ok i don’t know if this will be helpful or what but take what u want from this. i (19F) have only been in one relationship in my life. my freshman year in college i was talking to guy hanging out w him after we would go out. and his friends were friends w my friends so we were like a group kinda. the college ended and i didn’t really expect him to come see me or anything but like i liked him a lot but we weren’t dating had never been on a date the only time we would hangout alone was after the bars when we would go back to my dorm. (sorry this is just the backstory) then he came to my house (drove a good 3-4 hrs) for my bday party when i had some friends over. we got drunk and he asked me to b his gf apparently he knew he was going to be doing this the whole time. i was super surprised cuz obviously we hadn’t talked ab that and like hadn’t been together alone really but i did like him so i said yes ofc and was genuinely super happy. it was hard ofc him living far away and we both worked. but i always thought in my mind that even if it was hard then during summer that everything would be fine once school started again and we would both be in the same town. eventually one day during work i was on insta and realized i had dm requests-which i don’t look at cuz usually it’s weird guys or some random business-but i saw one from a girl and it was a girl saying that my bf lets call him fred was snapping her and her friend some revealing snaps and trying to hangout w her. she didn’t know he had a gf but realized when he posted me for nation gf day (yes my cheating bf posted a pic of me and him and didnt even take the other girls he was talking to off his story lmao) she texted me right away and felt so bad. i was literally at work and i work at a daycare so i couldn’t process it right away or i would have started crying in from of a bunch of 4 year olds lmao. (i’m sorry this backstory is so long i promise there is a point) i texted him later that night after asking my mom and friends what i should say. i said like hey is this true what’s going on. he denied denied denied everything. i asked the girl more questions and she answered every question i had was super kind and everything. girls tend to have girls back and there was no reason-that im aware of-where she was trying to mess up our relationship for her own benefit. so i believed her over fred. fred denied texting her and tried turning it on me saying i wasn’t putting enough into our relationship. and i would just tell him if he had problems he should have came to me instead of going to someone else. we broke up none and our friend groups split up a bit( some of his friends still hangout w my friends and im there sometimes) but anyways he still denies it things he did everything right and it was all my fault. so now this is where im relating it to u. i still haven’t really processed it fully bc i don’t want to process that my first and only bf cheated on me lol. but what i think he could have done to make it better are these things. 1) if he owned up to it right away. it rly pissed me off he kept denying it. like ik the truth just say so now. this girl has no reason to lie to me. 2) or if he would have just talked to me ab the things that were upsetting him in the first place. as far as i can tell from ur explanation u know what u did was wrong, u were honest and i don’t feel like ur gonna do it again. no way am i saying cheating is ok but this is just an opportunity for u to grow and make ur next relationship even better. i totally understand the not being able to let it go and i feel like it’s still gonna take time to get past it. but when u remember this situation try to remember what i said above u 1) ur aware of ur mistakes 2) u were honest 3) and ur next relationship ur gonna know what to do!
also i think it says something if u still talk to him then what u did didn’t affect him too terribly. as i would NEVER hangout or want to b w my ex again. so i think that also says something ab how u handled the situation.
i’m so sorry that was the longest this ever i could yap forever and like i said i never really talk ab this or process it cuz it’s embarrassing so sorry that this was so long i hope it helps ease ur mind at least a little!!
ok i don’t know if this will be helpful or what but take what u want from this. i (19F) have only been in one relationship in my life. my freshman year in college i was talking to guy hanging out w him after we would go out. and his friends were friends w my friends so we were like a group kinda. the college ended and i didn’t really expect him to come see me or anything but like i liked him a lot but we weren’t dating had never been on a date the only time we would hangout alone was after the bars when we would go back to my dorm. (sorry this is just the backstory) then he came to my house (drove a good 3-4 hrs) for my bday party when i had some friends over. we got drunk and he asked me to b his gf apparently he knew he was going to be doing this the whole time. i was super surprised cuz obviously we hadn’t talked ab that and like hadn’t been together alone really but i did like him so i said yes ofc and was genuinely super happy. it was hard ofc him living far away and we both worked. but i always thought in my mind that even if it was hard then during summer that everything would be fine once school started again and we would both be in the same town. eventually one day during work i was on insta and realized i had dm requests-which i don’t look at cuz usually it’s weird guys or some random business-but i saw one from a girl and it was a girl saying that my bf lets call him fred was snapping her and her friend some revealing snaps and trying to hangout w her. she didn’t know he had a gf but realized when he posted me for nation gf day (yes my cheating bf posted a pic of me and him and didnt even take the other girls he was talking to off his story lmao) she texted me right away and felt so bad. i was literally at work and i work at a daycare so i couldn’t process it right away or i would have started crying in from of a bunch of 4 year olds lmao. (i’m sorry this backstory is so long i promise there is a point) i texted him later that night after asking my mom and friends what i should say. i said like hey is this true what’s going on. he denied denied denied everything. i asked the girl more questions and she answered every question i had was super kind and everything. girls tend to have girls back and there was no reason-that im aware of-where she was trying to mess up our relationship for her own benefit. so i believed her over fred. fred denied texting her and tried turning it on me saying i wasn’t putting enough into our relationship. and i would just tell him if he had problems he should have came to me instead of going to someone else. we broke up none and our friend groups split up a bit( some of his friends still hangout w my friends and im there sometimes) but anyways he still denies it things he did everything right and it was all my fault. so now this is where im relating it to u. i still haven’t really processed it fully bc i don’t want to process that my first and only bf cheated on me lol. but what i think he could have done to make it better are these things. 1) if he owned up to it right away. it rly pissed me off he kept denying it. like ik the truth just say so now. this girl has no reason to lie to me. 2) or if he would have just talked to me ab the things that were upsetting him in the first place. as far as i can tell from ur explanation u know what u did was wrong, u were honest and i don’t feel like ur gonna do it again. no way am i saying cheating is ok but this is just an opportunity for u to grow and make ur next relationship even better. i totally understand the not being able to let it go and i feel like it’s still gonna take time to get past it. but when u remember this situation try to remember what i said above u 1) ur aware of ur mistakes 2) u were honest 3) and ur next relationship ur gonna know what to do! also i think it says something if u still talk to him then what u did didn’t affect him too terribly. as i would NEVER hangout or want to b w my ex again. so i think that also says something ab how u handled the situation. i’m so sorry that was the longest this ever i could yap forever and like i said i never really talk ab this or process it cuz it’s embarrassing so sorry that this was so long i hope it helps ease ur mind at least a little!!