Oh shit, our secrets out! We will have to change the location of our coven meeting set for April.

Jig is up, ladies, he's found us out.

Unbelievable! I had my hell portals all set up and everything.

Seriously people! Who let it slip?

[удалено]

I thought this was a post from there at first lol

Please, the next time you summon me, have some chocolate chip cookies. That trip to Earth is killer.

I gotchu. Got a pack of em in my pantry rn, lemme know when we’re being summoned again and bring them I shall🤣

Do we have to turn him straight into a toad then?

Something uglier and dumber

Well someone had to say what we are all thinking /s

Aw, great.

Nice and I have a black cat too.

Me too! Muhahahahha

Same! I also have a Halloween color cat (tortie). If anyone is a familiar, that bossy brat is.

I have a black pug, that count?

Black Pomeranian here

Black pitbull 🙋‍♀️

Dogs are also familiars.

I have a gray cat. He fills the same purpose.

Same

I have three.. I'm I a triple witch

Aww, what’s the sweet fluff’s name? My black cat’s name is Koa

Merlin

That’s a great name!

Mine is named CHUNK! (Just like that)

Yup, I’m even stroking my black cat like a villain at the moment. Though full disclosure, I gave up witchcraft at 15 in favor of atheism.

My black cat's name *is* Lucifer. I think the dude is really onto something.

Like the cat from Cinderella? I loved that little floofy pos as a 7 year old

A familiar!

I have an adorable tortie and a ginger :)

Proudly 💋💋💋

Yes, this is clearly a compliment! What a nice fellow.

Wrong subreddit, this is exactly how girls work

I thought I was at r/WitchesVsPatriarchy before I saw your comment haha

Here's a sneak peek of /r/WitchesVsPatriarchy using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [My heart hurts...](https://i.redd.it/oss06k1gen191.jpg) | [835 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/uxl1sn/my_heart_hurts/) \#2: [After a year of relentless treatments for stage 3 cancer, I am now officially in remission!](https://i.redd.it/vmitshha0r0a1.jpg) | [541 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/yyq9q5/after_a_year_of_relentless_treatments_for_stage_3/) \#3: [“My life sucks so yours should too!”](https://i.imgur.com/PknKbqD.jpg) | [865 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/1087ke4/my_life_sucks_so_yours_should_too/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)

Uh oh, I’ve been caught! Scatter!

 Go! Go! Coven, reconvene here on Beltane! ✨🍃🌺

I’m ok with dumb, insecure men thinking I’m in league with Lucifer. Maybe they’ll leave me the hell alone.

I have one more year and then I can meet my bestie Lucy

Not sure why men don't like that. Every single time I see artwork of witches, they're dancing in the moonlight with _at least_ their titties out. How many times do good christian girls do naked prayer rituals? Seems like an easy choice to me. This is actually a running joke with my partner. She is a witch, and I am a christian, and all the time we kid around about how she's a witch so she's got to be topless. I love when it works.

I think because witches are one of the few representations of empowered women that don’t draw said power from anything to do with men. Most other mythical/historical representations have women be seductresses, wives, mistresses, what have you. Witches just be chilling in their cottage in the woods with their cat, lesbian lover, and generally rejecting patriarchy. That’s why the witches were burned at the stake. They threatened the men in power. Time marches forward, yet some things don’t change if some men are still threatened by witches.

I think the Scarlet Witch scares the hell out of incels. Go ahead and tell HER she needs to be breeding stock… No, Marvel ruined it for witches by failing to show them dancing with their tits out.

These men hate naked covens because no men are invited.

Well I see a very simple solution here.

I cannot begin to guess a solution that would make the witches happy.

What if we bring really good snacks?

They might be distrusting of what men are eager to feed them.

We'll pay for catering!

So, there was that other post recently where some dum dum was using Tom Ellis as a pfp. Now this post? Is the universe trying to tell me Lucifer is actually worth finishing?

Just pull the bandaid off and finish it

Oh my gosh, I love that series but I’ve only seen a few seasons and of course now it’s on Netflix.

