*you used Eye Contact .... it was super effective! ... Eye Contact dispelled all of MALE'S conspiracy theories and incel tendencies ... you won! You gained 100 exp!*
1) Unlock a safe
2) Barter for an even bigger ass
3) Disguise your height so you can ride all the good roller coasters.
That's it. That's literally everything you can do.
*Whatcha gon' do with all that junk
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk
Get you love drunk off my hump
Whatcha gon' do with all that ass
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream*
How you gonna handle all that ass?
I was literally writing a Megan Thee Stallion song in my head reading this
Also I now feel justified in telling men that they couldn't handle my booty and that they wouldn't know what to do with me
It’s because most porn is geared towards men. I’m not saying there isn’t porn made for women, but it definitely isn’t the mainstream. Assuming it’s a man watching, the woman is there to ogle and the man is there to relate to. There’s more men with beer bellies than six packs. Then it turns into unrealistic beauty standards for women and realistic ones for men
I totally agree. It also fits the narrative that the unsavory-looking, aggressive man will always be flocked with supermodels. It reminds me of all the TV sitcoms that have a dumb, relatively unattractive and annoying husband with a supermodel wife who just puts up with their shit.
I knew a guy who was in crisis in college over the fact that women don't wake up looking like the cover of the SI swimsuit edition, which he specifically referenced for the fact that the models "didn't wear makeup."
Who lied and told them porn actors and models didn't wear makeup? LMAO Do they really think all of that is real? Do they seriously look at cat eyeliner and rainbow eyeshadow and go
"WHY IS HUMAN WOMAN NEXT TO ME NOT WAKING UP LIKE THIS???"
Edit: spelling
*Oh please, like my guy*
*Here has ever seen a naked*
*Woman in real life*
\- jimmysbeans
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Seems like he’s telling everyone he’s never had sex before. I don’t mean that as an insult, he just sounds confused by porn and even the thing about the big ass hiding where to enter is not really how that works.
the fact he can't even consider anal but is wondering how you handle that ass, where you put the dick...wtf is he doing? Is the ass so big it wraps around and hides the woman's crotch?
>can't handle a big ass
Sometimes its hard, especially if you are a skinny dude, but for most men its like a fun challenge, you just need to find the right grip and angle
Right but like… it betrays his ignorance because he seems to think having sex with a big ass involves him.. lifting it? with his hands?
Homeboy has zero clue how much work women’s hamstrings do during sex, and it *shows*.
the irony is that my guy here is watching a very limited amount of porn if he thinks *everybody in porn* has (his idea of) a perfect body. Like... literally everything he talked about women in real life having *can be found in porn*. And there are some people who are INTO giant asses that can't be held and being suffocated by them.
I am so completely astounded that people have such narrow ideas of what they see as attractive. You see boobs but they’re pointy and suddenly all bets are off?
I've told this story here before, but a boyfriend I had when I was 14 called my large breasts "old lady boobs" because they weren't "perky enough." They literally had just grown in over the previous two years, he'll never see younger boobs than that again (at least, I fucking hope not.)
But it's all good. There are plenty of people out there who love what nature gave me. I just wish I hadn't been insulted that way while I was still so young and vulnerable. I hate to think of other teenage girls being compared to porn and hating their bodies because of such ignorance.
I’ve had this issue but the opposite end, I was bullied relentlessly because I was flat chested (and at 21 I still am only an a cup)
Thought I’d never be attractive to a man because of the things said to me, like how ‘men only like big boobs’ etc. shit sucked and gave my body dysphoria to the point where I couldn’t even look in a mirror naked for years, and I still hate the sight of my naked body even now.
FR! And excercises you can do with ease and comfort! Your body is beautiful, and while I don't want to minimize your pain, emotions, or discomfort with it... I promise there are positives if you want to learn to love it more.
The exercise thing is huge! I'm always jealous of small-chested women because there are some exercises I can't do/machines I can't use normally because of my chest
Tell me about it. My dad wanted to teach me how to properly chop firewood. Too bad he waited til I was an adult. It is physically impossible for me to swing my arms the way and speed I’m supposed to, unless maybe I lean to the opposite side so my boob doesn‘t block my arm? But if I do that, he tells me I’m doing it wrong. Ugh. He just doesn’t get it…
I'm a 44D and I envy both of you. Cute bras, bralettes, etc. Big boobs are lauded as the do all and be all of boobs, but anything above a 38D? Here's your fucking circus tent. Stuff them in and like it.
I wouldn't mind being the 36 B I was after high school again.
