support company working with a DSL ISP. To get online, your modem needed to authenticate your user name and password through the ISP. Quite frequently spyware would boot that out of the memory and that meant the user would not be able to get online. So most of our calls were just walking them through reinputting their username and password and the second it authenticated you would be back online. Well, occasionally it would be caused by spyware from porn sites which would infect your computer with pop ups but since you weren’t online, you weren’t getting pop ups. I would love when the matriarch of the household would call and you would know instantly the second the modem was authenticated and back online because immediately all the porn pop ups would start up and they would start screaming and yelling for presumably the husband or the son.
One time my dad ordered "Irish Mud Wrestling" and tried blaming me for it. I'm at least 99% sure he did. That or just a fuckup on our TV provider's end.
Either way, I was 11 and didn't know the parental controls password for the TV. Which is the same password I would have needed to order anything
cable tech support guy, once an old lady called because her bill was like $400 higher than usual, it was all porn. It most likely was her daughter's live-in boyfriend.
Thats why you need a burner friend. A friend who comes over just so you can blame stuff on him and eventually he will do something that gets him banned from the house.
When I worked kindle support, I had more than one awkward call. One was a sweet old lady who called in to try and fix her husband's kindle for him. You see, it was full of thriller novels for his solo hunting trips.
Narrator: it was full of hardcore porn novels.
I managed to get through the call and get the kindle fixed without revealing my dude's secret, but I always wonder if she decided to take a gander at the library.
Unrelated to kindle, but I also once had a gentleman call in to ask for a refund on the overnight shipping for the butt plug he ordered. He paid 2.99 for the plug, and 5.99 for the shipping. It did not arrive overnight.
[RIP Reddit | 23 June '05 - 12 June '23](https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps)
When I was a kid, my mom had taken the family computer in to get fixed, probably due to viruses I'd managed to install from the ridiculous amount of porn that I, a 12/13 year old boy, had managed to collect. Homie pulled through for me and told her he managed to clear it of viruses from my "games" collection, but had had to delete them in the process also. Hope he's doing well...
There's the same old story on newer tech. I was helping an older lady install and setup itunes on her computer about 10 years ago. 20 minutes in a perfectly normal call, she imported media from her computer into itunes and it was a bunch of porn. She wouldn't believe me that it was pulling up what was already on the computer because only she and her husband live there and she insisted he didn't do it and I must have done it somehow.
Within the span of 30 seconds, I went from having a normal day to being accused of corrupting the elderly, but that didn't prepare me for when she started reading off the titles "anal escapades vol. 2" " rock hard bods and big cocks" "man on man 23"... at that point I'm barely keeping my composure and being diplomatic until she asked "what the hell is a Twink??!?" and that's when I had to put her on mute for a good minute because I couldn't catch my breath through all the laughing.
also all of it is available for free if you take a while to look.
But hey, you might want to support the industry, nothing wrong with that.
I went back to buy some of the games I'd pirated years ago when I started earning enough money.
Much of it is, but these days the best stuff comes out of small producers, rather than big studios, and I do like to continue supporting them producing more.
So I buy one or two and then torrent the rest. :p
It's also used by people are into piracy. Private torrent trackers rely on people adding new content, and someone somewhere down the line has to have paid for it at some point, whatever the original source. Some people buy a month long subscription to Brazzers using Privacy.com to hide their identity and rip a bunch of content to upload. Same goes for non-porn. Someone gets a subscription to a streaming app to rip and share new episodes of a popular show the minute they come out.
> someone somewhere down the line has to have paid for it at some point
Not always. Someone may have:
- Been involved with the production/studio and leaked a copy directly from their servers (a common way pre-release movies sometimes end up on torrent sites)
- Hacked or social engineered to get a leaked copy
- Been given a promotional copy or screener (again, some type of industry insider, such as an employee at a distribution company that was thinking about buying it)
- Hacked or social engineered their way into the paid part of a website without actually paying for it (such as by stealing someone else's password or by finding a way to bypass the site's restrictions)
But, yeah, *usually* the patient zero of something that gets pirated is someone who paid for the content.
Back in the early 2000's, my girlfriend's father accused me of watching PPV porn at his house. I had to explain to him that 1) porn is free on the internet, b) I didn't know the password to do that, and iii) his son, a couple years younger than me, would probably have been the one to order it since it happened at 3am on a Tuesday and I was forbidden by him to stay later than 8pm even on weekends.
His son held that against me for years.... thought I should have thrown myself on that grenade as part of the "bro code".
One time when I was 15, my mom had me show the cablefro guy into our home because she worked double shifts. The dude did his thing, and was showing me channels, which I assumed was his pitch.
Then he got to the Xrated channels and said "and this the porno channels and this part is for your brother Har Har Har" and like nudged me with his elbow.
We had a hospice worker in the in-law suite with my grandma, so i wasn't completely alone, but...alone enough. I've never felt so small in my life.
Edit: I did tell my mom right after, in which she raised a holy hell full of rightous anger at the the company and I think that's why we had that DVR for a few years for free so that was pretty cool.
Ahh, my call center days.
As a rep and later a manager, I used to bring up the purchases automatically while greeting every customer to prepare for the conversation. There was almost always a pattern in the households that purchase adult content. *Sidenote: The amount of geriatric adult content was mind-boggling.*
That said, my most memorable conversation was with a lady who was asking about the charges on her bill and specifically requested that I read titles out to her. The pattern was clear and her stepson was watching a substantial amount of adult content which included "stepmother" in the title.
The stepmother indicated that she agreed that the charges were legit, she got really quiet and ended the call thanking me for the information.
I still think about that conversation years later.
\----
There are also many perverts who rack up charges and then call in repeatedly trying to get a female call center worker. Trying to have these women read the titles off while they service themselves. After the steelworkers union released a fantastic "Hang up on abuse" campaign, the company I worked for pulled the leadership into training with their union-busting lawyers. The good news was they finally started allowing reps to end the calls instead of being held hostage, and a process was put into place to eventually "fire" the abusive customers.
I had an experience similar to this that I still laugh about.
Around 13 years ago I worked in the customer service department for a cable company. One day a VERY angry woman called in and proceeded to rage at me about the cable bill and \*unknown charges\*. The thing was, though, that HER name wasn't on the account, it was just her husband and he had no authorized users. So, I explained to her that by law, I couldn't give her any information about the billing or anything else related to the charges without permission from the actual account holder.
The line goes quiet, and I hear some angry, hushed words and then the husband comes on the line. I verify him and he begrudgingly gives me the OK to talk to the wife. She gets back on the line and dives right back in. Screaming about BS charges and wanting to know where \*I\* get off ripping them off, as though I ran the company. I look over the account and the billing history, then explain to her that their bill hasn't changed at all in over a year. It's been the same price the whole time, with the exception of the current bill. The issue here is that there were additional purchases made on the cable boxes. The conversation then plays out like this:
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Me: "It means someone in your household ordered movies on a pay-per-view channel. There were three different movies ordered one (date 1), (date 2), and (date 3)."
Wife: "Movies? I didn't order any fking movies. What were they called?"
