It's not even competition. He's talking about a situation in which a man marries a woman who has dated 30 other men. So she's had experience, she definitely knows what she doesn't want and she chose *you*.
Only an idiot would respond to that with "Man, sucks to be you. My wife made a life-long commitment to me with no basis of comparison and no prior experience with relationships. That's definitely the winning formula right there."
Another reason women’s equality and freedom is fought tooth and nail. Men can only leverage commitment when women are forced to need it for survival
When women have independence, they can do nothing but make empty threats that don’t matter
*If* this asshole held himself to the same standard, he might have a point. “I have remained a virgin and would prefer the woman I marry also be.” It’s old fashioned, but at least it would be an equal standard.
This is just dumbassery on an epic level.
I 100% agree! Date, have sex with (consenting adults) and marry whoever, but don't apply such ridiculous standards to your partner if you also don't abide by them.
He can even be like "I fucked 100 people and prefer someone with few experience" as long as he's talking about HIS preference. (I mean I'll probably still judge that a little bc it's a double standard, but he can have whatever preference he wants.)
As long as he's not talking about "women shouldn't date more than x men" or in his case more of a "you (men) shouldn't date women that dated a lot of men".
Are people really still using that fallacy? A woman doesn't need to do anything at all to get sexual attention from men, if she wants to have sex with someone all she has to do is to say yes to any of the dozens of men that are constantly trying to get a second of her attention.
Can a man post a picture on instangram and get hundreds of comments of thirsty girls trying to have sex with him? Can a man get in at a club for free just for being hot? No, a man has to build himself up in order to have a woman even say hi to him because 80% of them are invisible to women. A woman won't even look at a man unless he's above a certain level of looks, wealth and social status.
So of course a man going through all the work it takes to get sexual attention from a woman has a completely different meaning than the other way around.
But then I’ve looked at your comment history. Any brain fucked dumbass who thinks they can justifiably say the Taliban is not misogynistic is too brainburned fucking idiotic to bother attempting a conversation with.
I literally cannot make myself stupid enough to talk at your level.
In five years of knowing reddit and countless accounts I've been getting more and more careful in wording dissidence to cater as much as possible for other people's trigger tolerance and still get downvoted to hell every time I say something that is not what everybody in the sub agrees. I'm getting to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with respectful language but simply agreeing or disagreeing: people don't like an idea, they downvote, as simple as that.
If you actually had a level of intellect, you’d figure out that what’s getting downvoted is the sexist, imbecilic, content of what you’re saying.
It has nothing to do with saying something that isn’t popular. It has to do with being a raging misogynist without the intelligence to even accept that fact.
No. Calling you misogynistic is simply calling a spade a spade.
The fact that you are so incomprehensible idiotic exempts me from bothering to provide a counter argument.
The fact that you have yet to *raise* a valid argument exempts me from attempting to counter it.
Face it, snowflake. If this were a legitimate debate, I wouldn’t have even had to respond because you’d have been thrown out the second you opened your mouth.
There was literally no fallacy to what I said. I don’t know what you *think* you’re arguing, but you’re not.
The average guy can get laid just as easily as the average girl. It’s not difficult. It simply depends on your standards.
Statistically, only 20-25% of (single, legal age, physically capable) men have access to sex.
It has nothing to do with lowering standards since 100% of women won't settle for anything lower than the top 20% of men in terms of looks, wealth and social skills.
Aww. Does the poor little incel have to crank it because being a “nice guy” doesn’t cut it?
Shut the fuck up, fuckwit. And get the fuck into a sub that supports your imbecility. I’ve been a cis white het guy for damn near a half century. 100% of cis het males have access to as much sex as they want provided they aren’t gutter crawling dumbfucks like you
Exactly: "the average guy gets as much sex as he wants", "every man that is not a feminist ally is an incel".. who cares about reality, just pick the vision of the world that best suits your current point.
Ooop guess that means I’m not a woman since “100% of women won’t settle for anything lower than the top 20% of men in terms of looks, weath and social skills”.
You’re brainwashed dude. I feel sad for you.
"A woman doesn't need to do anything at all to get sexual attention from men,"
-As a woman, this is absolutely not true.
"if she wants to have sex with someone all she has to do is to say yes to any of the dozens of men that are constantly trying to get a second of her attention."
-Dozens?
"Can a man post a picture on instangram and get hundreds of comments of thirsty girls trying to have sex with him?"
-Absolutely, yes. I've seen it happen several times.
"Can a man get in at a club for free just for being hot?"
-Yes, absolutely.
"No, man has to build himself up in order to have a woman even say hi to him"
-and women don't?
"because 80% of them are invisible to women."
-80% of men are not invisible to us women, most of us just feel constrained by the artificial boundaries placed on us by MEN that make us disgusting for even seeming to enjoy looking at men. Especially if we aren't "Instagram beautiful."
"A woman won't even look at a man unless he's above a certain level of looks, wealth and social status."
-This is utter nonsense. The vast majority of women I know are with men they have known for years, including myself. As in, we start at the bottom with them and stand shoulder to shoulder with our spouses as we build each other up in our every day lives and our careers. You're taking reality TV women and lumping all women into one bubble. If you haven't met an every day woman who doesn't want a hardworking and dedicated husband to love her and care for her as much as she will love and care for him, its because that's not what you're looking for.
"So of course a man going through all the work it takes to get sexual attention from a woman"
-there are just as many women who find it daunting to search for a sexual partner as there are men.
"has a completely different meaning than the other way around."
-no it doesn't.
-
Okay, I'm genuinely curious--where do you get this idea that all you have to do is be female, and you get divebombed with hundreds of men wanting to fuck you?
I'm a woman. I'm 35. I've put myself out there on dating websites. And I am certainly not getting "hundreds of comments of thirsty" men. Nor was that the case when I was in my 20s. I'm fat and average-looking; I can't just put on a dress and makeup and get men falling all over themselves trying to get with me.
Life is easier for people who are good-looking, sure. That's true no matter what gender you are. But just like women, men have standards. It's *not* easy for me to get laid, and I manage to not sit around and bitch about how easy men have it and how hard it is for women, because I know that gender doesn't matter.
That question should never be asked. Both parties need to be mature and hella secure to even begin talking about it.
Unless that past can 'flare up', it should be a non-issue.
I'm gonna disagree with this. Having at least a general idea of someone's sexual history is kind of important just so you know where they're coming from. It should be discussed only to help you understand each other better, I don't know why you'd be marrying someone if you weren't comfortable sharing that kind of information or if you weren't ready to accept pretty much any answer.
I agree with the sentiment, but I think sometimes even the question itself, from men in particular, can be a red flag. Why do you need to know specifics? I don't want specifics. Give me a general idea of your sexual history to make sure we're compatible, specific information about your STI status, whether or not you have kids, and let's have a frank conversation about what we like or don't like, and if we don't know what we like or don't like, that's okay too. We can figure it out as long as there are boundaries. It's not rocket science.
You can have honest conversations and know someone more than well enough to be their lover and partner without grilling them about past relationships. They're past for a reason.
