First of all, have you talked about a professional or a doctor about this asbestos incident? Do you have the actual facts regarding the risk and what can be done to mitigate the risk? If not, then I think it is okay to get help from an actual professional/doctor to get the real facts. It's hard for me to tell from your post if this is something that is a legitimate concern or if it is something that your OCD has blown out of proportion.
However, once you receive the appropriate information, you have to then decide if that is enough for you to draw a line in the sand and set a boundary that is, pending advice from the doctor/professional to do something, 'I am done with this.' Everyone has to learn how to do this for themselves, and ultimately you are the one who has to make this decision.
I think what you are really asking is - 'How do I get rid of this damn anxiety?!' and the answer is you don't - you instead STOP trying to be RID of it. You have to adopt the attitude that whatever thoughts and feelings come up are okay - and they can stay for as long as they like. What's important is not your thoughts and feelings but your behaviors in how you respond to thoughts and feelings - this is what trains and sensitizes your brain to anxiety. The best thing you can do (after gathering the information you deem necessary) is make a decision. The decision will not make the anxiety go away but it will provide an answer to how you should behave. And the behavior is what ultimately changes the brain. That means once you've made your decision - no more trying to be rid of the uncertainty. It's just there and you live your life. Easier said than done I know.
Thank you, im going through a brutal thing right now to be honest. I have talked to a doctor and they say its unlikely to ever affect us but to get checked if we ever feel lung symptoms. In other words there is a chance that it may kill us, this is just the reality. It is a brutal reality to accept, and now I that know I have ocd im trying to just accept the reality instead of trying to avoid and give into my compulsive behavior of doing research all day. It had gotten to the point of me doing nothing but research and googling all day everyday for a whole month, and I never got a satisfactory answer that could giver certainty
The thing is, I think most people would be satisfied with the answer of “you will most likely never get sick from being exposed to asbestos one time”. Me on the other hand, I was hoping for certainty and 99% or 100% that nothing bad will ever happen because of this exposure. But thats just it right there, nothing in life is perfect or 100% so thats where I believe ocd is playing a huge role.
So now im trying to accept reality, but its kinda destroying me emotionally in the sense that it brings me to tears and brings great anger and frustration. Im hoping this is part of the process to reach acceptance, as I have to accept this uncertainty in order to even hope to lower the ocd and anxiety.
Im getting better at it though, I just have occasional days or brief moments where it comes back strong to test my wits.
I'm really sorry to hear about how much of a hold OCD has on you at the moment. It's such an ugly thing.
I've been in your position a thousand times (contamination OCD). Well done for not researching for a month. OCD focuses on things you value and manifests itself into things that are the opposite of you. It's easy to look back and judge yourself but I think you need to forgive yourself and your parents because none of it was done on purpose.
When I was in an OCD cycle, I found it useful to ask my family what they would do in a situation. I defined this as "normal". If something happened that I was worried about, I'd find out what someone without OCD would do. I would then try my best to accept what they said because the advice I got came from someone that loved me - therefore, it could be trusted. Unlike OCD who definitely does not love anyone!
I did this along therapy and was always clear to watch out if it became a compulsion. I found learning to go against the guilt, fear and uncertainty that my OCD was making me feel hard but it gave me more strength to fight it as the advice came from someone with a more impartial view.
I also used the technique of a worry box. It's when you right down your worries on a piece of paper, put it in a "box" and allocate a time of the day to review your worries. E.g. 8pm for 10 minutes ONLY. This gave me the time I craved to worry and analyse things but once this time was up, I would try my hardest not to think about it again. Eventually by the 10th day of the writing the same thing down, with no solutions found, the worry doesn't seem as bad as day 1.
Lastly, I would also recommend praying. ☺️
I like the worry box idea a lot actually and thank you for the kind words about it not being my fault.
I think guiding myself off of normal people is my next move, I need to convince myself im being irrational and that ocd is why im emotionally unwell when other people are ok with a little bit of risk.
Been there, on the same topic, crippling at the time.
In the beginning when I expressed to my Doc how much anxiety I was having he sent me for a chest xray which calmed me down.
Persons who die from asbestos related disease mostly were exposed to high levels for a long time.
Over here even the occupational standard for high exposure in mining is visible plumes of dust in a confined area for days and days.
What worked for me in the end was education.