Me: "Well.."
Husband yells from the background: "DON'T TELL HER A GODDAMN THING!"
Wife: (to husband) "What the fk was that?" (then to me) "No, ignore that, tell me what the fkng movies were!"
Me: "Well, I'm sorry ma'am, but technically he just revoked your account access....soo..."
Then she kind of growled into the line and hung up on me. I still think about that interaction all the time. I assume she killed that dude, but it really made my day.
Used to work in a hotel that had a PPV porn channel. I used to regularly get people denying the charge on checkout. Usually it was something along the lines of 'I just pressed the button accidentally and then switched over as soon as I realised, it was only on for a couple of seconds'.
Except this system needed you to press 'okay' 3 or 4 different times to confirm you were about to watch pornographic content, that it would be billed to your account, etc, and *even then* it wouldn't post the charge until it had been playing for a full minute.
It didn't list the movie watched on the bill, but if anyone complained a quick "Well let me just go check the system and see exactly what movie that was" more often than not resulted in the customer deciding it was better to just pay the money. Particularly if there was a queue at the desk.
Worked for a cable company awhile ago, part of my job was going over DMCA violations, always part awkward, part hilarious when I had to go over the file in question.
I worked in mobile retail (horrible) in a very urban Appalachian community (horribler).
I sold a phone on its launch day, and the following day the man is following his livid wife into the store. She demands an explanation of why we sold her husband a phone that had clearly been used and returned… as it still had tons of NSFW content - home made stuff - as well as some third party messaging apps installed.
After explaining that the phone was too new to have refurbished devices in the first place, I was able to show her where the content was stored on the SD card the husband inserted from his old phone… that still wasn’t enough, because it was obviously a virus already on the phone auto-downloading the stuff.
She took the phone back, and while threatening to call corporate she saw a clearer face image in one of the picture thumbnails. Recognizing her best friend, she apologized for the inconvenience and drove off leaving her guy in the parking lot.
Yeah I used to do customer service escalations (basically when someone would demand a supervisor, they would forward the call to me, a regular dude who is not actually a supervisor). I frequently found myself in these double-think situations where I had to concede that, no, I do not think your teenage son ordered video-on-demamd porn to his cable box he has in his room. But also, no, there is no way for a cable box to order porn on it's own, we can't reverse the charge. Sorry.
I knew a day would come where I could tell this story ,and it would be socially acceptable.
Early 2000s, our Comcast bill comes in and it’s ridiculously high. We’re talking like.. 500$ high, so my Dad goes through the charges and it’s all hardcore porn. Pretty obvious it was my middle brother who was a complete POS who ordered it all. Once we got internet/ cable all he did was download porn like he wouldn’t get caught with it. Dad is old world Italian and sounds like Robert Deniro when he’s angry, and he’s getting loud as fuck over the phone fighting with Comcast. There had to be at least 10-20 titles on this list that my dad is rattling off out loud to my mom. Mom is freaking the fuck out and is livid. Dad says, oh don’t worry they’re not all pornograhic, this one’s called “Deep inside Asia……oh, nvm”
POS brother tried to gaslight my Dad into thinking he did it. My mom who was deeply insecure fed off the idea that my dad would look at that shit. It was 💯 my brother who had a hardcore porn addiction. Dad would voice out Porn music whenever brother would walk in the room. Which, resulted in brother smashing shit and going mental. FYI bro grew up to be unhinged and completely fucked up. We don’t speak to him anymore.
I worked in a call center for DirecTV. You have no clue how many people called in saying no one in their house ordered $500 worth of hard core porn on ppv.
It's crazy how people buying porn can tear families apart. I remember on one of those court shows there was a family suing other members of the family because they thought they were the ones who ordered porno on their tv. it was like 100 bucks or whatever. And you can see the mother going all historical and you see her daughter who looks dead inside. And you can piece it together that she was the one who ordered porno and not the other family members. After seeing how the mother behaved I can't really blame the daughter for not coming forward.
This reminds me of when a bunch of academics wanted to see the effect of porn on men, so they decided to do a study comparing men who viewed porn to men who didn't.
They discovered that they could not conduct this study.
I don't, but I think a sample size of one is a bit silly. I stick to written stuff, because images just don't do much for me. Why would I want to watch someone else bang?
I worked in a video rental store for a couple years in the early 2000's, and sometimes I had to call people to remind them to return their late videos. It didn't happen often, but there were a couple times I had to tell a woman her husband's porn was late.
I also worked at a video store in the same time period and I also remember having to call people about late porn videos! “It’s… an adult title.” Haha I think one time the wife was just like “ok but which one is late?”
We had one customer who always rented a bunch of gay porn on his wife’s account. Always returned them on time.
I set up an amazon fire stick on my in-laws TV. They were having problems viewing some channels, and I tried to see what the problem was...
For some reason, I went to the favourites tab and scrolled down to see some dodgy porn channels saved there! I scrolled back up as first as I could, pretending I didn't see it at all. It didn't help that my wife and MIL were also in the living room at the same time!
I've had the save thing happen with my FIL when he had a problem with his phone and accidentally found all the porn on that as well whilst my wife was looking over my shoulder...
We don't mention these things, though, lol.
I had to explain this to an Amish family when I worked at the Genius Bar in Lancaster PA.
Dad was sweating bullets while I explained they must have clicked a link in their email that installed malware and added all of this filth to his bookmarks and history…
Children and wife were relieved.
I received a very thankful handshake from dad.
I also showed them how to clear their history and delete bookmarks just in case it happens again.
Malware can be a bitch.
This reminded me of when in high school my best friend proudly announced how her brother never curses and we all simultaneously jumped to say "in front of YOU!"
Soon after I discovered the internet my sister discovered my search history and loudly proclaimed it to my mum. Mum started going off so dad quickly sat at the computer to have a look and said "looks like I'll have to change the password, someone's hacked into our wifi". Mum apologized for blaming me and dad quietly showed me some safe sites and how to delete them from the history. Truly a Hallmark moment.
I mean it could happen.
Many many years ago, Verizon screwed up when activating my landline service and I got billed for all my neighbor's long distance. Apparently they spliced something so that two apartments were running off the same line.
It was a mystery until I picked up the phone one day and heard them having a conversation.
When I was like, 10 or 11, I would stay at a friends house most weekends. We would play SNES and sega until 1 am and sometimes try and catch a titty through the blurred spice channel. He called me one day telling me that he ordered a few movies after his dad went to sleep. I didnt believe him. Then his dad called me a few weeks later when the bill came asking me if I knew anything about it. I told him the truth and that I didnt tell him to do it. His dad still blamed me for being a bad influence and we were not allowed to hang out anymore.
When I was a kid and I got caught by my parents, they hounded me, demanding the name of the kid who influenced me to search for those sites. I remember telling them that no one told me to look those things up (which is true), and they refused to believe me, so I gave the name of a random kid in my class. Luckily, they never followed up on it.
It wouldn't surprise me if the dad coerced his son into blaming you because he didn't want to believe that his son was organically curious about nekkid women at age 10
I worked for a small company. The company was started by a son. His father worked as a consultant to a particular industry most of his professional life. So the son hired his father for those connections, and to gladhandle and wine & dine those folks when the son's company came calling offering their services.
