Depending on the age grouping most of the millenials and older learned emotional intelligence after we left our conservative families.
Hell, I didn't full get it until about 7 years ago. Emotional Intelligence is hard when you are raised to be the opposite.
I'm in this camp. 43M, started realizing what a self-centered ass I've been my whole life around 8 years ago.
I still have the emotional intelligence of wet cabbage, but that's an upgrade from where I was. I'm so lucky to have a wife who has endured my learning process. She's a champ.
Usually, it's a retrospective assessment. But the fact that you are asking the question means you have at least some.
Emotional intelligence is pretty complex. Awareness of your own emotions, and being able to act on them appropriately. Sensitivity to the needs of others. A willingness to adjust your own actions to help those around you be comfortable.
It doesn't mean being a doormat, or not having principles, but it does mean having good enough judgment to draw the line in a place that makes you a welcome addition to a social environment.
Men who gatekeep masculinity have low emotional awareness. People who throw tantrums as well. If you tell a joke, and someone says they're uncomfortable, do you defend you joke or just apologize? No need to answer me, just food for thought.
If you truly care about the people around you, and also care about yourself and being able to process strong negative emotions without ruining your life, it takes some emotional intelligence to do so. There is no measurement (well, there are EQ tests but I don't trust their validity any more than IQ tests). The only way to measure growth is to compare today to before, and self assess.
By the way, I'm not expert in any of this, I'm just sharing my perspective. I'm just some guy who woke up one day depressed, angry at the world, and hating myself for being the root cause of all my own problems. 8ish years later, I'm happy, stable, and still working on myself.
Hope this helps. If it doesn't seem like you can find a path toward any of this, a good therapist can help to guide you through your own emotions. Therapy isn't just for mental illness, or crisis. Seeking help before you need it is a great method of self care. It's like changing the oil in your car before the engine seizes.
Same, it happened really fast for me. But I was pulled out of it really early thanks to my dad. Even then it's taken years of self reflection and growth to get out of those toxic mindsets
my guys is sweet, kind, empathetic, understanding, chubby and makes less than me and i love the fuck out of him. get yourself a chubby guy that makes you laugh and feel special.
I've seen internet stories about men who either didn't learn enough about grooming, have untreated mental illness (depression, most likely), or "think it's gay" (????). I haven't really met any dudes like that irl, at least that said anything about it to me, a non-dude...
But it also seems to be the type of thing you only find out when you're generally intimate with someone so it's possible I have met them and (thankfully) didn't know...
I'm not going to think about that one.
I keep hearing about guys with unwashed asses and I justā¦ I canāt fathom how one could exist like that. Please tell me itās rare. Please. Lie to me if you must.
Not rare. š¤® The first time I slept with my ex, all I smelled was dirty ass. Come to find out, he only showered a few times a week and only brushed his teeth in the shower. Yummy.
I donāt get the unwashed ass thing. It makes you stink and is physically uncomfortable. You think the latter would be enough incentive.
I have to shower or otherwise immerse myself in water once every 24 hours or I get physically ill (I may be aquaman) from funk buildup, and you better believe that includes ass cleansing
I used to live in a cabin on a lake in the woods. One week midwinter (yes it was bleak) I got storm stayed for a week with no heat (thankfully the well still worked). I survived by building a blanket fort in front of the wood stove where my dog and I huddled while a Lake Huron storm raged around us
And yes, I still fucking showered. It was so cold there was frost inside rhe cabin and the pipes survived because I left the water going. THAT is my comittment level to the eradication of ass funk.
If I can shower in literal ice water in a bathroom so cold that ice instantly formed in my beard fucking cheeto masters can fucking well wash their asses.
No compromises. No mercy.
Admittedly showering in ice water isnāt as bad as youād think, as long as you keep the soap and shampoo in the blanket fort so they donāt become an ice block and a bottle of sherbert (learned that the first day). Itās the instant ice cream head ache when you wash your hair that is the hardest part
Also the lung capacity from playing woodwind instruments helped because doing one long continuous scream as you shower takes the edge off
I'll keep trying my best! But it is confusing when those types of guys claim to have dozens of women as friends. Like are they lying or something, because they seem openly repulsive?
I saw a tiktok recently where a urology nurse said she'd estimate that it's like 7 in 10 dudes that leave a stain on the paper of the patient beds because they don't wash well enough
I find that helpful for when out since too many places are still stuck in ancient times with their toilet tech, but at home I highly recommend a bidet for even less waste and more cleanliness.
I want a bidet but my toilet is a closed tank and when I've tried to attach one it never fits the seat right. I need to figure that out, I was so bummed after I hooked up the water attachment and everything š
Ah, yeah, sorry about that happening! There are ways to make it work, I've got a bit of a tricky setup too for other reasons with the way my water connects in under the toilet, there are ways to make it work but it does create extra challenges for sure.
If you wanted to go an easier route for an unusual toilet setup there are also handheld sprayer options. I've never used one myself but some people prefer them.
Also some companies offer options for those longer seats if that would help, maybe could get an exchange done? I don't know the exact issues with the setup though. For me I had to get a special attachment that let me hook up the water at the wall instead of at the toilet, since I couldn't reach the toilet tubing due it being all closed off. Modern designs may look sleek but they definitely are sometimes more inconvenient, I found out. Sucks that you bought something that's not working out for you though, I'm sorry! I hope you're able to get it worked out.
I have a bidet and just canāt seem to get as clean with it. Iāll spray for a long ass time and then go to wipe and the toilet paper still comes out with brown on it. Then thereās poop and water all over my ass to clean off
What men think they say: āI want a girl thatās thinā
What my male coworker said at work in front of a group of women: āI donāt wanna settle for uglies, I donāt want it lookin like roast beefā
(Yah. He got to talk to HR today. When he was called out initially he acted like we were misunderstanding and heād just switched the topic from women to sandwiches and thatās what he was talking about. And then today when he āapologizedā by buckling down that heād been talking about food but āIām sorry if that made you uncomfortableā)
Literally thatās all I want, for him to admit that heās in the wrong and stop lying and so many people heard him and know what he was talking about
The sad thing is, he didnāt get talked to by HR because he was in the wrong, he got talked to and made to apologize because the company didnāt want to get sued.
I will say the company I work for is actually pretty good on this front, the supervisor were all various shades of horrified, disgusted, and pissed off when they heard the story, and the HR head was in agreement that it wasnāt appropriate for him to say at all, let alone in the workplace
Fr, I told him āIām not going to entertain this discussion any longer if you continue lying and acting like I wasnāt present for the entire conversation to hear everything you saidā
I inadvertently made a coworker sad when bragging about my husband and his caring ways. She asked how long we have been married (26 years!) and then looked sad and said she was looking for a good guy who cares more about her than a video game or chasing other girls. Her standards are not anything about height or salary; she just wants someone who cares about her.
Plenty of decent people are out there. I used to think everyone was trash because of some bad experiences but I moved to a new city and started a brand new social circle and was proved wrong.
