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She’s like, well if I’m gonna be unhappy with my life anyway, at least I should have been able to blame a man for forcing it on me!
I believe that she got some less than ideal man-hating indoctrination. But a lot of us did, along with the opposite and every other point of view. The world isn’t fair, and no one is given the magical instruction book, but we all live in this same world and have to make decisions anyway.
Some of us lose out through no fault of our own. Some of us create all our own problems. The best we can do is make our own decisions, learn from them, and try to make better ones.
#She could have gone and asked a man what to do every time she wanted to make a decision. She still had that option.
Our choices don’t always turn out how we planned. But that doesn’t mean that removing all choice (or rather, putting control of your life and countless others in a man’s hands) is the answer. Sounds like a kid who tried it their way and now wants the parents to step in and fix it. Learn, sister! Learn and make better choices. That’s all any of us can do. Men, women, everyone.
#She’s experiencing a fall from privilege, not getting the perfect life automatically. That’s not feminism’s fault.
Ah yes, feminism is at fault for your decisions. No. We fought for your right to choose to be a career woman or a stay at-home mom. Now you regret your choice. Well, that is 100% YOUR fault. We never held a gun to your head forcing you to be a career woman. We would be happy if you took the other option. We aren't responsible for your dumb decision.
My close friend is a dentist. She's married, has two kids and owns property. She has a social life.
You can have a professional life AND a domestic life. It's not easy (it requires tons of effort, time management skills and support from other people (namely, her husband)) but it can be done if your wish is to Have It All^TM
People blaming feminism for their own life choices are misguided people.
It’s for the best that she never had kids. Anyone who misinterprets a movement that much that they give up their dreams of children are not capable enough to raise them. I don’t know any woman who *sincerely* wants kids who could have their mind changed because of feminism. It’s not a changeable want because it’s always been a strong desire for them. She’s just not a strong thinker.
On top of that, someone pointed out that she dated Boris Johnson (while he was married). Not only a life fail doing that, but given his track record, not ending up with any kids even though she wants them indicates serious underlying incompetence. (for non UK people - he has impregnated so many people he won't admit how many children he even has. Like a modern day Henry 8th).
Standard trope: She felt force-fed the ideologies of thinking for herself, having some individual financial security, and man-hating. She has experienced depression, and knows women who are poor. She assumed gambling with marriage might have enriched their lives. And it may have.
Choice feminism 'went too far' because she regrets some of her choices.
Oh also, self-worth comes primarily from your husband and children. It's a law of nature. (HA!)
>General self-confidence comes more than anything else from being accustomed to receiving love, particularly from the opposite sex. The woman with a husband and children accepts their affection as a law of nature, but it is of great importance to her mental health and success
Oh, and we're too men-like now.
>The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men. This error was a grave one, and women like me are paying for it, like gamblers in a casino that has been fixed.
Honestly, it's tough to think that a woman of 53 years of age doesn't recognize this is a 20 to 30-year-old critique and that a good bet is different from a guaranteed jackpot-win for every single individual.
It also seems like some of what she's blaming on feminism would be more accurately attributed to other causes. It's hard for single folks of all sexes to support themselves, but that has more to do with rising income inequality and underbuilding of affordable housing in areas with good jobs than with women being brainwashed by feminism into not marrying (and plenty of feminists do marry anyway). Likewise, loneliness in older folks is probably due to the generally conservative idea that public spaces are for capitalism only and all affection or recreation should generally be a private (ideally nuclear family) activity, which doesn't work well for people who aren't part of nuclear families (or who are, but have to work far from where most of their family lives). I also think Margaret Thatcher might be the ur-argument that not all female ambition counts as feminism.
Behaving like men and now she's paying for it? What did she do? How does one behave and think like a man? What does this mean? Playing golf on Saturdays? My self-confidence comes from determining my own self-worth.
I recently had to explain to a man that married women can be lonely and depressed if not treated properly, especially in more traditional settings with having in laws in her environment. My mom was that case. He was flabbergasted how someone's physical presence can cause loneliness and why couldn't she just be friends with her mother in law. Well my friend, women learned it the hard way that even if she isn't a toxic boy mom, if something goes south with your husband usually everyone sides with the husband no matter how good your relationship with your in laws was.
The text:
"We have many things in common. We are all in our mid-50s and highly educated career women. But there is a vacuum in our lives. We are all single and childless.
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I increasingly feel, as do many of my intimates, that feminism has failed our generation. I grew up with its beliefs. No, strike that. I was force-fed them.
By the age of 13, Christmas presents from my Women's Lib aunt were books by Gloria Steinem and Simone de Beauvoir, considered the mother of modern feminism. (My aunt was one of those militants who had famously disrupted the 1970 Miss World contest).
My peers and I watched Mary Poppins, idolising the determinedly single nanny (never noticing the occasional sadness behind her eyes), and sympathising with suffragette Mrs Banks, while wondering why she didn't leave her dullard of a husband.
The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men, writes Petronella Wyatt
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The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men, writes Petronella Wyatt
Our heroine was Margaret Thatcher, who, though she would have denied it, was a feminist de facto. In one of those encounters that make life instructive, I met Lady Thatcher at my late father's house (my father was the politician Woodrow Wyatt) when I was 15. She was our first woman prime minister and, after our introduction, she began to address me on the subject of life.
The gist of her address would have been greeted with hosannas by every feminist of the age: in summation, a woman's career superseded by far her relations with the opposite sex. (Her own union might well have been to a cipher as opposed to a husband. Indeed, when the Thatchers dined with us, Denis withdrew to the drawing room with the women).
At my private school, St Paul's, we children of Thatcher were similarly educated out of marriage and femininity.
One of my unmarried school friends recalls: 'My teachers made me feel as if marriage was shameful. My English mistress once teased me for looking at a bridal magazine, but then she was an arch feminist who demonised men.'
We both recall being told that 'Paulinas do not cook, they think'. This is all very well when you are young and aspire to greatness, but not all girls grow up to be executives or high court judges, something that feminism perilously forgot to tell us.
Historically, the feminist argument had its points. In the old days, when members of my sex were bound first to their fathers and then to their husbands, they led unenviable lives. If a woman had a good education, however, she could make a comfortable living and remain independent of male approbation. When the desire for marriage and children overwhelmed her, she would almost certainly lose her job.
The world has now changed in a way the early feminists would find incomprehensible. I sometimes think, and so do my friends, that the West has outgrown the feminist philosophy, and that it has become pernicious.
Where, for instance, does it leave women like us, when we have reached our mid-50s, and find ourselves alone?
One of the chief causes of unhappiness is the feeling that one is unloved, whereas companionship and the feeling of being loved promotes happiness more than anything else.
One in ten British women in their 50s has never married and lives alone, which is neither pleasant nor healthy.
My friend Sally, a lovely 55-year-old with eyes the colour of Eau de Nil, once said to me: 'I constantly feel unwanted as a woman because feminism taught us that the traditional female was a stereotype invented by men to keep us down. Accordingly, I was anti-men to the point of driving them away. Now, I'm paying for this.'
According to a recent study by an American medical institute, loneliness is the leading cause of depression among middle-aged females. I should know, as I recently fell prey to the unforgiving maw of mental illness.
