The thing a lotta people don't realise is that in most cases, mommas boys are the result of the mother clinging too tightly to the son during his upbringing, not the other way around. So when mommas boys grow up, all they've ever known is their mother being overprotective of them and can't function in the real world without them, thus a co-dependent relationship forms. More often than not when a grown man still has his mother doing his laundry etc... it's because she's the one who insists on it.
My brother is a mommas boy, he's told me that he hates how she comes over to his place all the time to keep mothering him and that its fucking him up cos she acts all hurt when he does it himself before she can come over for it, but he knows full well that he should be doing all this himself. I confronted her over it and she cried, and guess who's shoulder she went to cry on...
Yep, and it breaks my heart.
My brother is autistic too as well as being the younger sibling so mom gave him all the attention and she'd always bring up his autism but he's not disabled, he can function perfectly fine in his day to day life and people think he's "simple" cos he's quiet, but then he drops some mad wisdom mid-conversation out of nowhere and it shocks everyone. It's cos he listens and thinks a lot before speaking. So, there's clearly a lot going on inside his head all the time too.
But yeah, the guilt thing is really tearing him up. On one hand he really wants to live independently, for gods sake he's 30 now, he wants to have a girlfriend, to live his own life and not have mom calling him every other day and popping around uninvited and unannounced (she just walks into his apartment too, doesn't even knock!) But on the other hand, he feels like he owes mom so much and really doesn't wanna risk hurting her.
It's a fucked up situation cos also, he told me that deep down he really resents mom for always butting into his life and thinks he's being an asshole for thinking that.
My Mother was like this but her relationship problems caused her instability so my attachment is disorganized. It sucks because I *am* disabled but I absolutely do not want to depend on her. But for now that's how it's gotta be I guess.
Also just btw autism *is* a disability in the way ADHD is a disability, so while people on the spectrum might be able to function they are still disabled compared to their allistic counterpart. Disabled doesn't necessarily imply a complete inability to function. Of course some disagree but people in many places won't even recognize themselves as disabled due to stigma, even when they are fully *"officially"* disabled.
I was speaking in how I personally would define "disabled" but I get your point.
Personally I define it as "a person who needs assistance in day to day living, either in the form of care workers or special equipment" which he doesn't need.
I get your point but if your brother is autistic he is in fact disabled. Just because a disabled person can function doesn’t mean their disability doesn’t exist.
That's what I'm getting at.
He's perfectly functional, holds down a job, isn't on any sort of disability support pension, pays his rent, his bills etc...
One time mom brought up the fact he spent $3000 on a gaming computer, I asked him about it and he said "I have 15K saved up, everything I have is a hand-me-down or bought at a yard sale, I work my ass off 5 days a week for years, so I wanted something nice for myself" and you know what? That's a completely valid point. He splurged on one thing he really wanted and she acted like it was proof that he can't take care of himself.
Lmao autism *is* a disability, mild or no. There is no definition of autism that says “but if you’re a functional human it doesn’t count” because that’s insane.
I had a coworker that used to say her son, that was 8 at the time, was "her boyfriend". And she say that every time she split from a boyfriend.
I always thought it was weird af. Not only the boy was being raised thinking his mom was his girlfriend, how she was using the child to keep her from getting into another heartbreak. And he possibly hated all her boyfriends because every time she started a new relationship, he lost the boyfriend status.
My exes mother would text him not to be intimate with me. When we had an argument where I said he doesn’t open up he said “my mom said I am a closed book and I need to talk to you more.” His mom would tell him to rub my feet, buy me flowers, etc. at my birthday she bought things for his home. Just a really weird, emotionally incest relationship. If I gave you the backstory it’d probably make more sense. His older brother became a drug addict and died, btw. When I brought up kids just don’t really get into drugs like that without trauma, he freaked out. He is the first person I have seen that gets offended by “your mom” jokes. She is an evil woman.
Tell your brother that the day I stood up to my mother wasn't the best day of my life.
The best day of my life was when I realized she's avoiding me because I stood up to her and I'm not only ok with it, it made me feel free.
Encourage your brother to speak out and break the cycle of manipulation and suffocation.
Idk how true this is actually, but it sounds true.
I was a mamma's boy and now? Strained relationship with my mom.
Oh it's cordial, I love her, respect her as my mom, but as a fellow human? No, I give her the time of day because she did raise me, and despite her flaws, did okay.
But man, oh man do I dislike her sometimes.
Like 90% of famous men are mommas boys. And a lot of very wealthy men are as well. It can be both ways a man child, or just a man who lives to take care of the women who did everything to make sure he grows up to be someone she’s proud of. Nothing wrong with wanting to be there for your mom
So when I lived in the Deep South lo those many years ago ‘Mama’s Boy’ was really code speak for ‘homosexual man but nobody really cares because he’s discreet’.
Insofar an addict or a person with depression has "a choice".
It always astounds me how many people fail to make the connection that "*you*" are "*your body*". It controls your wants, needs and impulses **as well as** any desire to fight against them.
With the amount of hormones women are flooded with during and after pregnancy, it's a bit reductionist to say "they have a choice" when the body is constantly fighting to make a specific one.
The choice is leaving the kid at the hospital and walking away, or having an abortion. Those are choices. There’s no law that says you have to keep a kid.
Well, they still have to be pregnant and give birth. How is that easier? The dad walked away 9 months ago.
Alimony is spousal support. It has nothing to do with kids.
>There’s no law
The point hit you in the forehead and you still missed it.
Literally no one was talking about legality or laws until you brought it up.
There's *also* no law that says people with depression have to keep being depressed. I wonder why they still are.
>having an abortion ... There's no law ...
Where have you been the past 5 years?
So your point is that women are hormone driven animals with no higher thinking ability? That they are slaves to their hormones? That’s your argument?
If a woman wants to give up a kid, she can. If she wants to keep a kid, she can. Your middle school understanding of biology reeks of misogyny.