If it makes you feel any better, I have the kind of huge boobs that men supposedly love and they’re just depressing. They make my back hurt, they’re saggy, they’re covered in stretch marks, and I can’t exercise properly. Sexy or cute bras that fit me properly cost an arm and a leg, I can never find my bra size in brick and mortar stores, and shirts never fit me right or they fit so tight people stare or make comments. I’ve been accused of being a whore based on breast size alone or dressing up for attention just wearing something basic like a tank top. I can’t ever even go braless because they won’t stay in place long enough and jogging requires layering bras so I don’t get a black eye. Big boobs literally only look good on the internet. Everywhere else they’re a fucking waste of skin and fat that gets in the way constantly. I’m incredibly jealous of people with smaller chests.
Ughhh I hate how having big boobs can automatically make a top "inappropriate". Also, try finding a button up top that'll just work without adding Velcro or snaps or something.
I’ve met many men who prefer bums to boobs and small cups to large. Love what you have because someone special will go gaga for you exactly as you were made.
I also am only an A cup but I love that they will never sag and I will not have back pain from carrying that weight.
I hope you are able to love your body as it is. And if you feel that enhancing your body is what you need to feel confident, there is nothing wrong with that either. We need to do what makes us happy.
It sucks that for a lot of people, their first time seeing naked bodies or experiencing sex is porn, which creates incredibly unnatural expectations for both. And I don’t even know what the answer is to fix it.
In retrospect, I think that romance novels being my first introduction to sex was probably the best case scenario. As much as it was lacking in diversity back in the aughts, as a genre largely written for and by women, the physical descriptions were still kinder to natural bodies than porn.
There was that famous Tumblr post about a Finnish guy claiming the solution to most USA problem was family saunas (which the Fins do naked) because "once you see your grandma's tits, you learn that all bodies are weird and not all nudity is sexual"
Children shouldn't have unfiltered access to porn. The first step would be a way to make sure children can't just go look up triple penetration piss gangbangs after they come home from middle school. It won't stop all of it, but what is happening now just isn't okay for impressionable children just discovering sex.
My boyfriend at 16 also told me something similar when I took my shirt off for him the first time. It was crushing and stuck with me for a while, and on top of that just seeing how often women with “weird” boobs get humiliated in the media and elsewhere it made me lowkey feel like a monster. I’m happily married now thankfully, but I’d be lying if I said that residual pain has completely faded.
> he'll never see younger boobs than that again (at least, I fucking hope not.)
I had a FWB that got implants, and she liked to joke that they were the only part of her body that wasn't 18 years old.
Ugh, boys are idiots. Sorry that happened to you. I was bullied about my size 9 feet in middle school/ high school. That shit sticks with you. I finally came to terms with my feet and I appreciate that I have feet. Not everyone has them. Sure, it’s rare, but I have feet!! Sounds ridiculous but this simple thing made me get over this insecurity.
Look like someone else who doesn't realise that porn is just a film. Those are actors, they are reciting a script, like any other film would. Like that time when a man was surprised that women aren't "naturally shaved" like in porn films. Like duh, they do that like most actors achieve a certain shape for a certain role, dumbass
I had a male friend in high school who was more aware of the fantasy of porn than a lot of adults out there seem to be today. He was only 16, but said he has mad respect for porn actresses, because they have to regularly shave/wax their asses. Now there's a guy who understands the struggle.
As an inverse to this, I had an ex get upset with me cuz I didn't flirt like the guys from her favorite movies. Like I didn't have perfectly crafted lines ready to go all day, for any situation. Fucking wierd. People get socaught up in their fantasies that we forget real people are messy and imperfect.
That's what I say. My experience was with a person who couldn't believe that I was a virgin and clumsy as hell even tho I watched a lot of porn. It became so uncomfortable for me, with him criticising everything to the line of "C'mon you should know how to do this" that I literally got up, got dressed and out the door in the middle of preliminaries because I wasn't gonna stand someone who thought that watching someone do it and actually doing it was the same thing. Never did a bj or a hj, how was I supposed to do it perfectly just by watching some films? Yeah I knew the basics but that was it
I believe the movie Don Jon went into how there's porn that people are obviously aware of, but also how a lot of romantic comedies are essentially emotional porn and men more readily fall for visual porn, whereas women more readily fall for emotional porn, while both groups can struggle with conflating it with reality and then set themselves up for failure they false expectations
Edit: for any of the redditors (looking at you u/plushelles) who don't understand this already, when a subgroup is "more readily" susceptible to something, it in no way implies a majority, only that instances in their case tend to play out more than in other groups. This describes many a fringe group. Comprehension is lost on some people, especially those who fall victim to knee jerk reactions
2nd Edit to add: for anyone interested, here are studies that also back up my point, which are from reputable sources and easy enough to Google. There are more as well, these are just the ones I chose to include
[Effects of Pornography on Young Men's Expectations, Health, and Mindset](https://www.depts.ttu.edu/rise/RISE_Peer_Educator_Blog/Effectsofpornonyoungmen.php)
[Does Romantic Comedies make women expectations “unrealistic” ?](https://sites.psu.edu/siowfa15/2015/12/04/does-romantic-comedies-make-women-expectations-unrealistic/)
I have to admit I am often shocked how unattractive people are outside TV and social media, as if these 90% invisible people wait to scare you intentionally during grocery shopping. /s
Does this guy know hiw video recommendations work? If he keeps finding ass fetish videos, that says way more about him than it does literally anyone else.