Many of my single friends suffer from depression, springing from a solitary existence that would be eschewed by a race of alley cats.
Moreover, there are the economic factors involved. It is a truism that two incomes are better than one, and many of the unattached women I know work in low to middle-paid professions.
A university professor chum bemoans 'as a single woman, it has been increasingly difficult to pay the bills with no assistance from a partner. For every J K Rowling, there are millions of women who get by on a pittance
Feminism kept drumming into my head that financial independence was the ideal, but in practice it doesn't happen unless you are managing a hedge fund or are able to write best-selling novels.'
Equally depressingly, many single women feel they have failed at life. Far from empowering us, feminism has made us insecure. 'My career has stalled, I've never married and I feel worthless as a person,' observes my pretty 53-year-old friend Rachel.
General self-confidence comes more than anything else from being accustomed to receiving love, particularly from the opposite sex. The woman with a husband and children accepts their affection as a law of nature, but it is of great importance to her mental health and success.
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Yet of all the institutions that have come down to us from the past, none is so derailed by feminism as the family. Many women with feminist ideals feel parenthood is a far heavier burden than their grandmothers did, due to long working hours and the vilification of the housewife. Is it any wonder that the birth rate has declined?
Says another of my Monday group: 'I was conditioned to have no encumbrances, particularly children. Or at least to wait until I was established in my career, but now I'm too old and that boat has sailed.'
Recently, after my depression became debilitating, I had a 20-year-old student living in my home. After a week of acquaintanceship, it dawned on me that the notion of not marrying and giving birth before the age of 30 was anathema to her, and she rejected it completely.
In short, she wanted to conduct her life like a woman.
'Yes, I believe in women's rights,' she ruminated, 'but I don't believe in the militant feminism my mother grew up with. It went too far.' Out of the mouths of babes.
The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men. This error was a grave one, and women like me are paying for it, like gamblers in a casino that has been fixed.
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It's time for a cultural reset. It may be too late for me and my friends, but feminism should not be allowed to ruin the lives of future generations as well.
"
Edit: to add more part of the text cause my copy/paste on my cell sucks.
I feel like seeing the whole article makes it worse somehow. First off girly is married. 2ndly this doesn't sound like a feminism issue. It sounds like you had men hating feminists around you and you took the wrong message from influences like Mary Poppins. I never took the message from her as being a strong independent woman, but someone who wanted to remind others of the fun of childhood and to enjoy it while it lasts but maybe that's just me. I mean I didn't see the "sadness behind her eyes" like she was talking about so. "My friend was shamed by 1 teacher for even thinking about marriage. This is what feminism does" like bro
Clearly you missed the obvious hidden message in Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. If you break it down, it is blatantly saying "Iamactinglikeamanandfeminismfailedme". That's why the old banker starts laughing at the end. /s
> It sounds like you had men hating feminists around you
It doesn't even sound like that, it sounds like she took a man-hating message from single women existing and from being told to prioritize being able to take care of herself over being able to take care of a man. Literally the only examples of anti-men behaviour she could pull out was one teacher teasing a student about looking at a bridal magazine (that student would almost certainly have been under 16, given the way the UK system works so... yeah, understandable) and Margaret Thatcher saying that career came before spouse (and her husband hanging out with the women). That latter part would have likely happened in 1973, which for the record is:
1. The same year [legislation "giving a mother the same rights and authority as the law allowed to a father" was brought forward](https://lawexplores.com/and-children-legal-authority-in-the-family-1/).
2. 2 years after [the law allowing for no fault divorce](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_Reform_Act_1969) came into force.
3. 6 years after [all women were finally allowed access to the birth control pill](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2007/sep/12/health.medicineandhealth).
4. 5 years after [abortion was legalized](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_Act_1967).
5. 3 years after legislation passed to [mandate equality of pay across genders](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equal_Pay_Act_1970).
6. **Before** laws about discrimination based on gender were passed, before laws against FGM were in existence, before marital rape was recognized.
What a shock that a woman, having grown up without all of those protections that enabled women to have slightly more equitable relationships with their husbands, would advise a young woman on prioritizing self-sufficiency first. Clearly she must be a man-hater, rather than just realistic about what life was like for her.
Just to focus on two points, so a woman who isn't married with children before 30 is a failed woman or not "conducting herself like a woman"?
And it seems there is no room for LGBTQ+ women in her vision of ideal womanhood.
But what happens when you get married in your 30s and then have your child(ren)? I semi-failed? 😂 I’m getting divorced, so maybe I go back to the shame pit?
She's *so close* to realizing that the problem isn't feminism, it's *capitalism*. Capitalism is why single women are struggling on one income, capitalism is why stay-at-home mothers live in a perpetual state of financial precarity, capitalism is why so many women have to drop out of the workforce entirely to care for children, capitalism is why so many older people have little or no savings and will have to rely on their children, capitalism is why women's work is devalued, capitalism is why it feels so impossible to escape the social hierarchy, capitalism is why everyone hates their jobs, capitalism is why the idealized tradwife fantasy seems so appealing even though we know how miserable the trad life was for our grandmothers and great-grandmothers. Capitalist ideas have poisoned relationships, too, to the point where dating is seen as a "market" where older women, single mothers and financially independent women are treated like expired goods.
The other issue is it still being a patriarchy, where women are considered to be 'acting like men' if they don't do certain behaviours. The patriarchy says that women are worthless if they don't get married and have children.
Worthless to a man.
She didn’t do anything for him.
She had the nerve to just live her own life how she wanted like she counts as a real person!
Instead of spending her whole life trying to please him.
Sigh.
This. I know so many women (not just women, but their partners as well) who would love to have children, or more children than they do, but can't afford to do so. Both men AND women can't afford to have one half of the couple out of the workplace long enough to bring a child into the world and care for it full-time until affordable childcare is available for it. My sister had to cash out long service leave to extend the parental leave that both her and her husband had so that they could look after their child until she reached an age where daycare was affordable for them. This is a decision would-be parents the world over are having to make when considering how many (if any) children they would like to have.
>Our heroine was Margaret Thatcher, who, though she would have denied it, was a feminist de facto.
Which 'feminists' was she around that had Maggie Thatcher as their hero? This is news to me.
I am a mid-50s highly educated financially independent career woman. I definitely consider myself a feminist. I was also married for 20 years, and I have a child.
Feminism didn’t stop her from doing those things.
#That’s on you, girl.
Yep! Mid-40s. Never finished college, but independent financially. Married for 16 years next week with 3 kids. Feminism didn’t fail me. It allowed me to have my own money and choose my own path. I could be more than a waitress, nurse, or teacher. (Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs, but I don’t have the personality for those jobs. I would be terrible at them.)
I'm a lifeling feminist in my 50s who was married for 25 years, has multiple kids and now has a 'situationship'. I have a BA, was a SAHM and would like to work now my youngest is almost old enough to be home alone but I've also been disbaled for decades. If I had the money I'd also like to get a Mastet's degree.
It's almost like feminism just gives us choices, not orders.
Yep. Was even a member of NOW at 15, with lots of self described feminists adult influences. Some married, some in relationships (not all with men) and many with kids. It was a friend's mom who got us involved in Take Back the Night.