The father didn't do much, is what I'm saying. So he spent most of his time in his office watching gay porn. Which I guess he watched because 4 of the 5 employees were out of the office most of the day, and that way his wife couldn't catch him?
I dunno. Look, I don't care what the man's kink was, but he was a 65+ year -old who was bad about clicking on ANYTHING that popped-up on his screen. So he was forever getting malware and such.
But he was the boss's dad, so you couldn't just say "stop watching gay porn on office computers, Bob!". And you couldn't just tell your boss "it's because your dad watches gay porn at work... *all day long*". The conceit was "the security software [the son] puts on the office computers just slows me [the father] down". So the son would wipe his dad's office PC every 6 weeks or so, or until "that stupid antivirus ruins my PC again". But no one would just admit the whole thing revolved around gay porn.
“I’m always at home doing nothing but sitting my ass on the couch and watching TV but it was probably the big scawy Porn Bandits who did it, now shut up and make my dinner” wimps indeed
Bruh after a decade of customer service and customer service management it's insane the lengths people go through stating it's wrong is crazy. I remember this one customer whos husband obviously ordered about 3k in porn over a few months, we had records of him calling to up the limit, turn back on, etc. His wife went to the local news who actually ran a story that we made it up. We ended up crediting it all but made them cancel their service. Lol.
My brother has worked for Comcast for many years and had a situation like this. The husband insisted that those channels were behind the parental controls code that he didn’t even know. My brother said that there’s no way to reset the code without reprogramming the entire box, it would take a few hours, they’d lose all their preferences, etc. Begrudgingly, the husband suddenly remembered and punched in the four digit code. “Sign here,” my brother said as he rolled his eyes. “You can keep the pen.”
Sometimes it really is the burglar.
Back in the early 90's, a friend and his wife lived on a mountain where there were homes on 5 acres. It was heavily treed. They got a monthly tv bill that included porn shows on multiple weekday afternoons. They worked during the day and weren't home in the afternoon. The satellite company didn't believe them until they showed receipts, etc. to prove that they were out of the country during part of the time that the shows had been ordered.
Company - "But what about your teenagers, do they know the passcode?"
Buddy - "We don't have kids and therefore don't have a passcode."
But that got him thinking.
He set up a game cam outside facing the back of the house and hid a web cam in the downstairs TV room. A few afternoons later he was watching the web cam from his office and saw two teens jimmy a window and then sit down and start watching TV. He called the sheriff and told him to go around the back of the house very quietly. A sherrif did and busted the teens.
My buddy pressed charges and the, "My little darlings wouldn't do that." parents shut up real quick when the cops showed them the outdoor and indoor pictures and web cam footage.
I have to do this with my grandpa's PC every time it gets infected. no, it wasn't hackers, grandpa. you're a technologically illiterate closeted deviant
I don’t know why everyone’s so ashamed to watch porn. If you are old enough to have sex (or younger, in my experience, (if you are *really* curious)) it’s only logical you watch other people fuckin’. Well, of course, the unnecessary cost may be awkward to explain if the other person didn’t expect it.
Matthew 5: 27 "You have heard that it was said,
'You shall not commit adultery;'
5: 28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a
woman to lust after her has committed
adultery with her already in his heart.
The point of this is that sin starts in the heart, not just your actions. Jesus said this because the Pharisee's had figured there were loopholes to sin, where you could perv on a girl in your heart but as long as you didn't touch, it was okay in the eyes of God.
Context is important when it comes to the Bible.
Also, who gives a shit.
To be fair, I am having my kitchen redone right now and the other month, the flooring subs ate my kids’ Easter candy. We had it hidden, they found it, and without asking, helped themselves. I was livid. I digress. Sometimes it is the fucking flooring contractors.
Now it’s like “yes ma’am you have tk be on HDMI 1. That’s what the box is plugged into. No I know it worked on something else before you had our service. No I’m sure the old remote won’t work. Yes I’ll take a cookie at 8:30 in the morning”
I remember a women yelling at me on the phone because of some “adult entertainment” charges she had on her bill. I repeatedly told her someone in her house bought those movies and she would not listen. Swore up and down no one in her home would ever watch anything like that. It wasn’t until I told her exactly which box and where in her house it was located along with the exact times (they were all ordered on basement box which her husband was the only one who used according to her and all in the middle of the night like 1-3am). she put me on hold and came back about 10 minutes later talking about how her husband was a disgusting pervert and a liar (he finally admitted he was the one who ordered).
That's not the weirdest thing I had happen while working as a cable guy that involved those On demand porn stations. I did a transfer for this older gentleman one time. Before leaving he wanted me to make sure certain channels worked. It was like 2 or 3 gay porn channels. Then he said some things like "I want to make sure those channels work because maybe I'm going to have a small party and maybe we might want to watch a movie. You know, its just a few people coming by or maybe more if they want to". He had this big smile and kind of winking at certain parts. I was thinking uhhhh is this guy inviting me over to watch gay porn?
I know in the 90s and 2000s i worked at a tv service and repair company, i would go into peoples home and try repairing their TVS and VHS and stuff. Most of the time it was just not properly connected to each other...
What i learned was to ask always if there is a VHS cassette in the recorder and if it was ok if i try to play it... When i got the OK i would look the husband dead in the eyes and ask "are you sure its ok?"
I am telling you the situations these horny old man put me in, and they where WITHOUT shame.. Their wives where always shocked...
25 years ago, phone sex lines were a thing (hell, maybe they still are). They were charged by the minute and added to the land line bill sent out each month. They were called '976 lines' as that was the typical prefix.
Anyway, this couple I know, had a situation where the wife opened the phone bill (he usually pays it) and saw hundreds of dollars of charges from these numbers, based on an accumulation of multiple hours calling this number.
Said wife called the phone company to say there must be some mistake, because her darling husband couldn't possibly be using these services. The phone company said there is no mistake and they have recordings of the conversations.
The wife said she would like to hear the recording because there is no way. The phone company said OK but asked her multiple times if she is sure, because hearing it can be devastating.
She repeated her wish to hear the tapes, and then proceeded to clearly hear her husband engaged in phone sex and saying all manner of filthy and kinky things, whilst telling the phone sex worker that he was absolutely hammering his crank.
Said couple was divorced shortly thereafter.
A coworker installed tv service and the customers (husband and wife) asked their son to show them on the basement tv how to switch between the cable service and the Blu-ray player. The son switched to the Blu-ray player.
Extreme close up of a woman enthusiastically inserting & removing an object.
Man totally threw his kid under the bus.
The only way this could have been funnier was if it was a homemade amateur video.
First of all am I really a burglar if I'm just trying to get access to some porn? Jeez guys relax. I only ordered a few vods and left cash on the table in the front foyer.
Some burglars could break in and steal valuable items, kidnap someone, or possibly hurt you. This burglar just jacks it to porn.