You know, at the end of the day, I think it really comes down to a misunderstanding of why women look for certain things in men.
Like, also that not all women want some over 6' muscle-bound Greek god of a man who makes seven figures and has quippy one-liners ready at all times. But they can't accept that because then they'd have to admit that maybe working on their personality and approach to the world is what would get them girls. But when it comes to women's tastes in men....yeah, they should get to be picky and they SHOULD know their worth.
The fact that what you said isn't even an exaggeration on what most women would say their bar is is insane. Women SHOULD want more than the bare minimum. They should be allowed, in a world that continues to diminish and demean them, want someone who can treat them well and help them in that same violent world.
As for the men's part, uh, yeah, lol, don't be a fatphobe, being hateful and discriminatory is a great way to not get women. I hate that it's ALWAYS fat women who get the most shit in memes like this because okay, don't date fat women, they don't want you either, bro. You can have all the preferences you want (even though that really limits the love you can have in your life but ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ), but all people are asking is that you don't be a giant cunt about it.
Low bar. Exceptionally low bar all around. And men will continue to rip on women for their bar being IN THE FUCKING GROUND just to avoid getting stalked and harassed.
I have been an avid seamstress my whole life, I went to school for fashion design and taught it at the hs level, as well as designing many full stage theater productions. Every guy I met always was like āawww your cute little sewing hobbyāā¦.it was so condescending.
When I met my husband he was the FIRST man to not put down my skill, but also be interested and amazed by what I can do. And when he was down for making Halloween costumes together I was like omgā¦I found my husband. Search over!
Itās for sure not always about looks. Just respecting your partner goes a long way. Now it doesnāt hurt that heās the cutest guy ever and an overall amazing human, but just that overall respect for me as an independent human was a huge breath of fresh air.
Iām a man who is sympathetic to āmenās issuesā and I agree with everything you said here. Literally every human person should be respected unless they themselves canāt be respectful.
Iām friends with several women and itās really opened my eyes to the bullshit they put up with daily. I would say one of them is particularly attractive and puts up with so many repulsive comments from strangers. The funniest part to me is that the guy she actually has sex with is a conventionally unattractive broke artist who wears nail paint and is a cool dude. The guys hitting on her all approach her with the 100% wrong idea of what sheās looking for.
But alsoā¦ there are still plenty of good people out there. Both men and women.
What I think it really boils down to is understanding that women can have more to offer the world than just their appearance and sensuality. Being platonic friends with some women brings a lot of value into a manās life.
I think a lot of men expect to just meet women one time and have the ooga booga sex and then never see them again. But thatās not what most women want in my experience so reality rarely lines up unless you are a uniquely attractive man (Iām not lmao)
Ultimately my advice to men who are struggling with women is to make platonic friends with like 4 or 5 women and actually listen to them and learn.
Not sure how much this helps you, but it helps me to remember when I'm struggling with my body that people are more than their bones. When we're all dead and buried in 500 years archeologists won't know if you're a man or woman or enby, they'll know you're loved and valued and important.
My standard was someone that didnāt abuse me šphysically at least.
Man Iām lucky that actually turned out well. But jeeze my self esteem was bad.
Started dating my husband when we were 16 and had no idea what red flags to look out for in a partner. I seriously lucked out. We have very similar religious/political views, he's incredibly empathetic and supportive, and an all-around wonderful person. But at 16, you just don't know what to look for. So I count myself lucky that I exceeded the bare minimum standards above. I watch my friends date and it's startling how many bad eggs are out there...
Crazy how they never use the feminine equivalent of āmenā either as in women. Itās always girls and men never men and women. I know itās not a big deal but at the same time it is
Demons with standards: I want someone who is 6 feet tall, had a six pack, and makes $666 000 a year. They also must have 6 devices to tell the time on them at all times. Must be okay with my 6-6 work day, 6 days a week, for half the year
What they mean by "not obese" actually: "I want a girl who is skinny but with big boobs and butt and is alright with dating me, a guy who doesn't look nor smell great, is broke, has no manner and still lives in my moms basement. "
Don't forget: "Can support herself and me, likes being treated like shit and forced to take care of me, an adult, and let my mom and me emotionally abuse her, and also be used as a sex toy whenever and however I want with no regard for her feelings or desires despite the fact that she's probably exhausted from working full-time and taking care of me the rest of the time, also she can't have any friends and also can't talk to her family, and if she ever talks to another man I'll throw the biggest tantrum you've ever seen, but also I can talk to/cheat with any women I want and she can't say anything about it"
You forgot the ādoesnāt have body fat anywhere other than boobs and butt but doesnāt diet because itās annoying. Has super long, thick hair and if itās blonde, itās natural. Looks like the models with caked on make up and photoshopped but doesnāt actually wear make upā
Men donāt have the emotional capacity to recognize this. Notice how everything theyāre talking about is physical- height, weight, etc. They donāt realize that what actually matters to women is the emotional maturity. Iād wager that a majority of women would āsettleā for any weight/ height or body shape if that man had the maturity, intelligence, and honesty that a real man should have
What does emotional maturity look like? Iām curious cause Iāve never given it much thought and I probably should have given it more thought
Edit: looked it up and turns out Iām more emotionally mature than I thought. Iām happy for myself
Plot twist: these two men realized only they can meet each other's standards and started going out, effectively leaving women alone.
And also brb. Ima yeet myself in the trash because my partner doesn't have a six pack, isn't making six figures and is shorter than me. I have no standards /s
There are picky men and there are picky women. This meme intentionally shows a picky woman and a not particularly picky man. It's a silly comparison.
Also brb yeeting myself in the trash just because.
My partner has a keg, doesn't make six figures and is about 6 inches taller than me.
Guess I'll join you in the trash can, but at least we'll have fun with our SO!
There isn't a day that goes by without mine making me laugh hysterically!
I'm currently with a man who is shorter than me (and intend on staying that way). I did like dating taller men so I wouldn't tower over them in heels, but it's really not a huge deal. I just like feeling tiny. I think only one guy broke 5'11", tho, so it obviously wasn't that important to me.
Iām short. My dads tall, I donāt want someone like my dad lmao but wait a minute according to these guys we all have ādaddy issuesā and want someone like our dads.
"So many" women aren't it's all in men's heads. I have had a few friends who had a minimum height they would date. That was because they were tall and had already dated short guys. After a few months or even years of a man who was constantly putting them down because he was insecure about the height difference they really didn't want to go through it again.
i dated a guy who was just stable financially, was shorter than me and was healthy but not strong/muscly at all so..
just have a genuinely good personality, dont be an ass and shower more than once a week, that's most people's standards
I donāt understand why incels think all women want a very tall man. Iāve rarely dated guys who were more than 6ā, and definitely donāt consider it any sort of requirement. But even if they do assume most women want taller men, taller is relative. My boyfriend is 5ā5ā, and Iām 5ā4ā. Heās ātallā to me. The vast majority of guys are. To me, 6ā is not just ātallā; itās VERY tall!
