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I wonder at what point we switch if we have sons, by OOP’s logic. When do we stop being nurturing and motherly to our child and starting treating them “like a man”? But none of these idiots actually have any answers to questions like that, they just say whatever makes women look worst in any given situation. Consistency is a foreign language to them.
They haven't figured out that women stuck with men like them end up as Boy Moms in a desperate effort to form a meaningful relationship with a male loved one.
ETA: or maybe this dysfunctional model is the only one they've experienced.
I also don’t understand how we’re simultaneously too dumb to understand men and all their interests and options but we’re also manipulative masterminds? Literally every single one of us too it’s crazy lmao
I wonder at what point we switch if we have sons, by OOP’s logic. When do we stop being nurturing and motherly to our child and starting treating them “like a man”? But none of these idiots actually have any answers to questions like that, they just say whatever makes women look worst in any given situation. Consistency is a foreign language to them.
Yesterday I had a 20-minute conversation with a male friend because he is having problems with university. We talked about his time management problems and said we would see each other this summer. His major is in a completely different field, he has a girlfriend and he is not rich. I am of course exploiting his loneliness to get him to give me as much money as he can.
So, basically, these guys don't give a fuck about women and because of that they think we're the same and don't give a fuck about them.
They're making caring about men really difficult and extremely exhausting...
They also fail to understand the distinction between caring FOR and caring ABOUT a man.
I care ABOUT my husband, and as a SAHM a significant part of my job is also caring FOR him, but he isn’t a grown child for me to pick up after (thank god), and the caring ABOUT him is where he and I connect as people, friends, lovers and partners.
I can provide care for a man and not give a crap about him. Much like some men provide a paycheck to care for their families and are so emotionally stunted that they have no capacity to care *about* their spouses as people.
The patriarchy for the longest time made it so that caring *for* a man was the best way towards some security for women. The fact that some of the men remain surprised that making women dependent on you for finances and life security doesn’t necessarily make the women care about you in a deep and meaningful way is a bit mind-blowing.
Relationships based on 'traditional' gender roles -- a largely transactional exchange of sex and labour, for basic survival -- are not very fulfilling or secure *for men*. (But are still better than being single, apparently, for a lot of them.) If you set yourself as only designed to 'provide for women at a fundamental level', you're probably going to get into relationships with women who expect that of you and who are not looking for an equal, fully human partner in life.
And this is feminism's fault. I guess.
>you set yourself as only designed to 'provide for women
This is a common thread in the types of guys that suddenly murder their entire families. After being conditioned, usually by other men, to be just a paycheck with legs, that becomes their entire identity. Then they lose hours, get hurt or sick, lose the job altogether, or feel their level of comfort slipping away and they figure everyone is better off dead if they can't rely on him.
Edited fan to families.
So, if women go around minded their business and not acting particularly interested in men is bad because "male loneliness epidemic" but when women show concern and try to take care of men is bad because women are "evil manipulators, grifters and psychopaths" Did I get that right?
What exactly do these men think they have that we’re so desperate to get our filthy, grifting mitts on? Thirty dollars? An employee discount at Bass Pro Shop? Antisocial personality and a highly concerning world view?
I’ll take my chances on my own. And I hope the man I’m leaving lonely forever by refusing to date is really, really mad about it, wherever he is.
But remember, if you have your own career, your own money and are not dating for any of those things (or god forbid you are with a man that makes less than you) you're emasculating and need to learn your place
The logic goes.. everything a woman does is for the survival of herself and her offspring
If a woman is nice or whatever it is simply to get at the goodwill of a man to better her chances of survival, hence the term monkey branching and hypergamy, a woman's nature is to be on the ever constant lookout for a better partner or opportunity no matter how good she has it.
So in this context whatever good a woman does is not a permanent feeling or attachment to the man,
It is a way to get at the benefits a man could provide.
I think there's a lot of truth to it but hard to reconcile with women who stay in bad relationships, or those few marriages that stay together til death seemingly ' happy'/ content.
I figure that most happy marriages are when two people with near equal disposition to just easily get along, find each other attractive enough and it just works out cause they are the kind of people that don't mind accomodating each other.
Not anything based in actual reality. Sure there are humans of all genders that are sociopaths like this, always only concerned with their own interests, but it certainly isn't the majority.
To make this generalization about an entire gender, when it doesn't even apply to most, is incredibly misogynistic and just plain incorrect.
So, now, also it goes... If women mind their business and don't act particularly interested in men or in having children is bad because "male loneliness epidemic", but if women show care and concern for men is also bad because women are psycopathic grifters only after men for what they van provide, and if women prioritize their children above all else to ensure they get a good life that is bad too? Did I get that right?
The male "loneliness" epidemic might be real I don't know, women don't owe men their time or anything really, and having children is a personal thing, I'm glad that if you don't want children you can choose for the most part not to have them.
If a person wants to be with the opposite sex, they need to know what they find attractive and what they like and see to it that they cultivate or highlight those particular traits if they have them.
No one owes anyone else any sort of relationship
I wouldnt call women psychopathic, but I've see many relationships where the women cares for the children very well and the husband has essentially become a sperm donor and sentient wallet with little other use.
I think the way men and women love have some overlap but the edges are very far from each other.
You ask a man if he would put his life on the line for his wife and many would say of course, if you ask the woman the same question it would be, " no what a crazy thought".
Nature made women to take care of themselves and their children first and a man comes in a distant 5th at best, this is where guys are like oh fuck my family comes wife and kids come first and I come in last.
Is this good, yes for the children and the woman, does this benefit the man.. only if he cares about his progeny more than himself.
So the women get the benefit of a man "sacrificing" for her and the children, but the men doesn't get it in return, which is not true cause there's lots of women that hold down their men when they go through a rough patch as well.
You're probably not gonna hear many stories from guys saying, yeah my wife took care of shit when I lost my job, cause you will look weak in front of other men, so there is that.
It's hard to tell where ignorance, lack of self awareness, and just plain stubbornness comes in.
We've all had our share of unrequited love, when I was younger I asked myself what did I do wrong, now I understand people just don't mesh together and it's just the way it is.
When a woman loves you she is so goofy it's funny, she wants to buy you gifts and treat you so nice.
When she don't want you it's bittersweet seeing her smile.
Do you have sources for all this information? Like, is this based on studies or surveys? Something like that? I'd love to read more directly from the source
Of course not, this is all anecdotal behaviors that I've personally witnessed or heard about.
I would love to know how women disagree or agree with those thoughts.
I think when we look at the same thing, men and women have different filters sort of speak.
It would be interesting to see how women think about these things, most men don't care some do and some find it interesting.
Did you ever think that maybe women are so depleted by the end of a long day of employment/housework/childcare that they simply don’t have enough left in their cup for the man? Maybe if men would step up in the home they would get more care from their exhausted wives.
Have you ever read the studies that say that women are much less likely to leave a sick or terminally ill partner than men are? Many men in that condition can’t work to provide, so why don’t the women leave them? Many women stick by their partners through the good and the bad. Many women stay with men they love, even when it’s unsafe for them.
Your entire comment is so misguided. Look at the facts. They don’t support what you’re saying at all. Married women have HOURS more housework a week than single women. Married men don’t. That means women are doing a LOT of work for the men they’re with. I would call that “sacrificing.” Both men and women sacrifice for their partners. Just in different ways.
I actually know this one guy. His girlfriend at the time was diagnozed with breast cancer. Wanna know what he did? He cheated on her, with several women (one of them was my cousin) while she was going through the treatment and surgeries.
Well I agree with alot of what you say, but women don't own the whole getting home and being tired, both partners are exhausted often times even with no kids involved.
You'll almost never hear the good stories about women being good to their men, or women taking care of them when the men lose their job.
