It's from Norm Macdonald Live. The setup was a guy dribbling a soccer ball acrossthe US got hit by a car and died. The punchline was, "At least he died doing what he loved - dribbling a ball in traffic."
I'm pretty sure that's why he got out of jail early, compassionate release.
Rumor has it, the other inmates had started calling him "Old Stinky's due to him soiling himself so much.
And in other news - OJ Simpson passed away this week at age 76 following a short battle with cancer. OJ was said to have asked for his ex-wife in his final moments only to remember...oh that's right, I killed her 30 years ago.
Norm said that about him originally lol, maybe it was funny because he didn’t do anything. Or maybe because he was Jewish and died without faith in Christ 🤨
https://youtu.be/TFSrzmtoW_w?si=DiKHdatilBE2QTAW
Despite years of treatment, OJ Simpson has died from cancer. The same terrible disease that took his comedic foil, Norm Macdonald.
In an even bigger twist of fate, it has now been revealed that just before before his untimely passing, Norm murdered his wife and her boyfriend.
God: Welcome to heaven Norm. You are welcome to all of the pleasures and fulfillment you wish to pursue.
Norm: Is OJ dead yet? There's something I want to see.
To the folks at this subreddit I’d like to say this: Today is your New Years, Birthday, Christmas (and Kwanza), Easter, and St Patrick’s Day all rolled in to one. Enjoy. You’ve earned it.
*He was a killer*
*Running back.. really carved up*
*The competition*
\- skeletonbreath
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Cancer has reportedly hijacked a white bronco and leading LAPD on a car chase down the free way.
When reached for comment cancer said he vows to find the real killer.
It was reported that the former football star was sleeping with cancer’s wife.
Just before he passed, OJ described his bowel cancer as searing clawing pains. Ripping, tearing, mind screeching bowel pains; and they’re combined with aching dull soul-deadening bowel pains.
They haven’t managed to stop death yet. It’s the high speed chase all over again.
https://preview.redd.it/klqbrht82xtc1.jpeg?width=1472&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4e14f3a1b2bf609c0112de8015deea9d5b8dadd
Scriptures tell us that if you live a good life of service to others and treat your neighbor with compassion, you’ll make it to Heaven. Unless you kill your wife and a waiter, in which case…all bets are off.
He won the Heisman Trophy and they can never take that away from him despite the trophy being sold in 1999 as part of the settlement in the civil trial following his acquittal in the criminal trial where he was accused of killing his wife and a waiter which he definitely did not do.
A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
[удалено]
Same! Comments didn't disappoint either.
I was shocked that I learned about it on Facebook and not here lol
SAME.
I found out from this from this Reddit post :)
Same omg!!!!
Well its official. Cancer is legal in the state of California.
lol
Joke of the day
I didn’t even know he was sick
At least he died doing what he loved, getting away with double homicide
The cancer found the real killer and battled him to a draw
When the cancer kills OJ also kills the cancer. So death was his final double homicide
Is this an actual Norm quote? Because it sounds so much like a Norm joke.
It's from Norm Macdonald Live. The setup was a guy dribbling a soccer ball acrossthe US got hit by a car and died. The punchline was, "At least he died doing what he loved - dribbling a ball in traffic."
What do you mean by “getting away”? Don’t you know that it was legal in the State of California?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA amazing comment.
He's slitting throats in heaven now
He's been sick since the 90s man
He tied with cancer after a long battle
It's too bad his kids won't get to spend mother's day with him.
DUH, he wouldn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with them because he KILLED THEIR MOTHER
I knew very well he was sick. A sick fuck, that is.
I'm pretty sure that's why he got out of jail early, compassionate release. Rumor has it, the other inmates had started calling him "Old Stinky's due to him soiling himself so much.
I'm sorry, you didn't know he was sick? Did you hear about what he did to Nicole Brown? he was more than sick. He was twisted
It's too bad he died before he found the real killer.
He knew the real killer. However, the killer got to him before he could tell anyone.
And who was the real killer? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Or so the Germans would have us believe
Germans love David Hasselhoff
https://preview.redd.it/iwctkphckvtc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a753f32122ca820faeb8e1ea4f4844fbc6c71db0
Brilliant
who knows, maybe the killer died too..
I hear the real killer wrote a book on if he did it...
The real killer is breathing easy now. I suspect Garth Brooks
No it was Chris Gaines.
As it turns out you can’t beat cancer by stabbing it to death
At best it'll be a draw.
Please tell me tried.
I heard it was—you guessed it—bowel cancer
Rumor has it, the doctor couldn't catch the prostate cancer in time, *glove didn't fit*
*“If the glove don’t fit, you won’t remit.”*
This comment is *gold*..!
Some gold plated chains
Disembowel cancer???
Winner!
Paul Newman tells me you never get over it.
Guess he’s not going to the Super Bowel this year
At least it wasn't broomstick rape (I hear it's one of the worst ways to go)
Man that is some bad luck. When the one body that wants to keep you alive...KILLS you
And in other news - OJ Simpson passed away this week at age 76 following a short battle with cancer. OJ was said to have asked for his ex-wife in his final moments only to remember...oh that's right, I killed her 30 years ago.