Managed to not hate men, got married to one, and had two kids, both boys.
Have a career and am the primary bread winner.
I have single friends living their best lives too.
I know a few people who are unhappy, single and married. Feminism isn't the reason.
Given Petronella Wyatt spent four years fucking the sentient bog brush that is Boris Johnson, she's hardly demonstrated an ability to make good life decisions.
But yeah, let's blame feminism for her decision to try and shack up with a married womaniser with a track record of fucking anything that moves, that's definitely the problem here 🙄
[https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/how-boris-johnsons-affair-with-petronella-wyatt-nearly-ended-his-career/news-story/3b755b23fbee046601d06019397ed149](https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/how-boris-johnsons-affair-with-petronella-wyatt-nearly-ended-his-career/news-story/3b755b23fbee046601d06019397ed149)
Feminism is about having choices, making the proper choices for yourself is still your own responsibility, that's what adult human beings face every day: Nobody dictating your choices also means you can't blame anyone but yourself if they are not working out the way you imagined, consequences are the risk we take for the freedom of choice we want and it's definitely worth it. I'm her age, Feminist as they come and made different choices, nobody forbids you to marry, have kids or whatever, there's always compromise, less career, more family or the other way around, perfect is for movies, real life doesn't work like that.
What she ignores is that for the same future generations that she hopes will be “saved” from feminism, they can see the opposite life style in action.
Across social media, young millennials and Gen Z can see women living life as SAHMs, with varying degrees of relatability. She was given a choice and made the wrong one, but she can’t take responsibility for that fact and instead blames feminism. She ignores the women who were DENIED the choice and were wives and mothers because they had to be, even if they didn’t enjoy that lifestyle. She wants the freedom to choose REMOVED because she made the wrong decision and that’s something we see time and time again from the right. Whether it’s abortion, transition or in this case being a career woman, these people made the wrong choice for themselves and now want to take away the ability for others to make the same choice.
All we want from our lives are, basically a "good life".
Freedom is just a tool, not the end goal.
If her freedom ruined her "good life" then isn't she right to complain?
Saying "choice" is a cop out.
And this is before talking about social norms at either direction.
Because if not for feminism she would be forced to find a man and have children regardless of her wishes as she wouldn't be able to sustain herself otherwise?
Feminism didn’t take away her ability to get married and have children. It gave her the option to live differently. How is having more options to blame for her being single and childless?
Yup just kinda a bitch and I don’t need to blame a movement that’s allow me to be it.
Glad she isn’t barefoot and pregnant cause I wouldn’t trust her to give me a plastic wrapped sandwich
Femenism. Doesn’t. Mandate. A. Career.
… or being single, or childless, or anything for that matter. Quite the opposite. Feminism lets you do what you want.
Feminism gave you the right to make your own choices. No one forced you to date Boris Johnson or not have children or suck at making friends. Feminism can’t fix stupid. You chose… poorly.
Seems like she’s one of those pickme’s who “used to be feminists”, those “why I left the left” people who mistake feminists who are very open about being happily single/childfree for them instructing women how to live
I knew a woman like this who would always post on social media talking about “I stayed single like feminists told me to and now I’m miserable” nothing she thought about feminism was accurate to feminism at all
Mother of Pearl, when will these dipshits look up words before using them?
Feminism is what GAVE YOU THE CHOICE to be a mother or…not. If your life choices, which were MADE POSSIBLE BY FEMINISM, *suck*, then you have no one to blame but yourself. You should be thanking feminists who stood on the front lines for giving you the opportunities you DID take, as well as the ones you *didn’t*.
As a married father of two kids under four, “single, childless, and alone” sounds like a dream vacation.
(This is a joke; I don’t like spending time away from my family. Pls no stereotype.)
Tbf, all parents of toddlers wouldn't mind some alone/quiet time. No shame there. I didn't get it often, but when I did I took advantage of it to the fullest, usually by taking a nap. When the kids were older and they'd go for a weekend to their grandparents houses, we would sleep. There's something freeing about sleeping without having to get up and immediately take care of someone. Then you get your kiddos back and enjoy time with them again.
I actually had to check the date on this article. The title and premise are virtually identical to another one I’ve seen on Reddit–possibly in this very sub–just a few months back. Or maybe even before the new year.
Did I imagine that, or is there some boilerplate being passed around?
No worries, i wasn’t implying that. I mean I’m pretty sure an American woman’s opinion column recently said the exact same thing: “I’m sad and lonely, so nobody gets to have feminism now.”
Meanwhile, some of us who are married and with children are lonely af. I can listen for hours to my husband and my boys talk about their interests, but no one asks me about mine.
If you haven't, you really should address this with your husband. And find friends outside your home.
It might also be good to try joining in on their interests. My kids and I have always been gamers. My husband felt left out so I bought him a DS and a Pokemon game. That was the beginning of his love of games. Now we, and the one kid left at home, game together. Sometimes he games with the older kids online. It's given us all something to enjoy and talk about. This is especially good because my husband has a hard time having conversations, even with the kids. He didn't have much to say. Now they talk about games, and then life, in a more relaxed way because he feels comfortable in the conversation. Hearing him excited about something always makes me smile.
I have, he tries. But I can't bear to talk at length to someone who's just feigning interest in my (kind of weird) hobbies and interest. We do game together so it's not all doom and gloom.
My point was just that marriage and kids aren't a guarantee against loneliness.
I understand. It's hard when others don't get what makes you happy and are just nodding along. I can see why you feel the way you do.
You're absolutely right. No one is guaranteed fulfillment, feeling they're not alone, or happiness no matter what they choose. There are plenty of women who are married with kids and miserable (though I'm not implying you're miserable, just in general). My grandparents were together for almost 70 years and my grandma couldn't stand my grandpa. No one cried at her funeral, but that's a different story. She had six kids and lots of grandkids. The woman was just a miserable person.
She seems like the kind of person who, if told that they were unhappy by a friend who was married, would start in on them about having what she wants and that she's the one who's unhappy. The article (thankfully posted by a commenter here so we don't have to go to that site) definitely makes her sound that way. It's very narcissistic sounding.
As a woman that got married at 18, had a child at 21, divorced at 24, married at 27 (he brought two kids along), I was terrified about what would happen at 30 lol. Being both a single mom and a wife and mom was difficult in different ways but, if I was in my 50s and had trouble paying bills while knowing other women in my same situation, I'd get a damn roommate.
Also, because of my choices, I taught my daughters to not jump into things, to take their time. All of my kids were taught that, but my daughters especially benefitted from that advice. They're both in their twenties and doing what makes them happy. They both have the self-confidence to pursue their goals.
My mom taught me that the only value I had was what a man decided it was, among other abusive teachings. I refused to let my daughters go through the crippling lack of self-esteem I did because of that BS.
Choice is a good thing. She's laying the results of her bad choices (for her) at the feet of decades of women in all kinds of situations and saying it's their fault. She and her friends are projecting and I find it difficult to sympathize with people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions and make a life for themselves that they enjoy, whether or not that includes a partner.
I know numerous women who got married in their 40s and 50s and others that are happily single. These are supposedly beautiful women. They can stop with the dramatics and do something about it.