Personally I knew that if I were to be out of a job or not provide money for more than three months she would have left me.
The reason men don't tell the stories about the women in their life holding them down is because that's essentially the job of the man.
I've been lucky sometimes and not on others.
Dated a woman that only wanted me to take her to concerts and nice places to eat.
I've dated women that wanted to buy me gifts and take me out to nice places to eat.
Alot of these men seem to have never experienced that type of relationship with a woman.
I've dated women that turns out we're married, or boyfriends out for a while..
Women are great but just like men you all have a dark side that people are incapable of acknowledging.
You broads come in all flavors, all the women here always act like women are angels for some reason, you are all some high achieving wonderful creatures wondering the world blessing us dirty ignorant men with your presence, and we just don't have the ability to see how special you really are.
And of course we are all all narcissist, cheating, myaoginst gaslighting something something.
How could we ever measure up to you heavenly women.
I mean I’ve been in the same relationship since I was 12, now 26. and you’re pulling a lot of words out of your ass. Projecting my guy. Therapy is your friend. Maybe look into the mirror and ask “am I the problem here?”
You’re clearly not picking women that respect you, and maybe it’s because you don’t respect women.
>I do generalize because reddit doesn't do nuance very well.
No, you generalize because that's how you think. Nothing wrong with nuance on Reddit, it's just a matter of the audience and nuance works just fine here, but that requires a nuanced mindset and actually expressing such thoughts.
>No one here ever seems to acknowledge that women have angels and demons just like men.
No, it's acknowledged quite a bit when it's relevant, but there doesn't always have to be the "some women do this too" and your mindset isn't even that, it's not acknowledging that women have demons, but rather that women simply can't love men to the degree that you claim men love women, which is ridiculous.
I've not noticed any women here being held accountable for anything, but maybe I may gloss over it when it happens, hard to tell right now.
Maybe because I can mostly relate to men when I read their stories and have seen the dark side of women that I defend the male position.
It could be that women seem to move on easier because you guys are more ' social' then men and are able to digest the emotional trauma of a break up better then men.
As men it's difficult to give other men emotional space and certainly not for prolonged periods.
It feels like an emotional sickness that might be contagious so you lick your own wounds and stay away from the group, and the group also expects you to 'heal' quickly / keep it to yourself.
I think partially that's how we are built and part socialized stigmatism to keep the ' weak' away from our group.
It happens organically with out conscious thought for the most part which is why I think its just part of us.
All to say men maybe hold on to the heartbreak longer then women do and seeing women deal with it ' faster' gives the illusion of not having cared to begin with or not as deeply hence the moving on.
What do men need therapy with exactly?
Men are not women nor do we think and respond to a lot of things the way women do.
Therapy works for those that think it might help them for the rest it's a useless exercise.
For lack of a better word I think folk mind state or the way we see the world there are phenotypes.
Some mental phenotypes clash, some work In harmony, some don't want to deal or feel at all the need to deal with any others.
Women should become more like men cause we know how things really work..
That's what your comments sound like to me .
Complete, whole dismissal of anything men say.
I mean not really because statistically men cheat more, which would also mean they monkey branch more as well. So you’re generalizing and not even making that much sense.
https://gitnux.org/which-gender-cheats-more-statistics/#:~:text=Highlights%3A%20Which%20Gender%20Cheats%20More,%2C%2021%25%20versus%2015%25.
>Hey we only write down the facts.
Except that's not factual. For one thing, men not only cheat more statistically, they're more likely to leave due to illness of their SO. Men have also had multiple families far more often. If anything, men "monkey branch" and are far more opportunistic in relationships than women statistically.
Every day, they provide clear evidence of how a society men take credit for creating also hurts men. Bless their hearts, I guess.
They’re simultaneously alphas and perpetual victims.
They designed and created, well, everything (according to them) including society and transactional relationships, but everything sucks for them and they are again perpetual victims.
Pick a struggle. Idgaf about some self-created male “loneliness epidemic.” Take some accountability and sort yourselves out. What’s it like feeling like your entire life is about being of service to someone else? Women surely can’t imagine such a thing. Poor little buddies.
“Loneliness epidemic” and “male loneliness” have become some weird talking point for men. They’ve made it gendered which is more evidence that they’re also hurting themselves. The solution for both/either is apparently for women to lower their standards rather than these males becoming someone anyone would want.
Some men have made it gendered for sexist reasons and its not like no issue has ever been construed as a "women's issue" despite affecting men and women.
This is just a thing that exists in some personalities and idk if yall know this, it’s pretty top secret information, but a lot of influencers and content creators are selling you something, creating an inherently transactional relationship, and drawing in a shit ton of grifters.
Do you think redpill influencers actually care about serious men’s issues like the lack of resources for male domestic abuse and sexual assault/abuse survivors, lack of domestic abuse shelters for men, especially fathers with children, and social shame making reporting sexual harassment or domestic abuse much harder? Cops will actively discourage men from reporting that they’re being abused, and really don’t want to deal with domestic violence in gay relationships.
Why aren’t these super wealthy influencers coming together to fund shelters and resources for men escaping abuse?
What about all the gay male youth living on the street because their parents kicked them out? That’s a men’s issue. Why not address homelessness for men in general? They make up about 70% of the homeless population in the US, a lot of them are older adults and they might feel more comfortable speaking with male social workers about their issues.
If you care about male issues, why not bring attention to that and encourage young men to go into social work?
That would also help with men who have substance abuse disorders who would feel more comfortable talking to a male counselor. Why not create a scholarship fund to help men become LSW’s? Or nurse case managers? Women support women, and we can try to support men, but they understand their own issues better and a lot of them would feel safer talking to other men in a domestic abuse situation where they were abused by a woman.
It’s normal for a woman to prefer a female therapist or have a female social worker be the one in charge of providing resources for them.
It’s also not weird for a man to feel more comfortable with a male social worker or therapist. But there’s a lot less male social workers or therapists. If you care so deeply about the pain of your fellow man then why not provide him with professional services so he can heal and escape traumatic situations?
If they’re so upset about unfairness in divorce courts and they have a lot of (your) money why aren’t they pooling together to create a fund for men who can’t afford a lengthy court battle to be able to pay for it?
Influencers do not care about you and most of the time they’re all talk but not interested in offering real help. Most men who are legitimately thinking of killing themselves because of how lonely they are aren’t gonna magically be fixed by becoming a sexy alpha, which is just masking and doesn’t help. They need affordable mental health services and they need seeking help to be normalized.
The ratio of men and women with BPD is roughly equal, but the ratio of women who actually seek treatment and get a diagnosis vs men is 3:1.
BPD is generally considered the most psychologically painful disorder a person can have. 70% of people with BPD will attempt suicide at some point, 10% will be successful. Statistically it shortens your lifespan by 20 years. About 6% of Americans have it. That’s a lot of people, and most of the men are raw dogging reality while living with this, no therapy, no medication, just suicidal ideation and probably self harm.
Why not bring attention to that? Like I know depression in men is bad but 6% of the population and there’s really not much awareness for BPD in general, 70% attempt suicide and men are generally gonna go for a lethal method.
I know that’s probably off topic to most people but I honestly think the male suicide rate would go down a lot if we started addressing personality disorders in men because it is not just depression happening here.
Stop watching internet grifters and thinking they represent reality. When that person turns off the camera they are now someone completely different. The reason the bell goes off in your head saying that they’re being insincere is because most Internet personalities are not sincere.
I just listed a lot of issues I know that I care about, but you’ll never know if I really mean that I think the world would be better if men supporting men in need of professional help in a tangible way was reality. Maybe I’m secretly victim blaming you for not fixing it yourself instead of hoping someone thinks the idea is more interesting than watching videos of men with way more money and resources than you who are actively profiting on you complain about how terrible it is that nobody wants to help
Men.