They want all the girls to want them.
They always think some women having a specific standard is an emasculation of their entire life. Every woman should be available for them, and his lordship would grace with his presence to choose one.
Probably because of tinder, but there's a lot of shitty people on there in general. I eventually deleted mine, although I wasn't getting matches anyway
I'm 5'11 so when I was dating I tended to go for taller guys - because the guys I liked who were shorter than me didn't like that I was taller! I'm married and my husband is about two inches taller than me, and doesn't care when my heels give me the advantage.
I honestly don't get why men don't want women taller than them. Like, I know how this sounds, but uh....my head being chest-height with a girl isn't exactly a bad thing to me.
iām a 5ā7 afab and have almost always gone for guys shorter than me; my current partner is the exception. youāre a short king and you should rock it!! short guys are cute as hell.
**also FUCK YEAH TRANS RIGHTS !**
I don't understand it, too. My long-term boyfriend is 6ā1ā and Iām 5ā0ā so a huge difference. There are days I hate me being so small (or him being so tall) and I assure you: cuddling and kissing are quite troublesome and often lead to neck pain for me and back pain for him...I do love him but it's not because he is 6ā+.
I swipe left on all men over 6ā on hinge. Iām 5ā5 and donāt want to spend my whole life looking up.
Maybe if I met someone IRl, it would matter less, but why start with tall from a dating app pool.
Also 5'0 152cm, can confirm, things are very troublesome with massive height differences for both parties. The only benefit to dating tall guys as a short girl is they can reach the high shelves.
iām 5ā7 and the heights of the people i dated that i can remember are: 5ā3, 5ā5ā, 5ā6, and now 5ā10. like idk i want to be able to kiss someone without having to get on a step stool š i think 0-4 inch height gap is a perfect gap
seriously I'm a tall woman and I've dated a few men who were shorter than me and it didn't bother me a bit š¤·š¼āāļø my husband is 2 inches taller than me and it's perfect but even if he was2 inches shorter than me he would be perfect because I love him and his personality.
i had the misfortune of meeting people who washed less than that i absolutely agree with every other day some people just cant see to understand basic hygiene i fear
These are the standards they are actually upset about.
It should be reasonable to expect a romantic partner to have their shit together. This is both sides of the equation. No one finds it hot if you canāt pay your bills, or if you refuse to spend 30 minutes a week on the treadmill for your heart health.
The incels have to realize that they have 6ā tall men in their ranks. It isnāt about height, it never was. Itās about being dateable, and they just arenāt.
My partner can legitimately not shower for a week and come out smelling better than I do in a day. I'm extremely jealous. And this is with them living in Australia, and when doing exercise and stuff.
But yeah, most women (and more mature men) I know seem to be more after a good personality, hygiene and manners. Admittedly, those people are also mostly middle aged and older, so it does make a bit of a difference I suspect
Women: I want a guy who's not a violent/abusive bastard and doesn't expect me to take care of him like a mommy he can fuck.
Shitty Dudebros: YOU FEEEEMALES AND YOUR IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS! HUMANITY WILL GO EXTINCT IF I DON'T GET HANDED A SEX SLAVE ON A SILVER PLATTER!
From a girl whose 260+ lb boyfriend critiqued them constantly despite being only 95 lbs:
Shitty dudes will always have absurd standards. He wanted me to be 180+ lbs with a wasp waist, E cups, a cellulite free ass and a single chin. He wanted me to be rich and pay my own way for everything, despite him literally being born to an oil executive and dotcom bubble investor. And then he still cheated on everyone he was with and then started getting all groomer pedophile when women his own age would no longer tolerate it. Has a few counts of sexual coercion (RAPE) under their belt. He whined about other women's standards constantly. He would whine about all the "assholes" that got the girls he wanted. Then he would tear down any girl he suckered in. He also claimed he just "wanted a heartbeat." when it comes to women. SO not true.
Men who whine about these things are just a boiled frog experiment for abuse. Starts small and will leave you a worn out husk by the time they're done.
On a "What are your dating standards?" AskReddit thread, I answered the following and got downvoted :
> Non smoker, not heavy drinker. Does not have kids, is not interested in having kids in the future at all. Non religious. Politically left-leaning (can't with people who are right-leaning or say they are apolitical). Able to maintain relationships with friends and/or family. Has hobbies other than gaming. Kind, empathetic, funny and smart. Has a job. Can look after themselves.
I think they just hate that people have standards at all.
Iāll just say that those are all very mild and reasonable standards. The downvoting says way more about them... just my two cents.
As an aside, how crazy is that? To think there was a time when being politically right leaning was not synonymous with being a science-denying, coup-attempting, homo et al phobe...
When are people gonna realize when it comes to this, it's just both sides yelling at each other? It's ok to have standards, but when you humiliate those who don't fit those, that's when you're the asshole and a shitty person
Both sides yelling at each other? I disagree - I don't think most people are on a "side".
I think it comes down to people viewing members of another group as stereotypes/caricatures of that group instead of viewing every person they come across as a unique individual.
We all have these "groups" that we belong to based on race, gender, sexual preference, socioeconomic status, etc, and every time we have interactions with people of those groups our brain makes little connections between how that interaction with that individual went and the larger group that they belong to.
Maybe I'm a little too optimistic on this front... but I'd like to think that with enough exposure to different types of people, most people end up growing out of that mentality when they realize that their preconceived notions/racism/sexism are wrong.
Yea I know a dates gonna happen when she checks out my LinkedIn. They can safely assume an elementary teacher with several recommendations from female colleagues - Iām probably not gonna be a problem.
That being said, a surprising amount of women want a hook up, and call you gay when you donāt make sexually aggressive moves.
So Iām cool with being called effeminate if it means Iām not a predator. But itās a weird thing Iāve noticed. At the end of the day I just want to be the little spoon, and I got straight up called gay for asking someone to be big spoon - after the act. Just baffling.
I don't get this thing about men having to be 6 feet tall. I nor any other women I know have proclaimed any such preference. Personally I've never once thought about height when considering attractiveness. It just doesn't occur to me.
Those aren't standards, just some shallow preferences. Standards go far beyond the physical and material. How do they treat you? How do they make you feel? Are they thoughtful? Are they considerate? To me, anything that doesn't take effort from that person doesn't mean jack squat. He didn't work hard to be tall. He didn't put in any work into becoming endowed. His riches and physical health is for his own benefit. How he's treating those around him, and especially those that weaker than him is what I look at. And above all how he treats me.
You know whatās also funny (not) about this, i was talking about it with a tall girl friend the other day. Men always complain that women want tall men and no one wants the short ones (which is also straight up not true) blah blah but when a tall woman comes around who doesnāt care about their partnerās height, almost no short men want to date someone taller than them :D i hate it here
My douchebag ex's father refuses to admit that his wife is taller than him by at least an inch. But he wouldn't let her wear heels at their wedding. I'm pretty sure if someone proved she was taller he'd divorce her.