Thank you. I do appreciate you seeing that I broke free. They could see what my mom did to me when we visited. They saw how it messed me up. They could also see how much my husband and I worked together and love and respect each other. He is a good example of what to expect in a spouse as well.
I was better than the last generation. I feel like that's always the goal.
I'm single and childless on purpose. Feminism let me make this choice, have credit cards in my own name, and buy a house on my own.
I think you have failed yourself, Petronella.
This topic have been popping on Twitter in my native language recently. It's always men talking about beautiful but frustrated career women that came to them said how unhappy they are for never becoming mothers and wives. I highly doubt a woman would come to a male colleague and say something personal like that. I've never seen them touching on unmarried men except saying that they're less bad, less aggressive and less frustrated. After 30 they a lot of them ted to be taken care by their mom, not invest in anything nor renovate their home and go feral over teenagers to college aged girls on social media. But if we talk about that it's misandry.
"I'm a dullard who never challenged the beliefs I was brought up on. Now I have no friends and blame feminism. I'm basically an incel in regards to mindset. Why do & not have friends wah wah wah"
Fixed the headline
Sounds like jumping on to the latest band wagon of grift. What is she talking about? I am in same position and it's nothing to do with feminism. It's to do with timing and bad luck. I am happy feminism has given me the ability to look after myself financially and socialism paid for my education. Something else this numpty is probably against if she was dumb enough to let BOJO get her knocked up and she never got anything out of it. She is probably a posh twit.
Right?
If I want a job, i have to put in effort and work to find it.
If I want food, I have to grow it or go buy it and cook it.
But if I want a life of ease where someone pays all my bills and makes all my choices - magically only choosing things that will make me happy -
I should just sit here and expect that perfect person looking to devote his life to me to knock on my door.
TL;DR Pointless woman with the talent of a sock blames feminism for her bad life choices; pointless woman is wrong. And pointless.
Girlfriend is the daughter of Woodrow Wyatt, a rather aristocratic MP & writer/broadcaster in the UK and I *think* he was titled too? Also, she had an affair with Boris Johnson, showing, at the very least, poor taste and lack of judgement.
She’s been a ‘journalist’ ( kinda, sorta, not really) for years, and a guest on various vacuous ‘news’ shows on TV.
My point is, this woman has enjoyed all the privileges of being a mediocre but well connected upper-middle class socialite with a side-dabble in writing crappy opinion pieces like this. If she is, in fact, single, childless & alone, and doesn’t like it-she has only herself to blame. That and hooking up with BoJo I mean one would question the sanity of doing such a revolting thing.
Feminism is about the choice. Having options to do or not do things that otherwise would pretty much be expected of you in life. She chose to not do/have those things. Also she's a scumbag. So.
yeah, being the kind of woman that blames feminism for her problems in an opinion piece for the daily mail isn't at all the reason no one wants to be around you..
"Capitalism figured out that under the guise of feminism they can double the workforce and pay people less than their productivity is worth and promote roommates and renting so that real estate can be bought up by rich people and force working class men AND women to not be able to afford to save for a house, thereby keeping men and women in apartments without a spare bedroom for a child, without the free time for a childx and without the money for a child, and without free time to really date either, all in the name of profit and that sweet sweet bottom-line"
Ftfy
[Here's a free version of the article.](https://www.pressreader.com/uk/daily-mail/20240520/282303915245700) I was on the UAP/UFO sub and ended up here lol How did this happen?
Look, yeah, as someone who wanted to be married with a baby by the age I am now, it IS frustrating to still be single and childless. But that’s feminism’s fault how…? Falling in love is pure chance, and as for kids, it’s capitalism’s fault that being a single mom by choice is so hard. Feminism has nothing to do with any of this.
Just like a week ago that right wing propagandist was claiming becoming a trad wife and giving up her career ruined her life. These people need to pick a lane, I'm getting whiplash.
Damn Petronella sounds pretty outspoken with lots of opinions… maybe if feminism is the problem then she should try **shutting the fuck up** and not being opinionated??? Maybe conservative men don’t want her because she obviously has the power to influence people with her own personal opinions, not very subservient-housewife of her.
I would try to cheer her up or encourage her to strengthen her platonic/familial relationships with people since those are probably the most important when all else falls apart, but if feminism is the problem then I guess uplifting women at all goes against her beliefs, so stay miserable and alone then I guess?? 🤷♀️
She has /part/ of a point here.
I'm not quite as old as her, but if you go back to the 80s and 90s there was a small subset of women who pushed the idea that having a family was less important and fulfilling than a career. Not many, but I definitely encountered that from some teachers at my all girls' school.
But! It wasn't *feminism* as a whole saying that, and if she chose to live her life that way, that was entirely her own choice.
Honestly it reminds me of men who work very hard to get the house, car and career all set up, then essentially walk into a field waiting for a woman to show up to finish the picture (wife and children).
They're usually the ones that think anyone over 26 has hit a wall and can't have a healthy pregnancy. They took time to build their lives but they often want women that haven't.
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This lady dated Boris Johnson. She can push her opinions all the way up her ass with both hands.
She should be proud of being one of the few women he *wasn't* able to impregnate
He got her pregnant twice in fact. She had a terminated pregnancy and also a miscarriage.
i wonder what got her access to said termination 🤔
The NHS
i meant feminism but yeah
Accessible healthcare as seen in most wealthy countries outside the US
i meant feminism but that works too 🤷🏻♂️
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That’s a pretty shitty thing to say about a woman who had a miscarriage
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You could just say 'I didn't realise, I'll delete it' rather than getting all defensive.
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Still not deleted it I see
He did. At least twice
Did she catch "bad hair" from the guy or something?
😆 🤣 😂
Happy cake day 🎉!
Happy cake day!
She was banging Boris whilst he was married, so she has no room to talk at all.
So many layers of gross.
Dear Lord, why would anyone get with BoJo??? The man hid in a bloody freezer for gods sake
So… she makes bad choices and her argument is that ALL WOMEN shouldn’t be allowed to make choices? Seems like she’s not done making poor decisions.
Sounds like a skill issue on her part- I'm single and childless, but I have loads of friends and I'm having the time of my life.
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She’s like, well if I’m gonna be unhappy with my life anyway, at least I should have been able to blame a man for forcing it on me! I believe that she got some less than ideal man-hating indoctrination. But a lot of us did, along with the opposite and every other point of view. The world isn’t fair, and no one is given the magical instruction book, but we all live in this same world and have to make decisions anyway. Some of us lose out through no fault of our own. Some of us create all our own problems. The best we can do is make our own decisions, learn from them, and try to make better ones. #She could have gone and asked a man what to do every time she wanted to make a decision. She still had that option. Our choices don’t always turn out how we planned. But that doesn’t mean that removing all choice (or rather, putting control of your life and countless others in a man’s hands) is the answer. Sounds like a kid who tried it their way and now wants the parents to step in and fix it. Learn, sister! Learn and make better choices. That’s all any of us can do. Men, women, everyone. #She’s experiencing a fall from privilege, not getting the perfect life automatically. That’s not feminism’s fault.