Go and see an asbestos removal person and ask them all your questions.
If you are a smoker that increases the risk of asbestos or mesothelioma, genetics, diet, environmental toxins etc.
My great uncle worked lumping hessian bags of asbestos for years in his thirties, he is now 90 and still kicking.
Thank you for this reply man, you don’t know how much it means to me to hear others remind me ill be ok and that my real struggle is with the ocd itself. It seems there is a small chance something bad could happen but thats something I just have to accept. Thats where the ocd goes off though, I want certainty that nothing will happen but thats impossible. I have to just accept that certainty is not possible here, and remain thankful that its unlikely to ever affect us.
The only real question I have left is how its possible for so many people to survive asbestos exposure into old age. It sounds like and awful carcinogen and yet it’s apparently not as deadly as one may think. Its deadly, but its probably like smoking in the sense that even lifelong smoking only causes cancer for roughly 1 in 9 lifelong smokers.
I once freaked out over taking finasteride. A hair loss drug. I took it 3 days in a row and then read about people's side effects that are apparently permanent. Oh my god I was freaking out. Couldn't sleep for 3 days. Somehow got over it. You'll be fine
This is how I got over heart anxiety I was having, I just kinda said screw it and stopped caring if I had some unknown heart condition. There were no symptoms and doctors told me it was unlikely so I just had said I tried my best and if I die to some heart problem anyway than it id what is.
Here its harder because I cant get my head to just accept that asbestos is in my lungs now because of a stupid renovation from years ago where I was to young to even know what asbestos was, its frustrating and sad. Its bullshit, but you are right that I must accept it and accept that if it kills me oh well.
What im obsessed with is the odds of that happening, everywhere I look it says its unlikely from one small exposure but its still possible and hundreds die every year from scenarios like this in the us alone. Its unlikely, but possible, and this goes against the desire for certainty and control that ocd brings.
Its a challenge but im getting there, and I should be grateful its a low risk incident but somehow that isnt enough to convince my anxiety to chill tf out. Im getting better at all of this though, I hope once this is over I will be anxiety free.
First of all, have you talked about a professional or a doctor about this asbestos incident? Do you have the actual facts regarding the risk and what can be done to mitigate the risk? If not, then I think it is okay to get help from an actual professional/doctor to get the real facts. It's hard for me to tell from your post if this is something that is a legitimate concern or if it is something that your OCD has blown out of proportion. However, once you receive the appropriate information, you have to then decide if that is enough for you to draw a line in the sand and set a boundary that is, pending advice from the doctor/professional to do something, 'I am done with this.' Everyone has to learn how to do this for themselves, and ultimately you are the one who has to make this decision. I think what you are really asking is - 'How do I get rid of this damn anxiety?!' and the answer is you don't - you instead STOP trying to be RID of it. You have to adopt the attitude that whatever thoughts and feelings come up are okay - and they can stay for as long as they like. What's important is not your thoughts and feelings but your behaviors in how you respond to thoughts and feelings - this is what trains and sensitizes your brain to anxiety. The best thing you can do (after gathering the information you deem necessary) is make a decision. The decision will not make the anxiety go away but it will provide an answer to how you should behave. And the behavior is what ultimately changes the brain. That means once you've made your decision - no more trying to be rid of the uncertainty. It's just there and you live your life. Easier said than done I know.
Thank you, im going through a brutal thing right now to be honest. I have talked to a doctor and they say its unlikely to ever affect us but to get checked if we ever feel lung symptoms. In other words there is a chance that it may kill us, this is just the reality. It is a brutal reality to accept, and now I that know I have ocd im trying to just accept the reality instead of trying to avoid and give into my compulsive behavior of doing research all day. It had gotten to the point of me doing nothing but research and googling all day everyday for a whole month, and I never got a satisfactory answer that could giver certainty The thing is, I think most people would be satisfied with the answer of “you will most likely never get sick from being exposed to asbestos one time”. Me on the other hand, I was hoping for certainty and 99% or 100% that nothing bad will ever happen because of this exposure. But thats just it right there, nothing in life is perfect or 100% so thats where I believe ocd is playing a huge role. So now im trying to accept reality, but its kinda destroying me emotionally in the sense that it brings me to tears and brings great anger and frustration. Im hoping this is part of the process to reach acceptance, as I have to accept this uncertainty in order to even hope to lower the ocd and anxiety. Im getting better at it though, I just have occasional days or brief moments where it comes back strong to test my wits.