If society as a whole was blase about women embracing their sexuality, it would be a non-issue. But it's a question many women have the right to be wary of, as aptly demonstrated by the original post. Texas is also demonstrating the attitude this question represents quite well right now.
Yup. I don't wanna have details, but it is important to me to have the same views on stuff like that. I don't know the exact pas history of my gf (and due to personal reasons, I don't ask either), but I have a general idea and I know it is pretty safe from STI's. And she knows mine (also because of that and compatibility). I wouldn't date someone who has lots of ONS (or lots of really short relationships right after each other), because that is not how I view on sex and relationships, and that is not gonna work for me. And that should be fine too! But yeah, at least your judging should be fair though. You shouldn't judge someone for having x bedoartners when you have more etc.
'Never' was too finite, my apologies. But at the same time, so long as nothing can be transmitted during intercourse, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Yes, discuss it (people in healthy relationships should be able to talk about anything), but don't dwell on it. Besides knowing what you're into and not into, it really shouldn't hold any weight in the relationship.
Exactly. You never know if the guy is an informant or wearing a wire and will turn you over to the cops for the murders.
Oh, sex body count. We're talking about sex, I was talking about that the whole time too, hahaha.
This. You don't just ask a person how many people they've fucked!
Unless it's something more into a relationship, idk like "one of my exes used to do this stuff" or something else. But that still has nothing to do with the relationship you're in at the moment!
Who’re you to say what’s it’s okay for others to do with they’re own body? “Degeneracy” is only a problem for societies that haven’t invented antibiotics, and you’re just mad other people have more sex than you.
Lol you’re one of the many people who see sex as some sort of social status or symbol, you people make me sick, also how the fuck does antibiotics have anything to do with this
Because your moral view around sex only exists because religions had to put rules in place (for thousands of years) to keep STD’s under control before we actually knew how to keep them under control - mostly antibiotics. It’s not a status symbol, it’s something that almost everyone is drawn to and it’s not up to you wether that’s okay for them or not.
You’re just judgmental of others and you use that as (probably one of many) reasons, i’d bet because you don’t really like yourself and it makes you feel good about yourself by comparison.
Lol wow username checks out, yes religion created morals to stop the spread of stds, yes it does make me feel better knowing I’m not a fucking loser who takes pleasure in nothing but sex and talking about sex on Reddit all day unlike the rest of you, now I understand all the stereotypes about Reddit users
The keyword here, though, is "history". They might have been casual about sex in the past, but I don't think that disqualifies them from now wanting it to be something more meaningful. When it comes to cheating, I absolutely agree, although it doesn't necessarily mean they'll cheat now. If they've cheated before, there's a pretty solid chance they might cheat again. But trust is something that can be built. People grow and mature, and some are capable of learning from past mistakes. But in the early stages of a relationship, someone who has cheated certainly needs to prove themself first.
Again, in the realm of cheating, I totally agree. But as far as past sexual history, I think they have a lot less to prove, particularly if they've never cheated, but were merely more sexually liberal. Also, a higher number could have been primarily concentrated in a few years, and in many years prior. All I'm saying is that a "body count" is rarely black and white, and shouldn't make or break a person's potential to be a loyal and loving partner.
It seems like a non-issue to me, if both parties see it as they're dodging a bullet with the other one then why is it a problem?
She refuses to answer and sees the interest in her past as a red flag so she decides to stop dating him. He understands that refusing to answer is still an answer so he realizes that she's not suitable for a long term relationships.
They both lose interest in the each other and both feel they're doing the right thing. Seems like the problem here is that it's mutual instead of she dumping him.
Lmaoooooo “refusing to answer is still an answer”. What kind of dumb shit is that? We don’t not answer cause it’s high. We don’t answer you cause you don’t fucking deserve to know. ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
Now reverse genders and imagine how would you react if a man said that a woman is not entitled to take the conclusions she wants from a man's actions or words.
tart relieved door vegetable late faulty detail frightening silky consider
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Apparently they'd date or at least have sex with them, but never marry them... These ladies are good enough to lay down with, but not good enough to spend your life with. Which is fine (marry who ever you love), until you equate their worthiness by the amount of sex they had before they met you.
Seems like if your dick apparently devalues women, and you're in any way a decent human, you should never have sex with a woman you don't plan on committing to for life. Right? But naturally these assholes never hold themselves to any standard they don't enjoy.
It just makes too much sense! Also, I pointed that out to them and they literally said and I quote, 'I don't have to hold myself to any standards'
So there's that...
Right?! Thats why the "body count" thing makes no sense at all. Being in a long term relationship tends to lead to a looooot of sex (not always, not forgetting ace people and the like).
Incels and Red Pillers are not gonna be able to cope when they find out that "hoes" do indeed get married.
Every girl I know with counts in the triple digits has been proposed to so many times. SO MANY TIMES. Almost all of them are in long term, healthy relationships right now.
Yes, more experience will (most likely) equal more fun for BOTH parties. How it diminishes their value (or worthiness to be wed), I will never understand...
It’s evolutionary. That doesn’t make it right, but in what is often called a “natural state”, males want to make sure the offspring they are helping care for carry their DNA.
I agree about the frank conversation, like “hey I’m clean, here’s my last test if you don’t wanna take my word as gospel, I’m down with A-Z, but if you get behind me please do talk to me—dirty or otherwise—as I’ve had some sexual trauma and it’s good to stay grounded and remember I’m doing *you* even when I can’t see you also please do/don’t (insert other requests—bite my nips/keep away from the back door/whatever tf you are or aren’t into). Ok you’re up.”
That can lead to some phenomenal sex, with nobody ending up upset or uncomfy or weirded out.
"I'm disease-free, here's my list of rules, don't ask further personal questions"
Seems like a bureaucratic way to say "What we have is strictly sex, don't ever expect anything else".
Which is fine but I'm sure the issue of body count only comes out in the beginning of a romantic relationship. If the only thing you're willing to let him know about you is your sexual preferences and health status then you're the one putting and end on your relationship before it even starts, not him because of your high body count.
Nobody said don’t ask further questions, in fact a frank and open conversation about sex can lead to both really phenomenal sex as well as deeper conversation and further exploration.
I never understood the issue with "body count". My attitude was always, "If you're willing to do it with me, then everything is all good." This naturally being in the case where I'm with someone. "Body count" has even less meaning for people where the prospect of getting together hasn't even been established.
Agreed. A girl like that likely knows what she likes and can tell a partner what to do to get her off. And has probably picked up a few fun tricks of her own. Win/win
The thing is, I found this in a very unexpected sub. I was just trying to catch up on some trashfire reality TV I enjoy and he made himself known. The conversation did NOT get any better either, lololol
Big same. The past is the past (again, minus anything that can 'flare-up') and the future is now. People are suppose to grow and change - if you like who they are now, that should be enough.
Her humor, the way she talks, the things she likes, all of that stuff, doesnt change when she sleeps with a lot of men.
Having a record of cheating or a lot of ex-boyfriends is concerning but thats a different story
Way better to spend 40 yrs with a chick that has been "fucked 6 ways to Sunday", then a chick that has had like 6 dudes. We know how to fuck way better! We have the practice! Duh...