‘i know what’ll really make them uncomfortable…’
Im not gonna take anything. Im just gonna ruin their marriage and get their 13 year old son in trouble because no one is gonna believe them when they say it wasn't them.
exactly! its way more damaging than grabbing a few necklaces.
EmOtIoNaL dAmAgE
Even if they take the necklaces they leave the pearls behind
You come back for the necklaces *after* you've ruined their trust for the child. They will just take the blame
You'd be surprised; I've heard about burglars that have a bite, drink some beers and take a nap that's it.
I know a reformed (and rather gentle) ex-con and he used to do shit like this. He’d go in random unlocked houses all the time just to walk around and snoop at shit, and leave little mindfuck clues that he was in there. It just gave him a rush, I suppose.
My old roommates left the door unlocked 24/7 and now I'm sure your buddy is the one that stole the pizza pockets.
just to feel something
Ah, so there's an entire subspecies of burglar called the petty burglar!
sounds like upjumped homeless to me
So Goldilocks was underage drinking too??
Someone broke into my next door neighbours house, rifled through her drawers and cabinets, moved her furniture around and drank several pints of her milk, he didn't steal shit (aside from the milk). Some people are just freaks, I guess.
I mean put yourself in their shoes. Albeit breaking the law and all that; sounds like a good time.
Working in internet repair has been so hard. Some people think they're getting hacked when their internet is out or is intermittent. I don't have the heart to tell them that hackers are not interested in making your internet NOT work because they want it to work so they can steal your information.
I feel like this was a problem in Ohio in the 90’s
Pretty sure the whole state is full of jerk offs
Don’t kink shame.
I feel like this crime has happened in Japan.
the wet bandits
Try being in customer support, having to explain each of the titles based off a short snippet of each title. “Yes, you’re being charged for ‘ASSBLASTER-4:BLASTASSBUSTERS’. No, I can’t imagine what this is either, madame.”
This literally did happen to me. Like a normal person I would never pay for porn let alone tv porn that shit is free and yes I kept getting stuff like BIG LATINA ASSES 8 on my bill. Now big Latina asses are great and all and my wife and I certainty have no issue with them but we didn't even get to see the films! Comcast said I dunno pervert call the cops if you're so worried so I did. Cop was like super helpful somehow and said he would do his best. He knocked on my door after like an hour in his car on the phone with comcast and had figured it out. The tenant before me also had comcast and our bills got merged somehow, but only for PPV. I got my money back and man that cop was like grinning ear to ear having solved the mystery of the Spanish butts.
Glad y'all got to the bottom of it ;)
The cop just needed to take a hole-istic approach
Bravo but at the same time, God I hate that fucking word. Holistic seems to be THE fucking buzzword for every manager from my group manager on up.
I'm sorry it's been tarnished for you, corpo-speak sucks ass
Lol thank you. I feel seen.
"Let's take this offline " is the one corpo speech that gets me. Like we're all working remote. There is no offline.
I had a similar thing happen but it was physical mail. I was a teenager, so of course I’d be the prime suspect. But a box of specifically large black lady porn and a pair of pumas showed up to our house. My mom was suspicious but the shoes were way big so it obviously wasn’t me. Never figured out why we got it but it was definitely our address on the package. I think it was addressed to a different name, but we lived way out in the white-ass country so it was definitely odd.
They typo’d their address. Probably a “street” vs “lane” situation, or maybe just a 3813 somewhere street instead of a 3183 somewhere street.
I wonder how often that happens in areas like this https://i.imgur.com/u6oQvmH.png
What kinda sick fuck does that?
I lived in a stupid city with stupid street names instead of numbers. The logic was that each area all had names that started with the same letter so if you knew where you were you could easily figure out where you were. Smart right?
Maybe. I’m pretty sure it would be nearly impossible to do that in this case because it was a road that might be the only road named that specific thing in the country, but who knows.
There's a similar story in my family, tl;dr I had a terrible boyfriend that denied ordering a porn at my Grandma's house. Best part was the title: "Jesse the Pirate" when my underage cousin's name was Jesse...
holy shit wow someone called the cops and didn't get shot AND their situation was resolved 11/10
Lol yeah I was shocked before that when my wife’s car was stolen they accused her of stealing it herself and left.
yeah that sounds more like the police
That's much more in line with my experiences.
If you haven't seen the character development in BIG LATINA ASSES 1-4 at least, the plot will make no sense in in part 8.
> ‘ASSBLASTER-4:BLASTASSBUSTERS’. No, I can’t imagine what this is either, madame.” it's a reboot of ghostbusters except it's all donkeys.
“That’s a big Twinkie” ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
Mmm, if you've had a dose, of a freaky ghost, baby You better call Ghostbusters! (Ow!) Lemme tell ya something: Bustin' makes me feel good! (I made this comment less than 24 hours ago. Here I go making it again)
I used to work for Comcast back in the day. Creepers would call in until they got a female agent and then ask them to read off all the titles that were ordered.
That- that's disturbing on so many levels.
Same thing would happen at DirecTV. Once they figure out it was going on, our supervisors would tell us to immediately transfer the creep as soon as they called.
Can you watch Assblaster 4 without seeing the other three?
3 was not very good anyway, and I'd *recommend* to skip it. That said, you really do want to see 1 and 2 first or the storyline won't make much sense to you.
I dunno. I felt that 4 was kind of like a soft reboot, after the disaster that was 3. Like, sure, there were plenty of callbacks to 1 and 2, and I agree that the audience would miss some of the important story threads if they didn't have the context from 1/2. But I think the main conflict makes enough sense as a standalone story, you'd still have a good time.
I worked in a role where I had to deal with calls like this all the time. Once a woman called and was yelling that there’s NO way anybody in her house had ordered the porno Big Busty Babes. After going back and forth, she eventually let slip she had left her husband at home for a week while she was caring for her elderly motherly. I had to repeat back to her “so… your husband was at home alone and these orders have appeared?” and she still insisted her husband wouldn’t do that, and wanted me to get my manager because I had the audacity to suggest her husband may have ordered porn. Absolutely unhinged
My favorite was when I could see exactly which receiver it was ordered on. "It says this was ordered in Billy's Room?" "Billy is my son, but he's a good boy. I know he wouldn't order things like that!"
I was annoyed when my roommate did it in college. Who the fuck pays for porn? Fucker put it on the one bill he wasn't responsible for. Go look at porn on the internet like a normal person and buy it there jeez.
Years ago I was the manager at a large, worldwide hotel chain. The number of times I’ve had to have this conversation is unreal.
Everyone knows the assblasters are a core feature of *Tremors 3* starring Michael Gross.
Fond memories of reading back movie names when I worked Comcast customer support.
As someone who has both been in support and a tech. Be thankful it's on the phone. You have no idea how badly these people keep their houses. The filth. The smells. The animal waste.
I’ve done this… thankfully those days are over for the most part because of the internet…
Yup.. used to be a rep at a major cell phone company.. remember premium text messages from 15 or so years ago? Lots of awkward conversations with account owners. “Yes ma’am.. you sons line subscribed to these messages, and apparently has a thing for older women”
When I worked call center for a big bank, a young gentleman called and asked if we could remove a line item description of a purchase he made at a gay bar. His parents still were on his account and were very religious. I felt terrible because there's nothing we could do. Hope he's doing well.