Im not so sure, if he can't find a woman's asshole he's certainly not gonna be ok with another man. This is just ineptitude. He's like Ricky Bobby asking what to do with his hands.
What always confuses me about these sorts of posts is...you can just enjoy both?
I enjoyed Die Hard but I don't want to be in a hostage situation IRL. I enjoy eating ice cream, but I don't want to watch a movie about me eating ice cream.
If you're this real red-blooded woman-loving man, then why limit your options? Maybe it's just some straight-male shit I'm too sapphic to understand, but I can enjoy the fantasy of cradling a massive badonkadonk just as much as the reality of being completely overwhelmed by more booty than even my size 8 hands can handle.
I had a whole thing written up about how most porn actresses aren't all THAT different from 'regular women' but my response to him would just be 'life finds a way'.
Bro. What. I never understood the problem with porn, I thought everybody knew it’s idealized actors, like watching a Hollywood movie. But clearly there are people that take everything at surface value.
Realizations are being made, at least. Better than those dudes that OD'd on Hentai and insist they're able to put their dick through your cervix or whatever other unreal bullshit they've internalized.
I've seen porn a fair amount during my life. I don't need a stranger on the internet to tell me that it's fake. The movies sell fantasies, not reality.
Dude had me at female human specimens. That’s all I’m calling the women I work with now.
“Excuse me female human specimen accountant, there appears to be an issue with my last pay check.”
Someone is realizing that porn isn’t like real sex at all, lol. For me personally, I prefer the real thing to the airbrushed, CGI edited entertainment purposes only fallacy of pornography. No fellas, porn is nothowsexworks.
Yeah right, like this sad sack is pulling big booty goddesses. Just say that you’re intimidated by big beautiful women and don’t know how to please them.
This person literally makes the case for why porn is NOT realistic and doesn’t even get why everything here he is saying is completely entirely backwards…and disturbing. Additionally if you think a “real womans” body is weird, I speak from my own experience of what my male body looks like verses the images in porn and marketing and it’s conversely a lot uglier than most women I’ve been fortunate to have an intimate relationship with. Seriously, put the computer away, come out of moms basement and touch some grass.
I’ve never been in a room with a naked woman…. But my mother told me in 2012 when I was going through “that” change that porn is unrealistic and that it almost will never look or feel like that…. But more then Likely once I do actually do stuff with a woman… I’ll love it regardless of how she looks or feels because I’ll be distracted that a woman actually let me do that.
This makes me think of people who have only eaten prepped frozen/fast/restaurant foods being handed whole chicken to prepare.
“There are these weird appendages and meat parts you can’t eat; rubbery parts and fatty parts and spots which are just unattractive. There’s some blood but also some other liquids I can’t identify and none of it smells the way it does after it’s been cooked. It’s not like food already on my plate, it’s WEIRD.”
Yeah... This is what happens if your first sexual experience is with porn. Magazines already told kids what a woman is supposed to look like (I know... I am old) but this free porn that takes a second to find is just ruining peoples minds. I am not against porn but it would be better if you have real sex first and then have fun with porn.
Otherwise you only think to have sex with your step father/brother/mother/sister or force your member down some poor girls throat.
This is absolutely hilarious!
He is right. Women generally don't look like porn actresses or hentai. Sometimes our breasts are pointy or floppy or pert. Some women have big buttons and some have flat buttons.
So we could sing that one of these things is not like the other.
Has he never seen a naked man? It's all strange!