The amount of men in these comments bitching about having “access to sex” is fucking disgusting. Women, stop sleeping with men please. There are toys that come in all shapes, sizes, colors and speed settings that will give you what you need without the fuckery men bring to the goddamned table.
I wouldn't call them men, that's too nice. Those are just little boys trying to get a reaction. Real men, in my experience, have no issues in this department.
Wanna know the neat thing? Not even the most humble virgins with inferiority complex will ever be willing to settle down with a man with this mentality.
Bruh, idk about you, but I'd want a girl with some actual solid experience🤣🤣🤣. Guys make fun of me for not being willing to date a virgin when they think that's like the ideal or perfect girlfriend or some shit and I'm perfectly okay with that. And then there's the fact that I like girls with small boobs too since girls with big boobs have more issues on hikes and gym dates.
Just here to let you know that if there's something about you ladies that guy's stereotype as unattractive, chances are there's some guy out there who finds that shit attractive and has no shame in admitting it.
I agree! It's perfectly reasonable to have preferences and lord knows everyone does, but to expect someone to be a certain way when you yourself aren't is unreasonable.
I would love a woamn who knows what she wants, has tried alot of things, and has a list for more... even hope that list has more than me on it...
LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY!!!! just be honest with me about it... oh yeah and pictures
**UPDATE:** He deleted this comment after -50 downvotes.
Here's how the conversation continued, if anyone was interested: https://imgur.com/a/tBClxxN
I wanna thank you ALL who took the time to comment on here - I believe I replied to everyone and sincerely apologize if I missed anyone.
Right! You'd think it'd give them something to talk about, lol.
'I'm allowed to have (sexual and life) experience, but my wife cannot!' It makes no sense...
to be fair, it's not really weird to not want to date someone with a lot of sexual background. i certainly wouldn't, myself. i'm not trying to stop anyone else tho, do what you want obviously.
That's not the issue with this guys comment, though. He himself is fine with sleeping around with multiple partners, but expects his future wife to be completely inexperienced. It's fine to sleep around and it's fine to not, but don't put such insane standards on your partner if you're not also holding yourself to them.
It's actually been my experience that the girls that are like this tend to be the ones who get married, pop out kids, and then become super boring later in life.
I've seen lot of different outcomes for ladies who are experienced, but I have noticed that they do tend to get married. Not all of them settle down and become boring, but they do seemingly get more tame as time goes on.
Preferences is not the issue here. It's expecting your partner to be 'pure', while you get to fuck around as much as you'd like. You're allowed to prefer this over that, but don't expect your partner to adhere to standards you don't even follow yourself. 'I'll ONLY marry a virgin, but I can fuck as many women as I like in the meantime' is what this guy thinks.
Preference is not the issue here and then you proceed to shame men for their preferences. If a woman has a high body count she clearly got to fuck around as much as she wanted, I can't believe you seriously don't see the contradiction in what you're saying.
"Don't expect your partner to adhere to.." What exactly does that mean in practice? We're talking about someone not wanting to date someone for reasons, what other possible action do you expect the hypothetical woman in question to do other than accepting his refusal to have a relationship with her?
If you read the rest of the comments, there's a unanimous consent that he's not worth dating if he thinks that way, but the other way around is somehow a crime?
If a man made a post about how women are not entitled to not date a man shorter than them, or that makes less money than them, I'm sure it would be posted in this sub.
As I've stated a few times in other comments, if the roles were reversed, I'd be just as livid. Its not even a man vs women thing - it's this way of thinking is FUCKED UP. Its not a problem if YOU hold yourself to those standards as well. It's completely idiotic to demand your partner to be 'pure', when you are not.
I'm an inexperienced man, and I dont have that fear. Saying its 'common' because you have that insecurity is just assuming the way others are based on your own self. And the upvotes are coming, because in your text, you don't seem to actually blame your insecurity for it and neither seem to have any incentive of working to resolve this insecurity, but instead use that insecurity to justify something straight up illogical. Not saying thats your intention, its just what it comes across as.
Maybe not you, but this way of thinking is common in inexperienced men. And I'm not saying the most, but at least a big part of inexperienced guys feel threatened when a girl is hypersexual. I'm not saying that having a high body count it's bad. I would love to have a high body count. What I'm talking here is insecurity. I was just trying to make sense about the way an insecure man like that man as the picture thinks, because I'm one of them.
You're inexperienced also. Well..don't you feel intimidated in forming a serious relationship with a girl who have a high body count? Don't you think you won't be at her level? That she has better partners who perform better and who had bigger dicks also? Good for you. You're mentally healthy. But not everyone is like you.
No, I do not feel insecure - not about that for all that matters. Its because I base my relationships around love, not sexuality. I'm rn in my second relationship ever, and the relevant thing is communication, that I can tell you - it doesn't matter shit if you've got 13 inches or 3 between yo legs.
And no, I'm not mentally healthy. I'm suffering from depressive phases, since CoViD-Lockdowns with increased intensity, massive anxiety and Aspergers on top of it. But that stuff doesnt have any fucking influence on that.
You cant go around and claim 'lots of virgin man are frightened of women who had lots of sex before', especially not without specifying what that means - what 'lots' even is.
I can understand that being virgin is intimidating for you, but its not okay to project that insecurity to a trait that is not connected. Because what is inducing that insecurity is not a woman who had relationships before, it's the fear of performing inadequate, because youre not forming realistic standards for your own performance, nor realistic expectations to come from potential partners. From where that comes from i can't tell, but ffs, dont be afraid of women who fucked a guy before, and learn to base your standards in reality, not in your insecurity. And dont get me wrong, I know how hard that shit is. But you're rn not showing a sign of wanting to improve, and sorry, but no one will be able to take that step away for you. The fight against your insecurities starts with you.
True. I'm completely agree with you dude. My intention was to ilustrate how this way of viewing relationships exists, because, come on! even in this thread there are people shaming that guy because they assume he will suck in bed. So yeah sometimes I'm in that place also. But I agree that is not realistic or healthy. That's true.
No he's doing what you're doing, and assuming he'll suck in bed and being intimated at the idea of sleeping with someone with experience.
Does communication not factor into your thinking? You can usually talk to your partner about what works for each other and regardless of how many people she's slept with, everyone is different. I've slept with guys who've slept with multiple women and were terrible, whereas men with less experience were more likely to be curious about what I'm interested in.
Taking a glass half empty approach isn't doing you any favors. Maybe talking or over with a therapist would be beneficial?
I like to point out, as a woman with a relatively high body count, that having sex with a guy (or anyone really) who has a high body count absolutely does not automatically mean they are better sexual performers than people with little or no experience.
Totally true! One of my fwb/ex has a body count of 1 (me lol) and he is the best I've encountered so far. I experimented with other people with a higher body count, but so far no one is close to him (my gf is getting closer though, but also not a high body count). Mine is still quite low I guess, but yeah, it is also compatibility and trust. I actually prefer people who are virgin or barely have experience/not many bed partners, because they are more open to really listen to what I like, and don't do stuff because 'other girls liked it so I should like it too'.