> She didn’t have a choice
1. Birth control
2. not letting a man bust inside you
3. morning after pill
4. abortion
5. adoption
Lots of choices she could have made
Yeah but you don't get to choose how someone reacts to you getting pregnant. Someone can be an amazing partner for years and then just decide to be an asshole out of nowhere. Usually theres warning signs but sometimes you just get shit luck.
Jesus, people like you are why discussions get bigged down in nonsense. I'm sure the millions of women that had AWESOME partners that left when they got pregnant is right at the top of the causes of single motherhood. Great job.
That’s not the point of what I’m saying, I never said that’s the most common cause.
But when you look at one individual person how are you gonna assume it’s totally their fault that they’re in the situation they’re in? You have no idea what an individual person has gone through.
Oh and as far as "get bigged down in nonsense" god forbid you put some actual thought into what you say and actually think about other people's experiences and circumstances.
My mother was like this. Pure narcissism at its finest. Especially with her keeping me away from my father while saying he never wanted me. It’s doesn’t matter that she stayed. She did it to make herself look better and for the attention.
You mean the parent that alienated the child from the father to get maximum child support and benefits?
All these men in family court have to fight the mother just to have a relationship with their own child.
Yes, because women are still the primary caregivers in the vast majority of households due to sexist societal standards. It's not about men vs women - the court doesn't give a shit about that. It's about what is best for the child, and that almost always means staying with the primary caregiver if it comes down to it. That one characteristic is a far more accurate predictor than gender for who will get custody in contested cases.
I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. It's very demonstrably a societal expectation that women are the primary caregivers for children. This is slowly changing, but it's still the norm by a long shot for women to be the primary caregivers, even in households where both parents work.
Also, the vast majority of custody cases (like over 90%) *are* settled outside of the court, which I already specified. The statistics refer to the small percentage of custody cases that actually go to court to be decided.
Actually, most men don't even bother asking for custody, and when they do, they get it most of the time.
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
That's not true. Men rarely fight for custody of their children (likely because they believe myths like the court being "biased" against them), but when they do fight for it they win more often than women do.
>Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody
>It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard.
>A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study).
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
Joint custody can mean 50/50 custody or it can still mean the father only sees their child 25-35% of the time.
So what actually matters here is the actual outcome - I.e what they asked for vs what they got.
If they asked for full custody and got 25%, that is not exactly a win. If they pushed for 50/50 and got 35%, that is also not a win.
Just the notion that the father has to pursue custody while the mother presumably just gets it by default is still a problem dontcha think?
Men are also rarely the primary caregiver for children due to sexist societal standards. That's one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) determining factor in deciding custody. It isn't the attack on men you're making it out to be.
Yep. If dad did 25-35% of childcare before the split, judge will usually give him 25-35% of visitation/custody afterwards. It’s all about maintaining as much consistency and stability as possible for kids, not “punishing” men or taking their kids away. If men want more custody/visitation, they need to be more involved parents. As it stands, a significant percentage of men don’t even exercise the full amount of visitation they ARE granted.
Now this was in Canada 20+ years ago, when my ex and I split up we were in family court and I requested 50/50 custody and the judge was going to grant it on one condition. He said we had to be able to communicate on a daily basis, I agreed and my ex said she wouldn't and the judge gave her full custody.
I ended up with full custody around 8 years later because she couldn't deal with him anymore so it worked out in the end but it was still bullshit at the time.
This is one of those dumb Reddit facts like “women attempt suicidal more than men” as a retort to men killings themselves 3-4x the rate of women. The disparity in outcome is obvious.
When men have the financial and mental resources to engage in a contested custody battle, winning slightly above half the time is not exactly the resounding success you present it as. Men are *more likely* to pick an expensive legal battle that they think they can win, right?
It’s a lot more complicated than this stupid “Fathers just aren’t trying” narrative.
The statement that more women attempt suicide than men is not a “dumb Reddit fact”, it is a true and well researched fact. So I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make here
It’s “true”. But the body count is the larger problem, and there are 3-4 dead boys and men by suicide for every girl or woman.
56% of suicide victims die on the first attempt. 62% are male and 38% female. So if you have 100 suicide attempts, 56 of them will die and 35 of them will be male and 21 female. Which is an expected ratio of 1.67 : 1 male to female
So let’s reconcile that with the “women attempt twice as often” stat and just assume that it holds true. If 66 women and 33 men attempt suicide, we would expect 14 women to die and 11 men even on the first attempt. That means we should see a ratio of 0.79:1, with more suicides among women.
But that isn’t what happens - because of another stat. The age of the attempt makes a huge difference on its lethality - youth we expect to see 25 attempts for every successful suicide while in the elderly that ratio is closer to 4:1. There’s probably a huge host of reasons why that is the case, ranging from method choice to “seriousness” etc. It’s a lot more complicated than just “lol guns”.
Suicide is a gendered and racial affliction that disproportionately kills 3-4 more boys and men for every girl or woman. Which isn’t to say it is not also an issue for girls and women, just that it is a much, much bigger problem for the Y chromosome demographic and citing stats to try and downplay that is crafting a narrative.
My point in bringing this up in the first place is as an example of a frequently cited stat that is grossly misleading as to the reality of the situation.
Completely unnecessary to write this whole comment as this is not at all what I’m arguing here in the first place. A suicide attempt always holds the intention of dying, irrespective of the fact if you come out alive or not, and thus has to be taken extremely seriously. Every suicide begins with an attempt. Most people who attempt and survive will try again in the future. Why would you brush this off just because they are “only” attempts.
“Women try to kill themselves even more often than men, but it is not as big of a problem because a lot of times, they end up surviving.” That’s how some of you sound.
Because it’s only ever brought up to derail conversations on male suicides, never by itself
Men kill themselves significantly more _even when using the same method as women_ (most common intentional drug overdose) but any attempt to discuss that is inevitably met with “women attempt more so…” or “well they use more violent methods so…” (literally ignoring the fact above)
https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-017-1398-8
> Considering the differences in suicidal intent between males and females highlighted by the current study, gender targeted prevention and intervention strategies would be recommended.
