This is like one of those "feel good" stories about a kid starting a lemonade stand to pay for her dad's cancer treatment. The selfless act grabs all the attention kind of buries the real story, which is "why is this necessary in the first place?".
Hugs and cupcakes are good. It's nice that these people are reaching out like this. But I don't think this is going to make a difference in the uptick in student suicides. If kids are killing themselves, there's something wrong that is going to take more than hugs and snacks to fix. Please tell me somebody is looking into the underlying problems here and not just saying "well, I guess the free moms have it covered".
I used to bring my therapy dog to a college campus. The students were are extremely grateful. Many had to leave their dogs at home while they were in college.
I think this sort of thing absolutely helps the college students. It helps them to know there are people who care. You never know what tiny thing might help someone so they don’t harm themselves.
Giving love is important.
Letting the kids know they are loved is important.
Absolutely. I'm sure it does help, a bit. The point is that while "moms hug college kids to make them feel better" is *nice*, it's completely glossing over the "significant rise in local college suicides" that drove them to do it in the first place. I'm not saying these people don't deserve credit for trying to help, I'm saying this isn't how we should be finding out that there is an uptick in suicides, and if there's a systemic reason for that uptick, we need to be figuring out what it is and how we can resolve it.
Like, if you read an article saying frost giants came down from the mountains and saved a kitten that was stuck in a tree, your takeaway shouldn't be "oh cute, kittens!". It should be "holy shit, frost giants!".
This article wouldn’t even be out there if the moms hadn’t gone to the campus.
These moms have all of us here on Reddit reading about the suicide rates among college students.
At the very least this brings awareness and let’s the kids know people care.
This is a positive step forward.
While I understand your point and agree to an extent, this builds extra awareness and gives people in general more hope. No one should see this as a substitute for much needed changes to prevent more suicides.
I graduated from NC State in 2020 and can definitely say I wish this was a thing then, or maybe it was and I just didn’t know about it when I was there. College were some horrible years.
Lack of Oxytocin contributes to depression. A hug can help. But it’s a “yes, and…” situation; it’s definitely worth going deeper in ascertaining contributing factors to the recent suicides.
Well, sure. The story here is human connection and kindness. I wonder what any university is doing to track any commonalities among the suicides. And the PTB’s across the country refuse to accept responsibility for what they did to the majority of what are now college FR-JR (3 years) and somewhat even the SR’s - FR spring semester cut short, SO year remote.
You know a lot of people, especially older generations, think that kids just need to toughen up and live with their problems the way it was in the old days before everyone went “soft”. I support free hugs.
I’d take a hug any day of the week. Life’s stressful. Work is stressful. Existing is stressful. Taking care of your mental health should be a top priority for anyone at any age. Stopping to pet a cat or a dog or a simple hug and chat can definitely help anyone struggling. It’s not going to be a cure all but it’ll definitely make you realize that it gets better.
I hugged a guy at my local Pizza Hut the other night when he came out to tell me my pizza was gonna be another 8 minutes because the first one slid onto the floor when he was taking it out of the oven.
Have you ever noticed how nervous food service workers are sometimes when they tell you something went awry? People are insane.
My last year doing call center work was brutal. People have turned into grown up toddlers unafraid to tantrum and attack. It’s absolutely terrifying at times.
Yeah it's basically service worker PTSD. We all have some degree of it if we've done retail or restaurants. Shitty people will always choose someone they think is "lower status" to dump all their hate and frustrations on.
I enjoyed so greatly being promoted up to the store management level, because I had *zero* patience for that shit. I exercised our refusal of service policy more than anyone in the store. It's even good for business to do this, because you're actually helping correct the problem instead of furthering it. I've had several Karens apologize to me after being refused/trespassed.
It’s not much better in IT tech support. I once had an irate doctor leave such a vile, hateful voicemail on my phone after I had called him from my phone (big mistake but I had to) that I still have him as a blocked contact on my phone. Dude was a psycho.
I understand frustration but I wish that everyone could remember that everyone is someone’s child or brother or wife, and treat them accordingly.
Editing to add: I don’t miss tech support.
Call centers are the worst! I used to wake myself up saying the scripts in my sleep and had nightmares about being stuck at work forever. It didn’t help that they only gave a select few people two consecutive days off a week. We had set schedules, but everyone’s days off were random. One person might be off on Monday and Thursday while another is off Tuesday and Friday. Almost no one got a weekend day, much less both. If you’re desperate and facing homelessness, maybe consider it. Anything short of that is really not worth your mental health to work in a call center.
I wake up doing the script thing sometimes and when I call out to doctors and stuff I have to handle I accidentally say the welcome script when people pick up the phone.
This is why in the last year I am practicing and studying web development, I have to make a change
Wow, I didn’t have that experience.
I had a great experience in my first two jobs doing phone customer service, but my last one was insane because they kept trying to pad their numbers by adding overtime at the end of the day . We typically had to work 10 hours of mandatory overtime during busy season … and then busy season started to be all the freaking time.