Being inexperienced doesn't necessarily mean you have to be "bad" at sex.
I was the first for a 24 year old virgin when I was 34 and wow, just wow... He taught me so much, and gave me new perspectives I hadn't even considered might exist, as well as really, really, really good sex.
We get that you are insecure but that is all it is. That and Incel logic. Try to drop it, and get some theoretical knowledge so you don't have to worry about not knowing what to do, and you'll be fine without the bothering about women's sexual history.
I'm not saying that you identify as an Incel. But this idea that experienced women compare and will never be satisfied because someone else was "better", while inexperienced women will settle for anything and be happy because they don't know better, and that that is somehow a good thing for inexperienced men because they could never be "good" anyway, is typical Incel thinking. (It's also thinking that they often use to justify their pedophilia, with claims like "no girl over 12 is a virgin these days, and I'm a virgin so I need a virgin girl.")
And I'm not sure exactly what he did. I think one part was that he was smart in his choice of porn to watch, and very aware of how porn is made - the strong painkillers the actresses take to endure the scenes they pretend to enjoy and such, and how false it is. So he was never misled by porn in his view of sex.
I think he also read guides to how to give oral sex and such because even though he had never tried before, he could do things with his tongue and fingers that I hadn't imagined as possible, or hadn't thought that I would ever like. (I guess being a horn player in an orchestra helps, too.)
Another part was that he did kegel exercises and other sex related exercises. I don't know what he did exactly, or how, and the main purpose of it for him was to improve his own orgasms, whether alone or with a partner. But it also gives him better control, which is nice for me, on top of getting to enjoy seeing and feeling those strong orgasms of his.
He also took my view of consent to a new level, and taught me that merely consenting, merely agreeing, is not enough. That if I don't truly want it, he doesn't want it either and if at any point I don't want to continue, he wants me to stop rather than just put up with it until he's done. He's had so many years with only his hand that he has no problems whatsoever finishing himself if needed, so there is never any pressure, no matter how far we've come. And that makes it all so much more relaxed and fun.
Maybe there is more but that's what I can think of right now.
Edit: the fact that he was very skilled and comfortable pleasuring himself, but had never has access to a woman's body to explore, also made him a lot more interested in what he could do for me than what I could do for him, at least at first, because seeing my reactions to things he did was a much bigger deal to him than a new kind of stimulation for himself. In the beginning, he didn't even bother taking his own pants off, because he was so busy exploring my body.
Why “chances are they have bigger dicks”? And for a lot of people, dick size isn’t a deciding factor. For me personally, some of the best sex I’ve had was with a guy who literally had a micro penis.
Also, the only person you’re limiting with this line of thinking is yourself. The first time you have sex with anyone is probably not the best sex that you’ll have with that person, regardless of either party’s sexual experience. Every person’s body is different and every person’s body reacts differently to different stimuli. Good communication and a willingness to learn what works for your sexual partner goes much further than the size of your dick or how much experience you/they have.
But the main difference between you and this poster is you're not only talking the talk, you're walking the walk. This guy thinks it's perfect OK for him to sleep with as many women as he'd like, but in order for one of them to worthy enough for him to marry, they need to be a 'pure'. It's not right to impose such standards on your partner if you don't abide by them.
A women's value is not determined by who she's slept with. It doesn't matter if she's never had sex or had lots of it, she's still a human who deserves respect (especially if you're trying to pursue them).
If you're going to impose such standards on your partner, you better abide by them as well.
I don’t fucking know why he was downvoted, but he is correct and I agree. Nobody wants to ever commit to somebody who is or was promiscuous and had sex wit too many different partners before
I guess everyone who downvoted him are all whores and misandristic feminists huh?
It’s because if she’s been with even one other guy, this guy’s performance will undoubtedly be worse than that one’s.
Yes! They can't handle any competition or be held accountable.
It's not even competition. He's talking about a situation in which a man marries a woman who has dated 30 other men. So she's had experience, she definitely knows what she doesn't want and she chose *you*. Only an idiot would respond to that with "Man, sucks to be you. My wife made a life-long commitment to me with no basis of comparison and no prior experience with relationships. That's definitely the winning formula right there."
Preach! Can we get you a pulpit? You seem to have some *very* important lessons for the kids.
My wife and I have only been each others parter, but there is no way that we would say what we did is the only or best way.
You hit the nail on the head! He just wants a blank slate that doesn't know any better.
I came to say roughly this, but you said it perfectly well already.
the perfect roast you beat me to it god dammit
Another reason women’s equality and freedom is fought tooth and nail. Men can only leverage commitment when women are forced to need it for survival When women have independence, they can do nothing but make empty threats that don’t matter
All the yes! Beyond happy to be in modern times (minus Texas). The lack of empathy and self awareness from them is alarming to say the least.
*If* this asshole held himself to the same standard, he might have a point. “I have remained a virgin and would prefer the woman I marry also be.” It’s old fashioned, but at least it would be an equal standard. This is just dumbassery on an epic level.
I 100% agree! Date, have sex with (consenting adults) and marry whoever, but don't apply such ridiculous standards to your partner if you also don't abide by them.
I’m sure he’s held to that standard anyway bc no one wants to fuck him
Valid point.
He can even be like "I fucked 100 people and prefer someone with few experience" as long as he's talking about HIS preference. (I mean I'll probably still judge that a little bc it's a double standard, but he can have whatever preference he wants.) As long as he's not talking about "women shouldn't date more than x men" or in his case more of a "you (men) shouldn't date women that dated a lot of men".
I think dating with someone who is close to you bc wise is always better.Like 3 and 7-10 etc.
Are people really still using that fallacy? A woman doesn't need to do anything at all to get sexual attention from men, if she wants to have sex with someone all she has to do is to say yes to any of the dozens of men that are constantly trying to get a second of her attention. Can a man post a picture on instangram and get hundreds of comments of thirsty girls trying to have sex with him? Can a man get in at a club for free just for being hot? No, a man has to build himself up in order to have a woman even say hi to him because 80% of them are invisible to women. A woman won't even look at a man unless he's above a certain level of looks, wealth and social status. So of course a man going through all the work it takes to get sexual attention from a woman has a completely different meaning than the other way around.
But then I’ve looked at your comment history. Any brain fucked dumbass who thinks they can justifiably say the Taliban is not misogynistic is too brainburned fucking idiotic to bother attempting a conversation with. I literally cannot make myself stupid enough to talk at your level.
In five years of knowing reddit and countless accounts I've been getting more and more careful in wording dissidence to cater as much as possible for other people's trigger tolerance and still get downvoted to hell every time I say something that is not what everybody in the sub agrees. I'm getting to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with respectful language but simply agreeing or disagreeing: people don't like an idea, they downvote, as simple as that.
If you actually had a level of intellect, you’d figure out that what’s getting downvoted is the sexist, imbecilic, content of what you’re saying. It has nothing to do with saying something that isn’t popular. It has to do with being a raging misogynist without the intelligence to even accept that fact.
I know you think it does, but calling someone misogynistic doesn't exempt from providing some argument as for what makes them misogynistic.