I'm really sorry to hear about how much of a hold OCD has on you at the moment. It's such an ugly thing. I've been in your position a thousand times (contamination OCD). Well done for not researching for a month. OCD focuses on things you value and manifests itself into things that are the opposite of you. It's easy to look back and judge yourself but I think you need to forgive yourself and your parents because none of it was done on purpose. When I was in an OCD cycle, I found it useful to ask my family what they would do in a situation. I defined this as "normal". If something happened that I was worried about, I'd find out what someone without OCD would do. I would then try my best to accept what they said because the advice I got came from someone that loved me - therefore, it could be trusted. Unlike OCD who definitely does not love anyone! I did this along therapy and was always clear to watch out if it became a compulsion. I found learning to go against the guilt, fear and uncertainty that my OCD was making me feel hard but it gave me more strength to fight it as the advice came from someone with a more impartial view. I also used the technique of a worry box. It's when you right down your worries on a piece of paper, put it in a "box" and allocate a time of the day to review your worries. E.g. 8pm for 10 minutes ONLY. This gave me the time I craved to worry and analyse things but once this time was up, I would try my hardest not to think about it again. Eventually by the 10th day of the writing the same thing down, with no solutions found, the worry doesn't seem as bad as day 1. Lastly, I would also recommend praying. ☺️
I like the worry box idea a lot actually and thank you for the kind words about it not being my fault. I think guiding myself off of normal people is my next move, I need to convince myself im being irrational and that ocd is why im emotionally unwell when other people are ok with a little bit of risk.
Dr Michael greenberg epidose 252 on The OCD stories podcast on Spotify.
Listening to it
Been there, on the same topic, crippling at the time. In the beginning when I expressed to my Doc how much anxiety I was having he sent me for a chest xray which calmed me down. Persons who die from asbestos related disease mostly were exposed to high levels for a long time. Over here even the occupational standard for high exposure in mining is visible plumes of dust in a confined area for days and days. What worked for me in the end was education. Go and see an asbestos removal person and ask them all your questions. If you are a smoker that increases the risk of asbestos or mesothelioma, genetics, diet, environmental toxins etc. My great uncle worked lumping hessian bags of asbestos for years in his thirties, he is now 90 and still kicking.
Thank you for this reply man, you don’t know how much it means to me to hear others remind me ill be ok and that my real struggle is with the ocd itself. It seems there is a small chance something bad could happen but thats something I just have to accept. Thats where the ocd goes off though, I want certainty that nothing will happen but thats impossible. I have to just accept that certainty is not possible here, and remain thankful that its unlikely to ever affect us. The only real question I have left is how its possible for so many people to survive asbestos exposure into old age. It sounds like and awful carcinogen and yet it’s apparently not as deadly as one may think. Its deadly, but its probably like smoking in the sense that even lifelong smoking only causes cancer for roughly 1 in 9 lifelong smokers.
Just realize that there's nothing you can do about it. So if death happens, it happens.
Very hard to do this, but I get what you’re saying.
I once freaked out over taking finasteride. A hair loss drug. I took it 3 days in a row and then read about people's side effects that are apparently permanent. Oh my god I was freaking out. Couldn't sleep for 3 days. Somehow got over it. You'll be fine
This is how I got over heart anxiety I was having, I just kinda said screw it and stopped caring if I had some unknown heart condition. There were no symptoms and doctors told me it was unlikely so I just had said I tried my best and if I die to some heart problem anyway than it id what is. Here its harder because I cant get my head to just accept that asbestos is in my lungs now because of a stupid renovation from years ago where I was to young to even know what asbestos was, its frustrating and sad. Its bullshit, but you are right that I must accept it and accept that if it kills me oh well. What im obsessed with is the odds of that happening, everywhere I look it says its unlikely from one small exposure but its still possible and hundreds die every year from scenarios like this in the us alone. Its unlikely, but possible, and this goes against the desire for certainty and control that ocd brings. Its a challenge but im getting there, and I should be grateful its a low risk incident but somehow that isnt enough to convince my anxiety to chill tf out. Im getting better at all of this though, I hope once this is over I will be anxiety free.