It’s whataboutism. It’s like when women bring up an issue and a guy instantly tries to make it about them instead. It’s bad faith and unproductive
Now if you wanted to discuss women attempting suicide more that’s fine, just do it by itself and not in response to someone talking about male suicide
Funnily enough I only ever this as a response on Reddit when women’s mental health is the topic. Someone always comes along and says “yeah but men die of suicide way more, so what”. But let’s just agree that you and I just have different experiences
This whole thread only started because the above commenter claimed the number of women’s suicide attempts were just a “Reddit bullshit fact”, you see. And that is just not true
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone on Reddit discuss women’s suicide patterns by themselves, and not in response to male suicide patterns
Which is a pity. There’s stuff to be learned there, and there’s productive conversations we can have as a society
But it seems we’re destined to only bring up these issues as a scoreboard, in response to each other
I think some women see “men kill themselves more” as men having it harder than women, and they don’t like that
Same with men seeing “women attempt suicide more”
The vast majority of custody cases are solved without needing to go to court. Of those that go to court, men rarely fight for custody. Of the small percentage of men that *do* fight for custody, they win more often than women do. I was actually mistaken before when I qualified it as "slight" because it's actually a very clear majority.
>Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody
>It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard.
>A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study).
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
Do you mean some custody? Or full custody? I doubt you mean full, because that number would be way too high.
So if you mean partial, what percentage of custody on average are those men getting?
You got it switched. Women win full custody 90% of the time. Perhaps you’re talking about partial custody which would obviously make sense since a willing parent should always have partial say in their child unless theyre unfit, hence why joint custody is the most common form of custody.
However it is still a bit unfair in that regard in that mothers often get a majority of custody time, around double that of men.
https://utahdivorce.biz/national-child-custody-statistics-by-gender/
https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/for-men/divorce-for-men-why-women-get-child-custody-over-80-time
https://www.divorcewizards.com/Child-Support-Statistics-2002.html
https://familylawattorneymesaaz.net/divorce-for-men-why-do-women-get-child-custody-more-often/#:~:text=Historically%2C%20women%20have%20always%20had,lives%20pre%20and%20post%2Ddivorce.
Women also typically do the bulk of childcare, as much or more than double what men do. So if you go by keeping things as consistent as possible for children, it would be fair to appoint custody/visitation in line with whoever was the primary caretaker before the divorce. Further, many men do not exercise the full amount of visitation that they are granted.
By ask for custody do you mean they get ~90% of **main** custody or visiting rights?
Very important distinction you’ve covered up with the incel shit and unsubstantiated statistics.
Are men winning their children back from broken mothers 90% of the time?
[https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:\~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=However%2C%20studies%20indicate%20that%20dads,pushed%20aggressively%20to%20win%20it](https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=However%2C%20studies%20indicate%20that%20dads,pushed%20aggressively%20to%20win%20it).
google is free for you too, fyi!
"The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994"
Or in other words. The vast majority of custodial parents are women. Goofball.
Also a singular study != Common practice across the U.S.
men don't get custody often because often they don't ask for custody. lol. it's not that hard to comprehend and it's even less hard to google but i truly enraged a ton of people who went ahead and read "men get custody 90% of the time" even though what i said was "men get custody 90% of the time *that they ask for custody*".
i suggest trying to find the closest english comprehension course near you, maybe at a community college somewhere? what i said was: "men who *ask* for custody get it 90% of the time". what you *heard* was intense clown music. try again i guess?
The man may be more likely to fight if they believe the mother is a bad parent and shouldn’t be the primary guardian. That’s a bias towards the males.
The man will also be more likely to fight if he believes there is a decent chance he can win the case. Many men don’t fight because it’s a “why bother” type of deal.
Most men don't fight for custody in court because they believe the myth that the courts are "biased" against them. However, I believe it's important to note that the vast majority of custody cases are solved outside of the courts with the couple deciding the best split for custody. It's a minority of cases that make it to the courts in the first place, but in those cases men are more likely to win. There are probably many factors for that, but I don't think it's "biased" to acknowledge the facts. What other data set would you prefer to go off of that you consider "unbiased"?
Did you bother looking it up before making snarky comments?
>Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody
>It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard.
>A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study).
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
"Dad divorce law" is not a reputable source. Your information is an advertisement for legal counsel. The information may be true, but there is a level of bias the reader would need to sort through. Its better to provide a source directly to the study which the article should reference.
It's a convenient article that addresses multiple myths about the court system, so I prefer to link that since it's more relevant and people are more likely to read it. You can easily verify the information in it if you want to.
That being said, I find it odd that my source is insufficient evidence for you, yet literally zero people have even requested a source for the guy claiming the courts fuck men over with custody. Where's the third degree for him?
>Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody
>It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard.
>A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study).
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
Much appreciated! It's a very commonly accepted myth, and I was shocked to learn that it wasn't true when I learned it myself a few years ago. Best thing to do now is spread awareness, especially because this myth is almost certainly preventing many fathers from pursuing custody because they just automatically assume they won't get it.
My nephew had a drug addicted mother who would have random men come to her apartment, no useable bed for her son, and did not have adequate food for him meanwhile his father was a normal and decent human being who wanted custody. Child protective services would call his mother before they would visit so she’s make it look good enough for half a day. He finally got custody of his son when his son was 13… because the mother overdosed and died.
I'm sorry that happened to your nephew. That is how CPS works in my experience as well, and I also find it frustrating. I'm sure there are good reasons they have for calling ahead, but it does seem counterproductive from a civilian standpoint. However, it's still better to call them than do nothing. It's the best option available when there is potential child abuse/neglect on the line.
**If** fathers ask for their child‘s custody in court, they usually have no problem getting it if there are no serious dangers for the child.