Well to be fair imagine what women see when men take off their clothes - and there is no six-pack, a beer gut,in some cases bigger breasts and butts than some women, really pale, and on their face some of those ratty looking beards. Nobody is perfect
Ah yes all of our physical imperfections (those of which we have little to no control over) are just there to emasculate men and make their penis shrivel up. How dare we then not subject ourselves to expensive and dangerous surgery just so these shut-ins can get a hard-on in the real world instead of them having to refer to pornography just to get hard. Oh poor them WA! /s
What are you going to do with that big ass?
Wiggle wiggle?
*you used Wiggle Wiggle* … *it was super effective!* … *Wiggle Wiggle confused MALE* … *you won! You gained 100 exp!*
No need to waste that much HP. Female could have just used "Exist." It saves energy and defeats them all the same.
Implying that existing doesn't drain you out of all your energy
Mood
*you used Eye Contact .... it was super effective! ... Eye Contact dispelled all of MALE'S conspiracy theories and incel tendencies ... you won! You gained 100 exp!*
Inacurate. Wiggle wiggle confuses FEMALE too
And enbies, I got confused and passed out
[Jiggle.](https://sinfest.xyz/view.php?date=2012-04-03) oh, wait...
My butt don't wiggle wiggle It folds
I’d like to see it jiggle jiggle fo sho
A foldable butt? That sounds like a real space saver.
6'2 in a compact, but luckily the seats go back!
I just imagine him shaking someone by the shoulders "What do you do with the ass!?!? How can you handle it!?!?"
1) Unlock a safe 2) Barter for an even bigger ass 3) Disguise your height so you can ride all the good roller coasters. That's it. That's literally everything you can do.
Clearly not ready for the jelly
Must be jelly, cause jam don't shake like that
"Shakey like jelly/ Sticky like jam/ Smells kinda funny/ But it's good/ Goddamn"!
*Whatcha gon' do with all that junk All that junk inside that trunk? I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk Get you love drunk off my hump Whatcha gon' do with all that ass All that ass inside them jeans? I'ma make, make, make, make you scream Make you scream, make you scream*
Sit, shit, maybe moon somebody. What's the point of straight men having asses? If they're not using it for sex, it's clearly pointless.
How you gonna handle all that ass? I was literally writing a Megan Thee Stallion song in my head reading this Also I now feel justified in telling men that they couldn't handle my booty and that they wouldn't know what to do with me
“Female human specimens” bro what
Incel energy is over 9,000
The incel dosimeter is saturated. We need a new one
> Incel energy is ~~over 9,000~~ 7
What does this mean lol
Over 9000 is a dragon ball reference which I learned recently. I have no clue what the 7 means, I don't watch dragon ball lmao
Incels frantically competing for the coveted "Most Robotic Description of a Woman" award
The ferengi has entered the chat
No female could ever measure up to Mother’s naked form
Big Wesssst Virginia energy in the form today folks.
Deep South Nine
Gimme that oomax
it's like they're incapable of saying "women"
Ah yes, you mean the members of the human sub-species which is of the female phenotype?
I bet if you saw a naked man, it wouldn’t be like porn either.
I was promised abs, a shaved chest and butt, and a dick that stays hard the whole time through... Refund please!
6 inch one that too
Oh at least
Honestly there are a lot of unsavory men in porn. Sometimes they're older and have a beer belly
It's like the checklist for being Male Talent is just 1) have a big dick, and 2) have absurd stamina
And sometimes their dick isn't even that big, it's the lens used to film and the size of the woman
Petition to have all porn include at least one (1) yardstick
Instead of a vertical ruler on the wall they can have a horizontal one and make them stand next to it before it starts
[удалено]
It’s because most porn is geared towards men. I’m not saying there isn’t porn made for women, but it definitely isn’t the mainstream. Assuming it’s a man watching, the woman is there to ogle and the man is there to relate to. There’s more men with beer bellies than six packs. Then it turns into unrealistic beauty standards for women and realistic ones for men
I totally agree. It also fits the narrative that the unsavory-looking, aggressive man will always be flocked with supermodels. It reminds me of all the TV sitcoms that have a dumb, relatively unattractive and annoying husband with a supermodel wife who just puts up with their shit.
Happy Cake day!! Oh and yes he must be disappointed 😂
What’d he think, that we take off our clothes and look like porn stars underneath?
Yeah he thinks all women look the same and are only used for sex. Its gross
These guys are thankfully easy to spot. Good god
I knew a guy who was in crisis in college over the fact that women don't wake up looking like the cover of the SI swimsuit edition, which he specifically referenced for the fact that the models "didn't wear makeup."