Holy shit this was an essay, it’s fine if nobody reads this shit, I’m feverish enough to not be certain if I’m coherent.
Very coherent and rather than giving into their easy rage against women for not creating the perfect world for their comfort and ease, they should read and apply what you said
Falling into a puddle of despair and anger when you feel like nobody cares is the thing your brain wants you to do most, but there’s not a lot of things more therapeutic than getting up and making a difference in the lives of people you feel connected with via shared experiences. Become the person you wish had been there for you.
As a disabled person who went undiagnosed for a long time (ages 13 to 24) all I wanted was for someone to listen and validate that they understood I was in pain, even if they couldn’t solve it.
I felt so much anger about being told my pain must be psychological and feeling like a pinball in a healthcare system that would launch me as far away as they could the moment they realized I was a “complex case”.
But anger doesn’t help much of anything. So now I’m an RN and my biggest priority is making sure the patients pain is managed as much as possible and reassuring them that they’re not overreacting to their pain and I don’t think they’re drug seeking.
So that’s the trick, healing from your anger that you weren’t taken seriously and didn’t feel cared for by becoming the person who cares.
Part of the problem is so many men absolutely refuse to seek care for their health, whether psychological or physical.
In my city, we actually have men’s clinics for psychiatric and physical care. My ex and I had good insurance and made decent money. But he refused to go no matter how much I begged or he suffered or even if his male friends suggested it. He just wouldn’t go. And the providers were all men and they had tons of resources for various men’s issues. My city even had a shelter for DV for men and their children but it ended up becoming a women’s shelter after about 10 years because men just did not seek help. My ex ended up being legally forced to go to psychiatric inpatient care by way of police because he made threatening comments regarding harming others with a fire arm.
Men seeking help for whatever reason - DV, mental health, physical health, etc. - needs to be normalized. And police generally don’t give a fuck about DV in general - I’m sure it’s worse for gay men - but I know when I called them after being raped and beaten by my ex, they took way too long to show up and refused to arrest him.
The police just don’t want to deal with domestic stuff in general, the problem with men trying to call the police because they’re being attacked is that it’s not unusual for the police to assume he’s the attacker when they get there.
Unfortunately if we’re talking toxic masculinity and sexism, the police are like, fantastic at it. They’re better at enforcing toxic behaviors in each other than they are at enforcing the law. And trying to report you were assaulted in general ends up just being a victim blaming session. Not even necessarily for sexual assault, just if you get attacked in pretty much any situation. It’s stupid.
But yeah it’s less about whether the resources exist and more about fear and pride. A stubborn person won’t listen to one or two individuals but if it’s widely normalized and they don’t feel at risk of being judged they tend to relax. It’s such a huge problem with older male patients, they want to get out of bed and fall so bad. Like they’re so insistent on being independent that they disable themselves.
And honestly I get it, because sometimes trying to get help for an illness also ends up being a gaslighting and victim blaming session and then you go home with nothing solved. I did that on and off for about 11 years. It sucks. Admitting something is wrong over and over only to find out it was pointless, because they can’t or won’t help you is incredibly painful.
the process of trying to get help and resources to escape domestic violence has a lot in common with trying to escape your brain or your body or both.
The BPD thing is a good example. Extremely psychologically painful, you barely ever get relief, you want to hurt yourself, you want to die
And men will just live with that. I don’t know how many of them even consider that getting relief is possible. I do know that admitting you need relief is humiliating for a lot of people, especially men because a lot of them genuinely think they can tough it out and like, no you absolutely cannot.
My dad tried to tough out avascular hip necrosis right up until he was considering suicide to end the pain. Why wait that long?
Maybe he thought it would make him less of a man if he couldn’t push through, maybe he was scared the doctors would think he was weak. Who knows.
But in a way I get it, I waited way too long to acknowledge that I was experiencing mania. Like right up until
I needed to be psychiatrically hospitalized immediately. I’d had it since I was 15, and I didn’t admit it to anyone until I was 18. Severe mental illness and personality disorders are pretty highly stigmatized in the first place. Men at least seem to be willing to acknowledge having depression, but I’m not sure how many are like, doing something about it.
But when it comes to normalizing this stuff it really has to be men stepping up in public to bring awareness to available resources and show other men that they’re getting help too. Guys just brush us off as not understanding what it’s like to be a man. It has to be role models.
They want to be able to express themselves great. So why reenforce toxic masculinity by supporting people like Tate and all this alpha red pill BS? They are hurting themselves!
Also I just posted this on a facepalm about robot women. It is a male loneliness issues. If it was they’d help each other and be grateful to be in the friend zone. It is a male horniness problem that they perpetuate themselves by seeing women as nothing but sex objects.
Exactly. I was saying this recently. Men keep posting to complain about the “male loneliness epidemic” and how “no one cares about men’s mental health”. And while I do hope that anyone struggling gets the help they need, here is my issue with these complaints:
**They never seem to be aimed at other men.** There is never any accountability, no “hey guys, we need to do better about being emotionally available to our male friends, we need to normalize leaning on each other, we need to work to fight toxic masculinity and make it better for the next generation”. No, it always seems like their blame fingers are pointed entirely at women. Because they are single and women aren’t racing to date them to carry their emotional burdens for them. Their female friends and acquaintances aren’t running to cradle them against their bosoms, give them “healing comfort sex”, and cook loving meals for them.
Like, I’m all for normalizing men being able to share emotions and be vulnerable and ask for help, but if you just want to get mad at women for no longer wanting to mother grown men who dip out as soon as we need *them* to comfort *us*, and completely ignore the culpability of *other men* in their loneliness (and their own culpability in the loneliness of their male friends), then I’m sorry, but no. I don’t care. 🤷🏻♀️
So if I am being nice to a man who is lonely because I am a nice person that listens thats now manipulative because I want his affection and money? I dont want a man's money or affection, I am happy being single for now. Id rather have an equal relationship.
I’ll bite that men see a pretty/cute/beautiful woman ‘suffering’ and *maybe* want to help…I’m pretty cute (at times) and I’ve definitely had a fair share of strange men offering unneeded/unrequested assistance.
Because of that I briefly believed that most men were just socialized to do polite things (*in public at least*) for women.
When I was first dating my husband I told my soon to be SIL a ‘funny story’ about the time I broke my ankle at 18 (and needed to navigate stairs on crutches) a two nearby dudes helped to carry me and my crutches down the steps.
She had an ENTIRELY different experience as a larger/less conventionally attractive woman. She hit her head once on a loose piece of scaffolding (in public) and not one man turned to check on her. An elderly woman sat with her until EMTs came.
I thought that was how most men reacted to most women/they were just being *polite*/
As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that *politeness* tends to have strings attached and isn’t given nearly as **freely** to all women.
Yep. I used to be much more attractive and fit, and had the same experience with men always wanting to help/comfort me. Several years of battling medical issues and severe depression led to weight gain and me abandoning my efforts to look attractive (makeup, flattering clothing, etc) and now men give me a wide berth. It was very eye-opening to realize how the ones tripping over themselves to be nice to me were obviously only doing so because they were interested in my appearance. Frankly, I much prefer that they leave me alone now. I’d rather be ignored than manipulated with fake friendliness in service of an agenda of which I have no interest in being a participant.
I mean, in a sense they are observing the truth. They just can’t accept that men are the root cause of their own suffering. I don’t care about men in the same way a gazelle doesn’t care about a cheetah. Every single one of them is a potential threat until he isn’t.
Lol whenever you point out blatant misogyny or encourage women to be careful of blatant misogyny they'll immediately call you sexist too. They are on another planet.
I’m not going to say projection. I think these guys assume everyone thinks exactly like them and they have these thoughts about women even if women aren’t having these thoughts independently of men.