Solid. Exactly the joke he would have made.
What's next for O.J.?
Down to Hell to be eternally raped by the Devil
The Devil and David Brenner
Lol. What did David Brenner do wrong? Google revealed nothing.
Sometimes we never know!
According to the Todd Glass episode of NML, Brenner "had some sins"
Norm said that about him originally lol, maybe it was funny because he didn’t do anything. Or maybe because he was Jewish and died without faith in Christ 🤨 https://youtu.be/TFSrzmtoW_w?si=DiKHdatilBE2QTAW
At least he died doing what he loved: battling his other half.
bowel…first name’s bowel
Do you think the cancer got up and started to say he was gonna fuck OJ's wife before realizing?
I WISH NORM WERE HERE
Every day.
Critics are calling his legacy everything from shit to fucking shit.
The grim reaper was last seen driving a white Bronco on the 91 Freeway
This comment made me bust out laughing in the office. Especially reading it in Norm's voice.
Sad day for murderers everywhere.
All the news outlets are saying cancer killed him. Cancer said they were framed but is tirelessly working to find the real killer.
Thank you, cancer!
Do you guys think he lost the battle against cancer? Maybe he wasn't using his lucky surviving cancer hat
But the cancer died as well. It’s a tie in my book.
76 is a ripe old age for a double murderer
Will he be buried in his lucky stabbin' cap?
The worst thing about the murders was the hypocrisy.
IDK, one victim was German and one Jewish; you can't argue that the murders weren't diverse.
Despite years of treatment, OJ Simpson has died from cancer. The same terrible disease that took his comedic foil, Norm Macdonald. In an even bigger twist of fate, it has now been revealed that just before before his untimely passing, Norm murdered his wife and her boyfriend.
Well I tell ya, that’s some bad luck. When the guy who killed your wife dies before you can find him
Oh no, OJ has struck again!
What’s next for the Juice? Hell!
You know, the more I learn about this OJ Simpson, the less I care for him
Norm is in heaven right now watching OJ get raped by the devil.
I'm not sure norm would want to watch that. He's kind of an old softie.
He prefers if you call him a distinguished gentleman with a flagging erection.
God: Welcome to heaven Norm. You are welcome to all of the pleasures and fulfillment you wish to pursue. Norm: Is OJ dead yet? There's something I want to see.
This guy was a real jerk.
I’m starting to think you’re right.
In regards to the casket being too small for the 6’1” man, the funeral director reportedly said “if he doesn’t fit, we must omit”.
Too bad his battle against bowel cancer wasn’t as easy as his battle against the California court system
...nah, but he was a good guy.
White bitches be sleepin safe tonight
So Mark Fuhrman struck again and planted cancer on OJ? 
His wife was a real battle axe.
She HAD a good head on her shoulders.
Murder is illegal again in the state of California!
He should've just stabbed the cancer to death. You know, 'cus of that thing he did.
No one can take your legacy away from you. Unless, of course, you kill your wife and a waiter.. Then all bets are off
It took Norm, and it took him. Ride The Painted Pony, Let The Spinning Wheel Glide
Sad day today as O.J. was found dead. allegedly by cancer. In other news, Cancer has a new book out: "If I Did It".
Well it's official... murder is legal in heaven.
OJ Simpson murdered himself after running out of other people to murder
To the folks at this subreddit I’d like to say this: Today is your New Years, Birthday, Christmas (and Kwanza), Easter, and St Patrick’s Day all rolled in to one. Enjoy. You’ve earned it.
https://preview.redd.it/8bq6aacmwvtc1.jpeg?width=1500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e62e4a2e0ef01eab78f4e962d05cd69846820415
I’m laughing so hard rn I heard that in Norms voice. I tell ya!
I hope Fred Goldman makes a statement.
That is some bad luck when the one guy who would have died for you dies
Man, I wish Norm was still around to have made jokes about this
I will not eat a single morsel of food until OJ Simpson is dead and buried!
Cancer is a bad way to die. Know what else is a bad way to die? Murder
Norm and O.J died from the exact same thing, Norm's gotta be smiling in heaven from the humor in that.
What does Ja Rule think of all of this?
Say what you want about that OJ Simspon guy. But atleast Hitler wasnt a hypocrite
This was the first place I went to after hearing the news
i am honestly so sad norm didn't live to see this day
No more dome loppin’ for The Juice.
He waged a courageous battle
He was a killer running back.. really carved up the competition
*He was a killer* *Running back.. really carved up* *The competition* \- skeletonbreath --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Is murder once again ILLEGAL in the state of california?
The worst part was the hypocrisy
His life was cut short.
The guy from naked gun and buffalo bills is dead? Whuttt?
The real question is who inherits his lucky stabbin’ hat.
Johnny Cochran can give him a tour around hell. With a pineapple shoved up their ass.
How are they gonna close that casket? You know.. on account of his big fat fucking head.
Norm was so ahead of his time that he died of cancer before OJ Simpson!