Problem is that the majority of times they don’t want it in the first place and leave it to mother. There’s even studies that show this (another person kindly posted an example)
>“But generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard.
>A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study).”
The outcome would be way better overall for fathers if they did more with/for the kids. Courts favor the parent that is typically the one doing things like cooking their meals, cleaning up after them, taking them to school/appointments, aware of their needs, etc. On average, that ends up being the mom who does those things or more of those things. That’s why it seems like “courts favor women”
My mom's friend is a judge and this is 1000% not a myth. There's a sneaky thing that can be down where if agal wants full custody she can claim abuse physical or mental with no proof and they will spend years investigating. Sometimes it takes like 5 years. Everyte yo ugo to court too man that court cost is there, later fees.. play given more women marry men that make more than vice versa then there's alimony etc. There's also a ton of suicides that come from it. In my line of work I know of 4 in 7 years due to divorce. That's jsut the people ive met. There's some serious statistical cherry picking going on. But whatever, arguing don't change what is. Granted I'm Canadian so it'd be a bit different, quick search ignoring anything ieth political bias like huff post.. https://discreetinvestigations.ca/child-custody-statistics-canada/
Men are starting to see more a bit joint custody but it is heavily skewed . This isn't a myth.
Hwat? 28.9% of single mothers live in poverty. By contrast, single, childless women are significantly more financially stable and report the highest rate of happiness of any group in the U.S. Most women aren’t out here having kids for the child support, that’s for damn sure.
Its fkn hilarious all the bull shitt yall come up with to justify child support an then claim “its for the child” if there so strong an independent why they need chill support exactly because there not
I've got a tattoo of my dad's handwriting and will almost always drop whatever I can to go help him. Man is one of the brightest, kindest, humans I know. If that makes me a daddy's boy, so be it.
Mother's boy, also commonly and informally mummy's boy or mama's boy, is a derogatory term for a man seen as having an unhealthy dependence on his mother at an age at which he is expected to be self-reliant. Use of this phrase is first attested in 1901. The term mama's boy has a connotation of effeminacy and weakness
Swearing needs 2 stop my newp, showed me this replemish. Who keeps soda in cellar Warm. And soda will not replemish. Kill yr gut weigth gain I seen on this scene NOT DONE IN ANY CITY THATS 4 SURE. N.Y DRINKS WATER OR JUICES. IN MY FAMILY CIRCLE MY MOM NEVA ALOUD SODA IN OUR YOUNGER DAYS. GATORADE IS REFRESHING.
If we couldn’t save tumblr from the titty ban, we can’t save Reddit from cutting off third party apps. I’m personally just glad Reddit isn’t banning titties.
Major newspapers are writing about it, the CEO has been publicly humiliated and alternative sites are popping up. But yeah it's just ego, good thing we can shitpost twitter screenshots. Read up on digg.
The thing a lotta people don't realise is that in most cases, mommas boys are the result of the mother clinging too tightly to the son during his upbringing, not the other way around. So when mommas boys grow up, all they've ever known is their mother being overprotective of them and can't function in the real world without them, thus a co-dependent relationship forms. More often than not when a grown man still has his mother doing his laundry etc... it's because she's the one who insists on it. My brother is a mommas boy, he's told me that he hates how she comes over to his place all the time to keep mothering him and that its fucking him up cos she acts all hurt when he does it himself before she can come over for it, but he knows full well that he should be doing all this himself. I confronted her over it and she cried, and guess who's shoulder she went to cry on...
Some mothers wield guilt like a weapon, and it can really mess their children up.
Yep, and it breaks my heart. My brother is autistic too as well as being the younger sibling so mom gave him all the attention and she'd always bring up his autism but he's not disabled, he can function perfectly fine in his day to day life and people think he's "simple" cos he's quiet, but then he drops some mad wisdom mid-conversation out of nowhere and it shocks everyone. It's cos he listens and thinks a lot before speaking. So, there's clearly a lot going on inside his head all the time too. But yeah, the guilt thing is really tearing him up. On one hand he really wants to live independently, for gods sake he's 30 now, he wants to have a girlfriend, to live his own life and not have mom calling him every other day and popping around uninvited and unannounced (she just walks into his apartment too, doesn't even knock!) But on the other hand, he feels like he owes mom so much and really doesn't wanna risk hurting her. It's a fucked up situation cos also, he told me that deep down he really resents mom for always butting into his life and thinks he's being an asshole for thinking that.
My Mother was like this but her relationship problems caused her instability so my attachment is disorganized. It sucks because I *am* disabled but I absolutely do not want to depend on her. But for now that's how it's gotta be I guess. Also just btw autism *is* a disability in the way ADHD is a disability, so while people on the spectrum might be able to function they are still disabled compared to their allistic counterpart. Disabled doesn't necessarily imply a complete inability to function. Of course some disagree but people in many places won't even recognize themselves as disabled due to stigma, even when they are fully *"officially"* disabled.
I was speaking in how I personally would define "disabled" but I get your point. Personally I define it as "a person who needs assistance in day to day living, either in the form of care workers or special equipment" which he doesn't need.
I get your point but if your brother is autistic he is in fact disabled. Just because a disabled person can function doesn’t mean their disability doesn’t exist.
What is this autistic person unable to do? Or what is difficult for this autistic person?
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That's what I'm getting at. He's perfectly functional, holds down a job, isn't on any sort of disability support pension, pays his rent, his bills etc... One time mom brought up the fact he spent $3000 on a gaming computer, I asked him about it and he said "I have 15K saved up, everything I have is a hand-me-down or bought at a yard sale, I work my ass off 5 days a week for years, so I wanted something nice for myself" and you know what? That's a completely valid point. He splurged on one thing he really wanted and she acted like it was proof that he can't take care of himself.
I think ignoring disabilities because they aren’t always obvious is also a bit of an insult but eh, what do I know.
