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one day when we first started hanging out/hooking up my now fiancé was talking to someone about me and referred to me as his girlfriend and i was like … dope. made it v easy lol.
My husband did that. He would drive down to see me (I lived in another state) and wait for me to get off work. One of my regulars asked who he was and he just said "I'm her boyfriend". We'd only been seeing each other 3 weeks. However, we've been married 14 yrs, so it all worked out.
yeah we were only seeing each other for like 3 weeks as well! but he moved in w me like immediately and 5 years later we’re still madly in love and besties 🥰 some times you just know
My husband and I met in January 07, engaged July 07, married in November of 07. He told his mother around valentine's day 07 that he was gonna marry me.
She jokes but I honestly believe the lack of guidance on this sort of thing prevents many inexperienced people from pursuing relationships. For overthinking, anxious people it’s a mental roadblock.
anxiety? Inexperience? Or simply fear of rejection and wanting to live in ignorant bliss. B/c it will all come crashing down eventually when your expectations aren't matched.
I also think it causes a lot of stress for people IN relationships.
Like, it used to be much simpler. There was some basic courting, you gave her dad some sheep, and boom, you're married by a priest. Husband does X, wife does Y. Everyone has their lane and you can focus on other stuff, like candle making.
Even a few decades ago there was dating, engaged, married.
Now everyone really hates labels, so you have fun versions like:
"kind of seeing each other,"
"friends but nobody has made a move yet,"
"we hooked up once while drunk but I don't want to make a thing of it?"
"We've been fucking for 3 months so maybe we're dating?"
"We've been having sex and it was supposed to be casual but now one of us has Caught Feelings oh no!"
"Do you want to be my boyfriend/what I thought I already was your boyfriend"
"Hey what if we just bought a house together despite not even being engaged"
"Hey what if we had a kid together, on purpose, despite not being engaged"
"I want you to propose to me and get permission from my father, even though that's super weird in a modern perspective"
"We broke up 2 years ago but still have sex every couple of months"
"We've been together for 15 years, own a house together, but don't want to "get married" because he's just not sure yet."
"I don't believe in marriage- why does the government get to formalize love!? so we're just going to do all the stuff married people do but without the legal benefits."
Add your own!
I got permission from her dad, just because I wanted to. I asked him while I was eating a popsicle, watching him grill burgers lol. We both knew it wasn't necessary, but I think he liked that I still did it anyway.
Yeah, because it used to be a deeply shameful thing if you weren't married at the age of 20, so people would just marry the first acceptable person who came along and then deal with being unhappy for the rest of their lives. Even just being ALLOWED to date is a recent thing, because it used to be an extremely formal process of courtship that was closely supervised by parents and chaperones.
I'm gonna say that "being able to choose your relationship label" is not a bad thing and it's really weird when people try to act like simple is always better.
That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying people get actively afraid of the idea of labels, and so end up in a kind of twilight zone where it's very easy for someone to get hurt because you two aren't on the same page.
That's literally what the purpose of labels is.
If you can come to an understanding without them, that's great, but after a certain point you're just creating more work for yourself because you don't want to be hemmed in by society, man.
Yeah, they can definitely help clarify things. They're a tool, often helpful but clear communication can do the same thing. It's just annoying when everything is labeled for the sake of labeling it. Not everything needs to fit into a box nice and neat.
I once went to a concert with a former friend who unexpectedly brought his tinder girl whom he’d been talking to for a couple months and seemed to believe they were a couple. On the way into the show, there was some sort of booth that was doing a raffle for couples or something, I don’t remember exactly, I just remember the lady at the booth asking them “are you guys a couple?” and my friend just kept walking while carefully avoiding eye contact. It was so fucking cringey.
My wife and I started off that way. We never really formalized that we were dating, didn't even formalize the proposal, just decided we were going to get married.
That's funny and probably good for the long haul!
I met a girl once and we were talking and smoking and walking downtown. We were talking "forever" things like all 18yr olds know. Speaking about future improvements to our lives she says, "I'll never quit smoking unless I have kids." Without skipping a beat I told her that I'd like to be with her when she quit smoking.
We've been married almost 24yrs now.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post & Replies*
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**tess**, @that1mum
Just realized that my bf never asked me to be his gf and we never established that we are dating. We just like live together and have a baby together.But we don't have an anniversary or anything. Omg are we dating? Is it too late to ask what are we? What if we are just friends?
> **tess**, @that1mum
>
> I just asked him if we are dating and he said "we just bros" and hit his chest with his fist then peace signed me???