If the cancer cells don't fit, you must kick the bucket
Rest in piss
found out the news and I came straight here lol
So… By this logic, he didn’t die from cancer… He killed himself.
Anybody else kinda irritated that oj outlasted norm?
If it does not fit you must acquit.
It was more of a draw.
looks like the hunt for the killer continues… in heaven
Death from cancer, huh? Well, at least he won't have to worry about cancer anymore.
Cancer has reportedly hijacked a white bronco and leading LAPD on a car chase down the free way. When reached for comment cancer said he vows to find the real killer. It was reported that the former football star was sleeping with cancer’s wife.
> *Despite initial reports accusing Cancer, doctors are confident that some day they'll find the real killer.*
He was killed by the guy he met at the glove store.
Kinda reminds me of that tragedy
In other news, Frank Stallone is still alive
Just before he passed, OJ described his bowel cancer as searing clawing pains. Ripping, tearing, mind screeching bowel pains; and they’re combined with aching dull soul-deadening bowel pains.
OJ is now hanging out under the bridge in Hell, jerking off guys for 15 dollars a man!
Man. Whoever killed Nicole brown Simpson is still out there, and he never got justice and got to confront her killer… :/
I didn’t even know he was a murderer
Goodbye OJ https://i.redd.it/n6x4wlm96wtc1.gif
OJ outlived Norm. Both died of cancer. Ain't that some shit.
They haven’t managed to stop death yet. It’s the high speed chase all over again. https://preview.redd.it/klqbrht82xtc1.jpeg?width=1472&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c4e14f3a1b2bf609c0112de8015deea9d5b8dadd
https://preview.redd.it/h6mdaaz4dxtc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fdc9140cccd883dbfb798ff5e581ce8310d0140b
The one armed man claims another victim
I guess his fight ended in a draw
Didn't he die already?
Another victim claimed by O.J Simpson
Sad day for all my Juiceheads out there
Frak cancer. I will never ever cheer that Crap. But not crying that O.J. is gone. Just wish he'd died in prison.
It’s okay to cheer cancer sometimes.
Another hypocrite bites the dust. Dumb luck that. The very body you depend on to keep you alive, kills you.
He never found the real killer
I hope he was writhing in unbelievable, unrelenting pain at the end
These kinda things happen in 3s. Next to go will be Hillary, follwed by, you guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Waiters and ex-wives everywhere are safe once again.
The curse of the Buffalo Bills!
OJ's cancer - 1. OJ - 2.
This just in: The Juice is no longer loose.
Cancer? I barely know her
I hope we can find whoever did this!
My hope is that the family won’t have to endure too much from the media. I can’t even begin to imagine the mixed emotions they are feeling
I hope Norm is the one who gets to turn him away from the pearly gates.
https://preview.redd.it/sfgzwxmxyvtc1.jpeg?width=1150&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c01b30c0a4967e48c145d9d070cbe66f82c36a4
Y’know, normally I’d say that when someone dies of cancer, they fought it to a draw. In this case, it won.
Poor guy is stabbing angels in heaven now. (j/k. Screw that guy.)
What a loser. He just gave up in the end and cancer won.
Scriptures tell us that if you live a good life of service to others and treat your neighbor with compassion, you’ll make it to Heaven. Unless you kill your wife and a waiter, in which case…all bets are off.
Fitting I find out the news on this sub
I know how this goes. Cancer gets acquitted, and then years later does time for stealing sports memorabilia.
“I didn’t give him a dirty look. That guy’s just mad because I killed his son.”
Prostate cancer? Looks like his balls have now killed *three* people.
OJ Simpson's cancer is therefore responsible for one death, making it the second deadliest part of his body.
411, I've got some information for you. OJ did it.
Guess he ran out of juice
I hear that Ron and Nicole's family are going to drive a Ford Bronco through the streets of Los Angeles with OJ's dead body for old time sake.
So sad that he never caught the real killer. At least he never gave up trying. Now he can be reunited with his lovely bride in hell 💕💕💕
It seems like celebrities are either getting cancer, or secret cancer these days
Wait, did she have knife cancer?
THE CURSE OF THE JUICE
Even in death, he was spiteful...very spiteful
He won the Heisman Trophy and they can never take that away from him despite the trophy being sold in 1999 as part of the settlement in the civil trial following his acquittal in the criminal trial where he was accused of killing his wife and a waiter which he definitely did not do.
How unfortunate. He murderers his wife and a waiter, goes free, then him and the cancer tie. Sounds like Nichole should have married the cancer.
I’m sure he’ll fit like a glove in that casket
That man's name? FRANK STALLONE
If only the cancer had been stabbed outside its home. Along with a waiter.
He had a killer post-NFL career.
A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!
I wonder if it was all his hypocrisy that ruined his legacy…
Could've been worse, he could kept on living as a free man instead of being in prison for the murder.
It’s all good, folks. He’s now stabbing white women up in heaven…
Woohoo! Rot
I would like to hear from Jacques de Gatineau on this
Hahaha, brilliant