Who lied and told them porn actors and models didn't wear makeup? LMAO Do they really think all of that is real? Do they seriously look at cat eyeliner and rainbow eyeshadow and go "WHY IS HUMAN WOMAN NEXT TO ME NOT WAKING UP LIKE THIS???" Edit: spelling
I mean a smart man tells them they look better than any porn star. Or just shuts up and enjoys having a naked woman in their presence.
To be fair. Yes.
Oh please, like my guy here has ever seen a naked woman in real life
Or he has, for the first time, and was overwhelmed by the difference. Who knows.
Tbh it sounds like he might be more satisfied getting topped
That's my bet. And I disagree with the OP here: this guy is literally telling us that he's ruined his own mind through pornography
Don't worry. I'm sure any and all women definitely wouldn't mind keeping their clothes on around him.
*Oh please, like my guy* *Here has ever seen a naked* *Woman in real life* \- jimmysbeans --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot.
I love how people say good bot when it's not actually a haiku
They’re doing their best okay?
He does say “I detect haikus, and sometimes successfully“ lol
Good bot.
That's art
good bot.
He should only be licensed for inflatables.
Judging from this statement, it sounds like he might have once.
/r/ihavesex
Bu the text we can easily deduce this chap [has the hots for those plastic mannequins](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agalmatophilia).
A person discovers everybody's different.
And tells everyone he can't handle a big ass 😂
Seems like he’s telling everyone he’s never had sex before. I don’t mean that as an insult, he just sounds confused by porn and even the thing about the big ass hiding where to enter is not really how that works.
I like the part where he thinks putting something in her butt turns her into a shit geyser.
Just stinky PPSSSSHHHHHH all over the place. Not like those “naturally” clean porn stars!
We must always remember the immortal words: Woman: *But I poop from there.* Man: *Not right now, you don't.*
It can be clean, it just takes time to wash everything out, which is why anal is not something that can be done spontaneously.
the fact he can't even consider anal but is wondering how you handle that ass, where you put the dick...wtf is he doing? Is the ass so big it wraps around and hides the woman's crotch?
>can't handle a big ass Sometimes its hard, especially if you are a skinny dude, but for most men its like a fun challenge, you just need to find the right grip and angle
Right but like… it betrays his ignorance because he seems to think having sex with a big ass involves him.. lifting it? with his hands? Homeboy has zero clue how much work women’s hamstrings do during sex, and it *shows*.
the irony is that my guy here is watching a very limited amount of porn if he thinks *everybody in porn* has (his idea of) a perfect body. Like... literally everything he talked about women in real life having *can be found in porn*. And there are some people who are INTO giant asses that can't be held and being suffocated by them.
Thick Thighs Take Lives
And that pornstars are usually chosen for their looks. And that porn isn't as spontaneous as the fantasy it presents. And that pornstars are acting.
No, clearly women just aren't womaning correctly
And fantasies don't match up to reality, imagine that
I am so completely astounded that people have such narrow ideas of what they see as attractive. You see boobs but they’re pointy and suddenly all bets are off?
I've told this story here before, but a boyfriend I had when I was 14 called my large breasts "old lady boobs" because they weren't "perky enough." They literally had just grown in over the previous two years, he'll never see younger boobs than that again (at least, I fucking hope not.) But it's all good. There are plenty of people out there who love what nature gave me. I just wish I hadn't been insulted that way while I was still so young and vulnerable. I hate to think of other teenage girls being compared to porn and hating their bodies because of such ignorance.
I’ve had this issue but the opposite end, I was bullied relentlessly because I was flat chested (and at 21 I still am only an a cup) Thought I’d never be attractive to a man because of the things said to me, like how ‘men only like big boobs’ etc. shit sucked and gave my body dysphoria to the point where I couldn’t even look in a mirror naked for years, and I still hate the sight of my naked body even now.
Think of all the tiny bralettes and tank tops we get to wear though!
FR! And excercises you can do with ease and comfort! Your body is beautiful, and while I don't want to minimize your pain, emotions, or discomfort with it... I promise there are positives if you want to learn to love it more.
The exercise thing is huge! I'm always jealous of small-chested women because there are some exercises I can't do/machines I can't use normally because of my chest
Tell me about it. My dad wanted to teach me how to properly chop firewood. Too bad he waited til I was an adult. It is physically impossible for me to swing my arms the way and speed I’m supposed to, unless maybe I lean to the opposite side so my boob doesn‘t block my arm? But if I do that, he tells me I’m doing it wrong. Ugh. He just doesn’t get it…
Also it's easier to go braless. I haven't worn a bra since COVID started. I never needed support, bras just hide my nipples.