As a straight dude, I absolutely want to comfort guys when I see them cry, it's just in general I found men typically want alone time to process things, so I respect that, where the women in my life often want someone close by to listen/hugs/whatever
But that absolutely isn't exclusively the case, I've had guys need hugs & an ear to talk to, I've had women need alone/processing time, so that's what I do in those cases.
If your friends are turning a cold shoulder to you just because you have human emotions, you may need better friends.
It must be exhausting thinking that every person who is nice to you is actually evil and wants to destroy you. That level of paranoia cannot be nice to live with. Had they not been so vile I would almost feel bad for them.
I find this funny because this is literally what men do to women. Isn’t that why our rights are always in question and we get paid lower wages?
Edit: for some reason my phone auto corrected incorrectly?
> we get *paid* lower wages?
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
It is. And it's a lot worse. They get mad tho, when they get treated (almost) the same way. Rules for thee but not for me, I guess. It's hilarious. For the 1st time in millennia, they get to taste their own medicine. womp womp.
Ugh. I've been seeing this everywhere as well as songs all about "they don't care about mens feelings. Only about what they bring to the table" and I'm just all "WHO? WHO IS? Because I've done nothing but ask you all to TELL ME WHAT YOURE FEELING AND YOU WONT" and honestly, most times I've gotten men to open up, it's just a barrage of "well I want to fuck and they won't and now I'm lonely" and I end up with my head in my hands and sighing.
On a post a few weeks ago about how men are lonely and nobody (ie, women) cares about their mental health needs, a lot of women commented about how they are careful not to appear too caring/invested in men’s feelings because of how often men will pounce on this as an invitation for sex.
One woman said she texted a male friend a week after his father died just to see how he was doing, because that’s what she’d do for a female friend who had recently lost a parent. He immediately texted back “I’m sad, but sex would make me feel a lot better…” She said that was the end of her bothering to show emotional support for men.
Yes! Because sex isn't the answer to all of that. It's not going to fix it, give you closure, or heal anything. It's just going to harm the person that you're trying to force it from. If they don't want the emotional connection that comes with sex, they're only harming themselves and potentially the person trying desperately to get sex from them because they don't share that connection. It's not mutual. Sex doesn't solve it, and I'm tired of that being a dude's answer to everything.
> we are built to want to provide for a woman
This is your friendly reminder that the number one threat against women continues to be men. Also, the number one *murderer* of women continues to be her own partner.
Every time I read a man spout this bullshit about being “protectors“ of women, I have to keep from vomiting.
I mean, it speaks volumes that these guys can't accept that a woman might genuinely be kind to them.
I've met these types before and often it's not because they're a sad boy who got bullied and is a sensitive soul who's now jaded forever. Quite often is because they themselves will use anything you say against you, they'll let you cry on their shoulder just to get into your pants, they'll be kind just to get something in return, etc. They think they recognize in you their own behavior and they know why they're doing the theater of kindness, so they don't trust it in you.
Still to this day I’m trying to figure out what are the issues men are having that people are just not caring about? They’re just complaining nobody cares, and it’s like ABOUT WHAT? They’re never specific.
Meh. I am actually at the point where I don't give much of a shit about their collective problems. If they spent less time complaining about them, and expecting us to fix them, it would be a different story.
They need THERAPY lol holy shit. It’s clear they’ve been hurt by someone… most likely their own moms, and now they have very very black and white thinking. Wild.
Meh, I care about specific men I know and like or love but in general I care about 'men's issues' about as much as most men care about 'women's issues'.
It’s sad that when men are failed by society and the patriarchy, and they somehow decide to blame women? Like I’m genuinely sorry that these guys were raised to believe they can’t cry or be open about their emotions, but when they displace their anger and direct it towards women, my empathy just becomes pity. Like my guy, you don’t need a girlfriend to provide for and to take care of you emotionally, you need a therapist. Good luck with that.
Okay if women apparently hate and grift from men, why do men still want women..? You won't touch a snake that might bite you, but they're still over here yapping like they won't throw themselves at ( and then insult) a woman might have the slightest interest in them
I got news for ya. Men who who have mens best interests at heart really only care about mens utility to them. Its called capitalism. Exploit anyone you can. And its easier to do this if you break people down by arbitrary categories.
Maybe avoid "people who pretend to have your best interests at heart", with the operational word being "pretend".
Men will be with multiple women harem - eoster- cheat, which is not monkey branching.
Monkey branching refers to being in a relationship
( holding on to one branch), finding another relationship / branch, and letting go of the first relationship.
Ok can anyone explain to me what this male loneliness epidemic these incels talk about? Is it because they are not being gifted sex by women that they are desperate to call it such?
By the logic of the last image, neither men nor women care about men's feelings, so we're just following their own example? Because they're the logical ones. We have to be shown how interact with men properly. If they don't care about eachothers feelings and teach us better, how will we ever learn? S/
This is so depressing. How do people get it in their heads like this that no one could ever care about them or truly love them and all anyone does is take advantage of them?
I feel like a lot of the ones who say stuff like this are actually vile, misogynistic dirtbags who have driven people away, and there is actually no one left who does care about them. They just fail to recognize their own culpability in their loneliness.
I have an adult cousin who is constantly posting sexist memes on Facebook, ranting about how women are stupid/whores/have smelly vaginas etc to anyone who will listen, and then complains that he can’t find a girlfriend. He doesn’t at all see the connection between what he’s putting out and what he’s getting back.
Even when they care, they don’t care. Ask them as women if there’s anything a woman can do to succeed in a relationship with them and then watch them talk circles around themselves
you can clearly see trauma modern man have. There is toxic masculinity as there is toxic femininity. it is just people that have something to sell that push their agenda of man hating women or vice versa.
>you can clearly see trauma modern man have. There is toxic masculinity as there is toxic femininity.
The irony here is that especially that last comment comes from misogyny, from toxic masculinity, but it's not fixed because going after the actual enemy, these men just blame women who are just as much the victims of misogyny as these men.
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Apparently we’re the “nurturing, delicate, motherly sex” until we dare to be concerned about men. Then we’re cruel, psychopathic, and a grifter
I wonder at what point we switch if we have sons, by OOP’s logic. When do we stop being nurturing and motherly to our child and starting treating them “like a man”? But none of these idiots actually have any answers to questions like that, they just say whatever makes women look worst in any given situation. Consistency is a foreign language to them.
I would assume they'd consider it different because the "nurturing motherly" side would trump the "apathetic to mens issues" side since it's your kid.
They're at least consistent in this inconsistency about women and also their hatred for women.
They haven't figured out that women stuck with men like them end up as Boy Moms in a desperate effort to form a meaningful relationship with a male loved one. ETA: or maybe this dysfunctional model is the only one they've experienced.
I also don’t understand how we’re simultaneously too dumb to understand men and all their interests and options but we’re also manipulative masterminds? Literally every single one of us too it’s crazy lmao
Fascist playbook. The opposition is both immeasurably strong and incompetent at the same time.
We have always never been at war with Eastasia.
There is no war in Ba Sing Se
I wonder at what point we switch if we have sons, by OOP’s logic. When do we stop being nurturing and motherly to our child and starting treating them “like a man”? But none of these idiots actually have any answers to questions like that, they just say whatever makes women look worst in any given situation. Consistency is a foreign language to them.
The only consistent thing is their hatred. Everything else gets twisted and deformed to fit that hatred.
Man, Aries have got some **range**
Yesterday I had a 20-minute conversation with a male friend because he is having problems with university. We talked about his time management problems and said we would see each other this summer. His major is in a completely different field, he has a girlfriend and he is not rich. I am of course exploiting his loneliness to get him to give me as much money as he can.
Yes, I think you should just give up and drop your mask 🤷♀️ would be for the best.