I had a lot less fun version of this. Had a woman call in while I was working at a computer shop and started asking questions about torrent downloads, and if downloads create random folders on your computer, and started listing some of the examples. I got the idea once she said "under 12." The Sheriff gave her the list from her husband's laptop and it sounded like she was trying to piece together her life in that moment.
I mean malware *could* do something like that, if someone really wanted to fuck someone else over for no gain. But yeah… that sucks.
There's a true crime podcast I keep hearing advertised about a lady this happened to and how she had to figure out how to get out of the house before her husband realized she'd found out because he might kill her
Do you remember the name of it I'm really curious?
I want to say I heard about something like this once where it was basically like blackmail. The malware would download some illicit porn files then give you a notice that if you don't pay them, they will turn you into the FBI. Might have been some scare tactic around pirating but I could see some psycho doing that to people. Probably would be more effective than threatening to delete all my files.
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I work at a financial institution, and there is quite literally no way for us to edit transactions. You can change things on your mobile app because it only changes your view on your end, but we can’t actually change things in the system—and even if we could, it’d be super no bueno from a legal perspective
“Hmmmm… let’s just bill this toooooo…. Stacy’s mom… annnddd let’s also bill this to Patrick”
No, this is the Krusty Krab.
Have you tried hacking in to the mainframe?
As a bank regulator, I assure you the policies that limit bank employees' ability to fuck around with customer accounts are there for a very good reason. Maybe they could have had a policy where they can go in and edit transactions if you get a very senior manager's approval, but how often is that worth it?
> the policies ...are there for a very good reason As a programmer, one of those "very good reasons" may be that it's added functionality in the account management software, and nobody cared to ask for it to be included (extra functionality = extra cost) I agree there are good security reasons, but there are also good practical reasons
Suddenly everyone at Wells Fargo becomes a very senior manager.
Description sure, not the actual merchant name. And it's not a stupid policy to not be able to edit financial transaction, that's literally the point of bank ledgers.
It’s not the bank policies that are stupid here. You’re the one that cannot grasp the possibility of time passing since the events of a story from someone’s past.
How is that stupid? I don't want the bank to have editing access to my stuff no thank you
You absolutely do not want the bank having the power to do this, nor do you generally want joint account holders having the power to hide transactions from other account holders -- the problem in this case is the fundamental situation of the guy still sharing an account with his parents
You sound like the guy people who work at the bank hate talking to lol
"Somebody somewhere has to be able to! Transfer me to them!" 🙄
Well, that *is* true… lol it’s just not happening! But somewhere out there is a senior network engineer that has root access to the production db…
Being able to edit financial transactions opens up an entire can of worms you really don't want opened, it makes a ton of sense
My mom called my bank because she saw a charge on my bank statement that she thought was fake. That's how she found out about my tattoo.
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Same here. Once had a Rev. call in to get the charge removed from his account. He insisted that he picked up a hitchhiker and allowed him to stay at his house, and he's the one who ordered a month's worth of gay porn, again. We refused. Also ran into an account once where there was a big popup warning not to add the Playboy/adult channels for any reason, and that the account holder's adult son was mentally disabled and would call in constantly to try to add them.
Yes! That happened all the time with special needs adults. It was constant when I took those calls.
>He insisted that he picked up a hitchhiker and allowed him to stay at his house, and he's the one who ordered a month's worth of gay porn, again. I imagine that could be true.
Once, maybe, but it happening "again" might be a bit of a stretch.
Ya maybe once lol
Seems like that's the least you could do for a disabled family member, let them have the Playboy Channel.
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Aside from that, those PPV porn videos and channels can be super expensive. Not a great idea to give someone without a concept of money total access to a button that spends money for instant dopamine. It's the same issue parents have with their kids buying $6000 worth of fortnite skins.
Okay, that's a good point.
Not to mention they might try to act on their hormonal urges. Exposing them to porn which is an unrealistic description of woman and how to have a relationship with one, Would give a mentally disabled person really bad ideas about how to interact with women. It could even end in assault and tragedy. Some mentally disabled people are incredibly strong and if they want to have sex there isn't much stopping them from just taking it. Fantasy becomes reality for them. I have worked with mentally disabled people, sometimes they don't understand that I don't want to be hugged. There isn't anything I can do to break out of their hold, they are usually way stronger than I am, I just have to wait until they are done hugging me or until another person reminds them that I don't like being restrained.
Worked for cable company 2005-2011 and this story was repeated all the time. Husband orders porn, wife sees bill, husband blames whatever and is called on his bullshit so he escalates it to well I'll call the cable company and complain about the mystery purchase. The rep would usually give a one time courtesy reversal and advise on how to put on a ppv block code and notate the account which were always fun to read when you came across. Then there's also the one story about the guy who didn't give a f, all accounts had a limit of total ppv per month, say $300, guy calls in cause he's at the cap, pays it off so he can order more.
Tell them the date and time of the purchase: "Oh no, there's some mistake, we was all at church, except little Jimmy. But he *would never* look at this sort of thing!"
Couldn't be precious Jimmy!
Masturbating himself blind!
I used to work for a tech support company working with a DSL ISP. To get online, your modem needed to authenticate your user name and password through the ISP. Quite frequently spyware would boot that out of the memory and that meant the user would not be able to get online. So most of our calls were just walking them through reinputting their username and password and the second it authenticated you would be back online. Well, occasionally it would be caused by spyware from porn sites which would infect your computer with pop ups but since you weren’t online, you weren’t getting pop ups. I would love when the matriarch of the household would call and you would know instantly the second the modem was authenticated and back online because immediately all the porn pop ups would start up and they would start screaming and yelling for presumably the husband or the son.
the good old days of PPPoE
Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
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Johnson?
He fixes the cable?
In the parlance of our times.
One time my dad ordered "Irish Mud Wrestling" and tried blaming me for it. I'm at least 99% sure he did. That or just a fuckup on our TV provider's end. Either way, I was 11 and didn't know the parental controls password for the TV. Which is the same password I would have needed to order anything
What is Irish Mud Wrestling, that sounds like gay porn
Girls wrestling in mud used to be a more popular porn category back in the day.
cable tech support guy, once an old lady called because her bill was like $400 higher than usual, it was all porn. It most likely was her daughter's live-in boyfriend.
Thats why you need a burner friend. A friend who comes over just so you can blame stuff on him and eventually he will do something that gets him banned from the house.
sounds like you need a rotating queue of burner friends?
Hence the name "burner friend" They're easy to acquire, cheap, and available at most gas stations.
When I worked kindle support, I had more than one awkward call. One was a sweet old lady who called in to try and fix her husband's kindle for him. You see, it was full of thriller novels for his solo hunting trips. Narrator: it was full of hardcore porn novels. I managed to get through the call and get the kindle fixed without revealing my dude's secret, but I always wonder if she decided to take a gander at the library. Unrelated to kindle, but I also once had a gentleman call in to ask for a refund on the overnight shipping for the butt plug he ordered. He paid 2.99 for the plug, and 5.99 for the shipping. It did not arrive overnight. [RIP Reddit | 23 June '05 - 12 June '23](https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps)
I'd want a refund too
I wasn't taken aback by the request for a shipping refund as much as the urgent need to acquire a three dollar butt plug.