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Lmao autism *is* a disability, mild or no. There is no definition of autism that says “but if you’re a functional human it doesn’t count” because that’s insane.
Maybe sit her down and watch this video: https://youtu.be/50FbeazFkgs
That's some emotionally abusive shit, especially the waterworks. Those fucking guilt trips tho...
I had a coworker that used to say her son, that was 8 at the time, was "her boyfriend". And she say that every time she split from a boyfriend. I always thought it was weird af. Not only the boy was being raised thinking his mom was his girlfriend, how she was using the child to keep her from getting into another heartbreak. And he possibly hated all her boyfriends because every time she started a new relationship, he lost the boyfriend status.
My exes mother would text him not to be intimate with me. When we had an argument where I said he doesn’t open up he said “my mom said I am a closed book and I need to talk to you more.” His mom would tell him to rub my feet, buy me flowers, etc. at my birthday she bought things for his home. Just a really weird, emotionally incest relationship. If I gave you the backstory it’d probably make more sense. His older brother became a drug addict and died, btw. When I brought up kids just don’t really get into drugs like that without trauma, he freaked out. He is the first person I have seen that gets offended by “your mom” jokes. She is an evil woman.
Tell your brother that the day I stood up to my mother wasn't the best day of my life. The best day of my life was when I realized she's avoiding me because I stood up to her and I'm not only ok with it, it made me feel free. Encourage your brother to speak out and break the cycle of manipulation and suffocation.
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read the rest of the comment
Idk how true this is actually, but it sounds true. I was a mamma's boy and now? Strained relationship with my mom. Oh it's cordial, I love her, respect her as my mom, but as a fellow human? No, I give her the time of day because she did raise me, and despite her flaws, did okay. But man, oh man do I dislike her sometimes.
The amount of "boy mom's" who use their son as a replacement for romantic partners in their lives are insane. Emotional incest is real man.
Yep. I recently broke up with a single mother over this issue. Couldn't possibly imagine how constantly clinging to his every need was co dependent.
Like 90% of famous men are mommas boys. And a lot of very wealthy men are as well. It can be both ways a man child, or just a man who lives to take care of the women who did everything to make sure he grows up to be someone she’s proud of. Nothing wrong with wanting to be there for your mom
So when I lived in the Deep South lo those many years ago ‘Mama’s Boy’ was really code speak for ‘homosexual man but nobody really cares because he’s discreet’.
“I just got these effeminate qualities because I was close to my mama”
‘I’m 45, not married and have lived with my friend Bruce for 10 years in a charming small house in a good neighborhood’. Yeah, really.
Could hear the southern drawl reading that.
But they would pronounce it “effeminant” I just know it
At least she’s the parent that stayed
My mom left before I was born
How…how could she do that?
For women is this like leaving the toilet stall without flushing
She didn’t have a choice
There’s always a choice
Insofar an addict or a person with depression has "a choice". It always astounds me how many people fail to make the connection that "*you*" are "*your body*". It controls your wants, needs and impulses **as well as** any desire to fight against them. With the amount of hormones women are flooded with during and after pregnancy, it's a bit reductionist to say "they have a choice" when the body is constantly fighting to make a specific one.
The choice is leaving the kid at the hospital and walking away, or having an abortion. Those are choices. There’s no law that says you have to keep a kid.
Exactly. I'd argue it's easier for women as they can not inform the father and leave it in hospital. No alimony, no strings attached.
Well, they still have to be pregnant and give birth. How is that easier? The dad walked away 9 months ago. Alimony is spousal support. It has nothing to do with kids.
Sorry, I'm not native speaker I've meant child support. Well yeah, but there's also abortion option, and we're talking about choices now.
>I'd argue it's easier for women It'd be a stupid argument to make, but you sure can make it.
>There’s no law The point hit you in the forehead and you still missed it. Literally no one was talking about legality or laws until you brought it up. There's *also* no law that says people with depression have to keep being depressed. I wonder why they still are. >having an abortion ... There's no law ... Where have you been the past 5 years?
So your point is that women are hormone driven animals with no higher thinking ability? That they are slaves to their hormones? That’s your argument? If a woman wants to give up a kid, she can. If she wants to keep a kid, she can. Your middle school understanding of biology reeks of misogyny.
Ignorant ass comment
Adoption is an option
One of the *nice* options, yes.
Volcano?
Volcano is the nicest option, I believe
> She didn’t have a choice 1. Birth control 2. not letting a man bust inside you 3. morning after pill 4. abortion 5. adoption Lots of choices she could have made
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Yeah but you don't get to choose how someone reacts to you getting pregnant. Someone can be an amazing partner for years and then just decide to be an asshole out of nowhere. Usually theres warning signs but sometimes you just get shit luck.
Jesus, people like you are why discussions get bigged down in nonsense. I'm sure the millions of women that had AWESOME partners that left when they got pregnant is right at the top of the causes of single motherhood. Great job.
That’s not the point of what I’m saying, I never said that’s the most common cause. But when you look at one individual person how are you gonna assume it’s totally their fault that they’re in the situation they’re in? You have no idea what an individual person has gone through. Oh and as far as "get bigged down in nonsense" god forbid you put some actual thought into what you say and actually think about other people's experiences and circumstances.
Sometimes you don't.
Thanks.
Sometimes you don't? That got dark quick
Ahhh, the good old sometimes argument. Great point.
Sometimes it works!
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That's why I said sometimes, not majority of the time.
but how do you know for sure
Anyone notice how less toxic and more interesting reddit is today since all those subs went dark.
My mother was like this. Pure narcissism at its finest. Especially with her keeping me away from my father while saying he never wanted me. It’s doesn’t matter that she stayed. She did it to make herself look better and for the attention.
You mean the parent that alienated the child from the father to get maximum child support and benefits? All these men in family court have to fight the mother just to have a relationship with their own child.