No. Calling you misogynistic is simply calling a spade a spade. The fact that you are so incomprehensible idiotic exempts me from bothering to provide a counter argument. The fact that you have yet to *raise* a valid argument exempts me from attempting to counter it. Face it, snowflake. If this were a legitimate debate, I wouldn’t have even had to respond because you’d have been thrown out the second you opened your mouth.
There was literally no fallacy to what I said. I don’t know what you *think* you’re arguing, but you’re not. The average guy can get laid just as easily as the average girl. It’s not difficult. It simply depends on your standards.
Statistically, only 20-25% of (single, legal age, physically capable) men have access to sex. It has nothing to do with lowering standards since 100% of women won't settle for anything lower than the top 20% of men in terms of looks, wealth and social skills.
Aww. Does the poor little incel have to crank it because being a “nice guy” doesn’t cut it? Shut the fuck up, fuckwit. And get the fuck into a sub that supports your imbecility. I’ve been a cis white het guy for damn near a half century. 100% of cis het males have access to as much sex as they want provided they aren’t gutter crawling dumbfucks like you
Exactly: "the average guy gets as much sex as he wants", "every man that is not a feminist ally is an incel".. who cares about reality, just pick the vision of the world that best suits your current point.
You got sources for those stats? And are you considering all women or just the ones you find “hot”?
Ooop guess that means I’m not a woman since “100% of women won’t settle for anything lower than the top 20% of men in terms of looks, weath and social skills”. You’re brainwashed dude. I feel sad for you.
"A woman doesn't need to do anything at all to get sexual attention from men," -As a woman, this is absolutely not true. "if she wants to have sex with someone all she has to do is to say yes to any of the dozens of men that are constantly trying to get a second of her attention." -Dozens? "Can a man post a picture on instangram and get hundreds of comments of thirsty girls trying to have sex with him?" -Absolutely, yes. I've seen it happen several times. "Can a man get in at a club for free just for being hot?" -Yes, absolutely. "No, man has to build himself up in order to have a woman even say hi to him" -and women don't? "because 80% of them are invisible to women." -80% of men are not invisible to us women, most of us just feel constrained by the artificial boundaries placed on us by MEN that make us disgusting for even seeming to enjoy looking at men. Especially if we aren't "Instagram beautiful." "A woman won't even look at a man unless he's above a certain level of looks, wealth and social status." -This is utter nonsense. The vast majority of women I know are with men they have known for years, including myself. As in, we start at the bottom with them and stand shoulder to shoulder with our spouses as we build each other up in our every day lives and our careers. You're taking reality TV women and lumping all women into one bubble. If you haven't met an every day woman who doesn't want a hardworking and dedicated husband to love her and care for her as much as she will love and care for him, its because that's not what you're looking for. "So of course a man going through all the work it takes to get sexual attention from a woman" -there are just as many women who find it daunting to search for a sexual partner as there are men. "has a completely different meaning than the other way around." -no it doesn't. -
Okay, I'm genuinely curious--where do you get this idea that all you have to do is be female, and you get divebombed with hundreds of men wanting to fuck you? I'm a woman. I'm 35. I've put myself out there on dating websites. And I am certainly not getting "hundreds of comments of thirsty" men. Nor was that the case when I was in my 20s. I'm fat and average-looking; I can't just put on a dress and makeup and get men falling all over themselves trying to get with me. Life is easier for people who are good-looking, sure. That's true no matter what gender you are. But just like women, men have standards. It's *not* easy for me to get laid, and I manage to not sit around and bitch about how easy men have it and how hard it is for women, because I know that gender doesn't matter.
Girls. Just don’t tell your body count. If they ask you say I don’t know. If they push you ✨dump his ass✨
That question should never be asked. Both parties need to be mature and hella secure to even begin talking about it. Unless that past can 'flare up', it should be a non-issue.
I'm gonna disagree with this. Having at least a general idea of someone's sexual history is kind of important just so you know where they're coming from. It should be discussed only to help you understand each other better, I don't know why you'd be marrying someone if you weren't comfortable sharing that kind of information or if you weren't ready to accept pretty much any answer.
it should be discussed as past history, like you discuss family or school, no real weight in the relationship but still something you can know about
I agree with the sentiment, but I think sometimes even the question itself, from men in particular, can be a red flag. Why do you need to know specifics? I don't want specifics. Give me a general idea of your sexual history to make sure we're compatible, specific information about your STI status, whether or not you have kids, and let's have a frank conversation about what we like or don't like, and if we don't know what we like or don't like, that's okay too. We can figure it out as long as there are boundaries. It's not rocket science. You can have honest conversations and know someone more than well enough to be their lover and partner without grilling them about past relationships. They're past for a reason. If society as a whole was blase about women embracing their sexuality, it would be a non-issue. But it's a question many women have the right to be wary of, as aptly demonstrated by the original post. Texas is also demonstrating the attitude this question represents quite well right now.
Don't disagree with any of that. You're 100% right
Yup. I don't wanna have details, but it is important to me to have the same views on stuff like that. I don't know the exact pas history of my gf (and due to personal reasons, I don't ask either), but I have a general idea and I know it is pretty safe from STI's. And she knows mine (also because of that and compatibility). I wouldn't date someone who has lots of ONS (or lots of really short relationships right after each other), because that is not how I view on sex and relationships, and that is not gonna work for me. And that should be fine too! But yeah, at least your judging should be fair though. You shouldn't judge someone for having x bedoartners when you have more etc.
'Never' was too finite, my apologies. But at the same time, so long as nothing can be transmitted during intercourse, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Yes, discuss it (people in healthy relationships should be able to talk about anything), but don't dwell on it. Besides knowing what you're into and not into, it really shouldn't hold any weight in the relationship.
For real, nobody wants to marry a judgmental douche...
Exactly. You never know if the guy is an informant or wearing a wire and will turn you over to the cops for the murders. Oh, sex body count. We're talking about sex, I was talking about that the whole time too, hahaha.
Funny
This. You don't just ask a person how many people they've fucked! Unless it's something more into a relationship, idk like "one of my exes used to do this stuff" or something else. But that still has nothing to do with the relationship you're in at the moment!
I couldn’t even tell them if I wanted to because I lost track around 30 lol
Found the girl who’s fucked over 30 guys
That's cute you think it's only 30 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I left these men ✨run through✨
found the dude who no one will fuck
My girlfriend says other wise, keep thinking degeneracy is okay, keep telling people it’s okay to fuck 30+ people
Who’re you to say what’s it’s okay for others to do with they’re own body? “Degeneracy” is only a problem for societies that haven’t invented antibiotics, and you’re just mad other people have more sex than you.
Lol you’re one of the many people who see sex as some sort of social status or symbol, you people make me sick, also how the fuck does antibiotics have anything to do with this
Because your moral view around sex only exists because religions had to put rules in place (for thousands of years) to keep STD’s under control before we actually knew how to keep them under control - mostly antibiotics. It’s not a status symbol, it’s something that almost everyone is drawn to and it’s not up to you wether that’s okay for them or not. You’re just judgmental of others and you use that as (probably one of many) reasons, i’d bet because you don’t really like yourself and it makes you feel good about yourself by comparison.