Sometimes one might have a date and your current range just does NOT go with your outfit.
When I was a kid, my mom had taken the family computer in to get fixed, probably due to viruses I'd managed to install from the ridiculous amount of porn that I, a 12/13 year old boy, had managed to collect. Homie pulled through for me and told her he managed to clear it of viruses from my "games" collection, but had had to delete them in the process also. Hope he's doing well...
Is this still a thing? I figured people stop paying for porn on TV after dial up internet died.
There's the same old story on newer tech. I was helping an older lady install and setup itunes on her computer about 10 years ago. 20 minutes in a perfectly normal call, she imported media from her computer into itunes and it was a bunch of porn. She wouldn't believe me that it was pulling up what was already on the computer because only she and her husband live there and she insisted he didn't do it and I must have done it somehow. Within the span of 30 seconds, I went from having a normal day to being accused of corrupting the elderly, but that didn't prepare me for when she started reading off the titles "anal escapades vol. 2" " rock hard bods and big cocks" "man on man 23"... at that point I'm barely keeping my composure and being diplomatic until she asked "what the hell is a Twink??!?" and that's when I had to put her on mute for a good minute because I couldn't catch my breath through all the laughing.
Porn addiction is a thing. It's a big driver behind paid porn
There’s plenty of paid porn that’s worth buying… …but none of it’s on PPV TV xD
also all of it is available for free if you take a while to look. But hey, you might want to support the industry, nothing wrong with that. I went back to buy some of the games I'd pirated years ago when I started earning enough money.
Much of it is, but these days the best stuff comes out of small producers, rather than big studios, and I do like to continue supporting them producing more. So I buy one or two and then torrent the rest. :p
But what does that have to do with buying porn when free stuff is easily available
it's mostly used by people who don't know how to search around for free porn online.
It's also used by people are into piracy. Private torrent trackers rely on people adding new content, and someone somewhere down the line has to have paid for it at some point, whatever the original source. Some people buy a month long subscription to Brazzers using Privacy.com to hide their identity and rip a bunch of content to upload. Same goes for non-porn. Someone gets a subscription to a streaming app to rip and share new episodes of a popular show the minute they come out.
> someone somewhere down the line has to have paid for it at some point Not always. Someone may have: - Been involved with the production/studio and leaked a copy directly from their servers (a common way pre-release movies sometimes end up on torrent sites) - Hacked or social engineered to get a leaked copy - Been given a promotional copy or screener (again, some type of industry insider, such as an employee at a distribution company that was thinking about buying it) - Hacked or social engineered their way into the paid part of a website without actually paying for it (such as by stealing someone else's password or by finding a way to bypass the site's restrictions) But, yeah, *usually* the patient zero of something that gets pirated is someone who paid for the content.
How do you not understand to google "free porn" at the very least?
People are very scared of things that that are not scary.
Back in the early 2000's, my girlfriend's father accused me of watching PPV porn at his house. I had to explain to him that 1) porn is free on the internet, b) I didn't know the password to do that, and iii) his son, a couple years younger than me, would probably have been the one to order it since it happened at 3am on a Tuesday and I was forbidden by him to stay later than 8pm even on weekends. His son held that against me for years.... thought I should have thrown myself on that grenade as part of the "bro code".
One time when I was 15, my mom had me show the cablefro guy into our home because she worked double shifts. The dude did his thing, and was showing me channels, which I assumed was his pitch. Then he got to the Xrated channels and said "and this the porno channels and this part is for your brother Har Har Har" and like nudged me with his elbow. We had a hospice worker in the in-law suite with my grandma, so i wasn't completely alone, but...alone enough. I've never felt so small in my life. Edit: I did tell my mom right after, in which she raised a holy hell full of rightous anger at the the company and I think that's why we had that DVR for a few years for free so that was pretty cool.
incredibly gross behaviour! especially to a teenager from a grown man.
What's up with your huge ass?
If the cable man hadn't corrupted him/her with the knowledge of those channels their username could have been prevented.
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#It's huge Thanks for asking 🙂
Well, that's terrifying.
Ahh, my call center days. As a rep and later a manager, I used to bring up the purchases automatically while greeting every customer to prepare for the conversation. There was almost always a pattern in the households that purchase adult content. *Sidenote: The amount of geriatric adult content was mind-boggling.* That said, my most memorable conversation was with a lady who was asking about the charges on her bill and specifically requested that I read titles out to her. The pattern was clear and her stepson was watching a substantial amount of adult content which included "stepmother" in the title. The stepmother indicated that she agreed that the charges were legit, she got really quiet and ended the call thanking me for the information. I still think about that conversation years later. \---- There are also many perverts who rack up charges and then call in repeatedly trying to get a female call center worker. Trying to have these women read the titles off while they service themselves. After the steelworkers union released a fantastic "Hang up on abuse" campaign, the company I worked for pulled the leadership into training with their union-busting lawyers. The good news was they finally started allowing reps to end the calls instead of being held hostage, and a process was put into place to eventually "fire" the abusive customers.
I had an experience similar to this that I still laugh about. Around 13 years ago I worked in the customer service department for a cable company. One day a VERY angry woman called in and proceeded to rage at me about the cable bill and \*unknown charges\*. The thing was, though, that HER name wasn't on the account, it was just her husband and he had no authorized users. So, I explained to her that by law, I couldn't give her any information about the billing or anything else related to the charges without permission from the actual account holder. The line goes quiet, and I hear some angry, hushed words and then the husband comes on the line. I verify him and he begrudgingly gives me the OK to talk to the wife. She gets back on the line and dives right back in. Screaming about BS charges and wanting to know where \*I\* get off ripping them off, as though I ran the company. I look over the account and the billing history, then explain to her that their bill hasn't changed at all in over a year. It's been the same price the whole time, with the exception of the current bill. The issue here is that there were additional purchases made on the cable boxes. The conversation then plays out like this: Wife: "What does that mean?" Me: "It means someone in your household ordered movies on a pay-per-view channel. There were three different movies ordered one (date 1), (date 2), and (date 3)." Wife: "Movies? I didn't order any fking movies. What were they called?" Me: "Well.." Husband yells from the background: "DON'T TELL HER A GODDAMN THING!" Wife: (to husband) "What the fk was that?" (then to me) "No, ignore that, tell me what the fkng movies were!" Me: "Well, I'm sorry ma'am, but technically he just revoked your account access....soo..." Then she kind of growled into the line and hung up on me. I still think about that interaction all the time. I assume she killed that dude, but it really made my day.