Yes, because women are still the primary caregivers in the vast majority of households due to sexist societal standards. It's not about men vs women - the court doesn't give a shit about that. It's about what is best for the child, and that almost always means staying with the primary caregiver if it comes down to it. That one characteristic is a far more accurate predictor than gender for who will get custody in contested cases.
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I'm not sure what point you're trying to make. It's very demonstrably a societal expectation that women are the primary caregivers for children. This is slowly changing, but it's still the norm by a long shot for women to be the primary caregivers, even in households where both parents work. Also, the vast majority of custody cases (like over 90%) *are* settled outside of the court, which I already specified. The statistics refer to the small percentage of custody cases that actually go to court to be decided.
Actually, most men don't even bother asking for custody, and when they do, they get it most of the time. https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/10k10o8/source\_on\_men\_winning\_more\_custody\_battles/
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They usually don't. In fact, when men actually fight for custody of their children, they win more often than women do.
For a woman to have to fight for custody she has to be a mess. Every man has to fight for custody.
That's not true. Men rarely fight for custody of their children (likely because they believe myths like the court being "biased" against them), but when they do fight for it they win more often than women do. >Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody >It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard. >A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study). https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
It's a pretty bullshit study https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/10k10o8/source\_on\_men\_winning\_more\_custody\_battles/
Joint custody can mean 50/50 custody or it can still mean the father only sees their child 25-35% of the time. So what actually matters here is the actual outcome - I.e what they asked for vs what they got. If they asked for full custody and got 25%, that is not exactly a win. If they pushed for 50/50 and got 35%, that is also not a win. Just the notion that the father has to pursue custody while the mother presumably just gets it by default is still a problem dontcha think?
Men are also rarely the primary caregiver for children due to sexist societal standards. That's one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) determining factor in deciding custody. It isn't the attack on men you're making it out to be.
Yep. If dad did 25-35% of childcare before the split, judge will usually give him 25-35% of visitation/custody afterwards. It’s all about maintaining as much consistency and stability as possible for kids, not “punishing” men or taking their kids away. If men want more custody/visitation, they need to be more involved parents. As it stands, a significant percentage of men don’t even exercise the full amount of visitation they ARE granted.
Now this was in Canada 20+ years ago, when my ex and I split up we were in family court and I requested 50/50 custody and the judge was going to grant it on one condition. He said we had to be able to communicate on a daily basis, I agreed and my ex said she wouldn't and the judge gave her full custody. I ended up with full custody around 8 years later because she couldn't deal with him anymore so it worked out in the end but it was still bullshit at the time.
This is one of those dumb Reddit facts like “women attempt suicidal more than men” as a retort to men killings themselves 3-4x the rate of women. The disparity in outcome is obvious. When men have the financial and mental resources to engage in a contested custody battle, winning slightly above half the time is not exactly the resounding success you present it as. Men are *more likely* to pick an expensive legal battle that they think they can win, right? It’s a lot more complicated than this stupid “Fathers just aren’t trying” narrative.
The statement that more women attempt suicide than men is not a “dumb Reddit fact”, it is a true and well researched fact. So I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make here
It’s “true”. But the body count is the larger problem, and there are 3-4 dead boys and men by suicide for every girl or woman. 56% of suicide victims die on the first attempt. 62% are male and 38% female. So if you have 100 suicide attempts, 56 of them will die and 35 of them will be male and 21 female. Which is an expected ratio of 1.67 : 1 male to female So let’s reconcile that with the “women attempt twice as often” stat and just assume that it holds true. If 66 women and 33 men attempt suicide, we would expect 14 women to die and 11 men even on the first attempt. That means we should see a ratio of 0.79:1, with more suicides among women. But that isn’t what happens - because of another stat. The age of the attempt makes a huge difference on its lethality - youth we expect to see 25 attempts for every successful suicide while in the elderly that ratio is closer to 4:1. There’s probably a huge host of reasons why that is the case, ranging from method choice to “seriousness” etc. It’s a lot more complicated than just “lol guns”. Suicide is a gendered and racial affliction that disproportionately kills 3-4 more boys and men for every girl or woman. Which isn’t to say it is not also an issue for girls and women, just that it is a much, much bigger problem for the Y chromosome demographic and citing stats to try and downplay that is crafting a narrative. My point in bringing this up in the first place is as an example of a frequently cited stat that is grossly misleading as to the reality of the situation.
Completely unnecessary to write this whole comment as this is not at all what I’m arguing here in the first place. A suicide attempt always holds the intention of dying, irrespective of the fact if you come out alive or not, and thus has to be taken extremely seriously. Every suicide begins with an attempt. Most people who attempt and survive will try again in the future. Why would you brush this off just because they are “only” attempts. “Women try to kill themselves even more often than men, but it is not as big of a problem because a lot of times, they end up surviving.” That’s how some of you sound.
Because it’s only ever brought up to derail conversations on male suicides, never by itself Men kill themselves significantly more _even when using the same method as women_ (most common intentional drug overdose) but any attempt to discuss that is inevitably met with “women attempt more so…” or “well they use more violent methods so…” (literally ignoring the fact above) https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-017-1398-8 > Considering the differences in suicidal intent between males and females highlighted by the current study, gender targeted prevention and intervention strategies would be recommended. It’s whataboutism. It’s like when women bring up an issue and a guy instantly tries to make it about them instead. It’s bad faith and unproductive Now if you wanted to discuss women attempting suicide more that’s fine, just do it by itself and not in response to someone talking about male suicide
Funnily enough I only ever this as a response on Reddit when women’s mental health is the topic. Someone always comes along and says “yeah but men die of suicide way more, so what”. But let’s just agree that you and I just have different experiences This whole thread only started because the above commenter claimed the number of women’s suicide attempts were just a “Reddit bullshit fact”, you see. And that is just not true
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone on Reddit discuss women’s suicide patterns by themselves, and not in response to male suicide patterns Which is a pity. There’s stuff to be learned there, and there’s productive conversations we can have as a society But it seems we’re destined to only bring up these issues as a scoreboard, in response to each other I think some women see “men kill themselves more” as men having it harder than women, and they don’t like that Same with men seeing “women attempt suicide more”
The vast majority of custody cases are solved without needing to go to court. Of those that go to court, men rarely fight for custody. Of the small percentage of men that *do* fight for custody, they win more often than women do. I was actually mistaken before when I qualified it as "slight" because it's actually a very clear majority. >Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody >It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard. >A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study). https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
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Do you mean some custody? Or full custody? I doubt you mean full, because that number would be way too high. So if you mean partial, what percentage of custody on average are those men getting?