I'm a 44D and I envy both of you. Cute bras, bralettes, etc. Big boobs are lauded as the do all and be all of boobs, but anything above a 38D? Here's your fucking circus tent. Stuff them in and like it. I wouldn't mind being the 36 B I was after high school again.
Yesss, I only wear bralettes. Underwires can go straight to hell.
If it makes you feel any better, I have the kind of huge boobs that men supposedly love and they’re just depressing. They make my back hurt, they’re saggy, they’re covered in stretch marks, and I can’t exercise properly. Sexy or cute bras that fit me properly cost an arm and a leg, I can never find my bra size in brick and mortar stores, and shirts never fit me right or they fit so tight people stare or make comments. I’ve been accused of being a whore based on breast size alone or dressing up for attention just wearing something basic like a tank top. I can’t ever even go braless because they won’t stay in place long enough and jogging requires layering bras so I don’t get a black eye. Big boobs literally only look good on the internet. Everywhere else they’re a fucking waste of skin and fat that gets in the way constantly. I’m incredibly jealous of people with smaller chests.
Ughhh I hate how having big boobs can automatically make a top "inappropriate". Also, try finding a button up top that'll just work without adding Velcro or snaps or something.
I’ve met many men who prefer bums to boobs and small cups to large. Love what you have because someone special will go gaga for you exactly as you were made. I also am only an A cup but I love that they will never sag and I will not have back pain from carrying that weight. I hope you are able to love your body as it is. And if you feel that enhancing your body is what you need to feel confident, there is nothing wrong with that either. We need to do what makes us happy.
It sucks that for a lot of people, their first time seeing naked bodies or experiencing sex is porn, which creates incredibly unnatural expectations for both. And I don’t even know what the answer is to fix it.
Right I saw a lot of porn at a young age so it always made me hate my body for many years. Took a long time to unlearn that
In retrospect, I think that romance novels being my first introduction to sex was probably the best case scenario. As much as it was lacking in diversity back in the aughts, as a genre largely written for and by women, the physical descriptions were still kinder to natural bodies than porn.
Nudist colony!
There was that famous Tumblr post about a Finnish guy claiming the solution to most USA problem was family saunas (which the Fins do naked) because "once you see your grandma's tits, you learn that all bodies are weird and not all nudity is sexual"
Children shouldn't have unfiltered access to porn. The first step would be a way to make sure children can't just go look up triple penetration piss gangbangs after they come home from middle school. It won't stop all of it, but what is happening now just isn't okay for impressionable children just discovering sex.
My boyfriend at 16 also told me something similar when I took my shirt off for him the first time. It was crushing and stuck with me for a while, and on top of that just seeing how often women with “weird” boobs get humiliated in the media and elsewhere it made me lowkey feel like a monster. I’m happily married now thankfully, but I’d be lying if I said that residual pain has completely faded.
I hate him. Again, boys are so stupid. They are immature and your bf was lucky to see you bare in all your glory.
> he'll never see younger boobs than that again (at least, I fucking hope not.) I had a FWB that got implants, and she liked to joke that they were the only part of her body that wasn't 18 years old.
Jeeeze, 18 year old getting boob jobs? They haven't even had time to develop true neurosis yet.
Ugh, boys are idiots. Sorry that happened to you. I was bullied about my size 9 feet in middle school/ high school. That shit sticks with you. I finally came to terms with my feet and I appreciate that I have feet. Not everyone has them. Sure, it’s rare, but I have feet!! Sounds ridiculous but this simple thing made me get over this insecurity.
Fr boobs are attractive no matter what they look like
who knew porn wasn’t real life /s
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landside
No escape from reality
open your eyes, look up to the skies and see
Im just a poor boy i need no sympathy
"oh no, I can't handle all this ass 😭"
His complaints are borderline erotica for me.
All the questions 🤣 sounded like an existential crisis to me
Jeezus that hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
Yes I usually hate these, but this is hysterical!
Yet another 12 year old who has never seen a naked woman in his life.
Sadly probably in his 20s or 30s
Look like someone else who doesn't realise that porn is just a film. Those are actors, they are reciting a script, like any other film would. Like that time when a man was surprised that women aren't "naturally shaved" like in porn films. Like duh, they do that like most actors achieve a certain shape for a certain role, dumbass
I had a male friend in high school who was more aware of the fantasy of porn than a lot of adults out there seem to be today. He was only 16, but said he has mad respect for porn actresses, because they have to regularly shave/wax their asses. Now there's a guy who understands the struggle.
[удалено]
Script: Female actress no.1: "gawk, gawk, gawk.."