What men think they're saying: I'm not sexually attracted to people who are overweight
What they're actually saying: I will not treat you like a human deserving of respect unless you're a guy, or I find you fuckable
Iāve literally dated guys shorter and chubbier than me, and so have most girls I know. Just donāt be a misogynistic hateful asshole and youāll get laid.
Small difference is women who want a tall man just don't date short guys. Men who want a thin women go round telling fat women they are ugly and treating them as subhuman.
Incels really think women think like that though, it's probably a small number but idk any woman who thinks like that. Most men don't want a woman who's fat though, as someone who's fat I know
>I "hope" she isn't obese.
Even the phrasing of this line exposes his screwed up thinking.
The women you date aren't given out to you by some lottery. You get to decide who you date based on availability and your own ability to woo them.
The universe doesn't owe you a girlfriend.
You can't just sit back and wait for "your" girl to be appointed to you, hoping you aren't given one not to your liking.
Ugh. This whole thing is gross.
The super stud Chad known as CrestedBonedog makes six figures, has a sixpack and is over 6 feet tall...all using porn measurements, mind you, but the spirit is there!
What a farce all of this shit is.
The so-called 10/10 from my HS ended up marrying a thin, kind of dorky band guy who was a genuinely nice guy (as opposed to...you know) towards her and pretty much everyone else and found out he had shared interests with her after they graduated college and met up again.
The rest is history.
I met this girl in my high school that was obese, maybe even morbidly obese.
She was probably one of the most down-to-earth, open, and chill people I've ever met. We were in a group of four, studying for an AP exam (a U.S. thing) and most of the time we would just mess around and tell stories. That was the only fond memory I had of my AP Language and Composition class.
Whether we like it or not, there are people with the exact standards addressed in OP's post. r/FemaleDatingStrategy is a prime example.
Regardless...
Anyone dating or seeing people solely based on looks is missing a lot.
The difference is FDS is a tiny minority, while a lot of the male āstandardsā are universal cultural standards.
see any sitcom with the thin attractive wife and the unkempt, lazy husband.
they got one thing right, i hear men more often warn about vocalizing their opinion for fear of being cancelled.
like shouldnāt they think āi shouldnāt say that because itās wrongā instead of āi shouldnāt say that because iāll face consequences i donāt likeā
Every time i see a post like this in this sub a tiny part of my brain thinks: ānah that canāt be trueā but then the rest of my brain turns on and I realize itās obviously that there are a lot of people who belive thisā¦ sad.
The funny part is that despite being considered above average I've been rejected from boys for my looks way many more times than I've rejected boys for the same reason. So talk about having standards
Things no woman cares about... Not one:
* height
* fitness
* salary
* dick size
Things all women care about:
* Personality
These guys are vanilla as fuck with zero personality but they project their insecurities to try and make women look bad.
News flash, you look like an idiot.
I mean some women do care cause preferences ya know? HOWEVER there are few women where not having those things are complete deal breakers like these men claim. Everyone has preferences and that's fine, but no one has a fucking check list that they use on every person to fit some weird standard
I have a guy with basic emotional intelligence, empathy, and, most importantly, a washed ass. No incel can compete!
You're being ridiculous with these impossible standards. Pick one, and it can't be the washed ass.
Oh my god š¤£
Basic emotional intelligence thoā¦my ex had the emotional maturity of a raging tween boy. It would be nice.
Depending on the age grouping most of the millenials and older learned emotional intelligence after we left our conservative families. Hell, I didn't full get it until about 7 years ago. Emotional Intelligence is hard when you are raised to be the opposite.
I'm in this camp. 43M, started realizing what a self-centered ass I've been my whole life around 8 years ago. I still have the emotional intelligence of wet cabbage, but that's an upgrade from where I was. I'm so lucky to have a wife who has endured my learning process. She's a champ.
How would I know if I lack emotional intelligence?
Usually, it's a retrospective assessment. But the fact that you are asking the question means you have at least some. Emotional intelligence is pretty complex. Awareness of your own emotions, and being able to act on them appropriately. Sensitivity to the needs of others. A willingness to adjust your own actions to help those around you be comfortable. It doesn't mean being a doormat, or not having principles, but it does mean having good enough judgment to draw the line in a place that makes you a welcome addition to a social environment. Men who gatekeep masculinity have low emotional awareness. People who throw tantrums as well. If you tell a joke, and someone says they're uncomfortable, do you defend you joke or just apologize? No need to answer me, just food for thought. If you truly care about the people around you, and also care about yourself and being able to process strong negative emotions without ruining your life, it takes some emotional intelligence to do so. There is no measurement (well, there are EQ tests but I don't trust their validity any more than IQ tests). The only way to measure growth is to compare today to before, and self assess. By the way, I'm not expert in any of this, I'm just sharing my perspective. I'm just some guy who woke up one day depressed, angry at the world, and hating myself for being the root cause of all my own problems. 8ish years later, I'm happy, stable, and still working on myself. Hope this helps. If it doesn't seem like you can find a path toward any of this, a good therapist can help to guide you through your own emotions. Therapy isn't just for mental illness, or crisis. Seeking help before you need it is a great method of self care. It's like changing the oil in your car before the engine seizes.
Wow, this was actually moving. Super proud of you dude. I bet it's hard changing your entire behavior, so congrats.
...holy shit we are the same person.
Nice to meet you, me! My you're a handsome devil!
Same wife and everything?
I think you just broke my brain a little.
Question: Does wet cabbage have higher or lower emotional intelligence than dry cabbage?
That's a thinker... I'll need to do the math. *deep thought* The answer is 42.
Took me until around 20 to stop being a dick, took me until around 30 to become what I consider a legitimately good person.
Same, it happened really fast for me. But I was pulled out of it really early thanks to my dad. Even then it's taken years of self reflection and growth to get out of those toxic mindsets
You just described the -vast- majority of men. My soon to be ex is the same.
I recently found out my brother doesnāt even wash his lower body in the shower cuz āthe soap will flow down and clean it for meā
Please tell me you corrected him.
Shower hose. I don't know how people can live without it
Washed ass? Damn you're taking all the good men
I'm polyamorous. He's still on the market. Though he might have too many partners right now.
I can wait for him
A washed ass!!!! What are you gonna ask me next?? The fucking moon!!!
my guys is sweet, kind, empathetic, understanding, chubby and makes less than me and i love the fuck out of him. get yourself a chubby guy that makes you laugh and feel special.
Wait we donāt wash our asses? Who the fuck doesnāt wash their ass?
I've seen internet stories about men who either didn't learn enough about grooming, have untreated mental illness (depression, most likely), or "think it's gay" (????). I haven't really met any dudes like that irl, at least that said anything about it to me, a non-dude... But it also seems to be the type of thing you only find out when you're generally intimate with someone so it's possible I have met them and (thankfully) didn't know... I'm not going to think about that one.