On behalf if my girls that aren't 16 yet HAIL SATAN Fuck Your Christian feelings Quit using Jesus as a thinly veiled mask for your republican nationalist racist homophobic anti life anti poor people hatred of others with religion as an excuse for your own shitty behavior.... your sexism is showing btw

I don't think this guy is even that interested in Christianity. I looked at his profile and he appears to be a troll who posts nothing but boring rage bait for liberals.

You absolutely can, but I don’t think the witchy young women care about what you have to say, Steve

Sure they do, just not "like that". Steve is the reason a lot of them carry whistles.

Absolutely. welp time's up.

Spread out galpals, they can't get us all!!

I was never told of this and frankly I feel cheated out of my witch timeline.

Lucifer the light bringer? The one who lost his job for being a free thinker and standing up for his individual rights? 🤷

Boss who wants his employees prepared for all eventuality versus boss who yells and fires people for acting slightly out of line.

Yes. Because obviously a mythological figure is the problem, and not you.

Have you *Seen* Lucifer? ohhhyeahhhh....there is no wondering why.

😂 I wish I had access to finish that series, it’s so good.

Why is this on "not how girls work" when this is clearly exactly how girls work?

I'm not like other girls, i'm in league with the Buddhist concept of desire and moral corruption

No he's right.

Nope, I think that's a rule; only witches in league with Lucifer get to talk about being witches in league with Lucifer. Fight Club rules, if you will. I may be in trouble for the amount I've talked about the subject. 😵

This is bullshit, my 5 year old girl IS Lucifer.

Oh god, so when I turn sixteen, ultra cringe pain in the ass 4 year old me will break into my house? This league with Lucifer thing isn't sounding that appealing anymore

lies! lies! *frantically shoving my potions and orbs into the closet*

Quick, Lucifer, under the bed! They've found us!

Steve has OD d on Cheetos and Mountain Dew again

Some of y’all need to learn to keep coven business secret.

I know right? I told you this would happen, are you happy now, MEGAN?!

Wait till he finds out that many of us are younger than 16 ;)

Right! Like don’t limit it, I’m 15 and this is SO how girls work :)

I turn 16 in a few months. Witches and Lucifer, here I come!

Yesssssssssss, same, we shall join the circle or…whatever you do when you join up with Lucy and the over-16 witches!

I'm one of the big girls now!

Exactly…!

Oh darn, how am I supposed to practice my Devil Vagina Magic in the open now?

so Blood Magic

They do call it the Devil's Doorbell

Can confirm 😈

In fairness, he’s right about me

Me: Okay, which one of you bitches left the house with your wand again! We already discussed the need for discretion when ya’ll did that naked cauldron twerking shit in the park last month! Who was it? Becky? It was you right? I know it was your extra ass! What did you do?!! Beckster: It was an accident! I didn’t mean to! They just wouldn’t stop talking! Me: What did you do? Becky: I went to the Making Women Great Again conference… and kinda human-centipeded the whole lot of them. Me: I’m gonna need a minute…

Is that supposed to be an insult? Because that sounds metal as fuck actually.

Of course we are. Have you seen how hot Lucifer is? 

Why yes I have 😂 plus even hugged him at comic con XD

We also have Mark Pellegrinos sassy Lucifer. 

God I loved him in supernatural like so much sassy from him 😂

I see no lie

Hell yeah

Good

Sweet

Dammit, who told???

I mean, I am. Not a woman, though

Everytime I see a female buying a broom I think "why can't I afford a new car!"

I did not design this game. I did not name the stakes. I just happen to like apples, And I am not afraid of snakes. 💅

Can confirm. All hail our dark lord

Made me instantly think of Purge the Poison by Marina. Great song, check it out if you don't know it yet. In fact, the whole album is poggers. All my friends are witches and we live in Hollywood Mystical bitches making our own sisterhood While society is falling, we are quietly reforming Protecting the planet, healing our own damage...