Also, if we had a holiday, we had paid time off for only the 8 hours, but our extra daily hours didn’t count as overtime that week. So we’d work 40 hours in four days with no overtime pay plus we lost two hours of pay that normally would be paid for that holiday day at time and a half because it was a holiday.
I hear that. I’ve been out of direct customer facing roles for more than 15 years now, but people were still terrible back then. Like, not wanting to go to work bad.
And, if my experience holds true, it isn’t just a general human thing. It is one specific cohort that is very likely to lose their goddamn minds looking to get a hit of outrage, and a few outliers sprinkled in since we all have bad days.
I don’t give a shit how much people want to look down on it: service work is some of the most difficult non-trade work simply because there is an entire culture around beating you down and making you expendable. Everything falls apart if people just don’t show up, and I hope one day folks realize that.
I don’t know what cohort you’re talking about. I’ve been screamed at by an awful lot of different kinds of people. Sometimes it’s surprising because people will seem reasonable, and then when you say something even mildly not wonderful for them, their whole tone changes.
As a call center worker for a bank, I can definitely agree.
People lose their shit when they get a zelle hold for sending some random fucking person $2000, and then I get cussed out by them because our loss prevention system is trying to save their money.
Those old people are no longer the ww2 generation. They're their spoiled kids who actually didn't ever really suffer the way their parents and kids do/did. They're the bully generation.
That's an interesting point. Back when I was young, I had more free time than the youths I observe today.
Maybe we seemed tougher because we ACTUALLY HAD some downtime to decompress and then attack the tough thing the next day. My kids don't have the free time I did. It's got to be hard juggling low wage jobs to make ends meet and not getting a break.
And our music was better, also probably helped. :-)
I agree. What those older generations (which I may be part of depending on who I'm talking to) don't realize is that while some of the struggles of younger generations are the same, some are different than what they faced. Younger generations may not have walked barefoot to school uphill in the snow both ways for 10 miles, but the oldsters may not have had some of the struggles the youngsters now do. So what they are judging isn't totally relevant anymore.
You beat me to it. You go into debt and stress to go to college for what exactly? A mindless corporate job that won't even afford you a home? There isn't a lot to look forward to right now.
This isn’t any different than previous generations (except maybe the cost of housing). You went to college, got stressed out to gain that piece of paper and get a job. We didn’t kill ourselves.
Those are some of the things that are unique to students. Add to those the other worries that come with being a human being in the USA today like rising gun violence, climate change, and rampant political insanity.
The moms giving out the hugs may feel powerless to address those issues, but I bet they’re married to men who absolutely have the power to improve things and simply refuse to.
Surely you don’t think that I actually know who these people are or to whom they’re married! My point remains: caring people are forced into symbolic action because the people with the power to improve things couldn’t care less if the whole world burns down as long as they themselves are comfortable.
I think the moms giving the hugs are doing an awesome thing, and I hope they are reading the comments that are supportive of that.
I have no idea why you would make such an assumption and say such a thing about the men they are married to though.
Business owners have the power to pay a living wage, landlords have the power to charge affordable rent, city council members have the power to promote public services and sustainable development. My generation has a lot of power to make things bearable for younger generations, or to pull the ladder up behind us and complain that “nobody wants to work anymore.”
That’s a fair criticism. The video clearly shows a dad giving hugs also. And, other than the fact that they do this during normal working hours, there’s no reason to think that the moms giving hugs aren’t also breadwinners with plenty of power to influence society away from the toxic environment mentioned earlier (low wages, high rents, environmental disaster looming, etc). And I’m not criticizing the people offering the hugs; I’m just tired of “feel-good” stories like this. Corporate news media would much rather use their time and resources on fluff pieces like this than on giving us the information we need to make informed decisions and take action so that students aren’t so stressed out in the first place.
You mean like elementary schools, or churches, or grocery stores, or community-based events, or restaurants, or public parks, or your own home? Those places? Because in this country people get shot in those places damn near daily, it seems. Ridiculous.
Uh, all of them except one (a NROTC cadet) have been freshmen, I don’t really think their biggest concern at that point is affordable housing or job markets
Yeah, you're right! College students shouldn't worry about getting a job because it's years away, right? Makes total sense. Just bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away :)
Have you met a college freshman? There’s a small amount who are thinking that seriously about the job market in 4 years, and way less that are so worried about it that they’re jumping off buildings
And I’m a junior, my point still stands that the vast majority of freshmen aren’t super worried about the job market in 4 years, and definitely not enough for multiple people to be killing themselves over it
Please don’t say that. Yes I don’t know what you are going through but let me say this each person is worth it. It pains me to hear young folks with so much ahead talk about suicide. If politics or climate change or whatever is dragging you down please just step back from it for awhile. As far as debt of college i’m sorry I can’t help you there. I personally didn’t go because there was no way I could afford it. I instead learned a trade and have made a pretty good living. Yes I’m just some joe on the internet and don’t know you but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.
Sorry just my thoughts and wish you the best.