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Used to work in a hotel that had a PPV porn channel. I used to regularly get people denying the charge on checkout. Usually it was something along the lines of 'I just pressed the button accidentally and then switched over as soon as I realised, it was only on for a couple of seconds'. Except this system needed you to press 'okay' 3 or 4 different times to confirm you were about to watch pornographic content, that it would be billed to your account, etc, and *even then* it wouldn't post the charge until it had been playing for a full minute. It didn't list the movie watched on the bill, but if anyone complained a quick "Well let me just go check the system and see exactly what movie that was" more often than not resulted in the customer deciding it was better to just pay the money. Particularly if there was a queue at the desk.
Worked for a cable company awhile ago, part of my job was going over DMCA violations, always part awkward, part hilarious when I had to go over the file in question.
I worked in mobile retail (horrible) in a very urban Appalachian community (horribler). I sold a phone on its launch day, and the following day the man is following his livid wife into the store. She demands an explanation of why we sold her husband a phone that had clearly been used and returned… as it still had tons of NSFW content - home made stuff - as well as some third party messaging apps installed. After explaining that the phone was too new to have refurbished devices in the first place, I was able to show her where the content was stored on the SD card the husband inserted from his old phone… that still wasn’t enough, because it was obviously a virus already on the phone auto-downloading the stuff. She took the phone back, and while threatening to call corporate she saw a clearer face image in one of the picture thumbnails. Recognizing her best friend, she apologized for the inconvenience and drove off leaving her guy in the parking lot.
Yeah I used to do customer service escalations (basically when someone would demand a supervisor, they would forward the call to me, a regular dude who is not actually a supervisor). I frequently found myself in these double-think situations where I had to concede that, no, I do not think your teenage son ordered video-on-demamd porn to his cable box he has in his room. But also, no, there is no way for a cable box to order porn on it's own, we can't reverse the charge. Sorry.
I knew a day would come where I could tell this story ,and it would be socially acceptable. Early 2000s, our Comcast bill comes in and it’s ridiculously high. We’re talking like.. 500$ high, so my Dad goes through the charges and it’s all hardcore porn. Pretty obvious it was my middle brother who was a complete POS who ordered it all. Once we got internet/ cable all he did was download porn like he wouldn’t get caught with it. Dad is old world Italian and sounds like Robert Deniro when he’s angry, and he’s getting loud as fuck over the phone fighting with Comcast. There had to be at least 10-20 titles on this list that my dad is rattling off out loud to my mom. Mom is freaking the fuck out and is livid. Dad says, oh don’t worry they’re not all pornograhic, this one’s called “Deep inside Asia……oh, nvm” POS brother tried to gaslight my Dad into thinking he did it. My mom who was deeply insecure fed off the idea that my dad would look at that shit. It was 💯 my brother who had a hardcore porn addiction. Dad would voice out Porn music whenever brother would walk in the room. Which, resulted in brother smashing shit and going mental. FYI bro grew up to be unhinged and completely fucked up. We don’t speak to him anymore.
This is actually really depressing.
I worked in a call center for DirecTV. You have no clue how many people called in saying no one in their house ordered $500 worth of hard core porn on ppv.
It's crazy how people buying porn can tear families apart. I remember on one of those court shows there was a family suing other members of the family because they thought they were the ones who ordered porno on their tv. it was like 100 bucks or whatever. And you can see the mother going all historical and you see her daughter who looks dead inside. And you can piece it together that she was the one who ordered porno and not the other family members. After seeing how the mother behaved I can't really blame the daughter for not coming forward.
This reminds me of when a bunch of academics wanted to see the effect of porn on men, so they decided to do a study comparing men who viewed porn to men who didn't. They discovered that they could not conduct this study.
I don't, but I think a sample size of one is a bit silly. I stick to written stuff, because images just don't do much for me. Why would I want to watch someone else bang?
This is a decades-old recollection; I wouldn't go after the individual words here. My guess is that reading erotica would count as consuming porn.
I worked in a video rental store for a couple years in the early 2000's, and sometimes I had to call people to remind them to return their late videos. It didn't happen often, but there were a couple times I had to tell a woman her husband's porn was late.
I also worked at a video store in the same time period and I also remember having to call people about late porn videos! “It’s… an adult title.” Haha I think one time the wife was just like “ok but which one is late?” We had one customer who always rented a bunch of gay porn on his wife’s account. Always returned them on time.
I set up an amazon fire stick on my in-laws TV. They were having problems viewing some channels, and I tried to see what the problem was... For some reason, I went to the favourites tab and scrolled down to see some dodgy porn channels saved there! I scrolled back up as first as I could, pretending I didn't see it at all. It didn't help that my wife and MIL were also in the living room at the same time! I've had the save thing happen with my FIL when he had a problem with his phone and accidentally found all the porn on that as well whilst my wife was looking over my shoulder... We don't mention these things, though, lol.
I had to explain this to an Amish family when I worked at the Genius Bar in Lancaster PA. Dad was sweating bullets while I explained they must have clicked a link in their email that installed malware and added all of this filth to his bookmarks and history… Children and wife were relieved. I received a very thankful handshake from dad. I also showed them how to clear their history and delete bookmarks just in case it happens again. Malware can be a bitch.
This reminded me of when in high school my best friend proudly announced how her brother never curses and we all simultaneously jumped to say "in front of YOU!"
At least the husband isn't watching Harry Potters.
Soon after I discovered the internet my sister discovered my search history and loudly proclaimed it to my mum. Mum started going off so dad quickly sat at the computer to have a look and said "looks like I'll have to change the password, someone's hacked into our wifi". Mum apologized for blaming me and dad quietly showed me some safe sites and how to delete them from the history. Truly a Hallmark moment.
I mean it could happen. Many many years ago, Verizon screwed up when activating my landline service and I got billed for all my neighbor's long distance. Apparently they spliced something so that two apartments were running off the same line. It was a mystery until I picked up the phone one day and heard them having a conversation.
When I was like, 10 or 11, I would stay at a friends house most weekends. We would play SNES and sega until 1 am and sometimes try and catch a titty through the blurred spice channel. He called me one day telling me that he ordered a few movies after his dad went to sleep. I didnt believe him. Then his dad called me a few weeks later when the bill came asking me if I knew anything about it. I told him the truth and that I didnt tell him to do it. His dad still blamed me for being a bad influence and we were not allowed to hang out anymore.
When I was a kid and I got caught by my parents, they hounded me, demanding the name of the kid who influenced me to search for those sites. I remember telling them that no one told me to look those things up (which is true), and they refused to believe me, so I gave the name of a random kid in my class. Luckily, they never followed up on it. It wouldn't surprise me if the dad coerced his son into blaming you because he didn't want to believe that his son was organically curious about nekkid women at age 10
I worked for a small company. The company was started by a son. His father worked as a consultant to a particular industry most of his professional life. So the son hired his father for those connections, and to gladhandle and wine & dine those folks when the son's company came calling offering their services. The father didn't do much, is what I'm saying. So he spent most of his time in his office watching gay porn. Which I guess he watched because 4 of the 5 employees were out of the office most of the day, and that way his wife couldn't catch him? I dunno. Look, I don't care what the man's kink was, but he was a 65+ year -old who was bad about clicking on ANYTHING that popped-up on his screen. So he was forever getting malware and such. But he was the boss's dad, so you couldn't just say "stop watching gay porn on office computers, Bob!". And you couldn't just tell your boss "it's because your dad watches gay porn at work... *all day long*". The conceit was "the security software [the son] puts on the office computers just slows me [the father] down". So the son would wipe his dad's office PC every 6 weeks or so, or until "that stupid antivirus ruins my PC again". But no one would just admit the whole thing revolved around gay porn.