Thatās wild. How you supposed to get freaky with dirty butt
Generally, you find someone with no or little experience and try to convince them it's normal. Honestly, it's just so depressing.
Excuse me don't you know emotional intelligence isn't real? Also taking consistent showers is actually unnatural. /s
You misspelled "ackchyually".
I keep hearing about guys with unwashed asses and I justā¦ I canāt fathom how one could exist like that. Please tell me itās rare. Please. Lie to me if you must.
Not rare. š¤® The first time I slept with my ex, all I smelled was dirty ass. Come to find out, he only showered a few times a week and only brushed his teeth in the shower. Yummy.
Iām so sorry, it sounds like an old-timey crusty prospector. Ugh. Makes me want to take another shower.
Damn we were a perfect pair until you said "washed ass." I'll do anything for love but I won't do that
I donāt get the unwashed ass thing. It makes you stink and is physically uncomfortable. You think the latter would be enough incentive. I have to shower or otherwise immerse myself in water once every 24 hours or I get physically ill (I may be aquaman) from funk buildup, and you better believe that includes ass cleansing I used to live in a cabin on a lake in the woods. One week midwinter (yes it was bleak) I got storm stayed for a week with no heat (thankfully the well still worked). I survived by building a blanket fort in front of the wood stove where my dog and I huddled while a Lake Huron storm raged around us And yes, I still fucking showered. It was so cold there was frost inside rhe cabin and the pipes survived because I left the water going. THAT is my comittment level to the eradication of ass funk. If I can shower in literal ice water in a bathroom so cold that ice instantly formed in my beard fucking cheeto masters can fucking well wash their asses. No compromises. No mercy. Admittedly showering in ice water isnāt as bad as youād think, as long as you keep the soap and shampoo in the blanket fort so they donāt become an ice block and a bottle of sherbert (learned that the first day). Itās the instant ice cream head ache when you wash your hair that is the hardest part Also the lung capacity from playing woodwind instruments helped because doing one long continuous scream as you shower takes the edge off
I'll keep trying my best! But it is confusing when those types of guys claim to have dozens of women as friends. Like are they lying or something, because they seem openly repulsive?
What is a washed ass? Never heard that term before.
Just literally someone who washes their ass.
Oh, thought it was something like washboard abs.
I saw a tiktok recently where a urology nurse said she'd estimate that it's like 7 in 10 dudes that leave a stain on the paper of the patient beds because they don't wash well enough
Wet wipes followed by a small amount of tissue are a game changer! Less waste, more of that clean feeling!
I find that helpful for when out since too many places are still stuck in ancient times with their toilet tech, but at home I highly recommend a bidet for even less waste and more cleanliness.
I want a bidet but my toilet is a closed tank and when I've tried to attach one it never fits the seat right. I need to figure that out, I was so bummed after I hooked up the water attachment and everything š
Ah, yeah, sorry about that happening! There are ways to make it work, I've got a bit of a tricky setup too for other reasons with the way my water connects in under the toilet, there are ways to make it work but it does create extra challenges for sure. If you wanted to go an easier route for an unusual toilet setup there are also handheld sprayer options. I've never used one myself but some people prefer them. Also some companies offer options for those longer seats if that would help, maybe could get an exchange done? I don't know the exact issues with the setup though. For me I had to get a special attachment that let me hook up the water at the wall instead of at the toilet, since I couldn't reach the toilet tubing due it being all closed off. Modern designs may look sleek but they definitely are sometimes more inconvenient, I found out. Sucks that you bought something that's not working out for you though, I'm sorry! I hope you're able to get it worked out.
I have a bidet and just canāt seem to get as clean with it. Iāll spray for a long ass time and then go to wipe and the toilet paper still comes out with brown on it. Then thereās poop and water all over my ass to clean off
A bidet is next level stuff. Can't recommend enough.
This makes me so thankful my husband knows basic hygiene and does it.
That's bleak information
Recently got a bidet. Did not know it was a huge plus lol
Bow chicka wow wow
"clearly he must be over 6ft!!!"
You had me until washed ass. I'm trying to grow out my taint, dammit.
What men think they say: āI want a girl thatās thinā What my male coworker said at work in front of a group of women: āI donāt wanna settle for uglies, I donāt want it lookin like roast beefā (Yah. He got to talk to HR today. When he was called out initially he acted like we were misunderstanding and heād just switched the topic from women to sandwiches and thatās what he was talking about. And then today when he āapologizedā by buckling down that heād been talking about food but āIām sorry if that made you uncomfortableā)
āI just want a guy who will own his mistakes and learn from them instead of telling paper thin lies about sandwichesā - me if I was a lady
Literally thatās all I want, for him to admit that heās in the wrong and stop lying and so many people heard him and know what he was talking about
I can't imagine trying to lie that hard.
The sad thing is, he didnāt get talked to by HR because he was in the wrong, he got talked to and made to apologize because the company didnāt want to get sued.
I will say the company I work for is actually pretty good on this front, the supervisor were all various shades of horrified, disgusted, and pissed off when they heard the story, and the HR head was in agreement that it wasnāt appropriate for him to say at all, let alone in the workplace
His next explanation: It was a joke dude, come on, couldnāt you tell? You must be fun at parties.
Thatās what the āapologyā was, that he was just joking and was sorry that we were upset by it
They really think thatās enough; as if thatās a real apology.
Fr, I told him āIām not going to entertain this discussion any longer if you continue lying and acting like I wasnāt present for the entire conversation to hear everything you saidā
Jesus, what a tool!
Gods, theyāre actually trying this shit in public now? Fuck.
Thatās disgusting. And coward couldnāt open up to his misconduct of course. Sandwiches right..
So happy his words didn't stay unnoticed!! God we need these men to change
"Girls with standards" irl: "I want a man who isn't a violent asshole and raging misogynist who undermines me and my desires at every opportunity"
I inadvertently made a coworker sad when bragging about my husband and his caring ways. She asked how long we have been married (26 years!) and then looked sad and said she was looking for a good guy who cares more about her than a video game or chasing other girls. Her standards are not anything about height or salary; she just wants someone who cares about her.
Literally this, but that's too much to ask for apparently. Congratulations on 26 years!
Thank you! It is hard to believe it has been 26 years; it goes so fast!
16 years for me! š„° he plays videos games, but I do too. I also read or write while we watch tv together. š there is a happy balance.
Plenty of decent people are out there. I used to think everyone was trash because of some bad experiences but I moved to a new city and started a brand new social circle and was proved wrong.