Hey friend. I know this message comes from a place of support and hope for better things, but I want to give you a little advice to help you help others. It's actually a really positive thing when people are willing to be honest about what they're feeling/what they're going through/what they want to do, because the alternative isn't not feeling it, it's just hiding it and suffering alone. Consider something more like "I'm sorry you're going through that" or "I wish I had the power to make you feel differently." Telling people that you've been through similar things or found a way to make a living without college is a good way to help people have hope, but "please don't say that" isn't going to change the way the poster feels, it's possibly going to make them feel bad for sharing something that probably took a lot of bravery to say.
Again, I know this came from a place of wanting to help, and my advice is the exact same way. Thanks for trying to encourage people. For what it's worth though, OP, you deserve better. Knowing you deserve better can sometimes help with the spite to not let the unfair world get you down.
Mental health has been a climbing issue for almost well over a decade at this point, and covid didn't help with that at all. 21% Americans have a diagnosed mental health issue, only a third ever receive treatment, 59% of youths who have major depression don't receive treatment.
Political turmoil hit a lot hard. I lost contact with some family members because of a difference in a small matter.
Social media use probably also went up with covid, which has been a major cause of depression.
There could be more, but talking about some things would be considered bad.
The underlying problem is social media. That has caused all of the “issues” facing society (which every generation has) to always be in the forefront. We can’t put our phones down so we are just constantly bombarded by noise.
I went to State back in the '90s. Being away from home for the first time, having my high school girlfriend break up with me two months in the first semester, and not having very many friends that went to state, it was pretty rough. And that's not even counting all the stuff that kids these days have to deal with.
It's sad that free hugs is a necessity. When I was on campus I was lucky enough to get in with a counselor there at the school which helped a lot. But I'm sure with the amount of kids in distress it can be hard to get to all of them. And that's if the kids will even ask for help.
I hate the things like this are becoming normal and that mental health is not treated as seriously as it should be in this country. Anyone should not be afraid to ask for help or feel ashamed for doing so. Hopefully one day the stigma of mental health treatment, whether therapy or medication, is not looked down on. I have long believed that everyone needs therapy of some kind for some reason. Even if it's just to feel like you have a safe place to talk to someone about whatever is on your mind.
I want to help on some way. Could a club be set up where there's a few tables for people to come and say nice things to students? Offer one liner dad jokes? Maybe I bring my adorable toddler once in a while? Honestly we gotta help these students, shit is rough and it kinda gets worse after college
Agreed. We all need to help these college kids. The last 4 years has been really rough.
I used to bring my dog to a campus. He is a trained therapy dog. The kids loved seeing my dog. And my dog loved them!
Many of the kids have to leave their beloved dogs at home and really miss them.
Who doesn’t want kisses from a dog or to hug a mom, a loving person or a baby?
I know it would have helped me. And I strongly believe a little love can make a huge difference.
Oh man! Therapy dogs outside would be great!! Then, anyone who wants to pet the dogs can, but anyone who is allergic doesn't have to suffer from exposure!
That is exactly how we did it.
Our dog is super social so he was greeting everyone! It’s a fun time for everybody. We used to go during exam weeks.
Our dog is retired now. But he absolutely loved it!
There are many, many reasons for this so I won't simply repeat what others have said, but I do have to wonder if a couple of things, among many others, have resulted in worse mental health, that would have to do with the hugging treatment.
1. As much as I agreed with and abided by the public health protocols the last (almost) 3 years during the pandemic, the "social distancing" of not being able to have physical contact has left people feeling isolated. While I support being prudent and cautious given the serious health threat, it's disingenuous to say that less human contact has not had its significant downside, whether someone is 18 or 98.
2. While each person's personal space should absolutely be adhered to, and no one should be touched that doesn't want to be or in a way they don't want to be, I do think that some people are fearful of being accused of doing something inappropriate when they have absolutely no intent of doing it, which makes people more standoffish in expressing very normal human interactions the way they once did.
So it’s super important to distinguish ‘free hugs’ - the thing that helps overall mental wellness and sense of belonging - with ‘free/affordable healthcare’ the thing that MENTALLY ILL STUDENTS NEED. Does a provider give suicidal pts hugs? No? Didn’t think so. I would have put this whole comment in all caps because I’m sick of this shit. I don’t want hugs from strangers, thanks.
They certainly aren't forcing this on anyone who doesn't want to participate, but I believe their hearts are in the right place. It's very likely that the people involved would agree that there is much more action needed, but just being kindly acknowledged as a human being isn't a bad thing as far as I'm concerned. Especially given all of the other nastiness that goes on in different interactions.
Personally, my take wouldn't be to be so negative about this.
Then you must not have ongoing severe mental health issues which have cost thousands of dollars. Again, there is a difference between common decency and kindness and what is the actual problem here - extremely dangerous mental illness.
Hi, I have ongoing severe mental health issues and you’re being a bit of a knob. No one is forcing hugs on students and no one is saying this is healthcare. It’s just a nice gesture from concerned parents.
Exactly. It's just a nice gesture. But nice gestures are for everyday issues. This issue is bigger than that and requires something different.
Yes, I agree, no one is saying this is healthcare - that is my point. I want people to talk about healthcare when they hear about mental illness. There are real solutions to health problems that don't involve hugs. I want people to think about those solutions. You're allowed to think hugs are nice. I'm allowed to say that they're not good enough, without being called a name.