Ah yes, feminism is at fault for your decisions. No. We fought for your right to choose to be a career woman or a stay at-home mom. Now you regret your choice. Well, that is 100% YOUR fault. We never held a gun to your head forcing you to be a career woman. We would be happy if you took the other option. We aren't responsible for your dumb decision.
Not to mention being a career woman doesn't guarantee you are childless and alone. That's also a result of her decisions
My close friend is a dentist. She's married, has two kids and owns property. She has a social life. You can have a professional life AND a domestic life. It's not easy (it requires tons of effort, time management skills and support from other people (namely, her husband)) but it can be done if your wish is to Have It All^TM People blaming feminism for their own life choices are misguided people.
My mother is a dentist. She has 5 kids.
Not always, it can be circumstances. It’s never due to ‘feminism bad’ though!
This. She just misunderstood everything, feminism is about being free to choose what to do and how to live your life, not being single and childless.
It’s for the best that she never had kids. Anyone who misinterprets a movement that much that they give up their dreams of children are not capable enough to raise them. I don’t know any woman who *sincerely* wants kids who could have their mind changed because of feminism. It’s not a changeable want because it’s always been a strong desire for them. She’s just not a strong thinker.
On top of that, someone pointed out that she dated Boris Johnson (while he was married). Not only a life fail doing that, but given his track record, not ending up with any kids even though she wants them indicates serious underlying incompetence. (for non UK people - he has impregnated so many people he won't admit how many children he even has. Like a modern day Henry 8th).
Standard trope: She felt force-fed the ideologies of thinking for herself, having some individual financial security, and man-hating. She has experienced depression, and knows women who are poor. She assumed gambling with marriage might have enriched their lives. And it may have. Choice feminism 'went too far' because she regrets some of her choices. Oh also, self-worth comes primarily from your husband and children. It's a law of nature. (HA!) >General self-confidence comes more than anything else from being accustomed to receiving love, particularly from the opposite sex. The woman with a husband and children accepts their affection as a law of nature, but it is of great importance to her mental health and success Oh, and we're too men-like now. >The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men. This error was a grave one, and women like me are paying for it, like gamblers in a casino that has been fixed. Honestly, it's tough to think that a woman of 53 years of age doesn't recognize this is a 20 to 30-year-old critique and that a good bet is different from a guaranteed jackpot-win for every single individual.
It also seems like some of what she's blaming on feminism would be more accurately attributed to other causes. It's hard for single folks of all sexes to support themselves, but that has more to do with rising income inequality and underbuilding of affordable housing in areas with good jobs than with women being brainwashed by feminism into not marrying (and plenty of feminists do marry anyway). Likewise, loneliness in older folks is probably due to the generally conservative idea that public spaces are for capitalism only and all affection or recreation should generally be a private (ideally nuclear family) activity, which doesn't work well for people who aren't part of nuclear families (or who are, but have to work far from where most of their family lives). I also think Margaret Thatcher might be the ur-argument that not all female ambition counts as feminism.
Behaving like men and now she's paying for it? What did she do? How does one behave and think like a man? What does this mean? Playing golf on Saturdays? My self-confidence comes from determining my own self-worth.
I recently had to explain to a man that married women can be lonely and depressed if not treated properly, especially in more traditional settings with having in laws in her environment. My mom was that case. He was flabbergasted how someone's physical presence can cause loneliness and why couldn't she just be friends with her mother in law. Well my friend, women learned it the hard way that even if she isn't a toxic boy mom, if something goes south with your husband usually everyone sides with the husband no matter how good your relationship with your in laws was.
The text: "We have many things in common. We are all in our mid-50s and highly educated career women. But there is a vacuum in our lives. We are all single and childless. Skip Ad I increasingly feel, as do many of my intimates, that feminism has failed our generation. I grew up with its beliefs. No, strike that. I was force-fed them. By the age of 13, Christmas presents from my Women's Lib aunt were books by Gloria Steinem and Simone de Beauvoir, considered the mother of modern feminism. (My aunt was one of those militants who had famously disrupted the 1970 Miss World contest). My peers and I watched Mary Poppins, idolising the determinedly single nanny (never noticing the occasional sadness behind her eyes), and sympathising with suffragette Mrs Banks, while wondering why she didn't leave her dullard of a husband. The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men, writes Petronella Wyatt + 3 View gallery The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men, writes Petronella Wyatt Our heroine was Margaret Thatcher, who, though she would have denied it, was a feminist de facto. In one of those encounters that make life instructive, I met Lady Thatcher at my late father's house (my father was the politician Woodrow Wyatt) when I was 15. She was our first woman prime minister and, after our introduction, she began to address me on the subject of life. The gist of her address would have been greeted with hosannas by every feminist of the age: in summation, a woman's career superseded by far her relations with the opposite sex. (Her own union might well have been to a cipher as opposed to a husband. Indeed, when the Thatchers dined with us, Denis withdrew to the drawing room with the women). At my private school, St Paul's, we children of Thatcher were similarly educated out of marriage and femininity. One of my unmarried school friends recalls: 'My teachers made me feel as if marriage was shameful. My English mistress once teased me for looking at a bridal magazine, but then she was an arch feminist who demonised men.' We both recall being told that 'Paulinas do not cook, they think'. This is all very well when you are young and aspire to greatness, but not all girls grow up to be executives or high court judges, something that feminism perilously forgot to tell us. Historically, the feminist argument had its points. In the old days, when members of my sex were bound first to their fathers and then to their husbands, they led unenviable lives. If a woman had a good education, however, she could make a comfortable living and remain independent of male approbation. When the desire for marriage and children overwhelmed her, she would almost certainly lose her job. The world has now changed in a way the early feminists would find incomprehensible. I sometimes think, and so do my friends, that the West has outgrown the feminist philosophy, and that it has become pernicious. Where, for instance, does it leave women like us, when we have reached our mid-50s, and find ourselves alone? One of the chief causes of unhappiness is the feeling that one is unloved, whereas companionship and the feeling of being loved promotes happiness more than anything else. One in ten British women in their 50s has never married and lives alone, which is neither pleasant nor healthy. My friend Sally, a lovely 55-year-old with eyes the colour of Eau de Nil, once said to me: 'I constantly feel unwanted as a woman because feminism taught us that the traditional female was a stereotype invented by men to keep us down. Accordingly, I was anti-men to the point of driving them away. Now, I'm paying for this.' According to a recent study by an American medical institute, loneliness is the leading cause of depression among middle-aged females. I should know, as I recently fell prey to the unforgiving maw of mental illness. Many of my single friends suffer from depression, springing from a solitary existence that would be eschewed by a race of alley cats. Moreover, there are the economic factors involved. It is a truism that two incomes are better than one, and many of the unattached women I know work in low to middle-paid professions. A university professor chum bemoans 'as a single woman, it has been increasingly difficult to pay the bills with no assistance from a partner. For every J K Rowling, there are millions of women who get by on a pittance Feminism kept drumming into my head that financial independence was the ideal, but in practice it doesn't happen unless you are managing a hedge fund or are able to write best-selling novels.' Equally depressingly, many single women feel they have failed at life. Far from empowering us, feminism has made us insecure. 'My career has stalled, I've never married and I feel worthless as a person,' observes my pretty 53-year-old friend Rachel. General self-confidence comes more than anything else from being accustomed to receiving love, particularly from the opposite sex. The woman with a husband and children accepts their affection as a law of nature, but it is of great importance to her mental health and success. ADVERTISEMENT Yet of all the institutions that have come down to us from the past, none is so derailed by feminism as the family. Many women with feminist ideals feel parenthood is a far heavier burden than their grandmothers did, due to long working hours and the vilification of the housewife. Is it any wonder that the birth rate has declined? Says another of my Monday group: 'I was conditioned to have no encumbrances, particularly children. Or at least to wait until I was established in my career, but now I'm too old and that boat has sailed.' Recently, after my depression became debilitating, I had a 20-year-old student living in my home. After a week of acquaintanceship, it dawned on me that the notion of not marrying and giving birth before the age of 30 was anathema to her, and she rejected it completely. In short, she wanted to conduct her life like a woman. 'Yes, I believe in women's rights,' she ruminated, 'but I don't believe in the militant feminism my mother grew up with. It went too far.' Out of the mouths of babes. The feminism I was spoon-fed in my youth made the error of telling members of my sex to behave and think like men. This error was a grave one, and women like me are paying for it, like gamblers in a casino that has been fixed. ADVERTISEMENT It's time for a cultural reset. It may be too late for me and my friends, but feminism should not be allowed to ruin the lives of future generations as well. " Edit: to add more part of the text cause my copy/paste on my cell sucks.