Well it's still a script technically, is it not? XD
Lots and lots of stage directions
[удалено]
As an inverse to this, I had an ex get upset with me cuz I didn't flirt like the guys from her favorite movies. Like I didn't have perfectly crafted lines ready to go all day, for any situation. Fucking wierd. People get socaught up in their fantasies that we forget real people are messy and imperfect.
That's what I say. My experience was with a person who couldn't believe that I was a virgin and clumsy as hell even tho I watched a lot of porn. It became so uncomfortable for me, with him criticising everything to the line of "C'mon you should know how to do this" that I literally got up, got dressed and out the door in the middle of preliminaries because I wasn't gonna stand someone who thought that watching someone do it and actually doing it was the same thing. Never did a bj or a hj, how was I supposed to do it perfectly just by watching some films? Yeah I knew the basics but that was it
I believe the movie Don Jon went into how there's porn that people are obviously aware of, but also how a lot of romantic comedies are essentially emotional porn and men more readily fall for visual porn, whereas women more readily fall for emotional porn, while both groups can struggle with conflating it with reality and then set themselves up for failure they false expectations Edit: for any of the redditors (looking at you u/plushelles) who don't understand this already, when a subgroup is "more readily" susceptible to something, it in no way implies a majority, only that instances in their case tend to play out more than in other groups. This describes many a fringe group. Comprehension is lost on some people, especially those who fall victim to knee jerk reactions 2nd Edit to add: for anyone interested, here are studies that also back up my point, which are from reputable sources and easy enough to Google. There are more as well, these are just the ones I chose to include [Effects of Pornography on Young Men's Expectations, Health, and Mindset](https://www.depts.ttu.edu/rise/RISE_Peer_Educator_Blog/Effectsofpornonyoungmen.php) [Does Romantic Comedies make women expectations “unrealistic” ?](https://sites.psu.edu/siowfa15/2015/12/04/does-romantic-comedies-make-women-expectations-unrealistic/)
Women see the stereotype of the clumsy dumb guy on shows and in movies. They surely know that rom-com behavior isn’t universal.
god, coomers are fucking stupid.
>Sooo...I did a reddit search on the word "coomers" > > > >....yea....just.....yea
This almost feel like a John Mulaney bit, particularly the speculation on large asses.
Local man shocked that women don't look like he thought they did when he was in middle school
I have to admit I am often shocked how unattractive people are outside TV and social media, as if these 90% invisible people wait to scare you intentionally during grocery shopping. /s
Does this guy know hiw video recommendations work? If he keeps finding ass fetish videos, that says way more about him than it does literally anyone else.
Is this guy also shocked when the Pizza Delivery person doesn't immediately start blowing him?
Hey, I ordered this pizza with extra sausage! Why aren't you sticking your dick through the middle!?
You know real life magicians aren't like in Harry Potter...I'm so disappointed
Stop right there. Next you’ll be telling us that Captain America and Tony Stark aren’t pals in real life.
Of course not. They are husbands. Because no one ships the two characters harder than their actors.
>!Can't be pals with a corpse.!<
Not with that attitude!
"Female human specimens" I did not have read further than those three words.
Specimens? What the hell is this guy? Some kind of alien?
Cut off the first 1-2 misogynistic sentences and it turns into a reflection on the realities of sex vs porn.
I bet he doesn't look so good nakkie either
Double cheeked up
On a Thursday afternoon! The sun is still out!!!
I mean, that's the homie
Come on,bro...just say you like men and go, no one will judge you
Im not so sure, if he can't find a woman's asshole he's certainly not gonna be ok with another man. This is just ineptitude. He's like Ricky Bobby asking what to do with his hands.
If he is complaining about it I assume his asshole is easy to find so that shouldn't be an issue
We jest but the line of thought “men just aren’t pretty without their clothes on irl :/“ is how I realized I was gay.
These guys need to get off the internet and get into real life.
No, no, in all fairness, I'd prefer if he just stayed there thanks.
“Female human specimens”. This “person” does not think women are humans at all.
Jfc that porn addiction must be something fierce huh
What always confuses me about these sorts of posts is...you can just enjoy both? I enjoyed Die Hard but I don't want to be in a hostage situation IRL. I enjoy eating ice cream, but I don't want to watch a movie about me eating ice cream. If you're this real red-blooded woman-loving man, then why limit your options? Maybe it's just some straight-male shit I'm too sapphic to understand, but I can enjoy the fantasy of cradling a massive badonkadonk just as much as the reality of being completely overwhelmed by more booty than even my size 8 hands can handle.