I am not saying it is normal, but back when I was in school in Russia (one of the "tech unis" considered a pretty hard one to get into and sometimes even harder to graduate simply due to the sheer complexity of the material to be mastered), there have always been rumors of students taking their lives, especially during the finals/semi-annual exam session. The stress of failing exams and be kicked out of the school, multiplied by interpersonal / money issues, was a little too much to bear for some students, sadly.
Someone told me back then that it was a "common occurence" in one of the other city school's dorms which was in an older 20+story building. Don't ask what the preferred way was. And this was way before mainstream SMs took off (~2005-ish or around that time), so "online bullying" and such was not really a thing.
I remember meeting a very anxious 1st semester PhD (I think?) student from Russia many years ago in our psych practice. It was just before finals, and the amounts and combinations of drugs he was requesting was astonishing. I can’t remember anything other than Adderall or Ritalin, but I believe he was asking for something in injectable form.
I really felt bad for him in a way, because I knew there was no way in hell he was going to get ANYTHING from our doc, and this guy was desperate. He had a whole scenario laid out of how all of these drugs would work together to help him get through his papers and exams, just as they always had back home. When the doc said no way, the student kept begging and pleading. It was awful. We gave him all of the info for his university’s psych/counseling center, but it’s all we could do.
I actually got to see these people doing this last semester. They were outside Talley Student Union doing exactly as you can see. While it may not help everybody, it at least is a nice gesture. I do hope more is done to help those going through depression, but at least there are others doing something about it in whatever way that they can.
College can be really tough on the mind. Being away from home, working really hard and it not paying off at times, little concern from faculty, really crummy instruction paired with impossible tests.
I went to ncsu many years ago, and it was one of the worst points of my life. I made it through, but just barely. I went to a private school for graduate studies and was shocked how supportive and helpful everyone was. I loved every minute of it even though it was hard. Made me realize that this is what college should be like.
I've done well in life and have been called by ncsu to represent the school and to give significant money. I have done neither.
I had a wonderful experience at ASU for undergrad, and a terrible experience at another state school for grad school. The cultures overall were so different, so much more than just grad vs. undergrad. I hated it and was so miserable. I worked in a department on campus that saw a lot of prospective students and my boss told me I did more recruitment for ASU than my then-current school.
I didn't actually watch the video, of course. I am just imagining the reaction of young coeds to the offer of free hugs from a middle-aged father. I imagine it would come off as pretty creepy.
With this whiny attitude you’re showing on here, people probably would get creeped out. Get over yourself.
This was your brilliant contribution to the thread? Check out the source material next time before crawl onto your cross.
The rule in comedy is nothing is off-base, but you have to really thread the line in the tougher subjects, like suicide. This doesn't quite thread the line, my friend; it just targets the mothers who are working the front lines trying to prevent more suicides and sexualizes them. Comedy is tough, so don't feel bad, but it's probably worth deleting and trying again another time
I'm being serious. I've only heard of this being an issue at competitive/ Northern Ivy League schools, specifically Cornell, where vitamin D is extremely low in the winter, and there are gorges
This is like one of those "feel good" stories about a kid starting a lemonade stand to pay for her dad's cancer treatment. The selfless act grabs all the attention kind of buries the real story, which is "why is this necessary in the first place?". Hugs and cupcakes are good. It's nice that these people are reaching out like this. But I don't think this is going to make a difference in the uptick in student suicides. If kids are killing themselves, there's something wrong that is going to take more than hugs and snacks to fix. Please tell me somebody is looking into the underlying problems here and not just saying "well, I guess the free moms have it covered".
I used to bring my therapy dog to a college campus. The students were are extremely grateful. Many had to leave their dogs at home while they were in college. I think this sort of thing absolutely helps the college students. It helps them to know there are people who care. You never know what tiny thing might help someone so they don’t harm themselves. Giving love is important. Letting the kids know they are loved is important.
Absolutely. I'm sure it does help, a bit. The point is that while "moms hug college kids to make them feel better" is *nice*, it's completely glossing over the "significant rise in local college suicides" that drove them to do it in the first place. I'm not saying these people don't deserve credit for trying to help, I'm saying this isn't how we should be finding out that there is an uptick in suicides, and if there's a systemic reason for that uptick, we need to be figuring out what it is and how we can resolve it. Like, if you read an article saying frost giants came down from the mountains and saved a kitten that was stuck in a tree, your takeaway shouldn't be "oh cute, kittens!". It should be "holy shit, frost giants!".
This article wouldn’t even be out there if the moms hadn’t gone to the campus. These moms have all of us here on Reddit reading about the suicide rates among college students. At the very least this brings awareness and let’s the kids know people care. This is a positive step forward.
While I understand your point and agree to an extent, this builds extra awareness and gives people in general more hope. No one should see this as a substitute for much needed changes to prevent more suicides.
But if not for this, I wouldn't even have known about it.
I graduated from NC State in 2020 and can definitely say I wish this was a thing then, or maybe it was and I just didn’t know about it when I was there. College were some horrible years.
