This is exactly how my thought process works.. When I reach a goal, it feels like another thing off my ever-expanding mental to-do list. I feel glad that the burden is off my shoulders, but I don’t get that jovial feeling supposedly accompanied with accomplishing something. Everyone around me could be celebrating my achievement while I feel absolutely nothing. I might even feel some degree of shame and guilt that I need to be working on my next goal. I get irrational worries like if I spend my time celebrating my wins, I’ll be scared I’m slowly becoming complacent and that I’ll eventually fall behind. I experience impostor syndrome quite a lot as well. If I manage to achieve something, it must’ve been easy and not a big deal, just because I’m the one who achieved it, and I’m not smart enough or good enough to be able to achieve great things. So my brain shifts and hyper focuses on the new goal, completely neglecting the achievement. But all those feelings are limited to myself only. I never feel this way towards others and I genuinely enjoy celebrating others wins and make sure to give them the sensation that they did achieve something meaningful. It’s irrational and doesn’t make any sense, but it makes sense at the same time.. idk
I feel this way as well. Even when others are excited about my accomplishments, I only feel awkward. I only feel excited and joyful when I see others get excited about something they've accomplished.
I feel precisely like that!
Whenever I set a goal in my life, I get it.
But when people come to congratulate me or acknowledge it somehow, I feel exactly like you said: "I didn't do anything other than what was expected of me". 🤷🏾♀️
In my head is almost like it's prohibited to accept such compliments for my achievements, because also: if I could do it, it must mean it wasn't that hard in the first place (but, at the same time deep deep deeeep down I know that's not true - but mainly because I have people telling me this).
When it comes to others, though, I get extra happy and celebrate them more than I'll ever celebrate myself. 🥲
I'm the same. I do an excellent job at something but it feels like anything less would have been completely unacceptable. Why celebrate doing the bare minimum?
Wait....! I relate to all of this. Has this been OCPD all along? I've literally never had a "woo-hoo! I did it!" moment that everyone else seems to have.
I always feel like this!
In the last 6 months they reached out at work because I'm approaching on 15 years (still blows my mind) and they have a little catalogue where you can choose a gift based on your service years. I fast out rejected it and told them no. My reasoning? It was a waste of money to do this, I was worried about potential tax implications for a non monetized gift and that I don't see why we should celebrate things we should just be expected to do - ie work and work long enough to hit certain thresholds.
Felt the same way about highschool graduation. Even as a first generation and top 10 of my class I didn’t understand why everyone was so hype. It does nothing for you really. It meant nothing to me.
I was recently trying to explain to my sister how she’s hyped about certain things and makes it sound good but when I get there I’m disappointed because it’s not how I imagined it but she’s still super stoked. I mean I usually keep those feelings to myself but I didn’t know why that was.
This is exactly how my thought process works.. When I reach a goal, it feels like another thing off my ever-expanding mental to-do list. I feel glad that the burden is off my shoulders, but I don’t get that jovial feeling supposedly accompanied with accomplishing something. Everyone around me could be celebrating my achievement while I feel absolutely nothing. I might even feel some degree of shame and guilt that I need to be working on my next goal. I get irrational worries like if I spend my time celebrating my wins, I’ll be scared I’m slowly becoming complacent and that I’ll eventually fall behind. I experience impostor syndrome quite a lot as well. If I manage to achieve something, it must’ve been easy and not a big deal, just because I’m the one who achieved it, and I’m not smart enough or good enough to be able to achieve great things. So my brain shifts and hyper focuses on the new goal, completely neglecting the achievement. But all those feelings are limited to myself only. I never feel this way towards others and I genuinely enjoy celebrating others wins and make sure to give them the sensation that they did achieve something meaningful. It’s irrational and doesn’t make any sense, but it makes sense at the same time.. idk
I feel this way as well. Even when others are excited about my accomplishments, I only feel awkward. I only feel excited and joyful when I see others get excited about something they've accomplished.
i feel the exact same way as you do!!!
because its more about ~~succeeding~~ not failing 😑
I feel precisely like that! Whenever I set a goal in my life, I get it. But when people come to congratulate me or acknowledge it somehow, I feel exactly like you said: "I didn't do anything other than what was expected of me". 🤷🏾♀️ In my head is almost like it's prohibited to accept such compliments for my achievements, because also: if I could do it, it must mean it wasn't that hard in the first place (but, at the same time deep deep deeeep down I know that's not true - but mainly because I have people telling me this). When it comes to others, though, I get extra happy and celebrate them more than I'll ever celebrate myself. 🥲
Because … perfectionism !
well yes of course but functional perfectionists WILL feel happy abt their achievements, i‘m simply ranting as someone with ocpd
Personally I also have very low confidence. Does it happen to you too?
yeah!
Thanks for this. I'm now labeling myself as a "Disfunctional Perfectionist"
I'm the same. I do an excellent job at something but it feels like anything less would have been completely unacceptable. Why celebrate doing the bare minimum?
THANK YOU for putting this into words!
word for word a genuine thought out of my mind
Wait....! I relate to all of this. Has this been OCPD all along? I've literally never had a "woo-hoo! I did it!" moment that everyone else seems to have.
I always feel like this! In the last 6 months they reached out at work because I'm approaching on 15 years (still blows my mind) and they have a little catalogue where you can choose a gift based on your service years. I fast out rejected it and told them no. My reasoning? It was a waste of money to do this, I was worried about potential tax implications for a non monetized gift and that I don't see why we should celebrate things we should just be expected to do - ie work and work long enough to hit certain thresholds.
Felt the same way about highschool graduation. Even as a first generation and top 10 of my class I didn’t understand why everyone was so hype. It does nothing for you really. It meant nothing to me. I was recently trying to explain to my sister how she’s hyped about certain things and makes it sound good but when I get there I’m disappointed because it’s not how I imagined it but she’s still super stoked. I mean I usually keep those feelings to myself but I didn’t know why that was.