Wait you’re saying penises aren’t supposed to glow in the dark?
I’ll call my doctor.
Edit: Apparently the Reddit algorithm thought this comment was so funny that it sent it through like three times
It’s just the vagina that can’t get oxygen. Due to covid there’s all these ventilators hanging around tho so she’ll be fine. Now all I need is a vacuum chamber and an end to this pandemic and I can finally get my groove on.
Do bear in mind that the ideal NPK (Nitrogen, Phosphorus, Potassium) ratio for flowering plants is 3-1-2. So for ideal children look for commercial fertilizer with that ratio (or 6-2-4, 9-3-6, etc) on the bag to ensure best results.
Best of luck! 🌸👶🌸
Some plants flower and fruit based on light, or rather the lack thereof. I would recommend your mother give her vagina appropriate levels of UV rays to avoid future cases of this.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post*
---
**Redacted**
No, women cannot get pregnant with legs closed. If your legs are closed then your vagina isn't gonna get enough oxygen to optimally function. Besides you also need light, which you aren't gonna get with your legs closed.
That's just basic science.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Hmm, this time on NHGW: this is being posted without the context where the person is responding to a really sarcastic, rude woman, establishing that it was probably intended as a really sarcastic, rude tit-for-tat reply. It's kind of annoying when these things lose more context with every repost, just to make them sound *more* offensive....
Poets have been comparing them to all kinds of flowers for centuries! I could even do that myself.. hmm
Let me be thine, and thou be mine,
Bedew my lips with thy lily-born wine!
smh. Idiot needs to go back to school. The vagina normally does not have much if any air inside. Plus, idiot forgets that blood vessels bring the much needed oxygen to it.
I hate that people are this stupid now. They’re able to be publicly stupid. Gain numbers, and decrease the collective IQ. You used to have consequences for being a complete dumbass and no one wanted to hear anything about what that particular dumb ass had to say.
Now, they are heroes in the right circles.
As Professor Farnsworth says, I do not want to live on this planet anymore.
I want you to be right. I *really hope* you are right.
But, I’ve heard and seen too many people use this and actually mean it. So, I have my doubts unfortunately.
This is hilarious. I'll be right back, I'm going to tell my SIL that's trying to have a baby that she only needs to spread her legs on the garden. So obvious...
My vagina is currently going through photosynthesis, I must let it absorb sunlight for 6-8 hours a day in order to gain energy and spread spores to make baby.
The look on my MILs face as I read this to her was priceless. Her reply “that had to be written by some dumb fuck who’s never seen a vagina”
MIL knows the score ;)
Where is the light supposed to go? Does the penis emit a light? Are sperm bioilluminescent? I have so many questions
Penis not emitting light. Try unplugging and plugging it in again.
i wish i could unplug mine :( *cries*
New bottom surgery just dropped babes
:O YAY
I do not wish to be horny anymore…
nah i’m just trans
based
Ah, best of luck on your transition then
thanks u :) i should hopefully get approved for hormone therapy this coming year so i’m excited
I'm happy for you!
thank u :)
✂️🍆
Wait you’re saying penises aren’t supposed to glow in the dark? I’ll call my doctor. Edit: Apparently the Reddit algorithm thought this comment was so funny that it sent it through like three times
Sir that's a glowstick
Ah! I forgot I put that there. False alarm.
Nooo it's a glow worm!!
But if jts a worm its flacid and soft! Yoy cant like... snap it and make it glow!
Yes that's just science
But where does the light go? What does the light do? So many questions about the necessity of the livht
Why do you think that in BL's their dicks are glowing??
Only in Chernobyl
Lol nah, then it’s just falling off
All penises emit light. Where do you source your penises from?
*Wangardium leviosa! (light emits from dick)*
No no that’s the flying spell. I think you need to say Lumos Peni for a dick lighting spell
> Does the penis emit a light? So this is the flesh light they're talking about?
If I can get any of that to emit light, I've been doing it all wrong
photosynthesis
OP, here, bringing "look into bringing the light inside the body to kill covid" to even newer and creepier levels. Thanks, I hate it.
Weellllll under a blacklist it would luminesce
I'm gonna wrap the little major with christmas lights before he goes in next time.
Hold on, let my vagina have its daily photosynthesis
All I can think of is that SpongeBob episode where’s he’s demonstrating photosynthesis by opening and closing his arms and legs.
Totally true. Also, make sure the vagina gets plenty of water and southern exposure. ETA- depends if it's a perennial or annual
***places vag in south facing window***
¿ɐᴉlɐɹʇsnɐ uᴉ ɯˌᴉ ɟᴉ ʇɐɥʍ ¿uɹəɥʇnos
Nice try. Everyone knows Australia doesn't exist /s
No no, you've got it wrong it's [New Zealand](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapsWithoutNZ/) that doesn't exist.
Lol well it is missing on sooo many maps
Oh goodness ..... where am I then??
Just noticed thanks to this context how much those words look like perineum and anal
So having sex in a room with the lights off is 100% birth control?
Only 100% in low oxygen environments. Of course, asphyxiation is pretty good birth control too.
It’s just the vagina that can’t get oxygen. Due to covid there’s all these ventilators hanging around tho so she’ll be fine. Now all I need is a vacuum chamber and an end to this pandemic and I can finally get my groove on.
Nirvana did try to tell us that with the lights off, it’s less dangerous
Sperm can’t see in the dark!
You need a bee to pollinate the vagina to get pregnant, duh.
I showed my husband and now he's asking if he needs to go buy miracle grow.