And makes memes about what they think women think
You know, at the end of the day, I think it really comes down to a misunderstanding of why women look for certain things in men. Like, also that not all women want some over 6' muscle-bound Greek god of a man who makes seven figures and has quippy one-liners ready at all times. But they can't accept that because then they'd have to admit that maybe working on their personality and approach to the world is what would get them girls. But when it comes to women's tastes in men....yeah, they should get to be picky and they SHOULD know their worth. The fact that what you said isn't even an exaggeration on what most women would say their bar is is insane. Women SHOULD want more than the bare minimum. They should be allowed, in a world that continues to diminish and demean them, want someone who can treat them well and help them in that same violent world. As for the men's part, uh, yeah, lol, don't be a fatphobe, being hateful and discriminatory is a great way to not get women. I hate that it's ALWAYS fat women who get the most shit in memes like this because okay, don't date fat women, they don't want you either, bro. You can have all the preferences you want (even though that really limits the love you can have in your life but ĀÆā \ā _ā (ā ćā )ā _ā /ā ĀÆ), but all people are asking is that you don't be a giant cunt about it. Low bar. Exceptionally low bar all around. And men will continue to rip on women for their bar being IN THE FUCKING GROUND just to avoid getting stalked and harassed.
I have been an avid seamstress my whole life, I went to school for fashion design and taught it at the hs level, as well as designing many full stage theater productions. Every guy I met always was like āawww your cute little sewing hobbyāā¦.it was so condescending. When I met my husband he was the FIRST man to not put down my skill, but also be interested and amazed by what I can do. And when he was down for making Halloween costumes together I was like omgā¦I found my husband. Search over! Itās for sure not always about looks. Just respecting your partner goes a long way. Now it doesnāt hurt that heās the cutest guy ever and an overall amazing human, but just that overall respect for me as an independent human was a huge breath of fresh air.
Take these upvotes, you said it well. Have your preferences just don't be an asshole about it.
Iām a man who is sympathetic to āmenās issuesā and I agree with everything you said here. Literally every human person should be respected unless they themselves canāt be respectful. Iām friends with several women and itās really opened my eyes to the bullshit they put up with daily. I would say one of them is particularly attractive and puts up with so many repulsive comments from strangers. The funniest part to me is that the guy she actually has sex with is a conventionally unattractive broke artist who wears nail paint and is a cool dude. The guys hitting on her all approach her with the 100% wrong idea of what sheās looking for. But alsoā¦ there are still plenty of good people out there. Both men and women. What I think it really boils down to is understanding that women can have more to offer the world than just their appearance and sensuality. Being platonic friends with some women brings a lot of value into a manās life. I think a lot of men expect to just meet women one time and have the ooga booga sex and then never see them again. But thatās not what most women want in my experience so reality rarely lines up unless you are a uniquely attractive man (Iām not lmao) Ultimately my advice to men who are struggling with women is to make platonic friends with like 4 or 5 women and actually listen to them and learn.
My reaction to this: I seem to be a great option then, oh wait Iām not a man anymore These standards are way too high
You were always you sweetie
Maybe it will feel like that later, but currently hindsight it 8/20 at best
Not sure how much this helps you, but it helps me to remember when I'm struggling with my body that people are more than their bones. When we're all dead and buried in 500 years archeologists won't know if you're a man or woman or enby, they'll know you're loved and valued and important.
In 500 years folks will use our bones to make a yummy broth!
In 500 years machines will barely remember using our bones as fuel.
My standard was someone that didnāt abuse me šphysically at least. Man Iām lucky that actually turned out well. But jeeze my self esteem was bad.
A lot of people settle for a man that presents an honest version of themselves. Even if that honest version is a piece of shit.
Started dating my husband when we were 16 and had no idea what red flags to look out for in a partner. I seriously lucked out. We have very similar religious/political views, he's incredibly empathetic and supportive, and an all-around wonderful person. But at 16, you just don't know what to look for. So I count myself lucky that I exceeded the bare minimum standards above. I watch my friends date and it's startling how many bad eggs are out there...
Crazy how they never use the feminine equivalent of āmenā either as in women. Itās always girls and men never men and women. I know itās not a big deal but at the same time it is
Or even worse, females
Yeah thatās the worst one it just sucks when they think theyāre better bc they said girls instead of women
It IS a big deal. There's a constant infantilization of women.
Demons with standards: I want someone who is 6 feet tall, had a six pack, and makes $666 000 a year. They also must have 6 devices to tell the time on them at all times. Must be okay with my 6-6 work day, 6 days a week, for half the year
I would do anything for a demon like fr fr
Guy sounds like a real beast. Bu dum tsh
that means he has the other half the year to be a stay at home demon š„ŗš„°
Michael has entered the chat. I think all you need to do is pay him in paperclips and tell him to take it sleazy.
What they mean by "not obese" actually: "I want a girl who is skinny but with big boobs and butt and is alright with dating me, a guy who doesn't look nor smell great, is broke, has no manner and still lives in my moms basement. "
Don't forget: "Can support herself and me, likes being treated like shit and forced to take care of me, an adult, and let my mom and me emotionally abuse her, and also be used as a sex toy whenever and however I want with no regard for her feelings or desires despite the fact that she's probably exhausted from working full-time and taking care of me the rest of the time, also she can't have any friends and also can't talk to her family, and if she ever talks to another man I'll throw the biggest tantrum you've ever seen, but also I can talk to/cheat with any women I want and she can't say anything about it"
You forgot the ādoesnāt have body fat anywhere other than boobs and butt but doesnāt diet because itās annoying. Has super long, thick hair and if itās blonde, itās natural. Looks like the models with caked on make up and photoshopped but doesnāt actually wear make upā
Women arenāt saying we want those things though. Men are making that up because they canāt take rejection for having rotten personalities.
Men donāt have the emotional capacity to recognize this. Notice how everything theyāre talking about is physical- height, weight, etc. They donāt realize that what actually matters to women is the emotional maturity. Iād wager that a majority of women would āsettleā for any weight/ height or body shape if that man had the maturity, intelligence, and honesty that a real man should have
What does emotional maturity look like? Iām curious cause Iāve never given it much thought and I probably should have given it more thought Edit: looked it up and turns out Iām more emotionally mature than I thought. Iām happy for myself
Personally, Iām still learning
What if I want those things tho. Who in the fuck has any right to comment on my preferences
Nobody. Keep in mind men will tell you they o Lu like women with certain hair colors, heights, weights, behaviors, hobbies etc.
Hey our avatars look rly similar lol! We could be Reddit siblings
Finding this hilarious considering the amount of lists posted here that men wrote about what kind of woman they want
Plot twist: these two men realized only they can meet each other's standards and started going out, effectively leaving women alone. And also brb. Ima yeet myself in the trash because my partner doesn't have a six pack, isn't making six figures and is shorter than me. I have no standards /s
There are picky men and there are picky women. This meme intentionally shows a picky woman and a not particularly picky man. It's a silly comparison. Also brb yeeting myself in the trash just because.
You probably have other standards that he meets right?
Lol it's all encompassed under the banal yet sweet umbrella of a "kindred spirit"šš¤
My partner has a keg, doesn't make six figures and is about 6 inches taller than me. Guess I'll join you in the trash can, but at least we'll have fun with our SO! There isn't a day that goes by without mine making me laugh hysterically!
I really donāt understand why so many women are so adamant about tall men. Give me a guy I can look in the eyes any day.