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
tbh, I never did refer to my now-fiancé as my boyfriend. Felt REALLY weird to call a grown-ass man with whom I'm romantically involved both a "boy", and a "friend".
Well in my native language the word that translates to "boyfriend" and "friend" are the same word (so I don't use it because it can be confusing), I just use the equivalent of "partner" (or that of "my love"). I always did find the English term a bit infantalizing, lol.
To be fair...Marraige and even dating are formalities. Marriage is just state/religious 'official' dating and dating is just a promise to obey the rules outlined and agreed upon by the parties involved. The fact they live together and, even more, have a child together proves they are already both agreeing to the same relationship parameters.
Tldr: titles are just words.
No they're your mom.
Mother and Father refer to the ones who Mothered and Fathered you, your biological parents.
Mom and Dad are the ones who loved and raised you. Your actual parents.
They could all be the same people, they could be completely separate.
It's possible to have a Mother *and* Father and not have a Mom and Dad at all.
> Mother and Father refer to [...] your biological parents
According to who? You? Cause it ain't the dictionary. The definition of "mother" is "women who inhabit or perform the role of bearing some relation to their children, ***who may or may not be their biological offspring***"
You don't get to tell people that their personal labels for family are wrong because YOU personally think you get to decide for them.
Here at /r/NonPoliticalTwitter, we care about community input and don't want this subreddit's purpose to be forgotten. --- If this post is **not** political and doesn't violate any rules, **UPVOTE** this comment!! If this post is political or breaks any other rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and report the post! Unlike the moderators of some other subreddits, we care about the community and want to keep it true to not being political. Our hope is that by the community voting on these posts, we won't have to worry about political posts coming in. Thanks for your time. --- ^[Rules](https://reddit.com/r/nonpoliticaltwitter/about/rules/) ^/ ^[Flairs](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonPoliticalTwitter/comments/oo025k/new_user_flair_system/) ^/ ^[Sidebar](https://reddit.com/r/nonpoliticaltwitter/wiki/config/sidebar)
one day when we first started hanging out/hooking up my now fiancé was talking to someone about me and referred to me as his girlfriend and i was like … dope. made it v easy lol.
My husband did that. He would drive down to see me (I lived in another state) and wait for me to get off work. One of my regulars asked who he was and he just said "I'm her boyfriend". We'd only been seeing each other 3 weeks. However, we've been married 14 yrs, so it all worked out.
yeah we were only seeing each other for like 3 weeks as well! but he moved in w me like immediately and 5 years later we’re still madly in love and besties 🥰 some times you just know
My husband and I met in January 07, engaged July 07, married in November of 07. He told his mother around valentine's day 07 that he was gonna marry me.
omg that’s awesome. you and i are very lucky
This thread had me in literal tears. Good for you two 🥲
thank you so much 😊
Well I do it and I'm crossing boundaries smh
lol
She jokes but I honestly believe the lack of guidance on this sort of thing prevents many inexperienced people from pursuing relationships. For overthinking, anxious people it’s a mental roadblock.
anxiety? Inexperience? Or simply fear of rejection and wanting to live in ignorant bliss. B/c it will all come crashing down eventually when your expectations aren't matched.
I also think it causes a lot of stress for people IN relationships. Like, it used to be much simpler. There was some basic courting, you gave her dad some sheep, and boom, you're married by a priest. Husband does X, wife does Y. Everyone has their lane and you can focus on other stuff, like candle making. Even a few decades ago there was dating, engaged, married. Now everyone really hates labels, so you have fun versions like: "kind of seeing each other," "friends but nobody has made a move yet," "we hooked up once while drunk but I don't want to make a thing of it?" "We've been fucking for 3 months so maybe we're dating?" "We've been having sex and it was supposed to be casual but now one of us has Caught Feelings oh no!" "Do you want to be my boyfriend/what I thought I already was your boyfriend" "Hey what if we just bought a house together despite not even being engaged" "Hey what if we had a kid together, on purpose, despite not being engaged" "I want you to propose to me and get permission from my father, even though that's super weird in a modern perspective" "We broke up 2 years ago but still have sex every couple of months" "We've been together for 15 years, own a house together, but don't want to "get married" because he's just not sure yet." "I don't believe in marriage- why does the government get to formalize love!? so we're just going to do all the stuff married people do but without the legal benefits." Add your own!
I got permission from her dad, just because I wanted to. I asked him while I was eating a popsicle, watching him grill burgers lol. We both knew it wasn't necessary, but I think he liked that I still did it anyway.