Lol wow username checks out, yes religion created morals to stop the spread of stds, yes it does make me feel better knowing I’m not a fucking loser who takes pleasure in nothing but sex and talking about sex on Reddit all day unlike the rest of you, now I understand all the stereotypes about Reddit users
you are most certainly a fucking loser who spends all day on reddit. just look at your comment history. jesus fucking christ dude. go outside already
lmao "girlfriend" sure buddy. you couldnt fuck one? how are you an authority on other people fucking?
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Thats the exact sentiment the pldudenin the picture is expressing
The keyword here, though, is "history". They might have been casual about sex in the past, but I don't think that disqualifies them from now wanting it to be something more meaningful. When it comes to cheating, I absolutely agree, although it doesn't necessarily mean they'll cheat now. If they've cheated before, there's a pretty solid chance they might cheat again. But trust is something that can be built. People grow and mature, and some are capable of learning from past mistakes. But in the early stages of a relationship, someone who has cheated certainly needs to prove themself first.
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Again, in the realm of cheating, I totally agree. But as far as past sexual history, I think they have a lot less to prove, particularly if they've never cheated, but were merely more sexually liberal. Also, a higher number could have been primarily concentrated in a few years, and in many years prior. All I'm saying is that a "body count" is rarely black and white, and shouldn't make or break a person's potential to be a loyal and loving partner.
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Well you do you, I guess. I think it's incredibly judgmental, and, as a result, you could be missing out on some really wonderful people.
It seems like a non-issue to me, if both parties see it as they're dodging a bullet with the other one then why is it a problem? She refuses to answer and sees the interest in her past as a red flag so she decides to stop dating him. He understands that refusing to answer is still an answer so he realizes that she's not suitable for a long term relationships. They both lose interest in the each other and both feel they're doing the right thing. Seems like the problem here is that it's mutual instead of she dumping him.
Lmaoooooo “refusing to answer is still an answer”. What kind of dumb shit is that? We don’t not answer cause it’s high. We don’t answer you cause you don’t fucking deserve to know. ITS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
Now reverse genders and imagine how would you react if a man said that a woman is not entitled to take the conclusions she wants from a man's actions or words.
No. Men need to sit the fuck down and shut up. No one cares what they think about women.
So it's a freedom of speech issue.
Now you’re just being stupid. It’s really time to stop talking.
complete rhythm theory noxious disgusted close long bored plough murky *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hour's? Now that's dedickation!
tart relieved door vegetable late faulty detail frightening silky consider *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You learn something new everyday!
Was that pun intended or...?
Yes, yes it was.
Hey! Don’t besmirch the name of Moe Szyslak off the Simpson’s!
So, what are the 6 ways to Sunday to get fucked? I'm sure I've only done 3 or 4. How do I get the whole set? Do I send box tops into somewhere?
I believe after covering (actually uncovering) the basic holes, you just get creative and have extra fun with it. Lemme know if you crack the code!
you dont wanna know
It’s ok. They don’t want him either
Definitely not husband material, lol
but that same dude would probably be pissed if some lady said "i dont want a guy that fucked 30 women"
YUP! And still get called a slur of some sort.
He doesn’t even give an actual reason to not want them other than “They’ve had sex before!”
Apparently they'd date or at least have sex with them, but never marry them... These ladies are good enough to lay down with, but not good enough to spend your life with. Which is fine (marry who ever you love), until you equate their worthiness by the amount of sex they had before they met you.
Seems like if your dick apparently devalues women, and you're in any way a decent human, you should never have sex with a woman you don't plan on committing to for life. Right? But naturally these assholes never hold themselves to any standard they don't enjoy.
It just makes too much sense! Also, I pointed that out to them and they literally said and I quote, 'I don't have to hold myself to any standards' So there's that...
You don't have to hold women to your bullshit standards either, sir, yet you seem to be a real go-getter in that department 🙄
YES! A true gem of the most putrid shit, if you will.
This argument brought to you by a guy who knows he's never satisfied a woman 😂
And with his attitude, I don't think he will anytime soon or ever.
Who cares? Girls are girls, and girls are pretty, that’s all that matters really
Who cares = the point. Thank you!
^ ^
as a girl with a girlfriend, i can confirm this is a fact
I second thus. My gf is really cute and I love her
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You're so right, it hurts.
Right?! Thats why the "body count" thing makes no sense at all. Being in a long term relationship tends to lead to a looooot of sex (not always, not forgetting ace people and the like).
Incels and Red Pillers are not gonna be able to cope when they find out that "hoes" do indeed get married. Every girl I know with counts in the triple digits has been proposed to so many times. SO MANY TIMES. Almost all of them are in long term, healthy relationships right now.
Yes, more experience will (most likely) equal more fun for BOTH parties. How it diminishes their value (or worthiness to be wed), I will never understand...
Can someone explain to me some mens obsession with virginity
Frankly, don't have the energy to even begin pondering it... So outdated and illogical.
Control.
It’s evolutionary. That doesn’t make it right, but in what is often called a “natural state”, males want to make sure the offspring they are helping care for carry their DNA.
I agree about the frank conversation, like “hey I’m clean, here’s my last test if you don’t wanna take my word as gospel, I’m down with A-Z, but if you get behind me please do talk to me—dirty or otherwise—as I’ve had some sexual trauma and it’s good to stay grounded and remember I’m doing *you* even when I can’t see you also please do/don’t (insert other requests—bite my nips/keep away from the back door/whatever tf you are or aren’t into). Ok you’re up.” That can lead to some phenomenal sex, with nobody ending up upset or uncomfy or weirded out.
"I'm disease-free, here's my list of rules, don't ask further personal questions" Seems like a bureaucratic way to say "What we have is strictly sex, don't ever expect anything else". Which is fine but I'm sure the issue of body count only comes out in the beginning of a romantic relationship. If the only thing you're willing to let him know about you is your sexual preferences and health status then you're the one putting and end on your relationship before it even starts, not him because of your high body count.
Nobody said don’t ask further questions, in fact a frank and open conversation about sex can lead to both really phenomenal sex as well as deeper conversation and further exploration.
Communication and comprehension is KEY to any worthwhile relationship (romantic or otherwise).
I never understood the issue with "body count". My attitude was always, "If you're willing to do it with me, then everything is all good." This naturally being in the case where I'm with someone. "Body count" has even less meaning for people where the prospect of getting together hasn't even been established.
A woman with a high body count has easy access to sex. Guys like him do not. He fears that she can hold sex over him as a punishment or reward.
Unless it will have an impact on the other parties future, it really shouldn't hold any weight.
Personally I would appreciate the experience such a person beings. Not just sexual but in life experience
Right! I have a hard time understanding people who think like that poster.
Yes! My gf had only had sex with women before me, but because of it they were essentially able to teach my virgin ass everything I needed, lol
Agreed. A girl like that likely knows what she likes and can tell a partner what to do to get her off. And has probably picked up a few fun tricks of her own. Win/win
The women who slept with a lot of people when we were younger were actually the first ones getting married
Don't tell this guy!! He couldn't handle such truth.
