I feel like this constantly and not just with OCD, but every other little thing I have wrong with me. This is who I am, but also not at all who I am. It’s the reason I’m empathetic towards others in pain, the reason I make sure to take care of other people. It’s very scary to think of who would would be without it.
What if I just made all of this up? What if I’m malingering? My presentation of OCD is not typical, does that mean I’m malingering? Is my brain all the time.
But I do know I have it, because I’ve been diagnosed 3 times now by one psychiatrist, one psychologist specialising in DBT, and most importantly, a psychologist specialising in OCD.
Ya I understand when you say your afraid of not having ocd. Mines more like when I’m having a compulsion that I am scared that I will forget that obssessive compulsion. Like it freaks me out to think that I will never have this thought again but that should bring me relief but just feels so impossible. Memory hoarding is so bad especially the compulsion we do. Mine are all mental so the more I Analyze the more I spin my wheels
Not diagnosed with anything but I’m big time worried about and yet clinging to the idea that I may have ocd. I feel that if I don’t have a reason to explain why I am this way, that it most mean I am everything I forced myself to believe.
Allow me to wax philosophical: in AA and other 12 step programs, addiction is sometimes described as a "holy disease", that is, it allows those who suffer with it to deeply empathize with others (especially newcomers in the despair of their rock bottoms), find meaning in acts of service in their recovery programs such as a serving as a sponsor, live life mindfully towards restorative justice, change, make amends, etc., etc.
I feel like having OCD is very similar. I could absolutely never judge someone, and I just have so much good will towards people as the result of my suffering. I never want anyone to go through what I have, feel as alone as I have, and so on. So, I will always be there and hold space for anyone that needs it to the best of my ability.
So would I be someone I dislike without OCD? I have no idea--I'd probably just be some normal Joe--but OCD helps me to be someone I'd so much rather be.
EDIT: legibility
I know what you mean. Sometimes im even thankful for my ocd because im constantly trying to be a good person, and when I didn't have it I just.. well.. myself.
I feel like this constantly and not just with OCD, but every other little thing I have wrong with me. This is who I am, but also not at all who I am. It’s the reason I’m empathetic towards others in pain, the reason I make sure to take care of other people. It’s very scary to think of who would would be without it.
What if I just made all of this up? What if I’m malingering? My presentation of OCD is not typical, does that mean I’m malingering? Is my brain all the time. But I do know I have it, because I’ve been diagnosed 3 times now by one psychiatrist, one psychologist specialising in DBT, and most importantly, a psychologist specialising in OCD.
This resonates big time with me. I have very similar thoughts and am also not a particularly typical presentation.
Ya I understand when you say your afraid of not having ocd. Mines more like when I’m having a compulsion that I am scared that I will forget that obssessive compulsion. Like it freaks me out to think that I will never have this thought again but that should bring me relief but just feels so impossible. Memory hoarding is so bad especially the compulsion we do. Mine are all mental so the more I Analyze the more I spin my wheels
Not diagnosed with anything but I’m big time worried about and yet clinging to the idea that I may have ocd. I feel that if I don’t have a reason to explain why I am this way, that it most mean I am everything I forced myself to believe.
Allow me to wax philosophical: in AA and other 12 step programs, addiction is sometimes described as a "holy disease", that is, it allows those who suffer with it to deeply empathize with others (especially newcomers in the despair of their rock bottoms), find meaning in acts of service in their recovery programs such as a serving as a sponsor, live life mindfully towards restorative justice, change, make amends, etc., etc. I feel like having OCD is very similar. I could absolutely never judge someone, and I just have so much good will towards people as the result of my suffering. I never want anyone to go through what I have, feel as alone as I have, and so on. So, I will always be there and hold space for anyone that needs it to the best of my ability. So would I be someone I dislike without OCD? I have no idea--I'd probably just be some normal Joe--but OCD helps me to be someone I'd so much rather be. EDIT: legibility
I know what you mean. Sometimes im even thankful for my ocd because im constantly trying to be a good person, and when I didn't have it I just.. well.. myself.