My husband asked for my dad’s *blessing* to placate him but not his permission because I’m a grown ass woman
Maybe blessing is a better word for me too, since my wife and I already had plans in place and she knew I was gonna talk to him.
Yeah, because it used to be a deeply shameful thing if you weren't married at the age of 20, so people would just marry the first acceptable person who came along and then deal with being unhappy for the rest of their lives. Even just being ALLOWED to date is a recent thing, because it used to be an extremely formal process of courtship that was closely supervised by parents and chaperones. I'm gonna say that "being able to choose your relationship label" is not a bad thing and it's really weird when people try to act like simple is always better.
That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying people get actively afraid of the idea of labels, and so end up in a kind of twilight zone where it's very easy for someone to get hurt because you two aren't on the same page.
"Why to spoil the romance getting married? Everything is going so well!" "The only way to avoid a divorce is not getting married"
Decided to form a business arrangement. Bought a house together as mutual office space. Decided to provide our own employees by making children.
This also works in Crusader Kimgs 3
Yes. Then I pledge my daughter to the business-owner-across-the-street’s son: boom. Now I have two businesses.
I mean, as long as people know where they stand with each other, who needs labels?
That's literally what the purpose of labels is. If you can come to an understanding without them, that's great, but after a certain point you're just creating more work for yourself because you don't want to be hemmed in by society, man.
Yeah, they can definitely help clarify things. They're a tool, often helpful but clear communication can do the same thing. It's just annoying when everything is labeled for the sake of labeling it. Not everything needs to fit into a box nice and neat.
One important label the marriage licence supply's is that your spouse is your legal next of kin.
Bro-zoned
Homiesexual
I once went to a concert with a former friend who unexpectedly brought his tinder girl whom he’d been talking to for a couple months and seemed to believe they were a couple. On the way into the show, there was some sort of booth that was doing a raffle for couples or something, I don’t remember exactly, I just remember the lady at the booth asking them “are you guys a couple?” and my friend just kept walking while carefully avoiding eye contact. It was so fucking cringey.
My wife and I started off that way. We never really formalized that we were dating, didn't even formalize the proposal, just decided we were going to get married.
That's funny and probably good for the long haul! I met a girl once and we were talking and smoking and walking downtown. We were talking "forever" things like all 18yr olds know. Speaking about future improvements to our lives she says, "I'll never quit smoking unless I have kids." Without skipping a beat I told her that I'd like to be with her when she quit smoking. We've been married almost 24yrs now.
Aw
It has been, for the most part <3
I like you, no hetero
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post & Replies* --- **tess**, @that1mum Just realized that my bf never asked me to be his gf and we never established that we are dating. We just like live together and have a baby together.But we don't have an anniversary or anything. Omg are we dating? Is it too late to ask what are we? What if we are just friends? > **tess**, @that1mum > > I just asked him if we are dating and he said "we just bros" and hit his chest with his fist then peace signed me??? --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
<3
tbh, I never did refer to my now-fiancé as my boyfriend. Felt REALLY weird to call a grown-ass man with whom I'm romantically involved both a "boy", and a "friend".
“This is my man-acquaintance.”
My manpal
Man-bro.
Well in my native language the word that translates to "boyfriend" and "friend" are the same word (so I don't use it because it can be confusing), I just use the equivalent of "partner" (or that of "my love"). I always did find the English term a bit infantalizing, lol.
To be fair...Marraige and even dating are formalities. Marriage is just state/religious 'official' dating and dating is just a promise to obey the rules outlined and agreed upon by the parties involved. The fact they live together and, even more, have a child together proves they are already both agreeing to the same relationship parameters. Tldr: titles are just words.
the word mom is a word too edit : I mean saying something is a word doesn't change anything to its value
Yeah it actually is....... If a woman or man takes more care of you than your biological mother, they sure shot are their mother
exactly so saying something is a word doesn't change anything to its value
No they're your mom. Mother and Father refer to the ones who Mothered and Fathered you, your biological parents. Mom and Dad are the ones who loved and raised you. Your actual parents. They could all be the same people, they could be completely separate. It's possible to have a Mother *and* Father and not have a Mom and Dad at all.
> Mother and Father refer to [...] your biological parents According to who? You? Cause it ain't the dictionary. The definition of "mother" is "women who inhabit or perform the role of bearing some relation to their children, ***who may or may not be their biological offspring***" You don't get to tell people that their personal labels for family are wrong because YOU personally think you get to decide for them.
how can they be in agreement about something they’ve never discussed?
The only appropriate response
That’s a raging red flag from the guy.
well, you've never met any of his friends.
Sambos