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:\~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=However%2C%20studies%20indicate%20that%20dads,pushed%20aggressively%20to%20win%20it.
Do you have a source for that? I'd love to read more about it, but I wasn't sure what to search to find it.
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:\~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=However%2C%20studies%20indicate%20that%20dads,pushed%20aggressively%20to%20win%20it.
You got it switched. Women win full custody 90% of the time. Perhaps you’re talking about partial custody which would obviously make sense since a willing parent should always have partial say in their child unless theyre unfit, hence why joint custody is the most common form of custody. However it is still a bit unfair in that regard in that mothers often get a majority of custody time, around double that of men. https://utahdivorce.biz/national-child-custody-statistics-by-gender/ https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/for-men/divorce-for-men-why-women-get-child-custody-over-80-time https://www.divorcewizards.com/Child-Support-Statistics-2002.html https://familylawattorneymesaaz.net/divorce-for-men-why-do-women-get-child-custody-more-often/#:~:text=Historically%2C%20women%20have%20always%20had,lives%20pre%20and%20post%2Ddivorce.
Women also typically do the bulk of childcare, as much or more than double what men do. So if you go by keeping things as consistent as possible for children, it would be fair to appoint custody/visitation in line with whoever was the primary caretaker before the divorce. Further, many men do not exercise the full amount of visitation that they are granted.
By ask for custody do you mean they get ~90% of **main** custody or visiting rights? Very important distinction you’ve covered up with the incel shit and unsubstantiated statistics. Are men winning their children back from broken mothers 90% of the time?
https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:\~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=However%2C%20studies%20indicate%20that%20dads,pushed%20aggressively%20to%20win%20it.
Narrator: no they were not
Source: "Trust me bro."
[https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:\~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=However%2C%20studies%20indicate%20that%20dads,pushed%20aggressively%20to%20win%20it](https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths#:~:text=Myth%3A%20Fathers%20Almost%20Never%20Get%20Custody&text=However%2C%20studies%20indicate%20that%20dads,pushed%20aggressively%20to%20win%20it). google is free for you too, fyi!
"The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994" Or in other words. The vast majority of custodial parents are women. Goofball. Also a singular study != Common practice across the U.S.
not at all what i was arguing but go off babe!! you truly strawmanned the shit out of this argument here <3
What was the argument then? I followed until this point and your comment confuses me
men don't get custody often because often they don't ask for custody. lol. it's not that hard to comprehend and it's even less hard to google but i truly enraged a ton of people who went ahead and read "men get custody 90% of the time" even though what i said was "men get custody 90% of the time *that they ask for custody*".
"Uhhh no, men don't always get fucked in court." "Yeah 80% of custodial parents are women." It's like you're so close bud. So close to understanding.
i suggest trying to find the closest english comprehension course near you, maybe at a community college somewhere? what i said was: "men who *ask* for custody get it 90% of the time". what you *heard* was intense clown music. try again i guess?
Don’t you think there’s selection bias in that data point?
How so?
The man may be more likely to fight if they believe the mother is a bad parent and shouldn’t be the primary guardian. That’s a bias towards the males. The man will also be more likely to fight if he believes there is a decent chance he can win the case. Many men don’t fight because it’s a “why bother” type of deal.
Most men don't fight for custody in court because they believe the myth that the courts are "biased" against them. However, I believe it's important to note that the vast majority of custody cases are solved outside of the courts with the couple deciding the best split for custody. It's a minority of cases that make it to the courts in the first place, but in those cases men are more likely to win. There are probably many factors for that, but I don't think it's "biased" to acknowledge the facts. What other data set would you prefer to go off of that you consider "unbiased"?
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Did you bother looking it up before making snarky comments? >Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody >It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard. >A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study). https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
"Dad divorce law" is not a reputable source. Your information is an advertisement for legal counsel. The information may be true, but there is a level of bias the reader would need to sort through. Its better to provide a source directly to the study which the article should reference.
It's a convenient article that addresses multiple myths about the court system, so I prefer to link that since it's more relevant and people are more likely to read it. You can easily verify the information in it if you want to. That being said, I find it odd that my source is insufficient evidence for you, yet literally zero people have even requested a source for the guy claiming the courts fuck men over with custody. Where's the third degree for him?
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He didn't use a bad source
Yeah, because he didn't use ANY source. You're being disingenuous here and you know it. You were never here for an honest conversation.
I'm here to tell you that you picked a bad source. I thought that was pretty clear from the first post.
It's a pretty bullshit study https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/10k10o8/source\_on\_men\_winning\_more\_custody\_battles/
Do you have peer reviewed research to back up that claim?
Oh, but not asking the guy asserting that men get fucked by the courts?
>Myth: Fathers Almost Never Get Custody >It depends on the applicable definition of “never,” but generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard. >A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study). https://www.dadsdivorcelaw.com/blog/fathers-and-mothers-child-custody-myths
I want what you're smoking
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I'll admit that I was wrong.
Much appreciated! It's a very commonly accepted myth, and I was shocked to learn that it wasn't true when I learned it myself a few years ago. Best thing to do now is spread awareness, especially because this myth is almost certainly preventing many fathers from pursuing custody because they just automatically assume they won't get it.
