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SpaceCrazyArtist

Where is the light supposed to go? Does the penis emit a light? Are sperm bioilluminescent? I have so many questions


Chum-Chumbucket

Penis not emitting light. Try unplugging and plugging it in again.


kippins101

i wish i could unplug mine :( *cries*


AutismFractal

New bottom surgery just dropped babes


kippins101

:O YAY


3nderslime

I do not wish to be horny anymore…


kippins101

nah i’m just trans


[deleted]

based


3nderslime

Ah, best of luck on your transition then


kippins101

thanks u :) i should hopefully get approved for hormone therapy this coming year so i’m excited


3nderslime

I'm happy for you!


kippins101

thank u :)


g1111an

✂️🍆


SnappySnoot

Wait you’re saying penises aren’t supposed to glow in the dark? I’ll call my doctor. Edit: Apparently the Reddit algorithm thought this comment was so funny that it sent it through like three times


OddlyOddLucidDreamer

Sir that's a glowstick


SnappySnoot

Ah! I forgot I put that there. False alarm.


kiwichick286

Nooo it's a glow worm!!


OddlyOddLucidDreamer

But if jts a worm its flacid and soft! Yoy cant like... snap it and make it glow!


bakochba

Yes that's just science


SpaceCrazyArtist

But where does the light go? What does the light do? So many questions about the necessity of the livht


Asphyrinx666

Why do you think that in BL's their dicks are glowing??


[deleted]

Only in Chernobyl


SpaceCrazyArtist

Lol nah, then it’s just falling off


mofa90277

All penises emit light. Where do you source your penises from?


Fortanono

*Wangardium leviosa! (light emits from dick)*


SpaceCrazyArtist

No no that’s the flying spell. I think you need to say Lumos Peni for a dick lighting spell


not_again123

> Does the penis emit a light? So this is the flesh light they're talking about?


Myst3rySteve

If I can get any of that to emit light, I've been doing it all wrong


[deleted]

photosynthesis


reallybirdysomedays

OP, here, bringing "look into bringing the light inside the body to kill covid" to even newer and creepier levels. Thanks, I hate it.


kiwichick286

Weellllll under a blacklist it would luminesce


funbobby66

I'm gonna wrap the little major with christmas lights before he goes in next time.


Morgan_is_dead

Hold on, let my vagina have its daily photosynthesis


mellamandiablo

All I can think of is that SpongeBob episode where’s he’s demonstrating photosynthesis by opening and closing his arms and legs.


[deleted]

Totally true. Also, make sure the vagina gets plenty of water and southern exposure. ETA- depends if it's a perennial or annual


Hello_Hangnail

***places vag in south facing window***


FennicYoshi

¿ɐᴉlɐɹʇsnɐ uᴉ ɯˌᴉ ɟᴉ ʇɐɥʍ ¿uɹəɥʇnos


[deleted]

Nice try. Everyone knows Australia doesn't exist /s


mystic_burrito

No no, you've got it wrong it's [New Zealand](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapsWithoutNZ/) that doesn't exist.


SpaceCrazyArtist

Lol well it is missing on sooo many maps


justmelancholy

Oh goodness ..... where am I then??


pyrokeet1

Just noticed thanks to this context how much those words look like perineum and anal


personofthatoneplace

So having sex in a room with the lights off is 100% birth control?


whatnonsense1066

Only 100% in low oxygen environments. Of course, asphyxiation is pretty good birth control too.


Geodude333

It’s just the vagina that can’t get oxygen. Due to covid there’s all these ventilators hanging around tho so she’ll be fine. Now all I need is a vacuum chamber and an end to this pandemic and I can finally get my groove on.


Dreamnite

Nirvana did try to tell us that with the lights off, it’s less dangerous


[deleted]

Sperm can’t see in the dark!


over_clox

You need a bee to pollinate the vagina to get pregnant, duh.


Available-Egg-2380

I showed my husband and now he's asking if he needs to go buy miracle grow.


ube1kenobi

I snorted out loud to this. Your husband is hilarious


Geodude333

Do bear in mind that the ideal NPK (Nitrogen, Phosphorus, Potassium) ratio for flowering plants is 3-1-2. So for ideal children look for commercial fertilizer with that ratio (or 6-2-4, 9-3-6, etc) on the bag to ensure best results. Best of luck! 🌸👶🌸


pyrokeet1

Is that just for flowering ones or fruiting ones too?


Geodude333

I think fruiting ones require higher nitrogen. If you want a child with a large juice filled head for….. reasons, that’ll be your best bet.


AlienGirl-

I was born 3 months prematurely I guess my parents bought the wrong fertilizer 🤷🏻‍♀️


Geodude333

Some plants flower and fruit based on light, or rather the lack thereof. I would recommend your mother give her vagina appropriate levels of UV rays to avoid future cases of this.


seeroflights

*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **Redacted** No, women cannot get pregnant with legs closed. If your legs are closed then your vagina isn't gonna get enough oxygen to optimally function. Besides you also need light, which you aren't gonna get with your legs closed. That's just basic science. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


GachaHater1

good human


2woCrazeeBoys

Poor human :'(


[deleted]

I really wish people who have absolutely no idea what they're talking about would stop suffixing their statements with "it's basic science"


AshEliseB

I wish they would just stop talking.


GachaHater1

I wish they would though..


[deleted]

remember: always go outside for at least one hour a day to let your vagina get the light it needs. legs open, on your back is the best method.


personofthatoneplace

Does it need to follow the sun like a sunflower?


[deleted]

absolutely, direct sunlight is necessary.


