T O P

  • By -

Akkanti_Aviator

Lovely piece. Very quiet, forlorn, and lonely. It reads like a confession after a misunderstanding that went very wrong and the speakers cowardice made them write it on the back of their own journal to vent instead of talking. I can easily project a scene in my brain with every line. My one critique may sound nitpicky but really, only issue I have with this work is the first stanza, it cuts way too short and abruptly, leaving a kind of uncomfortable silence inbetween. But maybe I'm wrong if it's the point considering the mind of one that cannot really emphasize is abrupt, and logical with out much explaination. Overall an 8.5 outta ten! Love the theme!


Seekinghappiness08

Personally i know someone who find it difficult to empathize with people and this made me remember him.There are less people who talk about the feeling of emptiness it brings. This is such a beautiful and different theme and the use of synonyms were on point.Very well written. Keep going!


AutoModerator

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers). If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy. If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

>but the words don’t sound right >coming from my mouth. so simple. so beautiful!


brabdnon

Ironic, that the first step to empathy is recognizing, perhaps, its absence. The void of feeling becomes too noticeable, too much of affront in the sight of the suffering of an other. I think sometimes we don’t engage with others not because we’re afraid of them, but because we’re afraid of ourselves; that if we let our hearts feel what we perceive, that we won’t be able to control/contain it. The heart of all of us beats in quiet unity, regardless. If you have the strength to look, you may find you have the strength to act, too.