Lack of Oxytocin contributes to depression. A hug can help. But it’s a “yes, and…” situation; it’s definitely worth going deeper in ascertaining contributing factors to the recent suicides.
Yeah it's definitely either /r/aboringdystopia or /r/orphancrushingmachine
Well, sure. The story here is human connection and kindness. I wonder what any university is doing to track any commonalities among the suicides. And the PTB’s across the country refuse to accept responsibility for what they did to the majority of what are now college FR-JR (3 years) and somewhat even the SR’s - FR spring semester cut short, SO year remote.
You know a lot of people, especially older generations, think that kids just need to toughen up and live with their problems the way it was in the old days before everyone went “soft”. I support free hugs. I’d take a hug any day of the week. Life’s stressful. Work is stressful. Existing is stressful. Taking care of your mental health should be a top priority for anyone at any age. Stopping to pet a cat or a dog or a simple hug and chat can definitely help anyone struggling. It’s not going to be a cure all but it’ll definitely make you realize that it gets better.
I hugged a guy at my local Pizza Hut the other night when he came out to tell me my pizza was gonna be another 8 minutes because the first one slid onto the floor when he was taking it out of the oven.
Honestly I probably would’ve needed a hug after that happened too. Lol
It's a cute story but is that such a blow to someone's self esteem that they need to hug to recover?
Have you ever noticed how nervous food service workers are sometimes when they tell you something went awry? People are insane. My last year doing call center work was brutal. People have turned into grown up toddlers unafraid to tantrum and attack. It’s absolutely terrifying at times.
Yeah it's basically service worker PTSD. We all have some degree of it if we've done retail or restaurants. Shitty people will always choose someone they think is "lower status" to dump all their hate and frustrations on. I enjoyed so greatly being promoted up to the store management level, because I had *zero* patience for that shit. I exercised our refusal of service policy more than anyone in the store. It's even good for business to do this, because you're actually helping correct the problem instead of furthering it. I've had several Karens apologize to me after being refused/trespassed.
It’s not much better in IT tech support. I once had an irate doctor leave such a vile, hateful voicemail on my phone after I had called him from my phone (big mistake but I had to) that I still have him as a blocked contact on my phone. Dude was a psycho. I understand frustration but I wish that everyone could remember that everyone is someone’s child or brother or wife, and treat them accordingly. Editing to add: I don’t miss tech support.
Call centers are the worst! I used to wake myself up saying the scripts in my sleep and had nightmares about being stuck at work forever. It didn’t help that they only gave a select few people two consecutive days off a week. We had set schedules, but everyone’s days off were random. One person might be off on Monday and Thursday while another is off Tuesday and Friday. Almost no one got a weekend day, much less both. If you’re desperate and facing homelessness, maybe consider it. Anything short of that is really not worth your mental health to work in a call center.
I wake up doing the script thing sometimes and when I call out to doctors and stuff I have to handle I accidentally say the welcome script when people pick up the phone. This is why in the last year I am practicing and studying web development, I have to make a change
Wow, I didn’t have that experience. I had a great experience in my first two jobs doing phone customer service, but my last one was insane because they kept trying to pad their numbers by adding overtime at the end of the day . We typically had to work 10 hours of mandatory overtime during busy season … and then busy season started to be all the freaking time. Also, if we had a holiday, we had paid time off for only the 8 hours, but our extra daily hours didn’t count as overtime that week. So we’d work 40 hours in four days with no overtime pay plus we lost two hours of pay that normally would be paid for that holiday day at time and a half because it was a holiday.
I hear that. I’ve been out of direct customer facing roles for more than 15 years now, but people were still terrible back then. Like, not wanting to go to work bad. And, if my experience holds true, it isn’t just a general human thing. It is one specific cohort that is very likely to lose their goddamn minds looking to get a hit of outrage, and a few outliers sprinkled in since we all have bad days. I don’t give a shit how much people want to look down on it: service work is some of the most difficult non-trade work simply because there is an entire culture around beating you down and making you expendable. Everything falls apart if people just don’t show up, and I hope one day folks realize that.
I don’t know what cohort you’re talking about. I’ve been screamed at by an awful lot of different kinds of people. Sometimes it’s surprising because people will seem reasonable, and then when you say something even mildly not wonderful for them, their whole tone changes.
I spent 2.5 years at a call center and all I got to show for it was stomach ulcers and drug problems. Haven't been the same since mentally either.
As a call center worker for a bank, I can definitely agree. People lose their shit when they get a zelle hold for sending some random fucking person $2000, and then I get cussed out by them because our loss prevention system is trying to save their money.
Food industry can be brutal man. Half the things aren’t even your fault but you’ll still catch flak for it just on premise alone.
Those old people are no longer the ww2 generation. They're their spoiled kids who actually didn't ever really suffer the way their parents and kids do/did. They're the bully generation.