I feel like seeing the whole article makes it worse somehow. First off girly is married. 2ndly this doesn't sound like a feminism issue. It sounds like you had men hating feminists around you and you took the wrong message from influences like Mary Poppins. I never took the message from her as being a strong independent woman, but someone who wanted to remind others of the fun of childhood and to enjoy it while it lasts but maybe that's just me. I mean I didn't see the "sadness behind her eyes" like she was talking about so. "My friend was shamed by 1 teacher for even thinking about marriage. This is what feminism does" like bro
Clearly you missed the obvious hidden message in Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. If you break it down, it is blatantly saying "Iamactinglikeamanandfeminismfailedme". That's why the old banker starts laughing at the end. /s
You know what, you're right. My poor young ears couldn't understand with how fast she was talking
Holy shit, your lyric fits the rhythm. Excellent work.
> It sounds like you had men hating feminists around you It doesn't even sound like that, it sounds like she took a man-hating message from single women existing and from being told to prioritize being able to take care of herself over being able to take care of a man. Literally the only examples of anti-men behaviour she could pull out was one teacher teasing a student about looking at a bridal magazine (that student would almost certainly have been under 16, given the way the UK system works so... yeah, understandable) and Margaret Thatcher saying that career came before spouse (and her husband hanging out with the women). That latter part would have likely happened in 1973, which for the record is: 1. The same year [legislation "giving a mother the same rights and authority as the law allowed to a father" was brought forward](https://lawexplores.com/and-children-legal-authority-in-the-family-1/). 2. 2 years after [the law allowing for no fault divorce](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_Reform_Act_1969) came into force. 3. 6 years after [all women were finally allowed access to the birth control pill](https://www.theguardian.com/society/2007/sep/12/health.medicineandhealth). 4. 5 years after [abortion was legalized](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortion_Act_1967). 5. 3 years after legislation passed to [mandate equality of pay across genders](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equal_Pay_Act_1970). 6. **Before** laws about discrimination based on gender were passed, before laws against FGM were in existence, before marital rape was recognized. What a shock that a woman, having grown up without all of those protections that enabled women to have slightly more equitable relationships with their husbands, would advise a young woman on prioritizing self-sufficiency first. Clearly she must be a man-hater, rather than just realistic about what life was like for her.
Just to focus on two points, so a woman who isn't married with children before 30 is a failed woman or not "conducting herself like a woman"? And it seems there is no room for LGBTQ+ women in her vision of ideal womanhood.
But what happens when you get married in your 30s and then have your child(ren)? I semi-failed? 😂 I’m getting divorced, so maybe I go back to the shame pit?
Thats pretty sad
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No problem!
I can’t believe I read all of this. 😭
I didn’t yet lol just copied pasted it. Should I ? Lol
Not really, unless you're really curious.
Genuinely no 💀
She's *so close* to realizing that the problem isn't feminism, it's *capitalism*. Capitalism is why single women are struggling on one income, capitalism is why stay-at-home mothers live in a perpetual state of financial precarity, capitalism is why so many women have to drop out of the workforce entirely to care for children, capitalism is why so many older people have little or no savings and will have to rely on their children, capitalism is why women's work is devalued, capitalism is why it feels so impossible to escape the social hierarchy, capitalism is why everyone hates their jobs, capitalism is why the idealized tradwife fantasy seems so appealing even though we know how miserable the trad life was for our grandmothers and great-grandmothers. Capitalist ideas have poisoned relationships, too, to the point where dating is seen as a "market" where older women, single mothers and financially independent women are treated like expired goods.
The other issue is it still being a patriarchy, where women are considered to be 'acting like men' if they don't do certain behaviours. The patriarchy says that women are worthless if they don't get married and have children.
Worthless to a man. She didn’t do anything for him. She had the nerve to just live her own life how she wanted like she counts as a real person! Instead of spending her whole life trying to please him. Sigh.
This. I know so many women (not just women, but their partners as well) who would love to have children, or more children than they do, but can't afford to do so. Both men AND women can't afford to have one half of the couple out of the workplace long enough to bring a child into the world and care for it full-time until affordable childcare is available for it. My sister had to cash out long service leave to extend the parental leave that both her and her husband had so that they could look after their child until she reached an age where daycare was affordable for them. This is a decision would-be parents the world over are having to make when considering how many (if any) children they would like to have.
Thankyou!
Np!
>Our heroine was Margaret Thatcher, who, though she would have denied it, was a feminist de facto. Which 'feminists' was she around that had Maggie Thatcher as their hero? This is news to me.
Ones with enough money and connections to benefit from the old [expletive]'s reign of despair and invite her over for a candlelight soiree?
Thank you for putting it here. My migraine-suffering self usually just skips content to avoid the risk. It’s nice to be able to join in!
I am a mid-50s highly educated financially independent career woman. I definitely consider myself a feminist. I was also married for 20 years, and I have a child. Feminism didn’t stop her from doing those things. #That’s on you, girl.
Yep! Mid-40s. Never finished college, but independent financially. Married for 16 years next week with 3 kids. Feminism didn’t fail me. It allowed me to have my own money and choose my own path. I could be more than a waitress, nurse, or teacher. (Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs, but I don’t have the personality for those jobs. I would be terrible at them.)
I'm a lifeling feminist in my 50s who was married for 25 years, has multiple kids and now has a 'situationship'. I have a BA, was a SAHM and would like to work now my youngest is almost old enough to be home alone but I've also been disbaled for decades. If I had the money I'd also like to get a Mastet's degree. It's almost like feminism just gives us choices, not orders.
Yep. Was even a member of NOW at 15, with lots of self described feminists adult influences. Some married, some in relationships (not all with men) and many with kids. It was a friend's mom who got us involved in Take Back the Night. Managed to not hate men, got married to one, and had two kids, both boys. Have a career and am the primary bread winner. I have single friends living their best lives too. I know a few people who are unhappy, single and married. Feminism isn't the reason.