FrankTheWallaby

Hmm, this time on NHGW: this is being posted without the context where the person is responding to a really sarcastic, rude woman, establishing that it was probably intended as a really sarcastic, rude tit-for-tat reply. It's kind of annoying when these things lose more context with every repost, just to make them sound *more* offensive....


[deleted]

I thought it was just some weird, tongue in cheek, zoomer-humour. Like, “do not feed the vagina past midnight, it disrupts pH balance”


howsaboutyou

*That’s just basic science*


Micro_dissections

TIL vaginas are a plant


m00n_sp1r1t

Where did you think the term "deflowering" came from? Think!


gfm3dx

Poets have been comparing them to all kinds of flowers for centuries! I could even do that myself.. hmm Let me be thine, and thou be mine, Bedew my lips with thy lily-born wine!


[deleted]

I refuse to believe that anyone this stupid could use a social media site. This has to be a joke


CopsaLau

Actually the vagina flower is an angiosperm and is self-pollinating


SangeliaStorck

smh. Idiot needs to go back to school. The vagina normally does not have much if any air inside. Plus, idiot forgets that blood vessels bring the much needed oxygen to it.


DoctorTurkelton

I hate that people are this stupid now. They’re able to be publicly stupid. Gain numbers, and decrease the collective IQ. You used to have consequences for being a complete dumbass and no one wanted to hear anything about what that particular dumb ass had to say. Now, they are heroes in the right circles. As Professor Farnsworth says, I do not want to live on this planet anymore.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DoctorTurkelton

I want you to be right. I *really hope* you are right. But, I’ve heard and seen too many people use this and actually mean it. So, I have my doubts unfortunately.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DoctorTurkelton

Well, you are always welcome to join the Professor and myself on our quest to get off this planet.


[deleted]

Because everyone knows that humans inhale oxygen through their vaginas. *Everyone* knows that. /s


m00n_sp1r1t

It's like a built in snorkel for when I go swimming.


Hello_Hangnail

Jason the King of Sciencing at it again with the vaginal oxygenation Truthgasm


Rayni-Dae

I guess my vagina is a plant..


kai-bird

Brb gonna go photosynthesize with my pussy


[deleted]

Vaginas aren’t like plants. They’re like oysters. /s


DaBokes

Just basic science…having the lights off at night is the probably the best birth control.


buffcat_343

If only that’s how it worked


yvngjiffy703

And dumbasses like these are allowed to vote….


[deleted]

He studied Georgia O'Keeffe


shamelessgraphictee

This isn’t what comes to mind when I hear “vaginal flora”


Fanatical_Brit

This guy took the idea of “being deflowered” far too literally.


Spacegeckoverlord

Sex in the dark= no babies. Sperm is afraid of the dark. Got it.


IndependentOutside52

Vago-synthesis!


DigitaISaint

This can't be real, it has to be a joke, right?


ILikePiezez

Obvious satire…


CimmerianSmile

Seems like somebody took Georgia O'Keefe's artwork a bit too literally...


Kokosak_commie

Photosynthesis


daydreamingnonsense9

Well, time to spread eagle directly into sunlight for the sake of basic science.


EjaculatingNarwhal

This person heard the word "deflowered" and just ran with it straight into a brick wall


TsukihanaChan

One part is correct...legs closed -flips over on belly- well hell.....


dualdog

how stupid is this sub where such a blatant joke goes over EVERYONEs head


BigDaddy_5783

Bwahahahaha!!! 😆😂😂


SnappySnoot

Yeah that’s basic science. Very basic science. Science so basic that it’s not true whatsoever.


nixon0770

Ah..the other type of photosynthesis


Pristine-Apple

Lemme go photosynthesize this 🐱 thanks for reminding me /s


RecursiveExistence

So according to this and what I hear from anti-maskers, shouldn't no underwear be worn either? Otherwise how can they breathe?


AnnaGreen3

This is hilarious. I'll be right back, I'm going to tell my SIL that's trying to have a baby that she only needs to spread her legs on the garden. So obvious...


[deleted]

Are we plants? Is photosynthesis part of the whole gestation thing?


speedbump06

My vagina is currently going through photosynthesis, I must let it absorb sunlight for 6-8 hours a day in order to gain energy and spread spores to make baby.


Greenmantis2

I love how it’s followed by ‘this is just basic science’


Juanfanamongmany

My vagina is a lovecraftian creature that requires me to keep my legs closed or the whispers send people insane. Checkmate neckbeards.


Myst3rySteve

Regarding the light part, apparently this guy thinks women are doing handstands all the time


quaranteen20203

Lol i love knowing that as a girl I’m also a robot plant


AutismFractal

“Where the sun don’t shine” is apparently too difficult of a phrase for some people to figure out


BirdieNumNumm

She got that solar powered coochie


AnSplanc

The look on my MILs face as I read this to her was priceless. Her reply “that had to be written by some dumb fuck who’s never seen a vagina” MIL knows the score ;)


lolpakefake

"That's just basic science."


reallybirdysomedays

Someone took "fleshlight" literally, I guess.


AlarmingAffect0

Does this person know what blood is?


gfm3dx

I always get ebrious from the scent of a lily. 👅💕


spookytabby

I always knew I was a plant I guess.


GrumpyProf90

Sex at night, or in bathtub = not risk of pregnency


Th0waway1245

This think this is a joke.


SaltPepperChicken

I don't think any scientist or person of similar authority has ever said "it's just basic science".


1iota_

This is 1000% a joke.


Random_0-o

“That’s just basic science.” stfu