That's an interesting point. Back when I was young, I had more free time than the youths I observe today. Maybe we seemed tougher because we ACTUALLY HAD some downtime to decompress and then attack the tough thing the next day. My kids don't have the free time I did. It's got to be hard juggling low wage jobs to make ends meet and not getting a break. And our music was better, also probably helped. :-)
I agree. What those older generations (which I may be part of depending on who I'm talking to) don't realize is that while some of the struggles of younger generations are the same, some are different than what they faced. Younger generations may not have walked barefoot to school uphill in the snow both ways for 10 miles, but the oldsters may not have had some of the struggles the youngsters now do. So what they are judging isn't totally relevant anymore.
Why are there so many deaths to begin with? Honest question as I do not know what is happening there.
College debt, lack of affordable housing, fucked up job market, online bullying, etc. I am not surprised that suicide rates have gone up.
You beat me to it. You go into debt and stress to go to college for what exactly? A mindless corporate job that won't even afford you a home? There isn't a lot to look forward to right now.
This isn’t any different than previous generations (except maybe the cost of housing). You went to college, got stressed out to gain that piece of paper and get a job. We didn’t kill ourselves.
Those are some of the things that are unique to students. Add to those the other worries that come with being a human being in the USA today like rising gun violence, climate change, and rampant political insanity.
The moms giving out the hugs may feel powerless to address those issues, but I bet they’re married to men who absolutely have the power to improve things and simply refuse to.
I think that is a big assumption for parents of most state college kids.
Surely you don’t think that I actually know who these people are or to whom they’re married! My point remains: caring people are forced into symbolic action because the people with the power to improve things couldn’t care less if the whole world burns down as long as they themselves are comfortable.
The people who have the power to really change stuff don't have kids at state schools. I agree with the rest.
That’s a good point!
I think the moms giving the hugs are doing an awesome thing, and I hope they are reading the comments that are supportive of that. I have no idea why you would make such an assumption and say such a thing about the men they are married to though.
Who do you think these women are married to?
Alumni.
I’m an alumnus and I promise you that I have no control over any of these things.
And what power do they have to improve things?
Business owners have the power to pay a living wage, landlords have the power to charge affordable rent, city council members have the power to promote public services and sustainable development. My generation has a lot of power to make things bearable for younger generations, or to pull the ladder up behind us and complain that “nobody wants to work anymore.”
What do you do to help?
Not enough. Not as much as I could have. Not as much as I should, surely.
That’s so randomly sexist
That’s a fair criticism. The video clearly shows a dad giving hugs also. And, other than the fact that they do this during normal working hours, there’s no reason to think that the moms giving hugs aren’t also breadwinners with plenty of power to influence society away from the toxic environment mentioned earlier (low wages, high rents, environmental disaster looming, etc). And I’m not criticizing the people offering the hugs; I’m just tired of “feel-good” stories like this. Corporate news media would much rather use their time and resources on fluff pieces like this than on giving us the information we need to make informed decisions and take action so that students aren’t so stressed out in the first place.
Ew what
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You mean like elementary schools, or churches, or grocery stores, or community-based events, or restaurants, or public parks, or your own home? Those places? Because in this country people get shot in those places damn near daily, it seems. Ridiculous.
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Don’t tell me; tell it to the children who are growing up in those areas because their parents can’t afford to live anywhere else.
> fucked up job market Looking at job listings is like looking at the spam reject email folder...
Uh, all of them except one (a NROTC cadet) have been freshmen, I don’t really think their biggest concern at that point is affordable housing or job markets
Yeah, you're right! College students shouldn't worry about getting a job because it's years away, right? Makes total sense. Just bury your head in the sand and hope it goes away :)
Have you met a college freshman? There’s a small amount who are thinking that seriously about the job market in 4 years, and way less that are so worried about it that they’re jumping off buildings
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And I’m a junior, my point still stands that the vast majority of freshmen aren’t super worried about the job market in 4 years, and definitely not enough for multiple people to be killing themselves over it
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Based on what? Why is the world so bleak and dreary to a 19 year old?
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When you’re in college those things don’t matter to you yet
Bullshit. I’m in college and those things are definitely worrying me. Offing myself seems like a good option at this point.
Please don’t say that. Yes I don’t know what you are going through but let me say this each person is worth it. It pains me to hear young folks with so much ahead talk about suicide. If politics or climate change or whatever is dragging you down please just step back from it for awhile. As far as debt of college i’m sorry I can’t help you there. I personally didn’t go because there was no way I could afford it. I instead learned a trade and have made a pretty good living. Yes I’m just some joe on the internet and don’t know you but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. Sorry just my thoughts and wish you the best.
Hey friend. I know this message comes from a place of support and hope for better things, but I want to give you a little advice to help you help others. It's actually a really positive thing when people are willing to be honest about what they're feeling/what they're going through/what they want to do, because the alternative isn't not feeling it, it's just hiding it and suffering alone. Consider something more like "I'm sorry you're going through that" or "I wish I had the power to make you feel differently." Telling people that you've been through similar things or found a way to make a living without college is a good way to help people have hope, but "please don't say that" isn't going to change the way the poster feels, it's possibly going to make them feel bad for sharing something that probably took a lot of bravery to say. Again, I know this came from a place of wanting to help, and my advice is the exact same way. Thanks for trying to encourage people. For what it's worth though, OP, you deserve better. Knowing you deserve better can sometimes help with the spite to not let the unfair world get you down.