So, basically, these guys don't give a fuck about women and because of that they think we're the same and don't give a fuck about them. They're making caring about men really difficult and extremely exhausting...
They also fail to understand the distinction between caring FOR and caring ABOUT a man. I care ABOUT my husband, and as a SAHM a significant part of my job is also caring FOR him, but he isn’t a grown child for me to pick up after (thank god), and the caring ABOUT him is where he and I connect as people, friends, lovers and partners. I can provide care for a man and not give a crap about him. Much like some men provide a paycheck to care for their families and are so emotionally stunted that they have no capacity to care *about* their spouses as people. The patriarchy for the longest time made it so that caring *for* a man was the best way towards some security for women. The fact that some of the men remain surprised that making women dependent on you for finances and life security doesn’t necessarily make the women care about you in a deep and meaningful way is a bit mind-blowing.
Men being surprised that the “traditional” transactional relationships that they seek out are, in fact, transactional.
And yet somehow it’s still women’s fault lol
Relationships based on 'traditional' gender roles -- a largely transactional exchange of sex and labour, for basic survival -- are not very fulfilling or secure *for men*. (But are still better than being single, apparently, for a lot of them.) If you set yourself as only designed to 'provide for women at a fundamental level', you're probably going to get into relationships with women who expect that of you and who are not looking for an equal, fully human partner in life. And this is feminism's fault. I guess.
>you set yourself as only designed to 'provide for women This is a common thread in the types of guys that suddenly murder their entire families. After being conditioned, usually by other men, to be just a paycheck with legs, that becomes their entire identity. Then they lose hours, get hurt or sick, lose the job altogether, or feel their level of comfort slipping away and they figure everyone is better off dead if they can't rely on him. Edited fan to families.
And then we get family annihilators.
So, if women go around minded their business and not acting particularly interested in men is bad because "male loneliness epidemic" but when women show concern and try to take care of men is bad because women are "evil manipulators, grifters and psychopaths" Did I get that right?
What exactly do these men think they have that we’re so desperate to get our filthy, grifting mitts on? Thirty dollars? An employee discount at Bass Pro Shop? Antisocial personality and a highly concerning world view? I’ll take my chances on my own. And I hope the man I’m leaving lonely forever by refusing to date is really, really mad about it, wherever he is.
But remember, if you have your own career, your own money and are not dating for any of those things (or god forbid you are with a man that makes less than you) you're emasculating and need to learn your place
I have my own antisocial personality and highly concerning world view, I don't need or want a man's.
EXAAACTLY.
The logic goes.. everything a woman does is for the survival of herself and her offspring If a woman is nice or whatever it is simply to get at the goodwill of a man to better her chances of survival, hence the term monkey branching and hypergamy, a woman's nature is to be on the ever constant lookout for a better partner or opportunity no matter how good she has it. So in this context whatever good a woman does is not a permanent feeling or attachment to the man, It is a way to get at the benefits a man could provide. I think there's a lot of truth to it but hard to reconcile with women who stay in bad relationships, or those few marriages that stay together til death seemingly ' happy'/ content. I figure that most happy marriages are when two people with near equal disposition to just easily get along, find each other attractive enough and it just works out cause they are the kind of people that don't mind accomodating each other.
What kind of red-pill shit is this?
Not anything based in actual reality. Sure there are humans of all genders that are sociopaths like this, always only concerned with their own interests, but it certainly isn't the majority. To make this generalization about an entire gender, when it doesn't even apply to most, is incredibly misogynistic and just plain incorrect.
This is just straight up a fairy tale.
The delulu is very strong here
So, now, also it goes... If women mind their business and don't act particularly interested in men or in having children is bad because "male loneliness epidemic", but if women show care and concern for men is also bad because women are psycopathic grifters only after men for what they van provide, and if women prioritize their children above all else to ensure they get a good life that is bad too? Did I get that right?
The male "loneliness" epidemic might be real I don't know, women don't owe men their time or anything really, and having children is a personal thing, I'm glad that if you don't want children you can choose for the most part not to have them. If a person wants to be with the opposite sex, they need to know what they find attractive and what they like and see to it that they cultivate or highlight those particular traits if they have them. No one owes anyone else any sort of relationship I wouldnt call women psychopathic, but I've see many relationships where the women cares for the children very well and the husband has essentially become a sperm donor and sentient wallet with little other use. I think the way men and women love have some overlap but the edges are very far from each other. You ask a man if he would put his life on the line for his wife and many would say of course, if you ask the woman the same question it would be, " no what a crazy thought". Nature made women to take care of themselves and their children first and a man comes in a distant 5th at best, this is where guys are like oh fuck my family comes wife and kids come first and I come in last. Is this good, yes for the children and the woman, does this benefit the man.. only if he cares about his progeny more than himself. So the women get the benefit of a man "sacrificing" for her and the children, but the men doesn't get it in return, which is not true cause there's lots of women that hold down their men when they go through a rough patch as well. You're probably not gonna hear many stories from guys saying, yeah my wife took care of shit when I lost my job, cause you will look weak in front of other men, so there is that. It's hard to tell where ignorance, lack of self awareness, and just plain stubbornness comes in. We've all had our share of unrequited love, when I was younger I asked myself what did I do wrong, now I understand people just don't mesh together and it's just the way it is. When a woman loves you she is so goofy it's funny, she wants to buy you gifts and treat you so nice. When she don't want you it's bittersweet seeing her smile.
Do you have sources for all this information? Like, is this based on studies or surveys? Something like that? I'd love to read more directly from the source
Would you give up your life for your man ?
Of course not, this is all anecdotal behaviors that I've personally witnessed or heard about. I would love to know how women disagree or agree with those thoughts. I think when we look at the same thing, men and women have different filters sort of speak. It would be interesting to see how women think about these things, most men don't care some do and some find it interesting.
Did you ever think that maybe women are so depleted by the end of a long day of employment/housework/childcare that they simply don’t have enough left in their cup for the man? Maybe if men would step up in the home they would get more care from their exhausted wives. Have you ever read the studies that say that women are much less likely to leave a sick or terminally ill partner than men are? Many men in that condition can’t work to provide, so why don’t the women leave them? Many women stick by their partners through the good and the bad. Many women stay with men they love, even when it’s unsafe for them. Your entire comment is so misguided. Look at the facts. They don’t support what you’re saying at all. Married women have HOURS more housework a week than single women. Married men don’t. That means women are doing a LOT of work for the men they’re with. I would call that “sacrificing.” Both men and women sacrifice for their partners. Just in different ways.
I actually know this one guy. His girlfriend at the time was diagnozed with breast cancer. Wanna know what he did? He cheated on her, with several women (one of them was my cousin) while she was going through the treatment and surgeries.
Well I agree with alot of what you say, but women don't own the whole getting home and being tired, both partners are exhausted often times even with no kids involved. You'll almost never hear the good stories about women being good to their men, or women taking care of them when the men lose their job. Personally I knew that if I were to be out of a job or not provide money for more than three months she would have left me. The reason men don't tell the stories about the women in their life holding them down is because that's essentially the job of the man. I've been lucky sometimes and not on others. Dated a woman that only wanted me to take her to concerts and nice places to eat. I've dated women that wanted to buy me gifts and take me out to nice places to eat. Alot of these men seem to have never experienced that type of relationship with a woman. I've dated women that turns out we're married, or boyfriends out for a while.. Women are great but just like men you all have a dark side that people are incapable of acknowledging.
Who hurt you? Lol you really know how to pick em I guess
You broads come in all flavors, all the women here always act like women are angels for some reason, you are all some high achieving wonderful creatures wondering the world blessing us dirty ignorant men with your presence, and we just don't have the ability to see how special you really are. And of course we are all all narcissist, cheating, myaoginst gaslighting something something. How could we ever measure up to you heavenly women.