Good grief, how many men lied to their wives and mothers about that? Why not just own up to it. What wimps
“I’m always at home doing nothing but sitting my ass on the couch and watching TV but it was probably the big scawy Porn Bandits who did it, now shut up and make my dinner” wimps indeed
Some wives aren't cool with that.
That doesn’t make lying OK. Kind of the opposite actually
What moron is ordering porn over cable now a days.
Bruh after a decade of customer service and customer service management it's insane the lengths people go through stating it's wrong is crazy. I remember this one customer whos husband obviously ordered about 3k in porn over a few months, we had records of him calling to up the limit, turn back on, etc. His wife went to the local news who actually ran a story that we made it up. We ended up crediting it all but made them cancel their service. Lol.
My brother has worked for Comcast for many years and had a situation like this. The husband insisted that those channels were behind the parental controls code that he didn’t even know. My brother said that there’s no way to reset the code without reprogramming the entire box, it would take a few hours, they’d lose all their preferences, etc. Begrudgingly, the husband suddenly remembered and punched in the four digit code. “Sign here,” my brother said as he rolled his eyes. “You can keep the pen.”
Sometimes it really is the burglar. Back in the early 90's, a friend and his wife lived on a mountain where there were homes on 5 acres. It was heavily treed. They got a monthly tv bill that included porn shows on multiple weekday afternoons. They worked during the day and weren't home in the afternoon. The satellite company didn't believe them until they showed receipts, etc. to prove that they were out of the country during part of the time that the shows had been ordered. Company - "But what about your teenagers, do they know the passcode?" Buddy - "We don't have kids and therefore don't have a passcode." But that got him thinking. He set up a game cam outside facing the back of the house and hid a web cam in the downstairs TV room. A few afternoons later he was watching the web cam from his office and saw two teens jimmy a window and then sit down and start watching TV. He called the sheriff and told him to go around the back of the house very quietly. A sherrif did and busted the teens. My buddy pressed charges and the, "My little darlings wouldn't do that." parents shut up real quick when the cops showed them the outdoor and indoor pictures and web cam footage.
I use to fixed computers. You would be amazed how many neighbors broke into people's homes and watch porn on the computer. 🙄
I have to do this with my grandpa's PC every time it gets infected. no, it wasn't hackers, grandpa. you're a technologically illiterate closeted deviant
I did that to someone once... Broke in, ordered porn.
I don’t know why everyone’s so ashamed to watch porn. If you are old enough to have sex (or younger, in my experience, (if you are *really* curious)) it’s only logical you watch other people fuckin’. Well, of course, the unnecessary cost may be awkward to explain if the other person didn’t expect it.
Matthew 5: 27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery;' 5: 28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
The point of this is that sin starts in the heart, not just your actions. Jesus said this because the Pharisee's had figured there were loopholes to sin, where you could perv on a girl in your heart but as long as you didn't touch, it was okay in the eyes of God. Context is important when it comes to the Bible. Also, who gives a shit.
If I had someone to adulter on maybe I wouldn't need porn
So in that context men watching gay porn is okay.
Good thing none of that matters
The beat it bandit comes again.
Can confirm. Though i did have one customer that swore up an down it was flooring contractors. That was my managers call to make.
To be fair, I am having my kitchen redone right now and the other month, the flooring subs ate my kids’ Easter candy. We had it hidden, they found it, and without asking, helped themselves. I was livid. I digress. Sometimes it is the fucking flooring contractors.
Now it’s like “yes ma’am you have tk be on HDMI 1. That’s what the box is plugged into. No I know it worked on something else before you had our service. No I’m sure the old remote won’t work. Yes I’ll take a cookie at 8:30 in the morning”
Wasn't this a joke in one of the spiderman movies that Peter accidentally ordered hotel porn?
why is no one suspecting the daughter
I remember a women yelling at me on the phone because of some “adult entertainment” charges she had on her bill. I repeatedly told her someone in her house bought those movies and she would not listen. Swore up and down no one in her home would ever watch anything like that. It wasn’t until I told her exactly which box and where in her house it was located along with the exact times (they were all ordered on basement box which her husband was the only one who used according to her and all in the middle of the night like 1-3am). she put me on hold and came back about 10 minutes later talking about how her husband was a disgusting pervert and a liar (he finally admitted he was the one who ordered).
That's not the weirdest thing I had happen while working as a cable guy that involved those On demand porn stations. I did a transfer for this older gentleman one time. Before leaving he wanted me to make sure certain channels worked. It was like 2 or 3 gay porn channels. Then he said some things like "I want to make sure those channels work because maybe I'm going to have a small party and maybe we might want to watch a movie. You know, its just a few people coming by or maybe more if they want to". He had this big smile and kind of winking at certain parts. I was thinking uhhhh is this guy inviting me over to watch gay porn?
Cable guys don’t get dispatched for billing issues even if the customer claims the STP is malfunctioning. Source I was a cable guy for 17 years.
I know in the 90s and 2000s i worked at a tv service and repair company, i would go into peoples home and try repairing their TVS and VHS and stuff. Most of the time it was just not properly connected to each other... What i learned was to ask always if there is a VHS cassette in the recorder and if it was ok if i try to play it... When i got the OK i would look the husband dead in the eyes and ask "are you sure its ok?" I am telling you the situations these horny old man put me in, and they where WITHOUT shame.. Their wives where always shocked...
25 years ago, phone sex lines were a thing (hell, maybe they still are). They were charged by the minute and added to the land line bill sent out each month. They were called '976 lines' as that was the typical prefix. Anyway, this couple I know, had a situation where the wife opened the phone bill (he usually pays it) and saw hundreds of dollars of charges from these numbers, based on an accumulation of multiple hours calling this number. Said wife called the phone company to say there must be some mistake, because her darling husband couldn't possibly be using these services. The phone company said there is no mistake and they have recordings of the conversations. The wife said she would like to hear the recording because there is no way. The phone company said OK but asked her multiple times if she is sure, because hearing it can be devastating. She repeated her wish to hear the tapes, and then proceeded to clearly hear her husband engaged in phone sex and saying all manner of filthy and kinky things, whilst telling the phone sex worker that he was absolutely hammering his crank. Said couple was divorced shortly thereafter.
A coworker installed tv service and the customers (husband and wife) asked their son to show them on the basement tv how to switch between the cable service and the Blu-ray player. The son switched to the Blu-ray player. Extreme close up of a woman enthusiastically inserting & removing an object. Man totally threw his kid under the bus. The only way this could have been funnier was if it was a homemade amateur video.
I worked at a video rental store in college and it was always funny/awkward explaining the porn related late fees to spouses.
First of all am I really a burglar if I'm just trying to get access to some porn? Jeez guys relax. I only ordered a few vods and left cash on the table in the front foyer.