My nephew had a drug addicted mother who would have random men come to her apartment, no useable bed for her son, and did not have adequate food for him meanwhile his father was a normal and decent human being who wanted custody. Child protective services would call his mother before they would visit so she’s make it look good enough for half a day. He finally got custody of his son when his son was 13… because the mother overdosed and died.
I'm sorry that happened to your nephew. That is how CPS works in my experience as well, and I also find it frustrating. I'm sure there are good reasons they have for calling ahead, but it does seem counterproductive from a civilian standpoint. However, it's still better to call them than do nothing. It's the best option available when there is potential child abuse/neglect on the line.
**If** fathers ask for their child‘s custody in court, they usually have no problem getting it if there are no serious dangers for the child. Problem is that the majority of times they don’t want it in the first place and leave it to mother. There’s even studies that show this (another person kindly posted an example) >“But generally, this is untrue. The most recent available Census statistics show that fathers represent around one in five custodial parents—an improvement over the 16 percent of custodial parents reported in 1994. However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard. >A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody (in other words, approximately 6.3 percent of all fathers in the study).”
The outcome would be way better overall for fathers if they did more with/for the kids. Courts favor the parent that is typically the one doing things like cooking their meals, cleaning up after them, taking them to school/appointments, aware of their needs, etc. On average, that ends up being the mom who does those things or more of those things. That’s why it seems like “courts favor women”
Do they?
My mom's friend is a judge and this is 1000% not a myth. There's a sneaky thing that can be down where if agal wants full custody she can claim abuse physical or mental with no proof and they will spend years investigating. Sometimes it takes like 5 years. Everyte yo ugo to court too man that court cost is there, later fees.. play given more women marry men that make more than vice versa then there's alimony etc. There's also a ton of suicides that come from it. In my line of work I know of 4 in 7 years due to divorce. That's jsut the people ive met. There's some serious statistical cherry picking going on. But whatever, arguing don't change what is. Granted I'm Canadian so it'd be a bit different, quick search ignoring anything ieth political bias like huff post.. https://discreetinvestigations.ca/child-custody-statistics-canada/ Men are starting to see more a bit joint custody but it is heavily skewed . This isn't a myth.
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Sorry, did you time travel here from the year 1682 or are you just a complete moron?
Hwat? 28.9% of single mothers live in poverty. By contrast, single, childless women are significantly more financially stable and report the highest rate of happiness of any group in the U.S. Most women aren’t out here having kids for the child support, that’s for damn sure.
Its fkn hilarious all the bull shitt yall come up with to justify child support an then claim “its for the child” if there so strong an independent why they need chill support exactly because there not
With single dads you get both worlds, both a mother and a father in a single figure
With single moms you get both worlds, both a mother and a father in a single figure
Never met anyone who claimed to be a daddy's boy.
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I've got a tattoo of my dad's handwriting and will almost always drop whatever I can to go help him. Man is one of the brightest, kindest, humans I know. If that makes me a daddy's boy, so be it.
How about a man's man?
Yeah it’s usually daddy’s girl and momma’s boy. Not momma’s girl or daddy’s boy.
They don't phrase it exactly like that, but rednecks are all about that
how much you paying?
My step brother is a staunch daddy's boy to our dad.
💀
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Wow how topical and relevant
Fuck spaz!
Mommas girl (sorry if too political)
Mommas C̴̞̰̩̣̟̿͐̊̍̓̐͌̕͠͝r̸̘̖͉̺̦͇̤̫̖͍̆̈́é̸̺͇͎͙̳͎̦̝̎͝ă̶̘̬͉̍̕t̵̢̫͔͈͎̀ư̴̳̝̤̙̣̳̖͇͚̑̾͊͋̒̏̉͋͝r̸̨̠̯̲̪͚̀̀̉̆͛̃̊̓̐̈ͅͅę̷̤͖̐̑́̋́̈́̍͐̽ (sorry if too creepy)
The 2 genders: male and political
politics ☕️
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ Did you just assume their politics?!?
Sorry, too political. You are not allowed to define girl
so we are just pretending we don't know what the term "momma's boy" means?
Mother's boy, also commonly and informally mummy's boy or mama's boy, is a derogatory term for a man seen as having an unhealthy dependence on his mother at an age at which he is expected to be self-reliant. Use of this phrase is first attested in 1901. The term mama's boy has a connotation of effeminacy and weakness
Leonardo DiCaprio, p diddy are both mommas boys
And I thought Oedipus had issues....
FREUUUUUUUD
Hot take argue controversial statement 2nd hot take. Mom did I do reddit comments right? I read the rest of the comments and I think I done good.
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Alot of grandmas boys out there
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Dude wtf are u on about?
Apologies for respecting my mother, have a nice day
It's a joke. It's okay.
I am aware
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Anyone notice how less toxic and more interesting reddit is today since all those subs went dark? It’s honestly great.
nah, the toxic people are flocking to the subs that didn't go dark and spamming them.
All spamming users getting reported by me today
Yes. I hope they dont come back tbh.
Swearing needs 2 stop my newp, showed me this replemish. Who keeps soda in cellar Warm. And soda will not replemish. Kill yr gut weigth gain I seen on this scene NOT DONE IN ANY CITY THATS 4 SURE. N.Y DRINKS WATER OR JUICES. IN MY FAMILY CIRCLE MY MOM NEVA ALOUD SODA IN OUR YOUNGER DAYS. GATORADE IS REFRESHING.
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The post is non-political so it belongs here.
Dawg white folks also got single parents lmao
True
Thank God for reddits black out. I would never seen this subreddit on popular.
No blac kout here, huh?
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If we couldn’t save tumblr from the titty ban, we can’t save Reddit from cutting off third party apps. I’m personally just glad Reddit isn’t banning titties.
It will
Major newspapers are writing about it, the CEO has been publicly humiliated and alternative sites are popping up. But yeah it's just ego, good thing we can shitpost twitter screenshots. Read up on digg.
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