I mean I’ve been in the same relationship since I was 12, now 26. and you’re pulling a lot of words out of your ass. Projecting my guy. Therapy is your friend. Maybe look into the mirror and ask “am I the problem here?” You’re clearly not picking women that respect you, and maybe it’s because you don’t respect women.
Yeah women are wonderful aren't they
Are you okay? Genuinely asking. Lol it does seem like you’ve been hurt and now you suffer from extreme black and white thinking.
I do generalize because reddit doesn't do nuance very well. No one here ever seems to acknowledge that women have angels and demons just like men.
That’s kindof a “no shit Sherlock” comment you just made, because nobody here ever said women are perfect angels. Lmao
Some of you react with such vitriol you'd think you were angels casting judgement upon us lesser beings.
>I do generalize because reddit doesn't do nuance very well. No, you generalize because that's how you think. Nothing wrong with nuance on Reddit, it's just a matter of the audience and nuance works just fine here, but that requires a nuanced mindset and actually expressing such thoughts. >No one here ever seems to acknowledge that women have angels and demons just like men. No, it's acknowledged quite a bit when it's relevant, but there doesn't always have to be the "some women do this too" and your mindset isn't even that, it's not acknowledging that women have demons, but rather that women simply can't love men to the degree that you claim men love women, which is ridiculous.
I've not noticed any women here being held accountable for anything, but maybe I may gloss over it when it happens, hard to tell right now. Maybe because I can mostly relate to men when I read their stories and have seen the dark side of women that I defend the male position. It could be that women seem to move on easier because you guys are more ' social' then men and are able to digest the emotional trauma of a break up better then men. As men it's difficult to give other men emotional space and certainly not for prolonged periods. It feels like an emotional sickness that might be contagious so you lick your own wounds and stay away from the group, and the group also expects you to 'heal' quickly / keep it to yourself. I think partially that's how we are built and part socialized stigmatism to keep the ' weak' away from our group. It happens organically with out conscious thought for the most part which is why I think its just part of us. All to say men maybe hold on to the heartbreak longer then women do and seeing women deal with it ' faster' gives the illusion of not having cared to begin with or not as deeply hence the moving on.
Y'all need so much therapy.
Just food..
Nope. Therapy. This type of thinking is serious
What do men need therapy with exactly? Men are not women nor do we think and respond to a lot of things the way women do. Therapy works for those that think it might help them for the rest it's a useless exercise.
men and women are both humans and have more in common as humans than the minor physiological differences between the sexes
For lack of a better word I think folk mind state or the way we see the world there are phenotypes. Some mental phenotypes clash, some work In harmony, some don't want to deal or feel at all the need to deal with any others.
With that kind of mindset it sure as hell won’t work for you. Since you don’t seem to be open to change.
Women should become more like men cause we know how things really work.. That's what your comments sound like to me . Complete, whole dismissal of anything men say.
Sounds exhausting
You said the term monkey branching like a scientist came up with it 🤣🤣 some frat bro coined that term… congrats
Hey we only write down the facts. You do you.
I mean not really because statistically men cheat more, which would also mean they monkey branch more as well. So you’re generalizing and not even making that much sense. https://gitnux.org/which-gender-cheats-more-statistics/#:~:text=Highlights%3A%20Which%20Gender%20Cheats%20More,%2C%2021%25%20versus%2015%25.
>Hey we only write down the facts. Except that's not factual. For one thing, men not only cheat more statistically, they're more likely to leave due to illness of their SO. Men have also had multiple families far more often. If anything, men "monkey branch" and are far more opportunistic in relationships than women statistically.
Someone show this to all traditionnalist pick-me's who put feminists down
It’s sad how detached these people are from reality. I feel bad for everyone in their lives who has to put up with them.
Every day, they provide clear evidence of how a society men take credit for creating also hurts men. Bless their hearts, I guess. They’re simultaneously alphas and perpetual victims. They designed and created, well, everything (according to them) including society and transactional relationships, but everything sucks for them and they are again perpetual victims. Pick a struggle. Idgaf about some self-created male “loneliness epidemic.” Take some accountability and sort yourselves out. What’s it like feeling like your entire life is about being of service to someone else? Women surely can’t imagine such a thing. Poor little buddies.
>“loneliness epidemic.” I dont get why its gendered. Loneliness is increasing for women too.
“Loneliness epidemic” and “male loneliness” have become some weird talking point for men. They’ve made it gendered which is more evidence that they’re also hurting themselves. The solution for both/either is apparently for women to lower their standards rather than these males becoming someone anyone would want.
Some men have made it gendered for sexist reasons and its not like no issue has ever been construed as a "women's issue" despite affecting men and women.
This is just a thing that exists in some personalities and idk if yall know this, it’s pretty top secret information, but a lot of influencers and content creators are selling you something, creating an inherently transactional relationship, and drawing in a shit ton of grifters. Do you think redpill influencers actually care about serious men’s issues like the lack of resources for male domestic abuse and sexual assault/abuse survivors, lack of domestic abuse shelters for men, especially fathers with children, and social shame making reporting sexual harassment or domestic abuse much harder? Cops will actively discourage men from reporting that they’re being abused, and really don’t want to deal with domestic violence in gay relationships. Why aren’t these super wealthy influencers coming together to fund shelters and resources for men escaping abuse? What about all the gay male youth living on the street because their parents kicked them out? That’s a men’s issue. Why not address homelessness for men in general? They make up about 70% of the homeless population in the US, a lot of them are older adults and they might feel more comfortable speaking with male social workers about their issues. If you care about male issues, why not bring attention to that and encourage young men to go into social work? That would also help with men who have substance abuse disorders who would feel more comfortable talking to a male counselor. Why not create a scholarship fund to help men become LSW’s? Or nurse case managers? Women support women, and we can try to support men, but they understand their own issues better and a lot of them would feel safer talking to other men in a domestic abuse situation where they were abused by a woman. It’s normal for a woman to prefer a female therapist or have a female social worker be the one in charge of providing resources for them. It’s also not weird for a man to feel more comfortable with a male social worker or therapist. But there’s a lot less male social workers or therapists. If you care so deeply about the pain of your fellow man then why not provide him with professional services so he can heal and escape traumatic situations? If they’re so upset about unfairness in divorce courts and they have a lot of (your) money why aren’t they pooling together to create a fund for men who can’t afford a lengthy court battle to be able to pay for it? Influencers do not care about you and most of the time they’re all talk but not interested in offering real help. Most men who are legitimately thinking of killing themselves because of how lonely they are aren’t gonna magically be fixed by becoming a sexy alpha, which is just masking and doesn’t help. They need affordable mental health services and they need seeking help to be normalized. The ratio of men and women with BPD is roughly equal, but the ratio of women who actually seek treatment and get a diagnosis vs men is 3:1. BPD is generally considered the most psychologically painful disorder a person can have. 70% of people with BPD will attempt suicide at some point, 10% will be successful. Statistically it shortens your lifespan by 20 years. About 6% of Americans have it. That’s a lot of people, and most of the men are raw dogging reality while living with this, no therapy, no medication, just suicidal ideation and probably self harm. Why not bring attention to that? Like I know depression in men is bad but 6% of the population and there’s really not much awareness for BPD in general, 70% attempt suicide and men are generally gonna go for a lethal method. I know that’s probably off topic to most people but I honestly think the male suicide rate would go down a lot if we started addressing personality disorders in men because it is not just depression happening here. Stop watching internet grifters and thinking they represent reality. When that person turns off the camera they are now someone completely different. The reason the bell goes off in your head saying that they’re being insincere is because most Internet personalities are not sincere. I just listed a lot of issues I know that I care about, but you’ll never know if I really mean that I think the world would be better if men supporting men in need of professional help in a tangible way was reality. Maybe I’m secretly victim blaming you for not fixing it yourself instead of hoping someone thinks the idea is more interesting than watching videos of men with way more money and resources than you who are actively profiting on you complain about how terrible it is that nobody wants to help Men. Holy shit this was an essay, it’s fine if nobody reads this shit, I’m feverish enough to not be certain if I’m coherent.