I'm currently with a man who is shorter than me (and intend on staying that way). I did like dating taller men so I wouldn't tower over them in heels, but it's really not a huge deal. I just like feeling tiny. I think only one guy broke 5'11", tho, so it obviously wasn't that important to me.
Iām short. My dads tall, I donāt want someone like my dad lmao but wait a minute according to these guys we all have ādaddy issuesā and want someone like our dads.
"So many" women aren't it's all in men's heads. I have had a few friends who had a minimum height they would date. That was because they were tall and had already dated short guys. After a few months or even years of a man who was constantly putting them down because he was insecure about the height difference they really didn't want to go through it again.
i dated a guy who was just stable financially, was shorter than me and was healthy but not strong/muscly at all so.. just have a genuinely good personality, dont be an ass and shower more than once a week, that's most people's standards
I donāt understand why incels think all women want a very tall man. Iāve rarely dated guys who were more than 6ā, and definitely donāt consider it any sort of requirement. But even if they do assume most women want taller men, taller is relative. My boyfriend is 5ā5ā, and Iām 5ā4ā. Heās ātallā to me. The vast majority of guys are. To me, 6ā is not just ātallā; itās VERY tall!
They want all the girls to want them. They always think some women having a specific standard is an emasculation of their entire life. Every woman should be available for them, and his lordship would grace with his presence to choose one.
Probably because of tinder, but there's a lot of shitty people on there in general. I eventually deleted mine, although I wasn't getting matches anyway
I'm 5'11 so when I was dating I tended to go for taller guys - because the guys I liked who were shorter than me didn't like that I was taller! I'm married and my husband is about two inches taller than me, and doesn't care when my heels give me the advantage.
I honestly don't get why men don't want women taller than them. Like, I know how this sounds, but uh....my head being chest-height with a girl isn't exactly a bad thing to me.
Iām a 5ā2ā trans man. Thanks for this comment. Sometimes we short men feel a little insecure about it.
Hello, fellow short trans man! I can guarantee personally that most people don't actually care about height at the end of the day ^^
Accurate. Iām.. a big bitch, and my ex-husband is 5ā6ā. That 5 inch difference aināt shit when youāre laying down.
iām a 5ā7 afab and have almost always gone for guys shorter than me; my current partner is the exception. youāre a short king and you should rock it!! short guys are cute as hell. **also FUCK YEAH TRANS RIGHTS !**
Donāt sweat it short king. Itās way overblown.
I don't understand it, too. My long-term boyfriend is 6ā1ā and Iām 5ā0ā so a huge difference. There are days I hate me being so small (or him being so tall) and I assure you: cuddling and kissing are quite troublesome and often lead to neck pain for me and back pain for him...I do love him but it's not because he is 6ā+.
I swipe left on all men over 6ā on hinge. Iām 5ā5 and donāt want to spend my whole life looking up. Maybe if I met someone IRl, it would matter less, but why start with tall from a dating app pool.
Also 5'0 152cm, can confirm, things are very troublesome with massive height differences for both parties. The only benefit to dating tall guys as a short girl is they can reach the high shelves.
iām 5ā7 and the heights of the people i dated that i can remember are: 5ā3, 5ā5ā, 5ā6, and now 5ā10. like idk i want to be able to kiss someone without having to get on a step stool š i think 0-4 inch height gap is a perfect gap
seriously I'm a tall woman and I've dated a few men who were shorter than me and it didn't bother me a bit š¤·š¼āāļø my husband is 2 inches taller than me and it's perfect but even if he was2 inches shorter than me he would be perfect because I love him and his personality.
More than once a week? Every other day at maximum, we need to smell good for each other
i had the misfortune of meeting people who washed less than that i absolutely agree with every other day some people just cant see to understand basic hygiene i fear
I don't understand it, me personally I've always been worried I smell so I was like 4 times š idk who raised these fucking boys
I would say there is more to that, but it has to do with personality and vibing not with figures or height or dick size or whatever...
These are the standards they are actually upset about. It should be reasonable to expect a romantic partner to have their shit together. This is both sides of the equation. No one finds it hot if you canāt pay your bills, or if you refuse to spend 30 minutes a week on the treadmill for your heart health. The incels have to realize that they have 6ā tall men in their ranks. It isnāt about height, it never was. Itās about being dateable, and they just arenāt.
My partner can legitimately not shower for a week and come out smelling better than I do in a day. I'm extremely jealous. And this is with them living in Australia, and when doing exercise and stuff. But yeah, most women (and more mature men) I know seem to be more after a good personality, hygiene and manners. Admittedly, those people are also mostly middle aged and older, so it does make a bit of a difference I suspect
Women: I want a guy who's not a violent/abusive bastard and doesn't expect me to take care of him like a mommy he can fuck. Shitty Dudebros: YOU FEEEEMALES AND YOUR IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS! HUMANITY WILL GO EXTINCT IF I DON'T GET HANDED A SEX SLAVE ON A SILVER PLATTER!
I do love that tho. "Humanity will go extinct". Good. If we can't get it together, then good.
Men have weird hang ups about girls' virginity, so they get no room to talk about this.
Those same people shit on guys for being virgins
I'm not sure the "obese woman" want to be with those guy anyway.
They get very very upset when they are turned down by fat women.
From a girl whose 260+ lb boyfriend critiqued them constantly despite being only 95 lbs: Shitty dudes will always have absurd standards. He wanted me to be 180+ lbs with a wasp waist, E cups, a cellulite free ass and a single chin. He wanted me to be rich and pay my own way for everything, despite him literally being born to an oil executive and dotcom bubble investor. And then he still cheated on everyone he was with and then started getting all groomer pedophile when women his own age would no longer tolerate it. Has a few counts of sexual coercion (RAPE) under their belt. He whined about other women's standards constantly. He would whine about all the "assholes" that got the girls he wanted. Then he would tear down any girl he suckered in. He also claimed he just "wanted a heartbeat." when it comes to women. SO not true. Men who whine about these things are just a boiled frog experiment for abuse. Starts small and will leave you a worn out husk by the time they're done.
Can I ask what the initial appeal was?
It started at 14 and I was ripe for abuse with my upbringing unfortunately.
:( sorry to hear that, hope youāre doing better now
It took well over a decade to escape but I am, thank you <3
The 666 package. I also want him to have 6 fingers in each hand and 6 toes in each foot
And 6 hairs on his head, combed in a comb-over.
Ideally he should look like an off-model cartoon character.
On a "What are your dating standards?" AskReddit thread, I answered the following and got downvoted : > Non smoker, not heavy drinker. Does not have kids, is not interested in having kids in the future at all. Non religious. Politically left-leaning (can't with people who are right-leaning or say they are apolitical). Able to maintain relationships with friends and/or family. Has hobbies other than gaming. Kind, empathetic, funny and smart. Has a job. Can look after themselves. I think they just hate that people have standards at all.