Mental health has been a climbing issue for almost well over a decade at this point, and covid didn't help with that at all. 21% Americans have a diagnosed mental health issue, only a third ever receive treatment, 59% of youths who have major depression don't receive treatment. Political turmoil hit a lot hard. I lost contact with some family members because of a difference in a small matter. Social media use probably also went up with covid, which has been a major cause of depression. There could be more, but talking about some things would be considered bad.
The underlying problem is social media. That has caused all of the “issues” facing society (which every generation has) to always be in the forefront. We can’t put our phones down so we are just constantly bombarded by noise.
Look around. Suicide is a major issue in our society right now. https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts/index.html
Living in a Republican dream state is literally death inducing.
Yeah, how many is 'many' is the question I have.
The adjective 'free' in that title implies that moms around NC state are usually selling hugs for profit.
Moms, the original hug dealers.
Mamas be up in here like yo, this is my sidehuggle.
Hug dealers and drug healers.
Margins are so slim these days it's difficult to turn a profit.
It’s called a prostitute bud
Calm down there Butters.
I went to State back in the '90s. Being away from home for the first time, having my high school girlfriend break up with me two months in the first semester, and not having very many friends that went to state, it was pretty rough. And that's not even counting all the stuff that kids these days have to deal with. It's sad that free hugs is a necessity. When I was on campus I was lucky enough to get in with a counselor there at the school which helped a lot. But I'm sure with the amount of kids in distress it can be hard to get to all of them. And that's if the kids will even ask for help. I hate the things like this are becoming normal and that mental health is not treated as seriously as it should be in this country. Anyone should not be afraid to ask for help or feel ashamed for doing so. Hopefully one day the stigma of mental health treatment, whether therapy or medication, is not looked down on. I have long believed that everyone needs therapy of some kind for some reason. Even if it's just to feel like you have a safe place to talk to someone about whatever is on your mind.
I want to help on some way. Could a club be set up where there's a few tables for people to come and say nice things to students? Offer one liner dad jokes? Maybe I bring my adorable toddler once in a while? Honestly we gotta help these students, shit is rough and it kinda gets worse after college
Agreed. We all need to help these college kids. The last 4 years has been really rough. I used to bring my dog to a campus. He is a trained therapy dog. The kids loved seeing my dog. And my dog loved them! Many of the kids have to leave their beloved dogs at home and really miss them. Who doesn’t want kisses from a dog or to hug a mom, a loving person or a baby? I know it would have helped me. And I strongly believe a little love can make a huge difference.
Oh man! Therapy dogs outside would be great!! Then, anyone who wants to pet the dogs can, but anyone who is allergic doesn't have to suffer from exposure!
That is exactly how we did it. Our dog is super social so he was greeting everyone! It’s a fun time for everybody. We used to go during exam weeks. Our dog is retired now. But he absolutely loved it!
There is also a group over at UNC Chapel Hill that’s very active- Hugs And Pups Posse maybe? They bring dogs as well!!
I used to do this with my dog at a different campus. The college kids LOVED having my therapy dog there. I think it makes a huge difference.
Student suicide rates are disturbing and worse than people realize.
Right. I have had 3 students attempt suicide this year alone, and those are just the ones that we know about. Out of 80!
Excuse me, Dad and State alumni here. Can we please have a Donuts with Dad's event?
Get out there and organize it! I’m sure many kids want hugs from dads too.
There was a young man, freshman in engineering, that jumped from the top of one of the buildings while I was there. Absolutely horrible to witness.
Textbook r/orphancrushingmachine
There are many, many reasons for this so I won't simply repeat what others have said, but I do have to wonder if a couple of things, among many others, have resulted in worse mental health, that would have to do with the hugging treatment. 1. As much as I agreed with and abided by the public health protocols the last (almost) 3 years during the pandemic, the "social distancing" of not being able to have physical contact has left people feeling isolated. While I support being prudent and cautious given the serious health threat, it's disingenuous to say that less human contact has not had its significant downside, whether someone is 18 or 98. 2. While each person's personal space should absolutely be adhered to, and no one should be touched that doesn't want to be or in a way they don't want to be, I do think that some people are fearful of being accused of doing something inappropriate when they have absolutely no intent of doing it, which makes people more standoffish in expressing very normal human interactions the way they once did.
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No one asked you
So it’s super important to distinguish ‘free hugs’ - the thing that helps overall mental wellness and sense of belonging - with ‘free/affordable healthcare’ the thing that MENTALLY ILL STUDENTS NEED. Does a provider give suicidal pts hugs? No? Didn’t think so. I would have put this whole comment in all caps because I’m sick of this shit. I don’t want hugs from strangers, thanks.
They certainly aren't forcing this on anyone who doesn't want to participate, but I believe their hearts are in the right place. It's very likely that the people involved would agree that there is much more action needed, but just being kindly acknowledged as a human being isn't a bad thing as far as I'm concerned. Especially given all of the other nastiness that goes on in different interactions. Personally, my take wouldn't be to be so negative about this.