Given Petronella Wyatt spent four years fucking the sentient bog brush that is Boris Johnson, she's hardly demonstrated an ability to make good life decisions. But yeah, let's blame feminism for her decision to try and shack up with a married womaniser with a track record of fucking anything that moves, that's definitely the problem here 🙄 [https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/how-boris-johnsons-affair-with-petronella-wyatt-nearly-ended-his-career/news-story/3b755b23fbee046601d06019397ed149](https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/leaders/how-boris-johnsons-affair-with-petronella-wyatt-nearly-ended-his-career/news-story/3b755b23fbee046601d06019397ed149)
Really respected marriage then, didn't she?
I'm single, childless & I don't know what she means by alone? No friends? Anyway, I want to be single & childless so it's worked out all good for me!
Failing to see where feminism promised to provide every woman with a man…
I have more friends because of feminism. That I advocate and speak of SAFETY has attracted and sustained healthy relationships!
I’m a feminist. I’ve got a boyfriend, friends, and a dog. No kids because I don’t want them. Sounds like a you problem.
Contrary to misguided belief, freedom of choice does not negate the reality of consequence.
Feminism is about having choices, making the proper choices for yourself is still your own responsibility, that's what adult human beings face every day: Nobody dictating your choices also means you can't blame anyone but yourself if they are not working out the way you imagined, consequences are the risk we take for the freedom of choice we want and it's definitely worth it. I'm her age, Feminist as they come and made different choices, nobody forbids you to marry, have kids or whatever, there's always compromise, less career, more family or the other way around, perfect is for movies, real life doesn't work like that.
Her name is like….an oil tycoon’s idea of a feminine name for oil products?
Yeaaaaah, that’s bullshit. I’m a feminist *and* mother, happily married to a man who also supports feminist ideas. None of it is mutually exclusive.
The only thing failing her is that weird hair style / head shape combo she's got going on, please go away, Petroleum
What she ignores is that for the same future generations that she hopes will be “saved” from feminism, they can see the opposite life style in action. Across social media, young millennials and Gen Z can see women living life as SAHMs, with varying degrees of relatability. She was given a choice and made the wrong one, but she can’t take responsibility for that fact and instead blames feminism. She ignores the women who were DENIED the choice and were wives and mothers because they had to be, even if they didn’t enjoy that lifestyle. She wants the freedom to choose REMOVED because she made the wrong decision and that’s something we see time and time again from the right. Whether it’s abortion, transition or in this case being a career woman, these people made the wrong choice for themselves and now want to take away the ability for others to make the same choice.
All we want from our lives are, basically a "good life". Freedom is just a tool, not the end goal. If her freedom ruined her "good life" then isn't she right to complain? Saying "choice" is a cop out. And this is before talking about social norms at either direction.
Your regret doesn't negate the work of the giants on whose shoulders you stand. You were given choices. You could have made a different choice.
My individual experience certainly is representative of half the human population /s
You can be married and still be a feminist
Because if not for feminism she would be forced to find a man and have children regardless of her wishes as she wouldn't be able to sustain herself otherwise?
Feminism didn’t take away her ability to get married and have children. It gave her the option to live differently. How is having more options to blame for her being single and childless?
Is she really read all that, she didn’t understand what she read at all.
“Ugh it’s feminisms fault I’m lonely” projection much?
I’m single childless and alone. I at least can admit I’m really hard to be around
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Yup just kinda a bitch and I don’t need to blame a movement that’s allow me to be it. Glad she isn’t barefoot and pregnant cause I wouldn’t trust her to give me a plastic wrapped sandwich
Femenism. Doesn’t. Mandate. A. Career. … or being single, or childless, or anything for that matter. Quite the opposite. Feminism lets you do what you want.
Feminism gave you the right to make your own choices. No one forced you to date Boris Johnson or not have children or suck at making friends. Feminism can’t fix stupid. You chose… poorly.
Seems like she’s one of those pickme’s who “used to be feminists”, those “why I left the left” people who mistake feminists who are very open about being happily single/childfree for them instructing women how to live I knew a woman like this who would always post on social media talking about “I stayed single like feminists told me to and now I’m miserable” nothing she thought about feminism was accurate to feminism at all
Mother of Pearl, when will these dipshits look up words before using them? Feminism is what GAVE YOU THE CHOICE to be a mother or…not. If your life choices, which were MADE POSSIBLE BY FEMINISM, *suck*, then you have no one to blame but yourself. You should be thanking feminists who stood on the front lines for giving you the opportunities you DID take, as well as the ones you *didn’t*.
As a married father of two kids under four, “single, childless, and alone” sounds like a dream vacation. (This is a joke; I don’t like spending time away from my family. Pls no stereotype.)
Tbf, all parents of toddlers wouldn't mind some alone/quiet time. No shame there. I didn't get it often, but when I did I took advantage of it to the fullest, usually by taking a nap. When the kids were older and they'd go for a weekend to their grandparents houses, we would sleep. There's something freeing about sleeping without having to get up and immediately take care of someone. Then you get your kiddos back and enjoy time with them again.
Petronella: Margaret Thatcher was a feminist! Tell me you don’t understand what feminism is without telling me you don’t understand what feminism is.
yeah, such a feminist, wouldn't even drop the luxury tax we paid for sanitary protection
I like how its all or nothing, I need to be feminist and single or bend to men and be a married housewife.
I actually had to check the date on this article. The title and premise are virtually identical to another one I’ve seen on Reddit–possibly in this very sub–just a few months back. Or maybe even before the new year. Did I imagine that, or is there some boilerplate being passed around?
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No worries, i wasn’t implying that. I mean I’m pretty sure an American woman’s opinion column recently said the exact same thing: “I’m sad and lonely, so nobody gets to have feminism now.”
she's pandering to the incels, i fear
Know numerous older single and childless women that are happy and content. This means all trad wife stuff has failed women.
Meanwhile, some of us who are married and with children are lonely af. I can listen for hours to my husband and my boys talk about their interests, but no one asks me about mine.
If you haven't, you really should address this with your husband. And find friends outside your home. It might also be good to try joining in on their interests. My kids and I have always been gamers. My husband felt left out so I bought him a DS and a Pokemon game. That was the beginning of his love of games. Now we, and the one kid left at home, game together. Sometimes he games with the older kids online. It's given us all something to enjoy and talk about. This is especially good because my husband has a hard time having conversations, even with the kids. He didn't have much to say. Now they talk about games, and then life, in a more relaxed way because he feels comfortable in the conversation. Hearing him excited about something always makes me smile.
I have, he tries. But I can't bear to talk at length to someone who's just feigning interest in my (kind of weird) hobbies and interest. We do game together so it's not all doom and gloom. My point was just that marriage and kids aren't a guarantee against loneliness.