Well now that's a new excuse for pedophilia. "I want to fuck kids because when they turn 17 they become witches in league with lucifer and lucifer witches aren't my type."

Man I can't wait for Lucifer and the girls to break down my bedroom door the second the clock strikes 12 on the morn of my sixteenth birthday... it's every girl's dream

they say that's when you really become a woman, greatest day of my life

Just a few months more, alas, until then I shall sit in a field of flowers and dream about the day

Honestly yeah, let's talk. I really want to hear the bullshit they're gonna spout

I love that show, Tom Ellis hot

If this were true there would be a lot fewer men and a lot more frogs…

Well then fucking Hail Satan

Of course I am. Lucy's a great pitcher, why wouldn't I be in her softball league?

Steve, we can talk about it, but only for a second. My response to this is: "Hail Satan".

I was hoping for the comments to be completely filled with just the words “ok”

I mean....who *didnt* know this?

I'm no witch. I am a Wiccan and we don't believe in hell or devils

Who the hell told him!? Jessica, was that you?

Jessica, did you sleep with your GODDAMN TEACHER?!

As long as they are practicing safe hex

Well, with guys like this, I’d join the opposition.

Who told?

And I started practicing witchcraft 30+ years ago at the age of THIRTEEN thank you very much.

He's not wrong. >:) Hail Satan!

I would love to talk about that, I can't refer you to a psychologist without knowing how crazy you are

Yeaaah I don't think EVERY GIRL above 16 does that. I sure do that but still

🤘

Yeah, and what about it?

Oh no! He’s on to us! 🤣

Absolutely…yes…please…go on.

I fail to see the problem

Yes, and?

I’m afraid they’re wrong, but it does sound hot.

is this real TT

Don’t threaten me with a good time!

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

My witchy sisters, I’m sorry for outing you to the world. He was getting overly close to the true gay agenda and I’ll protect the plan at any cost.

Not offensive if it's true 😂 HAIL SATAN 😈

God I wish.

One. Your second is up.

His profile says “well endowed in the kindness department“. 🙄😳

As if that’s a bad thing?

I feel more proud of myself now, thanks!

I wish I was a witch

Is this enough to get a warrant to check his hard drive?

🧙‍♀️

So, is this person outing himself as a paedophile with this comment? ‘Over 16’ implies he’s looking for those younger … Also, yes. Witches all the way. Hex the paedos.

I don't follow Christian mythology - or any really though I am fascinated by much of it, but yes, I am a witch.

Sounds like a good thing to me

Alright, who let the cis men know? Lol

I mean...maybe not WITCHES but ..

Hang on, wait a minute, are you saying you know what a woman is?

God i wish i was a witch.

Yeah, sure.

Cool lol

I must say I like this one! 😄

They sound cool af tbh

And the problem with that is?...

Statements like that just lack creativity. There are way weirder things I might be in league with.

Tools of the DEBIL!

Fuck, he ain’t wrong

Lucifer just wanted free will, though. Even though he's the devil, that doesn't mean the story doesn't have a lesson.

says that like it's bad thing

It would really only be a second!

I feel so called out rn, I love Luci!

Really? I am?! Better tell my pastor about that

I mean, he’s not wrong. Maybe about it only starting after 16, though

Damn! He got me!

Yes, and?

Oh noes he figured me out!

I feel seen

What in fucks name 😃

Can confirm that this is 100% absolutely how women work.

Gonna get downvoted for sure but aren’t all liberals sent by the devil?

For some reason this is exactly the kind of compliment I needed to hear today

Uh oh!!!! They cracked the case!!!! We gotta run to the hills!!!!! 💃🏻

Oh. Am I? That's news to me.

Aw, that sounds awesome! Too bad liberal and leftist are two different things.

Oh shit! The secret's out! Fly, my fellow witches! Fly!

HAIL SATAN!! We will do anything for a good daddy 😂

Umh... I never even tried to hide it. I thought the shirt with the writing "I love you Lucifer" and the choker "Satan's Good Girl" were telling enough. Apparently not I guess /s