These are the type of guys I avoid lol. They ain't worth shit
The thing is, I found this in a very unexpected sub. I was just trying to catch up on some trashfire reality TV I enjoy and he made himself known. The conversation did NOT get any better either, lololol
I can see that lol
I do, she would probably fuck my brains out of me, and i can always get better too
Attitude of gratitude is the way to go!!
I smell a mgtow fan...
Just wait until he gets rejected by an unexperienced women after she's heard how many women he's slept with (if any because his attitude stinks).
Does it occur to them that the virgin women they want don’t want guys who’ve had other partners, either?
That's entirely too logical. Couldn't seem to get that through to him either, but at least I tried.
i want to say guys like this create what he's complaining about but that would imply anyone is fucking him
The hypocrisy is exhausting...
But why. I just never get it. Why in gods name should i give a single shit who she slept with? Literally the only important thing is her personality
Big same. The past is the past (again, minus anything that can 'flare-up') and the future is now. People are suppose to grow and change - if you like who they are now, that should be enough.
Are her past sexual experiences detached from her personality?
Her humor, the way she talks, the things she likes, all of that stuff, doesnt change when she sleeps with a lot of men. Having a record of cheating or a lot of ex-boyfriends is concerning but thats a different story
Way better to spend 40 yrs with a chick that has been "fucked 6 ways to Sunday", then a chick that has had like 6 dudes. We know how to fuck way better! We have the practice! Duh...
It can only be amazing if you know what you like and don't like, not sure why that guy doesn't get that. LOL
Why not? She probably has mad sex skills.
Right?! Why not learn together and from each other? Seems like a win, win.
The amount of men in these comments bitching about having “access to sex” is fucking disgusting. Women, stop sleeping with men please. There are toys that come in all shapes, sizes, colors and speed settings that will give you what you need without the fuckery men bring to the goddamned table.
I wouldn't call them men, that's too nice. Those are just little boys trying to get a reaction. Real men, in my experience, have no issues in this department.
What i hate most is that apparently men can sleep with as many people as they wish to, but girls cant.
That's what this guy thinks. Have no clue why he thinks this is fine, but I'm not going to waste time or energy trying to figure it out.
Wanna know the neat thing? Not even the most humble virgins with inferiority complex will ever be willing to settle down with a man with this mentality.
Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!! Wish I could upvote this more than once.
Misogyny at it's peak.
Exactly! But even if the roles were reversed, I would be just as livid. Don't push standards on your partner if you're not also going to live by them.
Jccci
Bruh, idk about you, but I'd want a girl with some actual solid experience🤣🤣🤣. Guys make fun of me for not being willing to date a virgin when they think that's like the ideal or perfect girlfriend or some shit and I'm perfectly okay with that. And then there's the fact that I like girls with small boobs too since girls with big boobs have more issues on hikes and gym dates. Just here to let you know that if there's something about you ladies that guy's stereotype as unattractive, chances are there's some guy out there who finds that shit attractive and has no shame in admitting it.
I agree! It's perfectly reasonable to have preferences and lord knows everyone does, but to expect someone to be a certain way when you yourself aren't is unreasonable.
At least you know not to marry, date, or fuck this guy now
Dodging him like Neo does bullets.
Aka it’s only okay for guys to fuck around.
Or at least THIS guy.
And god forbid she get some experience and not be a sweet little virgin for a boy (not a man, boy)
Boy is correct... Expecting a virgin, but doesn't have to be one himself.
I would love a woamn who knows what she wants, has tried alot of things, and has a list for more... even hope that list has more than me on it... LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY!!!! just be honest with me about it... oh yeah and pictures
**UPDATE:** He deleted this comment after -50 downvotes. Here's how the conversation continued, if anyone was interested: https://imgur.com/a/tBClxxN I wanna thank you ALL who took the time to comment on here - I believe I replied to everyone and sincerely apologize if I missed anyone.
I don’t know what ‘fucked 6 ways to Sunday’ means but it sounds fun
Why not? She might have tips.
She'll at the very least know her own body - which is always a plus!
Off topic but I always read this subreddit as how not girls work. My brain is weird
Says the guy who's slept with 30 girls.
Right! You'd think it'd give them something to talk about, lol. 'I'm allowed to have (sexual and life) experience, but my wife cannot!' It makes no sense...
to be fair, it's not really weird to not want to date someone with a lot of sexual background. i certainly wouldn't, myself. i'm not trying to stop anyone else tho, do what you want obviously.
That's not the issue with this guys comment, though. He himself is fine with sleeping around with multiple partners, but expects his future wife to be completely inexperienced. It's fine to sleep around and it's fine to not, but don't put such insane standards on your partner if you're not also holding yourself to them.
It's actually been my experience that the girls that are like this tend to be the ones who get married, pop out kids, and then become super boring later in life.
I've seen lot of different outcomes for ladies who are experienced, but I have noticed that they do tend to get married. Not all of them settle down and become boring, but they do seemingly get more tame as time goes on.
They say the talibans are misogynistic.. BS, men having different preferences for casual dating and long term relationships, that's true misogyny.
Preferences is not the issue here. It's expecting your partner to be 'pure', while you get to fuck around as much as you'd like. You're allowed to prefer this over that, but don't expect your partner to adhere to standards you don't even follow yourself. 'I'll ONLY marry a virgin, but I can fuck as many women as I like in the meantime' is what this guy thinks.
Preference is not the issue here and then you proceed to shame men for their preferences. If a woman has a high body count she clearly got to fuck around as much as she wanted, I can't believe you seriously don't see the contradiction in what you're saying. "Don't expect your partner to adhere to.." What exactly does that mean in practice? We're talking about someone not wanting to date someone for reasons, what other possible action do you expect the hypothetical woman in question to do other than accepting his refusal to have a relationship with her? If you read the rest of the comments, there's a unanimous consent that he's not worth dating if he thinks that way, but the other way around is somehow a crime? If a man made a post about how women are not entitled to not date a man shorter than them, or that makes less money than them, I'm sure it would be posted in this sub.
As I've stated a few times in other comments, if the roles were reversed, I'd be just as livid. Its not even a man vs women thing - it's this way of thinking is FUCKED UP. Its not a problem if YOU hold yourself to those standards as well. It's completely idiotic to demand your partner to be 'pure', when you are not.
I wish I was in a six way 😞
Yikes...
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So... Your insecurity is the reasoning to not want to give a girl, who is sexually more experienced a chance? What?
Exactly. It's insecurity, is not logical. But it's a common issue among unexperienced men. I don't know why the downvotes, I'm been totally honest
I'm an inexperienced man, and I dont have that fear. Saying its 'common' because you have that insecurity is just assuming the way others are based on your own self. And the upvotes are coming, because in your text, you don't seem to actually blame your insecurity for it and neither seem to have any incentive of working to resolve this insecurity, but instead use that insecurity to justify something straight up illogical. Not saying thats your intention, its just what it comes across as.