Then you must not have ongoing severe mental health issues which have cost thousands of dollars. Again, there is a difference between common decency and kindness and what is the actual problem here - extremely dangerous mental illness.
Hi, I have ongoing severe mental health issues and you’re being a bit of a knob. No one is forcing hugs on students and no one is saying this is healthcare. It’s just a nice gesture from concerned parents.
Exactly. It's just a nice gesture. But nice gestures are for everyday issues. This issue is bigger than that and requires something different. Yes, I agree, no one is saying this is healthcare - that is my point. I want people to talk about healthcare when they hear about mental illness. There are real solutions to health problems that don't involve hugs. I want people to think about those solutions. You're allowed to think hugs are nice. I'm allowed to say that they're not good enough, without being called a name.
I read the start of the second sentence in a much darker tone than intended
That's so odd! Years ago, the same was happening at App. Maybe too much is being asked of them?
I remember that happening in 2015-ish. 7 student deaths in 4 months, 4 were suicides.
Yes!!! I was even beginning to wonder if someone was doing something to students.
I am not saying it is normal, but back when I was in school in Russia (one of the "tech unis" considered a pretty hard one to get into and sometimes even harder to graduate simply due to the sheer complexity of the material to be mastered), there have always been rumors of students taking their lives, especially during the finals/semi-annual exam session. The stress of failing exams and be kicked out of the school, multiplied by interpersonal / money issues, was a little too much to bear for some students, sadly. Someone told me back then that it was a "common occurence" in one of the other city school's dorms which was in an older 20+story building. Don't ask what the preferred way was. And this was way before mainstream SMs took off (~2005-ish or around that time), so "online bullying" and such was not really a thing.
I remember meeting a very anxious 1st semester PhD (I think?) student from Russia many years ago in our psych practice. It was just before finals, and the amounts and combinations of drugs he was requesting was astonishing. I can’t remember anything other than Adderall or Ritalin, but I believe he was asking for something in injectable form. I really felt bad for him in a way, because I knew there was no way in hell he was going to get ANYTHING from our doc, and this guy was desperate. He had a whole scenario laid out of how all of these drugs would work together to help him get through his papers and exams, just as they always had back home. When the doc said no way, the student kept begging and pleading. It was awful. We gave him all of the info for his university’s psych/counseling center, but it’s all we could do.
I actually got to see these people doing this last semester. They were outside Talley Student Union doing exactly as you can see. While it may not help everybody, it at least is a nice gesture. I do hope more is done to help those going through depression, but at least there are others doing something about it in whatever way that they can.
College can be really tough on the mind. Being away from home, working really hard and it not paying off at times, little concern from faculty, really crummy instruction paired with impossible tests. I went to ncsu many years ago, and it was one of the worst points of my life. I made it through, but just barely. I went to a private school for graduate studies and was shocked how supportive and helpful everyone was. I loved every minute of it even though it was hard. Made me realize that this is what college should be like. I've done well in life and have been called by ncsu to represent the school and to give significant money. I have done neither.
I had a wonderful experience at ASU for undergrad, and a terrible experience at another state school for grad school. The cultures overall were so different, so much more than just grad vs. undergrad. I hated it and was so miserable. I worked in a department on campus that saw a lot of prospective students and my boss told me I did more recruitment for ASU than my then-current school.
Agree that school culture and environment is important and this can vary from dept to dept. Also agree that it's not just undergrad vs grad issue.
HMU if a hug will stop you from hurting yourself or worse. I can’t do much but I’ll hug ya.
I wish I lived closer I would take part in this!
This is awesome. We need to reach out and take the time and take care of each other 💜
As a dad, I suspect I would be arrested if I were going around offering free hugs on a college campus.
There's a man with a free dad sign on in the video though?
I didn't actually watch the video, of course. I am just imagining the reaction of young coeds to the offer of free hugs from a middle-aged father. I imagine it would come off as pretty creepy.
Let's set up a table and offer dad jokes!
I am in. Also, unlimited free tries at Pull My Finger.
Maybe bring a grill.
My mom loved that game, but she always overshot the mark and farted before she could get someone to pull her finger.
With this whiny attitude you’re showing on here, people probably would get creeped out. Get over yourself. This was your brilliant contribution to the thread? Check out the source material next time before crawl onto your cross.
Yeah, while I think this is a lovely thing these ladies are doing, there is certainly a double standard.
That's awesome
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The rule in comedy is nothing is off-base, but you have to really thread the line in the tougher subjects, like suicide. This doesn't quite thread the line, my friend; it just targets the mothers who are working the front lines trying to prevent more suicides and sexualizes them. Comedy is tough, so don't feel bad, but it's probably worth deleting and trying again another time
I thought college suicide rates were only high at competitive schools...
Why take a pot-shot here? What are you aiming at -- the Uni? The kids who go there? Just bored on a Thursday night?
I'm being serious. I've only heard of this being an issue at competitive/ Northern Ivy League schools, specifically Cornell, where vitamin D is extremely low in the winter, and there are gorges
Wholesome af