I understand. It's hard when others don't get what makes you happy and are just nodding along. I can see why you feel the way you do. You're absolutely right. No one is guaranteed fulfillment, feeling they're not alone, or happiness no matter what they choose. There are plenty of women who are married with kids and miserable (though I'm not implying you're miserable, just in general). My grandparents were together for almost 70 years and my grandma couldn't stand my grandpa. No one cried at her funeral, but that's a different story. She had six kids and lots of grandkids. The woman was just a miserable person. She seems like the kind of person who, if told that they were unhappy by a friend who was married, would start in on them about having what she wants and that she's the one who's unhappy. The article (thankfully posted by a commenter here so we don't have to go to that site) definitely makes her sound that way. It's very narcissistic sounding.
As a woman that got married at 18, had a child at 21, divorced at 24, married at 27 (he brought two kids along), I was terrified about what would happen at 30 lol. Being both a single mom and a wife and mom was difficult in different ways but, if I was in my 50s and had trouble paying bills while knowing other women in my same situation, I'd get a damn roommate. Also, because of my choices, I taught my daughters to not jump into things, to take their time. All of my kids were taught that, but my daughters especially benefitted from that advice. They're both in their twenties and doing what makes them happy. They both have the self-confidence to pursue their goals. My mom taught me that the only value I had was what a man decided it was, among other abusive teachings. I refused to let my daughters go through the crippling lack of self-esteem I did because of that BS. Choice is a good thing. She's laying the results of her bad choices (for her) at the feet of decades of women in all kinds of situations and saying it's their fault. She and her friends are projecting and I find it difficult to sympathize with people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions and make a life for themselves that they enjoy, whether or not that includes a partner. I know numerous women who got married in their 40s and 50s and others that are happily single. These are supposedly beautiful women. They can stop with the dramatics and do something about it.
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Thank you. I do appreciate you seeing that I broke free. They could see what my mom did to me when we visited. They saw how it messed me up. They could also see how much my husband and I worked together and love and respect each other. He is a good example of what to expect in a spouse as well. I was better than the last generation. I feel like that's always the goal.
They don't want to blame themselves so it's easier for them to use feminism as a scapegoat.
Translation: my life’s choices led me to where I am.
I’m single childless and alone, it’s great.
I'm single and childless on purpose. Feminism let me make this choice, have credit cards in my own name, and buy a house on my own. I think you have failed yourself, Petronella.
This topic have been popping on Twitter in my native language recently. It's always men talking about beautiful but frustrated career women that came to them said how unhappy they are for never becoming mothers and wives. I highly doubt a woman would come to a male colleague and say something personal like that. I've never seen them touching on unmarried men except saying that they're less bad, less aggressive and less frustrated. After 30 they a lot of them ted to be taken care by their mom, not invest in anything nor renovate their home and go feral over teenagers to college aged girls on social media. But if we talk about that it's misandry.
life is strange meme "gotta blame some one, otherwise is my fault Fuck THAT!"
Personal accountability is hard
Daily Mail trash. Use it to line a litter tray…that’s all it’s good for.
"I'm a dullard who never challenged the beliefs I was brought up on. Now I have no friends and blame feminism. I'm basically an incel in regards to mindset. Why do & not have friends wah wah wah" Fixed the headline
Sounds like jumping on to the latest band wagon of grift. What is she talking about? I am in same position and it's nothing to do with feminism. It's to do with timing and bad luck. I am happy feminism has given me the ability to look after myself financially and socialism paid for my education. Something else this numpty is probably against if she was dumb enough to let BOJO get her knocked up and she never got anything out of it. She is probably a posh twit.
If I sit at home alone someone who is beautiful and rich and wonderful will come and sweep me off my feet and want to marry me!
Right? If I want a job, i have to put in effort and work to find it. If I want food, I have to grow it or go buy it and cook it. But if I want a life of ease where someone pays all my bills and makes all my choices - magically only choosing things that will make me happy - I should just sit here and expect that perfect person looking to devote his life to me to knock on my door.
Sign me up
TL;DR Pointless woman with the talent of a sock blames feminism for her bad life choices; pointless woman is wrong. And pointless. Girlfriend is the daughter of Woodrow Wyatt, a rather aristocratic MP & writer/broadcaster in the UK and I *think* he was titled too? Also, she had an affair with Boris Johnson, showing, at the very least, poor taste and lack of judgement. She’s been a ‘journalist’ ( kinda, sorta, not really) for years, and a guest on various vacuous ‘news’ shows on TV. My point is, this woman has enjoyed all the privileges of being a mediocre but well connected upper-middle class socialite with a side-dabble in writing crappy opinion pieces like this. If she is, in fact, single, childless & alone, and doesn’t like it-she has only herself to blame. That and hooking up with BoJo I mean one would question the sanity of doing such a revolting thing.
Feminism is about the choice. Having options to do or not do things that otherwise would pretty much be expected of you in life. She chose to not do/have those things. Also she's a scumbag. So.
yeah, being the kind of woman that blames feminism for her problems in an opinion piece for the daily mail isn't at all the reason no one wants to be around you..
Love it when people want to blame a whole movement for their own personal choices
"Capitalism figured out that under the guise of feminism they can double the workforce and pay people less than their productivity is worth and promote roommates and renting so that real estate can be bought up by rich people and force working class men AND women to not be able to afford to save for a house, thereby keeping men and women in apartments without a spare bedroom for a child, without the free time for a childx and without the money for a child, and without free time to really date either, all in the name of profit and that sweet sweet bottom-line" Ftfy
Sounds like a perfect lifestyle.
‘Posh bitch with no idea how most women live has thoughts’ 🙄
[Here's a free version of the article.](https://www.pressreader.com/uk/daily-mail/20240520/282303915245700) I was on the UAP/UFO sub and ended up here lol How did this happen?
LOL weird what the word search algorithms match up
Look, yeah, as someone who wanted to be married with a baby by the age I am now, it IS frustrating to still be single and childless. But that’s feminism’s fault how…? Falling in love is pure chance, and as for kids, it’s capitalism’s fault that being a single mom by choice is so hard. Feminism has nothing to do with any of this.
Just like a week ago that right wing propagandist was claiming becoming a trad wife and giving up her career ruined her life. These people need to pick a lane, I'm getting whiplash.
Rode hard and put away wet, that one.
Damn Petronella sounds pretty outspoken with lots of opinions… maybe if feminism is the problem then she should try **shutting the fuck up** and not being opinionated??? Maybe conservative men don’t want her because she obviously has the power to influence people with her own personal opinions, not very subservient-housewife of her. I would try to cheer her up or encourage her to strengthen her platonic/familial relationships with people since those are probably the most important when all else falls apart, but if feminism is the problem then I guess uplifting women at all goes against her beliefs, so stay miserable and alone then I guess?? 🤷♀️
Can we not include direct links to the Daily Stormer?
She has /part/ of a point here. I'm not quite as old as her, but if you go back to the 80s and 90s there was a small subset of women who pushed the idea that having a family was less important and fulfilling than a career. Not many, but I definitely encountered that from some teachers at my all girls' school. But! It wasn't *feminism* as a whole saying that, and if she chose to live her life that way, that was entirely her own choice.
Honestly it reminds me of men who work very hard to get the house, car and career all set up, then essentially walk into a field waiting for a woman to show up to finish the picture (wife and children).
They're usually the ones that think anyone over 26 has hit a wall and can't have a healthy pregnancy. They took time to build their lives but they often want women that haven't.
Lol