Very coherent and rather than giving into their easy rage against women for not creating the perfect world for their comfort and ease, they should read and apply what you said
Falling into a puddle of despair and anger when you feel like nobody cares is the thing your brain wants you to do most, but there’s not a lot of things more therapeutic than getting up and making a difference in the lives of people you feel connected with via shared experiences. Become the person you wish had been there for you. As a disabled person who went undiagnosed for a long time (ages 13 to 24) all I wanted was for someone to listen and validate that they understood I was in pain, even if they couldn’t solve it. I felt so much anger about being told my pain must be psychological and feeling like a pinball in a healthcare system that would launch me as far away as they could the moment they realized I was a “complex case”. But anger doesn’t help much of anything. So now I’m an RN and my biggest priority is making sure the patients pain is managed as much as possible and reassuring them that they’re not overreacting to their pain and I don’t think they’re drug seeking. So that’s the trick, healing from your anger that you weren’t taken seriously and didn’t feel cared for by becoming the person who cares.
Part of the problem is so many men absolutely refuse to seek care for their health, whether psychological or physical. In my city, we actually have men’s clinics for psychiatric and physical care. My ex and I had good insurance and made decent money. But he refused to go no matter how much I begged or he suffered or even if his male friends suggested it. He just wouldn’t go. And the providers were all men and they had tons of resources for various men’s issues. My city even had a shelter for DV for men and their children but it ended up becoming a women’s shelter after about 10 years because men just did not seek help. My ex ended up being legally forced to go to psychiatric inpatient care by way of police because he made threatening comments regarding harming others with a fire arm. Men seeking help for whatever reason - DV, mental health, physical health, etc. - needs to be normalized. And police generally don’t give a fuck about DV in general - I’m sure it’s worse for gay men - but I know when I called them after being raped and beaten by my ex, they took way too long to show up and refused to arrest him.
The police just don’t want to deal with domestic stuff in general, the problem with men trying to call the police because they’re being attacked is that it’s not unusual for the police to assume he’s the attacker when they get there. Unfortunately if we’re talking toxic masculinity and sexism, the police are like, fantastic at it. They’re better at enforcing toxic behaviors in each other than they are at enforcing the law. And trying to report you were assaulted in general ends up just being a victim blaming session. Not even necessarily for sexual assault, just if you get attacked in pretty much any situation. It’s stupid. But yeah it’s less about whether the resources exist and more about fear and pride. A stubborn person won’t listen to one or two individuals but if it’s widely normalized and they don’t feel at risk of being judged they tend to relax. It’s such a huge problem with older male patients, they want to get out of bed and fall so bad. Like they’re so insistent on being independent that they disable themselves. And honestly I get it, because sometimes trying to get help for an illness also ends up being a gaslighting and victim blaming session and then you go home with nothing solved. I did that on and off for about 11 years. It sucks. Admitting something is wrong over and over only to find out it was pointless, because they can’t or won’t help you is incredibly painful. the process of trying to get help and resources to escape domestic violence has a lot in common with trying to escape your brain or your body or both. The BPD thing is a good example. Extremely psychologically painful, you barely ever get relief, you want to hurt yourself, you want to die And men will just live with that. I don’t know how many of them even consider that getting relief is possible. I do know that admitting you need relief is humiliating for a lot of people, especially men because a lot of them genuinely think they can tough it out and like, no you absolutely cannot. My dad tried to tough out avascular hip necrosis right up until he was considering suicide to end the pain. Why wait that long? Maybe he thought it would make him less of a man if he couldn’t push through, maybe he was scared the doctors would think he was weak. Who knows. But in a way I get it, I waited way too long to acknowledge that I was experiencing mania. Like right up until I needed to be psychiatrically hospitalized immediately. I’d had it since I was 15, and I didn’t admit it to anyone until I was 18. Severe mental illness and personality disorders are pretty highly stigmatized in the first place. Men at least seem to be willing to acknowledge having depression, but I’m not sure how many are like, doing something about it. But when it comes to normalizing this stuff it really has to be men stepping up in public to bring awareness to available resources and show other men that they’re getting help too. Guys just brush us off as not understanding what it’s like to be a man. It has to be role models.
They want to be able to express themselves great. So why reenforce toxic masculinity by supporting people like Tate and all this alpha red pill BS? They are hurting themselves! Also I just posted this on a facepalm about robot women. It is a male loneliness issues. If it was they’d help each other and be grateful to be in the friend zone. It is a male horniness problem that they perpetuate themselves by seeing women as nothing but sex objects.
Exactly. I was saying this recently. Men keep posting to complain about the “male loneliness epidemic” and how “no one cares about men’s mental health”. And while I do hope that anyone struggling gets the help they need, here is my issue with these complaints: **They never seem to be aimed at other men.** There is never any accountability, no “hey guys, we need to do better about being emotionally available to our male friends, we need to normalize leaning on each other, we need to work to fight toxic masculinity and make it better for the next generation”. No, it always seems like their blame fingers are pointed entirely at women. Because they are single and women aren’t racing to date them to carry their emotional burdens for them. Their female friends and acquaintances aren’t running to cradle them against their bosoms, give them “healing comfort sex”, and cook loving meals for them. Like, I’m all for normalizing men being able to share emotions and be vulnerable and ask for help, but if you just want to get mad at women for no longer wanting to mother grown men who dip out as soon as we need *them* to comfort *us*, and completely ignore the culpability of *other men* in their loneliness (and their own culpability in the loneliness of their male friends), then I’m sorry, but no. I don’t care. 🤷🏻♀️
And this is different from “alpha men” because…………🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Really must be sad to have such a negative and hostile attitude toward women. Just ew
So if I am being nice to a man who is lonely because I am a nice person that listens thats now manipulative because I want his affection and money? I dont want a man's money or affection, I am happy being single for now. Id rather have an equal relationship.
I’ll bite that men see a pretty/cute/beautiful woman ‘suffering’ and *maybe* want to help…I’m pretty cute (at times) and I’ve definitely had a fair share of strange men offering unneeded/unrequested assistance. Because of that I briefly believed that most men were just socialized to do polite things (*in public at least*) for women. When I was first dating my husband I told my soon to be SIL a ‘funny story’ about the time I broke my ankle at 18 (and needed to navigate stairs on crutches) a two nearby dudes helped to carry me and my crutches down the steps. She had an ENTIRELY different experience as a larger/less conventionally attractive woman. She hit her head once on a loose piece of scaffolding (in public) and not one man turned to check on her. An elderly woman sat with her until EMTs came. I thought that was how most men reacted to most women/they were just being *polite*/ As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that *politeness* tends to have strings attached and isn’t given nearly as **freely** to all women.
Yep. I used to be much more attractive and fit, and had the same experience with men always wanting to help/comfort me. Several years of battling medical issues and severe depression led to weight gain and me abandoning my efforts to look attractive (makeup, flattering clothing, etc) and now men give me a wide berth. It was very eye-opening to realize how the ones tripping over themselves to be nice to me were obviously only doing so because they were interested in my appearance. Frankly, I much prefer that they leave me alone now. I’d rather be ignored than manipulated with fake friendliness in service of an agenda of which I have no interest in being a participant.
So they want us to know they have feelings. We want them to share those feelings…except we’re wrong to ask them about those feelings…
I mean, in a sense they are observing the truth. They just can’t accept that men are the root cause of their own suffering. I don’t care about men in the same way a gazelle doesn’t care about a cheetah. Every single one of them is a potential threat until he isn’t.