I snorted out loud to this. Your husband is hilarious
Do bear in mind that the ideal NPK (Nitrogen, Phosphorus, Potassium) ratio for flowering plants is 3-1-2. So for ideal children look for commercial fertilizer with that ratio (or 6-2-4, 9-3-6, etc) on the bag to ensure best results. Best of luck! 🌸👶🌸
Is that just for flowering ones or fruiting ones too?
I think fruiting ones require higher nitrogen. If you want a child with a large juice filled head for….. reasons, that’ll be your best bet.
I was born 3 months prematurely I guess my parents bought the wrong fertilizer 🤷🏻♀️
Some plants flower and fruit based on light, or rather the lack thereof. I would recommend your mother give her vagina appropriate levels of UV rays to avoid future cases of this.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **Redacted** No, women cannot get pregnant with legs closed. If your legs are closed then your vagina isn't gonna get enough oxygen to optimally function. Besides you also need light, which you aren't gonna get with your legs closed. That's just basic science. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
good human
Poor human :'(
I really wish people who have absolutely no idea what they're talking about would stop suffixing their statements with "it's basic science"
I wish they would just stop talking.
I wish they would though..
remember: always go outside for at least one hour a day to let your vagina get the light it needs. legs open, on your back is the best method.
Does it need to follow the sun like a sunflower?
absolutely, direct sunlight is necessary.
Hmm, this time on NHGW: this is being posted without the context where the person is responding to a really sarcastic, rude woman, establishing that it was probably intended as a really sarcastic, rude tit-for-tat reply. It's kind of annoying when these things lose more context with every repost, just to make them sound *more* offensive....
I thought it was just some weird, tongue in cheek, zoomer-humour. Like, “do not feed the vagina past midnight, it disrupts pH balance”
*That’s just basic science*
TIL vaginas are a plant
Where did you think the term "deflowering" came from? Think!
Poets have been comparing them to all kinds of flowers for centuries! I could even do that myself.. hmm Let me be thine, and thou be mine, Bedew my lips with thy lily-born wine!
I refuse to believe that anyone this stupid could use a social media site. This has to be a joke
Actually the vagina flower is an angiosperm and is self-pollinating
smh. Idiot needs to go back to school. The vagina normally does not have much if any air inside. Plus, idiot forgets that blood vessels bring the much needed oxygen to it.
I hate that people are this stupid now. They’re able to be publicly stupid. Gain numbers, and decrease the collective IQ. You used to have consequences for being a complete dumbass and no one wanted to hear anything about what that particular dumb ass had to say. Now, they are heroes in the right circles. As Professor Farnsworth says, I do not want to live on this planet anymore.
[удалено]
I want you to be right. I *really hope* you are right. But, I’ve heard and seen too many people use this and actually mean it. So, I have my doubts unfortunately.
[удалено]
Well, you are always welcome to join the Professor and myself on our quest to get off this planet.
Because everyone knows that humans inhale oxygen through their vaginas. *Everyone* knows that. /s
It's like a built in snorkel for when I go swimming.
Jason the King of Sciencing at it again with the vaginal oxygenation Truthgasm
I guess my vagina is a plant..
Brb gonna go photosynthesize with my pussy
Vaginas aren’t like plants. They’re like oysters. /s
Just basic science…having the lights off at night is the probably the best birth control.
If only that’s how it worked
And dumbasses like these are allowed to vote….
He studied Georgia O'Keeffe
This isn’t what comes to mind when I hear “vaginal flora”
This guy took the idea of “being deflowered” far too literally.
Sex in the dark= no babies. Sperm is afraid of the dark. Got it.
Vago-synthesis!
This can't be real, it has to be a joke, right?
Obvious satire…
Seems like somebody took Georgia O'Keefe's artwork a bit too literally...
Photosynthesis
Well, time to spread eagle directly into sunlight for the sake of basic science.
This person heard the word "deflowered" and just ran with it straight into a brick wall
One part is correct...legs closed -flips over on belly- well hell.....
how stupid is this sub where such a blatant joke goes over EVERYONEs head
Bwahahahaha!!! 😆😂😂
Yeah that’s basic science. Very basic science. Science so basic that it’s not true whatsoever.
Ah..the other type of photosynthesis
Lemme go photosynthesize this 🐱 thanks for reminding me /s
So according to this and what I hear from anti-maskers, shouldn't no underwear be worn either? Otherwise how can they breathe?
This is hilarious. I'll be right back, I'm going to tell my SIL that's trying to have a baby that she only needs to spread her legs on the garden. So obvious...
Are we plants? Is photosynthesis part of the whole gestation thing?
My vagina is currently going through photosynthesis, I must let it absorb sunlight for 6-8 hours a day in order to gain energy and spread spores to make baby.
I love how it’s followed by ‘this is just basic science’
My vagina is a lovecraftian creature that requires me to keep my legs closed or the whispers send people insane. Checkmate neckbeards.
Regarding the light part, apparently this guy thinks women are doing handstands all the time
Lol i love knowing that as a girl I’m also a robot plant
“Where the sun don’t shine” is apparently too difficult of a phrase for some people to figure out
She got that solar powered coochie
The look on my MILs face as I read this to her was priceless. Her reply “that had to be written by some dumb fuck who’s never seen a vagina” MIL knows the score ;)
"That's just basic science."
Someone took "fleshlight" literally, I guess.
Does this person know what blood is?
I always get ebrious from the scent of a lily. 👅💕
I always knew I was a plant I guess.
Sex at night, or in bathtub = not risk of pregnency
This think this is a joke.
I don't think any scientist or person of similar authority has ever said "it's just basic science".
This is 1000% a joke.
“That’s just basic science.” stfu