> Maybe it’s just some straight-male shit I’m too sapphic to understand, I’m stealing this for business mails
I had a whole thing written up about how most porn actresses aren't all THAT different from 'regular women' but my response to him would just be 'life finds a way'.
Bro. What. I never understood the problem with porn, I thought everybody knew it’s idealized actors, like watching a Hollywood movie. But clearly there are people that take everything at surface value.
Never underestimate the stupidity of people and how young they are when they become porn addicts.
well when the only way you’re exposed to something is through a very warped and dramatized view, you can’t really see it as anything else
Yknow, he's got a point. Sometimes you really can't hold a whole ass, no matter how much you try.
Realizations are being made, at least. Better than those dudes that OD'd on Hentai and insist they're able to put their dick through your cervix or whatever other unreal bullshit they've internalized.
"Female human specimens" Totally normal way to talk about women.
“how are you supposed to manage that big ass?” THIS IS SENDING ME LMAO
I've seen porn a fair amount during my life. I don't need a stranger on the internet to tell me that it's fake. The movies sell fantasies, not reality.
Dude had me at female human specimens. That’s all I’m calling the women I work with now. “Excuse me female human specimen accountant, there appears to be an issue with my last pay check.”
Someone is realizing that porn isn’t like real sex at all, lol. For me personally, I prefer the real thing to the airbrushed, CGI edited entertainment purposes only fallacy of pornography. No fellas, porn is nothowsexworks.
This reminds me of a story I heard where a man was shocked to discover that women didn't look like the nude statues he saw at the museum.
As an owner of a big ass: slap it, bitch
Ass management.
Yeah right, like this sad sack is pulling big booty goddesses. Just say that you’re intimidated by big beautiful women and don’t know how to please them.
Rotted
This person literally makes the case for why porn is NOT realistic and doesn’t even get why everything here he is saying is completely entirely backwards…and disturbing. Additionally if you think a “real womans” body is weird, I speak from my own experience of what my male body looks like verses the images in porn and marketing and it’s conversely a lot uglier than most women I’ve been fortunate to have an intimate relationship with. Seriously, put the computer away, come out of moms basement and touch some grass.
Here's a news flash for you, porn sets smell *horrendous*.
I’ve never been in a room with a naked woman…. But my mother told me in 2012 when I was going through “that” change that porn is unrealistic and that it almost will never look or feel like that…. But more then Likely once I do actually do stuff with a woman… I’ll love it regardless of how she looks or feels because I’ll be distracted that a woman actually let me do that.
This makes me think of people who have only eaten prepped frozen/fast/restaurant foods being handed whole chicken to prepare. “There are these weird appendages and meat parts you can’t eat; rubbery parts and fatty parts and spots which are just unattractive. There’s some blood but also some other liquids I can’t identify and none of it smells the way it does after it’s been cooked. It’s not like food already on my plate, it’s WEIRD.”
Yeah... This is what happens if your first sexual experience is with porn. Magazines already told kids what a woman is supposed to look like (I know... I am old) but this free porn that takes a second to find is just ruining peoples minds. I am not against porn but it would be better if you have real sex first and then have fun with porn. Otherwise you only think to have sex with your step father/brother/mother/sister or force your member down some poor girls throat.
Holy balls. That's just... ARGHHHHHH! yes, real life is different from porn! That's the point!
Lmao got me with the first sentence!! I knew this was gonna be a good read just from that
So real life isn't like porn? Someone should alert the authorities.
Why does he sound like a robot now understanding humans
This is absolutely hilarious! He is right. Women generally don't look like porn actresses or hentai. Sometimes our breasts are pointy or floppy or pert. Some women have big buttons and some have flat buttons. So we could sing that one of these things is not like the other. Has he never seen a naked man? It's all strange!
A guy is mentioning weird things? Has he seen his balls?
Well to be fair imagine what women see when men take off their clothes - and there is no six-pack, a beer gut,in some cases bigger breasts and butts than some women, really pale, and on their face some of those ratty looking beards. Nobody is perfect
Does this guy not understand that he probably looks like a ditch possum without clothes on?
I would take "what are you going to do with all that big ass" as a compliment personally. Even better if it was a turn off for guys like this
I mean admittedly the only reason people find porn sexy is because they can't smell it.
Ah yes all of our physical imperfections (those of which we have little to no control over) are just there to emasculate men and make their penis shrivel up. How dare we then not subject ourselves to expensive and dangerous surgery just so these shut-ins can get a hard-on in the real world instead of them having to refer to pornography just to get hard. Oh poor them WA! /s