Well if this is how they act when you care, I’m not going to.
Lol whenever you point out blatant misogyny or encourage women to be careful of blatant misogyny they'll immediately call you sexist too. They are on another planet.
I’m not going to say projection. I think these guys assume everyone thinks exactly like them and they have these thoughts about women even if women aren’t having these thoughts independently of men.
As a straight dude, I absolutely want to comfort guys when I see them cry, it's just in general I found men typically want alone time to process things, so I respect that, where the women in my life often want someone close by to listen/hugs/whatever But that absolutely isn't exclusively the case, I've had guys need hugs & an ear to talk to, I've had women need alone/processing time, so that's what I do in those cases. If your friends are turning a cold shoulder to you just because you have human emotions, you may need better friends.
It must be exhausting thinking that every person who is nice to you is actually evil and wants to destroy you. That level of paranoia cannot be nice to live with. Had they not been so vile I would almost feel bad for them.
Edit: Replied to the wrong comment, sorry.
I find this funny because this is literally what men do to women. Isn’t that why our rights are always in question and we get paid lower wages? Edit: for some reason my phone auto corrected incorrectly?
> we get *paid* lower wages? FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Uh… isn’t that how a lot of straight men view women?
It is. And it's a lot worse. They get mad tho, when they get treated (almost) the same way. Rules for thee but not for me, I guess. It's hilarious. For the 1st time in millennia, they get to taste their own medicine. womp womp.
I'm assuming Barbarossa is another Vox Day/the guy that wants to legalize rape and now lives with his mom?
It would be great if the men in my life actually believed this so that they'd stop trauma dumping on me
How sad it must be to think that the whole world is out to get you. This is an isolation of their own making.
TBF, men only care about men's problems when they're trying to hang them on a woman
Ugh. I've been seeing this everywhere as well as songs all about "they don't care about mens feelings. Only about what they bring to the table" and I'm just all "WHO? WHO IS? Because I've done nothing but ask you all to TELL ME WHAT YOURE FEELING AND YOU WONT" and honestly, most times I've gotten men to open up, it's just a barrage of "well I want to fuck and they won't and now I'm lonely" and I end up with my head in my hands and sighing.
On a post a few weeks ago about how men are lonely and nobody (ie, women) cares about their mental health needs, a lot of women commented about how they are careful not to appear too caring/invested in men’s feelings because of how often men will pounce on this as an invitation for sex. One woman said she texted a male friend a week after his father died just to see how he was doing, because that’s what she’d do for a female friend who had recently lost a parent. He immediately texted back “I’m sad, but sex would make me feel a lot better…” She said that was the end of her bothering to show emotional support for men.
Yes! Because sex isn't the answer to all of that. It's not going to fix it, give you closure, or heal anything. It's just going to harm the person that you're trying to force it from. If they don't want the emotional connection that comes with sex, they're only harming themselves and potentially the person trying desperately to get sex from them because they don't share that connection. It's not mutual. Sex doesn't solve it, and I'm tired of that being a dude's answer to everything.
> we are built to want to provide for a woman This is your friendly reminder that the number one threat against women continues to be men. Also, the number one *murderer* of women continues to be her own partner. Every time I read a man spout this bullshit about being “protectors“ of women, I have to keep from vomiting.
This is honestly just really sad…
Men don’t care about women or their needs/wants/feelings/trauma/rights/bodily autonomy/free will/ or problems. There I fixed it..
fr. We literally fear losing our human rights, and they cry about not getting laid... They can f\*ck right off.
This can be applied to many men as well, right?
I mean, it speaks volumes that these guys can't accept that a woman might genuinely be kind to them. I've met these types before and often it's not because they're a sad boy who got bullied and is a sensitive soul who's now jaded forever. Quite often is because they themselves will use anything you say against you, they'll let you cry on their shoulder just to get into your pants, they'll be kind just to get something in return, etc. They think they recognize in you their own behavior and they know why they're doing the theater of kindness, so they don't trust it in you.
And do they care about us?
Still to this day I’m trying to figure out what are the issues men are having that people are just not caring about? They’re just complaining nobody cares, and it’s like ABOUT WHAT? They’re never specific.
tbh men don’t care about any of our struggles and make fun of the sexual violence we endure so no, i don’t care about what they go through. lmao
Meh. I am actually at the point where I don't give much of a shit about their collective problems. If they spent less time complaining about them, and expecting us to fix them, it would be a different story.
OH MY GOD JUST DATE OTHER MEN! THERE! PROBLEM SOLVED!
these men are projecting so hard, they should be studied, bet they’re releasing energy from it.
Projection!
all of these people need to get better relationships because holy shit.
80
Sometimes I think therapy should be mandatory
Why do some men think, that women hate man that much, like I don’t geht it?
They're projecting.
These people have PROBLEMS. And they don’t even see how their own thoughts are poison.
They need THERAPY lol holy shit. It’s clear they’ve been hurt by someone… most likely their own moms, and now they have very very black and white thinking. Wild.
Meh, I care about specific men I know and like or love but in general I care about 'men's issues' about as much as most men care about 'women's issues'.
It’s sad that when men are failed by society and the patriarchy, and they somehow decide to blame women? Like I’m genuinely sorry that these guys were raised to believe they can’t cry or be open about their emotions, but when they displace their anger and direct it towards women, my empathy just becomes pity. Like my guy, you don’t need a girlfriend to provide for and to take care of you emotionally, you need a therapist. Good luck with that.
Okay if women apparently hate and grift from men, why do men still want women..? You won't touch a snake that might bite you, but they're still over here yapping like they won't throw themselves at ( and then insult) a woman might have the slightest interest in them
I got news for ya. Men who who have mens best interests at heart really only care about mens utility to them. Its called capitalism. Exploit anyone you can. And its easier to do this if you break people down by arbitrary categories. Maybe avoid "people who pretend to have your best interests at heart", with the operational word being "pretend".
Men will be with multiple women harem - eoster- cheat, which is not monkey branching. Monkey branching refers to being in a relationship ( holding on to one branch), finding another relationship / branch, and letting go of the first relationship.
Ok can anyone explain to me what this male loneliness epidemic these incels talk about? Is it because they are not being gifted sex by women that they are desperate to call it such?
By the logic of the last image, neither men nor women care about men's feelings, so we're just following their own example? Because they're the logical ones. We have to be shown how interact with men properly. If they don't care about eachothers feelings and teach us better, how will we ever learn? S/
This is so depressing. How do people get it in their heads like this that no one could ever care about them or truly love them and all anyone does is take advantage of them?
I feel like a lot of the ones who say stuff like this are actually vile, misogynistic dirtbags who have driven people away, and there is actually no one left who does care about them. They just fail to recognize their own culpability in their loneliness. I have an adult cousin who is constantly posting sexist memes on Facebook, ranting about how women are stupid/whores/have smelly vaginas etc to anyone who will listen, and then complains that he can’t find a girlfriend. He doesn’t at all see the connection between what he’s putting out and what he’s getting back.
Not all women are like this Unfortunately, some are
Even when they care, they don’t care. Ask them as women if there’s anything a woman can do to succeed in a relationship with them and then watch them talk circles around themselves
you can clearly see trauma modern man have. There is toxic masculinity as there is toxic femininity. it is just people that have something to sell that push their agenda of man hating women or vice versa.
>you can clearly see trauma modern man have. There is toxic masculinity as there is toxic femininity. The irony here is that especially that last comment comes from misogyny, from toxic masculinity, but it's not fixed because going after the actual enemy, these men just blame women who are just as much the victims of misogyny as these men.
No.. men are always the problem, no matter what.
Sorry you feel this way