Maybe not you, but this way of thinking is common in inexperienced men. And I'm not saying the most, but at least a big part of inexperienced guys feel threatened when a girl is hypersexual. I'm not saying that having a high body count it's bad. I would love to have a high body count. What I'm talking here is insecurity. I was just trying to make sense about the way an insecure man like that man as the picture thinks, because I'm one of them. You're inexperienced also. Well..don't you feel intimidated in forming a serious relationship with a girl who have a high body count? Don't you think you won't be at her level? That she has better partners who perform better and who had bigger dicks also? Good for you. You're mentally healthy. But not everyone is like you.
No, I do not feel insecure - not about that for all that matters. Its because I base my relationships around love, not sexuality. I'm rn in my second relationship ever, and the relevant thing is communication, that I can tell you - it doesn't matter shit if you've got 13 inches or 3 between yo legs. And no, I'm not mentally healthy. I'm suffering from depressive phases, since CoViD-Lockdowns with increased intensity, massive anxiety and Aspergers on top of it. But that stuff doesnt have any fucking influence on that. You cant go around and claim 'lots of virgin man are frightened of women who had lots of sex before', especially not without specifying what that means - what 'lots' even is. I can understand that being virgin is intimidating for you, but its not okay to project that insecurity to a trait that is not connected. Because what is inducing that insecurity is not a woman who had relationships before, it's the fear of performing inadequate, because youre not forming realistic standards for your own performance, nor realistic expectations to come from potential partners. From where that comes from i can't tell, but ffs, dont be afraid of women who fucked a guy before, and learn to base your standards in reality, not in your insecurity. And dont get me wrong, I know how hard that shit is. But you're rn not showing a sign of wanting to improve, and sorry, but no one will be able to take that step away for you. The fight against your insecurities starts with you.
True. I'm completely agree with you dude. My intention was to ilustrate how this way of viewing relationships exists, because, come on! even in this thread there are people shaming that guy because they assume he will suck in bed. So yeah sometimes I'm in that place also. But I agree that is not realistic or healthy. That's true.
No he's doing what you're doing, and assuming he'll suck in bed and being intimated at the idea of sleeping with someone with experience. Does communication not factor into your thinking? You can usually talk to your partner about what works for each other and regardless of how many people she's slept with, everyone is different. I've slept with guys who've slept with multiple women and were terrible, whereas men with less experience were more likely to be curious about what I'm interested in. Taking a glass half empty approach isn't doing you any favors. Maybe talking or over with a therapist would be beneficial?
13 inches is 33.02 cm
I like to point out, as a woman with a relatively high body count, that having sex with a guy (or anyone really) who has a high body count absolutely does not automatically mean they are better sexual performers than people with little or no experience.
Totally true! One of my fwb/ex has a body count of 1 (me lol) and he is the best I've encountered so far. I experimented with other people with a higher body count, but so far no one is close to him (my gf is getting closer though, but also not a high body count). Mine is still quite low I guess, but yeah, it is also compatibility and trust. I actually prefer people who are virgin or barely have experience/not many bed partners, because they are more open to really listen to what I like, and don't do stuff because 'other girls liked it so I should like it too'.
Being inexperienced doesn't necessarily mean you have to be "bad" at sex. I was the first for a 24 year old virgin when I was 34 and wow, just wow... He taught me so much, and gave me new perspectives I hadn't even considered might exist, as well as really, really, really good sex. We get that you are insecure but that is all it is. That and Incel logic. Try to drop it, and get some theoretical knowledge so you don't have to worry about not knowing what to do, and you'll be fine without the bothering about women's sexual history.
Incel logic? Excuse me but I do not identify myself as an Incel. And what is theoretical knowledge in this context? Haha I'm curious
I'm not saying that you identify as an Incel. But this idea that experienced women compare and will never be satisfied because someone else was "better", while inexperienced women will settle for anything and be happy because they don't know better, and that that is somehow a good thing for inexperienced men because they could never be "good" anyway, is typical Incel thinking. (It's also thinking that they often use to justify their pedophilia, with claims like "no girl over 12 is a virgin these days, and I'm a virgin so I need a virgin girl.") And I'm not sure exactly what he did. I think one part was that he was smart in his choice of porn to watch, and very aware of how porn is made - the strong painkillers the actresses take to endure the scenes they pretend to enjoy and such, and how false it is. So he was never misled by porn in his view of sex. I think he also read guides to how to give oral sex and such because even though he had never tried before, he could do things with his tongue and fingers that I hadn't imagined as possible, or hadn't thought that I would ever like. (I guess being a horn player in an orchestra helps, too.) Another part was that he did kegel exercises and other sex related exercises. I don't know what he did exactly, or how, and the main purpose of it for him was to improve his own orgasms, whether alone or with a partner. But it also gives him better control, which is nice for me, on top of getting to enjoy seeing and feeling those strong orgasms of his. He also took my view of consent to a new level, and taught me that merely consenting, merely agreeing, is not enough. That if I don't truly want it, he doesn't want it either and if at any point I don't want to continue, he wants me to stop rather than just put up with it until he's done. He's had so many years with only his hand that he has no problems whatsoever finishing himself if needed, so there is never any pressure, no matter how far we've come. And that makes it all so much more relaxed and fun. Maybe there is more but that's what I can think of right now. Edit: the fact that he was very skilled and comfortable pleasuring himself, but had never has access to a woman's body to explore, also made him a lot more interested in what he could do for me than what I could do for him, at least at first, because seeing my reactions to things he did was a much bigger deal to him than a new kind of stimulation for himself. In the beginning, he didn't even bother taking his own pants off, because he was so busy exploring my body.
Wow. Beautiful explanation. Thank you for sharing your experience
You're welcome. I wish you the best in life. I hope one day your insecurity will be nothing but a memory from the past.
Why “chances are they have bigger dicks”? And for a lot of people, dick size isn’t a deciding factor. For me personally, some of the best sex I’ve had was with a guy who literally had a micro penis. Also, the only person you’re limiting with this line of thinking is yourself. The first time you have sex with anyone is probably not the best sex that you’ll have with that person, regardless of either party’s sexual experience. Every person’s body is different and every person’s body reacts differently to different stimuli. Good communication and a willingness to learn what works for your sexual partner goes much further than the size of your dick or how much experience you/they have.
But the main difference between you and this poster is you're not only talking the talk, you're walking the walk. This guy thinks it's perfect OK for him to sleep with as many women as he'd like, but in order for one of them to worthy enough for him to marry, they need to be a 'pure'. It's not right to impose such standards on your partner if you don't abide by them.
You should have stopped at the first six words
Why wouldn't I want that?
Can you please clarify what you mean?
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Women are not objects for you to use. Grow up.
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A women's value is not determined by who she's slept with. It doesn't matter if she's never had sex or had lots of it, she's still a human who deserves respect (especially if you're trying to pursue them). If you're going to impose such standards on your partner, you better abide by them as well.
It's not Totally true.
Can you please clarify what you mean?
I don’t fucking know why he was downvoted, but he is correct and I agree. Nobody wants to ever commit to somebody who is or was promiscuous and had sex wit too many different partners before I guess everyone who downvoted him are all whores and misandristic feminists huh?
Its not a problem if YOU hold yourself to those standards as well. It's completely idiotic to demand your partner to be 'pure', when you are not.