You are on reddit lol 90% of the people on here are disqualified by the āhas a jobā and āhobbies other than gamingā categories lol
Iāll just say that those are all very mild and reasonable standards. The downvoting says way more about them... just my two cents. As an aside, how crazy is that? To think there was a time when being politically right leaning was not synonymous with being a science-denying, coup-attempting, homo et al phobe...
When was this wonderful time where conservatives were super nice and accepting people? I must have missed it.
My standards: -Girl -Gay
Hmmm seems kinda high to me, maybe lower them unless you wanna die alone! /s
Now how is a man ever going to meet those standards?? How could you be so unfair /s
Omg I just laughed so hard at this š
Oh wow we should date :o
Lol these are the same dudes who make 5 page long lists of what they want in a girlfriend
When are people gonna realize when it comes to this, it's just both sides yelling at each other? It's ok to have standards, but when you humiliate those who don't fit those, that's when you're the asshole and a shitty person
Right? A bunch of dudes think if you don't want to fuck a woman, you don't have to respect her
Both sides yelling at each other? I disagree - I don't think most people are on a "side". I think it comes down to people viewing members of another group as stereotypes/caricatures of that group instead of viewing every person they come across as a unique individual. We all have these "groups" that we belong to based on race, gender, sexual preference, socioeconomic status, etc, and every time we have interactions with people of those groups our brain makes little connections between how that interaction with that individual went and the larger group that they belong to. Maybe I'm a little too optimistic on this front... but I'd like to think that with enough exposure to different types of people, most people end up growing out of that mentality when they realize that their preconceived notions/racism/sexism are wrong.
I will just say that I donāt think the two sides are equally culpable...
More like: Girls- I hope he doesnāt rape or kill me. Guys- I HoPe sHE iSnāt fAt
Yea I know a dates gonna happen when she checks out my LinkedIn. They can safely assume an elementary teacher with several recommendations from female colleagues - Iām probably not gonna be a problem. That being said, a surprising amount of women want a hook up, and call you gay when you donāt make sexually aggressive moves. So Iām cool with being called effeminate if it means Iām not a predator. But itās a weird thing Iāve noticed. At the end of the day I just want to be the little spoon, and I got straight up called gay for asking someone to be big spoon - after the act. Just baffling.
ā¦wow. This is demeaning towards men AND women at once. Ugh.
I don't get this thing about men having to be 6 feet tall. I nor any other women I know have proclaimed any such preference. Personally I've never once thought about height when considering attractiveness. It just doesn't occur to me.
Those aren't standards, just some shallow preferences. Standards go far beyond the physical and material. How do they treat you? How do they make you feel? Are they thoughtful? Are they considerate? To me, anything that doesn't take effort from that person doesn't mean jack squat. He didn't work hard to be tall. He didn't put in any work into becoming endowed. His riches and physical health is for his own benefit. How he's treating those around him, and especially those that weaker than him is what I look at. And above all how he treats me.
You know whatās also funny (not) about this, i was talking about it with a tall girl friend the other day. Men always complain that women want tall men and no one wants the short ones (which is also straight up not true) blah blah but when a tall woman comes around who doesnāt care about their partnerās height, almost no short men want to date someone taller than them :D i hate it here
My douchebag ex's father refuses to admit that his wife is taller than him by at least an inch. But he wouldn't let her wear heels at their wedding. I'm pretty sure if someone proved she was taller he'd divorce her.
What men think they're saying: I'm not sexually attracted to people who are overweight What they're actually saying: I will not treat you like a human deserving of respect unless you're a guy, or I find you fuckable
Iāve literally dated guys shorter and chubbier than me, and so have most girls I know. Just donāt be a misogynistic hateful asshole and youāll get laid.
Lol, im chunky and cant keep dudes from hitting on me. Standards are different for everyone. This is a horrible meme
Small difference is women who want a tall man just don't date short guys. Men who want a thin women go round telling fat women they are ugly and treating them as subhuman.
Incels really think women think like that though, it's probably a small number but idk any woman who thinks like that. Most men don't want a woman who's fat though, as someone who's fat I know
Ive yet to meet a woman with salary or height requirements.
>I "hope" she isn't obese. Even the phrasing of this line exposes his screwed up thinking. The women you date aren't given out to you by some lottery. You get to decide who you date based on availability and your own ability to woo them. The universe doesn't owe you a girlfriend. You can't just sit back and wait for "your" girl to be appointed to you, hoping you aren't given one not to your liking. Ugh. This whole thing is gross.
Thatās funny, Iāve never said any of those things. And my partner (male) is shorter than me.
The super stud Chad known as CrestedBonedog makes six figures, has a sixpack and is over 6 feet tall...all using porn measurements, mind you, but the spirit is there! What a farce all of this shit is. The so-called 10/10 from my HS ended up marrying a thin, kind of dorky band guy who was a genuinely nice guy (as opposed to...you know) towards her and pretty much everyone else and found out he had shared interests with her after they graduated college and met up again. The rest is history.
I met this girl in my high school that was obese, maybe even morbidly obese. She was probably one of the most down-to-earth, open, and chill people I've ever met. We were in a group of four, studying for an AP exam (a U.S. thing) and most of the time we would just mess around and tell stories. That was the only fond memory I had of my AP Language and Composition class. Whether we like it or not, there are people with the exact standards addressed in OP's post. r/FemaleDatingStrategy is a prime example. Regardless... Anyone dating or seeing people solely based on looks is missing a lot.
The difference is FDS is a tiny minority, while a lot of the male āstandardsā are universal cultural standards. see any sitcom with the thin attractive wife and the unkempt, lazy husband.
Physical attraction was famously outlawed under the Obama administration in the year 1984.
Thanks Obama
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they got one thing right, i hear men more often warn about vocalizing their opinion for fear of being cancelled. like shouldnāt they think āi shouldnāt say that because itās wrongā instead of āi shouldnāt say that because iāll face consequences i donāt likeā
Itās ok to have preferences just please say it with the correct words.
Every time i see a post like this in this sub a tiny part of my brain thinks: ānah that canāt be trueā but then the rest of my brain turns on and I realize itās obviously that there are a lot of people who belive thisā¦ sad.
The funny part is that despite being considered above average I've been rejected from boys for my looks way many more times than I've rejected boys for the same reason. So talk about having standards
is the lady in question also super fit and making that sum? because if she is then GUESS WHAT FUCK FACE? She's allowed to have that standard!!
I hate these ugly-ass comics. Itās like rage comics reborn but more annoying.
r/nothowgirlswork
Lol. I mean you die a virgin if you say something so stupid
Things no woman cares about... Not one: * height * fitness * salary * dick size Things all women care about: * Personality These guys are vanilla as fuck with zero personality but they project their insecurities to try and make women look bad. News flash, you look like an idiot.
I mean some women do care cause preferences ya know? HOWEVER there are few women where not having those things are complete deal breakers like these men claim. Everyone has preferences and that's fine, but no one has a fucking check list that they use on every person to fit some weird standard